Treasures

News.Politics.Commentary
LETTERS TO THE READER & TALKBACK GOOD FIGHT SUFFER THE CHILDREN CONSERVATION HOT LIST FEATURE WHY BOTH HILLARY AND OBAMA COULD MISS THE MARK NEWS ENVIRONMENTALISTS TAKE ISSUE WITH COAL PLANT STUDY MR. MEANERS CRIME WATCH STATE HOUSE REPORT NEW BLOOD IN THE STATE HOUSE TED RALL AMERICAN DEMOCRACY RELIES ON FASCISM? 3 3 5 6 8 8 9 11

MORE NUCLEAR WASTE HIGHWAY BOUND FOR S.C.

Contents
JANUARY 16, 2008 VOLUME 3 ISSUE 11

PUBLISHER Paul F. Blake paul@columbiacitypaper.com MANAGING EDITOR Todd Morehead todd@columbiacitypaper.com CREATIVE DIRECTOR Sean Rayford theangrywhale@yahoo.com ARTS EDITOR Judit Trunkos jtrunkos@columbiacitypaper.com GENERAL SALES MANAGER AJ Taylor aj@columbiacitypaper.com ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES Missy Curls mcurls@columbiacitypaper.com Molly McCarter molly@columbiacitypaper.com Kara Hicks khicks@columbiacitypaper.com Jen Grenwell jen@columbiacitypaper.com
PG. 6

PG. 4

Arts.Entertainment.Etc
VOCAL BOOTH YEAR IN REVIEW SOUNDBOARD PUNK/INDIE/EMO/SKA/HARDCORE/METAL/ROCK MOVIE TIMES & REVIEW BEST AND WORST MOVIES OF THE YEAR JONESIN CROSSWORDS & SUDOKU ART LISTINGS & FEATURE TOP ART STORIES OF 2007 SAVAGE LOVE ADULT SEX ADVICE

POLITICS & MEDIA Ismail Lagardien ilagardien@columbiacitypaper.com NEIGHBORHOOD AFFAIRS DESK James D. McCallister/dmac@columbiacitypaper.com

13 15 16 17 18 19
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FOUNDING EDITOR Corey Hutchins Now hiring freelance news writers! todd@columbiacitypaper.com
Andy Brack, Graeme Fouste, Corey Hutchins, Harry S. Iarch, Magdalene Kellett, Ismail Lagardien, WR Marshall, Will Moredock, Ted Rall, Fred Richardson, Dan Savage, Mike Serge, Kingsley Waring
CONTRIBUTORS

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Quote of the issue:

Ive been charged by moose a number of times.

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JANUARY, 16 2008

the Good Fight Letters to theReader

WOMEN AND CHILDREN FIRST?
Theres no gallantry on this ship of state
The beginning of the year is pack cigarette tax. Research has a good time to think about goals shown that the higher the cigato be met, projects to be finished, rette tax, the sharper the wishes to be fulfilled. On matters decrease in smoking. That of governance and public policy decrease affects children and in South Carolina, thats an awful teens most, because they can lot to think about. least afford the more expensive This remains one of the smokes. harshest, most regressive and At seven cents per pack, undeveloped places in the nation S.C. has the lowest cigarette tax and no one feels this privation in the nation. Even at 37 cents more acutely than children. S.C. per pack, it would have the sevBY WILL MOREDOCK ranks 47th in overall well being enth lowest tax. So why not raise of our children, according to the the tax to a dollar or more, as Founder of Columbias former Point newsweekly annual Kids Count survey for about 20 other states have done? 2006. This figure reflects a host The long-term effects on smoking of depressing data on infant mortality, low rates and public health would start with birth-weight babies, poverty, single-parent todays children and last for generations. But families, school dropout rates, and more. our General Assembly has long been addictWhat kind of people would allow their ed to tobacco industry money and seems children to live in such deplorable conditions unable to break the habit. So South generation after generation? The answer, in a Carolinians will continue to have one of the word, is men! highest smoking rates in the nation, starting S.C. has the lowest number of women with children. holding public office among the 50 states And there is the matter of daycare in the and the number has dropped since 1992, Palmetto State. Just in time for the new legwhen we ranked 36th in the nation. Just over islative session, The Post and Courier last 52 percent of South Carolinians are women, week produced an outstanding series on the yet they are fewer than 10 percent of the states unregulated child daycare industry General Assembly; no women holds and the dangers it poses for thousands of statewide elective office. children. Will the free enterprise cowboys of The result of all this testosterone bub- the General Assembly have the courage to bling under the Statehouse dome is that we rein in the Wild West that is child daycare in have a legislature that is more interested in South Carolina? Dont hold your breath. securing gun rights and concealed weapons It will take years to remedy the patholopermits than in securing quality education, gies in our state legislature. It will take even school lunches or healthcare for its children. longer bring this woebegone state into the As our General Assembly opens the 21st century, but a good place to start would 2008 session there will be three important be to elect more women. child-related issues to follow. The first is the This is not to say that all women are virancient and eternal issue of school funding. tuous and wise, but it is to say that women as Schools are still paid for out of property a group bring a different set of values to the taxes, which means that wealthy districts legislative process. Among those are the have modern school facilities and highly paid understanding that children are our most teachers; poorer districts such as the his- valuable resource; they must be nurtured and torically black counties along the I-95 corridor protected like any other precious resource. have decrepit buildings with collapsing That is our responsibility as parents and citiroofs and leaking toilets and teachers who zens. are not worthy of the title. Why cant our legislators learn to take Last month State Superintendent of their responsibilities seriously? Perhaps Education Jim Rex released recommenda- because they are the wrong gender. tions for a new school funding formula that talkback@columbiacitypaper.com included giving districts money based on students' poverty and English-speaking abilities. Most of his recommendations are aimed at boosting the state's poorest school districts, where test scores, salaries and buildings lag behind wealthier districts. The gap has been widening, not narrowing, and I think most people see that as an anchor weighing our state down, Rex told the Post and Courier. But of course, this state has always been weighed down by poverty and inequality and our General Assembly has not lost a minutes sleep. Dont count on the General Assembly to take any action this session. House Speaker Bobby Harrell is already undermining Rexs recommendations with a study of his own that will surely find little fault with the present funding formula. More likely to pass is a new 30-cent per

Dear auto owner with too many bumper stickers, "Free Tibet," "Come the Rapture, may I have your car?" "NotMilk.com," "Tastes Like Wiccan," "Go Vegan or Die." You know what's really wrong? A death row inmate making a "ProLife" vanity license plate. Instead of preaching to the plumber in traffic behind you, why not donate the money you spend on bumper stickers to charity or a local activist group? Might want to put down that soy latte and go vote this time, too. Columbia City Paper

Dear broken resolution, Well, it was a good two weeks while it lasted. Ah, who am I kidding? I was washing down double bacon cheeseburgers with cigars and a Golden Girls marathon by January 4. Maybe next year I'll try Mike Huckabee's diet book. And if he happens to be president this time next year, I'm sure I'll stick to my fitness resolution by running screaming for the nearest international border. Columbia City Paper Dear liberals who censor, Man, some of you neo-hippie types are as humorless and puritanical as Victorian-era Mormons. Why is it when public discourse is stymied these days, it is often by simpering Birkenstock types? Talk frankly about most any subject at a vegan dinner party and watch the schoolmarmish heads begin to swoon. You know: sometimes a homeless guy is not a victim of society; sometimes he's just an asshole. Not all strippers are "working class" women; sometimes they're junkies hustling for $20 and nothing more. Here's a sad fact, friends: reality isn't always PC. Now, censoring someone: that's offensive. Columbia City Paper Dear Gaston police, We heard town council disbanded you guys! Good Lord, who's guarding the Ingles?! Columbia City Paper

Dear deep thought in the checkout line at Bi-Lo, Hmm... maybe the human brain is the true organism. The rest of the body was grown in its service, to do it's bidding, like monkeys invaded by a host. It is not an organ in service of the body; the body was grown as a shell to encase it. To see for it and to feed it and to protect it from predators. How can a mere organ be aware of itself? The brain, after all, knows what it looks like. With a mirror, anesthesia, and proper training, a brain could actually perform surgery on itself, an organ that can extract its own cancer. The brains developed an understanding of death millions of years ago. And they have dragged that knowledge, as if shackled to a heavy stone, across the plains of time since the predawn of history. Death drifts across the human brain like the shadow of a dark cloud. It has been the brain's only constant and often the brain envies other creatures of the Earth for their seeming ignorance of that ultimate truth. The brain has enlightened itself but, in doing so, has also damned itself. It envies something as simple and innocent as a kitten sleeping in the grass in a patch of warm sun. Yes, the human body is a complete system, a microcosm of the Earth itself; the brain it's fiery and reactive core, the slimy gray captain of a gangly vessel. But, eventually the brain grew tired of bumbling around in its never-ending search for sustenance and procreation, so it invented farming and prostitution. It could then spend more time inventing gods and watching sports and starting wars. Later it invented the car and this supermarket and plastic so it could acquire food by expending even less energy. All along the way, it developed art and theater and music and literature. It invented fart jokes and comic books and medicines and hair care products. Later still, it invented reality television and... Huh? Oh sorry. Yeah, I have my bonus card. Columbia City Paper

JANUARY, 16 2008

PHOTO ILLUSTRATOPN

BY

SEAN RAYFORD

More nuclear waste bound for Savannah River Site

BY MICHAEL HOPPING

Although it wont be as obvious as the scenario above motorists in the southeast will be more likely to share the road as more plutonium shipments are scheduled for delivery to the Savannah River Site located near Aiken, S.C. The plutonium containers will travel across the U.S. in unmarked armored tractor trailer rigs driven and guarded by armed federal personnel

