SODOMY AND SPIRIT{JALITY

by Phil Hine

icons of Shiva mounted by Kali. Social conditioning is strong enough to make some Gay men feel that anyone who takes it up the arse is somehow less fateful words "do anything you want with me". than 'male' beczuse abandoning oneself to pleasure From the corner of my eye, I saw him pick up a is not appropriate 'male' behaviour. Why not? glass bottle in the shape of a unicorn, filled with a Penonally, I feel that being fucked is a celebration yellowish liquid, and I knew what was about to of my maleness. I hardly ever feel that I have happen. I had no fear, only a deep sense of relinquished my personal power (unless of course relaxation. It didn't hurt, but at the moment of there is role-play of 'surrender' as a sexual game). penetration, one self died and another was reborn. A I often feel a sense of power 'over' the lover who meaningful 'initiation' that gave me insights which I fucks me. His pleasure and ejaculation reaffirms my will now attempt to collect into a coherent article. own inner power. Somewhere in his magical diaries, What feelings does being fucked stir within me? Crowley said something to the effect that he liked to Two words perhaps describe them best - abandon- think that "when a man fucks me, it is because I am ment and possession. In being fucked, I am beautiful". The exhaustive records of Crowley's abandoning my ego-defences, opening myself at a sexual opera (such as The Paris Working) show that deep level to another person, and able to cast aside he much prefened !o be the receiving partner when the socially-crafted 'masks' I put on to deal with the it came (pardon the pun) to homosexual sex-magick. world. I allow myself total pleasure, and the Yet the importance of his sex-magick with partners pleasure of my lover. I cross back and forth between such as Victor Neuburg has tended to be overlooked the borders of ecstasy and agony, until I am by those who have inherited his magical philosophy. moaning and crying uncontrollably; soft liquid fire Any ideas why? in my belly and a fierce tingling that seems most The intensity of these feelings - of abandonment discernable at my fingertips. I haven't yet had an to pleasure and possessing another, and at the same orgasm from being fucked alone, but thep, ejacula- instance, of being possessed, I have encountered in tion and orgasm are mostly two different another setting; that of the shades of trance ranging experiences for me, and ejaculation seems unimpor- from overshadowing of a spirit upon my conscioustant, compared to the sensations which threaten, it ness, to the full possession by a spirit during ritual seerns, to tear my body apart when a lover is inside and dance. The possession-trance is dubiously me. A lover's orgasm within me brings about a regarded in western occulture, just as allowing a feeling of deep peace and satisfaction. I feel man's cock inside them is anathema to many men. revitalised, and can go forth into the world with an In many ways, allowing my pyche to be entered by inner glow. I regret deeply, in these AlDS-conscious a spirit (Goddess, God, or whatever) stirs the same times, that I cannot receive into myself a lover's feelings as being physically fucked. The key seems semen. Yet it is as though in abandoning myself to to be the conscious or willed displacement of the another, I reaffirm my sense of selfdom. ego tro another - of offering up my body as a vehicle At the same moment that I abandon myself, I am for the transmission of energy. Crowley hinted of possessed. This is difficult to write aboui, but it is this in his essay on devotional magick @hakti linked, I feel, to a common misperception about Yoga), Liber Astarre (Magick, p4ffi - 471). The intercourse - the concept of 'active' and 'passive'. ultimate in Bhakti is being entered by the spirit one For myself, I prefer the words 'giver' and 'receiver'. is working with. One Beltain, I drew the Goddess Our miserable, patriarchal conditioning has given Eris down from above me and Pan from below me rise to the conception that 'active' = 'masculine' and they met somewhere in the middle and I lost 'passive' = 'feminine'. I have increasingly come to consciousness in their climax. reject this sort of thinking. Just because one person Jean Genet suggests that a homosexual relation(male or female) takes a lover's penis into their ship "obliges" men to discover the 'feminine' bdy, doesn't necessarily mean that they are elements within the pyche, but that it is not 'passive'. This is clearly illustrated in the Tantric necessarily "the weaker or the younger, or the more

remember very well the first time I got fucked. Exhausted and relaxed after all-afternoon sex, I lay sprawled on my boyfriend's bed and uttered those

Everything is Permitted

27

gentleofthetwo,whosucceedsthebetter;butthewhich-havelong'beenrepressedisgenerallya iii" ry*".tfYi source 6f "n"tgy' which can be magically more experienced, who may be ]!e .oo'git""i truth directed' of course'
older man." lgueretii-oi

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vou"tri'6oJo.'*i t"*t1-P:::':Ji:,tl,,Y"f ;: T|*#su'fl g trea*t homosexuarirv in one or two wavs'

or "irh", humans afrer alr, blocks your chakras' 're,:^e:ses' the kundalini it were? Imposing our nalrow limits uponft.t ,creates'a dark astral vortex', or more positively, I invoke miss the whore point of invoking them. matter' and that - to join momen- that the gender of partners doesn't prefer the go beyond my pres.ent-ilti,u,ioni the 'eneigy' is-the.saine'.Obviously are not that tarily with somethlng.greater, o, out tutt", poiition, though,I feel that things coo, oi view sometimes my lovei becomes to me simple. rtre writers" 11il^"]:."'. to this latter Goddess . or is that too freaky for works properly to stress that sex-magick only An early conditioning_block for me was the tend an established relationship' which is true to a within poin, oi mistaken assertion that fro-m a Tantric all the faces of Gay value. -uno point,. U"i *^ify excludes had no

th" atrmonition rhat it is wrong - it

sex between men *tti"tr straight society finds so i:*1. culture group sex became more comfortabre with ,nv rr.iing, disturbing -,angny1-ojrt.:"*; S&M' and longings for sex *in-..", I soon OisatuseJ?ysef p.r,i."i.fiv rn tne uK at least, there seem to be few (or of this notion. From experience, t "un'L"y1ilii i are attempting to write intelligently have had equally strong Tantric op"ri"ilJ.r"ii,i E:tl*ti" menaslhadpreviouslywithwomen.Sensations*o,.i.po'tantly,re,etinet2aboutthepossibilities only group which in of Cay-frtitive "iantra' ino tneapproaches specifisuch as the 'Bliss-wave'; seeing ty rou*JuintJ proviO'es' suppor-t and magical gold light; the total-body orgasm. .ni il;;;;tA cally taitorid for gay- men is the international just.-as-possible sensitivity to kundalini aciivity are as the issue of spirituaas in_ a #;.fr',o;;r vo,iooo'N"twork. H;tr;fuqy., the wider gay com-i. 'un in a homosexual parrnership within enectivJ'-i;t ;i lity raises its profile occultists declare themselves' one. Anal intrr"ouo" and moie gay ;i"try, srimulating *re murJhar.-"hukr., despite"wnl;il; change' *y' r'*ouid.*"y that my this situationwill then' I dare to assert that be' being sex-magic manuals ;;;ht ,re grtltJ'1 Jo, sacred sexual experiences *iti otn6r nr"n tnutT'u"ti^ ^ "o*lude p, {gt me, an intensely or iuctcing rise ro the experiencei describeo in raniril'V;lt;i. ryked in the celebration of to the obvious experience; tnat siirituality.lies have been all the more powerful due than the denial of the body' desires pleasure element of catharsis - being able to u"tuiii" 'uihtt

Nothing is True
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