THE FEEL TECHNIQUE I THE PSYCHE Information that makes a difference is knowledge.

Knowledge of self leads to empowerment and confidence. Confidence leads to new possibilities. Most thoughts and feelings originate within the subconscious. Thoughts and feelings come from your inner being. But what is your inner being? Whats it made of? Its made of soul and it contains identity, programming and the innate. The innate is the reflex within you that cannot be conditioned. Innate is the reflex inside that cannot be compromised. Innate is a significant part of your total core. Innate is hard to identify because it makes up so much of who you are. The Feel Technique brings conscious and unconscious processes closer together. Joining conscious and unconscious processes puts you more in touch with your core. The better the connected you are to your core, the more in control you feel. The more in control you feel, the more powerful you are. Feelings of power and control is the stuff self-confidence is made of. Self-confidence is a road that leads to all kinds of new possibilities. However, keep in mind that on the journey to a more integrated self, emotions may come up that are overwhelming. Since FEEL increases your capacity to feel, that can happen. So, as you start to use this technique, you want to feel like youre going into it feeling in control. If you feel in control, it will make it that much easier to let go of it when exploring the feelings that come up during FEEL. One hallmark of emotional strength is the ability to feel in control even when it might appear that youre not. Archimedes gave a great definition of control when he said With the right place to stand and a very long lever I could move the world. The Feel Technique produces benefits that allow you to discover places

inside where we can find new resources, new foundations, and new perspectives on how to accomplish long sought after goals. Circumstances can easily appear to look like the source of a problem. Yet, if you look inside, youll see that your feelings have more to do with the obstacles in your life than anything else. So whats the best place for you to make your stand to move your world? The best place, of course, is within you. But where? Its easy to say its all in the mind, as most of it is. However, when it comes to feelings, the heart is also involved. While the Feel Technique is initiated in the mind, it then stimulates the heart. This method utilizes your mind, your heart, as well as your nervous system. Since everyone has negative feelings and unwanted behaviors, that includes you. So how can you attain control over unwanted feelings? By developing inner strength! Thoughts and feelings originate in the inner self. So access to the inner self provides new points of control. New points of control help develop inner strength. Inner Inner Inner Inner Inner Inner strength strength strength strength strength strength makes it easier for you to stand your ground. supplies the power for a more controlled response. provides the unity of emotions for greater ease of self-expression. affords the emotional latitude to explore how you really feel. allows you to more easily recognize and stop manipulations. allows you to hold your feelings in, but in a healthy way.

How can holding feelings back be the healthy thing to do? Holding feelings in come from a decision that comes from one of two places: Inner strength or fear. When you walk away from a fight because youre afraid, it leaves a bitter taste. When you walk away because you choose to, youre ok with it.

Discretion is always the better part of valor. And youll never regret something you didnt say. However, if it is fear that keeps you from speaking up, youll feel angry and helpless. Without inner strength, choices are limited. Inner strength breeds confidence. That confidence opens the mind to new perspectives on achieving old goals. Inner strength and empowerment doesnt come from a seminar or a class. It comes from you. It comes from emotional strength youre in touch with. It also comes from powers and abilities youre not aware of. The subconscious demonstrates a wisdom that is many steps and perhaps even years ahead of the conscious mind. Nathaniel Branden Add up all the hours spent in classes and seminars. Of all the subjects covered and ideas explored: How much can you remember? How many of their actual words can you write down? An amazingly, fantastically, incredibly small fraction. Words are forgotten. But feelings arent. Very few answers of lasting value are obtained from lectures and speakers. Lasting inner strength and empowerment wont come from a lesson in class. You have power and abilities you dont realize you have. Tapping into them can only lead to a fuller life. When When When When you you you you feel feel feel feel more, more, more, more, inner wisdom surfaces with answers of value. you respond better and more positively. you have greater assurance in yourself. you trust your self-expressiveness more.

Decisions are based on feelings.

Getting in touch with feelings contributes to decisions of more substance. Getting in touch with feelings provides new perspectives and new options. Developing your ability to feel maximizes your chance of getting more out of life. Sounds nice, but youre going to have a problem with the Feel Technique for several reasons. First, the logical, linear cognitive mind does not understand nor recognize whats going on in the subconscious, so its more than likely your conscious mind will dismiss most of this technique as too simplistic to be effective. It is simple. It is also very deep. As deep as your inner core. So how do we reach the inner core? Repetition is the key to influencing the subconscious. The subconscious is the vehicle to unconscious processes. The inner core is reached through subconscious and unconscious operations. Brains arent designed to get results; they go in directions. If you know how the brain works you can set your own directions. If you dont, then someone else will. Richard Bandler You may have doubts how using one word can effectively make a change in your life. Daily use of FEEL will kick your subconscious into gear and it will respond. You may believe this wont work for you because youre different than everyone else. In some ways you are unique and different. However, the innate processes guiding your mind and body are the same in everyone. Using the Feel Technique daily will overcome skepticism and fear of change. No matter how much you want a change, making that change is scary on some level. Fear of change is almost always an obstacle for self-growth. Change is uncomfortable, even when the results are positive and desired. So as FEEL begins to work, you may experience some resistance to continuing. If you experience resistance to continuing to use FEEL, push through it.