Another round of weapons-grade plutonium shipments to the Savannah River Site (SRS) has begun, according to a recent announcement from the U.S. Department of Energy (DOE). At the completion of the transfer, the K-Area Material Storage facility at SRS will house approximately 13 metric tons of non-pit (never weaponized) plutonium, says Allen Gunner, an SRS-based DOE manager. This supply, Gunner adds, is in addition to 38 tons of U.S. weaponized plutonium and 14 tons of non-weapons grade plutonium to be removed from military stockpiles as part of a deal struck with Russia several years ago. At some point, that material may also be South Carolina bound. In all, the current non-pit shipping campaign involves 2,511 packages of plutonium metal and oxide from the Hanford site in Washington State, Los Alamos, and the Lawrence Livermore National Lab in California. The containers will travel in unmarked armored tractor trailer rigs known as Safe Secure Transports, driven and guarded by armed federal personnel. Routing details are classified and state officials arent notified when a shipment passes through. The DOEs plutonium drivers dont pick their own routes to SRS. Instead, federal dispatchers direct them with RADTRAN or TRAGIS software. These routing programs take several factors, including road conditions, accident rates, population cen-

ters, etc., into account. RADTRAN and TRAGIS vary in the weighting of such factors, but the routes they select are likely to be similar. John Sticpewich, a retired international oil and gas geologist living in Asheville, N.C., has access to TRAGIS software. When Sticpewich entered the plutonium origin and destination information into the program, the resulting itineraries surprised him. Columbia appears only as a third choice alternative from Hanford. Whats striking about the maps is that all but one of them converge on Atlanta, he says. But for those living along the I-26 corridor, rejoicing may be premature. Ninety percent of the material scheduled for transfer resides at Hanford, and RADTRAN may value Atlanta more highly than does TRAGIS. The result: it could just as easily route some of the shipments through Columbia.

SPINACH CANS
Twenty-two lbs. of plutonium-239 is enough to go critical under certain circumstances, so DOE limits the amount in any single package to about nine and a half pounds. The specific transport and storage container DOE chose is a layered stainless steel drum system. Plutonium rests inside a primary and secondary containment vessel: nested stainless steel tubes wrapped by a halfinch lead jacket. This assembly is placed in the overpack, a 35-gallon stainless steel drum with an inner padding of

Celotex rings. (Celotex is a type of fiberboard with a consistency reminiscent of stiff felt. It is commonly used to sheath houses.) Together, these components comprise a 9975 package. Federal regulations require containers and casks for highly dangerous or radioactive materials to meet standards for damage resistance in accident conditions. They must not release their contents after a series of misfortunes including a 30-foot drop onto an unyielding surface, puncture by a stationary iron pin and a 30-minute engulfing fire burning at 1475 F. The tests are designed to account for the possibility of a severe transportation accident, such as a container being hit by a train or a fiery tunnel crash involving multiple vehicles. Bureaucratic snafus delayed the 9975s Type B certification for years. It was eventually granted in 1999, but trouble soon followed. Someone noticed that when a 9975 was dropped on the lid end at a 45-degree angle, the outer lid opened up. Integrity of the steel drum is critical to the containers fire resistance. Celotex burns at temperatures above 350 F and lead melts at 622 F. Type B certification was withdrawn. Testing at the Westinghouse Savannah River Company confirmed the severity of the problem. Lids on the 9975 routinely popped open like Popeyes can of spinach when the package was dropped at an unfavorable angle. The report concludes, conventional clamp ring closures are not

suitable for packages where the weight ratio of the internals (containment vessels, contents, shielding, etc.) to the gross package weight is greater than 50 percent . . . the failure rate for packages exceeding this limit is nearly 100 percent for the packages evaluated. The combined weight of lead and stainless steel internals in the 9975 virtually guaranteed lid failure on the regulatory drop test. Talk about embarrassing. The fault was remedied by redesign. A series of bolts now secures the lid. The 9975 was recertified in 2001 and has been continuously certified since then, although the redesigned model was not subjected to the series of Type B damage tests. In fact, it appears that the 9975 was never subjected to the test series. James Giusti, a DOE public affairs officer at SRS told me, Drum and fiberboard overpacks were already a mature technology at the time of the 9975 certification testing, with extensive testing dating back for over twenty years, at Savannah River Site, Oak Ridge National Laboratory and Sandia National Laboratory. The 9973 and 9975 were so similar to the earlier, certified packages that extensive additional testing was not necessary. The 9973 container Giusti mentioned is a smaller, 30-gallon, drum system without lead shielding. At least one 9973 was put through the regulatory series of damage tests in 1994 and survived. In view of the subsequent problem with the 9975, the

JANUARY, 16 2008

lack of lead in the 9973 may have made a critical difference. An unloaded 9973 package weighs only 187 lbs., less than half that of a 9975. According to the Westinghouse findings, a 9973 would likely retain its lid when dropped at an angle. I asked Gunner, who manages the 9975 package program at SRS, what was stored or moved in the old model 9975s before the lid problem was discovered. He said that although the 9975 was available for use, it wasnt actually pressed into service until after the lid problem was corrected. According to him, no lid failures have occurred with the bolted lid model. The old-style 9975 isnt used to store anything requiring a Type B container. CROSS COUNTRY People concerned about the nations diesel supply may be relieved to learn that 2,511 Safe Secure Transport (SST) convoys may not be required to move the plutonium across country to South Carolina. A DOE document states that as many as ten 9975s were aboard the SSTs that transported a different fissile element out of South Carolina a few years ago. If plutonium shipments are similarly consolidated, the number of SST trips could be reduced to less than 300. For those concerned about the consequences of a severe accident involving an SST, this prospect is less welcome news. Worst case scenarios worsen as more plutonium is added to a wreck. DOEs announcement of the current plutonium shipping campaign has this bit of bureaucratese to offer on the risk of serious highway accidents: DOE evaluated the impacts of a severe accident while transporting plutonium oxide material in Type B shipping containers in Safe Secure Transports (SSTs). The hypothetical accidents modeled for the impact assessment involve either a long-term fire or tremendous impact of crushing forces. In the case of crushing forces, a fire would have to be burning in order to spread the plutonium as modeled. These accidents were assumed to cause a ground-level release of 10 percent of the radioactive material in the SST. These accidents fall within the Nuclear Regulatory Commissions severity Category VIII, with an accident frequency in rural areas of about 1 x 10-7 per year (once in 10 million years). DOE estimated that if such an accident were to occur in an urban area as many as 114 cancer fatalities could result. In addition, the accident itself would cause a number of nonradiological fatalities, depending upon the specific circumstances. This determination is based on arbitrary DOE assumptions dating to 1977. They arent specific to plutonium, the 9975 container, or the present shipping

campaign. DOE classifies hypothetical radiological transport accidents on an eight-point scale. Category VIII is the most severe. An appendix to a Clinton-era environmental impact statement defines a Category VIII accident: For the truck and air analysis, the eight accidentseverity categories defined in the Nuclear Regulatory Commission's (NRC) Final Environmental Statement on the Transportation of Radioactive Material by Air and Other Modes (NUREG 0170, December 1977) were used. . . . The most severe category (Category VIII) represents a large crush force, high-impact velocity, high puncture-impact speed, an 88-kilometer [km] per hour (54.6-mile [mi] per hour) collision into the side of the vehicle and a 982-degree Celsius (C) (1,800-degree Fahrenheit [F]) fire lasting 1.5 hours to produce a release of the material (plutonium, highly-enriched uranium, or tritium). The release fractions for Category VIII accidents were conservatively estimated to be 0.1 for all types of materials analyzed. Translated to English, DOEs worst case pencil and paper accident scenario involves a tractor trailer collision at a speed of 55 mph and a hot fire, but one that only burns for an hour and a half. DOEs calculation of 114 cancer fatalities is derived from the arbitrary Category VIII assumption of a 10 percent release of radioactive material. Whether that number has any relevance to the 9975 container, a packaging system that didnt exist in 1977, is anybodys guess. Thankfully, to date, there have been no publicly acknowledged accidents involving SSTs hauling 9975 packages. This testifies to the skills of SST drivers but has no bearing on the reasonableness of the DOE's projection of a severe accident frequency of once in 10 million years or the ability of an SST to retain 90 percent of the radioactive cargo it contains. When Sticpewich looks at the schematic drawing of the 9975 and imagines what might happen if a load of 9975s is hit by one or more 80,000 lb. tractor trailer rigs traveling at highway speed, followed by a fire such as the inferno that closed an Interstate-5 tunnel in LA for more than two days in October, hes not optimistic. I fear the durability of these containers may be a real concern. Gunner is more confident. When I suggested that the 9975 doesnt look like a can with much of a chance in a smashup featuring hurtling big rigs and fire, he replied, These containers arent going to open up in a wreck. Hopefully, well never have to find out. talkback@columbiacitypaper.com

The Conservation Hot List will be updated each issue and will follow environmental legislation from its inception through the entire legislative process.

state at an average cost of $523/acre. Defining Renewable Energy Resources (S.360, CONCERN) The Environmental Affairs II Subcommittee of the House Agriculture Committee, (Rep. Dwight Loftis, Chair, Rep. Nelson Hardwick, Rep. Kenneth Hodges, Rep. Phillip Lowe, and Rep. Harold Mitchell), met Wednesday, Jan. 16 to consider S.360, which was amended last year to include nuclear power in the definition of renewable energy sources. * Nuclear energy is not a renewable energy resource. The supply of uranium, the fuel that powers nuclear energy, is finite, like supplies of coal or oil. * Defining nuclear energy as renewable would make South Carolina's home-grown energy sector less competitive. Allowing nuclear energy to compete with renewables for government support will take incentives away from entrepreneurs developing new and innovative businesses based around biofuels, solar and wind power. This sends the wrong signal to investors and entrepreneurs, seeking states with favorable investment climates. For more information visit the CVSC at: www.conservationvotersofsc.org

IN THE HOUSE THIS WEEK

Conservation Bank Funding (PRIORITY) The House Ways and Means Economic Development and Natural Resources Budget Subcommittee (Rep. Adam Taylor, Chair, Rep. Bob Leach, and Rep. Ken Kennedy) heard testimony about Conservation Bank funding at a hearing on Tuesday, Jan. 15. We are asking the General Assembly to appropriate an additional $20 million for the Conservation Bank next year and to make a serious commitment to incremental installments over the next five years. We consider an increase in funding as a down payment toward protecting our watersheds, working farms, forests and coastal resources. * South Carolinas rapid growth exceeds the amount of land conserved, and project requests far surpass the available funds. Last year, grant requests totaled $42 million, nearly double the $24 million funded. * Over the last three years, the Conservation Bank preserved 134,171 acres of historic and natural properties across the

NOT

THE PRESIDENT: FROM PAGE

- that had met Mr. Ford at the party. None of them made any allegations of impropriety but at this point the Republican campaign only needed to find white women saying that they had met a black man at a Playboy party and get them on the air. That was enough to twist the situation into an unspoken scandal. Political commentators started speculating on what all this would do to Ford's campaign, which of course made the issue a self-fulfilling prophecy. The Republicans even ran a television ad with a blond woman asking Harold to "call me sometime. Republicans never had to directly accuse Mr. Ford of anything -just bring up the race issue through the back door. Ford's healthy lead shrank and he ended up losing that race by three points. This doesn't mean that all of the voters of Tennessee are racist. But it does mean that enough voters in Tennessee are uncomfortable with the issue of race. And the easiest way of making the problem go away is to just vote for someone else a white someone else. In a presidential election where winning at least some Southern states is critical, all the Republicans will need to do is inject the issue of race into the discussion of who should be president.

