The Coffee Corner ~ Contact Us!

Phone: (306) 862-3401 Box 2512, Nipawin, SK S0E1E0 Email: coffeecorner@sasktel.net www.coffeecornerpaper.ca
NEW! Download & print your own copy @ www.coffeecornerpaper.ca Game Solutions now located on the website!

The Coffee Corner Paper

Submit Jokes, Classifieds, Events, Games & more! www.coffeecornerpaper.ca Q: Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day? unfair. The first rule of holes: If you are in one, stop digging. A: Regular rocks are It was all so different before everytoo heavy. thing changed. Q: Why can't you Some days you're the dog, some days borrow money from a leprechaun? you're the hydrant. A: Because they're always a little short. I wish the buck stopped here. I could Q: Why do leprechauns have pots use a few ... o'gold? It's hard to make a comeback when you A: They like to "go" first class! Q: How can you tell if an Irishman is having a good time? A: He's Dublin over with laughter! Q: What's Irish and stays out all night? A: Patty O'furniture! Q: How did the Irish Jig get started? A: Too much to drink and not enough restrooms! Q: What do you call an Irishman who knows how to control his wife? A: A bachelor. haven't been anywhere. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom. If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would have put them on my knees. Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. It's not hard to meet expenses. They're everywhere. What if there were no hypothetical questions? If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

March 2012

FREE Take One Home!

Inside This Issue:

JOKES, RIDDLES & QUOTES CROSSWORD & SODOKU NORTH EAST EVENT CALENDER NIPAWIN COMMUNITY UPDATE H&R BLOCK TAX TIPS CLASSIFIEDS WELLNESS TIPS
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is hehomeless or naked? Can vegetarians eat animal crackers? If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? Why do they put Braille on the drivethrough bank machines? How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign? One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.

The Coffee Corner Paper is available at the Following Locations:

~ Gienis at the Evergreen ~ D&Ds Diner ~ Chamber of Commerce Office ~ Fas Gas ~ Gypsy Moon Herbal Shoppe ~ Sunrise Caf ~ Bennys Bistro ~ Anns Second Hand ~ The Oasis Centre ~ Salvation Army Thrift Store ~ A&W Express ~ Splash & Lube Car Care Centre ~ The Pineland Co-op Bistro ~ Nipawin Bus Depot ~ A Kute Kut Hair Design ~ Trends Hair Studio ~ Davis Rexal Drugs Pharmacy ~ Northern Greens Resort ~ Tobin Lake Motel ~ The Discovery Playhouse & Cool Beans Caf ~ Northern Transmission ~ Harpers Medical Clinic ~ The Vision Centre ~ Tim Hortons (Nipawin) ~ The Co-operators (Nipawin)

NEW! Also watch for the Coffee Corner in select locations in Melfort & Tisdale! Contact us for a subscription to the Coffee Corner paper for your workplace Coffee Room or to receive a e-copy in your inbox!

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Mindy & Body ~ Home & Finances ~ Spirit & Relationships
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Products, Tips & Resources to Help You Achieve Wellnessin Every Aspect of Your Life!

OPEN TuesdaySaturday 300 Center St, Nipawin, Sk

Would a fly without wings be called a Q: Why did St. Patrick drive the snakes walk? out of Ireland? What do you do when you see an endanA: He couldn't afford plane fare. gered animal eating an endangered All reports are in. Life is now officially plant?

Custom-built

Residential Cabinetry

Kitchens, Bath Vanities, Hutches, Office Cabinetry, Laminate, Quartz or Granite Counters & more.
Rick & Sandy Slusar 8623776 ricsan.enterprises@sasktel.net

507 Alfred St. Nipawin 862 - 9240

The Coffee Corner ~ Jokes

Ten Riddles
Rental signs Digital printing Biz signs Vehicle decals Biz cards License plates Boat registration

The Coffee Corner ~ Tax Tips sponsored by H&R Block

TAX TIPS FOR FAMILIES WITH CHILDREN
to benefit from a $2,131 Child Tax Credit for each child under the age of 18. This will result in a federal tax saving of $320 per child. And if one parent cannot use the entire amount to lower their tax payable, the unused amount can be transferred to a spouse or common-law partner.

