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DISCLAIMER:
I shouldnt have to say this, but its true: Remember, you and only you are responsible for your actions and behaviors. To be crystal clear the author and publisher of this book disclaim any responsibility for how you choose to use this material. Its always your responsibility to make sure that the actions you take with women are legal and consensual.
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Tip #5 -- The most effective strategy for getting women ........................................8 Tip #6 -- How to get a woman into a more intimate mindset .................................. 10 Tip #7 -- Dont wait for a woman to initiate ................................................... 11 Tip #8 -- Two BIG mistakes a guy can make with women ..................................... 12 Tip #9 -- Should you ever try to win back an ex-girlfriend?
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Tip #1 -- Get the complete attitude, not just a bunch of separate strategies.
If theres one message I can get across to you, its that you need to avoid using only clever tricks for picking up women. These tips youre about to read all work, but they require a certain attitude to back them up, or a woman will see straight through you. The word you need to learn is congruence. This means that your actions match your inner beliefs. Im sure youve met someone that didnt seem to actually be on the inside what they were presenting on the outside.
Keep in mind that women have a very heightened sense of radar for this sort of thing, and they can see things about your behavior that you had no idea you were communicating. So while youre reading these strategies and tips, remember that there is an underlying attitude to be developed as well. Dont just emulate a bunch of tricks and tips and hope to come off with this congruence. It doesnt work that way. You need to effectively present the complete attitude so that you can understand from the bottom up what a woman looks for in a man.
To get better at the game of dating and seduction, think of it being something like when Michael Jordan decided he wanted to switch from basketball to baseball. Remember way back when Michael tried playing ball in the major leagues, but he had to go back to the minors to prove himself? You need to understand that YOU have to go back to the minor league, too. You need to get a few bumps and bruises, and then you can deal with her in the major leagues. (Unlike Michael, you CAN and WILL make it to the major leagues in this sport if you keep learning and improving.) So how do you manage the pain? First of all, realize that the only pain you feel when you're out there in the "dating" world is all self-induced. You are the one making yourself feel bad or inadequate 95% of the time. Understand that most women never do the things you are afraid of just for walking up and talking to her, like slapping you or throwing a drink in your face. As long as you're not a complete idiot and don't come on too strong, women will give you a chance about 90+% of the time. All of the rejection youre so worried about is imagined, and absolutely none of it reflects on you as a person. So how do you contend with the constant disappointment and mixed messages? Pain Management is your answer. Set a threshold of emotional investment with women so that you limit your potential pain from them. If you find it difficult to flirt and hit on the ladies because it's too painful, back off a bit. Just say "Hi!" as you pass them on the street. Reduce your energy output so that you don't feel intimidated by her response. When you get sufficiently recharged, then you can start to risk more contact with her again, and you'll feel more up to the challenge. Another form of pain management is to ensure that you interpret women's reactions correctly. It's easy and tempting to read too much into her behavior, and even more difficult to not take her reactions too seriously. Remember that while you're trying to get into her bed, you should never try to get into her head. You need to keep your observation of her behavior based only on the results you get. Watch only what she does, not what she says. Her actions will tell you what she is feeling, even when her words seem confusing and contradictory. If you get caught up in the game of trying to figure out why she didn't call, or why she always flirts with other guys when you're around, you'll create a lot of pain for yourself. Stay as detached from her as possible at the early stages so you can avoid getting misled and confused.
The primary rule for pain management is the same as it is on Wall Street: Only invest as much as you can afford to lose. Too many guys get into trouble by putting too much of an emotional investment out there, and then when they don't get the response they feel entitled to, they turn bitter and angry. Don't make this mistake. Manage your pain, and you'll be able to stay in the game longer, and your endurance and tolerance will rise dramatically - as will your results. You'll feel your insecurities around women fade away with each step you take. And remember: Pain is nothing more than the sensation of weakness leaving your body. Manage your pain and youll be able to improve by leaps and bounds.
