WOMEN, SOCIETY AND A

VIRTUOUS CONDUCT
 WOMEN, SOCIETY AND A VIRTUOUS CONDUCT
Being part of the society in which we are existing, the expression/thought of
modesty and righteousness may appear to be outmoded. Today’s woman, though
modern, cultured and unshackled, is more oppressed than any woman in the most
culturally oppressive village in Afghanistan. The oppression does not mean an
inability to choose one’s clothing, one’s life style or one’s friends. The oppression
is our inability to see the ingresses being made in the peace and tranquillity of a
chaste society and unearth the real face of the crumbling society. The oppression
is an idea that a woman’s beauty is public and that beauty admiration is equal to
respect.

If one can step out of this society/circle in which he/she lives one may be
able to see the reality, which, being part of the society/circle, one cannot see. One
cannot analyse that the highest paid woman are those who expose themselves to
the public display, like actresses, models and even strip-tease dancers. If some
how it becomes possible to detach oneself from the society/circle for some time,
one will be able to see that the relationship between men and women is unfairly
stacked in the men’s direction. A woman dresses to attract man and lives in a false
state of living according to her own wishes, or living the way she feels like. It is a
painful reality, even if one does not believe in it, that the woman feels pleased
when she is admired by a man, and a man admires a woman who exposes herself
to him, in keeping with his impious needs. It is not liberty, it can, however, be
termed as exploitation of women by men, the exploitation taken by women as
approbation. There is no way for a person to know that he is dirty if he has never
been clean, similarly the oppressed person will never know about oppression till
he/ she comes out of the darkness of that oppression. It is not oppression to protect
yourself and society; instead oppression is to voluntarily throw yourself into the
quagmire while denying it is dirty. A woman should be judged by society for her
mind, soul and heart instead of loveliness and hype. A woman can make people
respect herself by her self-respecting attitude, by refusing to become a source of
hilarity and pleasure for the lewd men. A thinking mind, an insightful heart and an
untainted soul should be able to analyse the events and adopt a suitable life style
rather than following what is happening in the society or what is in vogue. The
(metaphorically) ignorant, deaf, dumb, blind and void of wisdom, insist on doing
what their forefathers had been doing “even though their fathers were void of
wisdom and guidance”1. Ask the prettiness and loveliness saga from the women
who have crossed the age of being stunning, pretty or appealing, a woman who
has crossed the age of having an attractive body, irrespective of beauty of her
character and spirit.
A woman should be able to carry out an in-depth analysis of the dress, outfit
and interaction with the men, in vogue in the society and assess the genesis of the
attire, costume and relation with men. She may discover certain sneaky facts,
which were, perhaps, not known to her. Why a woman is lured to put on dresses
wherein she is exposed to the men? The modern women may deny the fact and
claim these dresses as their own choice out of their own free will etc. but the truth
remains unchanged, that, it is only to quench the immodest desires of the male.
Man has duped woman by ensnaring them in a magnificence/approbation
syndrome. Has, ever, a man praised a good heart a clean soul and a chaste
character of a woman; conversely, beauty of a woman is admired because it suits
the lecherous desires of a man. Its time for us, the members of society, to take an
account of our deeds and re-establish the forgotten principles concerning the good
and the bad and adopt a way of life which will take us out of the quagmire in
which the society is sinking at the moment.
The virtuous women are advised to “lower their gaze, guard their modesty
and they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what must
ordinarily appear thereof. They should cover themselves well (with care), cast
their outer garments over their persons (when outside): that is most convenient
that they should be known as such and not molested. They should not be seen
(without a careful covering of themselves) except to their husbands their fathers
their husbands' fathers their sons their husbands' sons their brothers or their
brothers' sons or their sisters' sons or small children who have no sense of the
shame of sex. They should not strike their feet in order to draw attention to their
hidden ornaments”2. “Such elderly women who have passed the prospect of
marriage there is no blame on them if they lay aside their (outer) garments
provided they make not a wanton display of their beauty: but it is best for them to
be modest”3. Such women will attain bliss. “Impure women are for impure men
and impure men are for impure women; and women of purity are for men of
purity and men of purity are for women of purity”4. The most reverential women
are the ones “who believe in God, devout, true, patient, constant, humble, who
give charity, who fast (and deny themselves), who guard their chastity and who
engage much in God's praise for them has God prepared forgiveness and great
reward”5. A reward much valuable than few dollars.

