1

5-24-12

W.O.M.E.N.~SV
Directory
(3)

2

Domestic Viol ence Directory:
Part Three: Educational &
Reference Material s





Women-Of-Means Escape Network,
Silicon Valley
Directory

Ruth Patrick, M.A.
Program Director
W.O.M.E.N. ~ SV

A Los Altos Community Foundation
Non-Profit Program

Phone: 650-996-2200
Email: womensv@losaltoscf.org
Website: www.losaltoscf.org/womensv

DISCLAIMERS


W.O.M.E.N.~SVs Domestic Violence Directory contains samples of the many
resources available, obtained from three main sources:

1)direct contact with WOMEN~SV wherein the providers have demonstrated
integrity, competence, and commitment to advocacy on behalf of survivors of
domestic violence
2) referral by reputable agencies such as Next Door and YWCAs Domestic
Violence Support Network
3) clients who have had positive experiences in working with these providers.

W.O.M.E.N.~SV is not guaranteeing a provider will produce a desired result.
It is best to interview several, ask for references, etc. This list is for
convenience only. Many providers are willing to negotiate fees and offer a
sliding scale, flat fee, or reduced rate if you ask.

If you are a provider with expertise in domestic violence and a track record of
committed advocacy on behalf of domestic violence survivors, particularly
those with affluent abusive partners, you are invited to submit your contact
information and/or colleague(s) for consideration in this directory to:
womensv@losaltoscf.org; subject heading: Provider Referral.

If you have been in a relationship with an affluent abuser, and if you have
been helped by an experienced provider who consistently demonstrated
commitment, competence, and integrity in advocating on your behalf, you are
invited (with their permission) to submit their contact information for
consideration in this directory to: womensv@losaltoscf.org; subject heading:
Client Referral.

W.O.M.E.N.~SVs Domestic Violence Directory is designed to continually
evolve as a result of feedback from clients, providers, and agencies. However,
inclusion in the directory is in no way to be construed as an absolute
endorsement for any of the providers listed. Similarly, the absence of a
particular provider is in no way to be construed as censure. Caveat emptor.

As a client, you might consider asking attorneys, consultants, financial
planners, etc. if 2-3 of their former clients would be willing to speak with you
about their experiences. Try calling at least 3 references in a category, then
choose the one best suited to your needs. These references may lead you to
others. Please note: therapists may not be able to give references due to
confidentiality.


4

In summary, this directory serves as a guide and database only, NOT as a

directive. In the end, as a client or provider, you are the one most qualified to
make your own informed decisions regarding who can best serve your needs.
And as a client, you are the one best qualified to make your own decisions
about who to hire and when or whether to leave an unhealthy relationship.


























5

TABLE OF CONTENTS: PART THREE

This DV directory is divided into three parts:

Part One: Precautions and Suggestions
Part Two: Contact Names and Phone Numbers
Part Three: Educational and Reference Materials



PART THREE: EDUCATIONAL AND
REFERENCE MATERIALS

HOW TO FILE FOR A RESTRAINING ORDER........6

HOW TO FILE FOR A DIVORCE.......6

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE COUNCIL HOTLINE TIP SHEET.7, 8

RESOURCES ON THE INTERNET...........9, 10

BOOKS...11, 12

ARTICLES..13

PARENT HANDOUT: ABUSE OR VIOLENCE AT HOME AFFECTS YOUR
CHILDREN.14, 15

POWER AND CONTROL WHEELS16, 17

EQUALITY WHEELS.........18

FREE HELP......19

SELF-HELP/DO-IT-YOURSELF RESOURCES....20

HELPFUL INTERNET WEBSITES....21

LOCATIONS OF COURTHOUSES & CONTACT INFORMATION...22

MAPS (COURTHOUSES IN SUNNYVALE, SAN JOSE, AND MORGAN
HILL)....23



6

PART THREE

REFERENCE MATERIALS

HOW TO FILE FOR A RESTRAINING ORDER
SELF-HELP (Not recommended)
http://www.scscourt.org/self_help/restraining/elder_restraining.shtml

TO CHECK ON THE STATUS of your Temporary Restraining Order (ex
parte request):
http://www.sccsuperiorcourt.org/family/exparte/exparte.pdf


HOW TO FILE FOR A DIVORCE
http://www.scscourt.org/self_help/family/divorce.shtml
This page tells you about:
How to file for a divorce
Temporary Orders for child or spousal support, emergency child custody or
visitation, or restraining orders
Mediation and collaborative law

