AmO...

John Scott

John Scott

A m O...

An Initiatory Voyage under the influence of fear-based psychic vampirism on the path to Unconditional Love and Light...

An Initiatory narrative.

Dedication

To John Stears, Liliane de la Porte and William Walter Scott. Pixie Palmer, Scottie and Shiva, to Light Beings and my ancestors. To them, to you, to us all...

together...

Non fumum ex fulgore sed ex fumo dare lucem John Stears

1 Karmic Sentence is passed/past

I once went to Brittany for the weekend... and ended up staying there for eleven years! Back in 1992, my French wife had decided to up and go and live in Pondicherry in India. Instead of returning to England with my tail between my legs I gave myself three months in which to find a job, which I did, located in a Training Centre in Orleans. Later, I often thought that I must have been the one who lit the torch that burnt Joan of Arc at the stake! Or at the very least, the one who gave away the keys to the English. Because I spent four long, miserable years working at 'Trajectoires' with long-term unemployed persons. Mind you, I was an expert in the matter, having been unemployed on several occasions in my varied professional life. I enjoyed the contact with the trainees, but the latent hostility of my superiors finally erupted into openly recriminatory expression in the form of a redundancy notice. So I left, wondering at the same time what on earth I was going to do next. This wasnt the first time in my life - I was always on the move! Schools, jobs, and even countries! And so here I was again, this time in a friend of a friends garden in southern Brittany, faced with the same recurrent, existential question: What in heaven am I doing here? Here, and yet not here. Its as though I found myself there, without really understanding why or what I was supposed to be doing there. It was one of those times when you observe yourself, as if you were an experiment in some kind of laboratory, (which is, of course, exactly what life on Earth is all about!), while at the same time feeling all of the accompanying sensations experienced by the object of our investigations. Like when you dip your toe in a stream. You feel the flow of water, the sudden awareness of localized, heightened sensations in the foot region that contrast radically with your overall sense of being. You feel the circulating stream but at the same time you feel outside, excluded from this vital life-current. Coming in from the outside. Feeling out from the inside. A kind of rebirth. The opposite of the birth process, in fact, coming out from the inside, and feeling in from the outside! It was times like this that I felt that I was once again starting from scratch. All over again! Id come to Brittany for a qi gong workshop with a Siberian shaman and his wife, Victor and Marana, a week earlier. I no longer wanted to continue translating the metaphysical and ontological writing of the Mateh family near Paris. (N.B. 'Mateh' is a made-up name.) I just didnt know whether I was coming or going. Then Batrice, my host for the weekend, generously proposed that I stay in her house as long as I wished until I found out what I wanted to do with my life. But the future loomed ahead, as empty as my mind! 9

And I was afraid. I was afraid because I had not yet understood that the future, my future, was simply not my responsibility! The same applies to all of us, in fact. Our job is to be available, open to the future, to nurture response- ability! The universe will take of the rest. Of course, global societal organization has become expert in ensuring that fear predominates in every walk of life! And all consumer societies depend upon first creating a demand before then arriving on the scene to satisfy it. Invade and destroy a foreign country, then return to 'rebuild' it, at no mean financial profit! Create the fear of insecurity, and then suggest (expensive) ways of overcoming it. Create the fear of illness and then supply endless remedies, most of which include sufficient negative side effects to ensure the perpetration of further illnesses. Creating the fear of unemployment, to ensure subsequent fear of just that. All at a cost...ours! But I had run out of remedies. I found myself in this flowery sun-soaked garden, with its bevy of bees busily spiralling around me on their visits as if drawing question marks in the sky to punctuate my questions. Who are you? and What are you doing here? they seemed to ask, before buzzing off. I noticed a game of Tarot on a table, and picked up the instruction booklet before nonchalantly choosing a card. Id never seen a pack of Tarot cards before. I drew Justice, the eighth arcane that announced: Accelerated unfolding of events; karmic sentence; just conclusion. You must expect a judgement to fall, inevitable in fact. The judgement comes from the highest realm. In a situation that appears to be impossible to resolve, this card delivers a brutal, categorical decision, with no right to appeal. This decision is characteristic of Destiny that speaks and imposes a solution that nobody expected... I religiously noted word for word in a blank notebook that I had bought several days earlier for no apparent reason. My attention was focused immediately upon karmic sentence and this Destiny that ... speaks and imposes a solution that nobody expected. I picked up where the bees left off: What does all this mean? And why are you writing it all down, as if for future reference? (This was the first of many entries in what was to become several notebooks, the 6th. September 1997.) In a way, it would suit me fine to have my problem resolved, but how? I didnt have to wait too long for the judgement to fall. As a rule, judgements arrived only too often in the form of a slipper or teachers board-ruler imposing its justice, measuring its sentence with dancing cadence on my nether regions. Oh, here we go again. But this time it would suit me fine. I just hadnt a clue where I was nor where I was going in life. I was tired of living, while at the same time conscious of, and frustrated by, the fact that Id done nothing of mention to warrant my passage on earth. I would have liked to have achieved something worthwhile. But here I was again, at (Einsteins quantum mechanical system state of) zero-point. My mind was as empty as a state of quantum vacuum zero-point 10

energy. I could have done with a personalized big bang! And three days later, it arrived!

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2 Astrological warnings
From 1992 in Orleans, I had begun to interest myself in what is commonly known, in France at any rate, as those kind of things; generally preceded by: I dont believe in... The paranormal and the 'invisible worlds'. (N.B. Occasionally referred to as the after-life; strictly speaking there is no such thing as an after life as life goes on living in its multifarious and multidimensional forms, instantaneously!) This was during the time that I was working in the Training Centre at Orleans where I was involved in social and professional reinsertion of the long-term unemployed persons and prison internees. Living too far away to benefit from the midday break at home, I drifted around the local FNAC, sandwich in one hand, thumb wedged in the pages of a book with the other. I discovered the shelves endowed with ancient and contemporary esoteric writings, and began to explore the world of humanist numerology and astrology. A friends mother drew up my astrological chart in which she made reference to areas that I had hitherto ignored and which seemed light-years away from my current occupations. She spoke of medical and psychic talents..., and of the development of spirituality, fecundity and occult forces..., together with philosophical projects. Occult? Spirituality? Reincarnation? Karma? Dictionary in hand, I continued to explore these domains, which were far from my current preoccupations. I pursued my investigations in the hope of discovering and thereby confirming latent qualities that may give me an indication of which direction to develop in my life. At first, it was a way of testing whether or not different sources corresponded in their interpretations of my make-up. I compared the astrological findings with their numerological counterparts, reading: ...Mysterious affairs and paranormal manifestations. Secret projects related to the collective/society. External occult manipulations. Spiritual group. Cultural or thematic voyages. Unexpected gains/success. Public performances... (Alain-Victor Christel. La Matrise de Nombres. Ed. Guy Trdaniel. 1994) The more I advanced, the more I discovered correlations between the two approaches. If I was dubious in the beginning, - Whats all this nonsense : external occult manipulation? - my scepticism gradually gave way to an increasing fascination for the 'new' and hitherto unexplored world that opened up before me. At the same time, I was attracted by the strangely familiar feeling surrounding these different ways of presenting 'reality' that contrasted sharply with the coldly arrogant and deterministic assertions of certain elements of the scientific community with its supposedly unquestionable validity. Notwithstanding the latter, I came to learn that ever since the beginning of time Man had spoken of an underlying, fundamental energy force or 'Spirit', at the base of all forms of life. Here, there, everywhere and that since the beginning of Time. This force is variously described as 'Chi', 'Vital Energy', 'Prana' or 'Partiki': 13

Partiki represent the units of crystalline morphogenetic substances out of which particles and anti-particles emerge. Partiki are units of electro-tonal energyidentity that emanate from a central cosmic source called the Yunasai.* Partiki are the primary units of energy that form all matter, anti-matter, pre-matter and non-matter substances. They are units of multidimensional light-sound and consciousness that represent minute projections of energy-identity from the central cosmic source. Partiki are the organizational intelligence and operational life-force fuel behind and within all manifestations and consciousness. Partiki operate as minute self-regenerating fission-fusion generators. Through the dynamics of their interaction they create and maintain the electromagnetic fields of sound frequency and light spectra of which the cosmos is composed. (Ashayane Deane. Voyagers. Volume II. Wild Flower Press. 2000, p.453) *(N.B. 'Yunasai' is another name for 'God', 'Source' or 'Great Spirit'. In other words, it is the Central point of All Union-Eternal Consciousness of the OneAll.) I remembered the time when people in general, and the Church in particular, believed that the Earth was flat! I also remembered Schopenhauer's words: All truth goes through three stages. First it is ridiculed. Then it is violently opposed. Finally it's accepted as self-evident. Poor Galileo was threatened with torture for suggesting the contrary. Even today, how many scientists dare not say what they really know to be true for fear of reprisals or loss of social or professional credibility and funding? It is generally considered that Fulcanelli (Camille Flamarion) was a well-known scientist in his time that had to resort to the use of a pseudonym to express his erudite alchemical knowledge. Of course, Im no genius but I can remember wallowing (silently!) in disbelief at school when worthy mathematics masters attempted to drill into me that: This is a yard. Not in my book it wasnt. I told myself that it was impossible to 'measure' a yard without taking into consideration every manoeuvre necessary to establish this fact. In addition, you would need to clarify where a yard ends and where all of the surrounding space above, below, at either end begins! In other words, the definition of a yard depends upon the clarification or definition of that which it is not. Once youve found its length, you need to explain how wide is it and how tall? Otherwise, your yard is left somewhat up in the air. Not an easy matter or a simple manoeuvre (man over...matter?). So I was not at all convinced by the conventional explanation. But as usual, I found myself in a minority and as torture was relatively commonplace in my schoolboy life, I piped down and didnt come within a yard of the question! The same applies to the process of locomotion: ...nobody has explained a push. But how could we possibly explain anything? We operate only with things that do not exist: lines, planes, bodies, atoms, divisible time spans, divisible spaces. How could explanations be at all possible when we first turn everything into an image, our image! (Friedrich Nietzsche. The Gay Science. Ed. Vintage Books. 1974. p. 172) I felt then like this famous toe in the stream; I heard the music, so to speak, 14

without having the feeling of being part of the composition! Each moment, each day, each year, each life, each yard and each toe is just the microcosm of the macrocosm. Each parcel of life is lived from its own particular viewpoint, differentiated, but at the same time an integral part of the whole. As in a hologram, which is one explanation for how the whole Universe could be contained within a grain of sand. There is no 'other'. We are all united with all visible or invisible things, in One. Until scientists and clergy discover that the universe is constructed upon an ordered model of multidimensional reality, (in which physics and spirituality/evolutionism and creationism co-exist), they will be unable to prove or disprove the existence of the Other-worlds. (Ashayane Deane, Voyagers. Volume I. Wild Flower Press. 2001 p. xxiv) Returning to my readings, I found: This life is often marked by a more or less serious karmic illness depending upon what he has decided to purge in this existence. It is an incarnation of purification in which the soul will finish with one part of its evolutionary cycle... He must devote himself to others. It is an incarnation of sacrifice. Gift of healing. I would have loved to help or even heal people. But how? I didnt imagine for a moment what was going to happen. Yes, I had already spent the greater part of my life working with people with comparatively difficult living situations. But from that to playing some kind of out of the ordinary role...? I would have loved to fulfil some of the potentials expressed in these readings. But how? The fact that I was asking myself How? was in itself indicative of precisely how not to proceed. Because implicit in the question how lies the assumption that it is 'we', 'ourselves', who are expected to formulate and find the solution by our self, on our own. This of course is thoroughly in keeping with the conventionally accepted point of view. But in actual fact, all we really need to do is simply be available. To make oneself available to life and to open ourselves to the sum potential that is just waiting to express itself through us. Theres no need for us to spend time scratching our head with endless interrogations. Deep down within each and every one of us is all that is required for us to realize ourselves, to realize our 'mission' on Earth. But each time we stop to ask ourselves how, we interrupt and block the flow of lifes energy through us. Some blockages reveal themselves in the form of states of inertia, which often indicate periods of internal reconstruction. At other times, we may well have the impression that we are advancing only to suddenly get the impression once again that we have regressed. But when we were learning how to walk, we didnt allow such trifling regressions prevent us from subsequently jumping further! But at this time, I was far from being able to cultivate such confidence in life. I woke up each morning in a cold sweat, drenched from the results of unconscious fears that had mounted to the surface. What was I going to do? Where should I go? How was I going to manage? I continued to believe that external forces governed what happened to me in life. That I was a helpless prey, a victim even, in face of the 15

whims of a reality over which I had no influence. I was afraid to choose and at times I was angry towards others. From my point of view, everyones life around me appeared to be going very well. Better than mine, at any rate. I didnt think it was fair, and I suffered from it. So, I found plenty of shortcomings in other people, as if to underline this blatant injustice! I had not yet made a link between the ills and the judgement that I levelled with regard to others corresponded to the ills and judgement that I inflicted upon myself. That I couldnt feel better in myself while feeling ill towards others. Hat such feelings belong to us, the time it takes for us to work it out on ourselves. We only think of others faults because we suffer from them, but it is ours that have determined this sufferance. You need to think to yourself in order to purify the atmosphere around you in which you evolve, and by your example will be the best, the most harmonious way whereby you can direct those who do ill. (Henri Durville Au Seuil de lInitiation. Ed. Chapitre. 2000 p. 109) And I continued to read and reread. I did not yet know what 'magnetism' or personal, healing was when I read: You are endowed with powerful magnetism. Charisma. You are altruistic, fraternal and universal. You may be an evolved soul who does not go unnoticed. You could have fooled me! I contemplated myself, hiding away in my fears and uncertainties in the process of reading such strange things that nonetheless rang familiar, deep down inside. Words that were sufficiently striking for me to note them down hoping, no doubt through vanity, that they contained an element of truth about me! But sometimes, they were completely out of the question: You are at the head of a group that you guide towards the new age. Your mission consists in knowing how to choose your friends and to help people express their talents. You are a visionary, a creator, an idealist, even a revolutionary. Your projects are important. Fraternal and universal tendencies. (Chiron, XI House) Group? What group? Not the groups of social and professional reinsertion that I lead at Trajectoires! I couldnt see myself reflected in the above words. All I want is to do good, to make people happy. I had already worked with Fourth World populations with Aide Toute Dtresse in England and France; with Romany travellers; in psychiatric halfway house contexts; and with Single and Homeless Families. There had been lots of groups, lots of people, but nothing of revolutionary or mystical nature. I hadnt a clue what was going to follow. I was not yet ready to confront or to discover myself during my time at Orleans. But in noting down these clues, I began to collect elements that would serve as a basis for my stuttering interrogations. I became interested in humanist numerology and later left Trajectoires having decided that it was time that I became 16

more independent. I resolved that never again would I work for a an employer. I went to work with the Mateh family, translating metaphysical and ontological texts. The Mateh had met the Ladanum couple previously at Trimurti in the south of France and later invited them to come to Presles-en-Brie to animate a qi gong group in which I decided to participate. Victor Ladanum and I immediately got on like a house on fire, as if we had known one another for years. Which indeed we had! His wife Marana was a psychic and she explained that we had shared several lives together in the past. At the time of the Magyar I had been his elder brother who had introduced him to the arts of warfare. The roles appeared to be reversed in this life as Victor was manifestly wellversed in a variety of Martial Arts. I became regular member of their qi gong group and embarked upon a series of highly fascinating weekend workshops. Then a friend of the Mateh, Batrice, came to stay one weekend and proposed organizing a workshop for the Ladanums in August in Brittany. Before the weekend in Brittany, the Mateh family decided to relocate to Brittany while I stayed on in Paris to complete the workshop cycle before moving on to join them. Rose Mateh had made an appointment to visit Sonia Lazareff, a wellknown psychic in Paris. At the last moment, she was unable to go, and offered me her appointment. Hum, never been to visit any one suchlike before in my life! So, off I went. I had prepared a list of questions such as : Should I continue my work with the Mateh?; Should I remain in Paris?; Should I remain in France?; and so on. Sonia described to me a context in which I seemed to be undergoing a certain level of exploitation with dishonest colleagues or partners in view. The Mateh? She noted evidence of some kind of mental manipulation and that there seemed to be some kind of psychic interference surrounding me, as if a spell had been cast upon me. So I asked her whether my (by now) best friend, Victor, could resolve the problem given his shamanistic extrasensory powers. She turned her attention to Victor and suddenly shoved herself away violently from her desk, as if petrified. All consternation broke out: Beware! Victor doesnt want you to escape! He wants your innocence! Hes after your soul!!!!! Steer clear of this person: Its the Devil!!! Danger!!! I couldnt believe it! Victor? My best friend? My hero? He was like a God on Earth for me. But why would he wish me harm? What could I have that could possibly interest him? It just didnt make sense; neither her reaction nor the implications of her words. All of a sudden my stomach churned and I became nauseous, like an empty bottle riding violent waves in a storm. At the same time, I became cold with fear. What if she were right? What would (and could) I do now? Why did she have to come along and shatter what was beginning to be a life with a semblance of purpose? Where do I go from here? I continued to fearfully mull over these and other uncomfortable questions in the days to come. I arrived at the following qi gong workshop with an ominous dark cloud hovering over my head and a pressure-cooker seething with pent-up steam just 17

waiting to explode from within. Victor was his usual cheerful, magnanimous self. I searched in vain for the tiniest clue to reveal unrest or nervousness on his behalf, convinced that he must be aware of my visit and of its implications. Nothing! Was I imagining things? Whats more, was I now unjustly suspicious of someone who patently appeared to devote his life to the well-being of others? Feelings of guilt mingled with an overriding sense of fearful, defensive anger directed at Sonia, at Victor and at myself. The weeks went by, and slowly but surely I began to push all thoughts of danger, betrayal or bedevilment further and further from my mind. I desperately needed a sense of security, a Guide of sorts, even though I had an aversion for all notion of Master or Guru. I had always entertained a tense, unambiguous relationship with authority and its figures! Many are the time Id been beaten at school for refusing to comply with the indiscriminate demands of authority. No compromise. I was impossible and I had the bruises to prove it! But I had begun to weary of struggling and of forever kicking against the pricks. I longed for a bit of peace and quiet, a sense of belonging. I was tired of rowing upstream, against the current. It was time to go with the flow. Pushing my final reservations to the back of my mind, I continued to follow Victor. At the end of the weekend in Brittany, Victor told me that I was now ready to teach qi gong there! After only a few months practice? I thought he must be joking and was left wondering what I was going to do and where I was going to go from there. I was still wary of Sonia's words concerning dishonest colleagues and partners and as a precaution I decided to end my collaboration with the Mateh. Beatrice contacted a psychic friend of hers to ask if she could help find some answers to my interrogations. Her friend replied that she was turning to other things now, but that she would let me know if ever she had a message for me. Several days later I was visiting Batrice at her work-place in Brest when a woman unknown to me arrived to give me a message from the invisible worlds. She was called Liliane de la Porte, and she was clairvoyant. Well, she may have had her head somewhere up there in the clouds, but her feet were planted squarely on the ground! She invited me outside in the small rose garden and without beating about the bush announced in a nanosecond: You are a healer. For the last two years those up there have tried to attract you come to Brittany. You can decide to stay here and do healing work or you are free to refuse. But you wont be a healer in England. The choice is yours. Do you want to stay?

Bang !!!
Dumbstruck, I tottered on my feet. Her words struck me like punch in the stomach. Even though I didnt really know what a healer really was I sensed that what she was saying was true. I felt it deep down inside. I heard myself utter Yes as all sorts of thoughts flooded to mind. But how was I going to manage? What would I have to do? I had no training. I hadnt a clue what was involved. As usual! A 18

huge, empty space opened up before me. But Liliane continued to fire away, as if reading my mind, rattling off words with confident determination: Dont go and see other healers. You dont need to read anything about healing. Theres no training on Earth that is suitable for you. Theres no need for you. Simply go into the woods and observe the workings of Nature. Listen to the river and to the songs of the stones. Let yourself be guided by your feelings. Place your faith in the Universe and its ability to instruct you? Let it help you to find yourself. What? Id never heard anything like it. Let Nature guide me? You must be kidding! That would be like jumping into the void! Or a 'black hole'! A leap in the dark. But I was already in the dark as far as my future was concerned. And yet her calm confidence reassured me. She told me that I had been a healer all this time without being aware of it. These words really intrigued me because only a week earlier one of my friends daughter, Fanny, had come running to her mum complaining of a violent headache. I had spontaneously waved my hands around her head (just like those bees!) predicting confidently: Dont worry, Ill soon get rid of that!. And lo and behold, I did! While the thought of being able to heal people like the gentle Jesus appealed to me I could not quite reconcile this prospect with my current feelings of a state of empty uselessness. Where to begin? And how? I was like a new-born baby in an adults body, apprehending each stage with timorous incredulity... But Liliane was there. She offered to guide me in my new venture and to accompany me in the beginning stages of the journey of self-discovery that opened before me. She was already considerably advanced along the path and had received a calling to help me, amongst others, along the way. This was the beginning of a short but intense relationship in which Liliane attempted to induct in me as much insight as possible. No mean task, given my educational track record! About as easy as squaring the circle.

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3 Astral logical dawning

Liliane had worked for many years in the Arsenal at Brest, and her health had suffered accordingly. According to her, she was on her last legs. Following our first revelatory meeting she encouraged me to start my healing work on her, which is exactly what I did. In fact, it was more-like inexactly at first, because I really hadnt a clue what to do! I thrust my arms out rigidly in front of me, gyrating like a dalek from Dr Who and averting my head (as if that would make any difference!), simply praying that something would happen to ease her pain. And it did. Even though I felt nothing, Liliane immediately began to feel the benefit of the energy that flowed between us, or rather, through me to her! This was all perfectly normal, according to her. I had spent my whole life bathing in my own energy and so I just took it for granted. I didnt feel its presence, myself. Like a fish, that only becomes aware of the importance of water in which it evolves if it is removed from it. So there I was; thrown in at the deep end! So, she began visiting me virtually every day, not just for the benefits of my healing energy, but more importantly to position me for my future work. By positioning, Liliane referred to her role as a kind of instructor, someone who could accompany the person, introducing them to those kind of things. The kind of phenomena that they may otherwise ignore but which would be useful in the future. In order to achieve this, she combined her psychic sensibility with other mediumistic facets. She often used Tarot cards as a support, even though she invariably described a situation before revealing its confirmation in the cards! I wasnt the first person that Liliane had been 'called upon' to reveal their respective talents. At this time, she was actively involved in positioning two mediums, Adrne and Myriam. She also introduced me to the use of the pendulum to find water and to measure the positive or negative orientation of vibratory levels in different circumstances. For example, to start off with I could test whether or not source water was fit to drink. Or whether certain foods were comestible. I went a little bit over the top in the beginning, gadding about surreptitiously testing every single item that I intended to buy in any given shop in order to ensure that they were suitable for me! Nonetheless, the hours that I spent measuring this and investigating that enabled me to become relatively competent in the domain after a few months practice. (After a couple of years, you can then lay aside your pendulum, because your instincts and your self-confidence will have become fully engaged, the pendulum only ever being an extension of what you already 'know' deep down inside.) But I was still at the beginning of a road that Liliane appeared to have advanced along for several years already. She continued to receive messages from above, sometimes getting up in the middle of the night to jot things down ready to telephone me the following morning. I began noting them down in order, thats to say in disorder, because these messages took no heed of terrestrial time concepts: 21

they were quite likely to jump without warning from one subject or space-time continuum to another: Harmonise the masculine and feminine within. You (N.B. Liliane and John) are both your mirror image and you must work together to become aware of your true Self, of the joy buried within yourselves. As long as you resist and remain unchanged, youll continue to attract the same people . Youll reap the fruits of your work good or bad. You need to gain selfconfidence. You are going to discover your treasure and all kind of doors shall open for you. Children, in growing youll enable others to grow. (Lilianes notes, August 1997) But I was far from being the easiest student to teach. I never had been. Already at Primary school, I was the one that got beaten by all the masters for anything and everything that went wrong in the school. They always assumed that I was the leader and thereby responsible for any disorder. As for me, up until now Id never cow-towed to authority. I didnt like acknowledging my ignorance. Or rather, I simply did not like being wrong, this wrong that only too often I attributed to others: If you feel under attack, its because you have not yet sufficiently advanced in self-understanding. You criticize others for not being clear about themselves. But are you, yourself? (Liliane 1997) Hum, this was the kind of reasoning that was difficult for me to hear. I only wanted to 'do good' and hereby give myself some kind of legitimacy. But without too much auto-criticism, if you dont mind! Above all, I wanted to retain control over my life, my destiny. I wanted to be free. I wanted to be entirely autonomous and independent of everything and of everyone. I didnt like people telling me what I should do and how I should do it. But paradoxically, and thanks to the socioeducational pressures that are common to us all, part of me wanted, also, to please others, to be accepted by others. To be loved. Being (seen to be) wrong was, by inference, failing to please and being considered as unacceptable. Another dilemma. On the one hand, it appeared now that I had been endowed with the gift of healing simply by using my hands. It was natural. But at the same time, what I said or did other than in these moments of healing activity was not natural, in the sense that I continued to make mistakes, to quite simply be wrong. Meanwhile, I quite navely assumed that now that I was kind of 'gifted to do good', everything must automatically become more fluid and harmonious around me. No more obstacles. The whole Cosmos would conspire to facilitate my successful realisation! But this was wishful thinking. Not only did I continue to encounter red lights along my route, but also numerous diversions, setbacks and challenges.

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This was a source of constant confusion and annoyance for me. Why couldnt I just be left in peace to do good around me, full stop? Why give me the capacity to help people when on occasions I only had to open my mouth to upset someone? I wanted everything to be perfect and luminous. Now! That there was no more misery on Earth that all problems were resolved, that people were happy and that everyone lived in peace and in harmony. But if my intentions were good, my ego was somewhat regressed in its understanding of 'Love'. Because Love involves loving everything, without exception, unconditionally... And if we do not first love our self how can we manage to love (all) others? I did not love myself and so I could not love others. There was still this little child inside who longed to be able to stay at home in the warmth, next to his mum by the fireside scoffing freshly-baked cakes. If only the world could have stopped there, at the age of innocence! But obviously, there would be no point in inviting ourselves back to Earth throughout successive incarnations were there nothing more to learn, nothing new to undertake, nothing to dare, nothing to surpass... Even the so-called 'baddies' among us seek a return to beatitude a return to the Golden Age, to this notion of a 'paradise lost' that everyone harbours deep-down within themselves. But this is forgetting that if God is in us, we are not God, no more than is our ego us! The ego is a tool that enables us to advance. Its the ego that we observe in those moments where we have the impression of being in action without fully being there! Like the feeling of one's toe in the stream: Toe be or not toe be...!) Blind to its own ignorance, the ego believes itself to be in charge of everything instead of recognizing that it is merely vehicle that enables us to savour the delights and pains of the evolutionary path that the soul has chosen for us. Its the soul that guides and directs the vehicle along its route. Its the soul that is invoked to harness or subdue this rampant emotional expression that inputs energy into motion (e motion?). But in order to advance, both the driver and the conductor need fuel resources Spirit. And even if we are capable of advancing without a vehicle, our vehicle nonetheless needs us in order to advance. We may have the impression that its us who advance along the pathway of life but in fact the pathway in question is us! Its more a case of life passing through us, than of us passing through life. Time does not pass; it rests where it is. We are the pass-time! And life assumes an identity that corresponds to the image that we ascribe to it, depending upon our point of view at any one time in general, and at this moment in time in particular. As Wittgenstein said, the world of the happy man is not the same world as that of the unhappy man. At the same 'time', it could be said that while living the effects of an apparently visible and concrete world, this real world of our classical scientists, we simultaneously occupy several other worlds and lives invisible ones. A bit like Russian dolls, only in reverse. We can see the external doll or physical body but there are also internal and external energetic bodies, without mentioning separate existences pertaining to other multiple dimensions, all of which escape the attention of our five senses. A bit like the cabriole of quantum particles that also appear to occupy several 'places simultaneously. According to the astro-physician (citing 23

Einstein): 73% of all that exists is an unknown type of black matter of which we (Science) know nothing; a further 23% consists of black matter of an equally unknown type. The remaining 4% is composed of atoms and molecules, like you and I, and this chair. If all of our machines and technologies are mobilised, we are only able to see one-tenth of this matter, in other words a mere 0,4% of Everything.. Is this all that this Science, a body of Science that appears to have replaced God in the authority-figure hierarchy in conventional society, can inform us upon about reality 0,4% ? Many of the earthly scientific communities believe that life is limited to the physical expression and that consciousness is the result of the body's biochemical/neuro-electrical functions. Following these erroneous beliefs, they draw an equally erroneous conclusion that consciousness ends at the death of the physical body. Yet at the same time they are unable to identify the creative, intelligent force through which an ordered system, such as the body, could be created. Current scientific thought creates a paradox within itself, as an attempt is made to define the mechanics of infinite reality within the confines of the finite, 3-dimensional mind. The paradox can be overcome once it is realized that consciousness and intelligence pre-date the manufacture of the body, and transcend its finite life span. Once this is realized, science will be confronted with a whole new order of multidimensional reality, and a whole new science through which that multidimensionality can be understood. (Ashayana Deane,Voyagers Volume II. Wild Flower Press. 2000 p. 39) The ego, too, positions itself outside or apart in the same way as classical scientists with their notion of objective observer; as if each observed object operated independently of everything else in a kind of closed circuit. The ego does not accept being a mere part of the Whole. It divides, in the same manner as scientific investigation, in order to seek their respective truths in vain. But the ego seeks to situate itself beyond and above the objects of its attention. This is the classical sciences observer, in opposition to quantum-physic investigation in which it is acknowledged that the observer themselves is part and parcel of what is being observed. That the observer influences both the form and the content of what is under observation. They are at once the subject and object of what is observed. Less a case of an observer observing a process, than being all parts of a process that simultaneously observes itself ! Like reading this book! Here, the text itself is more of a context within which the readers themselves also create meaning and bring knowledge into cognition. Time is simultaneous incorporating all multi-dimensional (including linear/line here) times and experiences in the present moment which itself includes an infinity of conceivable expressions: Time present and time past Are both perhaps present in time future, And time future contained in time past. If all time is eternally present All time is unredeemable. (T.S. Eliot, Burnt Norton. Ed. Faber & Faber) 24