1. What gets wetter and wetter the more it dries? 2. You throw away the outside and cook the inside. Then you eat the outside and throw away the inside. What did you eat? 3. What goes up and down the stairs without moving? 4. What can you catch but not throw? 5. I can run but not walk. Wherever I go, thought follows close behind. What am I? 6. What's black and white and red all over? 7. What goes around the world but stays in a corner? 8. I have holes in my top and bottom, my left and right, and in the middle. But I still hold water. What am I? 9. Give me food, and I will live; give me water, and I will die. What am I? 10. The man who invented it doesn't want it. The man who bought it doesn't need it. The man who needs it

doesn't know it. What is it? If someone with multiple personalities threatens to If one synchronized swimkill himself, is it considered mer drowns, do the rest a hostage situation? drown, too? If you ate pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry? If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? Is there another word for synonym? Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Claim the kids: Families will continue

JSI

862-9745 211 Centre St.

JSI

Whose cruel idea was it for Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?" the word "lisp" to have a "S" in it? You should never say anyWhy is the alphabet in that thing to a woman that even hints that you think she's order? Is it because of pregnant. that song? If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff? The one constant among all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers. If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him... is he still wrong? Nobody cares if you can't dance. Just dance.

Credit for being active: The Childrens Fitness Amount is a non-refundable credit is worth up to $500 for children under the age of 16 enrolled in an eligible program of physical activity. Not every program meets the eligibility guidelines so you need to ensure you know the requirements. Make sure you keep your receipts. Disabled children will also qualify for the credit if they are under 18. Manitoba, Yukon, Ontario, Nova Scotia and Saskatchewan also have a provincial fitness credit.
credit worth up to $500 for children under the age of 16 enrolled in an eligible program. This could include language classes, Girl Guides or Scouts, art classes or ballet lessons. Again, keep your receipts to make the claim.

Riddle Solutions:
10.A coffin 9.Fire 8.Asponge 7.A Stamp A newspaper A sunburned penguin OR A Zebra painted Red OR 6.An embarrassed skunk OR 5.A nose 4.A cold 3.A rug 2. An ear of corn. OR A Chicken 1.A towel

Artistic credit: The new Childrens Arts Credit is another non-refundable

Universal Child Care Benefit: This is available to any family with children under the age of six regardless of the household income. Each child under six is eligible for the $100 per month benefit. UCCB is taxable in the hands of the lowerincome spouse.
RC66, Canada Child Tax Benefit Application and send it to the CRA. This form will register their child for the GST/HST Credit and Universal Child Care Benefit (UCCB) as well as the Child Tax Benefit.

Child Tax Benefit: Upon the birth of a child, parents should complete Form

Locally & privately owned and operated. Traditional, Memorial, Graveside & Direct Services. Pre-arrangements & pre-planning services available. Competitive & fair pricing with no hidden fees. Hassle free transfer of pre-arrangements Monument & Memorial Sales Niches available for purchase in the

You ve got people!

306-862-4545

At H&R Block, we believe that all of our clients are entitled to the highest level of service. Our tax professionals undergo the most rigorous training program in the business, so they know how to maximize each and every one of the returns they prepare. In other words, we ensure that you will benefit from every deduction and credit available to you.

Coventry Columbarium located in Mabel Hill Cemetery.

Phone: 306-862-4233 Email: coventry@sasktel.net

Located at 212 Railway Ave East, Nipawin

The Coffee Corner ~ Classifieds Submit your classifieds www.coffeecornerpaper.ca

I want to sell my Acer Aspire One $150 for it. For more information Netbook 200.00/ BB Playbook call 862-2124 and leave a mes400.00 OBO "see Lloyd" 276sage.862-2124 8704 Water Bottle for sale. Can be used For sale 50 in snowblower 18.5 for ferrets, rabbits, guinea pigs etc. Hp motor front mount for a quad. Asking $5.862-2124 $3000 obo768-3697 Large Hamster ball. Big enough to For sale HD utility trailer 4.5 X use for a rat, chinchilla, guinea pig 8ft $500 Portable gas Lincoln etc. Asking $5.862-2124 welder 200 amp $1500609-0085 Large Cage for sale. Dimensions Looking for a good used car that are 17" high by 39" long by 20" is very economical on gas862wide. Can be used for rabbits, 1973 ferrets, guinea pigs etc. Asking $50.862-2124 4 Golden retriever pups for sale 1st shots vet checked very friendly Free Spirit seated exercise bike for make good hunting dogs. $400 sale $75.00 OBO812-7571 ea768-3923 Antique Twin bed and frame for im looking to sell my 12''inch sub- sale $150.00 OBO812-7571 box bassworx box speakers not included $100 o.b.o306-862-5729 Queen sized bed for sale.... two years old $200.00 OBO812-7571 WANTED: a good used 14 inch tire862-4601 2007 regency 1100 wood burning fireplace. $400 OBO.812-7571 1981 Kawasaki Drifter snowmobile, 440 Fan Cooled engine, starts For sale - smaller white microand runs great, Asking wave stand (on wheels with shelf) $800.00862-4601 $10.00862-5790 Great Pyrenees/Border Collie cross pups 1 female, 3 males ready to go. $25 each862-2728 Pink Nintendo DS lite for sale, eight games come with it. Asking Looking for a working computer tower reasonably priced!306-8625155 Looking for a double bed frame, reasonably priced.862-2445