If the ease of doing nothing or the discomfort of resistance makes you want to stop, push through it. Push through it by doing the process daily! Consider trying the process more than once a day. Using it everyday gives your innate intelligence a chance to get stronger within you. Wisdom available within the innate is not the kind of knowledge that can be taught. The innate is a reflex you were born with, but lost touch with along the way. The innate mind has information youre not conscious of yet. As with any muscle you develop, it takes time and repetition to make it strong. Some believe that innate intelligence guides the bodys natural capacity to heal. Innate intelligence is certainly the force behind the psyches ability to form reality. Innate intelligence is part of the package we come pre-wired with. And we all come pre-wired in some ways. Infants are born with an innate desire to suckle. When an infant is put on a treadmill, he can walk. That means were born with the ability to walk even before we do. Simple magic tricks hold the interest of babies longer than other presentations. This suggests we come with an innate set of expectations of how the world should work. You also come pre-wired emotionally. You came into this world pre-wired to want love and need love. When that need wasnt met, you detached your self from yourself. You unconsciously, automatically did this so as to reduce the emotional pain. Emotional pain physically hurts. Disconnection reduces that pain. The attempt to regulate affect, to minimize unpleasant feelings and to maximize pleasant ones, is the driving force in human motivation. Drew Westen There is a close connection between your built in, innate reflex and your ability to feel. The more disconnected the less youll feel.

The less you feel, the less your innate can work for you. For example, your conscience is part of your innate. When a person is detached from their emotions, their conscience wont be their strong point. When youre not in touch with you feelings, the subtleties of a gut reaction or a pang at the back of the heart wont be felt very much. The independent little voice inside becomes more distant the more its neglected. Your conscience cant be silenced, but it can be muffled by compromise and justification. When access to self is cut off, the intelligence of intuition is less available. The innate is part of the nervous system and contains intelligence and information the conscious mind does not have. The innate contains a depth that is hard to conceive of. The innate knows alternatives and options the conscious mind isnt aware of. The innate is a hidden resource, rich in qualities that can help you get more out of life. There is no logical way to the discovery of these elemental laws. There is only the way of intuition, which is helped by a feeling for the order lying behind the appearance. Albert Einstein Intuition is a product of the innate. When Einstein was asked where he got his ideas from, he attributed it to his intuition. He attributed his insights to intuition and ability to see the order lying behind things. Its no coincidence that Einstein was a man whose feelings ran deep. His depth and intensity of feeling made him a man very much in touch with his innate. It was his innate intelligence that led him to understand the order of the universe. As you get more in touch with your feelings, youll better understand the order of yours. Intuition reveals information you dont realize you have. Intuition contains insights you dont consciously possess. When a revelation comes out of the blue, what urges that information to the surface? The automatic processes of the psyche as guided by the innate! Initially, getting in more touch with your innate mind may be interesting and exciting.

However, it may also be uncomfortable and you might feel resistance to continuing. Pushing through this discomfort yields the potential of feeling more. Pushing through opens up the capacity of knowing more. Knowing more offers possibilities not available before. The heart always sees before the head can. Thomas Carlyle You have qualities and abilities you dont know you have. When strengths or skills are long forgotten about, it feels like those abilities are lost. Getting in touch with feelings means getting in touch with lost characteristics of self. Discovering qualities and characteristics thought to be lost is a wonderful experience. Yet, how can you ever discover that which youre not aware of to begin with? How can you know what you dont know? How can you know that youre not fully awake if youre not fully awake? This is not a play on words, but a call to consciousness because youve fallen asleep! Fallen asleep in that you live more in an automatic, automated mode than not. Going through the motions needed to take care of life, but not the needs of life. Asleep is a state of unconsciousness, missing the aliveness of the here and now. Routines are necessary, but they deaden spontaneity. Also, as independent and unique as you are, you cant help but reflect your surroundings to some extent. If you live on a farm, squash will enter your dreams or your conversation. When you live in society as most of us do, consciousness is unconsciously shaped by its influence. Living in an automated world, you live within an automated milieu. Living in automated world automates your thinking and your behavior, just to live in it. The Feel Technique promotes feeling and reverses the effects of unconsciousness. The technique helps you to feel feelings you havent been in touch with. It expands your capacity to feel emotions with greater intensity. Feeling more feelings and feeling them more deeply strengthens the connection to self. As well as the connection to life! Connecting with your self promotes an emotional atmosphere of safety within. Feeling safe inside increases the comfort level of living within your own skin.

Feeling comfortable inside your own skin cannot be overrated. Conscious effort cant reach innate and unconscious processes. The core of self is unreachable by the conscious mind. Yet, the action of repeating a sound carries the vibration to the deepest parts of self. The vibration reaches the core, resonates with the innate, and links you to that core. Connecting with your core brings hidden attributes of self to the surface. These unseen parts of self contain strengths that are useful in meeting sought after goals. Archimedes once said that a long lever and the right spot could move the world. A powerful word or a new idea could move yours. There are many words that can be considered more powerful than others. Why would the sound of the word feel have any special capacity or property to it? Wouldnt any word be just as effective if its used with repetition? No; and heres the reason why. Lets say youre going to visit the White House tomorrow. If your name is in the Presidents appointment book, youll get in to see him. If your name isnt in his book, the best you can hope for is a tour. There would be only one reason you wouldnt get in to see the President: Your name is not in his calendar. If you arrive and your name is in his appointment book, however, you would be welcome to a place of power and influence few gain access to. Its the same thing with your nervous system. Calm down, relax, sleep are all good suggestions, but they dont get in to the central executive command of your mind and the nervous system. Suggestions and affirmations can be positive and consistent with your needs, yet their effect within the psyche is limited and usually temporary. However, the word feel does get in. And it goes to the core of you because feeling is what your nervous system is all about. Positive affirmations dont last because they dont get in to the unconscious processes of your minds core, control center.

Instructions to the nervous system dont get in.