For a sterilized society, the most valuable object is chastity, of men and
women, at all times, before marriage, during marriage and after the dissolution of
marriage. Those guilty of illicit practices must be shutout of the marriage circle of
chaste men and women. A woman deserves to be protected with great care; the
worst are the ones who humiliate women through putting forward slanders or
scandalous suggestions about them without adequate sanity. “If anything is said
against a woman's chastity, it should be supported by evidence twice as strong as
would ordinarily be required for business transactions, or even in murder cases.
Failing such preponderating evidence, the slanderer should himself be treated as a
wicked transgressor and punished severely”6. Slandering "chaste women and
chaste men, must be punished, however slandering women is more abhorrent.

As mothers, best of the women are the one who, instead of doing what is
done in society, can teach their child (the future of society/mankind):- "O my
child!" if there be the weight of a mustard-seed and it were hidden in a rock or
anywhere in the heavens or on earth it will be brought forth one day, so take an
account of your deeds. "O my child “enjoin what is just and forbid what is wrong:
and bear with patient constancy whatever happens to you; for this is firmness of
purpose in the conduct of affairs. "And swell not your cheek (for pride) at human
beings nor walk in insolence through the earth; because arrogance is detrimental
and you can neither split the earth asunder nor reach the mountains in height.
"And be moderate in your pace and lower your voice; for the harshest of sounds,
without doubt, is the braying of the ass. “Do you not see that all things in the skies
and on earth flow to you in exceeding measure (both) seen and unseen? Yet there
are among the people who do not understand and deny the facts, in arrogance,
without knowledge and without guidance” 7. You must understand that there is
only one reality and “whatever else is invoked besides that, is falsehood”8. That
reality is most high, most great, exalted in power, full of wisdom and “if all the
trees on earth were pens and the ocean were ink with seven oceans behind it to
add to its supply, yet that reality would not be exalted (in the writing)”9. That
reality is the one who speaks to one of his beloved humans, son of a chosen
woman (chosen above the women of all nations), “O Jesus the son of Mary!
Recount my favor to you and to your mother. Behold! I strengthened you with the
Holy Spirit so that you speak to the people in childhood and in maturity. Behold! I
taught you the Book and Wisdom the Law and the Gospel. And behold! You make
out of clay as it were the figure of a bird by My permission and your breath into it
and it become a bird by My permission and you heal those born blind and the
lepers by My permission. And behold! You bring forth the dead by My
permission”10.

The most honorable members of a society are the ones who (instead of
admiration hunt) “humble themselves, avoid vain talk and are active in deeds of
kindness. These are the ones who abstain from sex, except with those joined to
them in the marriage bond (but those whose desires exceed those limits are
transgressors). These are the ones who faithfully observe their trust and their
covenants”11. “These are the ones who walk on the earth in humility and when the
ignorant address them they honorably avoid them. These are the ones who spend
(complete or portion of) the night in adoration, in thinking and in a positive
meditation. These are the ones who wish and strive to avert, from them, the wrath
of grievous affliction (which is) evil indeed as an abode and as a place to rest in.
These are the ones who, when spend, are not extravagant and not niggardly but
they hold a just balance between those extremes. These are the ones who do not
slay life as it has been made sacred except for just cause. These are the ones who
do not commit fornication (and anyone that does this not only meets punishment
but he dwell in ignominy. unless one repents, believes and works righteous deeds.
Some day evil of such persons may be chanced into good). These are the ones
who witness no falsehood and if they pass by futility they pass by it with
honorable avoidance. These are the ones who when are advised with the truth,
droop not down as if they were deaf or blind”12. These are the people who, “when
listen to the truth, you will see their eyes overflowing with tears for they recognize
the truth: they pray: "Our Lord! We believe; write us down among the
witnesses”13. These are the ones “who wish to be granted unto them offspring who
will be the comfort of their eyes and they desire to lead the righteous. These are
the ones who will be rewarded with the highest place because of their patient
constancy; therein shall they be met with salutations and peace”14. Salutations and
peace from someone, there is “none other like him. He knows (all things) both
secret and open; he is most gracious and most merciful. There is someone, there is
none other like him the sovereign the holy one the source of peace and perfection.
The guardian the preserver of safety the exalted in might the irresistible the
supreme: glory to him! (High is he). There is someone, there is none other like
him the creator the evolver the bestower of forms or colors. To him belong the
most beautiful names: whatever is in the skies and on earth declares his praises
and glory: and he is the exalted in might the wise”15.