But Obama has other vulnerabilities his middle name is Hussein. If he wins the Democratic nomination for president, expect his Republican rivals to often address Obama by his middle name. Of course being black or having an unWASPish sounding name won't be the determining factor in who most Americans vote for but it will sway some, probably enough voters to deter the outcome of a close race. The fear mongers have already started. An Internet rumor said that Obama was a Muslim. He's not. Then an online magazine reported that Obama had attended a radical Muslim religious school. Fox News picked up the story and reported that he had "spent at least four years in a so-called Madras, or Muslim seminary." Fox News eventually and grudgingly admitted that the story was a total fabrication but not before a good solid base of smear was laid. This all may sound absurd and insulting but the last two presidential elections were decided by the slimmest of margins in one or two key states. All the Republicans need to do is convince a thin wedge of voters that voting for another white man is the safest thing to do. It's a system of subtle fear that has kept the status quo intact for over 200 years and it will still be alive and well in 2008. talkback@columbiacitypaper.com
JANUARY, 16 2008

PHOTO ILLUSTRATOPN

BY

SEAN RAYFORD

Opinion: Why neither Hillary Clinton nor Barack Obama will become the next president of the United States
Why not Hillary?
GUEST COLUMN
BY

JENNIFER LYNNE ZIEMANN

The other day I had a most interesting conversation with a woman I met who was as Democrat as one can be. She was an intelligent, well-educated and independent woman. In the course of our conversation she mentioned how wonderful it would be if Hillary became the first woman president. She concluded, You know its a woman thing. As I reflected upon my conversation with this intelligent, likable woman something began to bother me. Its a woman thing is precisely why Hillary Clinton cannot be the next president of the United States, let alone the first woman president. I know we have all heard what Elizabeth Edwards said about Hillary Clinton: She's just not as vocal a women's advocate as I want to see. Edwards stated she didnt feel like Hillarys stance on health care was affordable to everyone, especially women. She also mentioned that the subject of poverty in relation to single mothers is not thoroughly addressed by the Clinton campaign. Both of these are notable. But Elizabeth Edwards does not have a fundamental understanding about the real reason why Hillary Clinton cannot be the first woman president. It is simply this: ending domestic violence is not a center point of her campaign. You cannot represent women without acknowledging the continuing gender apartheid in the U.S. Hillary Clinton cannot escape the fact that as a woman she has a responsibility to represent a gender that makes up fifty percent of the population of the United States. As that representative it is her responsibility to recognize that her caste is adversely and violently affected by domestic violence. I found most disturbing that she talks

about equal pay on her campaign Web site, yet fails to bring up the violence perpetuated by men against women, both individually and systemically. How can you talk about equal pay when female victims of domestic violence often cannot show up for work due to injuries caused by their abuser or are not being allowed to work by their abuser? Equal pay does not matter when you have not addressed the number one cause of why women fail in the work place: domestic violence. Equal pay does not matter when we women live in a white male dominated society that still views our proper place as incubators to continue the white male dominated ruling class. Equal pay does not matter when a man assaulting his wife is just a misdemeanor, whereas assaulting a stranger is a felony. Equal pay does not matter when domestic violence against women is not recognized for what it truly is: a violent crime driven by a male misogynist society, thus ultimately a hate crime. According to her Web site she advocates for empowerment of lower-income women through tax break incentives, micro finance programs, family planning education, contraceptive healthcare, health insurance and education. There is not one mention of domestic violence prevention, stiffer penalties for abusers, or counseling services for victims and survivors. Domestic violence makes no distinction regarding income levels or race. It affects all women and their children. This should be the most vital issue on her site. How can Hillary Clinton campaign in South Carolina and not talk about domestic violence? In 2001 we led the nation in men killing their spouses, now we rank number six. Our state requires an abuser to be convicted, not just charged, but convicted three times of domestic violence before their next crime against their partner is considered felo-

I do not want to see the first female president elected simply because its a woman thing.

nious. Yet so far in her visits, she has failed to address domestic violence. The first woman to run for president was Victoria Woodhull, an ardent woman activist, who ran in 1872. Her platform was based on equal rights for women. She talked about the right to vote, equal pay, the right to an abortion, the right to divorce, the right of women to participate in the governing of themselves and the right for women to own property. Yet the most important issue she addressed was the fact that women were considered property, that they could be beaten, murdered, raped, imprisoned, have their children taken away, or left as an outcast by their male counterparts at any time that the ruling male saw fit. She fought for the right of women to live free of abuse. She literally fought for the end of domestic violence. Today, women are still being beaten, murdered, raped, imprisoned, having their children taken away by judges who do not understand domestic violence, and yes, still made into outcasts. This happens right here, in this country, in the good ole USA. One of Hillary Clintons oft-quoted statements (from 1995) is Women's rights are human rights. Well, apparently to her that is only if you live in a Third World country because she is not willing to challenge the status quo of male domination and violence towards women in the United States. Why is she not willing to do this? Is it her fear of being labeled a feminist by misogynist Republicans? Is it her fear of alienating her mostly male-run corporate sponsors? I would love to see a strong female president who is willing to embrace the history of how far a woman has come yet realizes how far we still have to go. I do not want to see the first female president elected simply because its a woman thing.

Why not Barack?

GUEST COLUMN
BY

AL KIRK

It's still roughly 10 months away, but I have the inside track on who will be the winner in the next presidential election. Well, maybe that's not quite right - I have inside track on who will be the loser. Barrack Obama is doing very well early on to say the least, having won Iowa, and is running an intelligent campaign that highlights his moderate views and excellent rsum. To many, he seems like the kind of candidate that could unite Americans after eight disastrous years of George W. Bush. Yet Barrack Obama has one big impediment in becoming president of the United States that most commentators seem to have overlooked: He's Black. Don't kid yourself. In 2008, race will still play a big role in deciding who sits in the Oval Office. The best example is what happened to Harold Ford Jr. in his run for a Tennessee Senate seat in 2006. Things looked rosy for Ford - a hard-working black Tennessee Congressman with excellent credentials - yet he had often been seen in the company of white women, and in the racially charged South, that was enough to start making folks feel wary of his candidacy. It was easy for Republicans to get the ball rolling. The smears started with a few photos showing the bachelor Ford and his dates. Then came a manufactured scandal of Ford attending a Super Bowl party that was hosted by Playboy magazine. The party was held in a public place and there was no nudity - apparently a lot of celebrities attended, but that was enough to raise suspicions about Harold Ford Jr.'s suitability as a senator. The next step was for the Republicans to find women -- white women SEE NOT
THE PRESIDENT:

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JANUARY, 16 2008

MA

Mr. Meaners
CRIME WATCH
THE PEOPLE INVOLVED IN THESE EVENTS ARE INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY. THE ACCOUNTS COME DIRECTLY FROM POLICE REPORTS. 29203 29205 Sometimes youre Cops say a 21-yeara little low on cash, old man was using but you need that obscene and lewd beer, the 12-pack language and causof Bud taunting you ing a crowd to from its chilled assemble, which, rack. Well, take it. apparently, is just A 33-year-old man enough to get yourdid exactly that, self arrested and nabbing the beers taken to the slamfrom a convenmer. Even in, like, ience store. the most well-known Unfortunately for college area in town. him, there was Oh, well. When the COMPILED BY COREY HUTCHINS already a warrant police arrive they find out for his arrest on the guy to be drunk a drunkenness charge. No surprise as a skunk, with slurred speech and there. 4100 block Monticello Road. booze breath. Done, son; 2000 block Greene Street. 29204 First, please dont drink and drive. 29203 Second, if you do make that mistake, People dont punch each other in the dont pass out behind the wheel with the face enough anymore. There was a time car in gear. Thats what happened to an when if you talked smack, you caught a underage boozer recently. He was tool- smack. Now, with judges, cops, lawyers, ing around town with two other friends, courtsit just doesnt happen. Well one who were also drunk and asleep, one of 19-year-old decided hed bring the whom had a bottle of beer and a cup punch in the face back into style and between his legs. Oh, and please dont walloped his older brother right in the try to slug the police officer when youre kisser. He got more than a 10-minute sit awakened, like the front-seat passenger on the stairs, or a time out he got an did. Bad idea. Also bad was the bit assault and battery charge; 200 block where one of the passengers violently Hannover Street. resisted arrest. All in all, not a good night for these clowns. 3000 block Two Notch 29201 Road Police this week got a call for a suspicious person, and when they showed 29204 up found a 46-year-old hobo sacked out Weve heard about cops being called to on the steps of a church. A bum found a fight over a salad, but a pair of boots, passed out on the church steps in thats new. Turns out the Columbia PD Columbia? Suspicious? More like rouwas called after a 49-year-old man and tine. Anyway, the cops dragged his a 20-year-old man punched each other drunk ass off to jail; 2200 block Park around and even brandished a hammer Street. at one point over a pair of boots. Yee haw; 1500 Oak Street. 29205 A pissed-off woman ordered some late29209 night food at the drive thru and didnt like A 22-year-old man meets a 24-year-old what she got. According to police the floozy at Jungle Jims in Five Points and woman took the order and heaved it takes her back to his room to spend right back into the drive thru window some time together, according to striking the poor employee just doing his police. Later in the night, the man wakes job. Were sure he still absolutely loves up to find the Jungle Jim Jezebel long his job; 5000 block Garners Ferry Road. gonealong with his wallet. All in all the man is out $300 and in need of a quick 29201 trip to the clinic; 700 block Garners A 28-year-old man is walking to the Ferry Road. Food Lion around 11 p.m. and the next thing he knows hes waking up in front of 29203 a church with his head bashed in, blood She aint done nothing, why she going on him, and his cell phone missing; to jail? That sounds like an innocent 1500 Garden Plaza. question, but not when the 45-year-old man is inches from the face of the officer 29203 to which hes yelling it. According to A 27-year-old woman tells police that cops, the man brushed up against [the] someone broke into her home. The officer, following a fight in progress. home invader wasnt hungry for girl, it Cops arrested the man and took him to appears, he was hungry for Hot Pocket. jail. The two wont share a cell; 400 Well, technically, the suspect only got block West Ave. away with some chips and lunch meats stolen from the refrigerator, 100 29201 Ripplemeyer Ave. A baseball bat to the head. Thats what a 37-year-old man took after a fight at 7 29201 p.m., according to witnesses, but cops So, two guys walk up to another and couldnt find the man or any blood. They say, Give us your money or we will kick did find two baseball bats lying around, your ass. The friendly gents make off though; 7400 block Bailey Street. with $10. Nice work, if you can get it. 1300 Laurel Street 8
JANUARY, 16 2008