The nervous system doesnt take orders. Sometimes, however, it does take requests. Especially when theyre repeated. An internal energy transmission system within the human body operates at all times. The energy transmission system within the body is also called your life-force. Energy is distributed and redistributed as needed within the body as an energy flow. FEEL promotes an alignment of this energy flow within the body. The Feel Technique is powerful for three reasons. First, we are using vibration as an agent of change. Second, we are employing a vibration that contains meaning. And third, were using repetition. Lets explore each of these reasons briefly: The first reason is that vibrations are effective agents of change. Vibrations have an effect on a physical level thats visible as well as not visible to the eye. Vibrations move through the air. You can feel the vibration in front of a speaker playing music. Vibrations can carry unheard sound waves in the air, which you can hear on the radio. All matter is made up of energy and all energy is vibrating. There are some forms of energy that you can see, hear or measure. And there are some forms of energy that arent readily apparent. Vibrations can have physiological effects, as well. Music creates moods with definite physiological effects. Music produces an increased in physical energy, stimulating the flow of endorphins. An increased flow of endorphins enhances well-being and positive mental thoughts. An increase in endorphins also helps the body to block the perception of physical pain. As a meditation, FEEL improves memory, clarity of thought, and creativity. As an inner command, FEEL stimulates the nervous system to work more to capacity. As a vibration, it connects you to the rumblings of self and the hum of the universe.

Sound has vibration and vibration has power. The extent of that power was discovered recently by scientists who found a direct link between men exposed to high noise levels for a long time and an increased risk of heart attacks. (Willich) Annoyance wasnt a factor, but volume was. Vibrations are powerful. As a vibration, music has the power to lift your spirits. As a vibration, sound can shatter glass. As a vibration, all existence sings. I am convinced that there are universal currents of Divine Thought vibrating the ether everywhere, and that anyone who can feel these vibrations is inspired. Richard Wagner The second reason the Feel Technique is effective is the vibration used carries meaning. The meaning of the word is lost in the redundancy of repetition. Yet the meaning is still delivered to unconscious processes on a vibrational level. The third important explanation for its effectiveness is the use of repetition. Its well known that repetition has a strong influence on the subconscious mind. The repetition of feel uses the subconscious to carry the vibration of feel to your core. The psyche can change when given the opportunity, through repetition and concentration. The Feel Technique has power, impact and influence within the psyche and the body. It uses the right word, delivered in the right way, to the right place. The goal of using FEEL is unity of self. However, harmony is reached by first feeling disharmony. There is an emotional disharmony in each of us, to one extent or another. We live with this internal tension all the time, so were mostly not aware of it. These disconnections within the psyche keep you from feeling whole. So any attempt to experience wholeness will likely bring up these divisions within you.

You can expect to feel blocked along the way. FEEL puts you in touch with blocked feelings. Blockages are experienced as inner tension or vague feelings of negativity. You can expect some resistance towards feeling unwanted feelings and negative blocks. Your initial experience of any disconnected-ness will not be a comfortable one. By nature, we dont like to feel uncomfortable and will go out of our way to avoid it. FEEL can help you through the blocks as well as resistance, if youre willing and able. Without your full consent, youve been trained and programmed to resist feeling more. Your mind has been the target of teachers and society with the shoulds of socialization. All the minutes and hours and days of all the years spent in school were spent in the effort to train your mind and civilize you. Little to none of it was spent exploring or checking the emotional condition of your heart. Not to mention the needs neglected by your family. In sum, you learned that growing up meant putting your feelings aside. What usually happens in the educational process is that the faculties are dulled, overloaded, stuffed and paralyzed so that by the time most people mature, they have lost their innate capabilities. R. Buckminster Fuller In the process of socialization, some innate capabilities have been sacrificed. Your head has been given dominion over the realm. One thing we know about power is that its never willingly abdicated. Using FEEL can produce resistance from your head about whos in charge: The head or the heart. If asked to point to yourself, youll point to the middle of your chest. If asked to point to your control center, you will likely point to your head. This is the normal, if not unnatural balance between the mind and the heart. Normal, because we are all like that. Unnatural, because thats not a good thing. I once read that there is no such thing as an emotional mistake.

Even though my head knew that it wasnt true, my heart knew that it was. Early in life, the heart learns to hand over the reigns of control to the mind. Parents encourage it, school teaches it. But one thing empowers the mind to take over more than anything else. When the heart shuts down. When something awful happens or is about to happen, within the blink of an eye, the heart can negotiate with the mind to immediately stop feeling. Its not something youre aware within the moment it happens, but that process happens to all of us at some time. Ive heard We only use 10% of our brains, but we also only use 10% of our hearts. When I heard this, I immediately knew it was true. How could I tell? I could feel it!

DEFENSE MECHANISMS You want to feel good. In fact, feeling good is at the top of your list. Whether its a pastime, hobby, a movie, coffee break, meeting a friend, or having dinner out, there are any number of things youll do during the day to feel better. To feel better than what? Than the moment before. We do things to feel better because, to varying degrees, we are driven by the pleasure principle. Sometimes feeling better is a part of our natural cycle, such as when we withdraw from the world to refresh, recover or just have fun. However, there is one thing you do to feel better that youre not aware of. Its unconscious because you do it often and you do it automatically. That is, you stop feeling. One way to make sure you feel good is to make sure you dont feel bad.

