University of Southern Mississippi

The Angles of Desire Author(s): Jessica Chalmers Source: Mississippi Review, Vol. 19, No. 1/2, Workshops (1990), pp. 47-52 Published by: University of Southern Mississippi Stable URL: http://www.jstor.org/stable/20134412 . Accessed: 11/10/2011 10:40
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JessicaChalmers

The Angles

ofDesire

The fact that angels once prowled around freely inNew York is, of course, well known, as is the story of their tragic capture and resulting near-extinction. In those early days, as we know, angels were sometimes even visible to the human
eye. It was possible, even as late as the early 1930s, gown as you to catch the last sweep of a diaphanous during turned a corner face the

in the subway,or,without being laughedat, to claim outright,

a dinner party, to have felt just now on your in this heady

warm perfume of angel's breath.

It was haps once time that little six-year-old Harriet Red just a child-to have in

ding began to collect angel memorabilia, and claimed-per

too often, but after all she was John Redding, seen an angel, or, sometimes, told her father, Mr. to have seen the angel. She often that she saw the angel

him, putting her fists straightdown in her pockets and calling out joyously and relentlessly, see it now, Father,you have it "I in you now," likea littlemessiah with cloudless eyes.
Now, was although Dr. John Redding, a prominent uptown

psychotherapist,was not aman to respond to silliness, as he

such the big, dark, brooding type of a man, the insistence him begin take what her of his daughter to notice on this point about the angel made

her in a different way. Of course he didn't

she said seriously, but he was drawn by the peculiar way knowing called out eyes, were like the eyes of a pretty she saw in him. Soon animal

attention had fastened on him and those eyes, those tiny

as she to the angel after, he began

doing things in secret to his little daughter, thingswhich at

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Chalmes Jessica first made her bleed, but, as she got used to them and used to

the pain, she simply submitted to, reassuringherself that it was just some negativeworking of his angePsmagic that she had to undergo before the best thing happened, thoughwhat thatwas, she didn't know, and could not imagine.
One pipe night, a real angel appeared in front of Dr. Redding as

he was working at some papers, highly alert, sucking on his

in the library at dawn. The angel sat down softly on the

leathercouch near thewindow, his body almost transparentin the pink light coming through the window. Dr. Redding looked up, into themesmerizing blue of the angePs eyes. To his surprise,he felt steady,not at all perturbed, as if the visitor had been expected. "You look familiar," said. "Do I know he
you, angel?" The angel looked at him as if there was some

thing obvious to say,but did not speak, until Dr. Redding, with a jolt, recognized that theway the angel was sit finally, ting-with his knees apart and legs stretched out-was the sameway he himself sat sometimes, and that the intense blue
of the angel's The eyes was just the same kind of blue as his own. and other the same angel was, in spite of all the transparency of Dr. Redding, and so he

worldliness about him, and the diaphanous gown, some

aspect cusing or representation about and had felt

face, though, Dr. Redding thought, therewas something ac

its expression in some way

separated from it and from himself. When it came time forHarriet's daily visit, at 8 a.m., before
the rest of the family rose for the day, and before she was sent

to school by hermother, the angelwas still there,and passive lywatched Dr. Redding, who had by now angrily decided to ignorehim, go about his businesswith Harriet. For the restof the day the angel followed Dr. Redding, and also the next day
and the next, until started finally Dr. Redding gave up his anger, and things to him. He scene in a to talk to the angel, and to explain him consider crying during

explained, for example,why he took a particular subway, or

what made movie. The a particular angel didn't answer, and only stared, and so Dr.

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TheAngles ofDesire Redding eventually grew accustomed to him and to their form strongly of his own amaz and to

of companionship, or as accustomed and comfortable as one

can be in that situation. He was experience ing powers to the analyst. Above reminded in analysis, and of the way he had attributed

all, he had felt judged, everything

he felt judged now, and so he tried to explain

the angel. Everything, that is, except his relationswith his daughter, during which he was semi-conscious, or, at the
most, turned on by the presence of the angel. a year, during which Har riet turned seven, put on a lot of weight, and began to forget This situation went on for about

the names of objects. Her mother, ordinarily depressed and withdrawn, took to pressing her to find out what was wrong.
She asked hesitantly, way she was as if she knew abandoned the answer but just

couldn't bring herself to say the thing thatwas, for her, just
one more by her own life. Harriet