Children and divorce

How to finish your divorce

How to dismiss your case









7

0::64,65,/<9;05.@6<&
Its not your fault. Its against the law.
It affects your health and your children.
Local agencies can offer:
support to decide what to do
legal options
counseling for you and children
a safe place to go in an
emergency
Emergency 911
ask police to take pictures
get name and badge # of ofcer
get police case #
you have a right to be protected,
see below
:(5;(*3(9(*6<5;@
*644<50;@+64,:;0*=063,5*,(.,5*0,:/6;305,:
Community Solutions (Gilroy/MHill) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .1-877-363-7238
Next Door Solutions (San Jose) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 408-279-2962
YWCA Support Network (San Jose) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .1-800-572-2782
Asian/All. . . . . AACI (San Jose) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 408-975-2739
South Asian . . Maitri (San Jose) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .1-888-862-4874
GLBT . . . . . . . CUAV (San Francisco) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 415-333-4357
Men . . . . . . . . Next Door Solutions (San Jose) . . . . . . . . . 408-279-2962
Deaf . . . . . . . . Deaf Hope . . . hotline@deaf-hope.org TTY 510-267-8800
6;/,9*644<50;@:,9=0*,:/6;305,:
Childcare, Housing, Employment . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 211
Crisis/Stress Hotline . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .1-855-278-4204
Child Abuse/Neglect Hotline . . . . . . . . .408-299-2071 . . . 650-493-1186
Elder or Dependent Adult Abuse/Neglect Hotline . . . . . .1-800-414-2002
Victim Witness Assistance Program . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 408-295-2656
Can repay costs of medical/counseling for you/kids, moving, lost wages
3,.(3/,37
DV agencies above free general legal information and help with forms
Family Court Clinic free info and legal aid referral . . . 170 Park Ave. SJ
Santa Clara County Bar Assoc. Lawyer Referral Service . . 408-971-6822
Self Help - http://www.scscourt.org/self_help/restraining/ro_help.shtml
796;,*;065
Emergency Protective Restraining Order (EPRO)
You ask police for this at the scene - good for up to 7 days - it can
stop your partner from contacting you/your children, or living at home
Temporary (TRO) or Permanent (DVRO) Restraining Orders
You file papers for TRO at Family Court 170 Park Ave. SJ if TRO is
approved, a long term or permanent RO is possible after a court hearing
Victim Notification System (if the abuser is arrested)
Register to be notified of release on bail . . . . . . . . . . .1-800-464-3568
5(;065(39,:6<9*,:(5+/6;305,:
National Domestic Violence . 1-800-799-SAFE(7233) [TTY 1-800-787-3224]
National Teen Dating Abuse . . . . . . . 1-866-331-9474 [TTY 1-866-331-8453]
National Sexual Assault . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .1-800-656-4673
National Stalking Resource Center . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . www.ncvc.org/src
National Suicide Hotline . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .1-800-273-8255
Form 100-1216
0::64,65,/<9;05.@6<&
Its not your fault. Its against the law.
It affects your health and your children.
Local agencies can offer:
support to decide what to do
legal options
counseling for you and children
a safe place to go in an
emergency
Emergency 911
ask police to take pictures
get name and badge # of ofcer
get police case #
you have a right to be protected,
see below
:(5;(*3(9(*6<5;@
*644<50;@+64,:;0*=063,5*,(.,5*0,:/6;305,:
Community Solutions (Gilroy/MHill) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .1-877-363-7238
Next Door Solutions (San Jose) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 408-279-2962
YWCA Support Network (San Jose) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .1-800-572-2782
Asian/All. . . . . AACI (San Jose) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 408-975-2739
South Asian . . Maitri (San Jose) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .1-888-862-4874
GLBT . . . . . . . CUAV (San Francisco) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 415-333-4357
Men . . . . . . . . Next Door Solutions (San Jose) . . . . . . . . . 408-279-2962
Deaf . . . . . . . . Deaf Hope . . . hotline@deaf-hope.org TTY 510-267-8800
6;/,9*644<50;@:,9=0*,:/6;305,:
Childcare, Housing, Employment . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 211
Crisis/Stress Hotline . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .1-855-278-4204
Child Abuse/Neglect Hotline . . . . . . . . .408-299-2071 . . . 650-493-1186