When feelings are hurt or threatened, the heart shuts itself off, which shuts you down. To protect itself, the psyche forms a defense mechanism to help the heart stop feeling. Most defense mechanisms are a reaction to emotional pain the heart cannot bear to feel. Neurosis is always a substitute for legitimate suffering. Carl Jung The effort to stop feeling condemns the heart to a perpetual struggle with the pain. In the effort to stop feeling, you lose the direct connection to the core of self and being. In an effort to stop feeling, the loss of connection becomes a loss of control. Ironically, that loss of control then appears to come from external sources. The worlds a tough place and parts of it are out of control. For those who lack inner control, the obligations of the world can be too demanding. It easily appears that unmet goals are due to circumstances or external restraint. Its really often from a lack of control from within. A lack of control comes from the inability to get past unseen emotional pain. Many of us spend our whole lives running from feeling with the mistaken belief that you cannot bear the pain. But you have already borne the pain. What you have not done is feel all you are beyond the pain. Kahlil Gibran In the effort to avoid emotional pain, we stop feeling. Defense mechanisms are defined as psychological forces that prevent undesirable impulses from entering consciousness. Defense mechanisms are ways the heart can pretend to not feel. For example, when youre rejected, neglected, betrayed, or abused, rationalization and denial soften the blow so it doesnt hurt as much. To lesson or tone down the pain, the psyche helps the heart convince itself that it doesnt matter.

Heres a good example: Years ago in high school I had a study partner I would visit every so often at his home. Steve had an aquarium with a large collection of exotic fish and tropical marine life. It took a while for me to realize it, but one day something caught my attention that I had seen every time Id been there, but never really noticed. There was a large turtle sitting on a six-foot plastic oval platform. The platform was also large and looked like a miniature racetrack. What struck me at that moment was the realization that whenever I had visited, that turtle never, ever moved. Never! From the time I arrived there to the time I left, the turtle just sat there, motionless. When I realized this turtle never moved, I asked him why and he said, You want to see it move? Watch this! Within a moment he grabbed one of the fish from one of the tanks and threw it onto the oval plastic racetrack. As quickly and as fast as the fish hit the deck, so did that turtle! In a flash, it raced over and scooped up and swallowed the fish, moving at a speed I would have bet money on that reptile never reaching. And if that wasnt amazing enough, what happened next was even more interesting. The turtle, which I had never even seen move, was now moving at mach turtle speed. It was in search of more fish and it wasnt stopping! For the rest of my time there that day, I watched that turtle race around that deck, looking for another meal. I didnt get the whole picture until I left, when Steve walked me to the door. As I walked out the door, he called out to me saying, I never feed the turtle. Theres a reason for bringing up the story about this poor creature. In some ways you are like that turtle. When your needs arent met, you shut down and become unresponsive. Wanting a fish thats not available hurts. So you stop feeling your needs by feeling less. Allowing the want is uncomfortable, yet it germinates the seed of motivation. Motivation moves us from dependency to self-reliance. And thats where the fish are. When feelings are disowned, they manifest in other ways, such as projection. Projection is the defense where disallowed feelings seem to come from someone else. Others may appear sneaky, even as youre not in touch with your own dishonesty.

People can appear seductive, though youre not aware of your own hungry looks. Others seem angry, even as you reject that quality in yourself. When feelings are easily disowned, its an indication of disconnection and hiding from yourself. One favorite place to hide from feelings and the real you is in the head. Hiding inside your intellect with defense mechanisms such as denial, suppression, or projection, you get to ignore how you really feel. As defense mechanisms shield the psyche from emotional scarring, they help you to hide from yourself. Hiding in your head can include obsessing about answers and explanations that seem important but mostly serve to distract you from how you really feel. Defense mechanisms defend the psyche from emotional pain. Part of that defense is the forming of emotional armor to ease or quiet the pain. Emotional armor is a tightness in the muscles that is so constant, youre not aware of it. The emotional nature and real physicality of this armor limits input from the heart. Since most quality solutions include input from the heart, this becomes a problem. Good decisions require quality answers and feedback from your inner guidance system. Information needed for a good decision wont surface easily when the heart is shut off. Defense mechanisms protect us from the conscious awareness of thoughts and feelings that are too uncomfortable to feel. For the heart, defense mechanisms aid the heart in the denial of its own feelings. For the mind, its a way of not knowing what you know. Defense mechanisms help protect us. Sometimes, it is best to put off letting yourself know how you really feel until a later date. Defenses can also protect the psyche from being overloaded and blowing a fuse. An unfortunate byproduct though, is that these mechanisms shut your heart down, thus limiting your capacity to feel. In the course of growing up we all lose parts of self. The trade-offs and compromises we make are part of the socialization that comes with the territory of being part of a society. But some things take bigger chunks out of us than others. It can happen suddenly, as with trauma. Or it can take place over time, such as the continual shaming of feelings until they are safely tucked away.

To a large degree, these mechanisms of self-protection originate in the unconscious. Meaning you dont realize youre losing a part of yourself at the moment its happening. Youre not aware of the machinery inside of you conspiring to shut you down. Defense mechanisms operate outside of conscious awareness. Conscious attempts to control the denials of the heart are difficult if not impossible. Conscious efforts to control the opening or closing of a heart hardly ever work. The heart cannot be controlled, much as we try. It cant be controlled, but it can be shut down. Trauma and shame can cause the self to fragment and hide very deep within. The body helps you hide your real feelings with constant inner tension. Ever notice how easily feelings can be swallowed without much effort? Your physiology developed a way to automatically hold your words and feelings in. Muscular tension within your physiology helps to hold feelings down. Words are held in to keep you from getting into trouble. When feelings are held back, they have no place to go but down. Feelings that are held in or repressed end up in the stomach. The body unconsciously tightens up to keep the words there. Tightness in the muscles of your gut makes it harder to feel your gut sense. If swallowing your feelings becomes a habit, there may be health issues to consider. One clinical study confirmed that those who repressed their emotions had higher mortality rates among those with stomach cancer. (Spiegel) Defense mechanisms help the heart protect itself from pain. The heart conspires with the mind to pretend you dont want or feel something that you really do. When a need is often denied or deferred, it becomes repressed. Once needs are repressed, youll fool yourself about what you really want. Once youre repressed, you wont speak up or reach out the way you might like. Everyone has regrets about times we should have reacted differently or reached out to someone and didnt. There will always be times you wished you had said how you really felt. If your feelings had been stronger, maybe you would have said or done something differently. Stronger feelings do increase the likelihood of speaking out.