CLEARING THE AIR

Santee Cooper researcher clarifies disputed study
Last year, utility provider direct positive effect on the Santee Cooper commislocal economy via the engisioned a research team led neering and construction by Dr. Barry OBrien, current jobs it would create. The dean of the School of study also indicated that the Business at Francis Marion economic benefit of the projUniversity, to asses what ect would likely spill out into economic impact a proposed the surrounding community 600 megawatt coal-fired through plant employees energy plant near Kingsburg increased commerce with would have on the Pee Dee local businesses and the BY TODD MOREHEAD region. The findings, service community. released in December, concluded that While those numbers are impresthe new plant would contribute close to sive, they focus primarily on the eco$900 million to the local economy, $500 nomic impact of the construction of the million in earnings and roughly 9,300 plant, jobs that are temporary and full-time jobs during the construction would last only until the plant is built. period. The economic impact of the operation But some worry those numbers may of the plant over the next 40 to 50 years be skewed, due largely to a passage in would create 200 jobs at an average an official press release issued by wage of $50,000, according to the Santee Cooper. It is important to note study. Those jobs would go to skilled that for purposes of this study, the laborers, possibly from out of state, and timetable was collapsed into one year, though they would certainly bolster the release states. Therefore, if one commerce in Florence County to a worker was working on a job for five degree, some believe that benefit years, it is counted as five jobs for the would be offset by the fact that local analysis of this study. Thus, assuming residents would be paying the workers every worker stayed gainfully employed salaries through their utility bills. Still, throughout the plants construction, that according to OBrien, the power generwould put the jobs created at closer to ated by the plant would allow for com1,800 jobs (9000 divided by 5 years). mercial growth in the region and further OBrien conceded to City Paper that boost the economy (though that growth that part of the study could be confus- would likely most benefit Horry County ing. The actual economic impact study and Myrtle Beach where the population in its entirety, he says, breaks the num- is expected to grow by over 70 percent bers down year by year. So far Santee in the next 20 years). Cooper has only provided City Paper Economics aside, the environment with the truncated Executive will pay the highest price. Many enviSummary of the study. ronmentalists who oppose the project The study was conducted by taking worry that area residents could suffer raw data from an existing plant that is health problemsnot to mention lost similar in size and output to the pro- workdays and medical billsdue to facposed plantthe Cross Plant at tors like mercury poisoning and acute Pineville in Berkeley Countyand plug- asthma aggravated by airborne particuging that data into IMPLAN software, late matter generated from the plant. which is often used by universities and They worry, too, that tourism will be hurt the private sector to asses a projects due to mercury polluted waters and fish economic impact. OBrien says they and that property values in the area will threw out any data that represented fall. goods and services bought from out of These are legitimate questions, but state (say, a turbine from Ohio for not something we were asked to example) to get a more accurate indica- address, OBrien, who is currently contion of the plants immediate benefit to ducting a study of the economic impact the local economy. of solar panel use, told City Paper. But I didnt get pressure from Santee there are groups that could and should Cooper ahead of time or anything, do a study like that. OBrien says, responding to accusaSantee Cooper maintains that they tions by some that he was forced to will employ state of the art technology conduct the study with a stacked deck. to recapture the bulk of the carbon These are just the numbers. If Id been emissions. The plant will likely be operhired by an environmental group, it ational by 2012. DHEC is accepting would have been the same economic public comment on the proposed plant study. ...It is what it is. until January 22. According to OBrien, a building project of that magnitude would have a talkback@columbiacitypaper.com

NEW LEGISLATIVE VOICES OFFER HELPFUL HINTS ABOUT ELECTORATE

Four new state lawmakers, two in each chamber, may be able to give their colleagues the best inkling of what South Carolina voters really want today. Makes sense -- these new legislators spent the fall knocking on doors and meeting closely with voters to get their support and learn their wishes for government. More than anything else, people brought up concerns involving illegal immigration, noted Sen. Paul Campbell, a Goose Creek Republican elected to fill the vacancy left after the death of Sen. Bill Mescher. New Sen. Shane Massey, REdgefield, agreed, adding that lawmakers had several different proposals already in the hopper. Hopefully we can do something, with the ultimate goal, of course, to light a fire under the folks in Washington to get them to do something, said Massey, who at age 32 is now the states youngest senator. One of the problems we have in South Carolina is that an issue will come up immigration for instance and many times we overreact without having thought through the consequences. One thing Im really concerned about is pushing through these things and theres not enough debate and consideration and we end up with a situation that is worse than we had in the beginning. For new state Rep. Shannon Erickson, R-Beaufort, education funding is a major issue state lawmakers need to deal with. She said while most folks were happy with recent changes that eliminated school property taxes on homes in favor of an increased sales tax, some counties like Beaufort County got short-changed in the deal. Were using an old formula to come up with that dollar amount, said Erickson, who operates three child care centers that serve more than 350 children. Luckily, we have a group looking at that funding formula and it will be very interesting to see over that next session about what we should be looking at [for a better formula.] Campbell added most people in his area seemed to be opposed to school vouchers, but were interested in some kind of rational public school choice if it didnt create school inequities. For Rep. Heyward Hutson, R-Summerville, the key state issue for people from Dorchester County is management of growth. Most of the people out there feel that growth must pay for growth and that has not been the way it has been, said Hutson, who captured Converse Chelliss seat when he became state treasurer following the Thomas Ravenel cocaine indictment. The situation has been favorable to the developers and the citizens over here are just tired of paying the tax burden for the developers. Hutson said he planned to introduce legislation that called for impact fees to be charged on new residential construction to help pay for construction of new schools needed for new neighborhoods. Other key issues of importance to this new class of lawmakers: Budgeting. Hutson said he favored zerobased budgeting to cut some of the fat out of government that no longer was needed. Under this method of budgeting, each agency would have to validate reasons for all of its spending, not just outline how new monies would be used. Energy. Campbell said he would work to push for the construction of a new Santee Cooper coal-burning power plant in Kingsburg to ensure the state didnt have brownouts and blackouts, which had the potential of hurting tourism. Efficiency. Measures to improve energy efficiency would be welcome as they would help businesses be more competitive, Hutson said. Accountability. Massey said the first bill he prefiled dealt with improving accountability. Specifically, he said he thought lawmakers should put their names on requests for funding earmarks. Im not railing against earmarks. There are good earmarks; there are bad earmarks, he said. But people ought to able to know who is asking for $950,000 for a Green Bean Museum and why the state might need a Green Bean Museum. Sexual predators. Erickson said the state needed to be tougher on sexual predators and should tighten laws on those who molested children. talkback@columbiacitypaper.com
JANUARY, 16 2008