Brought to you by:

www.cjnefm.com Listen Live online! Ph: 862-9478 24in. $50.00 takes all. Good for signs.428-2204 looking for a chuahuahua thats for sale or @ a reasonable price or to give away would love to get one ,male or female !768-2317

The Coffee Corner ~ Time Teasers

Weather Crossword Puzzle
Find and circle all of the words that are hidden in the grid. The remaining letters spell an additional weather word.
BAROMETER BLIZZARD CELSIUS CLOUDS COLD CYCLONE DOWNPOUR DRIZZLE DROUGHT FAHRENHEITFLOOD FLURRIES FOG FORECAST FREEZE FROST HAIL HOT HUMIDITY HURRICANE ICE LIGHTNING MIST MONSOON OVERCAST RAIN SHOWER SLEET SNOW SQUALL STORM SUNNY

BlackJack Pro 26 Nitro...remote controlled boat like new. Call for more pics or info. $300 OBO8622624 wanted-square alfalfa bales for deer feed.862-7763

Looking for small acquarium not Vintage Snowmobile For Sale being used - cracked glass not a 1977 Arctic Cat Cheetah 5000 problem276-8317 500cc fan cooled, very nice condition - $1100.00862-2434 mtd garden tractor 20 hp twin 42 inch cut twinbaggers 46 inch Looking for house to rent blade brand new ,800.00 firm862276-2343 4402 1984 dodge 4x4 made into a mud fling trk needs rearend work 360 auto 4 barrell862-7084 1984 dodge 1/2 ton. runs good. asking $500.00862-4152 I am looking for a 54" mattress only.Not looking to spend too much as it is for a spare room in basement :)306-873-2499 Black berry for sale very good condition an works really good asking thirty dollors call or text at 2768771276-8771 Looking for someone that can flash or reprogram my computer on my ford explorer921-3212 antique round saw blades one is 36 in. other four are between 18 to 1991 Chev Astro Ext. Air Cond, Tilt, Cruise, Command Start. Very Nice Cond. Runs & Drives Exc. $1300. A must to see & drive.306812-7730 Female Leopard Gecko for sale. Very friendly. Loves to be held. Comes with everything you need to take care of her. Asking $50.00. Call and leave a message if interested.862-2124 2000 Dodge 2500 Slt Laramie 4x4 Quad cab,Auto, New tires, Many New Parts 376,000kms.$9000.00 Would like to trade for 1986 or older chev/gmc 4x4 3/4 ton truck.Call or Text 276-0065306862-2545

Coffee Specialty Coffees Soup of the Day Snacks

211 1st St. West (located behind RBC) Phone: 862-3833 www.thediscoveryplayhouse.ca

TEMPERATURE THERMOMETER THUNDER TORNADO

TSUNAMI TYPHOON VISIBILITY WINDY

Sudoku
Fill in the blanks so that each row, each column, and each of the nine 3x3 grids contain one instance of each of the numbers 1 through 9 .

Nipawin: 862-0400 Melfort: 752-4524 walter_fedorychka_melfort@cooperators.ca www.cooperators.ca 218 Railway Ave East, Nipawin 818 Main Street, Melfort

The North East Community Event Calendar ~

March 2012
Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat

Sponsored by

Town of Nipawin Community Update ~ Overview

1 4 11 18 25 5 12 19 26 6 13 20 27 7 14 21 28 8 15 22 29

2 9 16 23 30

3 10 17 24 31

*Submit Non-profit/community events at www.yourtownnews.ca or email: info@yourtownnews.ca

Promotion Committee Meeting for the Town of Nipawin, March 7 @ 7pm. Call the Nipawin & District Chamber of Commerce if you wish to attend. 862-5252 Magician Eric LeClerc in Zenon Park, March 8th at the Community Hall @ 7pm Zabaya in Carrot River March 10 @ 7pm, an evening of Dining & Entertainment. Presented by the Carrot River Ukrainian Dance Club. Tickets $20/adult or $10/ages 10 and under. Call June Hill or Susan Sauder for more details

Church & MUCC.