But speaking out doesnt necessarily guarantee satisfaction. Any decision from the heart can be just as regrettable as one from the head, maybe even more. Its just that when you add it all up, the most regrettable decisions seem to be those that were made without the hearts consent. The past cant change, but the future does.

DISSOCIATION This next section is hard to understand. Fortunately, you dont have to understand this information in this section for the Feel Technique to work. The most common and yet least known of the defense mechanisms is dissociation. When something terrible happens, dissociation can cause you to separate from yourself. In the moment before, or during an awful event, part of the psyche detaches from itself. In that moment of detachment, a part of self unconsciously goes somewhere else. Its not astral projection, but a way of avoiding the next awful moment. For example, a woman who was molested said: He ran after me, and then he caught me, and then he threw me to the ground. But I cant remember what happened next because I just went up to the ceiling during the whole mess. Another example is a man who thought he was going to die in a plane crash. Though the plane didnt crash, it looked like it was going to in those moments the plane took a nosedive. In those few minutes, he thought he was going to die very shortly. When asked if he had lived through that plane ride, he thought carefully for a moment and then softly said No. He felt like he hadnt lived through it because his psyche froze in the moment before (the expected) death, in order to avoid it. Rather than face certain death, part of self freezes in that moment. Then it splits and goes somewhere else to avoid whats about to happen. Dissociation allows the mind to go somewhere else during the expected, awful event. During a traumatic event, your body is stuck where it is at that moment. Though youre stuck in that situation, it doesnt stop the psyche from going elsewhere.

Once a part of self splits, it doesnt usually return on its own. When the self disconnects from self, the fragment goes somewhere else. The psyche can go up to the ceiling, out the window, or deep within. When a child dissociates, he or she can also go behind or under the furniture. When a child dissociates, they can go into the crack of a wall or the wallpaper. In time, the awful event fades from memory. Time heals all wounds, even if superficially. You pick yourself up by your bootstraps and move on with your life. You try to put the memory of the event behind because thats all you can do. A piece of self is left behind either before or during the trauma (or abuse or neglect). But theres nothing you can do to get it back, so you try to be the best adult you can. It is the nature of reality that time keeps moving forward, even when we dont. So, even as you are in the here and now, parts of self are stuck in the past. Some memories are particularly strong because thats where were the most stuck. The memory still has a charge to it because you are frozen somewhere in that memory. Or frozen just before the event in order to avoid the whole thing from ever happening.

The Chronology of Dissociation: An awful event. Intolerably bad feelings. Heart stops feeling. The self fragments. A hole appears.

The process of losing a part of self leaves an emotional hole in the psyche. Deep in the mind, the hole is real and produces persistent uncomfortable feelings. Negative feelings are felt emotionally or physically and can be vague or specific. Vague, in that you cant put your finger on exactly whats wrong. Or specific in that you know what the negative feeling is. Negative Negative Negative Negative feelings feelings feelings feelings can come from emotional holes or from circumstances. that come from circumstances pass in time. that come from emotional holes dont. that come from emotional holes never really go away.

They are just masked, repressed, medicated or tolerated. You cant see beyond yourself any more than anyone can. You have to accept your version of reality because there is no sane alternative. If negative feelings become pervasive in your experience, then that is your reality. Reality is often just a reflection of your emotional state. Mans mind is a mirror of the universe that mirrors mans mind. Joseph Chilton Pearce Your nervous system houses your capacity to feel. Your body and nervous system is the home YOU live in. The condition of your nervous system paints your view of the world. No one can see beyond their own understanding and reality of the world. What you can develop beyond your current capacity, though, is your ability to feel. You can feel more than youre feeling now You can feel more alive than you generally feel. Why feel more? An increased capacity to feel more of self leads to unity and wholeness. Wholeness of self produces quietness of mind and spirit. Quietness of mind and spirit allows you to use your own eyes. A quiet mind allows you to see a bit more than your self. The quiet mind allows you to see a bit more outside of you. Whats in the way of that quietness and unity of self is dissociation. Dissociation freezes chunks of self in the past, even as time moves on. This is an unconscious process, so you never fully realize this is all going on, whether it happens suddenly or even gradually, over time. What you are aware of, though, is an unquiet, restless mind and persistent uncomfortable feelings. While youre unaware of any loss of self, the inner mind knows of the loss. The inner, unconscious mind works overtime to cover the deficit. This constant compensation keeps the mind busy trying to stay one step ahead.

If you had the wholeness you were born with, it wouldnt be so hard to figure things out. If you had the wholeness you were born with, it would be easier to get things done. If you had the wholeness you were born with, you would have confidence few possess. Dissociation is the unconscious act of the self disconnecting from the self. Dissociation leaves holes in the soul that cause feelings of emptiness and pain. You can fill these holes with stimulation from sex, food, alcohol or gambling. This kind of stimulation bypasses the heart as its source. Stimulation that bypasses the heart as its source leaves a bigger hole. Addiction to sensation and stimulation helps to avoid pain and emptiness. It also keeps you from knowing yourself, your soul, and your higher power. Dissociation is a natural operation of the psyche to protect itself. As an unconscious function, you dont realize it when its happening. We all have dissociated to one degree or another. Every one of us! We all have a well-developed shell we can hide behind without anyone noticing. Youre not aware that youve shut down and a piece of you is now snagged in time. You can feel, though, the uncomfortable feelings this loss has left. Persistent uncomfortable feelings are often born in the moments of dissociation. They are at the base of most depression, anxiety, phobias, compulsions, and obsessions. If feelings come up during the use of FEEL that are depressing, feel them. If you feel depressed, seek a professional first before using the technique. The state of depression is best explored with therapy, not FEEL. However, if depressed feelings emerge during FEEL, they should be felt. Its easy to lose parts of self while growing up. Parts of self get lost through socialization, dissociation and compromise. In the process of growing up, your sense of identity gets firmer and firmer. Once its fully developed, other peoples ideas dont get in as easily as they did before. Until your sense of self develops, its easy for external ideas to get inside. Once an idea takes root, you could live your life based on the assumptions of that idea. The more of self thats left behind, the more easily others can have influence over you. When you dont trust your own sense of direction, youll accept others points of view.