Let's put it another way; the present moment is the cause. Both past and present being the effects. What at first sight appears to be a linear concept time reveals itself to be multidimensional and timeless. For example, a (grammatical) sentence appears to have a beginning, a middle and an end. Full stop! But this is, of course, an illusion. The 'reading' of a sentence invites us to indulge in a co-creative dance involving constant gymnastics of an infinite myriad of potential interpretations. For example: Earth is blue like an orange; never a mistake, words do not lie (Paul Eluard). Appraisal is invited of both the grammatical/syntax and literal/metaphoric 'readings' that are contained therein, not to mention the 'invisible' and un-tangible dynamic that unites them simultaneously to ensure the creation/existence of the text itself. The duality/polarity of a coin; 'heads' (positive/grammatical) and 'tails' (negative/literal) are, then, united by their neutral 'common denominator': the coin itself. Thus we have here a dynamic, multi-faceted unified context:: a co-creation co- creating, and in turn co-creator! ...In the meantime, at the other end of the 'harmonics spectrum', the ego cuts itself off from its own roots and isolates itself, losing its way as it nurtures frightening itself to death. It ends up hoping desperately that nothing change will change; if only things could remain as they are for ever, please?... whoever, whatever and wherever you are...? Like this little child John! That is exactly how I lived during these years. Id cut myself off from others early on, but more fundamentally thereafter cut myself off from my profound self. Like the ego, I sought a kind of auto-determination in place of which I encountered uncertainty and a lack of self-confidence that manifestly thrived on a diet of underlying fear. Because at the end of the day it boiled down to a question of confidence. Confidence in others, granted, but which could only develop through self-confidence. Only too often I sought the solutions to problems outside of myself. As if somewhere there was a modus operandi that you could simply consult to find all of the answers you required. And in the absence of a living manual I resorted to If only... If only I had a stable financial situation... If only I could find my soul sister... If only I could live happily ever after. If only... Life would be so much easier. But no doubt also it would have been too flat and boring, mundane, too routine and...lifeless! At any rate, my ego was extremely frightened during these years despite continuing to insist the he was the boss and that he depended upon no one! But sooner or later, I had to admit that it wasnt me who pulled my puppet strings. For here was Liliane who talked of chains of love that linked us with the invisible worlds and with our ancestors. And this chain didnt work on a one-way system. You will succeed in your healing work. I have volunteered to support your evolution. Each step that you take will be a great step for me. Always remember that we advance together. There are three doctors for the healing. I do not 25

intervene, but Im allowed to be present. (Message from Pixie Palmer, my grand-mother who died in 1977.) So, everything that I did or that took place through me had repercussions in the invisible worlds? Are we simply like racehorses, then, that people can bet on? At least I was no longer alone and there was a certain element of freewill available to me, which counteracted the notion of a cast-iron destiny in which everything was preconceived leaving us without a word to put in edgeways. I could decide each day whether or not to jump these hurdles, these challenges that life was forever presenting me with. But the hurdles remain. They await me the next time round! But I am not expected to jump into thin air without a parachute. On our souls level, we are the ones who initially decided to present us with these hurdles to jump, these challenges to overcome. And let's not forget that we are not alone (and that we prepacked a map, thermos, sandwiches, a parachute...): Go on youngun, youre ready to act. Youll do a lot of good around yourself. Learn, and dont forget that on Earth as throughout the Universe, we are all united in a marvellous chain of love. Alone, you can do nothing. With everyone, you become divine. Because that is the sole purpose of your incarnation: to understand that God is in you and to remain humble in this love. (Pixie Op. Cit.) Liliane had described Pixie as having white curly hair, clutching her handbag at chest level, and wearing a necklace with three strands of pearls. Like a chain? This was an accurate description of the photographs of Pixie that I had kept with me. According to Liliane, this necklace was Pixies vow, placing her inextricably in reliance with me: Dont forget that in your work with Pixie, if you fail, she fails too. This chain, then, 'linked' me to and with Everything. Well help one another mutually. Linking me to this Everything, without which Id be nothing? I was going to have to choose, sooner or later. Was I to be independent, dependent or to become interdependent? Free or inextricably linked, directed even, by a force that overrides my own will? Sooner or later, because for the time being I contented myself with wallowing in the mud! But like my toe dunked in the stream, I had always felt 'outside', apart, at once there and not there. This was the case of being a foreigner in France; at once there yet not fully integrated. If I had often sought to discover what it was to be different by living or working with different people in psychiatric contexts or with the Fourth World population, with Romany Travellers or in post-revolutionary Iran, etc. it was as much to put myself to the test as to question the idea of difference as being the basis for the social rejection of this 'other'. Rejection that I did not accept as a matter of principal. For despite paradoxically considering myself to be different from others I recognized myself in the other to a certain extent. In seeking the specificity or singularity that distinguished these others from us, from so-called normal people, I also sought a more precise definition of who I was. And who decides what is normal? I was looking for myself. Like the brain that seeks the limits of its own intelligence, (a short-term experiment in my case), forever frustrated 26

by the fact that this same brain is, itself, its most useful tool. But it is simply no more than a tool. A computer that is 'programmed' to regurgitate preconceived parameters. Adrne and Myriam two psychics in the making - and I would all meet regularly to glean from Liliane the necessary basics for our future activities. Adrne was going to organize her workplace in a house in Brest, and she gave me some pots of paint to decorate downstairs in preparation for where I could subsequently receive my first customer. I began with Liliane, Adrne, Batrice and Myriam. It was pretty folkloric in the beginning. I still didnt really know how to go about things. I spontaneously closed my eyes, (which I later was to learn positively modifies the quality of energy imparted) and turned away my head for some obscure reason because my eyes were already shut anyway! I couldnt see or feel anything. Sometimes certain reassuring noises emanated from the persons stomach region at least something was happening, even if I didnt have a clue what it was! Nonetheless, from the very start Liliane assured me that my interventions were doing her good. Hum, that was good news for Pixie, too! One night at about three oclock, Myriam telephoned to say that she was suffering from an asthma crisis I could hardly recognise her voice or understand what she was saying. She could neither lie down nor sleep. She felt that she was choking to death and was very afraid. I drove off to Brest immediately and after half an hours healing work she regained her normal breathing pattern. Phew! The crisis was over, and we were both relieved and reassured, for different reasons this healing lark apparently worked!

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28

4 Consecration
Liliane continued to position me during the following weeks. The time had come for me to get myself together; a reconstitution that was not going to take place without my making further advances in learning patience. This proved difficult for me because I always liked to be chopping and changing, being on the move. It was a convenient way to avoid facing up to myself and to others. Liliane suggested that I leave aside all the Chinese nonsense (N.B. qi gong) and concentrate on my Celtic heritage that was closer to home. In fact, I had lost contact with Ladanum since he had come to Brittany in 1997. As time went by, I started to pay increasing attention to my surroundings and to all of the different sensations that expressed themselves in different parts of my body and through my hands. Liliane took me to all of her favourite haunts in this part of Brittany known as Finistre. (N.B. from the Latin Finnis Terrae, meaning the end of the earth, and its Breton name, Pen ar Bed, that translates as head of the World.) Some of them were well frequented, such as the basilica at Folgot, while others were off the beaten track. She often went to Pen ar Hoat, near Sizun, to fill her ancient, hollow-based Cte de Rhone bottles with fresh source water. There were three sources in all; an ancient druid source, and two more adjoining the chapel. On our first visit together we found a salamander in each source. The meeting of fire (the salamander is said both to represent and to be able to live in fire) and water the 29

unification of opposites! She took me out and about to discover chapels, fountains, sources and other energetic sites. For example, having arrived at some remote chapel she asked me to find the most energetic point. So there I was, standing there like a lost penny scratching my head and wondering where on earth to start looking, only to find that I was already on the spot! Much to Lilianes amusement! I was less proud. It seemed that learning a bit of humility, too, was part of the course! I began to discover that there were lots of situations in daily life in which I automatically and unconsciously reacted. I spontaneously directed myself to, or was attracted by, energy, by-passing all mental intervention, much to the reactive disdain of my ego. So whats the point of all this nonsense anyway? What am I doing here? Where was all this leading? Periodic messages from above, often from my ancestors, arrived through Liliane with answers to these questions: You dont have anything to prove to anyone. Dont restrain yourself, be yourself. Give without hurting. It was not easy bringing you back to Brittany. As for the Young one (Liliane), shell need to rest once shes finished with the camphor. You will need to give her lots of water, and do some healing work on her to bring her back to life. Listen to me. Im protecting you and I love you. Call me as often as you want. Im sending you lots of messages because the Young one will be leaving soon and I will no long be able to talk to you. I work with you during the night. Breath deeply before you fall asleep, and speak to me; The Young one can always depend on you. And you, youll feel betrayed if she gives you no more news. You are doing a good job together. She has more sincere friends in the after-life than on Earth. You must help her. She is still imprisoned by her feelings of inferiority. Like you, she has been wounded by life. For John: Work on the feminine aspect, starting with your family. Start all over again from the word dot with the Young one. Your financial difficulties will not last. You are well protected in the after-life. You can be assured of the support from those in the after-life. You will receive a lot in the mediumistic realms. Youve already made a good start well done. We are proud of you. Your father got the message about the bed. (N.B. I had written to him to suggest that he modify his bed position, as he was sleeping on a spot where two Hartmann lines crossed. He moved the bed and subsequently regained peaceful sleep!). I worked with him during the night. (September 1997. Assorted messages from Pixie) Occasionally, messages referred to some of my other lives:

30

...You were once a Chief under Attila. You destroyed everything. You tore down stones, you burnt, you raped, did evil. You abandoned your wife to make war. You must (now) liberate yourself from all of this suffering. The moment has come. You cant give the most of yourself with all this violence inside of you, because youll only transmit it to others. Thats why you must resolve certain problems before working. You are ready now, otherwise your gift for healing would not have been revealed to you. I was going to get back in touch with this internal violence in no uncertain terms at the time of my fathers death, but for the moment I was too preoccupied with the proliferation of events and discoveries abounding from all directions to grasp fully the signification of the above message. Why this particular message, and what was its relevance to my actual life? Go to war, leave my wife, and do wanton violence none of those things could relate to anyone who had sufficient selfesteem... because it is impossible to do evil to someone without also suffering oneself! But today, I was still suffering. I was still 'doing myself down'. I did not seem to have evolved much since my time in Attilas days! Luckily, more messages came to support and encourage me: ...Together we can do good work? A doctor in the afterlife, a man, is preparing to use your hands for healing work. Let yourself go with the flow dont block. The Young One will serve as guinea pig. Before using your hands, you can employ one of these prayers: - Oh God, without You I am nothing. Im not seeking to obtain a result, but simply to relieve his person who has come to me. Allow me to bring them peace, for the love of your name. - If this is the moment, send them healing. If not, send them loving thoughts. - This person has some problems: help them through my hands. - I confer my hands to your will. God, and God alone, disposes of the power to heal. Once you have understood that you are God, then all miracles will become explicable, and youll be able to treat all who come to you because, first and foremost, its their soul that needs healing. Me? God? Obviously not! I realized that Gods Will could express itself through me, through us, in the same way that magnetic energy (or fluid, as it is known by some) manifests itself through us. You could say that I dont have a clue what Im doing during a healing session. Its not me that decides whats going to happen, and when. Im a mere intercessor in a process that works by itself...thanks to God! A bit like the process of respiration; even though it manifests itself through me, I don't have to be consciously aware or actively implicated in the process for it to succeed and thank God (again!) too because, otherwise, how would I ever get the chance to sleep! The Young one knows all that because weve done that already with her. Thats what drew her to you. This is whats so exciting for her. As she prepares to pass 31

on to the next phase, she can transmit all that she has learned to you. And weve done a lot of work with regard to health matters. Its a surprise for all three of you (John, Adrne and Myriam). We have others in store for you. Return to Universal Love. Dont allow terrestrial sentiments to dominate your thoughts; (Message from William Walter Scott my deceased paternal grandfather, received by Liliane on the 3rd October 1997) Hum, terrestrial sentiments. Its difficult to avoid them! Sentiments are everywhere...not to mention emotions; these deep sombre sentimental currents and explosive waves of superficial and short-lived emotions that well up from the depths of the psyche. The expression of fear and violence that is catalysed by an object. This object, person or a situation, is often taken for being the cause and source of the fear or anger, which provides a convenient way for the (angry/fearful) person to distance themselves from an understanding and resolution of the real source problem. And the further we get from the source, base emotions replace the calmer reflection and compassion that is required, pulling us deeper into the murky realms of reactive, uninformed ignorance. Emotions and sentiments are, effectively, terrestrial, because they are almost exclusively confined to life on Earth. Once liberated from our carnal envelope, when our terrestrial vehicle (the physical body) dies, we are spontaneously liberated from what at times amounts to the grips of emotional and sentimental control. In the 'afterlife', we continue to observe and hear people on Earth but we are no longer under the influence of the emotional or sentiment colouring of events. Emotions belong to life on Earth. Its thanks to them that we can appreciate the myriad subtleties, inflections and wealth of experience that life on Earth proposes to us. It is also thanks to them that the evolutionary value of our experiences is measured with regard to the quality and depth of our respective reactions to them. Advance! We need you. Its time to act. Strengthen this love chain to unite us all. We need people like you to weld the first links. Dont try to break them. But we will ask much of you. You must become pure in yourself and love God. Each time you take a step forward, youll advance in your work. Great wealth awaits you, sufferance too, but the results will amaze you. At first, I oscillated between unabated enthusiasm for this fascinating source of information and a sceptical questioning of its credibility. However, as the months passed by I was able to confirm a sufficient amount of Lilianes messages to be convinced of their validity. The evidence spoke for itself. How could a total stranger arrive from nowhere to announce that I had the capacity to heal? I began to ask myself deeper questions about such notions as reincarnation and psychic communication with the invisible worlds. You have incarnated to perform healing work. Dont let us down. You need to change your lodgings... but stay in Brittany. Dont live in doubt. Not only do you help people on Earth, but you help us, too. No longer doubt your abilities. Have 32

confidence in yourself. (Pixie, the 6th October 1997) Not only do you help people on Earth, but you help us, too. When we are born, we inherit the combined genealogical data of both parental lines. In other words, the heritage of hundreds of generations and of thousands of people. This is without taking into account our inheritances from all of our other past lives - all of which is stored in our DNA. We are not simply, then, the issue of our ancestors. Nothing separates us from them...apart from prejudices and the respective level of our open-mindedness. And an exclusive belief in linear time? In a sense then, we are our ancestors! And so here we are then, inextricably linked to our ancestors in an eternally long chain. Each time a problem is resolved in the present it spontaneously liberates all of the ancestral lineages concerned while, at the same time, releasing subsequent generations. In the event of unresolved problems, we simply pass them on to 'future' generations, as an athlete passes the baton in a relay race. You will help in avoid many operations. You will talk a lot not discussions! Your words will do untold good. No longer doubt: ACT. ... Take note of signs coming from birds. There will be a signal from above : for your CONSECRATION. We will always support you. What was meant by my consecration? Shortly afterwards, Liliane suggested that I go to Carnac to find a white stone where I would be consecrated. The same day, and without prior consultation on their part, Batrice proposed a trip to Carnac. She wanted to take me to a stone that had been shown to her by a now deceased friend of hers, (Adrnes daughter). Batrice left me alone by this large, flat stone known as the White Lady. I circled around it, looking for some kind of a clue as to why I had come there. The White Lady was a bit off the main pathway that led to a popular menhir (N.B. Menhir = long stone ; men/maen = stone; hir = long, in Breton). I could hear the cries of excited children in the distance as I lay down on the white stone to soak up the sun. I closed my eyes and began to let my thoughts drift away to the humming sounds of nature. I lost track of time and when I finally opened my eyes I had a surprise. Directly above my head I realized that the surrounding tree summits and branches converged to form a circle in the sky. Right in the middle I saw a hawk delicately hovering over me, flapping its wings in a manoeuvre that is known as the Holy Ghost (the Saint Esprit, in French). The birds spirit embraced my soul. And that is how I came to understand the significance of Lilianes message: Take note of birds signs. This was exactly the way in which I was going to use my hands! (All those years of mimicking Jimi Hendrix's deft manual virtuosity would finally bear fruit!) This was my consecration. She had told me to avoid other healers and writings about healing practice. Instead, she sent me off to the woods to visit stones and water sources. I learned later that animals automatically follow the most energetic paths, just as birds and whales traditionally follow magnetic lines. Many contemporary roadways had been 33

constructed on countryside paths that were originally animal tracks. They then became progressively larger before ending up as fully-fledged roadways. In this way, animals (and subsequently human beings) were able to top up their batteries while going about their business. Even today in parts of Brittany, ancient plots of land with their characteristic sloping embankments (talus) demarcate the passage of energy. I learnt that the entire world consisted of an elaborate network of energetic lines that criss-crossed both land and sea. Of course, these have existed since the beginning of time, but more recently they have become known as Hartmann and Curry lines, named after the people that dis-covered them, together with Ley lines and Sacred lines (one example of which passes through the Cheops pyramid). I also learnt that most of our cathedrals and churches had been constructed on pagan sites of worship, noted for their particularly powerful energetic fields and their sacred relationship to water, revealed through the presence of underground water currents and networks. That the height of certain cathedral spires corresponded exactly to the depth of a water source beneath them, such sources having been deemed sacred in the past. For example, the spire of Notre Dame in Paris is thirtyfive meters high and a natural spring is to be found thirty-five meters below ground level. Liliane said that those above had prepared me for healing work since 1983, when I was thirty-three. She stressed the importance of emptying my head (not too difficult, in my case, given the dearth of content!), if I were to function efficiently in the healing work. My ego was less impressed, feeling somewhat left out! ...And you dont need books for that! She often communicated with Pixie, who was delighted to be a spectator during the healing sessions, clutching her handbag. I was still very tense, waking up in cold sweats fearing for my future, wondering where on earth all of Lilianes teachings would lead. Having stayed at Beatrices for a couple of months, the time came to look for somewhere of my own. Liliane searched for an estate agent with her pendulum. First of all, two addresses were proposed; a number 11 somewhere in Brest, and a number 22 at Saint Ronan. And so off we went to explore these two master-number properties. But the Brest flat was a concrete construction not very ecological and hardly conducive to energetic practice and the other flat was virtually derelict. From one extreme, and century, to another. As we re-entered the estate agency, we heard the agent finish their telephone conversation with a Yes, thats all right. Ill see you tomorrow, Madame de la Porte! Two Madame de la Porte? This was too much of a coincidence. And sure enough, an offer had just arrived for a flat in a castle not far from Plabennec. We eagerly set off, me busily calculating the numerological value of its name ; Le Leuhan, 33/6, or Chteau du Leuhan (The Leuhan Castle), 55/1, both master numbers. Never two without three...?

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The 1st May 1882.

5 Leuhan Castle

Within no time we arrived before the entrance of what subsequently proved to be an auspicious neo-gothic castle that inspired immediate respect. Liliane explained that she had passed in front of the castle on several occasions without ever daring to venture within through respect. According to her, the two red lions on either side of the imposing gateway represented the sun and the moon in the alchemical process of 'transmutation'; symbols of the opposing yet mutually interdependent facets of Man's nature that await reconciliation. They were a symbolic indication that the castle beyond, veiled by the portal's imposing protection, contained the knowledge of the Great Work. There were eight vertically interlaced circles inscribed on either side of the gateway. The circles of Venus linking its eight-year cycle of rings around the Sun and Earth, creating the pattern of a flower with five petals: that of the Tudor Rose. I had drawn the eighth Tarot card 'Justice', symbolising perfection, that had announced my imminent meeting with Liliane, my destiny and with myself. At the time, I was 35

oblivious of its symbolic and premonitory implications that, like me, were awaiting to seek the light of day: Justice was thus an invitation to faultless introspection, to plunge into the present. This arcane breaks free from traditional representation of Justice with its closed eyes , its gaze meeting our own like a mirror, like a call to awareness. Above all, it involves the need to do justice to oneself, to give oneself ones just desserts. (Alexandre Jodorowsky. Marianne Costa. La Voie du Tarot. Ed. Albin Michel. 2004. p181) The potential unification of body and mind is symbolised in this card by the four fingers that represent thought, emotions, desires and corporal needs which in rejoining the thumb invoke quintessence Man. It is this hand that holds the balance, the future was in the balance! Mans future. A future intimately linked to their past, the signs of which are already engraved here in stone in the plaque inscribed in Breton:

AN TI MAN A ZO BET SAVET HERVEZ VA MENNOZ HA SPERRET ME IANN BURNETT STEARS. AR MEAN KENTA A ZO BET AZEZET, DANN DEIZKENTA A MIZ MAE 1882, GANT VA BRIED BAITRIS DENIS A KEREDERN A TROBRIAND. LACROIX MESTR MEDHEROUR GOIZIEK HA VICTOR LA PIERRE KISELLER A SKIANT AZO BET KARGET EUX AL LABOUR. RA VEZA BENNOZ DOUE VA RE HA VA BUGALE, EVEL MEO BET WAR-N-HON HA WAR VA ZUD COZ.
THIS HOUSE WAS BUILT IN ACCORDANCE WITH MY IDEA AND INTENTION BY MYSELF, JOHN BURNETT STEARS. THE FIRST STONE WAS POSED ON THE FIRST OF MAY 1882

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BY MY WIFE BATRICE DENISE DE KEREDERN DE TROBRIAND. LACROIX MASTER OF THE OEUVRE AND VICTOR LA PIERRE EXPERIENCED SCULPTOR WERE COMMISSIONED TO ACCOMPLISH THE WORK. MAY MY SOUL AND THOSE OF MY CHILDREN BE BLESSED BY THE LORD AS IT WAS FOR ALL OF MY ANCESTERS.

The words inscribed on the plaque served as a visible reminder and invitation to any passer-by to visit their own internal temple, to discover their true inner self. An invitation that remains as invisible to the profane eye as these words in Breton remain unintelligible to the common mind. The Knowledge, Gnosis is available for all to see but goes largely unnoticed (un-gnosis?) on a conscious level. But while the mind may well ignore the invitation to partake in the symbolic feast that is proposed by many a village chapel, stone henge and county cathedral, the soul continues to avidly nourish itself with sage appreciation with each visit. Liliane and I accepted the invitation and passed beneath to arrive entranced before the regal castle. As I stepped out of Lilianes car a white cat (Sweetie) shot out of the surrounding woods only to screech to a halt before settling down on my feet! We looked at one another: this was the place! The imposing castle towered above the surrounding park that was richly endowed with lush vegetation and eternal oak, horse chestnut, beech and tulip trees. Ominous granite statues adorned the parapets, evoking those to be found at Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris, while two winged dogs mounted guard at the feet of the stone steps leading up to the entrance. Stained glass windows with alchemical designs completed the first summary appraisal. John was back. I was now forty-seven years old. John Stears left the castle in 1888 at the age of forty-six. Leuhan stands for Johns place in Breton. So, here I was, back in Johns place or Yanns (Burnett Stears) place. John Stears was a Scotsman born in Brittany. I am a Scott, with Scottish, Irish (because the Scot clan came originally from Ireland), Welsh (on my mothers side, as we are descendants of the Tudor Family), and English or British origins - a grand Breton! According to the Petit Robert (N.B. a French dictionary), the parish of Leuhan is 'VICaria Luhan'. 'Vicaire', from the Latin vicarius, which stands for 'substitute'. Gods substitute, Saint Pierre. The word Leuhan comes from the ancient Breton word luh, which stands for lake or pool, and an which refers to Loch-Yann' Johns place. Indeed, at the end of the Nineteenth Century the most beautiful lake in the whole of Finistre adjoined the castle. And the word loch in Scottish refers to the Breton word Luh - lake! And so it was that the Scottish John found himself in Johns place, loch-Yann, next to a lake, loch, lac, tang!

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The Scott clan adopted the word AMO... as its motto, which is Latin for I love.... The heraldic iris (fleurs-de-lis) and the thistle both figure on their insignia: My ancestors came from France and Scotland. The iris and the thistle : my language and my name. I noticed that there were seven fleurs-de-lis carved in stone on either side of the stairway leading up to the castle front door. If the fleurs-de-lis is a symbol of purity, it is also the emblem of French Royalty, and an indication of the healing powers that were attributed to it in the past, as well as featuring prominently in both in English and Scottish Crown jewels: The treasured fleur-de-luce he claims To wreathe his shield, since royal James. (Sir Walter Scott. The Lay of the Last Minstrel.) (N.B. While they featured fleur-de-lis, the Tudor family did not incorporate its personal arms into the Royal arms of England unlike other Royal dynasties.) Following the realisation of the Tarots prediction preceding my meeting with Liliane, I began to note down carefully the flurry of messages emanating from her. She suggested: Try and understand the various allegories you encounter and compare them. Its up to you to fathom their meaning. They are incommunicable. The book of life is to be found in Nature. Open your heart and your mind and...youll understand. And the rose shall blossom on the cross. (Liliane, the 5th November 1997) I read later the Fulcanellis words: The heraldic fleur de lys corresponds, in fact, to the hermetic rose. Joined to the cross, it serves, as does the rose, as motto and arms for the practising knight having, by the grace of God, realized the Philosophical Stone. (Fulcanelli. 2/Les Demeures Philosophales. Ed. Pauvert. 1979. p. 19) In order for the rose to flourish on the cross, I would have to reveal and understand what had been hidden or occulted, follow the clues, plunge deep down into the source of knowledge inscribed at hand in this privileged context, pregnant enclosure of occult signs... and stone. And to realise the Philosophers Stone, to place the rose on the cross, I first had to seek within the elements (sero) and awaken the principle of movement (eros). I realised that in drawing a cross, and distributing the four letters of the word rose in each corner, a magical square was created. The sum of each horizontal or vertical theosophical addition being 21, symbolically represented by the two red lions at the castle entrance one semi-recumbent, female principle/ yin (2), and the other upright, male principle yang (1). Intuition (2) and Reason (1), the passive and active forces symbolising the anima and the animus, the two brain hemispheres (left 38

rational, right intuitive) seeking their respective expression at the heart of the same structure, dated 1882.

Reading clockwise around this square creates a cyclical effect that reinvokes the message inscribed in the Scott Arms with its moon - sun moon (pastpresent-future) descending from left to right. This is less an indication of the linear passage in time than that of a cyclical or spiral effect of time. Dawn, sunrise, dusk and sunset are only such when considered from a fixed point of view. The same applies to the ages of Man; all past, present and future are contained in one and the same instant. And just as our DNA contains information pertaining to so-called previous generations - lived in 'parallel' fashion and thereby simultaneously - so too do these previous generations continue to express themselves in the present through us into, and from the future: Time, space and perception are intimately intertwined. Science and physics have already lent credence to the 'theory' that time is not linear in nature as once thought. The mechanics of quantum physics present a solid argument for the curvature of time and the possibility of times coexisting in overlay formation...one sequence of events being superimposed over others and each functioning within their own coordinate pattern or frequency band. (Ashayana Deane, Voyagers. Volume I. Wild Flower Press. 2001. p.2) The above square contains a white cross within it, the centre of which like all crosses unites the four cardinal points: north east south west, which are nonetheless by definition supposed to denote four different directions. In the same way past, present and future lives could be symbolised by the spokes of a wheel, the multidimensional hub of which unites all spatial and temporal expressions