Melfort Music Festival Highlights & The Carrot River Skating Club Soup & Awards Program, March 23 @7pm at Sandwich & Dessert Sale March 16, 11 the CJVR Performing Arts Theatre. -1pm @Pioneer House on Main St. Carrot Candle Lake Golf Resort Fishing River. Derby, March 24 @9am-4pm. Prizes Carrot River Winter Festival, Marhc 16 Include Fishing Shack & Ice Auger. Food -18th. Mens Bonspeil, Chainsaw competi- & Drink Specials All Day! Call 929-2211 tion, volleyball competition & lots of kids to register. activities! Nipawin Moms & Tots, every Tuesday, 9:30-11:30am @ the Nipawin Alliance Church701 Shultz Rd. Kids enjoy activates while moms connect & get a much deserved break! $2/child per week. For more info call Amanda @862-9689 or nipawin.momsandtots@gmail.com MARCH Schedule March 6 Speaker: Tara Rudy, NP March 13 Craft: Chalkboards & Parenting Book Swap March 20 Bible Study: Lorna Powell March 27 Coffeehouse & Ask-A-Mom w/ Tisdale Ramble Rodeo & Trade Fair, March 30-31st, Tisdale Recplex

Nipawin is one of Saskatchewans larger towns and is famous for sport fishing, hunting, and world-class golf. The region is where Saskatchewan was introduced to the world.

Lions Ladies Night out in Tisdale present Brad Johner & the Boys followed by a casino! March 17th @ the Tisdale Recplex. Cocktails 6pm, Supper 7pm. Tickets at Lacroix Drugs & Scotiabank. The Fast & the Fur-iest Sled Dog Races, Rides & Family Fun, March 10- Proceeds go to the Sasko Park Lodge 11th @Tobin Lake. No adm. Charge.Race Building Fund. Route on Tobin Lake. Free Sled rides by Carrot River Skating Carnival Around the Munro family. Watch racers from all the World & Caspers Daycare Silent over Saskatchewan. Call Lyle 862-7890 Auction, March 18 @2pm. Tickets $4 Melfort Music Festival. Piano & vocal NECMA Country Music Show in NiMarch 11-16th. Violin & Band March pawin, March 23 @7pm at the Seniors 19th-21st. Venues include the CJVR Per- Hall. Adm. at the Door $10. forming Arts Theatre, Melfort Apostolic

industries. The advantages to locating business in Nipawin are manyexcellent recreational, medical and educational facilities, excellent roads and municipal infrastructure, business start-up incentives, a stable work force, good water sources, lower labour costs In 1691, the first European explorer, Henry Kelsey, and a 600 million dollar hydroelectric project. Nipaddled in with First Nations guides and, discovering pawins sheltered location on the majestic Saskatchethe abounding lushness, paved the way for the fur wan River, where boreal forest meets the prairie, has trade of the 1700s. Today, the economy centres much to offer visitors and residents alike. around the agriculture, agri-processing and supply services, fabrication, forestry, mining, and tourism

~ Trade Area Nipawins population is approximately 5,485

Nipawins population is approximately 5,485. It is important, however, to note that the villages of White Fox and Codette are less than 10 km away, and the unincorporated subdivision of Klemmer lies adjacent to Nipawin. The combined population, nearly 7,000, is in fact the largest urban concentration in the profiled north east market area (see map below). This explains the Saskatchewan Ministry of Highways and Infrastructure finding (2010 Traffic Volume Map) that the Highway 35 south commuting corridor handles by far the highest volume of traffic in the region, an average of some 3,550 vehicles per day. The total market population of the region is approximately 40,000. It is important to point out that there are roughly 7,000 people residing to the north and east of Nipawin, and most of them live well beyond the convenient access of either Prince Albert or Melfort. Nipawin is their major shopping centre. The most distant north eastern community, Cumberland House, is 163 km from Nipawin, as compared to 304 km from Prince Albert. The influence of the Nipawin and district tourism industry, which brings thousands of visitors annually, is a further indication of the strength, importance, and potential of trade in the Nipawin

~ A little History
Sunday School for ALL Ages

NIPOWEWIN" MEANS "WAITING PLACE"

Since only physically vigorous young Indians were capable of making the voyages by canoe over the hundreds of miles of terrifying waters, the women and children would watch their husbands and sons paddle away. The men would turn to their families and say Nipawi, which meant (you) stand and (wait). The location located four miles south and 1.5 miles west of Nipawin became known to them as Nipowewin which meant standing place or waiting place.

2012 Equity Cheques

Now Available at the Marketplace

Every Sunday 9:30 AM

(excluding long weekends)

Morning Service 10:30 AM Phone 862-4342 109 4th Avenue East

Food Store
Nipawin

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