Elder or Dependent Adult Abuse/Neglect Hotline . . . . . .1-800-414-2002
Victim Witness Assistance Program . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 408-295-2656
Can repay costs of medical/counseling for you/kids, moving, lost wages
3,.(3/,37
DV agencies above free general legal information and help with forms
Family Court Clinic free info and legal aid referral . . . 170 Park Ave. SJ
Santa Clara County Bar Assoc. Lawyer Referral Service . . 408-971-6822
Self Help - http://www.scscourt.org/self_help/restraining/ro_help.shtml
796;,*;065
Emergency Protective Restraining Order (EPRO)
You ask police for this at the scene - good for up to 7 days - it can
stop your partner from contacting you/your children, or living at home
Temporary (TRO) or Permanent (DVRO) Restraining Orders
You file papers for TRO at Family Court 170 Park Ave. SJ if TRO is
approved, a long term or permanent RO is possible after a court hearing
Victim Notification System (if the abuser is arrested)
Register to be notified of release on bail . . . . . . . . . . .1-800-464-3568
5(;065(39,:6<9*,:(5+/6;305,:
National Domestic Violence . 1-800-799-SAFE(7233) [TTY 1-800-787-3224]
National Teen Dating Abuse . . . . . . . 1-866-331-9474 [TTY 1-866-331-8453]
National Sexual Assault . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .1-800-656-4673
National Stalking Resource Center . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . www.ncvc.org/src
National Suicide Hotline . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .1-800-273-8255
Form 100-1216
0::64,65,/<9;05.@6<&
Its not your fault. Its against the law.
It affects your health and your children.
Local agencies can offer:
support to decide what to do
legal options
counseling for you and children
a safe place to go in an
emergency
Emergency 911
ask police to take pictures
get name and badge # of ofcer
get police case #
you have a right to be protected,
see below
:(5;(*3(9(*6<5;@
*644<50;@+64,:;0*=063,5*,(.,5*0,:/6;305,:
Community Solutions (Gilroy/MHill) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .1-877-363-7238
Next Door Solutions (San Jose) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 408-279-2962
YWCA Support Network (San Jose) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .1-800-572-2782
Asian/All. . . . . AACI (San Jose) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 408-975-2739
South Asian . . Maitri (San Jose) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .1-888-862-4874
GLBT . . . . . . . CUAV (San Francisco) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 415-333-4357
Men . . . . . . . . Next Door Solutions (San Jose) . . . . . . . . . 408-279-2962
Deaf . . . . . . . . Deaf Hope . . . hotline@deaf-hope.org TTY 510-267-8800
6;/,9*644<50;@:,9=0*,:/6;305,:
Childcare, Housing, Employment . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 211
Crisis/Stress Hotline . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .1-855-278-4204
Child Abuse/Neglect Hotline . . . . . . . . .408-299-2071 . . . 650-493-1186
Elder or Dependent Adult Abuse/Neglect Hotline . . . . . .1-800-414-2002
Victim Witness Assistance Program . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 408-295-2656
Can repay costs of medical/counseling for you/kids, moving, lost wages
3,.(3/,37
DV agencies above free general legal information and help with forms
Family Court Clinic free info and legal aid referral . . . 170 Park Ave. SJ
Santa Clara County Bar Assoc. Lawyer Referral Service . . 408-971-6822
Self Help - http://www.scscourt.org/self_help/restraining/ro_help.shtml
796;,*;065
Emergency Protective Restraining Order (EPRO)
You ask police for this at the scene - good for up to 7 days - it can
stop your partner from contacting you/your children, or living at home
Temporary (TRO) or Permanent (DVRO) Restraining Orders
You file papers for TRO at Family Court 170 Park Ave. SJ if TRO is
approved, a long term or permanent RO is possible after a court hearing
Victim Notification System (if the abuser is arrested)
Register to be notified of release on bail . . . . . . . . . . .1-800-464-3568
5(;065(39,:6<9*,:(5+/6;305,:
National Domestic Violence . 1-800-799-SAFE(7233) [TTY 1-800-787-3224]
National Teen Dating Abuse . . . . . . . 1-866-331-9474 [TTY 1-866-331-8453]
National Sexual Assault . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .1-800-656-4673
National Stalking Resource Center . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . www.ncvc.org/src
National Suicide Hotline . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .1-800-273-8255
Form 100-1216