39

simultaneously in one immutable central spot: * Seven steps led down to the basement flat, which was part of the original kitchen. The seven steps of the neophyte! It was dank and dark and so small you could barely swing a top in it, let alone a cat. There were just two rooms and a tiny shower closet. I shivered while Liliane exclaimed how perfect it was and how it was exactly what I needed! Really? Oh well, if you insist! She must have seen something in it that escaped my attention. (A parallel world containing wondrous, untold riches that somehow escaped my consciousness?) My heart sunk a little deeper, but I took her word for it... and the flat! Liliane wasted no time returning to energetically 'clean' the flat by burning camphor and candles to accompany her ritual. The message had been right; she was quite feeble and was no longer in good health. This kind of operation was exhausting for her and when she staggered out ashen-faced and tumbled to the ground I knew what I had to do. I had already prepared a supply of water and I immediately started my healing work. When she had regained her senses she explained that there had been a death where my bathroom was now situated. Liliane had heard the culprit excusing himself, wailing that he hadnt intended to go that far. Liliane had previously devoted a whole afternoon passing all of my belongings through the pendulum test: keep or give away to Africa? Is this really necessary? I had asked myself, as I watched a lifetimes belongings falling beneath the self-appointed auctioneers hammer! Each book, each ounce of life with its associated memories, underwent the pendulum test right down to the last quantum. I was writhing around in a semi-distraught state, waving adieu to large chunks of my past. Virtually everything that I owned was, by now, jostling in some sea-faring container plying its passage to Sao Tom. Was this the price to pay for embarking upon the quest for self-knowledge and understanding? Apparently so. This particular exercise left me feeling (very nearly literally and) metaphorically speaking naked, and it left me feeling emotionally exhausted for several weeks to come. The landlord, Jean-Pierre, provided me with a bed and one of these oldfashioned (and damp!) lumpy mattresses, together with an assortment of dilapidated furniture, and I was able to move in. It was the 2nd. November 1997, the beginning of the Celtic year called Samhan. Read little, think much! Liliane said. Well, I didnt have much choice, having given away hundreds of books thanks to the assiduous and uncompromising application of her pendulums edicts. And within a matter of days Liliane had a message that I was to discover some stones. Hidden stones. But how would I know which stones, and where? No need to worry, she said, just keep your eyes open, thats all. Well, I could just about manage that. I noted all of this all down in my little pad, together with countless messages and various other fragments of information. And a few days later, I almost literally stumbled across a stone. A square inch of it was visible in the bank alongside a path next to the proprietors garden. I started 40

scraping around it and eventually went to fetch a spade to dig further. Three hours later, I telephoned Liliane excitedly. - No, no, she replied, reading her cards as she spoke. No, its not the right place; that stone indicates the position of an ancient Druidic cemetery. Youll find them near the river... Seven days after my arrival at the castle, I found myself in a visibly unfrequented sector of the park. It was overgrown with laurel palm trees that leapfrogged across the ground reproducing roots along the way and streams of brambles as impenetrable as any self-respecting jungle. In the midst of a thicket, I came across a massive, curvaceous stone that was later to assume the shape of a whale emerging from the depths. There was a ridge like a backbone engraved in the stone several feet in length. As I climbed up to view the surroundings, I became aware of two oaks trees, seemingly stranded in an ocean of nettles, brambles and wild grass inviting further research. I struggled my way towards them, cutting and stinging my arms along the way. As I reached them I discovered that they were perched upon a stone, like an eagle awaiting flight. A stone! Beyond was a glint of water the river! This was the beginning, the first of many discoveries. It was time to telephone Liliane again. She had said that I would find some stones and here they were; irrefutable proof of the validity of her predictions and of the existence not only of the invisible worlds but also of our continual liaison with the spiritual entities that occupied them! There was no other way that Liliane could have had prior knowledge of the existence of these stones in the clearing. No one could have imagined for a moment what had been lying hidden beneath their feet here for centuries. Who would have thought what was about to be revealed? Liliane. Yes, thats it! Youve found the place. These messages that continued to divulge further information regarding their location and their significance: Magical clearing. Deliberately formed on a lower level. Particularly active in springtime. Druids: priests et priestesses. Chanting vis--vis the sun.... An astronomic, divination and healing site (with) direct contact with the invisible worlds. The clearing emits as far as the chapel at Loc Maz. The 'Fountain of Youth' stone and the smaller 'Youth Stone'... No place for huntsmen. Specific celebration at the Summer Solstice related to the Milky Way: a great priestess... Stones in the river... An area linked to the Cosmos...Site more powerful than a cathedral.... Survivors from Atlantis were here... Some of the stones are hot. All the elements are given. Love Clearing. In no time Liliane arrived to inspect the discoveries. The moment she saw the whale, she burst into tears. -Its the 'Wivvers Back', she exclaimed. I never thought Id see that in my lifetime. She explained that it was an indication of the presence of powerful, Cosmo-telluric magnetic energy common to all ancient initiation sites. In 41

the Middle Ages, such lines were said to be inhabited by Natures Spirits, the Worlds soul or anima mundi. The presence of powerful telluric energy was often symbolised by dragons and serpents - the vouivre for the Celt. Sometimes it was referred to as being a kind of fairy-dragon that rendered the earth more dynamic, attracting and nourishing the forces of nature, the elementals. Correspondingly, the symbolic presence of eagles or of stags, (for example, the deer that is featured on the Scott Family arms), was an indication of solar, cosmic energies by these animals that represented emissaries from above. In other cultures, the deer indicates shamanism. Telluric work is employed in China with extreme precision, going as far as modelling entire country-sides in accordance with the Dragons Veins, both of which the Pa-Koua Magic and the Yi-Jing are expressions. Greek tradition and its cult of Dionysus (Shivas twin brother), Egypt, that managed to manipulate telluric forces by those amazing machines known as the pyramids, the Celt with their standing stones, terrestrial acupuncture and magical places? What can we say about the pre-Colombian civilisations, the Incas, The Chinese, the Olmecs, Toltecs, Maya, Aztec with their temples, their pyramids... The Wivver, the serpent, the snake, the dragon are present in all of these sacred places, tamed by the adepts in the interests of therapy and knowledge. (Pierre Manourey. Encyclopdie de chamanisme. Ed. TrajectoirE. 2006. p. 129) Wivver comes from the Latin vipera, the viper or serpent (guivre), but also from the Latin word vivere to live. The Wivvers back marks the presence of a particularly strong telluric energy current or life-line. Just as concentrated energy travels along meridian lines within the human body, the Wivvers back indicates the passage of energy along their terrestrial counterparts. And it is in these highly charged, sacred places, where magnetic telluric energy meets cosmic energy, that the manifestation of intuition becomes particularly propitious. It is mediumnity that shall draw you together. The Wivver shall speak to you. You (Liliane) are going to leave soon, to rejoin your love. Myriam is going to fly! Shes going to take a giants step. None of you suspect whats awaiting you because, for the three of you, (John, Adrne and Myriam), the path is beautiful and luminous. You (John) are proud of your discoveries and every time you can hardly wait for the Young One, to show her. She has taught you about the wivver. Shell show you all the healing areas. (Notebook. November 1997) I started to work every day in the clearing. First of all I cleared away tons of brambles, and laurel palm. I then set out on a journey that would last several years to discover the stones. Literally 'dis-cover'! I realised that by working deeper and deeper under the Earths surface I was delving into my own murky depths: Visita Interiora Terrae Rectificando Invenies Occultum Lapidem Veram Medicinam, or literally speaking: Visit Earths interior parts and through rectification find the hidden (philosophers) healing stone. Man knoweth thyself, in a nutshell. As with the stones then, first of all I had to clear my way around before beginning to dig 42

deeper in order to reveal the stones and put a new light on the situation. I was surprised to note that, regardless of the depth, sunlight invariably managed to pierce through the surrounding trees at some point in the day to greet the stones, which were sometimes located more than a yard beneath the earths surface. At different times of the day the sun also lit up the hamadryad inside an enormous, hollow, sempiternal oak that assumed the role of the clearings Guardian. A hamadryad grows inside the tree; a dryad on the trees outer surface. In Greek and Roman mythology it refers to a nymph who lives in a tree and dies when the tree dies. In fact, the hamadryad contains all of the information and memories pertaining to the tree and to historical and contextual events that it has witnessed; a kind of organic computer!. It's not for nothing that you may experience a sense of awe in the presence of a 'wise old oak tree; ''druid' being the proto-celtic word; for 'oak-knower'! Dryad stands for Druidess. It was as though with the discovery of each stone, a layer of the veiled ignorance that slumbered within me was brought to light. This didnt stop me from frequently asking myself : What are you doing here? What are all of these stones here for? Whats the purpose of it all? I had already had some answer from Liliane, one of which dated back to the times of Attila: You were once a Chief under Attila. You destroyed everything. You tore down stones... I weighed up these words with the weight of each spade-full of the past. I had the impression that it was I who had buried these stones during another epoch. According to Liliane, and later on Ghislaine and Ladanum, I had been there at their inception. Why else would I have come to rediscover them today? I was tempted to say obviously and so what. How had I been drawn to this precise place? And, once there, why begin to dig so far and so deep into my energetic and physical resources in search of these stones lost beneath the earth? I couldnt prove in a scientifically valid manner that I had already been here thousands of years before. But then, neither could a scientist prove the contrary... nor anyone else for that matter! But I could prove that someone - who up until then was unknown to me, someone who, like countless others for hundreds of years had no idea that the stones were there was able to inform me of their presence and predict their discovery, solely due to messages received from the invisible worlds via her mediumistic capacities, moreover, with live witnesses to boot! So, the invisible worlds exist... until proof to the contrary! Who could seriously claim that we only live life once, and thats all? That would mean confusing the temporal passage of the human body with that of the soul that inhabits it, driving a bit further towards perfection, a bit nearer to the place where all shade gives way to luminosity, where all veils recede to reveal things in their true light. But first theres work to be done on the organisation of emotions, deeds and thoughts. And although our thoughts are invisible, despite appearances (sic) they are correspondingly more significant in their impact upon life. Our cells hear everything that we think and say and they adapt themselves accordingly. Each cell has its own intelligence and takes into consideration each and every influence. They are the guardians of our memory, stocking each iota of experience deep within us for 43

future reference. And sooner or later, shades of the past resurface to expose themselves to the light of day. Nothing is lost. Nothing disappears forever. Like these buried stones beneath the clearing. I wouldnt say that I was really happy all of this time. But despite periodic lulls in enthusiasm, little by little I began to get my teeth into things. I became increasingly 'active' instead of simply enduring things, instead of continuing with interminable (and almost reassuring by their familiarity!) plaints: - Why am I here?; - Why cant I be happy like everyone else? I had a tendency to presume, (thereby deciding on behalf of others without consulting them), that they were happy. It was a convenient way for me sympathize with and to justify my own sorry state. And I probably wasnt the only one, was I? But this is all too easy: to take others as hostages to justify our own predicament. There was really no excuse for it, particularly as my previous experience of working in socio-educative contexts had taught me that the majority of people were everything but happy with their lives. At times I had the experience of living a profound communion with the surrounding elements, a feeling of ephemeral unification that seemed to hark back to some distant past in which everyone lived each instant as if it were part of an integral 'whole' devoid of exclusion. The other times when I asked myself: - Why am I here? I implicitly presupposed a separation between myself and the underlying unity of all things. Every one of us harbours the notion of paradise; everyone wants to be loved. Everyone. The Collective Consciousness or common memory of this lost paradise is testimony to this underlying unity. A unity less broken than simply occulted by the overpowering presence of the egos fears that are alimented by its unquenchable appetite for auto-satisfaction leading to frustration, separation and a sense of incompleteness. And more fear... Is this our lot? Not definitively. A long time ago we were destined to be Gods, or 'Divine Humans', who came to Earth and progressively materialised from a more etheric state before deciding at one point to play around with this concept called duality. We had to separate ourselves from Unity and from our Godliness in order to experiment all of the possibilities that duality/polarity could provide. We became so engrossed with playing this role that, eventually, we became the part, losing sight of our origins and of our more expansive, original 'creator' role thereby eventually finding ourselves accepting a more limited sphere of action and comprehension. We forgot that we were also the so-called author and producer of the play not just a one-role actor! Of course, as you may well imagine were helped to do this by some far from philanthropic occult forces that, even today (N.B. in 2009), are trying desperately hard to keep us from recognizing our own inherent, fundamental divinity. The trouble is that, having strayed so far from the memory and tacit awareness of universal consciousness for so many centuries, there is now a tendency to consider ourselves as being independent of others right from the start. To identify ourselves in terms of our 'differences', instead of recognizing and reconnecting to the underlying unification of all things. The classical scientific approach to life... Worlds apart! It was at times like this in the clearing that I reconnected with Nature and 44

Earths frequencies. This is what occurs during a healing session. The healer becomes connected to the Earths resonance and then relays its unifying influence to the person (or people) in question. This is the harmonic interchange that coexists between stones, trees, rivers, birds, earth...and us! Timelessness: a world away from the unreal, so-called reality of illusion. Youll find a tree among your stones, its a healing tree. You need to clear away as far as the river, including around the two trees and the healing stone. All you need leave is some grass, a few flowers but no big bushes. (William Walter Scott. November 1997) The Cosmic Tree, the 'axis mundi', the link between Heaven and Earth and the healing philosophers stone'... Work in the clearing became the pursuit of the Occultum Lapidem Veram Medicinam, the hidden philosophers stone, true healing source, a search for the Love that lies hidden within, around, above and behind all of the appearances and social conventions of this character that we inhabit. For, as Paul Sdir said: The essential characteristic of the human being is not the faculty to understanding, but the faculty to love. (Paul Sdir. Les Amitis Spirituelles. Bibliothque des Amitis Spirituelles.)

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6 Multidimensional synchronicities
As soon as Jean-Pierre realised that I was a healer, he took me around in his car showing me various properties that he owned and offered to lend me the one of my choice for as long as it took for me to settle in. At Lanorven there was an old cottage next to a chapel and a nearby source with its ancient lavoir, an ancient public wash-tub. Opposite were the derelict remains of a blacksmiths workshop and stables. An external stairway of stone steps behind the cottage provided access to the first floor. I cleared away (more!) nettles and brambles, and painted the window shutters in Breton blue, and the 'Blue Windows' was born. I later discovered the foundations and remaining ruins of the former monastery, or 'lann'. Lanorven was named after 'Owen', a priest of Welsh origin: Orvens monastery. Jean-Marc was the first person to come for healing at the 'Blue Windows', on the 18 . February, 1998; my maternal grand-father was born on the 18th. February 1890. John Stears father died on the 2nd. November 1881 at Saumur. I moved into the castle on the 2nd. November 1997 and a subsequent (all-important) letter of resignation to the Intersidereal Federation of Sibylline Energetic Tsars, was dated the 2nd. November 2006.
th

In the year 2001, I created an Association called Heson Oabl Ha Douar (Harmony, Heaven and Earth) and the official conformation letter from the prefecture of police was dated the 16th July 2001. My father, Scottie, was born on the 16th July 1912. In 2007, I modified the associations name from Heson Oabl Ha Douar to the French equivalent of Harmonie, Ciel et Terre and the relevant official receipt arrived on the 16th January 2007. The 16th January 1888 was the date upon which John Stears died. Still in 2007, a few details were lacking in order to confirm the modification of the associations 'objective'. The Departmental Police Headquarters reply was dated the 23rd February - my birth date. As some signatures were missing on my original demand for the change in the associations object, a second receipt was returned on the 23rd February, the receipt of the initially incomplete modifications having been dated the 6th January 2007. So, what was the significance of this date? Batrice Isabelle Stears, - the eldest daughter of John Stears and the only one of his four children who survived long enough to ensure the family lineage by marrying Stephen Malpeste, a descendant of Joan of Arc, - was born on the 6th January1872. And what of Joan of Arc? Was she not born, also, on the 6th January in 1412, some 500 years before Scottie? The evolution of linear time, like that of this association, was punctuated by a series births and deaths followed by renaissances. Double birth of Scottie and of the Breton named association Heson (He, son Scotties son, John) on the 16th July. Renaissance of the association now named Harmony, and death of John Stears, both on the 16th January. Coupled with the twin birth of the associations new 47

objective together with that of its subject, John Scott, on the 23rd February. Confirmation of the associations various modifications en route subject and object; form and content juxtaposed by the twin birth on the 6th January of Joan of Arc and of Batrice Stears. John, too, is a twin. From Scotties date of birth (the 16th July), and the decease of John Stears, (six months apart, on the 16th January), to the renaissance, the reincarnation, the same soul is exposed in a new form on the same date of birth as John Scott the 23rd February! The association kept the same soul then, while modifying its original name from H E S O N, the letters of which marry together harmoniously. The square H, symbol of the Earth, evoking at the same time the cyclical passage of time through the initials (in French) of the four cardinal points: E (east/est); S (south/sud); O (west/ouest); and N (north/north): H-eson. John Stears left the castle at the age of 46; John Scott arrived at the age of 47... One day, a psychic called Marie-Thrse came to the 'Blue Windows'. During the healing session, her great-grandfather manifested himself to her, as he often did on such occasions. He told her: - Ah, I see that the Englishman is back! After the session she was perplexed at first and then she asked me where I lived. When I explained that I lived at Leuhan Castle she immediately understood. Her greatgrandfather had been the Head gardener there in John Stears day. He had recognized me! I asked her if she had ever lived in England. Yes, she replied; her first job had been in south-west England. Mine too. - Whereabouts in south-west England? In Devon? Me too. But whereabouts exactly in Devon? In a small village called Shebbear, she answered. My first job was as a teacher in Buckland House School is also located in Shebbear parish! Several years earlier her personal psychic had predicted that a healer called Scott would treat both her and her son... Simple coincidences? Shortly afterwards, I was talking with Marie-Thrse on the telephone when somebody came to knock at her door. - That must be Gerald Schwarneck. Gerald was the father of Rose Matehs son, with whom I had lived and worked with at Presles-en-Brie! What a small world, you might say. Marie-Thrse explained that during the Second World War a fighter pilot had crash-landed in her garden. And the pilots name was, of course, Scott... Synchronicity is the occurrence of two events that have no apparent causal link, but which their association assumes significance for the person experiencing them. To a certain extent, not to believe in synchronicity is to deny credence to ones own intuition. What is known as hazard is quite simply something or an event that cannot be scientifically, logically or rationally explained at the time of its occurrence. But then, where does hazard come from? What is the rational origin of hazard and of coincidence? For all phenomena in a so-called rational world would require a coherent and logical explanation. Or does this mean that there are two realities. On the one hand, a reality that is self-explanatory and which is governed by logical and rational terms, and on the other hand, another world that, despite demonstrating irrefutable proofs of its existence, remains non-existent in the eyes and words of our so-called rationalists. A world that remains for them, inexplicable, unreal and...nonexistent? 48

The only rational explanation for paranormal phenomena lies in the proof of its existence. And this proof was forthcoming in a series of situations that I was privileged to witness. Firstly, there was a situation concerning two individual psychics, unknown to one another and one of whom I had never previously met, that provided a coherent and logical link between myself and my (by that time) deceased father Scottie. In 2002 my good friend Laetitia discovered that she had psychic capacities. She could transcribe messages from the invisible worlds onto her computer with her eyes closed in answer to questions. I invited her round to the castle and she noticed a photograph of Scottie on my desk. I explained that Scottie had never been able to express openly his love for us children during his lifetime. Suddenly, Laetitia began typing furiously on the computer keyboard: - Yes thats right. But Im working on it now! exclaimed Scottie! Seven years later in October 2006, I met Marie-Christine at the Plabennec dojo for the first and only time that she took part in one of my qi gong groups. At the end of the evening she remained chatting for a couple of hours. She mentioned that recently she had become aware of psychic capacities that she was beginning to develop. As she regained her car she was contacted by a certain Scottie who insisted upon the importance of contacting me with a message. The following day she telephoned me more than a little perplexed by Scotties insistence, for as far as she was concerned the content of his message was perfectly normal coming from a father to his son. The message was short and succinct, but it spoke long: - I love you! On the 7th October 2007, two psychics - Nathalie and Alette - came to the castle to meet me and to rectify something that had occurred in the clearing during the Middle Ages. They recounted that at this time I had been a Druid there and that they had been my sons. According to them, Alette had given away one of my spells to the Forces of darkness. A restoration ritual was duly performed together in the clearing. Today, Nathalie and Alette are authors of a book recounting this and other missions undertaken throughout France. In other words, here we have three people John, Nathalie and Alette who have known one another in the same place - in the clearing - at two different epochs, in the 3rd and 21st centuries. Furthermore, they have written quite independently two narratives of distinct orientation - 'AmO...' and 'Deux.' - relating to exactly the same people for completely different reasons in exactly the same place. The Medical Council does not officially recognize the existence of bioenergetic healing, (N.B. human or animal magnetism), a practice nonetheless that has been employed since the beginning of time. A cursory glance at many an Egyptian figure is enough to reveal the illustrated allusion to magnetic passes. At best, the Medical Council concedes that it provides an indication of the presence of the placebo effect. Does this mean that we can conclude that the placebo effect concerns only alternative medicine and not allopathic medical practice? And if so, by which implicit and infinite means does the placebo effect intervene solely where alternative medicine is concerned? Does the placebo effect spontaneously abstain in the 49

presence of allopathic medicine, refusing to thus influence their results? And if so, how can this be demonstrated in a logically acceptable rational manner? If a psychic predicts that you will fall over and break your leg next Tuesday, and this duly occurs, this will be interpreted as being due to hazard or purely coincidental for the scientifically inclined. However, if science postulates that it is going to rain next Tuesday, and it does, this is then interpreted as being scientific meteorological proof! The scientific principal whereby the truth is sought by examining what differentiates one thing from another is paradoxical to say the least. How can one hope to establish a comprehensive and unified vision of the World by basing ones investigations upon the pursuit of difference? There appears to be a fundamental reticence by official scientific investigation to accept the notion of an underlying, allpowerful Force or Spirit to all phenomena. Leibniz wrote: Reality cannot be found except in One single source, because of the interconnection of all things with one another. Furthermore: Anyone seriously engaged in scientific research acquires the conviction that a Spirit manifests itself in the Laws of the Universe a Spirit that is incommensurately superior to that of Man. (Albert Einstein. 1936) The very act of questioning the existence of this supernatural intelligence God, for example implicitly implies the underlying presence of this intelligence. For it is only this very source of intelligence that renders it being called into question possible! Where does the thought impulsion that precedes the statement God does not exist come from? Behind the assertion of the non-existence of this supreme intelligence lies the existence of the notion of this supreme intelligence without which such thoughts could not be expressed. Implacable logic! For what else is the logical explanation for the atoms dance or the joyful games of luminous beams? Whether it involves studies establishing the possibility for several atoms to coexist in exactly the same place at the same time without colliding, or whether...(...) tele-transmission of a beam of light (dismantled then subsequently reconstituting the beam in another place), or the twin photon phenomenon (two unities of light created from the same source) each one adapting identical behaviour despite being separated by several miles, the last few years of the Twentieth Century has shown that the very foundation of our perception of the world has been subject to spectacular transformation. (Gregg Braden Le Code de Dieu. Ed. Ariane. 2004. p. 203-4) And just as several atoms can coexist in the same place simultaneously, so too does time, which is conventionally presented as passing from 'past' through 'present' to the 'future' in a linear fashion: Time exists as a Unified Field of particles pulsating at various rhythms and spinning on various angles of rotation, through which the illusions of manifest 50

space and linear time appear to individual identities, as they bring segments of the Unified Field of particle substance into view by moving their consciousness through portions of the Unified Field. Time does not move. Consciousness moves itself through the Unified Field of the Time Matrix. (Ashayana Deane,Voyagers. Volume II. Wild Flower Press. 2000 pp. 147-8) In other words: Movement through time is frequency accretion. The manifest illusion you perceive before your eyes is, in reality, a Unified Field of frequency composed of energy particle substance in the form of digital, electro-tonal thought patterns. Everything and person outside of yourself, including your own body, and the contents of your conscious mind at that moment point, exist as energy imprints within the Unified Field of that now-moment. (Op;cit. p. 152) The present manifest moment consists , and is composed of, the thoughtforms of our past and future selves, together with the thought-form that we currently hold. (Well, it's just a thought!). Our point of view depends, precisely, upon our... point of view. For example, viewed from one aspect, an unsharpened pencil assumes the form of a circle. Viewed sideways, it is an elongated rectangle. And viewed from a different perspective again, it is seen to be a tubular, three-dimensional structure. All of these points of view are correct in themselves. But here, as in scientific research, we are limiting ourselves to information gleaned by our five senses whereas there are other ways of understanding our world, (with the potential use of seven additional senses...but that's another story:). The essential characteristic of the human being is not the faculty to understanding, but the faculty to love. Love acts within us before Intelligence. To consciously understand something, we must first unconsciously love this thing... Everything in the Universe is Love. Everything is born out of Love; everything returns to Love, following innumerable vicissitudes amidst the realms of Hatred. The struggle for life is essential Loves school. Beings pass from an initial state of ignorant bliss to a definitive state of beatitude, conscious and omnipresent, thanks to multiple workings the combined sum of which constitutes universal life and individual existences. All of this takes place on this small terrestrial sphere, and also why ever not? on millions of other planets that astronomers have not yet compiled the complete catalogue. (Paul Sdir. Les Amitis Spirituelles. Bibliothque des Amitis Spirituelles.) It is quite possible that we do not have the impression of being in love at each instant; but Love is in us, whether we like it or not! Such words speak to our soul; to live these words universal love, pardon, and so on constitutes the work of our incarnated personality. The truth lies (sic!) in all things, and not in differentiation. Unity as opposed to (but including!) disparity. Love without disdain. Unity of all things without which the notion of Truth disintegrates for want of a certain number of these all things and remaining incapable of representing absolute truth. Nothing can be called Truth unless nothing is excluded. In other words, nothing 51

exists unless it includes, implicitly, its opposite. (Heads and tails!) They are at once intimately linked, mutually exclusive and interdependent. Like in the Tao; the feminine and masculine principles, the yin and the yang, nourish one another as they are complementary polarities of the same energy. While convention has it to call yang positive energy, and yin negative energy, there is a temptation to overlook the third, neutral energy that underlines them both and which is represented by the two eyes and the line that separates (or rather: unites!) the two polarities. The same applies to the 'real' world in the definition of a countrys land or sea frontier or boundaries. The closer we look into this question the more impossible it becomes to determine. Which wave belongs where? Or which grain of sand determines the end of France and the beginning of Spain on this Basque beech? (But of course; it belongs to the Basques!) It is impossible to define precisely the frontier, a line that is supposed indicate the point of difference between one nation and another. 'Separations' or differentiation remain completely arbitrary. Millions of water-drops constitute the same ocean. In the same way, millions of snowflakes contribute to a snowstorm each flake with its own specificity, a different expression of the same thing. Each drop and flake representing a specific energetic spectre or point of view of what is collectively our common reality - the world. And as water functions like a magnetic band, capable of electromagnetically stocking 'information' from dissolved molecules as waters memory, it provides another example of unity among all things. There are no barriers between one water drop and another, each one, like our bodily cells, containing all of the others information. On the other hand, if we accept the premise that 'nothing' is due to hazard, we can hope to advance towards the comprehension the non-exclusive All of unified consciousness. And if at times we have the impression of being just a tiny little spot in an immense Whole, this is simply our ego feeling sorry for itself again. But our ego is simply the means to (but not) an end in itself. The I with which I express myself is common to us all, and re-joins all of the other 'I's in the world. Like the water-drops or these words of Rimbaud: I is someone else (Je est un autre.) I am conscious of my body because I have become, myself, the body: this same force of the conscious being which has created its own form, this representation. I can only know what is myself; if I know others, it is because they too are myself, because my being has assumed their apparently strange representations as well as the one that is closest to my mental centre. All sensation, all sentient act is also the same in essence, be it external or internal, physical or psychic. (Sri Aurobindo) Liliane had moved on to another dimension, leaving me a bit like a fish out of water. No more messages left me facing an ocean of uncertainty. Myriam mentioned a psychic woman in Coat Meal called Corinne who received 'flashes'. I went to see her. Corinne knew nothing about me, not even where I lived. You are going to go to a place where theres lots of granite. You are like one of these dressers with lots of drawers that we open; every time you discover

52

something, everyone benefits... (Corinne. The 30 July 1998.) Well, you didn't need to be psychic to know that, because the castle was a granite construction and there were plenty of stones in the clearing! But then Corinne was unaware that I lived at Leuhan Castle. So was this a premonition regarding the subsequent discoveries that were to be made in the clearing, combined with the value of their released energies to the benefit of all? A cohabitant of the castle, Florence Pinvidec, related a dream in which she met me in the tower which was upside down in the dream, (in other words underground), carrying a big sac in my hands. - What are you doing with that? she asked me. - Im filling it up with as much happiness as possible, before going on up to distribute it.... Corinne continued : There are some people who want to make life awkward for you... John has two characters; he gives a lot; hes a bear! There is someone else called John in your family. Another John. Youve carried your cross to Brittany. (Corinne. The 30th. July 1998.) It took me some time to understand this story of two Johns in the family. I looked in the genealogical trees of both the Scott and Palmer families. Nothing. Perhaps she referred to the link between John Stears and John Scott, on a soul level? And then I remembered that John Stears father was also called John Stears. I had noted down Corinnes observations, which continued: ...Druid. I can see someone...I dont understand...like a druid standing on a rock... A rounded stone, with a druid with a druid upon it. I had a habit of standing on the rounded Wivvers back each time that I went down to the clearing. First Liliane, then others after her, told me that I had rediscovered my place of old. And in October 2007, Nathalie and Alette were to speak of the time when I had been a druid in the clearing... You have already been to Brittany before; wooden fortifications. Strange swords Middle Ages. Epidemic and famine. The English came this far. You were half soldier, half brigand. Wound, battle scar... Foggy area, surrounding forest. Confrontations... Since my arrival at the castle a scar had appeared on my forehead that was not due to any incident in this life. There had been encampments in the castle grounds in the distant past and no doubt skirmishes with opposing forces based at Lesquelen, barely two kilometres away. And then there was this reference to the English. Mere coincidence? But coincidences do not exist, do they? Corinnes husband had mentioned the existence of three extra-ordinary healers; Hector Durville and his two sons, Henri and Gaston (who had been also a general medical practitioner), although according to him their publications were hard 53

to come by. As Liliane had told me not to read or to meet other healers, I merely made a note of their name. They had become references for bio-energetic healing (as it is sometimes known) since their time in the late 19th and early 20th Century. Three years later in 2001, I was due to fly to England the afternoon of my birthday. I decided to call into Dialogues in Brest in the morning to see if I could find some interesting reading to take with me. Descending the internal stairway I discovered to my surprise a display in honour of the Durville trio, with numerous reproductions of their works. In reading these birthday presents, I was reassured to discover that many of the movements that I had spontaneously adopted complied with those of the Durville, as if their knowledge had somehow been directly impregnated in me. Maybe I wasnt so alone after all...

54

KEBIR.

7 True healing - AmO...

Vitrolium: Visita interiora terrae rectificiandoque invenies occultum lapidum viram medicinam. Visit the interior of the earth, and by rectifying yourself you will find the hidden stone which is the true medicine. Explore your inner depths (the subconscious, together with the collective unconscious) within the earth (Man's physicality) to discover your lost soul, which can then be transmuted and rectified into your true, divine nature. In the beginning, Spirit descended into Matter; now it is question of spiritualising matter to enable it ascend and re-join its divine Nature. A process akin to that of 'Ascension' which, paradoxically, is equally a question of descending out of the head and into the heart!