When you depend on others, its harder to make important decisions on your own. The reality is: Any action you take can have unexpected negative consequence. That means that any decision can turn out to be a mistake. Relying on others has a downside that cant be avoided. If a mistake is made based on your decision, youll feel bad about it. If you make a mistake and it wasnt your idea, youll feel much worse. Dissociation keeps you from trusting your feelings and knowing your innate. The innate has the knowledge you want and need. Did you know that you have a second brain? Its not a brain you might recognize because its in your stomach.

THE ENTERIC SYSTEM The enteric system sounds like a sector of space out of a Star Trek episode, but its actually a place inside of you. The enteric system is a separate nervous system in your body that begins where the food goes in and ends where it all comes out. In other words, your whole digestive system is endowed with its own, local nervous system. Scientists consider the enteric nervous system a complex integrated brain in its own right and call it a second brain. It has as many nerves as the spinal cord, and is just as complex. Most of the enteric system is in the lining of your stomach. It is made of millions of neurons that, in essence, are a second brain. The effects of this system on you is commonly referred to as your gut sense. Now thats a lot to think about and maybe hard to understand. What that means is that your gut sense is an expression of innate intelligence. Messages from the gut are usually practical, sensible, and sometimes valuable. Feelings from your gut could contain wisdom thats good for you to know about. There is value in being in touch with your gut. Can you see that? Do you know that? Can you feel that? An interesting side note about the enteric system is that the actual shape of the neurons in that system resemble that of simple invertebrates. An invertebrate is an

animal with a backbone. So, its almost like having a backbone in your gut, if you could only trust it. When you ignore gut feelings, you lose a valuable piece of your own real estate. When someone lies to you, you might not notice the body language inconsistent with what theyre saying. You might not focus in on a facial expression that doesnt match their tone of voice in the moment it happens. While youre not aware of all the visual cues incongruous with their statements, a lot of it does register with the subconscious. Studies shows that whenever someone tells a lie, at some point, in some way, it registers in their face or body language or both. You might not consciously pick up on the features and details within the small, split second their real face comes out, but in that snapshot of a moment, it registers somewhere within you; as you feel it in your gut, your heart, or both. The heart sees better than the eye. Hebrew Proverb If you rely on others, you might miss the moment of their inconsistency. If you depend on logic, you might not read between the lines. If you dont trust yourself, you may not feel your stomach twinge when you hear a lie. The heart sometimes finds out things that reason cannot. Robert Benson Detachment from feelings leaves gaps in awareness. Down the avenue of life, gaps in awareness can cause you to be blindsided. Imagine using only part of your heart and brain. It would restrict your ability to function. However, in time, you would adjust to the limitations. Life would go on and you would accept your disabilities. The fact is that to some degree, this is just about what has happened to you. Socialization has decompartmentalized you. Awful events have dissociated you. Conditioning has repressed you.

And fragments of self have split. When using FEEL, you invite yourself to feel more. In time, as you feel more, you begin to trust yourself more, as well. In time, that trust of self expands to thoughts and decisions. In time, that trust of self expands, becoming a safe space around you. Like a comfort zone. A comfort zone is not only comfortable. It is a space to more comfortably make a stand.

EMOTIONS What are emotions? Emotions are the central nervous systems reaction to events based on beliefs formed within the conscious mind. In other words, if you tell me that you hate me, my immediate, automatic reaction will come from my belief about what that means to me. If Im glad youre out of my life or will miss you terribly will directly influence how I feel about what youve said. Feelings can best be understood in the context of meaning. What does the event or circumstance mean to you? Children are at the affect of their emotions and are greatly influenced by them. Their bodies are small and so feelings dont have very far to travel. Poke an infant in the stomach and their whole body reacts. In a childs small frame, feelings dont have far too go, and there is little to no disconnection yet. While beliefs are formed through experience, the mind can be programmed with ideas that are foreign to its nature. Children dont have the emotional boundaries that adults have in order to fend off external ideas and beliefs. A parents mind-set or set of feelings can integrate into a childs psyche, becoming accepted realities or personality traits. Like osmosis, a mothers anger can find its way into a childs emotional makeup and stay there, forever. If youve been angry as long as you can remember, youll accept this trait as part of your personality, never questioning that these feelings might not have been yours to begin with.

Formed in childhood, our emotional mindset often lasts a lifetime. However, your mindset is also formed by experience and programming. Experience is the natural process of learning. Programming occurs when the mind swallows an idea whole. Few are those who see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts. Albert Einstein When something very good or very bad happens to you, it causes a strong emotional response. To better insure that it never happens again or that it happens more often, you form fixed or idiosyncratic responses. As certain thoughts, feelings and reactions become characteristic of how you respond and react, in time you accept these reactive responses as part of your personality; as just part of who you are. If you were slapped down when you tried to assert yourself as a child, the inner restraints developed in those moments can last forever. If you were shamed when you expressed vulnerability, your sensitive side may not come out very often any more. When you develop a fixed response, over time it feels like its a natural response. But its not so much from you, as it is your conditioning. When you were born, you didnt arrive with the ability to hold back your emotions. You learned to hold them in with the help from unconscious, automatic mechanisms. The body unconsciously tightens to help you hold back your feelings. Over time, this self-control integrates into the psyche, manifesting as rigid responses. Sometimes the best thing to do is hold back, especially when the situation is volatile. However, when you hold your self and your feelings back so often you hardly notice it, its not healthy and its not satisfying. It takes tension to hold feelings in. Tension that holds in feelings becomes fixed and chronic. You dont feel the tightness because it is always there. The tension of a watch mostly goes unnoticed for a lifetime. So too, can the inner tensions that hold back your emotions. Inner emotional restraints over time give birth to chronic responses. These habitual responses then become accepted as personality traits.