Domestic Violence Council
Hotline Tip Sheet--1

Everyones plan might be different.
You know what works best for you. Here are some options.
/6>:(-,(9,@6<&
Plan now where you can go if you dont feel safe.
If any of the following are true, your situation may be more dangerous.
Has the violence been getting worse, more often, or scarier lately?
Has your partner ever choked you, or hurt you when you were
pregnant?
Has your partner ever injured pets or someone outside the home?
Does your partner have an alcohol or drug abuse problem?
Is there a gun in the house?
Are the children in danger?
Does your partner know you are planning to leave?
Has your partner threatened to kill you/him/herself?
0-@6<:;(@
Increase safety at home
try to remove yourself and children before violence begins
you can ask police to remove a gun from your home
in an argument avoid rooms with no exits or possible weapons
avoid wearing scarves and long necklaces at home
put a phone in a room you can lock, and plan an escape route
tell someone choose a signal with neighbors to call police
Increase safety for your children
teach them to call 911 and know their address and phone number
make a code word for them to call 911
plan and practice an escape route and a safe place to go
teach them not to get in the middle of a fight
0-@6<+,*0+,;63,(=,
Pack a bag and hide it, or give it to someone you trust
clothes, jewelry, money
cash, change for pay phones, credit & ATM cards
checkbook, bank account #s, pay stub
keys (house, car, office, safety deposit box)
phone, phone calling card, phone/address book
medications, glasses, toiletries, diapers, pictures, keepsakes,
toys, books
Make copies (if safe) or take important papers
birth certificates/passports/soc. sec./immigration/work permits
drivers license/picture ID/marriage/divorce/custody papers
titles/deeds/car registration/car and other insurance
lease/rental papers/rent receipts
health insurance cards/important medical records
school records/immunization (shot) records
evidence of abuse: journal/photos/police or medical reports/ROs
photos of abuser to give to school, office security, etc.
Santa Clara County DV Council 2012 download at dvc.sccgov.org
Leaving is a time of high risk for injury or death
Before you leave, call a hotline for advice on your plan
You can ask police to protect you when you leave
DONT TELL YOUR PARTNER BEFORE YOU GO
www.thehotline.org www.womenslaw.org
Everyones plan might be different.
You know what works best for you. Here are some options.
/6>:(-,(9,@6<&
Plan now where you can go if you dont feel safe.
If any of the following are true, your situation may be more dangerous.
Has the violence been getting worse, more often, or scarier lately?
Has your partner ever choked you, or hurt you when you were
pregnant?
Has your partner ever injured pets or someone outside the home?
Does your partner have an alcohol or drug abuse problem?
Is there a gun in the house?
Are the children in danger?
Does your partner know you are planning to leave?
Has your partner threatened to kill you/him/herself?
0-@6<:;(@
Increase safety at home
try to remove yourself and children before violence begins
you can ask police to remove a gun from your home
in an argument avoid rooms with no exits or possible weapons
avoid wearing scarves and long necklaces at home
put a phone in a room you can lock, and plan an escape route
tell someone choose a signal with neighbors to call police
Increase safety for your children
teach them to call 911 and know their address and phone number
make a code word for them to call 911
plan and practice an escape route and a safe place to go
teach them not to get in the middle of a fight
0-@6<+,*0+,;63,(=,
Pack a bag and hide it, or give it to someone you trust
clothes, jewelry, money
cash, change for pay phones, credit & ATM cards
checkbook, bank account #s, pay stub
keys (house, car, office, safety deposit box)
phone, phone calling card, phone/address book
medications, glasses, toiletries, diapers, pictures, keepsakes,
toys, books
Make copies (if safe) or take important papers
birth certificates/passports/soc. sec./immigration/work permits
drivers license/picture ID/marriage/divorce/custody papers
titles/deeds/car registration/car and other insurance
lease/rental papers/rent receipts
health insurance cards/important medical records
school records/immunization (shot) records
evidence of abuse: journal/photos/police or medical reports/ROs
photos of abuser to give to school, office security, etc.
Santa Clara County DV Council 2012 download at dvc.sccgov.org
Leaving is a time of high risk for injury or death
Before you leave, call a hotline for advice on your plan
You can ask police to protect you when you leave
DONT TELL YOUR PARTNER BEFORE YOU GO
www.thehotline.org www.womenslaw.org
Everyones plan might be different.
You know what works best for you. Here are some options.
/6>:(-,(9,@6<&
Plan now where you can go if you dont feel safe.
If any of the following are true, your situation may be more dangerous.
Has the violence been getting worse, more often, or scarier lately?
Has your partner ever choked you, or hurt you when you were
pregnant?
Has your partner ever injured pets or someone outside the home?
Does your partner have an alcohol or drug abuse problem?
Is there a gun in the house?
Are the children in danger?
Does your partner know you are planning to leave?
Has your partner threatened to kill you/him/herself?
0-@6<:;(@
Increase safety at home
try to remove yourself and children before violence begins
you can ask police to remove a gun from your home
in an argument avoid rooms with no exits or possible weapons
avoid wearing scarves and long necklaces at home
put a phone in a room you can lock, and plan an escape route
tell someone choose a signal with neighbors to call police
Increase safety for your children
teach them to call 911 and know their address and phone number
make a code word for them to call 911
plan and practice an escape route and a safe place to go
teach them not to get in the middle of a fight
0-@6<+,*0+,;63,(=,
Pack a bag and hide it, or give it to someone you trust
clothes, jewelry, money
cash, change for pay phones, credit & ATM cards
checkbook, bank account #s, pay stub
keys (house, car, office, safety deposit box)
phone, phone calling card, phone/address book
medications, glasses, toiletries, diapers, pictures, keepsakes,
toys, books
Make copies (if safe) or take important papers
birth certificates/passports/soc. sec./immigration/work permits
drivers license/picture ID/marriage/divorce/custody papers
titles/deeds/car registration/car and other insurance
lease/rental papers/rent receipts
health insurance cards/important medical records
school records/immunization (shot) records
evidence of abuse: journal/photos/police or medical reports/ROs
photos of abuser to give to school, office security, etc.
Santa Clara County DV Council 2012 download at dvc.sccgov.org
Leaving is a time of high risk for injury or death
Before you leave, call a hotline for advice on your plan
You can ask police to protect you when you leave
DONT TELL YOUR PARTNER BEFORE YOU GO
www.thehotline.org www.womenslaw.org