55

Plunging down to the depths to explore the dark, murky areas hidden beneath. Descent into earths nether regions to shed light on unresolved primeval influences. Light springs from the depths of darkness, as Liliane had said. It took me a while to draw a parallel between digging in the clearing and delving into my own depths. I began to make associations between the carved stone, the castles statues and gargoyles, and work around the stones in the clearing. I remembered Lilianes advice: Read little, think much! Try and understand the meaning of the various allegories and compare them. Its up to you to decipher the mysteries. No one else can inform you... The book of life is to be found in Nature. Look and listen. Open your heart and your soul and you will understand. (The 5th November 1997) Allegories? As in the magnificent stone carving of the dog, whose collar indicated his name: KEBIR. Kebir? The owner told me that hed once had a donkey called Kebir. Yes, but this was a dog, a greyhound. Greyhound translates as a lvrier in French and in the 'langue des oiseaux' (the 'language of the birds') it conceals: lOeuvre y est! the alchemical Great Work is here! In Melancolia, Albrecht Drer features a greyhound in between a sphere, the symbol of Divine perfection and an imperfect polyhedron representing the petrifaction of the Verb. A greyhound also features on the magnificent tomb of Franois II at Nantes cathedral, sculptured in white marble: ...the greyhound is the emblem that represents the- Messengers waiting and the promise of achievement in times to come; it is the intercessor between Heaven and Earth, that smuggles across invisible and visible frontiers, between the eternal beyond the realms of human dimensions and the ephemeral history of deeds, that increasingly become misdeeds and un-doings, where Reason sinks. (Lima de Freitas. 515 Le Lieu du Mirror. Ed. Albin Michel. 1993 p. 208) Indeed, signs of the Great Work are to be found here. Mans quest for individuation involving the transformation of primal matter, impure man, into its purest form. Here, right before my eyes! Like the Sphinx at Cheops, the guardian of the underground passages that lead to the Initiation Temple, Kebir imposes itself as the guardian of this unusual castles mysteries. A statue carved out of one solid block of granite; the realisation of the squaring of the circle? Built like the castle itself in accordance with the golden ratio. The noble greyhounds head, with a dragons body, lions claws and eagles wings fire, water, earth, air: Knowledge; Will; Dare; Be Silent. Henri Durville wrote that the head represented human intelligence and Knowledge; the thighs and peaceful chest: Will; The lions claws spoke of force: to Dare; and the un-deployed eagle's wings referred to the non-divulged secret that they obscured: Be silent. Knowledge/Justice; Will/Temperance; Dare/Force; and Be Silent/Prudence. Here was a symbolic representation the four elements and 56

cardinal points, assembled by the golden mean in one configuration. A truly great work in itself! I was living under ground in the castle too at this time. The ground level was situated at the same height as my solar plexus. So, here I was, visiting earth on a daily basis, burrowing myself into the ground in the search for the hidden sun buried within my depths, only to return at night to the similar depths beneath the shade of the castles parapets. In order to reach many of the stones foundations in the clearing, I had to dig to the same depth before the sun arrived to glisten in the water between my feet. Like the fire glimmering red in the depths of the alchemists still. The plexus solar is situated between head and feet, Man between Heaven and Earth. Here I was, arrived at the zone of rectification, at the heart of the matter, in all senses of the term. I was delving into the realms of my ancestors, too, going deeper and deeper into myself. Working on my past, in the present, for the future. You are an Atlantis who has returned to help your brother combat violence. This is the way that you will re-join us and in which your capacities shall develop. One day in the clearing, you will open your eyes and you will communicate with us. You can obtain in this incarnation what the Young One already possesses, for everything is within you. She is there to show you what you are capable of realising. But it will be your choice. What are you defending yourself against? If not yourself! In Atlantis, you chose power and manipulation having first worked in Love. Now you have returned and can once again influence others. Work in Love and non-violence. You are struggling against yourself. (Message from William Walter Scott in 1997.) I first came across Atlantis, (which some claim to have sunk into the Atlantic Ocean in 28 000 B.C. following an Atlantis holocaust, before the remnants finally disappeared due to flooding in 9 558 B.C.), in my early years of tentative research in Orleans. The stones in the clearing, too, appeared to have been beneath the sea at one point, for when I dug four or five feet beneath the surface in an attempt to reach some of their foundations, I came across sand and clay beneath the soil and stones and I smelt the distinctive odour of seaweed, of iodine. Liliane had said that I would reach the sea in the clearing. This site was DELIBERATELY BURIED: it is the bearer of considerable KNOWLEDGE. You need to ask permission before digging further. Get in touch with the spirits in place and ask them what needs to be transmitted. (Ghislaine, on the 12th December 2000.) Layers of compressed grass protected the larger stones, followed by a series of stones compacted together and increasing in size, the further they became from the stone. It was as though they had been deliberately protected against the eventual arrival of the sea at this point. Megalithic mummification? Just like the Sphinx, which also exhibits distinct signs of sea erosion. But why protect the stones? And 57

who was responsible? Me, no doubt! If only to be able to provide the subsequent, irrevocable proof of reincarnation by dint of their rediscovery! But in particular, to ensure that these stones could once again emit their powerful, positive energy for the benefit of all. For all of this only became possible through a series of unprecedented circumstances. Unprecedented circumstances in terms of the means whereby I first came to be aware of their existence as such existence in an as yet unspecified location by the bias of messages from the invisible worlds. These messages came in 'real time', be it accompanied by Tarot Card readings, direct interception, or by spontaneous 'flashes'. And some of these messages were to be witnessed, and subsequently verified, by people who had been hitherto disinterested witnesses, not to say sceptical! They were also unprecedented circumstances as far as the discovery of the artefacts themselves was concerned. I was a healer. Hundreds of people can confirm the utility and efficacy of this practice. The stones in the clearing are there for all to see, in granite and quartz, visible and tangible proof of their existence! But they had to be sought out. I had had to find them myself, just as I was driven to find myself. I had to dig deep, using all my force and deepest resources to bring them to the light of day. In addition, the actualization of the predictions was unprecedented inasmuch as it involved close collaboration with the spirits of the clearing. Reconnecting respectfully with the ancestors that inhabited the clearing and thereby reactivating its healing and mediumistic facilities. Each day, I went down to the clearing spade in hand to answer the call to remount time as far as the layers of fine sand and ancestral clay of Mans origins. (Or at least, of my origins!) Balancing the weight of experience contained in each spadefull of past time in this pass-time heavy with implications as yet unfathomed by me. Weighing up the symbolic significations of the winged dogs at ground level, and those of the bird (Hades), Mother Earth (Gaia), and Neptune (Poseidon; Atlantis), that adorned the castle tower. Poseidon and Atlantis, allegorical relays of the aquatic forms of the stones whales, dolphins, seals that emerged from the depths of the clearing. They were allegories, too, of the four elements: water, air, earth and fire. The undulating forms of the stones in the clearing represent the precursors of their nautical and aeronautic counterparts in contemporary submarine, marine and aero-spatial design. I was literally remounting the weight of time, of past time, to the surface of this earths era water and air in the heat of action! I appeared to be digging into the future! My astrological sign is Pisces, with an ascendant Virgo. According to Fulcanelli (2/Les Demeures Philosophales. p. 259), the mermaid is a fabulous monster and hermetic symbol that serves to characterize the union between nascent sulphur the fish ('poisson' in French, which is our Pisces), and common mercury, (Virgo). In other words, the alchemical process of the Great Work itself. So, this Pisces ascendant Virgo went on to read under the rubric Mermaid: mermaid, ondine (which are water goddesses, in Nordic mythology), melusine (a lunar mermaid), and vouivre (Wivver): We must recall that...the axe Virgo/Pisces in traditional astrology forms an axis of the mutable signs Earth and Water, which preside over all transformations and 58

which crosses perpendicularly with the other mutable sign axis of SagittariusFire/Gemini-Air. Virgo and Gemini, each with their own respective distinctions, are dominated by Mercury whereas Sagittarius and Pisces are by Jupiter...each one of them comprise a double-sign Pisces and Gemini, and a double-sign of human and animal nature, the centaur for Sagittarius with its human chest and its horses body...the mermaid Virgo with its fishes body... (Michel Cazenave. Encyclopdie de Symboles. Ed. Pochotque. 1989. p. 635) I thought again of 'Kebir', the castle's corner stone with its four constituent elements, its organic bust and the aquatic dragons tail... ...And is found, united on this cross of a mercurial nature, Jupiters royalty, the duality of principals and the four elements which compose the Universe, subject to incessant metamorphosis. All the more so because from Pisces and Virgo, we go from a double fish to a woman-fish, whilst from Sagittarius to Gemini, we go from a man-horse to a double-man. As if the journey to be accomplished involved leads from sea-animal (from the mother and the subconscious), to aeroman (of consciousness and spirit) by way of the intermediary stage to which we must first accede before being able to extricate ourselves... (Op. Cit. p. 635) Liliane had summarised the alchemical Great Work by reducing it to four major stages putrefaction (black; nigredo), purification (White; albino), spiritualisation (yellow; citrinitus) and the unification of Man with his divinity (red; rubido). Matter is relieved of all of its impurities in the black stage. During the white stage, base metal is transmuted into silver (the Moon). In the yellow stage, matter becomes enlightened or spiritual (the Sun). And finally, in the red stage, mercury is transmuted into gold: In the image of alchemical work to which it corresponds so profoundly, we note how these two axis and the two hybrids that they comport, evoke the stages in the transformation of matter which in turn leads to the cosmic unity of the Work that is to say, in the psychic transposition of symbols to the unity of Self. (Op. Cit. p. 635) No respite without rectification! There is a price to pay for the human condition, a price to pay in order to change ones human condition, if indeed it were to remain human: ...in order to transform ones animality (materia prima) and to accede in this way to full existence and verticality: emerge from the great sea that is the Unconscious, ones feet firmly on the ground keeping the head turned towards Heaven. (Op. Cit. p. 636) For the time being, I was going to have to content myself with paddling around, my feet resolutely submerged under water, sunk in a sea of chthonian mud 59

and clay. More a case of bent double than vertical! At the end of each day, I emerged from the depths and made my way back up to my cell drenched in perspiration, famished and riddled with aches and pains. Once started, I never stopped. Why? I had no idea what motivated me. I was not there under duress or against my will. Nothing and nobody forced me to exhaust myself in this way. And yet, I had no fixed plan in my head. No strategy. For the greater part of the time I was in pure action, like when you are running, cycling or swimming in the sea. You just let yourself go with the flow, without a thought in mind, while at the same time returning to yourself... Internalising on a different plane. The frontier between the self and its surroundings becomes less distinct. You see how the teaching is good. It consists in emptying your head and filling your heart with love. And you need books for that? Youll never come to anything unless you learn how to empty your head. (Liliane, the 15th. October 1997.) Its at moments like this that you can hear a bird singing without consciously saying to yourself: Oh, its a bird!...or a 'wren'', a 'sparrow'. And there were plenty of sparrows, black birds, robin redbreasts, crows, and occasionally a buzzard or two... You cant see the finality of your work. You think you are doing nothing but this period of obscurity will lead you towards self-realisation. By liberating the stones, you liberate your passions and you restore life to Nature. The moon and stars return to stroll in the clearing and the more nature sings, the stronger the healing waves become in the house. The chain, Little one, never forget the weight of your actions. (Message from William Walter Scott.) I was in poor physical shape and I had no idea where the considerable forces required to achieve the work that I undertook came from. Years of smoking coupled with a lack of sustained exercise saw me ill equipped to tackle the task in hand. But I wasnt alone. I became increasingly aware of the presence of invisible assistance. Energy rose up from the site to feed my efforts, or rather their efforts, because it became apparent that I could not have managed all of the work alone. It was the same thing as far as the healing was concerned; There are three doctors from Above who work through you. (Pixie, the 20th. October 19997.) I often thought of the three Durville, Hector, Henri and Gaston. I may well have been there, but there was something else working beside or through me. Intangible collaboration. I contributed to a movement and impetus that overrode my sole initiative and forces. The same applies here and now with the so-called writer, who is right here (write here) but who depends as much upon incoming in-tuition and inspiration as upon breath for living. Words, Spirits emissaries, come to jostle in this field of integers like so many flowers moving beneath your informed regard. Their origin is like mine and like yours, dear co-creator the active and divine principle of the Verb. You might say that it is more a case of words inventing us than of us inventing words. It is more a question of life living us, or through us, than us living life. We are 60

merely the means to an end, whereas we tend to live life as though we are the sole end purpose. But we are simple receptacles through which universal energy expresses itself, assuming all possible forms, functions and manifestations. Under the influence of our emotions, it is the ego that claims propriety of all 'our' realisations. But if today we know that this is not the case, I did not realize it at the time as I was in full-blown 'cold turkey'. I was suffering from nicotine withdrawal symptoms and lack of guidelines since Liliane had left. I had brought with me to Brittany thirty odd years of cigarette addition. I decided to stop smoking, and there began a series of seven days, seven weeks, seven months and finally seven years abstinence in order to completely liberate myself from all of its physiological effects. This gave me time to analyse the causes of the initial addiction. Family and ancestral fears revealed through recurrent schemas? Defensive behavioural patterns in face of external contact I used to light a cigarette before engaging in a telephone conversation! The instinct for survival, translated through the need to hide behind a smokescreen, inherited from the war-faring days of those galleons of old confronted by an armada. But the greatest need and correspondingly the least possible to resolve was that of internal warmth; the fire represented by the burning cigarette end testified to a fundamental lack of love in earlier life (or lives!). Smoking involves trying to inspire this lack of love... without burning oneself! What better way to remove toxins and gain internal warmth than by hard digging! Indeed, I was to dig at least a yard down around stones that were sometimes the size of large motorcars! Just as each discovery was a source of immense pleasure, a source was to be found beneath virtually every stone. We have seen that this is commonplace in all sacred places. For example, the spire at Chartres Cathedral is 103 metres high and a source can be found at precisely 103 metres beneath ground level. If there was no financial reward to be gained in working in the clearing, no beautiful fairy to be found hiding behind one of the stones, they nonetheless brought me much more than I could have imagined. Lilianes earlier messages had forewarned me, even if I did not take them seriously at first: You have revealed the stones. We told you that they would repay you in kind. And there is already a part of it here. But the best is yet to come.... You are like a Phoenix and you must arise again. Your love of Nature will lead you to love yourself.... (William Walter Scott. 1997.) Having cleared the length and breadth of the clearing, between the woods and the river, I set about scratching around the two oaks trees perched on their stone. I soon came across three large stones, forming a circle around the oak trees. Youll find a tree among your stones, its a healing tree. You need to clear away as far as the river, including around the two trees and the healing stone. (W.W. Scott. 1997) I subsequently identified three main systems: Air, where the whale-stone with its Wivvers back was located on the edge of the woods; Water, beneath the umbrellalike branches of the hazel-nut tree protecting a bevy of stones beneath; and Fire, the two oak trees exposed to the midday sun. I began to dig channels in from the 61

river to circulate around the Water and Fire systems, finding new stones along the way! At night, I reread my notes: A Cosmic man guides you. The Young One has prepared every thing for you, but you must carry on and finish the work alone. She will always be at your side. Listen to her, she loves you a lot. A golden spiral links you to the Cosmos. You are an Earthling; in the future you shall become the castles guardian. Write a book. The tile shall be The Leuhan Rose. Your Guardian angel protects you. For a long time you were a warrior and a chief. Open your eyes to understand others and Love. If you feel under attack, it is because you have not sufficiently advanced in self-understanding. You detest nostalgia, you push on ahead, and you see the future so why keep the past within yourself. The Young One has cleaned your lodgings, but she cant clean inside you. Accept her help, because you must advance, but it is you alone that must bury this past. You reproach others for not being clear with themselves: but are you with yourself, really? (Message from William Walter Scott. December 1997) Cosmic man? Was this a reference to the 'person' from the 21st. Solar System with whom Liliane had communicated on more than one occasion in November 1997? I used to give her one-handed healing energy while noting down her conversations with the other hand! It is up to each of us to do our own housework. Liliane had given me the 'broom' my first spade, at any rate! The rest depended upon the extent to which I was prepared to invest in the resolution of my own problems. Instead of remaining inactive and complaining, it was time to arise and dare to overcome the fears underlying my impotence faced with the state of the world. What can I do to help myself, and thereby help the world? Because I am my world, just as you are your world. And there is a team in the invisible worlds only too willing to help us: Get in touch with us you are protected: together we will achieve great things. (W. W. Scott on the 3rd. October 1997.) To unite and to act together, William evoked the love chain: Our work, our stress; our passions, our desires, our hatred, our indifference are all school for Love. We must learn Love: we must first teach ourselves, to every thing that we take to be ourselves, and to all of those around us, both beneath and above us. It is the sole aim of life, the sole reason for creation. But this mystic attitude must well spontaneously from the depths within us... It is an initiation, regeneration, and a new birth, announcing this third and final birth... But all birth presupposes a death. Our being, composed of much more than just a physical body, can endure many more death forms than mere physical death. But they are never more than transformation pains and all agony calls a joy and a progression. An intellectual change, a sentimental crisis, a new outlook, all mean the death of something in the psyche and the birth of some other thing, up until then dormant. And so sufferance is actually a blessing. The joy of living is also a blessing. These two sisters take turns to visit our spirit. 62

They continue to change costumes up until we discern, behind them, their still young mother: Life. Aches and pains and their father, desires, are simply practice for a definitive effort, the rejection of a primordial, perpetual and permanent desire. You need to recognize it and proclaim it loud and clear: every human being bears in its heart the passion for God; every human being must understand universal sufferance; each human being accomplishes one single job: the conquest of the Absolute. (Paul Sdir. Les Amitis Spirituelles. Bibliothque des Amitis Spirituelles.)

All of these distractions serve to undermine the process of individuation by reinforcing dependence that is so characteristic of the social-cultural mechanisms of contemporary society. This is the common breeding ground of egregores, psychic and astral group entities and their adherent flocks of sheep with... the wool pulled over their eyes. Visit the interior of the earth. Research the deified essence, the creative spark, the god that lies within, deep down inside every one of us. And by rectifying yourself, dare to discover your true self-realisation: the hidden stone which is the true medicine. Throw light on our shadows. Seek out the internal grain of fruit that contains the cosmic tree of Love latent within, the Light of our true Nature. This Love that lies deep inside like the memory of paradise that is common to us all. So many veiled memories patiently awaiting for the age of wisdom, the Golden Age of true medicine to release them. The Scott Family motto AMO... - I love... was the war cry of the Knights Templar advancing resolutely towards their destiny, in search of the Grail. In other words, seeking the knowledge of their own true Self, their divinity. History repeats itself in cycles and spirals, each tour inviting the continued surpassing of knowledge already acquired, the resolute resolution of revolutions. We will always be with you. We will protect you, but more than anything else we love you. Advance towards this love? Never give up. A flame is burning in the distance: it is up to you to find it. (Message from William Walter Scott via Liliane. The 3rd October 1997) Give your hands; dont be alone. Nature and water shall resource you. We are there by your side, even when you cannot sense our presence... There will always be someone or something to give you a message - your intuition, the words of a neighbour or those of a passer-by, etc. The birds speak! They will give you signs. Resource yourself on the stones, by the fountains, rivers and standing stones (N.B. 'menhirs' fr.)... (Lilianes final message, on the 5th February 1998)

63

8 Any two which ways.

...Theres an invitation to a chapel: you must go. A quick round trip to England. Hospitalization. (Message from Corinne at Coat meal. The 18th. August 1999.)

Indeed, I was later to be invited to a party next to Loc Maz chapel to celebrate Franois fiftieth birthday on the 25th. September 1999. But a few days earlier I received several telephone calls from England concerning Scotties state of health. He was hospitalised at this time and his situation was deteriorating. I flew out to London on the 21st. September at one oclock in the afternoon of the Autumn Equinox. I arrived at Norwich hospital at midnight and asked to see my father. A nurse went to fetch a consolatory cup of tea before returning to confirm the presentiment that had accompanied me throughout the journey. Apparently both of us had shared the same 'departure' time... I helped my mother and elder sister Pip to fulfil the various related official obligations before returning to Brest on the 23rd September. The following day, someone came for a healing session, and I left a lighted candle in a wooden, birdshaped candlestick holder that I had found in the castle grounds. At the end of the session I returned to my room to find the candlestick holder in flames. The wax had run across the table to Scotties watch and then carefully surrounded it without touching, like an embrace! I avoided setting the castle alight in extremis, while recognizing the sign of Scotties presence via this 'messenger bird'. But why this round trip to England, particularly as I was due to return several days later for the funeral? I duly attended Franois birthday party with its marquees, roasted pork and lamb on spits and numerous people of all ages. Franois lived next to the restored Loc Maz chapel and you could sense the invisible company circulating above our heads! Someone presented him with a giant, tubular stone with a flat surface in the form of a round table that I positioned in a nearby field (thank you Liliane!). Throughout the day I was aware of two young men who kept looming in and out of my presence with a somewhat maliciously hostile air. At first I engaged them in conversation before no longer paying too much attention to them. The alcohol began flowing and continued to flow. After a copious and animated meal the music struck up and the dancing took off. A regular festnoz (a typically Breton night feast) ensued and continued into the early hours of the morning. At various times I became aware of the two mens amorphous faces lurching before my eyes like fish in a goldfish bowl. I had the impression that I was reliving some kind of Middle Ages pageant. It was as if these two youths belonged to another era. The day had been long and the party continued late into the night as I 65

prepared to return home. I had completely forgotten about them by this time but they had not forgotten me! As was leaving and preparing to cross the woods they jumped me from behind and assailed me with blows. Some of the invitees ran to my assistance and pulled them off and I staggered my way back through the woods in a daze like a wounded animal. Once I had arrived at the castle, I saw my blood-stained face in the mirror and saw red! All of a sudden I became furious, possessed by a ferocious anger. I hurriedly washed and changed myself into combat gear. I took a shillelagh-like lump of wood that I had kept by the fireplace for some (up until now) obscure reason and dashed out to the car with the intention of returning to the party and grievously attacking my two aggressors. I sped off at a rate of knots, swerving out of the castle grounds so fast that I ended up in the ditch. Late-night revellers helped me to push the car out of the ditch. - Youd be better off going home, they suggested. I had other ideas. I was going to teach those two a lesson and nothing was going to stop me now. Thats what I thought. I continued on my reckless flight, foot down to the floorboards! Left, left again, and then Bang! Smack bang into a stone-filled talus on the next bend. The car stopped abruptly while I carried on... straight through the windscreen! The next day, I asked myself plenty of questions. How could I have wanted to do them harm, me the gentle healer who liked to think that he devoted himself to the well-being of others? I had been outrageously angry and had intended to cause them harm. I had become like a Norse beserker; one of those fearless priest warriors of old who were reputed to be as strong as bears, (Hum, Corinne had talked about bears!), who stuffed their nostrils with garlic engaging in uncompromising combats, terrifying the life out of their prey... Was I reliving facets of some past experience related to some bygone age? The beserkers (the origin of the English word beserk) had served under Odin: His men rushed forwards without armour, were as mad as dogs or wolves, bit their shields, and were as strong as bears or wild bulls, and killed people at a blow, but neither fire nor iron told upon them. This was called Beserk-gang. (Snorri Sturlson. Ynglinga Saga. 1225) Luckily for me (and for others!), this type of reaction was a rarity. It seemed to have welled up from deep within me. But where did it come from? It was as though I had become someone else, completely transformed into a murderous, uncontrollable force. I recognized that this situation, the significance of which had been alluded by Corinne and the round trip prediction, had served to put me (back) in touch with a non-negligible interior force. A force that, appropriately canalized, would enable me to benefit others through the application of its energetic healing potential. At the same time this incident had served as a warning; an urgent need to control and manage my resources more appropriately and less reactively. I had made two return journeys to England in a short lapse of time in order to attend a party that had been announced as being unavoidable to my destiny. As unavoidable as a talus, at any rate! I also realized that this car crash had forced me to 66

relax albeit momentarily upon impact with the talus thalamus talus trauma! As a rule I was in a state of relentless, mental hyperactivity in which I constantly cogitated about a thousand and one things all at the same time. This tension was momentarily interrupted by the crash, thereby allowing the descent of a different type of energyinformation from the invisible worlds to my brain, in particular from those originating from my father. It was an opportunity for me to receive a kind of energyinformation 'heritage' from Scottie that had been too difficult to impart during his life-time, if only because he was largely ignorant of his own innate healing abilities. Akin to the same kind of difficulties confronting alchemists in seeking to transform brute matter (my brain cells) into gold (a higher level of enlightenment)! I remember another violent incident in my life when I was only nine years old with my Head Master, Mr. Davison who was not known to beat about the bush. But not before the Assistant Head Mistress, Miss Stuart (successors to the Tudor royal family!), first beat him to it. During his momentary absence, I was leaning down to pick up a girls rubber and hand it to her when Miss Stuart leered through the adjoining classroom door windowpane like a goldfish in a bowl. Miss Stuart was considerably overweight and had to pass through doors sideways. When she walked there was the eerie scratching sound of sandpaper that seemed to invoke primeval collective-conscious memories of the rattle of poisonous snakes. Her little finger beckoned me towards my imminent encounter with her blackboard ruler and lively civilities were duly exchanged at a measured tempo, belabouring Bartok polka dot spots on my buttocks! When Mr Davison returned she generously informed him of my misconduct during his absence. I thought that I had left all of this behind me but he too saw red. He went to fetch his partner - a short, thick stump of wood with a few bent nails in it before joining in the dance. He was furious, and I was so struck by his anger that I could no longer keep pace and I lost both face and consciousness apace. For a Head Master, he wasnt very ahead when it came to alchemy, trying to realize the Great Work in reverse order: changing his colours from red through white back to the black (board)! When I came round he was still flailing his arms around, but this time in fearful desperation. Miss Stuart sandpapered back and forth with glasses of fresh water to revive the by now multi-coloured victim white on top and red on the bottom! He thought that he had beaten me to death. So did I. A victim who nonetheless refused to bow down to authority...at least metaphorically speaking! This was the same kind of forceful, headstrong attitude that had re-emerged at Loc Maz. Anyway, I realized that this underlying uncompromising force was to be tamed and canalised like wild horses rather than endured or simply repressed. To be tamed by myself, if possible. As if to underline the Loc Maz episode, two years earlier I had received a message concerning my daughter, Shiva, who had been removed from me in this life at the age of three months when her mother returned to post-revolutionary Iran: During an incarnation on the Easter Islands, you offered your own child in sacrifice. She was young. You find her again today, but she was removed from you at the same age that you had given her to be sacrificed. You understand that 67

to end the life of someone is to put an end your own life, because you were filled with doubt afterwards, and subsequently you fell. In future, consider the repercussions of your actions instead of reacting, impulsively. Combat your demons and the Light will shine in you. Little one, open yourself up to the respect and love of yourself and of others and you will shine. We love you and we bring love to your heart. (William Walter Scott, December 1997.) Several months later, more clues arrived for me that were based upon interpretations drawn from some photographs of the stones in the clearing. I had attended two workshops organized by my friend Ladanum from whom I had received an astonishing postcard in 1999 in which he asked me what was I doing living in this stone building! For he had never been to the granite castle. He was certainly very long-sighted (and far-seeing?) for a clairvoyant. I wasnt expecting to hear from him and it warmed my heart. I was ignorant of the colourful destiny that awaited me in the domain of the transmutation of matter. I was going to oscillate between existential void, passing through the seduction of appearances to discover myself finally demystified, freed from fear and released from the clutches of egotistic pretension. Contact with Ladanum was re-established. I was soon off to participate in my first workshop with him outside of Paris at Vieux Boucau in south-west France. I was welcomed with open arms by the group, many of whom I met for the first time. I soon became aware that I enjoyed a vain pleasure in being referred to as the (therefore privileged and prestigious) brother of Ladanum. He seemed to know everything and know how to do it too. He explained that he had now created his own energetic structure beyond those of the Egregores and Hierarchies in the invisible worlds. He was no longer subject to the laws of Karma and throughout the ages had developed his own autonomous energetic Structure. He had surpassed his own Masters and become his own God so to speak. And that is what he represented for me a kind of God on earth. Each moment spent in his company was rich with teachings and insight. I had the feeling of 'existing' as if I were fully accepted the happy child feeling loved by their parents. Indeed, together Victor and Marana were like two indulgent parents for their followers. For the first few years in Paris they were forever available and at the beck and call of all and sundry. Ladanum seemed to have boundless patience. Energetic groups and workshops followed one another throughout the years. They were structured by well-established protocols that were recurrent in their form physical, energetic and meditative and that evolved in their content. Ladanum cultivated certain key words or expressions that ritualistically punctuated the ongoing development of the operations. In the case of a religion, as in the formation of sectarian phenomena, the stability of the egregore is longer lasting only if accompanied by the manifestation of physical (sporting) activity or of some such nature, in the sense that the message addresses itself to the deepest subconscious needs, finding an echo in the realities that provide a symbolic foundation for the collective 68

conscious. The duration of the teaching and the accompanying allegiance that becomes ritualized within it gradually form a structure, thereby creating an implicit programming that favours the structure of an energetic geometry drawn from the collective energy of the partisans. Once initiated and nourished, the egregore will develop according to certain rules, its autonomy forms itself into an hierarchy, it organises itself in accordance with that of a living body, a projection of the collective being, constituting its divine truth. Once in place, the egregore passes on to the next stage by becoming conscious. It individualizes itself and forms a being, the personality of which detaches itself from the proportional average of its multiple parents ('geniteurs' fr.). He becomes entity, entitas, entis, the present participle of esse, to be in Latin. At this point, this being is still considerably fragile. It is threatened by schisms that could dissolve it, due to the defections of its partisans that would weaken it. It must attain a sufficiently high level of autonomy to ensure its nourishment, in other words it must favour proselytism, promote conversions to the cause, and thereby renew its group of artisans, its fodder. (Pierre Manoury. Encyclopdie du Chamanisme. Ed. TrajectoirE. p. 203) Ladanum called for the formation of the Intersidereal Federation of Sibylline Energetic Tsars, which was aimed at incorporating his ancient students from Siberia with the Parisian and Breton partisans and practitioners of his energetic groups. For in the meantime, I had begun to fulfil his earlier prophesy by animating groups of qi gong and ta chi chuan in Finistre in Brittany. Little by little, Breton group members began to take part in the periodic national workshops that were proposed by Ladanum. For a year, he also proposed a series of meditations consecrated to work on the sixty-four stem cells. Ladanum was going to recondition them for his partisans, in preparation for the cosmic changes that were duly announced. I much regretted being left out of the opportunity to participate in the stem cell sessions and I was left with the impression that I had missed the boat. If I had one dream, it would have been to live and work alongside Ladanum but I was too far away. At times I missed him so much that I almost had (or rather: gave myself) the impression that I was banished. If only I could have become his assistant or disciple, but I was only a year younger than him and was too old to assume such functions. At least I could console myself by encouraging other people to benefit from his teachings and to participate in his workshops, as well as selling his books and doing publicity for him in Brittany... The Gods are demanding, even if they do not gobble you up. The organized rituals and teachings together with the increasing number of partisans are not sufficient to ensure a long-lasting entity. The energetic input, even fervent, disperses and needs to be fixed, rooting itself in a prop that is better adapted to the physical world of which it is the divine medium... Because an egregoric entity of this kind is a human energetic creation that attempts, in principle, to establish contact with the superior spheres, in accordance with both its setting up programme and the quality of naivety of its partisans. The psychic aspect alone, even ritualized, will not assure the grounding of such an entity. Expressing 69

life, the entity needs the germinated seed of this very same life in order to give birth to itself (in accordance with a process required by the universal creative principle) and develop itself; it then awaits a divine dimension, a reflection of the desire projected unconsciously by its own partisans. To create their god, men need God. (Op. Cit. pp. 203-4.) (N.B. our italics.) So here we are, servile and dependent upon a teacher or a Master who is capable of shifting and exploiting our own centre, the benefits of our own selfempowerment. And the predominant emotion is that of fear. Afraid of being mistaken. Afraid of being tricked by external dangers, energetic or other, that are enumerated by the Master. Afraid of being unable to adhere to the demands of deadlines. Afraid of being exposed to dangers without benefiting from help, his help. There is the fear of being left to ones own devices, of becoming too different from the others and being abandoned by the group. Fear of no longer belonging. Workshops followed workshops, coupled by weekend seminars in Paris for as long as Ladanum continued to live there. In the beginning, I stayed with Ladanum and Marana in their small flat near the Eiffel Tower. Those were the happy days! I felt invested with a certain amount of prestige while at the same time wondering why they were so indulgent with me. They were so kind and generous. Once, Ladanum offered me a CD that we were listening to at the flat. I explained that I had no player, and could not afford to buy one. Without hesitating, he gave me a player together with twenty or so compact discs from his collection that I could use for the meditations in my groups in Brittany. I was very taken by his spontaneous generosity. On another occasion, I told him that I had the impression that someone or something was pumping my energy. Marana said that she would look and see if something was going on. She was surprised to discover that Rose, Matehs wife, had arranged for a spell to be thrown on me following my separation from them in 1999! Marana drew me two talismans to protect me from further interference, saying that I must keep them with me at all times. One was for the Upper Canal, linking me to cosmic energy, and the other for the Lower Canal and providing access to terrestrial energy resources. In accepting these two talismans I opened myself up to their influence. As a rule a talisman is designed to improve a subjects situation in a given context. In any case, an 'intention' is placed in the talisman. This intention is designed either to counteract a negative imprint already inscribed in the subject with a view to creating a diversion, (crossing the wires so to speak). The electromagnetic waves emitted by the inscribed symbols send out psychic emissions to the universe, reinforcing their liaison with the subject, as was the case in Maranas two drawings. In 2004, there was a series of ten weekend workshops in Paris in view of completing the training of prospective Teachers of the Sibylline Energetic Tsars. This time I had decided to invest in an mp3 player in order to be able to record all of Ladanums words of wisdom while being able to remain attentive to the proceedings. 70

But despite the efforts of some of my more technologically adept fellow partisans, I was unable to record my (his Masters?) voice. The following weekend, I had returned to the mp3 supplier who first tested and then replaced the microphone system. Once again, and despite adjusting the microphone to full volume, only the faintest of recordings became possible. I understood by this time that nothing is arbitrary in life, so I asked Ladanum for his interpretation of the significance of this malfunction. He simply replied that it was a technical fault. Well yes, I knew that already, but why and what was the reason behind it? Ladanums tautological reply reasoned and resounded false. I was looking for a symbolic explanation for this breakdown or informational blockage. Why couldnt I hear him? At the same time, I had already had dozens of notepads of his previous workshops, full of information rapidly transcribed and subsequently never fully reread or integrated. So why was I so desperate to record so assiduously everything that was said? I was afraid of missing something important, in the same way that I had been afraid of missing out on the stem cell series in Paris. It was just one of many reflex reactions that revealed my underlying fear. But then what was I doing there in the first place? It was as though my life depended upon it. I seemed to have become irresistibly attracted to anything and everything to do with Ladanum. Was I afraid to modify my habits? Afraid to change direction and find a new one? Afraid to swim alone, or just simply afraid? Within the Sibylline Energetic Tsars, the participants gave the impression that they were part of a well-informed minority. They considered themselves to be a select group of privileged people, a sort of avant-garde for the Twenty-First Century. Pierre Manoury quotes Robert Ambelain: Psychically integrated by ritualistic initiation or by intellectual adherence to one of its currents, the partisan becomes one of its constituent cells. They increase the egregores power by the qualities or defaults that they possess, and in exchange, the egregore isolates them from the external forces of the physical world and reinforces, by all of its previously accumulated collective force, the feeble means of action of the man who rallies to it. (Robert Ambelain. La Kabale pratique. Ed. Niclaus. 1951.) And I continued to follow the workshops for several years like a lamb to slaughter. I looked forward with eager anticipation to these reunions that represented the high points in the year. Soon there were two or three workshops each year. I was happy to rejoin the joyful parents who seemed to spread happiness around them, together with my merry fellow partisans. But appearances can be deceptive. Behind the 4% or so of visible matter that appears to occupy all of realitys space there is an energetic ocean that moves beneath the surface, which frequently flows against the apparent tide. As when buying a second-hand car, there is often a tendency just to see the superficial, visible advantages without testing in depth for the presence of rust or indications of modified speedometer counts. No rust in sight, no worrying noises emanating from under the (unopened) bonnet perfect! Ill take it. Happiness at last! But what exactly is happiness? To feel loved? The feeling of being accepted within ones family or group of friends? The feeling of being in complete harmony with 71

ones mission on earth? Or to have found a meaning to ones life? Or to have grown to love and to accept oneself? I had now found a reason for living - to continue in my pursuit of Ladanums teachings but not a reason for life. Because confronted by the lifes problems, I was still dependent upon Ladanum for explanations and appropriate advice, he who seemed to have all the answers. I became addicted to him. (N.B. Which is a paradox because Ladanums real-life Russian name stands for to be addicted to or dependent upon.) He had replaced Liliane as my reference point. Panic broke out among the groups in Paris when Ladanum announced that they were leaving to go and live somewhere in the south-west of France. It was as if the parents were abandoning the household and leaving the children behind to cope by themselves! Whats more, they were leaving no forwarding address! Having by now lived for some years far away from the quasi-daily groups in Paris I had already begun the process of severance. One day I asked Ladanum for details concerning John Stears. What had happened 100 odd years earlier? He told me that Stears best friend had raped the woman that he loved and that she had subsequently left Stears to go and live with him! There was a moment of incredulity on my part when I heard that this woman had chosen to live with the man that had raped her but I didnt even have time to think of questioning the unlikelihood of such an illogical situation before my attention swung back to focus upon Stears and what he had lived. So, Stears had been abandoned. His best friend had betrayed him. His loved one had betrayed him. Abandonment and treachery; two themes that had accompanied in parallel fashion this life of mine too! Any two which ways...

