Dillon Simpson Ms.

Caruso ENGL 1102 2 April 2012

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Final Proposal/Pitch The End of Terrorism is a movie script about the life of a U.S. Navy Seal named Jack Killman who worked his whole life to fight for freedom and finally achieved his justice by killing Osama bin Laden. The movie is relatable to many Americans and would relate to a large population of people that were affected by the dreadful day of September 11, 2001. That day had a direct impact on the U.S. economy, our armed forces; people that lost loved ones, and a sense of American pride. It was the beginning of the war on terror and Americans were in need of a hero that would end terrorism. Throughout the movie, a depiction of the journey of Jacks life after that dreadful day, the day he lost both of his parents in the World Trade Center, will be displayed. The location of the movie would be easy and cost friendly. It would be filmed in New York City and at an Army base. Actors will have the same appearances the Navy Seals do. They will be athletic, handsome, and muscular. They will express patriotism for their country and will do anything to protect it. The inspiration of this movie is developed by the American reaction to the death of the worst terrorist of modern time, Osama bin Laden. The movie does a good job in relating to every American with something that truly impacted their lives and in showing their sense of relief when bin Ladens life was ended. It all started on September 11, 2001 when hijackers took over four planes hit the World Trade Center towers, the Pentagon, and a field outside of Shanksville,
Beth Caruso 4/14/12 3:01 PM Comment [4]: Why? Beth Caruso 4/14/12 3:01 PM Comment [3]: Why? Where is your purpose? Beth Caruso 4/14/12 3:00 PM Comment [2]: You say the same information in two different ways in this sentence. Beth Caruso 4/14/12 2:58 PM Comment [1]: Put movie titles in italics.

Beth Caruso 4/14/12 3:01 PM Comment [5]: Use stronger wording.

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Pennsylvania. Luckily, the last plane didnt hit a target in Washington D.C. like it was intended. After the attacks, Osama bin Laden claimed responsibility for these attacks led by his terrorist group Al-Qaeda. Ever sense, bin Laden has been hiding in fear for his life because the United States was pursuing him. The main idea came from his death inside of a compound in Abbottabad, Pakistan. The U.S. Navy Seals Team 6 raided the compound and killed bin Laden on May 2, 2011. It was a monumental day for the United States. Pride filled the nation and Americans felt better knowing that such a scary man was no longer out there. This begins our story. The main character in the story is Jack Killman, an ordinary kid living in New York City where his parents were both accountants working in the World Trade Center. At the age of eighteen Jack enlisted in army. He always thought it was an obligation to fight for his country. After being in the army for three years, Jack was in New York City, on his time off, grocery shopping when he looked at the television and saw the planes hit the World Trade Center. He knew he parents were towards the very top of the building and knew there was a chance he would never see them again. Days later he found out that his suspicion had become reality; Jack would be without his parents for the rest of his life. Jack had vowed that everyday he was going to do everything in his power to be the one that killed Osama bin Laden. He had worked his way up the ranks and was nearing becoming a navy seal. Five years on the exact date of the death of his parents, Jack was promoted to become a U.S. Navy Seal. His hard work had paid off and he was beginning to see the benefits. Another four years had passed, the nine year reunion was about to be mourned when Jack got a call telling him to fly to Washington D.C. for a very important meeting with President Obama and his best friend and C.I.A. director Leon Panetta. Jack had known Leon from his early

Beth Caruso 4/14/12 3:02 PM Comment [6]: What target? Be more specific.

Beth Caruso 4/14/12 3:02 PM Comment [7]: Of what?

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days in the army. Jack got on a plane and was there on September 11, 2010. This was one of the biggest days of his life. The news he was about to receive was going to be life altering. He was going to be told that he was the man going to be leading the attack on Osama bin Laden. This is what Jack had been waiting for his whole entire life. April 28, 2011, Jacks U.S. Navy Seals Team 6 got on the plane to head to Abbottabad, Pakistan. This is where the planning of the mission went on, and the mission date had been settled to May 2, 2011. This was going to be the most important day of Jacks life. He could finally avenge his parents death. The day fell upon the team. Jack led them inside the compound and when he was in there he split up with his team and found bin Laden in a room with one of his wives. He was about to shoot when bin Ladens son attacked him with a knife. This gave bin Laden ample time to try and escape for one of the getaway cars. Jack killed bin Ladens son and pulled out his sniper and hit bin Laden in the head. Bin Laden's death is an extraordinary moment for Americans and all who have lost loved ones in horrifying, pointless acts of terrorism (DOOBL par. 11). The American reaction was going to be crazy and the whole world would be a better place without Osama bin Laden. This was only a short synopsis of the story. There is really only one main character with three co-stars. Jack Killman and Leon Panetta are practically identical other than the blonde and brown hair. Jack is six foot, largely built, brown hair; brown eyed and is one the scariest looking man that many people have ever seen. It is very modern because between 2001-2011 not much had changed other than the economy going sour. This movie is aimed to give the audience the most accurate depiction of May 11, 2011 and the events that led up to it.
Beth Caruso 4/14/12 3:08 PM Comment [12]: Why May 11? Also, there are sources that say May 1 and sources that say May 2 as his death date. I seem to remember it being on the news as May 1. Beth Caruso 4/14/12 3:08 PM Comment [13]: This paragraph seems to have quite a few ideas packed into it. Beth Caruso 4/14/12 3:06 PM Comment [10]: Use more formal and concrete language here. Beth Caruso 4/14/12 3:06 PM Comment [11]: Use more concrete and formal language here, or take this out. Beth Caruso 4/14/12 3:06 PM Comment [9]: You say all of this in the paragraph above. Beth Caruso 4/14/12 3:05 PM Comment [8]: Make these sentences more succinct for more of an impact.

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This movie should have no problem attracting a very broad audience as it relates to many Americans throughout the country, if not every American. This movie will be life altering for people and could change the way they viewed the death of Osama bin Laden. It is essential to educate the children and adults of the United States on what really happened on the day of May 11, 2011. It is a day that will always be remembered and never be forgotten. Forever, Americans will feel that they have found justice in the death of Osama bin Laden. America will always be strong, it will always be the best, and this movie will be a demonstration of this.
Beth Caruso 4/14/12 3:11 PM Comment [14]: Dillon, You seem to transition well into the plot part of your paper, but when you come out of the plot and begin talking about your characters and other ideas, you seem to stray from your points. Work to develop those paragraphs a bit more. Tighten your language and keep your focus throughout those paragraphs. What can those paragraphs lend to your paper? Im looking forward to seeing what youll revise in your portfolio! -Ms. C

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Works Cited "The Long-Awaited News: The death of Osama bin Laden reflects strong leadership and painstaking intelligence work." New York Times 03 May 2011: 22. Newspaper Source Plus. Web. 12 Feb. 2012.