Domestic Violence Council
Hotline Tip Sheet--2

Resources On the Internet

Women's Law - Free legal information and online support to victims of
domestic violence and sexual assault: http://www.womenslaw.org/

Family Violence Prevention Fund - A national organization providing
training, media campaigns and organizing to prevent domestic violence:
http://www.endabuse.org/

Break the Cycle - A national organization for youth that strives to foster
systemic change through technical assistance and intervention services:
http://www.breakthecycle.org/

Gay Men's Domestic Violence Project - For victims and survivors:
http://www.gmdvp.org/

Legal Resource Center on Violence Against Women - A national
organization where attorneys seek justice and safety in Interstate
custody cases: http://www.lrcvaw.org/

National Prevention of Elder Abuse-Help for the elderly:
http://www.preventelderabuse.org/elderabuse/domestic.html

National Domestic Violence Hotline - Provides information and referral to
victims of domestic violence, perpetrators, friends and families:
http://www.ndvh.org/

Love is Respect - A national teen dating abuse
helpline:http://www.loveisrespect.org/

National Youth Violence Prevention Resource Center - A resource for
communities working to prevent violence committed by and against
young people: http://www.safeyouth.gov

California Courts Self-Help - Help with restraining orders, child custody,
help for children and teens, criminal justice system, etc.
http://www.courtinfo.ca.gov/selfhelp/protection/dv/

Stop Violence Against Women - Info about marital rape, sexual assault,
harassment, trafficking in Women, etc: http://www.stopvaw.org/

Domestic Violence Council of Santa Clara County - Information about
local policies, activities, and all aspects of domestic violence:
http://www.dvc.sccgov.org/

Batterer's Intervention Program in Santa Clara County - Go to:
http://www.sccgov.org/portal/site/scc


10

National Sexual Violence Resource Center - Visit NSVRC.org.

National Coalition Against Domestic Violence - This non-profit
organization provides crisis intervention, information, and referral to
victims of domestic violence, perpetrators, friends and families. Visit
NCADV.org.








































11

Books
Adults - General
The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans

Surviving Domestic Violence: Voices of Women Who Broke Free by
Elaine Weiss

Not To People Like Us by Susan Weitzman

Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
by Lundy Bancroft

Coercive Control by Evan Stark

The Domestic Violence Sourcebook by Dawn Berry

Family and Friends' Guide to Domestic Violence: How to Listen. Talk...
by Weiss

It's My Life Now: Starting Over After... by Dugan and Hock

Women Submit! Christians & Domestic Violence by Jocelyn Anderson

No Visible Wounds: Identifying Non-Physical Abuse... by Mary Miller

Family Interventions in Domestic Violence by Hamel & Nicholls

Controlling People by Patricia Evans

Hectic at Home: Teens Write About... by Youth Communication

The Emotionally Abusive Relationship by Beverly Engel

Abused Men: The Hidden Side of Domestic Violence by Philip W. Cook

Defending Our Lives: Getting Away From Domestic Violence... by
Murphy-Milano

Rape in Marriage by Diana E.H. Russell

I Will Survive: the African-American Guide to Healing... by Robinson &
Boyd

If I Am Missing or Dead: A Sister's Story... by Janine Latus (true story)