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Healing oaks.

9 Clarifications in the clearing

I began to centre my attention upon the clearing and the whys and wherefores of this place and my implications within it. In one of the earlier Ladanum workshops I had the chance to ask Ghislaine for some answers to my questioning. She had been interested in shamanism for many years and the photographs of the clearing that I had brought along to show her intrigued her. ...There is a dual message in this place (N.B. the clearing): a message that communicates with the past, but which also carries a message for the future; You must make contact with the spirits of the place...Theres no need to undertake such heavy work (Now you tell me!); its as though you have already revealed the essential parts that need honouring, which will enable you to get in touch with the MESSAGE. Cosmic movement... cf. the stone, = a calendar = a message for the FUTURE is inscribed in the stone. Start 'connecting' and bring to the fore the stones that are essential... Introduce yourself (with a ritual) to the clearing...

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This is the place that will give you your healing (N.B.: 'magnetisme' fr.) and knowledge. If you rise up, you will connect to higher vibrations. You will integrate increasing magnetic force and more people will come... This place, and everything beneath it, is very highly charged. For one man alone there is a danger of bringing to the surface difficult things. There is direct contact here with the Cosmos. Connect with all of 'that', without allowing heavy stuff to resurface. Its as though the destruction of a people (race) meant that they could no longer continue. ***Atlantis! It is out of the question to reactivate the descendants: ...they blew up the world: Ladanum was there!!! (Ghislaine. 1999) Ladanum was there? Well of course, why not? I knew already that we had shared several past lives. But what was I doing in the castle basement today and, furthermore, underground in the clearing? What was the purpose? What was the point of all of these stones and what was my role? Why me, why here and why now? Here I was, straining myself against submerged stones in the clearing without any apparent aim if only not to give up! And I wondered how I was going to get in touch with the spirits in place without reactivating energies that subsequently could prove to be noxious. I didnt realize at the time that simply by being in the clearing for what was to become years on end, I would spontaneously resonate with the clearing by my presence alone and reconnect with my ancient contacts of bygone times, opening myself up to facets that had previously been mine and of which up until now I was unaware. On a megalithic site, Mans role consists of simply relaying himself to the sacred, by means of the stones mineral memory. Because its coherent plane possesses all pertinent information relating to Creation and to Divinity. Information of which we are no longer aware, but which is buried deep down in our archaic consciousness in the reptilian brain. (Jacques Bovin. Mgalithes Lieu dnergie. Ed. Mosaque. 1995. p. 232.) Six months later at another of Ladanums workshops, I asked Ghislaine if I should work with groups or alone in the clearing? She provided me with further information concerning the clearing together with a veiled warning: You should stay there where you are; its your territory. You are in position. Increase your connection with the clearings spirits. In time, people with the same kind of vibration will arrive. Always take care to remain master of the place and of its spirits. You are someone who wants to share this place with others - but only with those who have a lot of respect for it. You need to consolidate the place where you heal. Sometimes you will need to protect the area. 74

The clearing is not for everybody. You are the one who decides what needs to be done there. You must not invite Ladanum, for example, to lead a group in your place. (Ghislaine, on the 9th May 2000) I already sensed that the clearing was not a place for everybody. Since the beginning I had had a spontaneous reflex to protect the clearing. I was nonetheless incapable of formulating a reason for this, nor for the danger against which I was protecting it. I had the impression that something was at stake, something that held its origin in the long-distant past. But at that time I simply followed my instincts, spontaneous instants, without thinking through the implications of my feelings in respect of the clearing in a methodical or analytical fashion. Ghislaines reference to Ladanum and the clearing spontaneously seemed to me to concur with the generally accepted energetic precept whereby mixing the energies of several group leaders in the same workplace was to be avoided. It was no doubt preferable that I reserved the clearing exclusively for my own energetic practice. (After all, I had a tendency to perceive only what I wanted to see, as opposed to what in fact was 'really' there...) Ghislaine continued: It will become necessary only to invite specific people to the clearing. Its for you to animate the work. Little by little youll meet people who have the same things inside. Leuhan shall become a special centre for reflection. Activities shall be organised you must always remain master of the place. Some very centred people shall arrive. Leuhan is very rich but energetically 'neutral'. It could make a good (reception) Centre. The stones in the clearing are very powerful. You need time. Be patient. Stay master of the place. Its going to become a luminous place. Bringing people together. (Ghislaine. The 5th December 2000) Stay master of the place. This echoed within me for a long time. In the moments in which I felt particularly weak or lacking in confidence, Ghislaines invocation often came to mind providing me with a fresh source of inspiration, like a kind of mission to fulfil, even if I was at a loss to understand what possible importance it could hold. I was like a little dog on a chain, its tail between its legs, its master instructing it to Guard the house! And being chained up rendered the scope for guarding the house somewhat limited, if not ineffective. Unless I compared myself to Kebir or the two other winged guardians of the castle who did not need to move in order to move others! Meanwhile, Ghislaine read some Tarot cards: JS: What do I need to be wary of? Ghislaine: Youll have to become as boorish as a Breton as tough as granite! Dont let people wear you out. You need true strength of heart, to be a solid/ 'true' worth. Be redoubtable, with your feet firmly rooted in the ground. After Leuhan, you will go elsewhere. You will create learning/a network of people, and then go elsewhere. JS: Where? 75

Ghislaine: The card of Hope: total transformation. You will become a completely different being: as if you began your true life. A place somewhere in the Lot or Corrze, or in Italy, with a whole network of people. It will be more a case of you moving around to see people, than the reverse. No more qi gong to teach. You will be like Ladanum, but in your own right, with your own specificity. (Ghislaine. The 5h December 2000.) What do I need to be wary of? This question revealed my prevailing, underlying uncertainty with regard to both present and future. I couldnt wait to be far from the famous Breton 'crachin' (drizzle); would sunshine and light be my lot in the future? Not for a while, I feared. The little dog remained chained to his post at the castle like the other stone guardians. But the stones in the clearing had been at their post for a much longer. Ghislaine had taken part in a shamanistic workshop for which I given her two photographs of the fertility stones taken at mid-summers day to show to the workshop leader who could read into photographs... The shadows thrown upon them by the Solstice sun revealed the shape of two serpents, their heads greeting one another across the fissure in the stone. This is what she 'saw': This site was deliberately buried: it possesses much knowledge. You must ask permission; ask whether you can dig out/go on further. Get in touch with the spirits and ask them what needs to be transmitted. Stones contain within them the memory of events that took place around them and of information that has been relayed through them. It is also possible to fix certain information or intentions in stone. I had taken a small stone that had the shape of a serpents head to the Vieux Boucau workshop to ask the Ladanum for their impressions. I had initially discovered the stone beneath the two oak trees in the early days in the clearing. Marana held the stone in her hands, closed her eyes and began to recount descriptions of celebrations and of dancing in circles. All of a sudden she threw down the stone in horror: she had seen blood and darkness. I had found the stone at the feet of the twin oaks, a good yard beneath the surface. These stones also function as 'megalithic computers', like those at Stonehenge in England or Carnac in Brittany. They contain information and stock memories in much the same way as a conventional computers hard disc. They are not only capable of resonating with individuals who find themselves in close proximity but also with other energetic centres throughout the world. They are energetic relays, capable of receiving and condensing information and energetically nourishing zones of interest far from their base in the same manner as nuclear or electric power stations. The stones in the clearing are each positioned on specific energetically charged points, akin to acupuncture points on the human body, as are the stones referred to in the above sites. These are particularly strong, cosmo-telluric magnetic points that accumulate and concentrate energy while at the same time serving as 'doorways' between terrestrial energetic networks and cosmic forces in the invisible worlds beyond Earth. The shape and position of each stone plays a significant role in determining 76

its individual function as well as the global function of the site. Each stone fulfils a healing role specific to different aspects of healing and well-being, as do specific acupuncture points within an holistically and therapeutically orientated system. Their respective qualities enhance the re-equilibrium and potential resolution of specific ills or corporal malfunctioning within the overall bodily structure. The stones burial had either taken place to protect them from misuse or destruction or, by less fraternally orientated interests (cf. the forces of darkness), to prevent them from receiving and subsequently relaying luminous cosmic energies destined to benefit Earth. I was already aware of the fact that a number of ancient sacred sites have suffered from considerable wanton damage in Brittany. This was motivated on the one hand by religious and anti-pagan initiatives, by purely economic orientations designed to extend the limits of cultivatable land, or again by initiatives aimed at 'controlling' access to the beneficial qualities of the sight in question. Such interventions suspended, or in some cases destroyed, their potential energetic functions and mandate until the time would come to reactivate them. And now that time had come. The contemporary discovery and bringing to light of stones and of other ancient sites in a variety of locations throughout the world is symbolic of the revival of the Forces of Light and of all the means at their disposal to counteract the Forces of darkness. If John Stears and his father had been responsible for 'bringing the light' to Brest in the late Nineteenth Century - physically', in the form of gas street lamps, and 'theosophically' in the form of enlightenment - the bringing to light of the stones in the clearing also enabled the liberation of luminous energies. Luminous energies that had been previously 'obscured' by what may be considered as being the immanent and equally obscure intentions envisaged by the Forces of darkness throughout the duration of the 6 480 year-long Iron Age, or Age of Kali Yuga. Why had the time come now? We are actually in the process of living the final years of the Kali Yuga in which the predominant influence of the Forces of darkness is drawing to a close. At the same time, the Earths magnetic field is 38% weaker today than it was in 1 500 years ago. Our perception of the world depends upon the reciprocal relation or interplay between waves and forms. Form is a function of vibration and vibration is a function of form. Gregg Braden recounts how the Schumann Resonance (N.B. a kind of Earths' heart-beat') has increased from 8,7 cycles per second to nearly 13 cycles per second today (2009). This means that the virtual absence of a magnetic field will provide a situation in which there is no longer any 'space' separating thought from its crystallisation and realisation! This also means that we shall become increasingly aware of certain realities that have been deliberately obscured and withheld from our view. Individuals will access themselves directly to pure information. This will be the Fifth Dimension. Individuals will be able to create their reality instantaneously here on Earth just as it is possible already in other dimensions. For the time being, the space that exists between thought and its crystallisation into reality is predominantly held back by the expression of emotions 77

such as fear, anger, hatred 'duality' - and all of their associated violence and culpability that are compounded by the accompanying dearth of self-confidence and self-empowerment. For it is in this way that the vast majority of people on Earth remain prisoners to the forces that continue to cultivate their domination over Man by maintaining a constantly renewed climate of fear and insecurity. It is not for nothing that fear and insecurity are the two predominant themes of political party electoral campaigns when vying for votes. What better way of distracting attention from the path of individuation and recognition of our veritable divine identity? Restrict the growth of personal awareness by incessantly riveting attention on a plethora of fundamentally insignificant yet ingeniously well-orchestrated fear-based concerns; illness, national and personal security, life-insurance (as if 'life' needed to be insured in order to be assured!), 'freedom' (if you are afraid of losing your freedom, this is a sure indication that you have given it away already, that it is already lost!)... All of these proposals implicitly encourage the individual to seek solutions to (these prefabricated) problems outside of themselves, rather than seeking them within. The sole antidote is uncompromising recognition of your own innate value and Truth. There was a discussion on the subject of reincarnation at Ladanums workshop at Vieux Boucau in 2001. He explained that when two souls that had shared a previous common existence met up once again, one of the two had a karmic debt to repay to the other. So I asked him what was the reason for our meeting in this life, to which he replied succinctly: Its personal. I was lost for words at the time but I realized subsequently that there was an unjust imbalance between us. I was not in a position to be able to 'see' or understand what had happened to me or to others in previous lives, whereas Ladanum was. For a brief moment it occurred to me that perhaps Ladanum himself had been Stears best friend at Plabennec at the time! I was almost immediately ashamed of entertaining such a malicious thought, given everything that Ladanum had done for me in this life, and quickly pushed it from my mind. But although I had sensed a certain malaise on his behalf surrounding the subject I did not pursue my enquiries any further at that point. I was still very dependent upon Ladanum. I could not envisage doing without his reassuring company and support. I thought about him every day. He was there, with me in the qi gong classes; I heard his voice and visualized his expressions, his laughter. How many times did I ask myself what I would do without him? I virtually lived for the next workshop, each one of which represented for me a kind of happy family reunion. No! It could not have been him. Besides, everything that he had done in this life with regard to me had been coloured by irreproachable generosity. Full of confidence at the next workshop, I asked Ladanum if he would get in contact with Stears to get in contact, so to speak, with my old self. He called upon Marana to mediate between worlds. At first she laughed at all of the little people that she saw following me through the woods at Leuhan, occasionally playing tricks on me, such as making me lose my keys. She then came across the spirit of a woman who had continued to live in the castle in a relative calm before it had become converted into flats and re-occupied. According to Marana, this

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woman regularly called upon Stears to return to the castle in order to clean up the sector, which he often did at the time of the full moon. Liliane herself had recounted that once Stears had returned to visit the castle in order to give a warning to a newly arrived occupant who would not have been able to afford to pay the rent in the future. His presence had unintentionally scared her; she was so frightened that she climbed up on the castle ramparts next to her room in the tower while screaming her head off! She left the castle the next day and was never to return! If some people in the village already claimed that the castle was haunted, this provided them with further corn to grind. 'Visions' had also been recorded of Stears on horseback at the full moon, allegedly searching for his own battalion that had been decimated in Sedan. (N.B. During a battle against the Prussians, Stears had suffered his thumb being sliced off by a sabre, which is recorded in the detail of one of coats of arms engraved in stone above the Leuhan Castle front door.) Marana then made contact with John Stears, who said that there was a very heavy male presence in the castle. I explained that apart from the proprietor, JeanPierre, I was the only other male in the castle. There was a long pause before Marana exhorted on behalf of Stears: I am the castle's proprietor! I knew then that it was well and truly Stears at the other end of the line! When asked if he needed help of any kind, Marana replied that he was very occupied and independent and that no, he needed nothing. When the time came for the diplomas ceremony with the Sibylline Energetic Tsars, I once again asked Ladanum to explain the reason for our meeting in this life. When he replied that Well see about that later, I insisted, asking him whether or not he genuinely wanted us to remain friends and to keep in touch with me. He assured me that he would send me his address and telephone number later in the month. He never did. I did not have any way of contacting him as I was ignorant of the precise location of whereabouts he lived in the south-west of France. Once again Ladanum avoided answering this recurrent question that preoccupied me from time to time, which only served to accentuate the increasing suspicion on my behalf. Ladanum had asked me on several occasions to send him photographs of the stones in the clearing. At first I was proud that he should find the time to concern himself with 'my' work. But then I started to wonder why he showed so much interest in them and how he expected me to send him photographs as I did not have his address! I later realized that several Sibylline emissaries had found their way to the clearing over the years, all of them taking photographs on their way through. I began to contemplate on the possible implications of Ladanum taking or manipulating energy at a distance, with reference to the energetic potential of the stones in the clearing. But I had yet to witness with my very own eyes the undeniable proof of my growing fears, furnished by the adroit manipulations at distance of an employee of a nationalised French telephonic company; an employee who was, for me, invisible! Having suspended my regular workshop attendance for the preceding two years I decided to participate in the ten-year celebratory workshop at Trimurti in the 79

south of France in September 2006. Before I left at the end of the workshop I presented Ladanum with a cheque for 500 euros, a bottle of Siberian ginseng, a biosyntonie egg and ten CDs, together with a postcard from Brittany with the words Merci pour tous, (N.B. Thank you for everyone); which was meant to read: Merci pour tout (Thank you for 'everything'). What could have been the reason for this unconscious grammatical error on my behalf? I remembered Paul Eluards words: Earth is blue like an orange, never a mistake, words do not lie. And indeed, there was no mistake; for the s that came to replace the t gave birth to the anagram Scot, ou primeur; Scot, or the first to be informed! In other words: to be in your prime, to be new, to be reborn. You will become a completely different being: as if you began your true life. (Ghislaine). I have not seen Ladanum since the 29th September 2006, although exactly four weeks later I was going to see him again...in a completely different light.

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The seal.

10 Satori* ration point...

Never forget: the diamond was coal before becoming purified (Pixie. The 14th November 1997.)

There I was, digging out stones from the murky depths while at the same time delving deep down into my own in order to bring light to them and them to light! What if for some reason certain elements wanted them to remain hidden from view? Supposing they conspired to prevent me from bringing them to light and benefiting from their attributes? Perhaps they sought to divert and exploit the stones energetic qualities for their own ends. Or worse still, try to prevent me from liberating them in the global benefit of others? The further I pursued my work in the clearing, the more these and other paranoiac ideas began to cross my mind. It is not for nothing that the expression exists: without a shadow of doubt, because it is only by overcoming and surpassing all doubt and all fears that light can once again become restored in its own right. *(N.B. Satori is a Zen Buddhist term for spiritual awakening, the literal meaning of which is understanding.)

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Different associations reveal themselves with the discovery of the sense and essence of words in the choice of the name Ladanum. Because Ladanum is a variant of the word labdanum... both a variation of laudanum tincture of Opium! Victor Ladanums name in real life stands for substitute, (N.B. this is not their real name. It has already been mentioned that these events are centred around the parish of Leuhan, or Vicaria Leuhan, Vicaire, from the Latin vicarius, which also stands for substitute...) According to Ladanum, we had virtually the same energetic spectre. We all have our dark side. Like day and night, heads or tails, these two apparent opposites and two separate identities dissimulate the same fundamental Truth. According to the theosophical reduction of our respective names, Ladanum and I share the same numerological schema. So what really was the reason for our meeting? The spirit incarnates itself to experiment contact with matter, and particularly with the underlying force that renders its incarnation indispensable. Each one of us chose the time, the place and the family background for this incarnation, and this choice, which was not the fruit of hazard, corresponds exactly to the problematic that imposes itself upon us in any given space-time. (Dominique Coquelle. Les traces dOr. Ed. TrajectoirE 1997. p. 96.) Neither the place at Leuhan Castle nor time of the meeting with Ladanum were due, then, to hazard. The moment that we place our egotistic identity in its much larger universal and cosmic context, thereby liberating ourselves from the impediments of a daily life punctuated by its emotional reactivity, we can concentrate on discovering those parts of ourselves that have become occulted. Rediscover those parts that are essential for us to ensure our evolution towards the Unity with all of the other manifestations of our souls voyages. All of these hours spent digging underground, empty-headed and free of daily concerns, allowed me to strike another chord far removed from my emotionally reactive responses to daily life. I was tuned into another wavelength, on the same level as underground roots searching earths internal spaces and resonance. Animated by the need to recover those parts of themselves that are dispersed in space and time in order to complete and become a totality, everyone needs to measure what remains for them to accomplish with regard to their fundamental power. Each being could transmute the quintessence of their karmic root, in the same way that a diamond is extracted from a mine... This internal alchemy, which consists in separating the subtle from the gross, requires lots of time and perseverance. It also requires access to certain information, and those who seek will find them at the time of meetings with remarkable men, or in all the books of the world, in which certain sentences contain several levels of interpretation... (Op. cit. p. 96) This was the reason to dig deep to seek out the secret and veiled reality of my sole being and beings soul; to get to the bottom of it all! 82

Descend into your deepest parts and find a solid base upon which you can construct another personality, a new man. This necessity is motivated by the unavoidable imperative of the emergence from shadow towards light in the realisation of our souls plan and the expression of its entire potential that is in the process of realising itself. The Being (our vehicle), and what reality (our experience, our experiences, our hidden essence, out of sight and so often out of mind) hides, are what we need to reveal and bring to light: In order to fight against obscurity, master passions without forgetting that nothing can be accomplished without them. Need for temptation without which there could be no spiritual progress, because: evil is not in denial but in the absence of desire... (Colette Silvestre-Haeberle, ABC de la symbolique du tarot. Ed. Grancher.1992. p.107) Before we return to Earth, we plan our itinerary and choose the situations and challenges that we have decided to live in order to fulfil our mandate (our date with Man!). However, once incarnated we are no longer consciously aware of our mandate. In addition, the fact that we had foreseen all of the resources necessary to us in order to realise our mission often remains occulted and forgotten too. It is in seeking to resonate on the same level as this underlying force that nourishes us that we can advance along our life's/lives path/s towards accomplishing our destiny centred, committed and progressively unveiled. It becomes a question of faith and first and foremost of faith in oneself. You re-educate and revalidate yourself as you are, here and now, unconditionally. No one else can do this but you. Others may help and encourage you, but no one can teach you how to love yourself. This is the work of each individual soul. Each soul descends into the physical experience with the intention of confronting itself with this question of self-esteem. (Paul Ferrini. LAmour sans conditions. Ed. Le Dauphin Blanc. 2006. pp. 49-50) But it is more than likely that our self is hidden from us, just like the stones were in the clearing. In liberating the stones from some of their shackles, I freed myself from some of my own fetters. With each spade-full, it became easier to see the whole picture, the precise shape of each stone and the dimensions that had been carefully hidden up until then obscured by other aggregates of brute matter. Because when I had started to discover the stones in the beginning, virtually nothing was 'visible'. Most of the stones were completely underground and out of sight. One of the earliest finds was a stone that appeared initially to be the size of a small table. It remained like this for several months. One day I came back to it and several days digging revealed a huge stone the size of a boat several yards in length and in depth and no doubt weighing several tons! This stone had remained buried mere inches beneath the surface for centuries, out of sight and subsequently out of mind. The full extent of its potential and of its capacities had remained hidden. I had begun to reveal 83

the tip of an iceberg. And if I still had no clear idea where all of this was going to lead I was spurred on by a kind of (appropriately, given the occult nature of the stones) blind faith. I later came across photographs of two statues of a veiled woman carved in white marble that had been formerly commissioned by John Stears. For me, the statues evoked mourning perhaps the now hidden face of Stears lost loved one. At the same time the veiled face symbolised its own desolation and self-withdrawal: A face hidden by a veil or some kind of tissue symbolises an abandon or a loss of individuality: two faces covered by the same veil are identical. (Marie-Delclos/Jean-Luc Caradeau. Symbolism du Corps. Ed. TrajectoirE. 2007. p. 154) The veil also represents an allegory to faith. Faith in what remains invisible, non-manifest, hidden from sight but nonetheless omnipotent. Thought is the only means whereby you can progress in this life. (...) Let faith direct you! Dont think that there is no purpose. Turn over the earth, sow wellchosen healthy seeds, thoughts of love and of light, create within yourself an atmosphere of joyful serenity and sunshine. Just wait and see what beautiful flowers you will have to harvest when the day comes. ...Put yourself courageously to work; tear away all veils; destroy everything within you that could evoke anger or hatred; only hang on to objects that are really useful, those that invoke in you feelings of love and clarity, those capable of directing you on the path towards the Absolute. (H. Durville. Au Seuil de lInitiation. Ed. Chapitre. 2000. pp. 98-100) Here I was, myself well dissimulated beneath countless veils a stranger whose daily life and family links remained hidden and unknown to those around me in Brittany. Hidden in an obscure castle or in the adjoining woods and the clearing far from the beaten track. I lived in the dark, (in the sub-ground level basement), and worked virtually underground in the clearing seeking out stones. For some, the philosophers stone refers to the transmutation of base metal into gold metaphorically speaking Love. And to attain it, we need to look beyond appearances, beyond the visible part of this iceberg reality, so often reduced to its purely material, not to mention materialistic, expression. Sometimes we need to venture beyond the illusory comfort of wellestablished frameworks and their preconceived ideas in order to achieve this. I had left my family and native country and later the family that I had found in the Ladanum group in Paris. I lived apart, even if I were a part of the group. I was alone in my work in the clearing, too. I lived a paradoxical dynamic in which on the one hand I sought acceptance while at the same time seeking to maintain my individuality and autonomy from the mass. Elements of the Black Moon in the Ninth House of my astrological theme talk of talents and weaknesses associated with the individual: 84

Tendency to live on the border of established social structures, while still taking part. Love of the open air... Ungracious reflections regarding foreign cultures, including their own. Would belie the proverb: It is easy to lie if you come from afar. In order to live well this configuration, it is necessary to succeed in detaching oneself from the process of group identification, from ideologies and belief systems, in order to regain lucidity. Far from rejecting all objective affiliation to social groups, or to find an interest or pleasure within them, it simply involves not identifying with them. For people with this configuration, it is very difficult to have any kind of faith... ...we find here the unconscious refusal, Black Moon, to live the projection of Darkness on the group...(...)...a seeker such as this must position themselves as far as possible from the beaten track and general consensus of the status quo. (Marc Brault. La Lune Noire. Ed. Rocher. 2000. pp. 190-191) Too true, but for the time being I was still struggling to detach myself from the process of group identification. I still lacked faith... in myself. This was less due to an ability to believe in something than to the capacity to create my own frame of reference. For believing in something outside of myself was tantamount to becoming dependent upon those people, things or movements, instead of cultivating self-assurance and believing in myself. And I had become dependent; upon Ladanum for direction (Where should I go? What should I do? Stay in Brittany or go to Paris?), or for a reason to exist, (What should I do with my life?) To be honest, at that time I did not want to jeopardize the current orientation of my life or further destabilise it. This life, that I continued to base upon external acceptance of and endorsement by the other. Following our initial meeting, and given the comparatively unconventional topics that were considered in the weekend seminars, I wondered for a moment if I hadnt quite simply fallen into a sect! But my reflexive rejection of anything even faintly resembling a sectarian movement of Guru idolatry was equally counteracted by my thirst for novelty, particularly when it involved nonconformist ideas. At first, Ladanum called me his Master in front of the others, which was a great source of pride for me, or rather for my ego that was thirsty for recognition! Today, as humanity is awakening with the approach of the Harvest Time and the most extraordinary spiritual opportunity ever known on Earth, members of the opposing forces are falling over themselves to present themselves to the general public as leaders and spiritual healers... Many of those who propose false teachings in the world today are even more convincing to the layman, inasmuch as they themselves believe so sincerely in what they are teaching that their motivations are authentic. Some of these teachers are, then, ignorant of the fact that they are mere puppets of the Forces of darkness... (...) Other teachers are perfectly conscious of their own hidden agendas, whose sole aim is to inculcate insatiable desire, attachment and blind obedience, subordination, etc. These

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impostors take malign pleasure in creating a bait to attracts the personal Self, by deliberately blocking the arrival of everything that is true and saintly. (Divine Plan. Chapter Thirteen) Nonetheless, the more our relationship advanced the fewer the compliments became. And although I still took part in it, the more I became isolated within the group the more my position became untenable. I felt trapped. On the one hand, I couldnt find fault in what was being offered for consumption, (even if my mp3 didnt want to hear of it!) While for me to remain dependent upon this same source of supply became increasingly unbearable. My dilemma was aggravated by the fact that my only available referent with whom I could hope to clarify my position represented an integral part of the problem. ...Above and beyond practical objectives, your preoccupations bring you to question yourself, of the sense and nature of your being. This questioning is likely to be the even more arduous because with Pluto you have neither a model nor supportive help: you will have to find your own truth within yourself and by yourself, at risk of plunging into self-obscurity. (Astrological theme of John Stears.) In spite dying of hunger I was getting tired of begging. It was time for me to kick out of my lethargy and start to impose myself more in the world. In my world, because I began to realize that it was I who created my world, the word that I lived as my reality. I embarked on a progressive diet of detoxification. I began to reduce the frequency of my attendance at Ladanums workshops despite persistent solicitations on their behalf. I turned increasingly to myself to find solutions to on-going questions. I no longer sought the advice of my brother in arms or parent-figure Ladanum. In any case, I did not have his address or telephone number. At first I was hurt; it was a kind of auto-punishment, a self-inflicted banishment that I experienced as being like a kind of sensory deprivation. Less a question of lack of heroin than lack of hero! Little by little I began to create a basis for self-confidence, setting off in search of my own truth...to the clearing. The clearing was at once sombre and luminous. Rugged and spiritual. Visible and occult. Material and energetic. Carnal and spiritual. Son et Lumire! The sound of the spade clinking against entrenched stones. The recrudescent light that accompanied each discovery with each respective stone coming forth from earth and coming back to awareness. But the path was littered with obstacles, not the least those truths that I managed to hide so effectively from myself. Youve carried your cross to Brittany. as Corinne had said. I carried my 'cross' (tenet) by displacing literally tons of earth, rocks and stones on my chariot of a wheel (rota) barrow. I directed this work without the idea and intention of a John Stears in 1882. My body was weary with knocks and bruises to saturation (sator- ation; satori ration) point. An opera of sound and animation with scarce repose (repos)! SATOR AREPO the labourer; at his plough; the planter; the plough; in his field; directs work; on his cross; 86

TENET master; OPERA ROTAS

he/she holds or directs; the cross that holds the world; is

Oeuvre, work; swirling of watery fire; by his sacrifice; wheels; origin, creator; of destiny. (A Latin palindrome discovered in Pompeii in 79 A.D.)