Ted Rall
What would you do if you learned that Bush Administration officials wanted to round up thousands of Americans and throw them into concentration camps? For all we know, there is no slippery slope. It's entirely possible that extraordinary rendition, eliminating habeas corpus, and the torture camps at Guantnamo and elsewhere are exactly what the government says they are--tools for fighting terrorists, not domestic political opponents. But how likely is it? History is clear: Over and over again, the U.S. government places fascists in powerful positions. Once in office, they exploit wars and national tragedies to roll back hard-won freedoms. They're Democrats as well as Republicans. As has happened with increasing frequency in recent years, another blockbuster story revealing the anti-democratic impulse within the top echelon of the U.S. government has appeared and vanished overnight. According to Cold War-era files declassified last week, FBI director J. Edgar Hoover repeatedly advised President Harry Truman to arrest "all individuals potentially dangerous" to national security, jail them in military prisons and try them before kangaroo tribunals that "will not be bound by the rules of evidence." "For a long period of time the FBI has been accumulating the names, identities and activities of individuals found to be potentially dangerous to the internal security through investigation," Hoover wrote in a 1950 memo. "These names have been compiled in an index, which index has been kept up to date." Capitalizing on anti-communist hysteria at the start of the Korean War, Hoover asked Truman to preemptively detain 12,000 people, 97 percent of them American citizens, in order to "protect the country against treason, espionage and sabotage." Hoover was a lunatic. Truman ought to have fired him on the spot. Instead, in September 1950 Congress took his advice and passed a law authorizing the detention of "dangerous radicals" if the president declared a national emergency. Truman signed it. In fact, he declared such an emergency three months later. No one knows why, but the president never actually followed through with mass arrests. Hoover's "subversives"--people suspected of left-wing political sympathies-remained free. He was wrong. There were no acts of sabotage. It wasn't the first time the government went "crazy." Between 1919 and 1921 the Bureau of Investigation (predecessor of the FBI) carried out the Palmer Raids, named for Alexander Palmer, Woodrow Wilson's attorney general. The BOI rounded up 10,000 lefties, anarchists and foreigners on a list compiled by a young J. Edgar Hoover, then in charge of the Justice Department's General Intelligence Division. Many were tortured. Five hundred fifty were deported. Palmer's clampdown accomplished nothing. On September 16, 1920, a bomb attributed to anarchists went off on Wall Street, killing 38 people and wounding over 400. Crazy...like a fox. During the 1960s and 1970s the CIA--in violation of its charter, which limits the agency to acting overseas--cooperated with local police departments across the country to compile a list of 300,000 Americans and organizations sus-

editorial
PULITZER PRIZE FINALIST

AMERICAN DEMOCRACY RELIES ON FASCISM

pected of opposing the Vietnam War. On April 6, 1984, President Ronald Reagan signed National Security Decision Directive No. 52. Reagan targeted 400,000 people for arrest and confinement at concentration camps in mothballed Army bases. The National Security Council's "secret government within a government," as Congressional investigators later described it, planned to cancel the 1984 presidential election so Reagan could remain in office indefinitely. "Lt. Col. Oliver North, for example, helped draw up a controversial plan to suspend the Constitution in the event of a national crisis, such as nuclear war, violent and widespread internal dissent or national opposition to a U.S. military invasion abroad," The Miami Herald reported on July 5, 1987. People who hate The People never sleep. In 2006 Congress passed the National Defense Authorization Act, which overturns the Posse Comitatus Act of 1878, which prohibited the use of combat troops on the soil of the United States. For the first time in 128 years, the president can declare martial law in case of a hurricane, riot or terrorist attack. In May 2007 Bush attached a National Security Presidential and Homeland Directive to the National Defense Authorization Act. In case of a "national emergency"--the president could declare it without consulting anyone--he could suspend the Constitution and appoint an unelected provisional government under a "national continuity coordinator." To an optimist, America's brushes with fascism seem like comforting evidence that the system works. Despite it all, even taking into account grotesqueries such as the concentration camps for Japanese-Americans during World War II, the First Amendment remains in force. Few Americans feel threatened by government tyranny. Few worry about getting shot by trigger-happy soldiers or being detained in concentration camps (unless they're flood victims in New Orleans). So why does a democracy need fascist schemes like Reagan's Rex-84 Alpha Explan (a FEMA plan to put American protesters against a planned war against Nicaragua into camps)? Because American democracy is an iron fist in a velvet glove, a glove that's becoming increasingly transparent. Threats of repression are rarely carried out. They don't need to be. If potential opponents are afraid, there's little need for concentration camps. The threat of repression (and actual crackdowns, explained away as exceptional excesses and brushed off with a token apology) creates a chilling effect on people who might pick up a rock instead of a sign. A dog doesn't have to bite everyone every day to earn a fearsome reputation. Mount cameras all over the place, and you don't need to have anyone actually watching on the other side. In a country whose legal framework authorizes the government to kidnap, torture and murder them, opponents of U.S. policy must decide whether getting out of line--anything from a letter to the editor to direct action--is worth the risk of getting kidnapped, tortured and murdered. (Ted Rall is the author of the book "Silk Road to Ruin: Is Central Asia the New Middle East?," an in-depth prose and graphic novel analysis of America's next big foreign policy challenge.) talkback@columbiacitypaper.com
JANUARY, 16 2008

11

Peace and blessings to all of you out there reading this. Thanks for all the support. 2007 has left us and 2008 has just begun. Resolutions have been made, promised, and broken. Since last issue my life has changed tremendously, on December 29, I wedded my lady of the past 3 years and couldnt be happier. Be sure to enjoy every day you get. Lets get to it. The Best or Worst designation is strictly based off of the quality (how good it sounds) of the music and not the quantity (how many CDs sold). All albums have a release date of 2007. If you disagree, cool, write your own column and have at it. Nah, hit me up kingpin@nonstophiphoplive.com or check columbiacitypaper.com to voice your opinion. Here we go!

RedMan, Red Gone Wild (Def Jam) You forgot about this one, didnt you? Angie Stone, The Art of Love & War (Stax) Jaye, Hesitation (BeatBangaz) South Cak Stand Up!!! DJ Jazzy Jeff, Return of the Magnificent So soulful. 50 Cent, Curtis (G-Unit) I played this record every day for 40 days straight since it dropped on September 11th. Perfect example of what New York should be sounding like. Such a Banger!!!! Guru, Jazzmatazz Volume 4 (7 Grand) Seriously needs to get back with DJ Premier. Bring back GANGSTARR!!! Joss Stone, Introducing (Virgin) Album produced entirely by Raphael Saadiq. Any questions? Amel Larrieux, Lovely Standards (BlissLife) Little Brother, The GetBack (ABB) 9th Wonder, Dream Merchant Volume 2 (ABB) C.L. Smooth, The Outsider (St. Nick Ent.) Seriously needs to get back with Pete Rock. Bring back Mecca & The Soul Brother. Jill Scott, The Real ThingWords & Sounds Vol. 3 You will be hard pressed to find someone deliver music this consistent. Carl Thomas, So Much Better (Thom
Tunes/Universal)

South Cak Stand Up!!! DJ Khaled, We The Best (Terror Squad/Koch) Plies, The Real Testament (Slip-n-Slide) Ciara, The Evolution (Jive) Rhianna, Good Girl Gone Bad (Def Jam) Crime Mob, Hated on Mostly (BME) Kelly Rowland, Ms. Kelly (Columbia) She really needs to find new management. As long as she and Beyonce are on the same label, she will never get the shine shes worth. Amy Winehouse, Back to Black 11 tracks of pain drenched in soul. Be sure to pray for the troubled young lady.

Musiq Soulchild, LuvanMusiq (Atlantic) Buddy and Bettaman were banging though. Joe, Aint Nothing Like Me (Jive) Gucci Mane, Back To the Traphouse (Atlantic) Hurricane Chris, 5150 Ratchet (Polo Grounds) Unfortunately having a southern anthem and the ability to rhyme double time wasnt enough to keep their heads ringing. Little man got skills though. Huey, Notebook Paper (Jive) Lil Mama, Lip Gloss (Jive) R.Kelly, Double Up (Jive) Even a platinum plaque cant save R.Kelly from the cop out music that hes so intent on making this late in his career. If you want to have the definitive R.Kelly album, pick up 12 Play. Still gets run in my player. Young Joc, Hustlenomics (Bad Boy/Atlantic) The Alliance, Going Digital (Elektra) Nuff said!!! Shop Boyz, Rockstar Mentality (Atlantic) Had one of the craziest singles this year in Party Like a Rockstar. The Dream, LoveHate (Def Jam) USDA, Cold Summer (Def Jam) Sean Kingston, Sean Kingston (Beluga Heights) Can you believe Buju Banton is his uncle??? B5 (BadBoy/Atlantic) Bobby Valentino, Special Occasion (DTP) Timbaland, Shock Value Killed dance floors with The Way I Are. Young Berg, EP (Capitol) Even those sexy ladies did not support this record. Cupid, Time for a Change (Atlantic) Behind Crank That, the Cupid Shuffle was 2007s most popular dance step, this album was horrible though. Baby Boy da Prince, Across the Water (Universal) Chingy, Hate it or Love it (DTP) Kia Shine, Due Season (Universal) Will.I.Am, William (Interscope) Foxx, Not Myself (Trill) Mario, Go (J Records) and to close out this list. The Notorious B.I.G. Greatest Hits The man who created classics like Unbelievable, I Got a Story To Tell, Juicy, One More Chance, and much more, is having his legacy thrown to the trash by those who probably got their CD for free. Why would Biggies Greatest Hits have songs like Nasty Girl, Notorious, Running Ya Mouth, or Want That Old Thang Back instead of classics like Kick in The Door, Dreams, Mo Money Mo Problems, or even The What ft. Method ManGo figure!!! Be sure to realize that all of the above is strictly based on what I bought, downloaded, resold, got for free or gave away for free. Shouts to Fat Rat Da Czar (Like a Fat Rat) and Lil Ru (Dont I Look Good) for making sure South Cak was represented well on mix shows and mixed tapes alike. Hope you enjoyed this list. Follow your dreams in 2008. Keep God First! KINGPIN- VILLAIN OF VINYL JANUARY, 16 2008

(IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER)

2007 S BEST ALBUMS

Young Buck, Buck The World (G-Unit) My personal favorite of the year. Jay Z, American Gangster (Roc-A-Fella) Lupe Fiasco, The Cool (1st&15th) FreeWay, Free At Last (Roc-A-Fella) Probably the sleeper album of the year. Styles P, Super Gangster (DBlock/Koch) HiTek, Hiteknology 3 (BabyGrande) GhostFace Killah, Big Doe Rehab (Def Jam) ScarFace, Made (Rap-A-Lot) Ledisi, Lost & Found (Verve) Wu Tang Clan, 8 Diagrams (Wu Music Group/SRC) Ol Dirty Bastard R.I.P. Nas, Greatest Hits (Columbia) Although filled with thought provoking lyrics, this had a few slip ups, song selection was horrible (why record label A&Rs are unnecessary), and should have been a double cd (Nas has recorded over 8 albums full of joints for Columbia). Lloyd, Street Love (Murder Inc.) Beanie Sigel, The Solution (Roc-A-Fella) Queen Latifah, Travlin Light (Flavor Unit/Verve) Mary J. Blige, Growing Pains (Matriarch/Geffen) One of the most consistent (musically, vocally and lyrically) of her untouchable career. Alicia Keys, As I Am (J Records) Dead Prez & Outlawz, Cant Sell Dope Forever J Dilla, Ruff Draft (Stones Throw) James JayDee aka J Dilla Yancey R.I.P. Patti Labelle, Gospel According To (Motown) Dan Johns, In The Face of Danger (Magnum Opus) South Cak Stand Up!!! Talib Kweli, EarDrum His best album since Reflection Eternal (w/ HiTek) Common, Finding Forever (GOOD Music) Great to see Common get all of those accolades, may his growth lyrically continue. Been a fan since Can I Borrow a Dollar. 8Ball & MJG, Riding High (Bad Boy) Not as dope as Living Legends, but always good to hear this Memphis Duo. Killer Mike, I Pledge Allegiance (Grind Time) Needs to get back with the Dungeon Family Devin The Dude, Waiting to Inhale (Rap-A-Lot) Strictly for the Hedz

(IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER EXCEPT #1) Mims, Music is My Savior (Capitol) Weak mic skillz and production explains why youre not hot!!! Kevin Michael, Kevin Michael (Atlantic) TI, TI vs. TIP (Grand Hustle) In comparison to KING, this record is adequate at best. Remember how wack Crown Royal (by RunDMC) was? T.I. was close with this one. Playaz Circle, Supply and Demand (DTP) Duffle Bag Boyz everywhere shook their heads in shame. Various, Daddys Little Girl Soundtrack. (Atlantic) Jill Scott, Collaborations (Hidden Beach) Refer to the Nas blurb above. Swizz Beatz, One Man Band (Full Surface) Rhyming is not for everyone. Cassidy, BARS (Full Surface) Needs to use his trials as fuel to his flavor. Cornel West, Never Forget (Hidden Beach) Cashis, County Hound EP (Shady/Interscope) Got played two times this year Twista, Adrenaline Rush 2007 (Atlantic) Keith Murray, RapMurrPhobia (DefSquad/Koch) Keith can definitely make better music. That Nobody joint with Tyrese was banging though. Chamillionaire, Ultimate Victory (Universal) T-Pain, Epiphany (Jive) Although having more guest appearances than anyone this year, his album stalled on cd players and the shelves. DJ Envy & Red Caf, The Co-Op (Konkrete Kaos/Shakedown) Chris Brown, Exclusive (Jive) Gorilla Zoe, Welcome to the Zoo Mike Jones, American Dreams (Ice Age/Asylum) Nuff Said!!!

2007 S WORST ALBUMS

Rich Boy, Rich Boy (Zone4/Interscope) Chrisette Michele, I Am (Def Jam) My personal favorite soul record this year. Chaka Khan, Funk This (Burgundy) Elisabeth Withers, It Can Happen to Anyone KRS-ONE & MARLEY MARL, Hip Hop Lives The Real Hip-Hop is Ova Here!!! Trey Songz, Trey Day (Atlantic) WC, Guilty By Affiliation (Lench Mob) Kanye West, Graduation (Roc-A-Fella) The Louis Vutton Don lost his mother this year, but he also lost a whole lot of haters. DJ Drama, Gangsta Grillz (Grand Hustle) Outkast (Da Art of Storytelling 4) put this album to rest. Be sure to check their technique. UGK, UnderGround Kingz (Jive) If Run DMC were from Texas, theyd be UGK. Pimp C R.I.P. J Holiday, Bac Of My Lac (Capitol) Keyshia Cole, Just Like You (Geffen) NeYo, Because of You (Def Jam) Lil Boosie, Bad Azz (Trill) Soulja Boy, SouljaBoyTellem.com (Collipark) No other artist had as much impact on the youth as this kid did. Zuri Wilson, Parallel Worlds (Militant Muzic)

13

Friday, January 18 New Brookland Tavern Baumer All Get Out Daniel Machado & The Guitar Show Band Hello Tomorrow Five Points Pub Hijacked Utopia The Near Misses Macs on Main Fatback and the Groove Band Headliners Everything After w/ Hour Zero and April's Fall Saturday, January 19 Five Points Pub Pink Floydian Slip New Brookland Tavern Every Time I Die Advent Sent By Ravens Macs on Main Macs All Stars

Art Bar BENTZ KIRBY'S BOB DYLAN NIGHT May (with Bentz Kirby) Brodie Porterfield Rob Lindsey Russell Goodman Elizabeth Allen Devils in Disguise Jon Coxe Ryan Goforth Papa String Band unplugged Josh McGill Stillhouse Alien Carnival Sunday, January 20 New Brookland Tavern HARDCORE FOR DARFUR Ninjaloot A Chime In Darkness Because Of This Your Chance To Die Fate To Be Determined Snapshots And Streetlights Rise Of The Tyrant We Sail At Dawn Diavolo And Then Came Terror Five Points Pub Corey Crowder Headliners Oceana w/ Examining Emma,

FourZeroAlpha, and Sylis Monday, January 21 New Brookland Tavern Sequoyah Prep School Tuesday's Debut Antipode KO Five Points Pub Mothers Finest Headliners Bentz Kirby's New Music Monday's and Open Mic Tuesday, January 22 New Brookland Tavern And Then There Was You Heart To Heart Atalaya Stages And Stereos Kill Anties Wednesday, January 23 New Brookland Tavern Badsurf Public Insult Utopia Jules Verne Macs on Main Open Jam

Five Points Pub Tim Reynolds & TR3 Headliners The Dirty Lowdown Thursday, January 24 New Brookland Tavern The Independents Aprils Fall Utopia Mountain Express Acoustic Five Points Pub "THE LAST WALTZ ENSEMBLE" PLAYING THE MUSIC OF BOB DYLAN & THE BAND Headliners Perpetual Groove Macs on Main Blues Jam Friday, January 25 Macs on Main Natural Desire Band New Brookland Tavern JAM ROOM 20TH ANNIVERSARY Isabelle's Gift Black Tusk 6 10 Split Sled The Skuds

Utopia Bentz Kirby, Jenn McCallister & May Weathermax Five Points Pub Red Emotion Riot Headliners Neverbetter Saturday, January 26 Headliners Jordan Trotter w/ Gaslight Street New Brookland Tavern 5:30 pm Adam Bryant Versus The Robot Cherry Case The Noise (9 pm doors) Lamb Handler Voodoo Guru Macs on Main Electric Voo Doo Band Five Points Pub Georgia, Analog Moon Art Bar Hot Lava Monster Cats and Cobras Sunday, January 27 New Brookland Tavern The Papa String Band, Avenue

Five Points Pub Wayne The Train Hancock January 28 New Brookland Tavern Build a Bridge Five Points Pub Spy For Hire January 29 New Brookland Tavern Courier The Devil and The Lion JackRunaway Corsica Headliners The Jealousy Curve January 30 New Brookland Tavern Diemona Rose Funeral Year Spent Cold I Am Divide Tales Of The Black Freighter January 31 New Brookland Tavern A Stained Glass Romance The Fire The Flood The Network Don The Reader Tyrants Of Deception

ROADTRIP
Charleston, South Carolina SATURDAY, JANUARY 19 Music Farm Big Head Todd & the Monsters SUNDAY, JANUARY 20 Music Farm Band of Horses FRIDAY, MARCH 7 Music Farm Matt Costa Myrtle Beach, South Carolina SATURDAY, JANUARY 26 House of Blues Ween Greenville, South Carolina SATURDAY, MARCH 1 Bi-Lo Center Kid Rock w/ Reverend Run Spartanburg, South Carolina WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 23 Ground Zero As I Lay Dying WEDNESDAY, MARCH 19 Ground Zero Napalm Death Charlotte, North Carolina SUNDAY, JANUARY 20 Southend Performing Arts Center Wu-Tang Clan WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 23 Tremont Sick Of It All THURSDAY, JANUARY 24 Neighborhood Theater North Mississippi Allstars

Carborro, North Carolina FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 29 Cats Cradle Junior Brown Raleigh, North Carolina THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 21 Lincoln Theater Henry Rollins Atlanta, Georgia MONDAY, JANUARY 21 The Loft at Center Stage DJ Shadow MONDAY, JANUARY 21 Masquerade 3 Inches of Blood TUESDAY, JANUARY 22 Tabernacle Marilyn Manson SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 16 Atlanta Civic Center Theater Bobby Blue Bland TUESDAY, MARCH 18 Variety Playhouse Bob Mould
JANUARY, 16 2008

Asheville, North Carolina MONDAY, JANUARY 21 Orange Peel Dillinger Escape Plan FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 8 Grey Eagle Fiery Furnaces FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 8 Thomas Wolfe Auditorium Indigo Girls

15

Best Movies of 2007

BEST AND WORST OF 2007 AND A 2008 SNEAK PEEK

Last year saw fewer dead spots than most years when it comes to quality film, but as usual, the release schedule was back-loaded for the Oscar hunt. I was able to cram in quite a few movies into December, and lots of them fall into the top and bottom lists so I'll toss in a mini-review where I can. Still, lots of things I wanted to see fell through the cracks. Most problematic was the inability to see P.T. Anderson's There Will Be Blood, by many accounts the best movie of 2007. Luckily it opens here this Friday (Jan. 18th) and will be included next time around.