12

Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing a Borderline or

Narcissistby William A. Eddy (Attorney, Mediator, and Clinical Social
worker)

Lesbian and Gay Battering
Violence in Gay and Lesbian Domestic Partnership by Renzetti & Miley
Intimate Betrayal: Domestic Violence in Lesbian Relationships by
Kaschak

For and About Children
A Terrible Thing Happened by Margaret Holmes (a story for children)

Amber by Dave Webb (fiction)

I Saw It Happen: A Child's Workbook... by Deaton and Johnson

Something Is Wrong at My House by Diane Davis (based on a true
story)

Effects of Domestic Violence on Children by Sharp & Brown

Children Who See Too Much: Lessons... by Betsy McAlister Groves

A Safe Place to Live:...for Children Who Have Experienced... by
Harrison & Marten

A Safe Place To Grow by Roseby, Johnston, Gentner & Moore

Young Children and Trauma: Intervention and Treatment by Joy
Osofskys

When Dad Hurts Mom by Lundy Bancroft






13

Articles
Batterered Women Face Pit Bulls and Cobras
http://www.nytimes.com/specials/women/warchive/980317_1928.html

Chart of differences between Pit Bulls and Cobras
http://www.focusministries1.org/brochures/CobrasandPitBulls.pdf

Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
http://www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com/
Care Kit for Women in Upscale Abusive Relationships
http://www.theweitzmancenter.org/docs/carekitforweb.pdf



14

When Lhere ls name-calllng, yelllng, LhreaLs,
hlLLlng or oLher abuse ln Lhe home, lL affecLs Lhe
chlldren. 1hls ls Lrue even lf your chlldren are
asleep, noL ln Lhe room when Lhe flghLlng or
abuse happens, or are Loo young Lo Lalk. Lven
very young chlldren know when someLhlng ls
wrong aL home. 1he longer your chlldren llve ln
Lhls slLuaLlon, Lhe harder lL may be for Lhem,
especlally lf Lhey are very young.

Lach chlld ln Lhe famlly may reacL dlfferenLly,
dependlng on Lhelr age and whaL ls happenlng
aL home. 1hey may hlde Lhelr feellngs, or Lhey
may acL up.

1he followlng are some of Lhe changes you
mlghL see ln your chlldren:
leellng sad, afrald, confused, angry, gullLy,
numb or ashamed
WlLhdrawlng from frlends and acLlvlLles
AcLlng younger, such as cllnglng, bed-
weLLlng, or Lhumb-sucklng
hyslcal sympLoms llke nausea,
sLomachaches, headaches, or Llredness
Sleeplng problems, nlghLmares, or belng
afrald of Lhe dark
Changes ln appeLlLe, or galnlng or loslng
welghL
1rylng Lo acL llke a perfecL chlld, or Lrylng Lo
Lake care of everyone
A drop ln school grades, or dlfflculLy
concenLraLlng
CeLLlng lnLo Lrouble wlLh oLher chlldren or
Leachers aL school flghLlng, lylng, sLeallng
uslng alcohol or drugs, Laklng dangerous
rlsks, or geLLlng lnLo Lrouble wlLh Lhe law

1oo many chlldren who grow up ln a home wlLh
vlolence grow up Lo hurL Lhelr own parLners or
chlldren, and pass on vlolence from one
generaLlon Lo Lhe nexL.
!
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We know LhaL asklng for help ls dlfflculL, buL lL ls
lmporLanL for you and for your chlldren LhaL you
geL supporL. We wanL Lo help you llve a safe llfe
wlLh healLhy relaLlonshlps. ?ou and your
chlldren deserve Lhls. We all do.

Lven lf you feel uncomforLable, embarrassed, or
Lalklng ls Lhe flrsL sLep
Lo heallng. Whlle chlldren can bounce back,
Lhey ofLen need help.





























!
!!/01234!5036784!
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!&..*%,9!"#$-!%5;<=-*'!