We may find our lost direction if we are aware of establishing a contact

with God and the heartfelt approach of making a yearning, let all the human
beings make a supplication that, “praise be to the one who is the cherisher and
sustainer of the worlds, most gracious most merciful, and master of the day of
judgment. Only you we adore and only your aid we seek. Show us the straight
way. The way of those on whom you have bestowed your grace those whose
(portion) is not wrath and who go not astray16. “Blessed are you, who made
constellations in the skies and placed therein a light and a moon giving light. And
it is you who made the night and the day to follow each other for such as they
have the will to celebrate your praises or to show their gratitude”17. “You are the
light of the heavens and the earth. The parable of your light is as if there were a
niche and within it a light: the light enclosed in glass: the glass as it were a
brilliant star: lit from a blessed tree, an olive neither of the east nor of the west
whose oil is well-nigh luminous though fire scarce touched it: light upon light!
You guide whom you will, to your light”18. "O lord of power and rule you give
power to whom you please and you strip off power from whom you please. You
provide with honor whom you please and you bring low whom you please. In
your hand is all good. Verily over all things you have power. You cause the night
to gain on the day and you cause the day to gain on the night. You bring the living
out of the dead and you bring the dead out of the living; and you give sustenance
to whom you please without measure”19. “On no soul you place a burden greater
than it can bear. It gets every good that it earns and it suffers every ill that it
earns. "Our Lord! Don’t condemn us if we forget or fall into error; our Lord!
Don’t lay on us a burden like that which you did lay on those before us; Our Lord!
Don’t lay on us a burden greater than we have strength to bear. Blot out our sins
and grant us forgiveness. Have mercy on us. You are our Protector; help us
against those who stand against faith”20.

What has been happening to the women in the past is nothing but absurdity.
“Whenever news of the birth of a female child used to be brought to one of the
fathers, his face would darken and he would be filled with inward grief. With
shame he used to hide himself from people because of the bad news he has had!
Shall he retain it on sufferance and contempt or bury it in the dust? Ah! What an
evil choice they would decide on”21. Surely your place is not what a man of today
decides for you or what an ignorant father of dark ages used to do. O, woman
come back, find and insist on your right place in society, a place of respect dignity
and security. O, woman you should be respected for your mind, your heart, your
soul and your dignity. You are the nucleus of the society around which everything
orbits, a scarlet thread of the social fabric. You are not for looking good to men,
therefore, don’t be a slave to a man’s desires. Think and rethink you will see the
light at the end of the tunnel.

You can still come back, as someone assures you, “when people ask
concerning me I am indeed close to them, I listen to the yearning of every
suppliant when he calls me”22. “O human being! What has seduced you from your
lord most beneficent? He who created you, fashioned you in due proportion and
gave you a just bias; in whatever form he wills does he put you together” 23.
Remember a day is ordained to appear when the evildoer will say "It was God
who gave you a promise of truth: I too promised but I failed in my promise to
you. I had no authority over you except to call you but you listened to me: then
reproach not me but reproach your own souls. I cannot listen to your cries nor
can you listen to mine”24.

By Ehsan Mughees ehsan_mughees@yahoo.com

Notes
1. Quran 2:170
2. Quran 24:31
3. Quran 24:60
4. Quran 24:26
5. Quran 33:35
6. Quran 24:4
7. Quran 31:16 – 20
8. Quran 22:62
9. Quran 31:27
10.Quran 5:110
11.Quran 23:2 – 8
12.Quran 25:63 – 73
13.Quran 5:83
14.Quran 25:74 – 75
15.Quran 59:22 – 23
16.Quran 1:1 – 7
17.Quran 25:61 – 62
18.Quran 24:35
19.Quran 3:26 – 27
20.Quran 2:286
21.Quran 16:58 – 59
22.Quran 2:186
23.Quran 82:6 – 8
24.Quran 14:22