Chronic emotional restrains turn honest feelings into safe half-truths. Self-expression becomes muted and censored and subdued. When self-expression is lost, feelings arent expressed well or fully. Aspects of love, anger and vulnerability get lost in the translation of feelings into words. Getting in touch with the inner you automatically aids and encourages self-expression. Emotions are from the innate, from your inner being. You dont have to think about what you feel. You just feel it! Why, because the nervous system is designed to feel. You may see yourself one way while others see you another. Inner being bypasses these relative points of view and attitudes. Inner being comes from your center and your innate. Using FEEL creates a naturalistic trance that brings you closer to the inner you. When youre in touch with the inner self, feelings are more comfortable to feel. FEEL FEEL FEEL FEEL FEEL FEEL isnt programming. is an experiential process of learning. resonates to your inner being. reverberates to your core. vibrates within your center. enlivens your emotions and makes you feel more and feel more alive.

Emotions come from one of three places: 1] Internal tension 2] External programming 3] A natural response from self, and the innate. Feelings originating from internal tension vibrate on one level. Feelings programmed externally by others resonate on another. Feelings that come from the heart have a very special resonance. Tension, programming and the innate each have their own frequency or vibration. Its hard to tell if feelings are coming from tension, programming or from your self.

Its hard to contrast the subtle differences in these kinds of feelings or vibrations. The innate, however, can tell the difference. The vibration of feel enables the innate to help you sort your feelings out. Feel has a vibration that encourages and stimulates the nervous system to feel more. Feel is a vibration that empowers the innate as it resonates within the core of self. The innate knows what belongs in the psyche and whats foreign to it. The innate knows the difference between real emotions and reactive ones. The innate can tell if a feeling comes from tension or from the heart. When feelings surface, you dont stop to think what kinds of feelings they are. You just know that the feeling came up without any effort on your part. A thought could come from the heart or from an idea planted years ago. While you might not know the difference, the innate does. Using FEEL daily produces benefits because feel vibrates and the innate responds. Innate can help sort what belongs and what doesnt, whats you and whats not. Innate heightens conscious awareness and helps determine whats not a part of it. When feelings are sorted out, whats left is you. Heightened awareness encourages more of that which is really you to the forefront. Clearer and more definite feelings make it easier to find the right direction. Your body may be what you eat, but you are what you feel. FEEL helps the innate help you. The innate is a natural force. The dynamism behind anti-bodies attacking germs is from the innate. The innate also has the potential to help the heart fill in some missing pieces. The more a heart is restored and can feel, the more it can feel satisfied. When a heart is satisfied, the body can hold a positive charge for a longer period of time. FEEL increases your ability to feel and hold a positive charge, longer. The more positive you feel, the clearer perceptions, judgments and insights become. Perception, judgment and insight are all qualities of discernment. A heightened ability to feel your feelings promotes better discernment.

Distinguishing whether feelings come from you or your history is not easy. We all carry the legacy of our parents emotional mind-set. We also contain some of the generational history that preceded them. FEEL helps sort out what belongs and what doesnt, whats you and whats added. Again, when you sort out feelings, whats left is you. Using FEEL is a journey of self-discovery about who you are. In time, negative, unwanted feelings transform into positive emotions. Using the Feel Technique on positive emotions is then a journey of who you can be. The thing you set your mind on is the thing you ultimately become. Nathaniel Hawthorne The Feel Technique makes you feel more. Feel is a vibration that brings blocks and disconnections to the surface. Feel can dissolve some disconnections. The ones it cant dissolve or reduce need therapy. When disconnections surface they can release their energy. When a block releases its energy, without its charge, it can then transform. Disconnections that surface can then dissolve, forging more unity within. The Feel Technique makes you feel more. The purpose of FEEL is to create unity of self. Unity of self makes you more comfortable being in your own skin. Unity of self makes setting boundaries easier. Unity of self produces greater inner strength. Unity of self makes for a sweeter essence within you and without. The goal of FEEL is unity of self, but what is the purpose of unity? To be comfortable with yourself. To be comfortable within your own skin. A unified mind dissolves or lessons anxiety and negative feelings. Decisions that come from the heart, not tension or programming, produce more solid and satisfactory results. However, decisions that come from the heart can also be wrong or even evil. And, for all its wisdom, the heart is capable of greatly deceiving

itself for a time. So wisdom, reason and logic are essential ingredients in any decision. And, while even a wise decision is no guarantee of success, any decision that considers the needs of the heart is still more likely to be fruitful and nurturing. Feelings have a profound influence on how your life turns out. Feelings of achievement or purpose help to determine your goals. Feelings of confidence then help you to achieve them. Feelings of uncertainty can get in the way. Feelings can make us feel right when were wrong and wrong when were right. For better or worse, feelings are our emotional compass in the sea of life. Feelings lead to decisions and decisions lead to action. Your place in the journey of life is a direct result of those actions. Increasing your capacity to feel will lead you further down the road in that journey.