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t happenlng ls noL your faulL.
1hls ls beLween Lhe grown-/

z
any quesLlons abouL whaL ls golng on aL
home. Can we Lalk abouL whaL
,
> can do Lo keep

//
ls okay Lo feel upseL/sad/angry when
you Lhlnk abouL whaL happened. lL
musL be very hard for you Lo see whaL

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WhaL can we do LogeLher Lo feel

t
?ou are rlghL Lo feel LhaL Lhls should noL
(uo noL make angry
commenLs.)
K
Lhe same Lhlngs happen. We are noL
alone. 1here are people who can help





15

!"#$%&'()*+$!&',)$'-.''
!.'"+/('!"+#*',"#/-*+$'
LeL chlldren know you are geLLlng help Lo
sLop Lhe yelllng, puL-downs and flghLlng
LlsL leL Lhem
know lL ls okay for Lhem Lo Lalk abouL whaL
happened - guess and Lhlnk you know
whaL your chlld undersLands or feels

quesLlons calmly
Ask whaL Lhey are mosL afrald of
Make a plan Lo help each chlld feel safe
lor younger chlldren, read sLorybooks abouL
, wrlLe down Lhelr worrles and Lalk
abouL Lhem, or have Lhem draw plcLures
abouL how Lhey feel
SuggesL LhaL older chlldren wrlLe Lhelr
LhoughLs and feellngs ln a [ournal
rovlde or encourage safe and fun acLlvlLles
lnslde and ouLslde of Lhe home
keep a regular, conslsLenL schedule as much
as posslble
Pave chlldren spend more Llme wlLh oLher
LrusLed adulLs
Show healLhy ways Lo deal wlLh anger and
belng upseL, such as counLlng Lo 10 or dolng
someLhlng physlcal llke walklng or marchlng
1ry noL Lo
keep
When a change ls golng Lo happen, leL
chlldren know ahead of Llme
Conslder counsellng for your chlldren



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Chlldhelp naLlonal Chlld Abuse PoLllne
1-800-422-4433
naLlonal 1een uaLlng Abuse Pelpllne
1-866-331-9474 www.lovelsrespecL.org
277>='
!"#$%%&'($"#)&*+"
,-..$*$/ (age 4-8)
by MargareL Polmes
lS8n 1337987017
012$3)&*+"&4"5%1*+"-3"
67",184$ (age 3-12)
by ulane uavls
lS8n 0943990106
!"9-2&(7"3)-3"9&+)34
(age 4-12) by Sharon
8ernsLeln lS8n 0807322481

()*+$!&'
"789:;<='
arenLal SLress PoLllne
1-833-278-4204
naLlonal uomesLlc vlolence (uv) PoLllne
(for men and women)
1-800-799-7233 www.ndvh.org
SanLa Clara CounLy uv hoLllnes and
communlLy shelLers hLLp://dvc.sccgov.org
277>=?'(@ABC9<8='@;D'E<F=:8<='
,/t
:;.148%$"31"<&1($*=$""!">8&/$"?1%"9-2&(&$4
free download aL
hLLp://safesLarLcenLer.org/pdf/careglver.pdf
@&33($":7$4A"@&33($":-%4B",1C"<&1($*=$"!+-&*43"
-"613)$%"0)-.$4"D)&(/%$*"-4"3)$7">%1C
free download aL hLLp://www.lfcc.on.ca/
llLLle_eyes_llLLle_ears.pdf
5)$*"E-/",8%34"612B",$(.&*+"F18%"
D)&(/%$*",$-("3)$"518*/4"1?"5&3*$44&*+""
!'84$ by Lundy 8ancrofL lS8n 0423200310
Men SLopplng vlolence
hLLp://www.mensLopplngvlolence.org

* 1he conLenL of Lhls lnformaLlon sheeL ls based on Lhe
lnformaLlon LhaL was avallable aL Lhe Llme Lhe sheeL was
prepared, and was adapLed wlLh permlsslon from kalser
ermanenLe and oLher maLerlals. AlLhough we have
aLLempLed Lo provlde accuraLe and useful lnformaLlon, please
consulL a professlonal counselor or advlser lf you
need counsellng for yourself or your chlldren, or a lawyer
lf you need legal advlce.
1hls lnformaLlon sheeL ls provlded by Lhe
SanLa Clara CounLy uomesLlc vlolence
Councll. (2012)
lree download can be found aL
hLLp://dvc.sccgov.org.
.