You end up spending ten times more effort (with very little hope of return) on this gal, when there are millions of other women are waiting out there that you could start out with the right way from the start. Again, this goes back to a mans thinking. If he believes there are no other women out there, or he thinks he lacks the skill to go meet them, hell fall back on the women he already knows. Partly because hes built her up in his head so much that hes pushed himself into love with her, and partly because hes brainwashed himself into believing that this woman is so fantastic. Women do not like to ruin friendships. Period. And thats most of the reason they would avoid going into the romantic zone with men theyre already friends with. And the reason a woman only considers a man a friend is that hes already failed to push her attraction mechanism buttons to get her interested. Her nervous system has already tuned you out. Now, it can be done, but it requires a real cocky attitude that isnt afraid to tease her and amp up the sexual tension between them. And the guy has to be willing to lose her as a friend to do it. In fact, he has to be willing to give her up first, and say, You know, Tina, I think wed be really good together. So Im afraid I cant be just friends with you anymore. Maybe well find that spark between us if we dont have that getting in our way. But, again, this takes an almost complete turnaround in attitude on the part of the man, so that she can see his Alpha characteristics. Instead of wasting all that time and energy on a low probability of return, why not place your odds on a winning game? Use my strategies and tips to get her attracted right from the start, and youll have no problems that will put you in the Lets just be friends category. Remember, guys, the friends first myth will sink you. She has to feel powerful sexual attraction first.
If you don't have a well-developed funny bone, now is the time to work on it. Consider this: Not very many people are funny. I've gone to stand-up routines where I sat there feeling horribly embarrassed for the comedian and his feeble attempt at jokes. I realized that true comedy, on the level of the old Eddie Murphy or Robin Williams, is pretty rare. So don't feel bad at all if you're not a one-man laugh machine. You don't have to be a great comedian to get women to laugh. The interesting thing is that most women will laugh with you out of sheer nervousness; all they need is a gentle poke in the ribs. Humor conveys many different things. It shows a certain level of relaxed selfconfidence all its own. You can't demonstrate a sense of humor without displaying a little confidence at the same time. Humor also shows you don't take life too seriously, and that you're not so intense that you can't crack a joke about the silly parts of life around you. It lets a woman know she can breathe a little and not be so intense and serious. The best kind of humor to use is teasing. You have to be judicious about its use, but a good tease gets a woman's attraction started, and it also demonstrates a great deal of challenge to her. Teasing can be done as lighthearted fun, or used as what some refer to as a "negative hit." Teasing lets a woman know you arent intimidated by her, and you have your own source of confidence. This is immensely powerful in attracting a woman. The second part of this strategy is what I call the sexual tug-of-war, or The Dance. There is a pattern here that you need to recognize so you'll understand why setbacks occur and why they should not trouble you in the slightest. Inspiring a woman's attraction is a dance. You, as the man, are required to initiate. It's a fact, and its another one of my Truth principles. Remember those old dance diagrams that show you the outlines of shoes on the floor and numbers to tell you where to step? Well, here's your dance pattern: The dance of interaction you want to achieve with a woman is always two steps forward and one step back. And the rhythm is slow and unhurried. For every two advances and initiations you take with her, you must be willing to stop and step back, giving her space to breathe.
It's amazing what a little space to think will do for a woman's attitude when it comes to appreciation and her recognizing what you have to offer. Most men are afraid to put this to work for them, afraid that if they back off or let up on the intensity of their romantic assault on the women, she will lose interest and forget about him. The opposite is actually true. By backing off and giving her space at a strategic point where you sense that she might be feeling a bit closed-in and maybe even smothered by your advances, you will give her the room she needs to breathe, think, and start to miss you. Once you've established an initial attraction, and if you have been able to keep a good level of trust without losing your mystery and challenge with her, a woman will want to find out more about you. Very often, she just needs you to step back and let her know that you're not going to run her over. This will give her added comfort and trust in you, as well as demonstrating that you have self-discipline and self-confidence. Only needy and insecure men overwhelm women with a constant barrage of affection. You show your interest with hints, not beating her over the head. If you've been dating a woman for a while and find that you have reached a stalemate, where she appears to be resisting all further advances, your best bet is always a strategic withdrawal. Take a step back and apply your self-discipline. Give her an opportunity to miss you before you head back in and go after her again.