The planter Arepo holds the wheels to their works? Man knoweth thyself? We each hold the key of knowledge within us - we just need to work it out! Eight letters S A T O R E P N that gives birth, anagrammatically to: O P E R A N T S! In psychological terms, this refers to an element of effective ('operant' fr.) behaviour. 108 years separated the birth of John Stears and my birth in 1950. And 109 years separated Stears departure in 1888 at the age of 46 years, and my arrival at Leuhan in 1997, a young 47 year-old. Life would appear to be cyclic, as it has been since the beginning of cosmological time and ancient civilisation. Lives, too, link together: depart at 46 years, return at 47. According to Liliane, those up there had been trying to persuade me to come to Brittany for the last couple of years. Indeed, having returned to France with my French wife in 1995, she had wanted us to settle down there. I had insisted unequivocally: Anywhere but Brittany! I had always been last in the class and here I was again, at least a year behind times! A timeless war has waged between the Forces of Light and the Forces of darkness in accordance with four cyclic ages - birth, youth, adulthood and old age. Traditional 'Cyclology' considers that there are equally four universal ages. Firstly the Golden Age, the primordial paradise of Krita Yuga that has a duration of 25 920 years. This is followed by the Age of Silver, the Tret Yuga that lasts 19 440 years. Then comes the Bronze Age, or Dwpara Yuga of 12 960 years. Finally comes the Iron Age, Kali Yuga that lasts for a period of 6 480 years. 64 800 years in all, of which a third, (21 600 years), are dominated by the Forces of darkness while the Forces of Light preside over a total of 43 200 years. We are actually living out the final years of this cycle of the Iron Age. If the first age is like paradise and completely luminous, the second age begins to become a little unsettled. By the third age, the Forces of Light and those of darkness are equally balanced. During the Iron Age, the Forces of darkness dominate and preoccupy themselves essentially with the appropriation of good souls, or, at the very least, attempting to divert their attention from the impending Golden Age, which will be fatal for them: As Satans job is to destroy souls, he occupies himself today, in his role of prince of this world, as the Gospels call him, to DISTRACT by all possible means men in this end of our Cycle, in order to kill in them all memory of their origins and all preoccupations with the last endings... (Jean Phaure. Le Cycle de lHumanit Adamique. Ed. Dervy. 1996) 87

Powerful elements of the Forces of darkness are more than likely to hide themselves and dissimulate their game to such a point that we are likely to discover them occulted, veiled at the very centre of those structures that, paradoxically, are intended to represent the guardians of truth and the Love of God: From a certain point of view, The Church invented the Devil. On an archetypal level, Satanism has become institutionalised. The demonic egregore, ritualised by abstruse rites and sacrileges, has become a reality, given allegiance to its elders the monotheist religions of which it is the bad conscience. But lets not fool ourselves: the greatest trick of the Devil consists in making us believe that he does not exist at all. (Pierre Manoury. Encyclopdie du Chamanisme. Ed. TrajectoirE. p. 212) The end of the Iron Age is often marked by a reversal of Earths polarity, which conveniently punctuates the reversal of the Forces of darkness dominance in favour of the Forces of Light. From darkness to light; it is a very propitious time in which to advance and to evolve towards the resolution of specific problems of individual souls and, by inference, to the resolution of what might be resumed as lifes overall problems. Simply beware of the pedlars of false truths that are widespread in these times: Deter Light Servers from their path? They know very well that awakening Light Servers are seeking to understand their newly developing consciousness; they (the Forces of darkness) therefore utilise every effort to efficiently deform the truth underlying this awakening and thereby mislead as many Servers as possible. This is achieved by proposing substitute to Truth and impressive but false and often complex philosophical systems, that may appear to many people to be useful and authentic, but which are in fact conceived to nourish and ardent, albeit subtle, penchant for personal gratification, reducing the vibratory level of consciousness leading to loss of personal power, and creating dependence. These wise tricksters among us today attempt to neutralise the Servers' mission, with a preference for crushing and completely destroying everything that can be aligned with the Divine Plan on Earth. They disseminate all kinds of extremely interesting information in their campaign that is designed to trick and distract as greater number of individuals, groups, and organisations as possible from the message of Love and service which is, itself, immutable and spiritually healthy. They are also capable of performing miraculous healing and manifest impressive psychic powers in order to inspire the masses faith, to subsequently conquer the adoration and fidelity of the gullible. (The Divine Plan) Faced with the blinding sun of the new dawn, few people will notice, and even fewer complain about, the remaining shadows of the preceding night! Shadows that merely serve to validate the days luminous radiance. Light springs from the shadows..., as Liliane would say. Rays of light. Rays, solutions... 88

11 Karmic resolutions
On Thursday the 26th October 2006, I heard the loud, raucous voice of a woman with an American accent echoing around the castle. I came out to fetch one or two logs for the fire and glowered menacingly at two intruders who were loitering beneath the giant thuja tree opposite my flat. I re-entered, but the noise continued. It became louder and louder as it approached my doorstep. A few moments later I heard Jean-Pierre add his chirpy, enthusiastic voice to the general cacophony as once again I emerged. - Ah! Here is one of our likeable tenants, he eagerly announced to the couple. - Im not as likeable as all that, I replied, scowling at the vociferous woman disdainfully. Jean-Pierre explained excitedly that she was a descendent of the Malpeste family, (N.B. this is a fictive name), who had previously owned and resided at the castle. She came forward to greet me and immediately began to explain that it was thanks to her that we could now all sleep peacefully in the castle. She had cleaned the castle of its tortured soul, that of John Stears. According to her, he had committed suicide in the kitchen where he had agonised for many a long year. I explained that I too had liberated certain trapped souls, somewhat affronted by her vulgar, presumptuous manner yet intrigued by her reference to John Stears. Her words confirmed the Malpeste familys belief that Stears had committed suicide, in spite of the official version that he had died at Brest, where he was subsequently interred. - You have a slight accent, she said to me. - You too. Anyone would think that you werent British! I retorted. We immediately launched into a long conversation in English, (or rather she in American, which is not quite the same thing!) Identifying my Queens English accent, the young man announced provocatively: - There was another English subject here in the past - a dog! He was a British bulldog called Cromwell and hes buried in the grounds. The original (Oliver) Cromwell was the military politician who governed England as Lord Proctor from 1640 to his death in 1658. He too was a descendent of the Tudor family. But this Cromwell was the dog that had guided John Stears to numerous discoveries at Leuhan. I pretended not to have heard him, Jean-Pierre eclipsed and in next to no time all three of us were in my flat where I was busily 89

explaining to them that it was I who had been John Sears in that previous life. -Yes I know, she announced calmly, as if there were nothing at all extraordinary about all of that, adding: I was the woman that he loved! She explained that not only was she the great-great-grand-daughter of John Stears but that she had reincarnated in this life as a psychic with a mission to save souls. In this life, she was the daughter of Count Malpeste and during her youth she had lived with her family at Leuhan Castle in the very same room in which I had been living for the last nine years. She used to sleep in the nearby house 'Ty an tortue'. She had returned energetically in 2004 to save John Stears soul, six years after my arrival at Leuhan. And six years was the exact length of time that John Stears had lived in deep depression, between the disappearance of his loved one on the 1st May 1882 and his own death in 1888. She was called Sassy, and the young man accompanying her was John Stears great-great-grandson, Lewis. I had already read an old article in the West France newspaper all about the history of Leuhan Castle and the Malpeste family. There was even a photograph of her with her two sisters and parents next to the fireplace with its engraved motto Honni soit qui mal y pense, which finds its origin in the inscription on the escutcheon of the English Royal Coat of Arms. (It was also my mothers favourite refrain!). Sassy belonged to a family whose members were descendants of Joan of Arc. They were both on their way back home from a holiday in Ireland and did not have much time to spend, having stopped overnight in order to take some photographs in memory of the castle as well as pick up some of Sassys belongings that she had left with the neighbours many moons ago. But I nonetheless invited them on a lightening tour of the clearing an opportunity to remount time! Sassy was enthusiastic and Lewis tagged along like (another?) dog with its tail between its legs. As soon as we arrived in the clearing, Sassy started charging up and down, excitedly throwing out indications about the meaning of respective stones based on her feelings and intuitions. This stone shows us what will happen if Man doesnt pay attention to what hes doing on Earth... Thats a fertility stone... This is an ideal spot for meditation... Ta-ta-tee; ta-ta-tah! She was like a windmill, but visibly impressed by what she saw and felt. I never came here when I was young, she had exclaimed. But when she was young almost all of the stones were buried and out of sight, like so many other past memories waiting to be revisited. On our way back from the clearing she told me that I should be grateful to her for having saved my soul. They left soon afterwards. I found it hard to sleep following this extraordinary encounter. I had just met my own great-great-granddaughter. Here was a person who had deliberately incarnated as a descendent of the Stears family, (because John Stears daughter, Batrice, subsequently married into the Malpeste family, into which Sassy was 90

subsequently born, in order to save souls in general, and that of John Stears in particular. And strictly speaking, we should quite simply never have met! Because, had it not been a Bank Holiday I would have been elsewhere at this time, animating my Thursday groups at Plabennec. On the other hand, Sassy was just passing through on her way back from Ireland to her home in northern France. She had not returned to the castle for several years and, furthermore, had not planned this spontaneous visit! I kept churning over in my mind everything that had been said. The next day, Sassy left a message on the answer-phone asking me for the name of the fellow in the oak tree, the hamadryade. I immediately telephoned her back and, given that she claimed to be a psychic medium and to have been Stears long lost loved one, I started to fire away questions at her to find out what exactly had happened at that epoch. Why, according to Ladanum, had she left Stears to go and live with his best friend? A best friend who, to boot, had allegedly raped her! I almost lost my temper with her. For all of a sudden, I found myself thrown back into this past together with its accompanying concomitant feelings and emotions as I demanded an explanation for her sudden and irrevocable departure. While I was bombarding her with questions at nineteen to the dozen, she suddenly announced that the name Pierre had just entered her mind. I didnt know anyone called Pierre offhand. There was Jean-Pierre, the proprietor of the castle. But no, it couldnt be him; he had a good heart and a generous nature. So I continued to seek out Pierre in my mind I was a bit of an expert in the matter, as there were plenty of pierres (stones) in the clearing! It was time to delve into my grey matter! The next day I phone John, Ive forgotten the word for hamadryade, I leave him a message and a telephone N. John calls back and all of a sudden its time to account! John is no longer in the 21st Century, its Stears on the phone, reproaching me, why did you leave me for my best friend?; I know that perhaps I was not very good, but can you imagine the suffering that I went through? I asked him to be a bit more explicit and he became John again. One of his friends called Ladanum had told him the story of Stears life, and of his tragic ending, the woman that he loved had left with his best friend having first raped her. I made a joke in bad taste such as she obviously didnt mind being raped, or she must have enjoyed being raped and then I had a flash: That was the one that I went off with, his friend in the other life. Pierre came to my mind. I told John, who I sensed writhing in pain at the other end... of the line. (Sassy notes, for The Other side of the Mirror.) At the same time, I was left feeling uneasy with the situation and with the way Sassy went about pursuing things. It was as though I knew nothing, (which is more or less true), while she knew virtually everything thanks to her mediumistic capacities. Having recently established a bit more self-confidence, I suddenly found myself somewhat distraught by these new developments that had unexpectedly surged forth, reactivating my sleeping cellular memories. There seemed to be a climate of mutual suspicion that reigned during some of our exchanges. I remembered Ladanums explanations regarding the resolution of karmic debts. If Sassy had specifically returned to liberate Stears soul, what had precisely occurred 91

between them; between this person she claimed to have been, the name and veritable identity for which we still had no trace? A week later was the 2nd November, the ninth anniversary of my arrival at the castle and the Celtic festival of Samhain, All Saints Day or Halloween. Once again I could not sleep. I thought about this enigmatic Pierre and the profusion of interrogations surrounding the central question: Who was Pierre?. I decided to ask Jesus to throw light on the situation. I began to visualize all kinds of images, starting off with Jesus face in the Turin image, which was followed in rapid succession by a series of others, including those resembling faces from Cro Magnon times... which led made me think of the stones in the clearing, these pierres, and of this joke and potential book-title that I was bound to write in 2008 called: The discovery of Pierre. Suddenly I literally leapt out of bed. Discovery indeed! Because I had just remembered that engraved on the base of the Kebir statue, in stone, by Pierre, was: V LA PIERRE 1883 BREST Incredulous, I dashed outside in the pouring rain with a small pocket torch to verify what I already knew was true. Yes! It was there all right. V. La Pierre, and not simply Pierre, had sculpted the castle out of stone. Sassy had only picked up part of the answer, albeit the most essential part of the puzzle. And there was this V that preceded La Pierre. But I already knew what this V stood for; it was one of several names inscribed on the plaque over the castle entrance: V for VICTOR! The same forename as that of my best friend in this life, Victor Ladanum! Two best friends! Boom! Boom went my heart, Boom, boom, boom... at a rate of knots. And bang went my head! In an instant the locks burst asunder. Sonias words in Paris came flooding back from the depths of my memory: Beware! Victor doesnt want you to escape! He wants your innocence! Hes after your soul!!!!! Steer clear of this person: Its the Devil!!! Danger!!! I remembered that Sonia had also seen mental manipulation and dishonest partners. At the time I had put this down to the Mateh family. I now realized that John Stears best friend and 'experienced sculptor' at the time the construction of Leuhan Castles, Victor La Pierre, was none other than John Scotts best friend in this life, Victor Ladanum! Well yes, Liliane, it nearly was a case of Pierres victory! I was immediately invaded by a wave of revolt, in all meanings of the word; rebellion, nausea and revocation all underlined by an excruciating sense of fear. But I was no longer going to follow suit! The same reactive force at the sight of blood that had made me 'see red' in the Loc Maz incident exploded to the surface! I was livid! I was more than livid. No! That was enough! This was just too much; STOP! I had no longer any doubt now. I KNEW! I could no longer pretend that 92

perhaps there was a mistake or just my imagination, thereby further avoiding confronting the facts. It was time to break free. It was time to overcome the underlying fear of being on my own, alone, and face up to life. I was nowhere near ready in Paris in 1997 at the time of Sonias scary diabolical revelation; I was ready now. But first, no matter how strongly I felt cheated by Ladanum, I also felt equally afraid. What would he do once he found out that I had discovered who he really was? Would he come back to kill me again, like he had done in the last life? Would he resort to energetic attacks? He had told me once that his best friend in Siberia was now a Russian Mafia chief, gallivanting around (the Benz?) in a posse of Mercedes with bodyguards (rushin' around?) armed to the teeth, exploiting his considerable energetic powers to his own profit and ends. Would he have a hit-man sent out to do me in? Would he try and prevent me from revealing my discovery? I became sick with completely mixed emotions ranging from fear through anger to the eventual calm recognition that I had an all-important decision to make and to subsequently respect to the death if needs be. It was the only way to resolve once and for all what I was experiencing, which resembled the agonizing death throes of a wounded animal...or man! I was simply going to have to stop relating everything I thought and everything that I was living to what or how Ladanum may or may not react. It was time that I became the centre of my own world. As long as I continued to situate myself in terms as how the other or Ladanum may react, I was avoiding assuming total responsibility for living my own life. At the same time, I was thereby continuing to feed the very forces that were abusing me. Typifying fear-based dependence... an allegory reflecting the same mechanism that operates behind fear-based acceptance of duality and of 'societal authority' that has contributed to the collective amnesia of Mankind for several millenia. However, it wasnt until I realized that there was now one essential, fundamental difference that changed everything concerning my historic relationship with Ladanum that I could genuinely begin to overcome my worst fears: I now knew what he had known all along. Even if I did not have all of the details of every past and current event that linked me with Ladanum, I now knew who he was. So, there was no longer any need for me to nourish fear-based projections of subsequent catastrophic scenarios. John Stears died in ignorance of who Ladanum really was. Today, I was no longer in the same (potential) situation. No matter what happened to me hereafter, I was now fully aware. This meant that no possible benefit could be drawn from my having to relive (sic) the same end as Stears. Once I had made my decision, it still took me a considerable amount of time to completely resist and evacuate the resurgent fear-based regressions that continued to reactively panic for my safety. And I decided that the most efficient method for overcoming this dependence was by means of symbolic action. I also realised that my actions needed to be pure, in the sense that they should harbour no ill-will, remorse or negative intention with regard to those people concerned, for I would otherwise simply further exacerbate and prolong the very links that I sought to

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relinquish. I was going to have to undo all physical as well as energetic links with Ladanum, as well as with all of our mutual acquaintances... Sometime later, I learnt some more of the multiple links between Victor and Pierre (stone): VICTOR: Victor (winner) or won over, because that is its etymological sense. The forename affirms confidence in victory, with a risk of imprudence that may lead to the opposite. Briefly, Victor has a duty to succeed, to be a winner. More literally: a feeling of internal imbalance (V) pushes him to take heed of his intuition (I) to theorize (C = pronounced sait = to know), then realize a work/oeuvre (T) of great value (or = gold). We cannot help thinking of Victor Frankenstein, the hero of Mary Shelleys novel. Contrary to current opinion, Frankenstein is not the monsters name but that of its inventor. It reads : victory at risk of defeat. (Victor) through the liberation (frank, from the German frei and the English free) of the stone (pierre; stein in German). Liberate the stone (pierre), isnt this exactly what Victor tried to do, with such dire consequences, in trying to create a man by electrifying inert matter? (Luc Big. Petit Dictionnaire en langue des oiseaux. Ed. Janus. 2006. pp. 165-6) These words above represent a retrospective premonition of my sudden awareness in 2006. Reversed as regards the electrification, for Stears found himself locked in the stone coffin of the castle basement, his current, his vital energy having been interrupted at source, so to speak, by the cerebral explosion ignited by a gun blast. A finishing stroke to toll the knell, a salvo of gun tracer to reduce him to cinders without ceremony or trace. Stears saw stars. Lilianes words, too, were a premonition, written on a New Years card in 1998: ...Never despair. Light springs from the shadows...and the stone (pierre) whispers the solution.! Both John Stears and John Scott shared the same person with the same forename Victor. A forename that was engraved in stone beneath my nose and that of the majestic Kebir, cocking a snoot at all and sundry since 1883! The clues were so visible that I did not see them. Other clues were apparent for all to see, at the very entrance of the castle, engraved in marble. There were five names, one of which had no forename, LACROIX MASTER OF THE OEUVRE. Man, woman or androgynous, like the two figures on the Scott Arms (N.B. See the frontispiece)? Symbolic allegory? Or perhaps, (whence no forename required), quite simply a reference to Christic Knowledge, the master architect behind the Great Work? (The One who 'gnosis' onions?) Or does it refer to Christ Himself, for whom the cross (Lacroix) symbolises the unification of Human Nature with Divine Nature source of eternal inspiration and our common heritage that awaits revival? The stones in the clearing reserved secrets of the same calibre. As in alchemy: a process of creation and evolution that applies itself to matter while engendering repercussions on spirit. (Beauchard). Work on brute matter in order to evolve towards (almost, because only God is) perfection and attain eternity. Victor La 94

Pierre, an experienced stone sculptor, and John Stears, theosophist, alchemist and learned man, worked together to give a meaning to stone: Brute material extracted from the quarry, the stone is called upon to take, at the hands and the spiritual willpower of man, a perfectly adapted form for its destination in the oeuvre as a whole. They who work it must be in osmosis and harmony with the global plan, in the same way that the alchemist conducts their action and maintains their spirit in perfect accord with the universe. The difference between the stone engraver and the alchemists exists certainly, but it is relative. Transformation or transmutation, the aims and the means are different; but the sense in which, on the one hand, action goes, and on the other hand, spirit goes, situate themselves on similar trajectories. The fact that one is more advanced than the other on this trajectory is secondary because very relative between zero and infinity, time and eternity. (Jean Beauchard. Le Tarot des Alchimistes. Ed. Vega. 2006 p. 43) The names of John Stears, that of his wife and of Lacroix all feature ahead of that of Victor La Pierre located in a position that was: more advanced than the other. There is no doubt that, for numerous years John Stears and Victor La Pierre were in osmosis and harmony with the global plan.. They pursued the same trajectory, first at the castle of Kerstears at Brest, then at Leuhan Castle. And, according to Ladanum, he had pursued numerous lives together with John Scott. Brother Magyars here, warriors there... But there came a time when one was more advanced than the other. And, in the beginning of this life, it was apparently Victor who was more advanced than, and ahead of, the other... who had previously lost his head, so to speak! But there is no short cut on the road to mans individuation, to authentic self. All karmic contraventions shall be heavily sanctioned...once they have been discovered. But who could have imagined what had happened to John Stears, and how? Like family secrets, there are certain mysteries that pass from generation to generation before finally being elucidated by someone. During this time, ancient souls continue to re-encounter one another until their mutual agendas are balanced out. An illiterate person puts the sign of 'the cross' ('La croix' fr.) in place of signing their name; which does not mean that they are called The cross', nor that they have no name. The cross is purely symbolic. In the same way, the evocation of a cross to 'name' something that up until now has been tacitly accepted without having been inscribed in words somewhere serves the same function. Some cultures have no name for God. The Sioux Indians, for example, have no name for 'spiritual' or 'Divine' because everything is spiritual; here, in order to name something there must first be an absence... The axis mundi, the Tree of Life, the centre of the organised world serves as the place in which the three states of Man can inter-communicate - physical, intellectual and spiritual. The straight lines of the cross serve paradoxically to suggest circularity, lifes cyclical nature itself, as indeed do the sun - moon - sun 95

aligned on the Scott arms - all invoked by these words:

MAY MY SOUL AND THOSE OF MY CHILDREN BE BLESSED BY THE LORD AS IT WAS FOR ALL OF MY ANCESTERS.*

One thing is certain; if the past no longer exists and the future is not yet manifested, the present cannot be measured unless it is by a cross that thereby unites the four cardinal points in one single space-moment at its centre, there where all lineage 'exists' in one and the same spot. This is why the present moment is the Cause; the past and future both extending simultaneously backwards and forwards from this moment within time! Let us, then, cross our fingers...

*(N.B. The Magna Carta, drawn up on French soil on the 15th June 1215 against Jean Sans Terres (1166-1216) cited: By the inspiration of God, for the safety of our soul and those of all of our ancestors and of our heirs.... Jean Sans Terres - whose anagram reads: Jean Stears n (= born) R (= rex = king)! - was at the origin of the Welsh nobility and of the Tudor Family!)

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12 Energetic Vampirism
I immediately contacted Sassy by email to inform her of my discovery but I didnt have time to go into details because her immediate reaction was to say that she wanted to meet Ladanum! She asked me where he was to be found and wanted me to contact him and let him know that now I knew everything. That I knew about our shared past at the castle and of the role that he had really played at this epoch. I told her that I had no idea where he lived and that I had no means of contacting him. I mentioned that he was due to organize a workshop that was programmed for December in the Sologne region of France. She didnt seem very convinced by my reaction, finding it hard to believe that having known him for nearly ten years I still had no way of contacting him. And I was somewhat surprised at her reaction, too. She was the person that was, according to her, raped by Victor La Pierre/Ladanum in her previous incarnation, and now she was all for us setting off together to confront him! I told him that he could tell his friend that he knew the truth, and at the same time I was struck by a kind of unwholesome curiosity, I want to meet this Ladanum. John doesnt know where to reach him, the cousin (N.B. Lewis) said it would be better to ask Miss Tic (N.B. a psychic friend of Sassys) first. Miss Tic said that yes John was John Stears, and when I talked about Ladanum she blew a fuse! I must stay as far away as possible from this man; hell be the death of me if I see him. As a result, John falls into the same boat, and its a whole new saga that begins. Ladanum as in Harry Potter, hes got a scar like me Harry, and Ladanum is VOLDEMORT, the one we do not name. (Sassy. Notes for her book, mail sent on the 27th November 2006) Miss Tic had the same reaction to Ladanum as Sonia, nine years earlier. Sassy and I nonetheless arranged to meet up at Locronan several days later to pursue our investigations with her uncle, who turned out to be an extremely pleasant, dignified man. Sassy e-mailed me a number of notes from her second novel; e-mails that began to flow thick and fast for the following couple of months. Im with my Uncle at Locronan, were going to see John, much to the disapproval of all (N.B. the family). There he is, sitting on the calvary, a rucksack slung over his shoulder. He is sitting on this cross. He looks like an ado of seventeen, lost in thought. Hes dragging along all his unanswered questions in his rucksack. Hes carrying in his head the fact that Im coming to see him against general advice. Hes carrying this guilt, and at the same time this profound faith that tells him that something is not right. Is he really bad? Why isnt he in this life? Why does he use his love for all the others? I arrive like an annoying tornado of energy wrenching him from his reveries; I kiss him short and sharp, and leave him there 97

with my chaperone Uncle while I run to buy some fags. Ah ha, hes a thousand miles from imagining that Ive seen everything...he just couldnt imagine that if Ive made all of this noise its to prevent him from seeing that Im reading his soul. Mission successful, I really annoy him, I prevent him from listening to his soul and to his heart, and I stop him from knowing, from rediscovering the memory of that previous life. I do it deliberately, I must know first; its only right, Im a girl. My feelings tell me that this guy is not evil, that he has never been so. And me, am I evil? Eek, thats not in the plan! Not me, not Sassy, the one who speaks with Jesus, the one who saves souls, its not possible. Im seized by appalling doubt, and then with a whisk of my magic wand I efface this unbecoming image, and tell myself that we live in order to improve ourselves and so its possible that in the previous life I was a traitor, but John was an idealistic child and unsure of himself, so its fifty-fifty. One point each. I was going to be able to answer this question with him just the same keeping my head high. What had happened? (Extract from The Other side of the Mirror. Received on the 27th November 2006) At the time, (both when I received the e-mail and when I was at Locronan!), I was too engrossed in my own thoughts to note Sassys reservations concerning her previous role. This situation was a classic example of: If you are looking for problems, listen to your head; if you seek the solution, hear your heart! Our ego lives in our head and, like Sassy here, constantly tries to monopolize our attention and distract us from the veritable source of wisdom and understanding our soul that can be heard and felt only by listening to our heart. Reservations that rejoined doubts emanating from her family and close friends concerning me: John must no longer be contacted, he is dangerous and will lead me directly to V. He is his servant... My animal symbol is the magpie (N.B. the French word pie, magpie, also translates as a chatter box in English), and who says magpie says curious, having sworn to the gods that I would no longer communicate with John, my fingers crossed in my pockets...two days later we were on the phone. You dont think a curious magpie worth her salts, that just happens to come across someone with whom she shared a story together in a past life, is going to drop everything and obey? So, its with malicious pleasure that I disobey. He, John, does not play the game, and neither does Jesus for that matter. John doesnt know where to join V so he cant help me, he doesnt want to, thats the truth, and Jesus makes out so that I dont get to notice the word WORKSHOP in December. The more conversations continued with John, and with Jesus, the less I fancied meeting V. There was something cowardly about him that ticked away inside me. Day after day. This cowardliness became evident. I had deliberately eclipsed it, because the femme fatale nature of my ego, the Mata Hari of past lives pushed me to know more... (Extracts from Sassys writings, received on the 23rd November 2006) While Sassy resolutely positioned herself as being John Stears beloved one, I couldnt reconcile her claim with my awareness of the fact that she increasingly 98

annoyed me. We kept on exchanging ideas and information, like two detectives out on some mission to resolve a murder plot, which, in retrospect wasnt far from the mark. But I nonetheless felt an on-going, underlying sense of betrayal. I told her about my visceral rejection of all references to the Malpeste family since I had arrived in Brittany. This was despite the fact that virtually everybody in the whereabouts spoke highly of them in general, in terms of their sociability. There were stories such as that of a baker delivering bread...and returning home the following day having accepted an invitation for a drink! When I thought of the Malpeste family, the recurrent image that came to mind was that of impostors who had inherited the castle by default as opposed to merit. There was a deep-seated resentment in the air; resentment that was not atoned by the fact that the castle had fallen progressively into ruin since their arrival and eventual departure... However, if I believed what Sassy had to say about Stears wholehearted remorse at the loss of his loved one, I still couldnt bring myself to accept the truth behind of the role that she attributed to herself, if only because it contrasted so much with the ambiguity of my sentiments towards her in this life. It was as though she had something to seek pardon for with regard to me, inasmuch as John Stears; akin to the resolution of a karmic debt. This would account for her having saved John Stears soul in 2004. But my overall impression was that she constantly seemed to re-write this past story in order to accommodate her future aspirations and projects concerning me in the present, (which lends credence to the notion that the 'present' is the 'Cause' from which both past and future ensue). Projects and aspirations that, manifestly, I did not share. So, Stears best friend was called Victor La Pierre. However, Sassy's initial fascination for him, that was so spontaneously enthusiastic that it suggested that some antecedent familiarity existed linking the two of them, was subsequently expressed by a sense of cowardliness that she finally identified as belonging to La Pierre himself. The cowardliness of someone who had raped her...before going on to kill her (perhaps) with the aid of two other men! Her first declarations about this extremely sensitive and painful subject suggested that Ladanum had acted alone: ...Why cowardly? John told me the first day, yet it took me more than a month to realize: hed raped me. Rape is the last resort for someone who fails to get what he wants! This meant that neither his charm, nor his intelligence, nor his personality had succeeded in putting me off Stears, so he used the most abject arm possible for a man against a woman: rape. (Sassy notes, sent the 23rd November 2006) This realization was going to lead to the understanding of other related matters, because as a young girl Sassy suffered regularly from nightmares in Leuhan Castle. Nightmares in which someone raped her. She had imagined this person to be the ghost of Stears. And it was only today that she discovered that it was not Stears but Victor Ladanums soul! Energetic rape; energetic Vampirism diabolic vampirism that ceased at the age of puberty. So, she had spent so many years thinking that her very own great-great grandfather, John Stears, had caused her so much harm. Not only harm against her but against her family as well, because there was also question of a