16

Power and Control Wheels

Power and Control Wheel
http://www.ncdsv.org/images/PowerControlwheelNOSHADING.pdf

Abuse of Children Wheel
http://www.csswashtenaw.org/ada/resources/Duluth_child_abuse_wheel.pdf

Children Coping with Family Violence Wheel
http://www.ncdsv.org/images/ChildrenviolencewheelNOSHADING-NCDSV.pdf

Teen Power and Control Wheel
http://www.ncdsv.org/images/Teen%20P&C%20wheel%20NO%20SHADING.pdf

Teens Experiencing Abusive Relationships (TEAR) Power and Control Wheel
http://www.ncdsv.org/images/TeensAgainstAbuse_TEAR-PandCWheel_2009.pdf

Bullying Power and Control Wheel
http://www.ncdsv.org/images/BullyWheel_ncsdv_logo.pdf

Lifetime Spiral of Gender Abuse/ Abuses Endured By a Woman During Her Life Cycle
http://www.csswashtenaw.org/ada/resources/Duluth_life_cycle_wheel.pdf

Abuse Later in Life Wheel
http://www.ncdsv.org/images/NCALL_abuse%20later%20in%20life%20power%20an
d%20control%20wheel%20final_2006.pdf

Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Trans Power and Control Wheel
http://www.ncdsv.org/images/Lesbian-GayPCwheelNOSHADING.pdf

Immigrant Power and Control Wheel
http://www.endingviolence.org/files/uploads/ImmigrantWomenPCwheel.pdf

Muslim Power and Control Wheel
http://www.ncdsv.org/images/Muslim%20Power%20and%20Control%20Wheel.pdf

Medical Power and Control Wheel
http://www.ncdsv.org/images/MedicalPCwheelNOSHADING-NCDSV.pdf

Police Perpetrated Domestic Violence Wheel
http://www.ncdsv.org/images/Police-perpetrateddomviolNOSHADING.pdf

Power and Control: Lawyer-Client Relationship Abuse and Psychological Assault
http://home.earthlink.net/~numeraire/Lawyers/PowerControlWheelLawyerClient.pdf

Mental Health System Power and Control Wheel
http://www.ncdsv.org/images/MentalHealthSystemPCWheel.pdf


17

Domestic Violence: A Cross-Cutting Issue for Social Workers Wheel

http://www.ncdsv.org/images/SocialWorkDVwheelNOSHADING-NCDSV.pdf

Community-Accountability Model of Mens Violence Against Women Wheel
http://www.ncdsv.org/images/MSV_CommunityAccountabilityModelMen'sVAW.pdf

3 Wheels of Power and Control: Individual, Institutional, Cultural Wheel
http://www.ncdsv.org/images/PCwheelthreeringsNOSHADING-NCDSV.pdf

The Maze of Coercive Control Wheel
http://www.ncdsv.org/images/Wheel_MazeOfCoerciveControl.pdf






































18

Equality Wheels

Equality Wheel
http://www.ncdsv.org/images/EqualitywheelNOSHADING.pdf

Natural Life-Supporting Power Wheel
http://www.ncdsv.org/images/Native%20wheel%20NO%20SHADING.pdf

Nurturing Children Wheel
http://www.csswashtenaw.org/ada/resources/Duluth_Nuturing_Children_wheel.pdf

Equality Wheel for Teens
http://www.ncdsv.org/images/teenequalitywheelnoshading-ncdsv.pdf

Domestic Violence and Employment Wheel
http://www.peaceatwork.org/DV_Employment_Wheel.pdf

Advocacy Empowerment Wheel
http://www.ncdsv.org/images/MentalHealthSystemAdvocacyWheel.pdf

Judicial Responses That Empower Battered Women Wheel
http://www.ncdsv.org/images/JudicialResponseswheelNOSHADING.pdf

Community Faith Leaders Wheel
http://www.csswashtenaw.org/ada/resources/Duluth_faith_leaders_wheel.pdf

Community Accountability Wheel
http://www.ncdsv.org/images/CommunityAccountwheelNOSHADING.pdf

Ideal Institutional Response Wheel
http://www.ncdsv.org/images/IdealInstitutionalResponse.pdf

Successful Collaboration Wheel
http://www.ncdsv.org/images/SuccessfulCollaborationwheelNOSHADING-
NCDSV.pdf
19

20

21

22

LOCATIONS OF COURTHOUSES & CONTACT INFORMATION

Downtown Superior Court (DTS)
191 N. First St., San Jose CA 95113
(408) 882-2100 ; TTY/TDD (408) 882-2690

Website: www.scscourt.org/


Family Courthouse
North County
Street address: 170 Park Ave., San Jose CA 95113

Mailing address: 191 N. First St. San Jose CA 95113

(408) 534-5600 ; TTY/TDD (408) 534-5704

South County Morgan Hill Courthouse (Civil, Criminal, Family, Small Claims, and
Traffic)
301 Diana Ave., Morgan Hill, CA 95037
(408) 695-5000 TDD: (408) 695-5199
Website: http://www.scscourt.org/general_info/contact/courthouses/southcounty.shtml



23