said nothing in response, but in the ensuing silence doodled handing hermother a paperminutes latercovered frantically, amultitude of little stick figures, allwith wings and halos, by flying over theNew York skyline. On themorning of Harriet's eighth birthday, a gloriously beautiful woman-angel appeared by Harriet's bedside. The woman glowed, and so Harriet woke in a bath of light, smil ing, assuming immediatelythat her lifewas about to change. The woman put a queenly hand on Harriet's little head and softly strokedher hair,pausing every so often as if to consider something, staring off past the baby things, the bunnies and plastic shapes in the shelves that lined thewalls of Harriet's room, and into the unknowable distance beyond them. Sud denly, she stood up and Harriet believed she heard the noise of cymbals crashing as thewoman thoughtfully nodded her head, not mysteriously, but as if she finallyknewwhat was to be done, and then she began to laugh, her thinwings shiver ing delicately on her back.At that same exactmoment, in the librarydownstairs, the aura of themale angel seated nearDr. Redding grew mysteriously dark and cloudy, and to Dr.

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JessicaChalmers

Redding's pained surprise, the angel let out a tremendous howl, thus breaking the silence of the past year.He took a long, silent look at Dr. Redding and then, again howling, ran
to the window and leaped out, leaving a trail of angel dust

glinting after him in themorning sunshine. Dr. Redding felt nothing but shock, especially since the angel had never before
made would any noise, but also because this was not the noise he have ever imagined the angel to make, and, for a few

moments, he was still, feeling dull and absolutely betrayed by the absence of his double. Then, on a sudden impulse, Dr.
Redding put his hand up to his cheek, and ran to the mirror

only to discover that his facehad actually turned a sort of pale green color.As he watched, the color intensified,spreading to his neck, his eyelids, and the tips of his ears, until finally he was all over a bright, bright green, like the brilliant hue of grass in spring.He didn't feel sick. In fact, he wasn't sick, and, when Dr. Redding had run down to the perceiving this later, kitchen, Harriet started to laughwith some of her old glee returning, thrusting her fists in her pockets straight down and beaming, saying, "It's the angel, father,can't you tell?" When Harriet returned to her room, her angel was waiting for her.Again Harriet laughed her new, big, free, eight-year old laugh, until the angel joined itwith her own angelic rinse of laughter, putting her calm hands back on Harriet's head
and once men again stroking father who her hair. "My dear, there are many have done the same thing to their I do she said. 'Although like your

little girls as your not have the power

father has done," to change

this situation,

I have given you

a birthday present which may help you. Your father's green face isyour birthdaypresent, and the green faceof every other man inNew Yorkwho ever touched his daughter is also your birthday present. This situation will last for exactly a week,
and there will be an announcement "My father appearing in the New like an

York Times tomorrow which will explain." She smiled, and

Harriet felt embarrassed. is a good man,

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TheAn,gles ofDesire

angel.He nevermeant anything," she said,but the angel had alreadyvanished.

Now New home this situation was not an easy one for the burghers instances of a man around by his wife to "do a little work the house, of for York, and there were many kept at

once." There were men calling in sick to work, confined to bed by "the virus that's going around," and men who only cameout at night,walking the streets in hats, bundled in scarves
in spite of the weather. But there were also men who went about

their business bravely, ignoring their green faces and refusing to acknowledge the reactions of others, who stared at them while they walked down the street, or even hissed. At rush
hour on the A train, it was not uncommon to see several stood too close.

green men in a crowd, rich and poor, eyes darting, hurrying

on and off the train, angry at anyone who

And several instanceswere reported on the evening news of some poor vermillion-colored gent being surrounded by a group of indignantwomen, who harassed him, calling him ugly nameswhile he tried to blush, but couldn't.
By the end of the week, Harriet's ordeal with her father had

ended, silently, as it had begun, and Dr. Redding had grown gaunt and sour.He hardly ever left the libraryduring that
week, and hardly ever after, and his patients began to leave

him one by one. They claimed he wasn't really listening to

them, and that when he did listen itwas because he had found

something inwhat the patient had been saying that reminded him of his own life.He argued that theywere projecting this attitude upon him in response to problems in theirown habits of communication, but itwas all in vain. They could tell.His eyes were cloudy with self-absorption. Later on in her life Harriet became extremely angry with him, but for the year following the green-faced incident, she felt sorry for him, and
it became her task to bring him tea in the library while he

read. On a largerscale, this is the period that the hunting of the angels began, the periodwhich eventually led to theirpresent

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JessicaChalmers

state of near-extinction. It is said that largebands of men with themark of green foreveron theirhearts, thirsty for revenge, set out to stalk the elusive angels, vowing to tame them, to take their perfume, their gossamerwings, their fairy hair, and all the rest, for their own. To bottle it perhaps.But that,we might say, is another story.

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