BY FRED RICHARDSON

BEST OF 2007
(3-way tie) No Country for Old Men A Masterpiece. Up there with the Cohens' other great works like Fargo, Raising Arizona, and Miller's Crossing. See this movie NOW. Or see it again. Michael Clayton Zodiac (Yes, it was released in 2007) 2. Before The Devil Knows You're Dead 3. Ratatouille 4. Juno Charming, smart and funny. I know people who think the kids, particularly the title character, have dialog that seems too "written" or beyond the years of those speaking. I think they just hung out with a stupider crowd when they were young. The performances are nothing short of brilliant. Even when the story is a little predictable, the actors bring enough depth and emotional resonance to lift things up to the level of greatness. See it and have fun. 5. Knocked Up 6. 300 7. Sunshine For some damn reason, this movie didn't get a full U.S. release. Director Danny Boyle didn't knock it out of the park this time like he did with Trainspotting, but it's at least as good as 28 Days Later. Maybe it's because it's a mix

of a good movie with a terrible one- 2001 meets Event Horizon. All the acting is good, particularly Fantastic Four's Chris Evans showing he should get some real acting work sometime in the future. Rent this movie, or better yet buy it sight unseen like I did. 8. 28 Weeks Later 9. The Mist 10.(2-way tie) Stardust The Simpsons Movie Special Dual Prize for movies that opened on the same day and I saw and want to talk about even though they didn't make the lists. Sweeny Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street As far as musicals go, I'll put this in my top 10. As far as Tim Burton films, it's in the middle of the pack, though that's not a bad place to be. It's bloody fun, but not really for everyone. I loved some of the songs so much, I picked up the soundtrack, but you're more likely to hear me listen to a few cuts than the whole thing. I'll also most likely pick up any special edition DVD when it's released, I probably won't watch the thing as often as I would Sleepy Hollow, but more often than Mars Attacks. See it if you like blood and music in equal measure. Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story Not nearly as good as I expected from those involved. John C. Riley was good mostly, brilliant occasionally, but dull too often. Tim Meadows was only funny a fraction of the time he should have been and Kristin Wiig surprised me by being generic. Still, even when it's not so great, it's better than the latest American Pie straight to DVD fiasco. The Beatles scene is great fun and Jack White of the White Stripes as Elvis is only bested by Willem Dafoe's Jesus. Or maybe not. Also, Jonah Hill deserves an Oscar for imagining what someone's who never existed would be like if they survived being cut in half and aging for decades as a ghost in the imagination of the boy who killed him after he became a man. Of course I mean the imagination of the killer, cause the dead kid wouldn't have an imagination being dead and all.

WORST OF 2007
(numbers are as arbitrary as the list deserves.) 1. The Number 23 2. A-v-P: Requiem Crap. It just sucks. Avoid it. Rent it if you have quality drugs maybe or can see it for free. 3. Live Free or Die Hard 4. Death Sentence 5. The Golden Compass Cruddy adaptation of a passable fantasy trilogy installment. Wait for DVD.

MOST ANTICIPATED MOVIES OF 2008

1. Cloverfield 2. (3-way comic book tie) Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr. is perfect casting for Tony Stark.) The Dark Knight (Heath Ledger's Joker looks to truly capture the spirit of the character.) The Incredible Hulk (Not as much a sequel as a re-boot with Puny Ed Norton as Puny Banner) 3. WALL-E (Pixar can do no wrong, can they?) 4. Star Trek XI (I think it's up to 11...) 5. Rambo (??? !!!) 6. Semi-Pro (Will Ferrell and basketball. What's not to love?) 7. Horton Hears a Who! (I've resisted the previous Dr. Seuss travesties, but this one just feels different.) 8. Speed Racer (The Matrix guys doing a live action version of the classic anime) 9. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (No word regarding the inclusion of the Mastodon song) 10. Midnight Meat Train (Based on the Clive Barker short story) 11. The Day The Earth Stood Still (The most unnecessary remake of a great film that I hope isn't the travesty I expect. Starring Keanu Reeves. Really? Let me try to be the first in print to say: Keanu, barada nikt-whoah.) talkback@columbiacitypaper.com

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"The Worst of 2007"- look back, and feel shame.

Across 1 Big-budget movies, often 6 Some college degs. 9 Fulfill a debt 14 American ___ (U.S. territory) 15 Words before "glance" 16 Cream of the crop 17 Soulja Boy song on many "Worst of 2007" lists, despite hitting #1 19 Strong winds 20 Cancelled 2007 CBS dramedy that "comes close" to being "the worst show in the history of television," according to the New York Times 22 Dull pain 25 "Interview" actress Miller 26 The Snoopy ___-Cone Machine 27 "No way I'm believing that!" 29 Jason of the "Alvin and the Chipmunks" movie 31 Mentalist Geller 32 Subtlety 37 Greek goddess of the Earth 41 Hybrid fashion item named one of People.com's "2007 Worst Trends" 44 Punta del ___, Uruguay 45 Squish down 46 Org. that assigns numerical IDs 47 It comes from your butt? 49 Movie studio city, in Variety headline shorthand 51 Dr. J's former league 54 "Mortal ___" 59 Tennis star Kournikova 60 Sequel that made The Onion A.V. Club's "Worst Movies of 2007" list, with a rare "F" grade 63 Shining 64 One of the "Ten Worst Automobiles of 2007" as ranked by thetruthaboutcars.com 68 Stiller's comedy partner 69 ___-pitch softball 70 Spine-tingling 71 Gross 72 2003 Will Ferrell movie 73 Red carpet clothing Down 1 Key that helps you exit 2 Course standard 3 "But ___ Cheerleader" (1999 movie with RuPaul) 4 Get across 5 H.H. Munro's pen name 6 Faith centered in Haifa 7 "___ of Two Cities" 8 He of three sixes 9 Black Uhuru's genre 10 "In the Valley of ___" (2007 Tommy Lee Jones film) 11 Pharmaceutical output 12 Skipped the restaurant 13 Simple question type 18 Idiot boxes 21 Except that 22 Make happy 23 "Hannah Montana" star Miley 24 Criminal's bank job 28 Wind dir. 30 Narcissistic quality 33 Barefoot 34 Nav. rank 35 Conservative opener 36 ___-Magnon man 38 Bad lighting? 39 "Now we'll see how tough you are!" 40 Carne ___ steak (Taco Bell option) 42 Unwelcome veggie in your TV dinner's dessert compartment 43 LBJ's VP 48 Enclosed aerial walk 50 Rusty the bailiff's judge 51 Amy of "Enchanted" 52 English muffin displacer 53 Presidential also-ran Stevenson 55 En ___ 56 How a fun time may be had 57 ___ God 58 Greek letter T 61 Place to crash on campus 62 Wilbur was his owner 65 Dander 66 "___ for Outlaw" (1999 mystery novel) 67 Metroid platform, for short 2007 Jonesin' Crosswords For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle #0344.

JONESIN CROSSWORDS

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JANUARY, 16 2008

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TOPPING INTERNATIONAL ART NEWS FOR LAST YEAR

BY JUDIT TRUNKOS & TODD MOREHEAD
On May 15, 2007 Mark Rothkos White Center (Yellow, Pink and Lavender on Rose) sold for an astonishing $72,840,000 at Sothebys New York, becoming the most expensive contemporary painting at auction and overcoming the artists previous high of $22.4 million, achieved in November 2005. The following night at Christies, another contemporary piece was sold for a groundbreaking high price: Andy Warhols Green Car Crash (Green Burning Car I) went for $71,720,000, breaking the artists previous record of $17.4 million, set in November 2006. While both pieces fetched a very high price separately, you would still have to combine them to reach Pollocks staggering $140 million price tag. Damien Hirsts For the Love of God, a diamond-encrusted human skull, wins the award for most notorious artwork of 2007. The shiny skull, valued at $100 million, was barely sold, but the scandal and the continuous publicity brought Hirst much attention throughout the year, guaranteeing the artist prosperous future sales. A legal dispute surrounding Christoph Buchels installation Training Ground for Democracy (2007) was put on hold for months due to both creative and financial disputes between the artist and the venue (Massachusetts Museum of Contemporary Art). The budget, funded largely by the museum, reportedly doubled (the fuselage for a 727 jetliner, one of the many materials requested by the artist, could not be obtained, for example). The half finished installationwhich was to feature the interior of an abandoned movie theater, a fullscale house and other everyday items smashed within large cinderblock walls, police cruisers and guard shackswas kept in the museum and Buchel claimed MASS MoCA showed it without his permission, though the museum maintains they kept it behind vinyl tarps. The art institution wanted to either get the piece out of their space or exhibit it immediately, but the artist would only show his installation under his terms. In the end, after much media attention, the museum won and the artwork was disassembled. not as well known. Museums own the older pieces and are constantly looking to own contemporary art to continue the trend.

MOST EXPENSIVE PAINTINGS

$140 million for No. 5 By Jackson Pollock $137 million for Women III By William de Kooning $135 million for Portrait of Adele Bloch-Bauer I By Gustav Klimt $104 million for Boy with a Pipe By Pablo Picasso $95.2 million for Dora Maar with Cat By Pablo Picasso $82.5 million for Portrait du Dr. Gachet By Vincent van Gogh $78.1 million for Au Moulin de la Galette By Pierre-Auguste Renoir $76.7 million for The Massacre of the Innocents By Paul Rubens $71.5 million for Portrait de L'Artiste sans Barbe By Vincent van Gogh $60.5 million for Rideau, Cruchon et Compotier By Paul Czanne Further comparing the worlds most famous paintings with the Top 30 Famous Artists (compiled by Artcyclopedia), names like Jackson Pollock, de Kooning, and Gustav Klimt become hard to find, all of a sudden. While Pollock leads the most expensive list, he is only ranked 28 on the most famous artists list and ranked 61 at Artfacts.net. While de Koonings and Klimts works stand as the second and third most expensive paintings ever sold, their names are nowhere on the famous artists list. How is it possible that the artists who painted No.5, so far the most expensive painting ever sold, and the artists whose works Women III and Portrait of Adele Bloch-Bauer I sold for $137.5 million and $135 million respectively, are barely known by the general public? The answer is simple. Private collectors and galleries are always looking for the next master and many times, they create them by purchasing their work for exorbitant amounts and thus add to their notoriety. In other words, if Pollock, de Kooning or Klimt are not well-known enough yet, they will be soon as the collectors demand continues to rise for their canvases.
Above: The Physical Impossibility of Death in the Mind of Someone Living by Damien Hirst features a real sharl (although dead) and is considered one of the most bizarre artworks. Left: Also by Hirst, For the Love of God, a diamond-encrusted human skull, wins the award for most notorious artwork of 2007.