99 pact having been drawn up with the Devil that was attributed to him: I was stupefied to realize that it was not Stears who had raped me and prevented me from becoming what I was intended for, who had rendered my life unsupportable, it was Vs soul. Theres no doubt that it was John Stears soul that I went to seek out in the Sufferance Cave. It was Stears that Abba took warmly in her arms, it was well and truly this innocent child, more guilty of auto-inflicted sufferance, that we went to seek out down there. He asks you for forgiveness for having killed the light in him... And me? V. killed the light in me, around me, he sullied me, he slaughtered me, he soiled my soul, and also my love. He killed me... This woman was no longer dancing; this woman had lost all the magic and joys of life. V. had cut the fabulous ray of light that connected her to Jesus and certainly as well Johns ray... (Op. Cit.) As our relationship went on, Sassy increasingly modified details as if to better accommodate fresh information and clues that confirmed the truth of events, thereby awarding herself the position that she wanted to occupy, at least as regards the past. She subsequently transmitted numerous visions or versions concerning the rape, while never definitively being able to establish her exact identity at the time, apart from being John Stears loved one: ... on your wifes orders, who had learnt about it from V. La Pierre. Before dying, I mentioned the child. As Lady Stears had only had daughters, (N.B. In fact, Lady Stears had three daughters; Marie-Fanny Marcelle, Marie Marthe, and Batrice, and also a son, Morley), this boy put their heritage in danger. You (Stears) were always anxious for me because you knew that there was a risk, so not always easy-going... It was easy for Victor La Pierre, (Ladanum), to tell you that Id gone off with another man. But what gnawed away at you was that you knew that I would never have left without my son. It was on a sunny day during the works that La Pierre took me with him in the wagon with stones in it, he was going to a quarry to look for more, where? I went off with him, leaving my son with a neighbour who lived at Ty Ruz. La Pierre raped me in broad daylight, before killing me (no choice) in the quarry. My remains are still there. Granite quarry where? You (N.B. John Scott) are nearest, you must find it. When you (Stears) came to Leuhan, he told you that hes seen me go off with someone. The neighbour confirmed his story, because when I entrusted her with him, I told her that I was going out with someone and that it was risky for the child. I didnt tell her with whom because she was a servant. La Pierre must have asked me to choose some stones on your behalf... (Sassy e-mail, the 10th December 2006) I told Sassy about the times that I had asked Ladanum for precisions on Stears life, and how he had said that Stears loved one had left him unexpectedly to go and live with his best friend, who had first raped her: Yes, because he lied to you, he knew very well that I didnt go off to live with him, I leapt off a bridge in Brittany just after the rape, you (Stears) never knew,

100 neither about the rape nor the suicide, or was it your best friend that threw me off the bridge having raped me. Its logical, that he should say that SHE left with your best friend, you moped around, you didnt look for the truth, because you were ridiculed... I think that Stears protected me (Sassy-) as well as he could, after, he could do no more against Ladanum... Sadness because he could no longer help me... (Sassy notes, sent by e-mail on the 23rd November 2006) Much later, Sassy was to recount, with no undue pain, torture and rape at the hands of three men, one of whom was Ladanum I had to get back to this famous night in question... All of the invitees to the Masked Ball had to show an invitation card before entering (because being masked, anyone could have entered). After a while I went outside, there was dew on the grass and the stars were shining. Then, three men. I was on the ground, my clothes were torn off me, my mouth was full of blood. I couldnt feel my nose or my mouth. They were probably broken. I see a mans two balls above my head. They are wanking in my face; the other one is in me. I called Mummy and then I could see my body from above, alone, dragging along the grass on its elbows. Then a boot struck me in the head and everything became black. I couldnt understand why you didnt come. I really believed that you were going to save me, but no, you were busy sulking in the house, beside yourself with jealousy. They beat me up and killed me while you were in a mood. Its a horrible experience and I must get over it. I feel/felt profoundly betrayed, and when I called my mother, I understood why I should not have followed you. I knew that I was going to die and I didnt know why, why you didnt come. I even thought that you knew what was going on... (Sassy e-mail on the 10th February 2007) These acts were of a singularly barbarous nature and totally undignified of Man. (A year later, the woman claiming to be Stear's former veritable loved-one was to recount the denouement of her own story. The woman in question is a shaman whose informational and energetic value go a long way to explaining why they would have gone to so great pains (sic) to kill her. She described how these brave men kept her in life for hours and hours, raping and torturing her. And how, in the end, they forced a metal tube down her throat so that she could keep on breathing while they systematically pulverised every bone in her body!)... Mans inhumanity to man Makes countless thousands mourn! (Robert Burns. Man was made to Mourn: A Dirge. 1785) Words fail... ... In the meantime, I was about to learn a number of things in quick succession that were to modify my understanding of my life...or lives. Sassy now recalled John

101 Stears soul that she had saved in 2004; this soul wasnt black with blood on its hands! When she returned energetically to the castle to save his soul the remains of his brains were still plastered on the kitchen wall the other side of the wall where I had been living for the last nine years! Sassy described what she had 'seen': You were lying down, or rather squatting, in the dark, like a path in the woods shaded by trees; you couldnt see anything. Then you were crawling, your face in tears. Stears had red hair and brown eyes I think; you were big over there, long brown curly hair, blue eyed, tall and thin with blue jeans and a black jumper. You were very very handsome, its obviously your soul that I met; I know that its beautiful! Age? The same age as that of all souls including mine, 30 years, maybe 33... After nine days you walked in the sunlight with God, hand in hand, super... Your soul is now fully, powerfully luminous. There you go! (Sassy, 6th November 2006) By the way, I went behind my wall yesterday, to look for the memory of your suicide and I found it. Wow, was it happy to meet me again. Jesus was there, but for the first time he was on my right-hand side, and when I went to search for the memory, there was another memory that fought like the Devil himself, but against Jesus, no way...There was blood on the walls and a partially damaged brain...But its all spick and span now... (Sassy e-mail, the 27th November 2006) She had intervened then, six years after my arrival at the castle. Stears had sunk into a deep depression that lasted for six years (1882-1888), before eventually finding his Waterloo! Exactly the same length of time that I had lived in the dark, as if blindfolded, not knowing where I was going, what I was doing there or why. And Stears soul continued to agonise until 2004, on the other side of the stone wall, immured there by La Pierre. But even more important, Sassy now realized that Stears did not commit suicide; he had been assassinated.

Assassinated!
Assassinated by whom, and for what reason? Assassinated by his best friend with a shotgun, exploding his brains against the wall. Violently assassinated in order to benefit from his former state, or estate, and appropriate a large quantity of the accumulated value of his soul and its related energetic qualities. And this soul was left to agonize in its underground tomb, the castle basement. Another violent death, like that of Stears loved-one six years earlier, with all of their respective energetic fallout that La Pierre intended to perpetuate, life after life, by occulting Stears souls passage while - the ultimate coup de grce - assuring Stears ignominy by writing a pact with the Devil in his name. Finally, assassinated in order to prevent him from realising his mission, having first eliminated the woman who collaborated so closely with him up until the time of the Masked Ball in1882. The masked ball with which La Pierre de-masked Stears, disfiguring him (no question of a stray ball here!) in a bloody, faceless death.

102 The Malpeste family had handed down this story from generation to generation; not only that Stears had committed suicide but that he had also made a pact with the Devil. This pact was allegedly engaged for evil powers in exchange for the cessation of his childrens descendants, and thereby that of the family. For La Pierre intended to inherit for himself the benefits of the family patrimony. Over and above discrediting Stears with the unacceptable social crime of suicide, the realisation of this pact was avoided only by the subsequent intervention of a Voodoo in Haiti who saved in extremis the life of the only descendant of Stears union with Batrice de Tropbriand, namely Mari Antoinette Lydia Batrice de Malapeste. The Manichean nature of the rape and assassination conspiracy of Stears loved one, lived by him as an unexplained and inexplicable disappearance that led him to plunge into a relentless depression for six years followed by, as a bonus, his own 'assassination', were two very good reasons to ensure that Stears would not realize his intended mission on earth during that incarnation. It met a violent end. Today, the same up until now victorious Victor struggled like the Devil to maintain the subterfuge; to continue to imprison this good soul John Stears and veil the true nature of past events, occult all evidence of betrayal and, moreover, do as much as he could to prevent this other John, me, from realising his mission in this life too! A wager that would have appeared to have paid off until 2004 and the liberation of Stears soul. A liberation that would immediately free John Scott from his karmic trap and open up the possibility to pursue his mission that had been up until then interrupted, diverted and betrayed: I left strict instructions that were not applied by my family. Our family has been betrayed. (Message from John Stears via Liliane, on the 27th November 1997) This message, with its reference to family, remains sufficiently ambiguous to merit further investigation. His strict instructions did not reach his family that was thereby unable to apply them? Or did certain individuals conspire with members of the family to apply instructions that did not comply with those of Stears? Or was it simply a question of one member of his family failing to respect his instructions? And what if Sassy had been Lady Stears, at once John Stears civil wife and Victor La Pierres intimate friend and associate? This would go a long way to explaining her immediate desire to re-join Ladanum upon hearing about him in this life. The same Ladanum who had arrived nine years earlier from Siberia to lead me to Brittany in August 1997 for a workshop, only a few miles away from the scene of the crime. Likewise, Sassy too came to look for me at the Castle firstly for my soul in 2004, then live on the 26th October 2006. As she wrote later: Eek, thats not in the plan! Not me, not Sassy, the one who speaks with Jesus, the one who saves souls, its not possible. Im seized by appalling doubt... (Extract from The Other side of the Mirror. Received on the 27th November 2006)

103 But yes, Sassy, it was in the plan! For why would I have to forgive Sassy if she had never previously done anything detrimental to me, if she had not betrayed me in the first place? You were a pawn in Victors game, who knew that we were going to meet again, we would meet up at least once. If you want to overcome the weight of your karma, you must subsequently forgive me, not me today, me from the previous life... (E-mail from Sassy on the 1st November 2006) Otherwise, how else can all of these changes in identity and of the circumstances be justified? At first, she said that she was an Italian dancer, (N.B. John Stears had the title of 'Knight of the Italian Crown' and had studied at Livourne, in Toscany.), who was part of a dance troupe in Brest, and that she had fallen under Stears charm and had remained. Then she was a shaman, who danced on the stones in the clearing and concocted mysterious potions for John Stears. Then a Canadian of American Indian origin... On one occasion, she committed suicide by jumping from Lambzellec viaduct, (which was the birthplace of John Stears and now has become part of Brest). Another time, she was raped and subsequently assassinated in a quarry by Victor La Pierre. Or rather, she had been tortured, raped and then killed by three men at the Masked Ball on the first of May 1882... It is possible that all of these people that Sassy felt or picked up on had existed; she is, after all, a psychic. But given that she was both aristocratic and of American origin in this life, it is more than likely that in this previous life she occupied the personality of a certain Batrice Denis de Keredern de Trobriand, born on the 10th November 1850 in New York and who was later to become Lady Stears: I was Canadian, a mixture of Indian blood, and was part of a veiled comdia del arte theatrical troupe. I was a psychic medium, carefree, head in the clouds. I was with my troupe in Brest, where we met. I dont know whether it was at Ker Stears (N.B. a castle that John Stears senior constructed at Brest). I had a young son by you (N.B. Stears), and who at eighteen months resembled your photograph in your book...(...)... I lived at Leuhan in the Tortoise house, ty an tortue. Thats where you had installed me. You lived elsewhere with your wife and your daughters. I often went to dance on the stones, with my troupes music in mind. I didnt see much of you, which explains the long periods of sadness and the short moments of joy. I was killed during the construction works at Leuhan, by you know who. My child was kept at Leuhan for 18 months, then it was drowned... (N.B. I can confirm the occurrence of a young boys death by drowning in 'my' basement bathroom that had been ordered by a jealous woman, apparently Lady Stears. I liberated his soul in 2006.) But the elimination of John Stears in 1888 had not just retarded him indefinitely in the realisation of his oeuvre. The conditions in which Stears was suppressed were conceived in such a way as to condemn him to err (as opposed to 'steer'!) perpetually in the spheres of ignorance, cut off from all coherent links that

104 could allow him to subsequently resume his past mission. The six years that were spent deploring the inexplicable departure of his loved one meant that the diverse philanthropic projects that he had envisaged, along with other poles of interest, became, like his appetite for life itself, suspended if not reduced to nothing. He already suffered from a bleeding heart...and soon his head was to follow suit! Nothing appeared to bring him back to reason, to be able to understand what had occurred. He found no plausible explanation for what he experienced as being a lovers betrayal and abandon that had come without warning to strike a fatal blow to all of his certitudes. He thought that he had found everything that he needed to achieve his aims in life. He thought that he had discovered felicity and love, up until her fateful disappearance. A woman who did not belong to the wealthy aristocratic world of superficial external appearances. A woman-fairy or magical shaman, whose disappearance brought Stears irrevocably back to face himself and question his true purpose for living on earth: You are not interested in superficial appearance... Above and beyond practical objectives, your preoccupations bring you to question yourself, of the sense and nature of your being. This questioning is likely to be the even more arduous because with Pluto you have neither a model nor supportive help: you will have to find your own truth within yourself and by yourself, at risk of plunging into self obscurity. ...You are likely to know periods of hard restrictions in which all that was conceived of in terms of success, luck and felicity, collapses as if the ground upon which you had built your hopes was nothing but sand or swamp. (Astrological theme of John Stears) There was only one credible source of support for Stears, and that was the very person that was responsible for his undoing. This friend who had told him, (as he was to retell him a hundred odd years later!), that he had seen this loved one go off with someone else. John Stears, and subsequently John Scott, both sought to inform themselves of the 'truth of the matter' and depended exclusively upon the selfsame source of information by referring to their mutual best friend, both equally unaware that they were being duped. Stears plunged into a long night of despair, awaiting his final deliverance. Everything that he had envisaged had crumbled to dust, like a sand castle, and like Leuhan Castle that subsequently almost fell into ruin, his (now mixed) 'descendants' became incapable of maintaining anything more that its shabby, external appearance. I left strict instructions that were not applied by my family. Our family has been betrayed. (Ibid. at 23h30 on the 27th November 1997) His questions were blinded due to an insufficient source of light capable of enlightening the zones of darkness. Failing Divine intervention.

105

13 Mind games
Imagination is not a state: it is the whole of human existence. (William Blake)

A hundred and nine years after the assassination, divine intervention manifested itself in the form of a completely inconceivable encounter with 'my' greatgreat-granddaughter in the very same kitchen basement in which Stears was forced to swallow his final, indigestible meal. Sassy had arrived in great pomp on the 26th October 2006. A big hullabaloo in a short space of time, like a tornado passing through exploding all ramparts in its path and liberating over a century of walled-up despair. Her arrival was indispensable in order to ensure the sudden awareness that ensued and permit the unveiling of mysteries. She had not returned by hazard and she was ill at ease to find herself once again at the castle. She revealed this through a lapsus calami (her desire to remake history) that turned out to be a premonition of her subsequent fluctuating positioning: Hazard brought me back to my fathers place so that I could recover some belongings that had been left nearby for over eleven years. A desire, or rather a force, pushed me to go and visit the castle that had since been sold, just to remake history, and in particular to see the place since I had liberated grand-pas soul. The castle was darker than dark and literally haunted so I was going to get to the bottom of it, the lions at the entrance seemed to have aged, and the one lying down was terribly sad. Like an animal that youd left with someone and which awaited the return of its master, its me the master, and I felt guilty for having left it for so long, it had grown old and weary. The other lion stood guard without much conviction. It was there, thats all. (Sassy. The Other Side of the Mirror. Chapter: John) This Sassy, this mischievous magpie was beginning to become too much! The castle paid homage to alchemy, a practice that consists in cancelling out dispersion. This goes a long way to explaining why Sassy couldnt stand being there. She was herself extremely dispersed by nature, spreading herself thin, saying one thing and doing the opposite and invariably trying to keep control over the other by creating distractions; I feel, briefly remember, my mouth saying things that my brain had not ordered. (In saying that, it doesnt mean to say that as a rule I think before I speak, because I dont know how to...) (Sassy. The Other Side of the Mirror. Chapter: John) Before meeting me on that particular day then, Sassy put her return to the castle down to hazard. Later on, or rather straight away, she knew that we shared a story in common in this place: 107

...All of a sudden Time stopped. He is the reincarnation of my great great grandfather; a psychic had led him here so that he could complete his oeuvre. I told him that he had committed suicide in the next room, because of a woman, that this woman was me, and that I had reincarnated in order to save his blemished soul, which I did three years ago. I didnt teach him anything he did not already know, and even I, I wondered how come he didnt recognize me... John surrounded me with his aura and whisked me off on the tracks of the past, a common past... (Op. Cit.) It was doubly ambiguous that I didnt recognize her. Firstly I did not recognize her for who she was not; in other words for John Stears loved-one. And secondly, I failed to recognize her for being whom she had been in this former common past: Lady Stears herself! This was at the beginning of a frantic three-month period in which Sassy was to turn my head round in circles, mixing up established facts with passing inventions in order to nourish her own vested interests. But her initial reaction to Ladanum, coupled with her visible reluctance to remain in the castles proximity, led me to believe that if she had had a common past with Stears it was one that appeared to indicate an antagonistic relationship rather than one based upon reciprocal love. It was more likely a purely impersonal and conventional (in the strictest sense of the word) relationship that respected the aristocratic norms of the times. Aristocratic norms that were nonetheless to become unconventionally affronted by the subsequent marriage of Lady Stears to a Count who was twenty-five years younger than herself. I continued to try and fathom out some kind of coherent understanding of the link between John Stears past and my present life as John Scott. At the same time, Sassys dynamic if not dispersive functioning stimulated many a reflection and increase in awareness. She had only recently come to realize since her childhood, that Stears was not evil after all. That her family history and her own memory had all been manipulated from beginning to end, in the same way that John Stears had been duped. There I was, feeling almost guilty for having been John Stears in this past life, given the bad press that he seemed to have inspired from all sides, and yet at the same time on a gut level not relating myself at all to the identity that he had been allocated: I knew that I wasnt evil, but I didnt understand where this atrocious sense of loss came from, albeit accompanied by this internal rebellious force, viscerally anti-authoritarian... Why so much emotion? (John, on the 21st November 2006) Following the last workshop that I attended in September 2006, I realised that Ladanum had never made the slightest reference to 'Love', to 'open-heartedness', or to 'Light'! I had been blind. I only saw what I wanted to see, heard what I wanted to hear. I hadnt seen him for who or what he was, there before my eyes. And like my mp3, I hadnt heard him either! What I did hear on occasions was Ladanum saying that if you help others you lose your own energy: 108

Obviously, egoism and egotism are diametrically opposed to...Loves Divine Law, and so even if our own shadows follow us, difficulties are likely to pursue someone who transcends this law. However, the simple truth is that our greatest good lies in the help that we can bring to others, and those with spiritual aspirations really progress when they contribute to others advancement. Such is the law of Love, this glorious cosmic principle under the direction of which each one of the innumerable worlds throughout infinity is made possible, and because the divine force of love itself impregnates them all silently. The quintessence of the Universe is Love, and consequently it is Love that should be incarnated and expressed by each individual... - He who thinks that his life is too important to be given voluntarily in sacrifice to save his brother does not warrant entering in to Life. (Jesus) (The Divine Plan) So, like the alchemist I continued to filter through the impurities with the aim of clarifying the details this murky stuff made of matter, hampered and at times impeded by all of the concomitant emotions. But at least now I knew! And in next to no time, all pandemonium let loose! If I seemed to be suffering from a contrasting mixture of elation and shock in my head, the same confused chaos broke our all around me. I immediately became aware of the presence of powerful, energetic perturbations and attacks from all quarters. The 2nd November marked the ninth anniversary of my arrival in the castle, exactly 125 years after the death of John Stears father in 1881. First, two light bulbs (a new 'source of light', one for each birthday?) exploded in each room. Then the refrigerator and source of food supply broke down and had to be replaced. The portable telephone handset de-polarized (lost its bearings?) and remained cut off. So now this mobile source of communication with the external world, - emission and reception of information - was momentarily grounded and immobilized. I had to substitute it with my original form of communication; the fixed-line, coming down to earth on my terrestrial telephone. And the Internet facility on the computer packed up too: 'virtually' no more contact with the external world! New energies were manifestly Vying' for position with my recent coming to awareness. The very same day I lost all sound on my Bose CD player. What was going on? I had just begun to undo the first of many ties both personal and energetic with Ladanum and his consorts. I had just written and expedited what was to be my latest and last e-mail to the Inter-sidereal Federation of Sibylline Energetic Tsars to terminate my associations affiliation with them: This decision... to rescind all contact with the Federation is accompanied by no bitterness, regret or animosity towards anybody concerned. On the contrary, while it remains essential, irrevocable and without appeal, this decision is taken in a spirit of love and serenity. What is involved here is simply to untie all professional links with the Inter-sidereal Federation of Sibylline Energetic Tsars... I would be grateful if you would respect this wish to the letter... 109

I appreciate that this decision shall stimulate certain questions among some members. Its like The Fool in the Tarot; once he has completed one of his terrestrial paths, he jumps into the void in order to begin another one. I was pleased with the path we followed together, up until now... (Detail of a letter dated the 2nd November 2006) I quickly understood the reason for all of these breakdowns that occurred in the space of a matter of hours. Electricity, telephone, computer, hi-fi, even the gas bottle ran out! These were typical and symptomatic examples of terminations, of freeing up or releasing from spontaneous and habitual forms of dependence. It took me several days to finally get through to the telephone company to register my loss of Internet. Imagine my surprise when I was informed that there was no interruption! I had continued to be connected technically to the Internet, the www/world wide web, without visibly having access to it; in other words, without my conscious knowledge! The computer was connected at base, but there was an anomaly at the 'inter-face' level of the control panel. My contact with the outside world was still intact, simply occulted. An internal suspension veiled appearances. I was eventually able to passively admire the adroit manipulations of the Internet technician as they restored visible contact by reprogramming my computers own hard disc at distance! And all of a sudden it struck me. Of course! That was how Ladanum had manipulated me for all of these years without my knowledge! While I had remained impassive, he intervened to re-programme my personal 'hard disc' and thereby accessing himself into all of my past and present energetic and informational riches, including those of all of the other people with whom I lived or worked with! At the time I worked with approximately eighty people a week in groups alone. He had access to my entire energetic heritage from all past lives, including that of John Stears, not to mention the respective heritages pertaining to my Scott and Tudor ancestry and numerous other past lives. Our informational heritage, be it related to the existent family (genealogical) lines or to our past lives (karmic), is carried through to each fresh incarnation whether or not we remain consciously unaware of its content on a personal level. From this moment onwards, I was going to have to assume and maintain unique control over the distribution of my energy around me. I was going to have to unravel all of the energetic ties with Ladanum and proceed towards my own individuation, once liberated of his shackles. I first had to de-programme everything before reconstructing systems on my own basis. I had to resume control of my situation. This involved disconnecting all plausible direct or indirect links with him throughout all of my personal contacts. All contact with my ancient friends and colleagues in the Inter-sidereal Federation of Sibylline Energetic Tsars was definitively revoked the moment any individual expressed the intention to continue their relationship with Ladanum. Otherwise he would be able to continue to access information from me via the third party. All of his books, notes, papers and so forth were ceremonially burnt. Incombustible objects or ecologically detrimental material such as plastic videos, cassettes or DVDs and so on, were stored in a black suitcase before being incinerated in the communal furnace which, given the historical 110

circumstances, was very appropriately located at Lambzellec John Stears birthplace! I contacted everyone concerned that I knew to inform them of my decision and to offer advice to them where necessary. I visited and re-called all of their books that had been placed for sale in the local bookshops. All possible lines of connection were interrupted and brought to a close. And although I continued to suffer from the shock of this discovery the opportunity to be able to intervene actively in this fashion enabled me to constructively focus my energies instead of dissipating them in negative recriminations or morale-sapping fear. Higher dimension realities have always existed. Its only that today, many of us have become distanced or cut off from their existence, thereby excluding ourselves paradoxically from what is our true, 'multidimensional reality'. However, some (and an increasingly large number of) people have preserved or rediscovered access to these other worlds that can inform us about our real existence, our veritable identity, of our purpose on Earth and all of their respective implications. Unfortunately, the abuse of such faculties can lead to reprogramming a persons evolutionary itinerary in the same way that I saw the hard disc being reprogrammed at distance. Ladanum was one of these people capable of working at distance, given their ability to access to multidimensional worlds, cross time-barriers and generally inform themselves about people and situations at will. There is nothing hostile intended by this statement; it is a simple fact. For example, it is widely known that healers have the capacity to work at distance too. Nonetheless, protocol insists that this type of work should always take place with the tacit and signed permission of the recipient person involved, which is usually written on the back of their photograph. This is an example of the fine line between black and white magic. To work without such permission, even with the very best of intentions, is tantamount to indulging in black magic because there are greater implications involved than those limited to pure protocol or moral considerations. According to Jean Scot rigne: If the nature of demons is evil, it is not evil in itself; because evil is not a corruption of evil, but a corruption of good. The fact that evil takes place so often without our awareness constitutes one good reason why we continue to reincarnate and return to Earth. Because if we were immediately consciously aware of all the stakes involved, of the challenges to understand and overcome, there would be little point in returning here. In fact, there are no more breakdowns in life than there are accidents; every situation serves a purpose and conforms to our expectations in order to facilitate our evolution, even if we are often unaware of their underlying purpose or significance at the time. God is equally the cause of opposites... Because, just as Good pulls those beings from a state of non-existence in order to allow them to exist, Evil seeks to corrupt all beings and to completely destroy them so that they cease to exist. (Jean Scot rigne. De la Division de la Nature. Ed. Puf. Book I & II. 1995. pp. 171-172) 111

So Ladanum was not an accident or a pitfall in my life. It is thanks to him and his role in this and other lives that I came to understand and resolve a certain number of things. But not without first of all facing up to and overcoming the initial fear that surged forth to accompany the new awareness of my situation. Was I going to continue to remain the prisoner of those ancient demons - fear and lack of selfconfidence? Or was I going to decide to open the door that leads to the luminous free expression of lifes potential? He by whom everything became created with such wisdom ingrained in each visible creature teaching and light, in order that their soul could aspire to the intelligence of spiritual questions. (Op. Cit.) And who says light these days says electricity! The human being itself is electro-magnetic. Examples of energetic interference or 'electrical parasitism' such as those experienced at the time were symptomatic of the energetic power-level realignment that is expressed through familiar household and other current forms of energy distribution. I had played the role and fulfilled the function of an 'electric conductor' for Ladanum. Each successive conscious awareness on my behalf was accompanied by a corresponding electrical distortion as the flow of power re-adapted itself to the newly revised conditions. The original destination of the energy was the Power Station Ladanum himself. My coming to awareness in this decidedly electrical context enabled me to switch my attention away from the nourishment of fear-based dependence to the pursuit of confidence and of faith in the forces of life: What could be considered as being miraculous by some is nothing but a metaphysical dynamic that leads to the utilization of natural forces; faith acts both as a magnifying glass and as a conductor, that make this dynamic possible. Just as electricity powerfully present everywhere only becomes effective I the presence of a conductor, so too supernatural power only becomes effective when accompanied by faith, be it faith in the divine intelligence of the Creation, faith in an ideal or even in ones own spiritual nature. History attests to the fact that blind faith can be cultivated quickly and easily among the credulous, those who have needs or desires. For those in search of divine experiences, may it be known that the egotistical, enthusiastic researcher full of exuberance and hope can quite easily encounter base or lower astral frequencies and phenomena and be duped into taking them for spiritual revelations and saintly wisdom. Furthermore, these crafty entities that are the sworn enemy of truth and justice know only too well how faith based on egotistical motivations can be exploited and used as a kind of void sucking into it certain surrounding forces and thereby doting the individual, (or group with which they are linked), with diverse astral and etheric energies that are nothing else but poor imitations of the very superior forces in which their faith had been invested. (Servant of the Divine Plan) As soon as I became aware that I was serving the role of an energetic conductor, I could immediately interrupt the process as simply as turning off an electrical switch and thereby cutting off the current. Or rather, switch on the light to 112

reduce the level of darkness! And the overflowing enthusiasm and blind faith formerly expressed in favour of Ladanum in no way compensated for the loss of awareness of my own divinity, the divine spark that glimmers within each and every one of us. By growing to acknowledge its presence and by cultivating a spirit of fraternity devoid of egotistical aims we can protect ourselves from the menace of energetic parasitism from these crafty incarnated or astral entities. I read into all of these electrical changes a reflection of my own energetic behavioural patterns following the recent revelations that liberated waves of karmic and terrestrial tensions. My Bose CD player sudden gave up the ghost too! I contacted Bose and they immediately arranged for a carrier to come and collect the player for inspection in Belgium. The CD player was duly returned with a 'Repair Report' that indicated that there was no functional default inherent in the system. In other words, there was nothing inherently wrong with me. But the Bose still did not function. Everything had worked perfectly elsewhere, abroad in Belgium, but not at the castle. Once again, I returned the player to them. This time Bose contacted me by telephone (restoration of communication by more direct means) to glean further information. Amongst other things, they wanted to know what the lighting situation was in the room involved, (and was it 'Tropbriand'?! N.B. 'trop brilliant' fr. meaning: 'too bright'). The Bose visual display control panel automatically adjusts its frequency to the ambient 'light density'! As it transpired, there was no deficiency in this particular department... They returned the CD player, accompanied by an additional handset to enable me to grasp hold of the situation anew and re-gain control over it? A new control panel at hand, at no expense to myself. Indeed, this high fidelity system had not let me down. So (who Gnose?) what really the default was with the Bose? This particular Bose was of 'American (as was Lady Stears, Batrice Tropbriand!) origin'; it required a European trip-switch adapter in order to function on the appropriate frequency! There were two available calibrations, and at one point the 'Low' had been nudged across to the 'High', causing system saturation or 'overload'! Nonetheless, during this three-week 'Bose' period, there was a transition from one source of energetic 'nourishment' to another. I had begun to face up to the music, the implications of de-wiring all of my previous connections with what had been music in my ears Ladanum. The source of energy nourishment was in transition from the (up until recently) habitual La Pierre/Ladanum-orientated system, via a dual return (Brittany/Belgium; trip-switch mechanics) in two temporal epochs (1882 and 2006) back down to Earth - the 'Low' frequency band - to the original source. The Bose player, too, returned to its source of creation where it was deemed twice in 'succession' (Stears/Scott) to be intact with no inherent default that persistent research could not unveil. I knew that something was wrong surrounding my (past and present) history at the castle, but I had to wait until I rediscovered my own voice, by listening to the profound internal silence that is located in the heart, at the source, and not within the transmitter. I had to return, in time, to the same place in order to rediscover the awareness of what I had lost sight and sound of: that unwavering calm, internal voice of truth that patiently awaits our attention. My mp3 had forewarned me against the dangers of filling my head with Ladanums ('His Masters 113

Voice'?!) emanations; for prior to this time, I had filled my head, my days and my groups with his voice. At last I was going to be able to resolve this network problem, this communication breakdown. La Pierre/Ladanum had gone to great lengths to orchestrate my demise by interrupting my own 'music' and preventing me from hearing the truth. Scotties choice of my second name, Malcolm, also reveals concealed inherent clues that indicated this underlying desire to impede communication. I learnt later that as soon as Scottie knew that twins were expected he had encouraged my mother to abort. This particular attempt at my life (I was beginning to get used to it by this stage!) proved to be abortive! So, faced with Hobsons choice, he unconsciously inscribed his dissension within this revealing, if not cruel, appraisal of the fateful consequences of both the moment of conceptual ejaculation (to come, v.) and its seminal realisation (come, n.), in the only name (among the nine forenames of us four children) that had been left for him to choose: Malcolm... Mal come!