FEELINGS AND RELATIONSHIPS Feelings are the foundation of our decisions and actions. For instance, when buying a product or a service, you have practical and logical reasons why you did so. Yet, if you take a step back and examine your reasons for buying, youll find the reasons are really based on your emotions. Usually, we make up our minds based on how we feel, and then add on the reasons why. Most decisions are based on three things: Feelings of comfort, confidence and trust. Decisions entail how comfortable you feel getting involved. Theyre about how confident you feel about the outcome. And about how much you feel you can trust the people involved. You can have any number of good reasons for making a decision. But theyre really based on feelings of comfort, confidence and trust. Any venture, emotional or financial, can involve significant risk. The greater the importance of the venture, usually the more risk. The ability to feel more is the result of a heart thats more open. An open heart in a sea of closed hearts is a risky venture.

People will take advantage, if you let them. Thats why being taken advantage of is most everyones number one fear. Yet, with an open heart comes aliveness and a renewed interest in life. Aliveness and interest have unique rewards. Aliveness and interest are their own rewards. Aliveness makes you feel closer to people. Relationships are like investments. They can pay off in emotionally satisfying ways. And they can make you vulnerable to the risk of loss. Yet theres little to no reward without risk. Do you feel emotionally strong enough to take the chance to feel more? When you feel more, theres greater involvement with others. What can happen then? You can be betrayed. You can be hurt to the core. You can make a new friend that enhances the quality of your time here. When deciding who to get close to and who to keep at a distance, you can factor in any number of things. Determining whos safe to confide in and who isnt requires some judgment. As you weigh the pros and cons of friendship with someone, as you rummage through all the ideas you have about them, it really all comes down to this: How comfortable do you feel with them? How much confidence do you have in them? How much can you trust them with personal information? Your decisions are based on feelings. Feelings of comfort, confidence and, most of all, trust. Next time you have an important decision, ask yourself: How comfortable will I be if I do this? How confident am I about how well this will turn out? Do I feel I can trust them to do what they say they will? If any reservation comes to mind, or your gut flinches: Trust your feelings!

The paradigm of comfort, confidence and trust is not a new one. The cornerstone of any good relationship is trust and respect. But reaching your goals requires that you know when its safe to disclose information. It means knowing who to trust and what they can be trusted with. Some will earn your trust while others betray it. Life is a series of losing things, and sometimes that includes friends. But since so much of life and the decisions you make come from your feelings, its in your best interest to get to know your emotions and how they influence you. You want to meditate with feel until you get past the influence of those feelings on your actions. You want to come from a place of action, not reaction. And yet, regardless of how you feel or what you feel, theres no guarantee of success. Those who are in touch with their feelings make mistakes, too. Very smart and fairly wise people screw up and have regrets all the time. But heres what feeling more does for you. It creates a space inside that feels safe to be in. When you feel safe inside, its easier to stand your ground. When you feel more, actions that come from the heart may make waves. Unity of self and harmony of feelings limit the influences of those external forces. Inside that safe space within your center, other peoples actions have less effect on you.

HOLES Dissociation leaves holes within the psyche that create uncomfortable feelings. Persistent uncomfortable feelings are the foundation of depression and anxiety. Phobias, compulsions and obsessions are attempts to manage or control them. Persistent uncomfortable feelings are born in the moments of dissociation. Self disconnects from self and leaves holes that cant be seen, only felt. They generate vague feelings of discomfort that are hard to describe. They can also manifest as somatic symptoms in specific areas of the body. Holes reside in the unconscious, so we have no conscious control over them.

Holes in the soul make you feel like enough is not enough no matter what you do. When you cant hold a positive charge for very long, something is missing inside. Its uncomfortable going through life feeling the emptiness that comes from a hole. Experimentation and lifestyles can fill holes for a while, but they both have their costs. People, things and elements can fill them, but only for so long. When you try to control others, it is usually an attempt to fill a hole. Controlling others is an attempt to quell persistent uncomfortable feelings. The center that I cannot find is known to my unconscious mind. W.H. Auden Most people never find out how to expand their senses, nor get to know their inner mind. The Feel Technique provides a way to best contact and activate that unconscious center. Holes in the soul are in, or near that center of self. So when you use FEEL, you can expect to encounter holes. After a time, some holes will dissolve. When that happens, new points of control are conceived. However, you dont have to push yourself to make this work. You dont have to push yourself to feel more than you want to or are ready to. As the old saying goes, dont push the river. Use FEEL to feel the holes coming from negative feelings when youre ready to. Parts of the journey of self-exploration are uncomfortable. Are you ok with that? Start the journey of self-discovery with FEEL when youre sure it is. Archimedes believed that a long enough lever and the right place to stand could empower him to move the world. The lever is your innate and the ground is your core. FEEL connects your conscious mind to its source, where thoughts and feelings come from, providing new points of control. Feel your way through the negativity instead of doing something to make your self feel better. When you have to do something to feel better, the hole controls you. Feeling your way through the negativity loosens its hold on you.

Controlling others is usually an attempt to make you feel better. When negative feelings lose their grip, so does the need to control other people. Allowing is liberating. Allowing stops the struggle. Allowing diminishes the charge within the negative emotion. A negative emotion with a diminished charge is easier to change. If the negative feelings dont subside, then therapy, medication or both could be warranted. If anxiety turns to panic, again its a call for treatment. There is one set of emotions that are tough to get through on your own. They are called enmeshed feelings, and are several feelings mixed into one. Enmeshed feelings are two are more feelings that overlap and occupy the same space. For example, ANger, GUIlt, and SHame can be enmeshed and experienced as ANGUISH. Enmeshed feelings wont dissipate until they are first separated. You cant consciously separate feelings that are unconsciously entangled. If you feel you are shame based, or that guilt controls your emotions or anger runs your life, sort out your feelings with a professional first. Then use the vibration of feel.