WORLDS TOP FIVE CITIES FOR ART LOVERS

Berlin, Germany Berlin has it all: a world-class collection of ancient Greek and Roman artifacts at the Altes Museum; art from Africa, the South Pacific and Native American cultures at the Dahlemer Museum; the Gemaldegalerie, featuring works from Botticelli, Rembrandt, Raphael, and Caravaggio; the Neue Nationalgalerie, featuring Ernst, Munch, Picasso, and others; and last but certainly not least, the Museumsinsel (a.k.a. Museum Island), featuring the Alte Nationalgalerie gallery, which houses a wonderful collection of Impressionist paintings, alongside works by German Impressionists like Max Lieberman. Chicago, USA Known primarily for the Art Institute of Chicago (housing Dali, Pollock and others) the windy city also boasts the Museum of Contemporary Art which features contemporary exhibits from all over the world including performance art and music. Florence, Italy Michelangelos hometown and the birthplace of the Renaissance. Need we say more? London, England The British Museum, itself, should be considered one of the great wonders of the world. Among thousands other priceless artifacts, it houses the Rosetta Stone, the Elgin marbles and currently features sculptures from the infamous Chinese Terracotta Army that was buried with Emperor Qin in 210 B.C. The National Gallery features works by Van Gogh and Da Vince and the Tate museum and Saatchi Gallery are both world-class venues for contemporary art. New York, USA The Big Apple has always held its own in international art circles. The Met, like the Louvre or the British Museum, offers so much, that it takes a few visits to take it all in. The

Guggenheim, a work of art in itself, houses works by Kandinsky and Picasso in its permanent collection; and the Museum of Modern Art, the Whitney Museum and the New Museum of Contemporary Art should definitely not be missed.

TOP 10 BIZARRE ARTWORKS

(by ListVerse.com)
The Physical Impossibility of Death in the Mind of Someone Living By Damien Hirst My Bed By Tracey Emin Bend It By Gilbert and George Proesch Dolls By Hans Bellmer Cadaver 3 By Gunther von Hagens Death II By Jack and Dinos Chapman Janet By Clare Shenstone Fountain By Marcel Duchamp Innocent X avec viande By Francis Bacon Vanitas: Flesh Dress for an Albino Anorectic By Jana Sterbak Looking at the weirdo list of arts, first of all I am glad to see Duchamp still on the list. One of the founders of Dada is holding the number 8 position with his readymade urinal among the equally messed up art pieces of today. As was expected from the 21st Century, at number 3, there is a YouTube piece by the Proesch brothers, portraying two, middle-aged men stiffly dancing. But it gets freakier as the list goes on. At number 5 there is von Hagens Cadaver 3 which, to me, looks like how Da Vincis studio might have looked like back in the time before the plastination process. With this work, von Hagens preserved a human bodyin this case a half-dissected pregnant women, showing the fetus inside the mothers stomach. Von Hagens is currently involved in the Body Worlds traveling exhibitions, which just ended in Charlotte, N.C. Finally at number 10 there is Jana Sterbaks sculpture made of steak. The meat-fabric creates a dress for the albino anorectic women covering her with the flesh she forced off her natural body. Also it is interesting to note that the bizarre art list is dominated by British artists (6 out of 10).

WITH ART, MORE EXPENSIVE DOES NOT MEAN BETTER

While 2007 saw a few staggering price tags for modern and contemporary art, the old adage remains: more expensive doesnt always mean better (or at least most beloved). Comparing lists of most expensive paintings with the most famous paintings, we found that none of the most famous paintings are on the expensive list. That, of course, does not mean that the Mona Lisa, for instance, did not make the top 10 most expensive. On the contrary, the Mona Lisa would probably lead the list with its appraised value of $670 million if it were for sale. But, it is not for sale. Nor is Da Vincis The Last Supper (#2), or The Starry Night by Van Gogh (#9). So what is for sale? Mostly pieces younger than 200 years old, works that have the potential to be considered masterpieces or older works that are

MOST FAMOUS PAINTINGS EVERYONE MUST SEE

Mona Lisa By Leonardo da Vinci The Last Supper By Leonardo da Vinci The Kiss By Gustav Klimt The Birth of Venus By Sandro Boticelli Girl with a Pearl Earring By Johannes Vermeer The Scream By Edvard Munch American Gothic By Grant Wood A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of la Grande Jatte By Georges Seurat The Starry Night By Vincent van Gogh The Great Wave off Kanagawa By Hokusai If we all must see the above paintings then lets look at a list of the worlds top five cities for art lovers.

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SavageLove
SEX ADVICE COLUMN
BY DAN SAVAGE
Please disregard my previous e-mail. As of the New Year, my girlfriend is no longer a virgin. No Longer Dating Virgin Girl Uh, gee. Sorry about that, NLDVG. Im not sorry that your girlfriend is no longer a virgin, of course, as virginity is a scourge that Ive dedicated my life to stamping out. Im sorry that I was unable to assist you. I could fob you off, I suppose, with that dodge favored by professional advice columnists everywhere: The volume of the mail I receive prevents me from answering every letter I receive blah blah blah. While its true that I receive more letters than I could ever possibly respond to (if your question doesnt appear in the column within three weeks, people, youre on your own), that wasnt the case with your letter. Fact is, NLDVG, I didnt answer your question because I was stumped. I didnt know what the hell to tell you about the particular issues you raised in your original letter. When you write an advice column, gentle readers, it looks like you have all the answers because you only run questions for which you have answers. This is as it should and must be; we advice professionals need people to think we have all the answers so that theyll keep sending us their questions. But this scam has a cruel and unintended consequence: When we dont respond to a question, the reader who sent it thinks, He/she doesnt care, or He/she is too busy, or He/she thought my question wasnt interesting. When the reality may be that he/she has no fucking clue. And here, to mark the New Year, are a few other letters that I havent answered for want of a clue. Im a guy into she-male porn, and Ive noticed that almost all the models in said porn have very tight scrotums. Like theyre cold. So Im wondering, whats the deal? Is it just the hormones? Or do they employ some kind of preshoot scrotaltightening technique? A bit of both, perhaps? Never Understood Tranny Scrotums Theres this new pastor at the church I visit. Shes gorgeous, an athlete, and can read ancient Greek. Ive managed to get her to lunch twice, despite her schedule, and I spelled out my interest explicitly. She seemed receptive, posited that dating someone in her new congregation could possibly cause issues, but may go hiking with me this weekend. So whats the protocol for dating a smokin-hot priestess? Not Very Good Xian I am a gay man who has been in a relationship with my partner for nine years. My lover has always planned on undergoing a sex change, from male to female. There were money and health problems, but hes ready now. Ive always told him that I love him, no matter what. Now hes gotten his breast implants and I have to admit I am completely weirded out by them. I feel like a hypocrite, but I dont know what to do! Ive never been with a woman, and I dont want to be with one now. I also love my partner intensely. Any advice? I feel like a jerk! Support him for nine years and then peace out because of boobs? Hating Myself And His Breasts Im 23, straight, and female. I have a fairly ravenous sexual appetite, and particularly enjoy administering oral sex to my lucky lovers. Unfortunately, Ive happened upon (what seems to be) a unique dilemma. An hour or so after swallowing particular loads, I get intense stomachaches, quickly transitioning into intense diarrhea. This only occurs with maybe one in five men, and seems to be particular to the individual (i.e., if a mans loads give me the shits, they always give me the shits; if a mans loads dont give me the shits, they never give me the shits). This has never really been too much of a problem for me in the pastI just didnt call guys back when it occurredbut I have started dating a one-in-fiver who is witty, great in the sack, and gorgeous, and I want to keep seeing him. So I have a few questions for you: (1) Does this happen to anyone else? (2) Is it me or is there something wrong with some guys semen? (3) Is there any remedy, besides spitting? Blowing Judiciously My wife and I enjoy a vigorous BDSM lifestyle and take part in some pretty heavy activities. One we havent tried but are anxious to is Tabasco sauce on mucous membranes, e.g., nostrils, clit, and anal tissues. Our question: What would we use to cool the burn should the application of Tabasco sauce to her anus or clit prove to be too much for her to endure? Master & Servant Im a gay man living in San Francisco. There are a couple of guys Im into. Like an actual couple. Ive messed around with each of them separately, and in both cases I was told to keep it hushhush because the other didnt know that he was being messed around on. My problem is not about their dishonesty or any of that bullshit. Its none of my business. What I really want to know is this: How can I get them both in the sack at the same time? Trying To Double Down Im a 19-year-old lesbian with the dyke equivalent of the does size matter problem: I have a really short tongue. Is there anything I can do? Or does size really not matter? Tongue Tied Teen Four years ago, my girlfriend and I made a sex tape. After we broke up, I continued to watch the video, finding myself more turned on by the action now that she was out of my life. I started taking pictures with my digital camera off the television, and before long I was putting these images of her on the internet for others to comment on. The tape is graphic, with clear shots of her face as she goes down on me, masturbates, and rides me. I feel terribleshes a sweet girl and it wasnt a bad breakupbut exposing her has become an uncontrollable turn-on for me. I cant bring myself to throw out the tape, which I feel is the only way I can control this urge. I sound like an awful person, but I cant seem to help myself. Your thoughts? Slave To Own Penis Ah, sometimes the answer is so obvioustake STOPs question here. There is only one possible response: Throw the tape out, you fucking piece of lowlife shit. The damage is already donethose clips and images will live online forever, and one day STOPs ex or her fianc or her kids or her grandchildren will find them. And then, if theres any justice, theyll find STOP and cut his balls off. But what of the other letters in this column? Im stumped. Tabasco sauce on the clit? Not into the boyfriends new rack? Is there hope for shorttongued dykes? Whats up with she-male sacks? And how do you successfully date a Christian minister who haslets face factsalready given your ass the brush-off? I dont have answers for these folks. If you do, gentle readers, send em in and well run the mother of all Savage Love web extras sometime in the next couple of weeks. Dan Savages podcast is now linked at citypaperasheville.com mail@savagelove.net
JANUARY, 16 2008

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