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14 Cosmic chromosomes in holographic reality

So how could Ladanum have programmed me? Today, our wise scientists can prove that our brain is not as was previously thought; limited to emitting impulsions or 'messages' along a straight lines of axons or by dint of neurones. It is now openly recognized that the brain is capable of freely transmitting information across its internal 'space', in other words without material support from the body. Like a mobile telephone that no longer requires a conducting earth-line with which to ensure communication but which instead transmits its audible (and unhealthily noxious!) waves as freely as the wind. Noxious waves that join a multitude of other communications to criss-cross at will both brain and bodily cellular space. There is no limit, material or otherwise, that prevents the transmission of information-laden waves that weave to the four corners of the Earth and beyond into space. No more than there was an invisible Maginot Line that somehow prevented Chernobyl fallout from crossing the Franco-German border, as government statements claimed at the time! Before Watson and Crick, scientific thought claimed that the genes intelligence was 'fixed' at DNA level, because our DNA was chemically stable. It was thanks to this stability that it was supposed that we inherited genetic characteristics from our ancestors. But the genius of, and the ingenious know-how transported by, neuropeptides and neurotransmitters nowadays transcend the apparently immutable laws of classical physics to re-join antique and our contemporary qu-antique wisdom, that recognize that everything that takes place in the physical world leaves a trace in the Cosmos as a whole. The DNA is the literal vessel through which the illusionary experience of physical, external reality is manufactured...when you are shifting your consciousness and using the imagination to program desired thought-forms into the past, present or future, you are literally reprogramming the frequency patterns of your cellular content and the operational holographic program that will manifest into physical reality through the DNA. (Ashayana Deane, Voyagers. Volume II. Wild Flower Press. 2000. p. 158) In the same way, we are (not only) at once 'actors' within our holographic dream/reality film; we are simultaneously the Director, screen-writer, the dcor, and all other actors and components in the film! ...every cell stores not only memory, in the form of coded electrical impulse, but also stores the very codes of translation, the Keylonta* light-symbol codes. They are the means by which memory is translated into sensual data and the means by which the illusion of three-dimensional reality is manufactured. (Ashayana Deane, Voyagers. Volume I. Wild Flower Press. 2001. p. 128) 115

These 'Keylonta'* Codes govern the activities of the subconscious symbol codes contained within human DNA. They are the intrinsic, interior geometric-electric and magnetic structures that create the foundations of all form and structure within the dimensional systems. A language of light, sound, pulsations and vital energy. And the method whereby form is created and maintained within our system. The language of energy relationships the foundations upon which all of our languages and modes of perception are built. They set everything, then, from the type of body that we will manifest through, the genetics of that body, and also the chemical, hormonal and energetic functions that keep its 'wheels' turning. So, the movement of 'intelligence' needs no material support in order to manifest itself or to realise itself, much less to lose itself . No more than do the movement and disappearance of 'virtual' money in the world of high finance! The process of positron emission by tomography enables the observer and photographer to view a thoughts trace in relief, in holographic form. We can now confirm the ancient wise sayings that have echoed for thousands of years how the body and the mind, the material and the invisible, constitute parallel interactive universes. I am not a human being living a spiritual experience; I am a spiritual being living a human experience. The body is a physical representation of what the mind is in the process of thinking... or rather, of what is in the process of being thought through us! It is less a question of I think, therefore I am, than I am what is thought! I am thought. Because each thought, in this as in any other situation or life, leaves a trace. Cellular memory retains a trace of everything that has happened to us, whether it occurs to us consciously or unconsciously. We know, then, everything about us, even if we are unaware of the fact! By delving deep into our (cellular) memory, by permitting ourselves to genuinely listen to and hear ourselves, we can finally begin to aspire to the adage Man knoweth thyself. Humanity was created as a creator species, which means that thoughts and actions entertained by the human will be met in manifest experience, both on Earth and in the life experiences that take place beyond the earthly planes. The choices one makes in thought and deed will determine the quality of experience, or lack thereof, that will be personally encountered in feeling and event. (Ashayana Deane, Voyagers Volume II. Wild Flower Press. 2000 p; 106) Our brain, like our body as a whole, is capable then of 'picking up' messages without physical intermediary support, (just like a Bose player!). Thought both transcends and creates everything. The universe is thought. Reality is thought. Matter is thought. Our past is thought; our future and our present too. Thought thinks, therefore I am! We are all this thought and all thought is us; nothing separates us, one from another. And I shall continue to be what I think that I am, until my thoughts modify themselves. Until I pierce the veil, seek beyond words, behind appearances. As Descartes did not say: I am thinking 'it', therefore I am Spir-it!

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All of that is human, rivers, mountains, towns and villages, and if you enter them, you travel through the heavens and earth just as you find sky and earth within yourself along with everything else that you perceive; well, even though it seems to be outside, in reality it is within, in your imagination, and this mortal world is only shadow. (William Blake.) Recent discoveries demonstrate how each material cell in the body has the autonomous capacity for thought. Both thought itself and neuropeptides share the same impossible but true characteristics as the waves and particles of quantum physics. 'Light' could not 'logically' be at once photon and mass-less particle but at the same time, a concrete and immaterial wave...could it? Yes, apparently. Because 'logic' belongs to the three-dimensional space-time continuum in which the thinkinghuman being navigates on Earth. However, the object of our thoughts photon, navitron, particle, wave, or big toe in a stream, etc. belongs simultaneously to both material and immaterial, invisible and multi-dimensional worlds. Beyond mere appearances. A ray has a corpuscular structure: it is composed of photons, so there is a wave-particle duality. So this object is described dually, as being both wave and particle: - Daddy, is it a wave or a particle? - Yes. - Daddy, is the electron here or there? - Yes. - Daddy, do scientists really know what they are talking about? - Yes. (Banesh Hoffmann. The Strange Story of Quanta. Ed. Seuil. 1967) Who would have thought! In other words: The perceivable experience of movement, passing time, matter, space, distance between objects and separations of forms is an illusion created by the multidimensional holographic refractions of particles and anti-particles, which pulsate and spin at varying speeds and angular rotations in relation to each other . The movement of particles itself is a holographic illusion; movement only appears to be such when consciousness views itself through the layered prisms of multidimensional order.... All dimensions exist in the same space, but seem to operate separately due to the particle pulsation rates of which they are composed. Particle pulsation rates are created by degrees of angular rotation at which particles and anti-particles spin in relation to each other. (Ashayane Deane. Voyagers. Volume II. Wild Flower Press. 2000. p,129) According to Michel Kaku, light furthermore is a reflection of the Fifth Dimension and is not limited by the confines of Third-dimensional space-time. Scientific 'advances' (which are, in fact, simply recapitulations of ancestral knowledge), in the domain of quantum physics have served to transform the 117

restrained and mechanistic view of the world that hark back to the times when such notions of time and space were considered as stable, immutable and universal references. Today, matter can no longer be dissociated from consciousness, no more than can the intention that colours their interaction. Elementary particles are timeless, beyond time, hopping (from what may continue to be known for conveniences sake as) past, present and future. They are our very own timeless parcels of truth; and it is in this way that, with each nano-instant, the soul transcends the material limitations imposed by our physical vehicle on Earth, our body. So we can no longer be content with, and count on, what we see to verify truth. We need to seek beyond realitys illusory veil to get in touch with whats what, bearing in mind that our thoughts shall conspire to reinforce the vision that we have initially envisaged. As long as I resisted all questioning of the reality and authenticity of Ladanums friendship, I remained imprisoned, in the dark so to speak. And as long as nobody sought beyond appearances (and his tomb) to question what had been said and done concerning the life of John Stears, the truth remained veiled and mute. Meanwhile, if our brain is capable of receiving signals and messages without recourse to intermediaries and if our world is constituted of thought-energy beyond its material appearance, this means that we are (all) capable of receiving all thoughts and all impulsions that are directed to us...whether or not we solicit them. We are rather like radio sets; we are capable of picking up all kinds of frequencies on a variety of wavelengths, but our consciousness is usually only 'tuned in' to one of them at a time. In other words, we are unconscious of the multitude of information flowing to and through us at each instant. But our each one of our cells, which has its own autonomous intelligence system, has thousands of receiver sites even though only one or two of them can be interrogated and their messages translated at any one time. A bit like the particles and waves that never simultaneously constitute the 'same thing' at the same time, (...or in the same space-time or moment-time), depending upon our 'point of view'. We either 'see' a wave or see a particle. The same thing applies when considering the reception of 'malicious' information that is directed at us for ill-intentioned or evil purposes. Our cells pick up and absorb all of the 'attacks' and wounds that the body experiences quite independently of our consciousness. And these marks remain beyond time, nonetheless ready to remount to the surface, in the same way that scars originating from previous wartime torture situations may once again 'reappear' while the person is under hypnosis. Scars the traces of which remain at the heart of cellular memory as if they were carved in stone. At the heart of the memories of the collective consciousness, together with Akashic records which link all of us to one another through a morphogenetic field. The morphogenetic field being the form-holding energy constructions that allow matter and anti-matter particles to build into individuated form: Particles and anti-particles are composed of units of multidimensional sound or tones, and within each frequency band there are base tones and overtones. The process of merging particles and anti-particles in order to create the merging of 118

frequency patterns is the process of bringing together base tones and overtones that emerged out of the same morphogenetic field. When base tone and overtone merge, a resonant tone is created, through which particle and anti-particle merge, and transmute into pure energy. They return to the morphogenetic field carrying with them the new frequency patterns that they picked up from the Unified Field of the dimension in which they appeared, which in turn expands and adds energy to the original morphogenetic field. When the particles and anti-particles are next expressed into manifestation, they will appear within the next frequency band up, as their rate of vibration was increased by adding the frequency patterns from the dimension they just left. It is through this process of building dimensional frequencies into morphogenetic field, through the merging of particles and antiparticles, that matter forms evolve up through the dimensional scale. ...The morphogenetic field of a person exists as part of the larger morphogenetic field of the planet, and so when a planet approaches the dimensional blending point in its time cycle, the people on the planet also reach that point. People's bodies and consciousness are composed of energy particles, and when the planet approaches transition and transmutation of some of its particles, people on the planet will also undergo this particle transmission. (Ashayana Deane, Voyagers Volume II. Wild Flower Press. 2000 pp. 40-41)

And so it is with the universal hologram as it brings its multiple facets to light, (photographic) clich by clich, nonetheless united in a Whole, as One. Here is the summit of the iceberg that peeps through a chink of the surface of appearances to monopolize our attention and thereby occulting its underlying, fundamental foundations. Foundations that are hidden from the light of day, even though equally necessary for the realisation of the oeuvre. Everything is linked and is part of the Whole. Each life, every situation and every person are part of a morphogenetic whole, part of a whole at each moment that in turn contains all Time. Just as each cell in the physical body contains all of the information required to produce another physical body. The complex organisation of all (holos) requires the inscription (engramme) of everything (hologram) and all of its integral, nonetheless integral, parts. Thus, the organisational complexity of the all requires the organisational complexity of its constituent parts, which in turn require recursively the overall organisational complexity of the all. Each part has its specificities but they are not so much pure elements or fragments of a whole they are at the same time virtual microalls. (Franois Terrin. http://www.cvconseils.com/laser.html) If I had been who I thought I was, I could have become what Ladanum left me to believe that I was a gutless (and almost headless!) suicide. When I heard this 'best-friend' of mine recount that 'suicides' were cowards, a statement that corroborates certain religious dogmas and their notions of sin, I believed him. Energetically speaking, it is true to say that a suicide does not resolve anything for the person as far as escaping the suffering that they are undergoing is concerned. 119

Because once they arrive in the invisible spheres, they find themselves in an equally inhospitable environment, enough to deter the strongest of souls. And due to the fact that our body on Earth is not us but merely our vehicle, the suicide finds themselves obliged to continue, but without a body this time, thereby lacking the means either to solicit or explicit terrestrial intervention. And then, after a relatively short lapse of time when they return to reincarnate on earth, they will have to face up to some even more difficult and unbearable challenges. Just as long as it takes for them to finally take things in hand. To recognize that they are the one, on the level of their soul, who is not only responsible for having conceived of these challenges but that has also provided themselves (somewhere, somehow it is up to them to discover) with the means to resolve them. Each of our 'lives' represents but a 'day' among the countless lives that constitute our accumulated, simultaneous existences. A suicide will continue to 'live' the same suffering and repeat the same fears and pains, only and more intensively, for as long as their preceding life would have otherwise endured. They remain related to Earth, even though they have no body. Religions discourage this practice in order to maintain the constituent numbers of their troupe on Earth to aliment their egregores. Maintain a level of fear and guilt within the troupe, yes, but not to the point that it loses its head! A modus operandi that applies to all sectarian movements. Ladanum was even less fraternal. He not only inculcated but, what is more, assured the continued nourishment of a sense of failure within me. I was left to make the most of the uninspiring image of a John Stears completely desolate and weakwilled to the point of abandoning life itself. I continued to ignore all of the other facets of Stears 'micro all'. Emotions alimented by the underlying fears of daily life prevented me from getting back in touch with my profound feelings, my intuition and my original 'strong intention'. This intention that invited me to call myself into question Vitriolum but also my perception of reality such as I perceived it. Not only the perception of contemporary reality but those of my past and future too...

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15 Alpha and Omega:

...by way of a conclusion (28/06/1842-2/11/2006) AmO... was initially written in anger and out of fear that eventually became transmuted into compassionate acceptance, once and for all. AmO... here invites us to encounter the multiple facets of Self, above and beyond simple egotistic concerns. It constitutes a call towards recognizing and loving 'Oneself' in order to be able to fully love others - these others who are none 'other' than ourselves! Because Man comprises two natures their manifested human nature and their omnipresent, divine nature: Therein lies all of the enigmas and mysteries that are connected to man. It involves first and foremost the mystery of the homo-divinity, which is a paradox that escapes all rational expression. The person is only a human being inasmuch as they are at the same time humano-divine. The divine element of a human being resides in their freedom and independence in face of the objective world. Nicholas Berdiaev. De lesclavage et de la libert de lhomme. Paris. 1946) 121

The significance of encounters is only too often occulted by the primacy that is accorded to the more ephemeral considerations of life on earth. Or as it was in my case, through the encounter with the realms of my own darkness conveniently projected upon others in order to more easily identify and overcome them! Nonetheless, we are all an 'I'; an 'I' that lives and expresses itself simultaneously in two worlds; one immortal (the Self), the other mortal (myself). We live simultaneously in the eternal, invisible multidimensional worlds and in this other more tangible, visible world of so-called objective reality. And our constituent subatomic parts live in both! These worlds are not opposed to one another, but different: one is for always, and cannot change itself, the other never is, being always in the process of being born. The eternal world, the image of the visible world, is identical to the world of Ideas; the other, subject to perpetual change, represents matter. It was in this sense that Plato distinguished the worlds Soul from the worlds body. (Marie-Magdelaine Davy. La Connaissance de Soi. Ed. Puf. 2008. pp. 107-8) The multiple facets of the unique are always One. The same applies to us. The moment that I love... unconditionally, I love myself, the other and accordingly all and everything reciprocally. Love, the beloved, the lover are all One. (Op; Cit. p. 81) Each and every one of us is this 'I' reunited in the same 'One'; one word that creates all. The 'Verb' that creates everything from nothing, for everyone and everything, everywhere forever. A 'One' that presupposes the eternal presence of the Divine in and of all things. The Verb that comes from God and which expresses itself through Man who is thereby the active and divine intermediary between Heaven and Earth, this 'field of know-ledge': The Verb, it is the Greek word for Logos that Heraclites and the Stoic philosophers called the active and divine principle of the world, the sovereign and imminent reason for the Universe, the organic link between all beings... Philon magnified the notion of Logos; a force emanating from God, and above all else the beings essence, the God as One, (that) which subsists by itself, the principle of order, the reason for harmony, the intermediary of the Creator and the created world, divine guardian of creation... I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. (Jean Phaure. Le Cycle de lHumanit Adamique. Ed. Dervy. 1996. p. 357) AmO... is a word that symbolises Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end of Space and Time that are implicit in the unconditional, timeless statement I love.... Because there is no longer question of enclosing and limiting this Love to one person or thing in particular, to a specific instant or to an epoch. AmO... announces the end of dualities such as those expressed by the terms love/hate, good/evil, light/darkness, that all belong to three-dimensional terrestrial space-time. 122

A word representing the relay point that unites human and divine Man, the passage from terrestrial illusion to a state of Divinity. The end of space-time, (but not the end of the World!), that has been announced by a variety of sources for the 21st December 2012. The symbolic unveiling of the fear-based 'holographic illusion' of terrestrial reality in order to bring to light the vibrant multi-dimensional nature of multi-realities and the concurrent reality of Mans own multi-dimensional nature itself. The letter, 'A' for AmO... aleph, the first letter of the alphabet and name of the first Man, Adam creates 'All' starting from nothing. This nothing, zero, primal chaos, is symbolised by the final cyclical 'O' that represents and includes at the same time their opposite: 'All'. All united in 'One' via the median 'm'; the first letter of 'Man' as mediator between Heaven and Earth and the central letter of the alphabet, the thirteenth. The number thirteen itself is symbolic of 'initiatory death' that here qualifies Mans central position and function during life on Earth between Original Creation and Eternal realisation. William Blake writes: ...Amazd in fear I each particle gazed, astonishd, amazd ; For each was a man Human-formd. Swift I ran, For they beckoned to me Remote by the sea, Saying : Each grain of sand, Every stone on the land, Each rock and each hill, Each fountain and rill, Each herb and each tree, Mountain, hill, Earth and sea, Could, meteor & star, Are men seen afar.... (William Blake. A New Life.) On the 2nd November 2006, I realized that my idea of love was equally imaginary - an illusion. A sad illusion because it was based on the principle of duality that inevitably served to nourish my corresponding fears and lack of confidence. I navely thought that Man was capable of promoting Love in Earths space-time context without automatically, incurring the very opposite and preventing the realisation of this Love. Because paradoxically, by seeking to help or to love the other, we magnify dualitys hold over us that proclaims that we are 'other', another, as opposed to being 'One'. We thereby reinforce the very duality that prevents us from being ourselves by perpetuating the dual illusion of difference: good/evil; self/other. Whence this warning (also still so widely misunderstood?) against the human spirits duality trap: For the good that I would, I do not; but the evil which I would not, that I do.

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I do not do the good that I would, and commit the evil that I would not. (Saint Paul. Epistle to the Romans. Chapter 7) However, there is light to be seen at the end of the tunnel: Once we transcend perceptions of dimensionality, of space-time, once the distortions caused by fear are resolved, love is all that remains. Compassionate love is our true nature, and it is all that rests once we become healed of illusions. (Gregg Braden. Lveil au Point Zero. Ed. Ariane. 1998. p. 188) I had been afraid of losing the base upon which I had spent years reconstructing myself. I found myself invaded by visceral fear! But almost immediately I decided to confront the situation head on and to face up to myself and my fears, to others and to theirs. I finally came to understand that the opposite of love is not hatred but fear. These primordial fears that had remounted the ages of time to rediscover their very source wallowing, like Stears in his basement, in my deepest depths. That to continue to nourish this fear was to continue to nourish and remain the prey of the Forces of darkness! That each time fear comes to interfere (enter fear,) with our life it replaces Love and occults it. And what's more, each time we fall foul to fear we reinforce implicitly the Forces of darkness because they nourish themselves on our fear! Because if life is change and evolution, fear inhibits and stifles it. It freezes all creativity and occults our divine nature in the process while awaiting the arrival of our analytical mind to decrypt it. And even if our mind manages to help us to understand certain things on occasions, more often than not it serves to nourish our fears instead of finding appropriate and adequate solutions for them. The dynamic that operates so insidiously between the individual and their fears is symbolic of the historical appropriation of Humanity by the Forces of darkness. The relentless dissemination of fear in all domains of life only serves to maintain Man in a state of ignorance that leaves him dispossessed of his true nature. Today, I no longer fear losing what I took to be certitudes. Life and death, light and darkness, march hand in hand on Earth. Heraclites declared: In honouring the God of life, Dionysus, I honour at the same time the God of death, Hades; they are the same; one is only conceived through the other. I told myself that if only I could take faith in the inherent wisdom and love that resides in life, fear would be reduced to a simple warning, an occasional reminder of my state of affairs and of the level of my complacency in face life. The punctual manifestation of fear would serve to reactivate my vigilance. It would come as an invitation to listen carefully to its message and understand its reason for being, instead of adopting it and automatically becoming this fear itself. My encounter with Ladanum was an encounter with my Dark or Malevolent side; the mal ('evil': he vile ?, that is veiled in a mirror-image of the life-process 124

itself: 'evil/live') and dissimulated within 'Malcol' that eventually comes to light, issue of the fear and rage of my immediate, paternal entourage upon whom I was seen to cast a shadow from the depths of my median name ('nom' fr.), my nominal navel (I was 'conceived' at sea, and 'navel' is French for 'nombril') striking ominous umbilical discord from within my own nomenclature! But there was absolutely no ('mal' fr.) evil intended: Areopagite specified that the essence itself of Good consists of creating and conserving the existence of beings, whereas Evil aspires to corrupt and annihilate the existence of beings, without ever succeeding. There is, therefore, no absolute evil/'mal', because such evil would annihilate itself. Evil, taken as such, can never be absolutely bad, but paradoxically participates to the Good; because evil is accountable to Good, for the scarce bit of being that it possesses within it... (Jean Scot rigne. De la Division de la Nature: Periphyseon. Books I & II. Ed. Puf.1995. pp. 242-243) We can be grateful to the Forces of darkness that implicitly invite us to discover a certain number of our weaknesses and that subsequently provide us with occasions to rectify them. By bringing them to light and to consciousness we can learn to see beyond the shadows and evil, learn to perceive beyond these transitory clouds that momentarily occult the sunlight and which after all said and done are only there in order to enable us to clarify things, to incite us to see the light. Without a shadow of doubt! As long as I continued to function in a dual manner, I also continued not only to nourish my pains and accumulate resultant karma thereby ensuring myself an endless life cycle on Earth. Because as soon as we think in terms of otherness we immediately collude with those very forces that characterise and promote the dual illusion. As soon as I realized that, by wishing to impose my own will I was simultaneously enforcing its very opposite, it became possible to adopt an alternative mode of functioning. The goodwill in this world maintains bad will, and vice versa. All of these dualities are but illusions created by the duality of spirit. It is the snare that is inherent to this ego of ours that considers itself separate from the other and does everything in its power to affirm its difference, thereby alimenting dualism for its survival. The exact opposite of: Do unto others as you would have others do unto you... (Jesus). In fact, 'Absolute Truth' contains neither good nor evil it simply is! And it is to be found in the heart, not in the head! I now began to open up my heart to life instead of privileging the primacy of mental activation. Oh dear, I wasn't going to be that 'gentle little Jesus' who so much wanted to do good around him. But by trying to cultivate a disinterested openness accompanied by an increasing awareness of my innate divine nature, I hoped to nourish confidence in the ultimate goodwill of life. Divine Love would thereby be able to express itself through me. All that I needed to do was to try and live life in the same way that healing expresses itself through me. In other words, to open myself up disinterestedly in order to enable the passage of Loves energy to expresses itself through me without having recourse to dual, 125

directive and corrupt mental intervention. For, corruption, once it can no longer corrupt, dies away by itself. (Jean Scot rigne. Periphyseon. Books IV. Ed. Puf. 2000. 957AB) Victor Ladanum, I forgive you for all the harm that I have done to myself. I send to you Light and Love for all of Eternity. Rest in peace, but Get thee behind me... Eternally; (ether n ally)...

AmO...

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16 Epilogue: Omega and Alpha

(27/07/2007Bring not from the illusion of light, smoke, but bring from smoke glorious Light (John Stears) Nine months later to the day, following my karmic 'rays'- solution of the 26th October 2006 and my discovery of the true identity of Victor La Pierre/Ladanum, I found myself once again at Timurti, on the 27th July 2007. It was another day of 're-cognition'. Here I met a shaman who claimed to be the veritable loved one of John Stears, and she 'recognized' me. So there we were, reunited once more after 125 years! This appeared to be formal confirmation that Sassy had never been the person whom she had claimed to be in Stear's life. Did this now mean that I would be able to shed full light on the Truth?... In the meantime, John Stears soul rests in peace as opposed to in pieces, liberated from the grips of the Forces of darkness. And I continue to advance on my quest of unconditional Love and the realisation of AmO...: ...from illusion towards glorious Light.

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BIBLIOGRAPHY

Ambelain Robert, La Kabale pratique. Ed. Niclaus. 1951. Beauchard Jean, Le Tarot des Alchimistes. Ed. Vga. 2006. Brault Marc, La Lune Noire. Ed. Rocher. 2000. Berdiaev Nicholas, De lesclavage et de la Libert de lhomme. Paris. 1939. Big Luc, Petit Dictionnaire en langue doiseaux. Ed. Janus. 2006. Bovin Jacques, Mgalithes Lieu dnergie. Ed. Mosaques. 1995. Braden Gregg, Le Code de Dieu. Ed. Ariane. 2004. Braden Gegg, Lveil du Point Zro. Ed. Ariane. 1998. Cazanave Michael, Encyclopdie des Symboles. Ed. Pochotque. 1989. Coquelle Dominique, Les Traces dOr. Ed. TrajectoirE. 1997. Christel Alain-Victor, La matrise des Nombres. Ed. Guy Trdaniel. 1994. Davy Marie-Magdelaine, La connaissance de soi. Ed. Puf. 2008. Deane Ashayana, Voyagers. Volume I. Wild Flower Press. 2001. Deane Ashayana, Voyagers. Voume II. Wild Flower Press. 2000. Delclos Marie & Caradeau Jean-Luc, Symbolisme du Corps. Ed. TrajectoirE. 2007. Durville Henri, Au Seuil de lInitiation. Ed. Chapitre. 2002. Eliot T. S., Fout Quartets, Burnt Norton . Ed. Faber & Faber. 1962. rigne Jean Scot, De la Division de la Nature Periphyseon I & II. Ed. Puf. 1995. rigne Jean Scot, De la Division de la Nature Periphyseon IV. Ed. Puf. 2000. Freitas Lima de, 515 Le Lieu du Miroir. Ed. Albin Michel. 1993. Fulcanelli, Les Demeures Philosophales. Ed. Pauvert. 1964. Hoffmann Banesh, Ltrange Histoire des Quanta. Ed. Seuil. 1967. Jodorowsky Alexandre & Costa Marianne, La Voie du Tarot. Ed. Albin Michel. 2004. Manoury Pierre, Encyclopdie du chamanisme. Ed. TrajectoirE. 2006. Nietzsche Friedrich, The Gay Science. Ed. Vintage Books. 1974. Phaure Jean, Le Cycle de lHumanit Adamique. Ed. Dervy. 1996. Skinner Stephen, Gomtrie Sacre. Ed. Vga.2006. Sdir Paul, Les Amitis Spirituelles. Bibliothque des Amitis Spirituelles. Silvestre-Haeberle Colette, ABC de la symbolique du Tarot. Ed. Grancher. 1992.

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16

Karmic sentence is passed/past Astrological warnings Astral logical dawning Consecration Leuhan Castle Multi-dimensional synchronicities True healing - AmO... Any two which ways Clarifications in the clearing Sartori ration point Karmic resolutions Energetic Vampirism Mind games Cosmic chromosomes in holographic reality Alpha and Omega Epilogue Bibliography Table of Contents

9 13 21 29 35 47 55 65 73 81 89 97 107 115 121 127 129 131

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You are welcome to contact John if you so wish on: jscott.amo@gmail.com

'AmO...' has been published in French by Amalthe Editions (Nantes 2010) Details can be obtained by contacting : communications@editions-amalthee.com

Editions Amalthe 2 Rue Crucy 44005-NANTES FRANCE. Telephone : (00 33) 204 075 8843 (Mr. Yoann Chefdor) www.editions-amalthee.com/