Let's put it this way, it's better to hold back too much than to make the mistake of demonstrating physical attention too soon or inappropriately. For the end of a first meeting, I usually go for a quick hug, which lets her know that I'm not needy, and that I'm confident enough to demonstrate a little touch. Balance your distance with a measured amount of flirtatious behavior, just enough so she doesn't think you're a cold fish. The objective is to give her just a little less physical attention than she desires initially. On the first meeting, you should make one or two small kino (short for Kinesthetic) maneuvers. The best one is a simple and brief touch to her arm or shoulder. EXAMPLE: If you're in a Starbucks and you need some more sugar for your coffee, get up, start to walk around her, and then place your hand on her back gently as you ask her if there's anything you can get her. Remove your hand after a second. Don't linger too long, or you'll defuse the power and possibly risk her discomfort. Or, if you both have to cross a street, offer her your arm. She will be impressed. What you want to do is build up her anticipation. Every woman wants to know what the mans touch feels like, the sensation of his skin against hers. There's a great deal of power in the novelty of this the newness. She hasn't touched you before, and part of your job is to keep her wondering about it long enough that she will respond positively when you do. You tease this part of her mind when you give her an unexpected hint of what is to come. Don't touch her too early, and make sure the touch is no longer than a second, so that she knows you're not going to start pawing her. Build her desire through anticipation.
So you cannot wait for her to make the advance on you. It never pays to wait for the woman to initiate. A man (an ALPHA Man) must always be ready and willing to act. A woman will only initiate when her own level of desire for something overcomes her internal mental limits, and when she feels that she has been liberated of judgment by others. A lot of guys wish women would initiate sex, but thats not likely to happen until a woman has established a relationship where she can feel trust, or pulled her so far out of her environment that she can feel liberated of her inhibitions. In the beginning, you have to be willing to risk making the moves.
Again, as we spoke about with the friends situation, a man could get 5 new women for every ex-girlfriend he tries to regain. This is a symptom of one-itis, where a man believes that this woman is the one for him. Hes blinded by insecurity and scarcity thinking. He has to root out the behaviors that created this situation first, and get his manhood back in place first. Pursuing an ex without repairing the fault is like pulling off the road when your car overheats, and then trying to start it up and drive it right away. You have to find out why things went wrong and fix them or youll blow it all over again perhaps for good. The only situation where it may make sense to get with an ex is when the man broke it off with her, and he decides its worth trying again. Not because he couldnt find anyone else, but because he now understands that she was actually a better fit than he originally imagined.
Fourth, your eyes can communicate an incredible amount of information. Eye contact is a short-cut to female responsiveness. When you lock eyes with a woman, you're saying, "I'm interested, and Im confident enough to show it.
You'll find that the more you do this, the easier it gets. And it will radically improve your game with women.
Carlos Xuma is one of the most popular online advisors for men. His sites Dating The Seduction Method (http://www.seductionmethod.com), Alpha Man Seduction Dynamics (http://www.datingdynamics.com), (http://www.alphaseduction.com) offer men a variety of resources to improve their dating and sex life. The e-books give you the vital reference information you need to get more women in your life. His Advanced Audio Coaching gives you monthly advice on a variety of dating topics, with exercises and examples of effective tactics to use.
Publishers Note: This is just a very short excerpt from Carlos Top 28 Dating Tips that he so unselfishly revealed in his contribution to this book. If you liked what youve just read wait til you see whats actually INSIDE the full complete version of the Nets Best-Selling dating compilation book The 28 Surefire Ways To Instant Dating Success! In it, youll discover TONS (over 300+ to be exact!) of the latest tips, tricks and techniques from the Nets most promising dating authors that will teach YOU how to become grossly successful with the types of women youve always wanted that almost no men know about For more information, just click here: --> http://www.InstantDatingSuccess.com <--
P.S - If youd like to send me a success story, comment or any questions, just write to: feedback@instantdatingsuccess.com
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