The Hundred Acre Woodville

Scene

A). Pretty pooh, Gomez the gopher and Pot-a-ford Q. Beverton are sitting on a log
enjoying the breeze and sunlight!

Pretty Pooh: Oh it is such a beautiful day, but not as beautiful as me! He he he !

Gomez: Pooh you talk loco man, why you so pretty man?

Pretty: Cuz “I’m beautiful, it’s true yeah” (SING)

Pot: Oh Yeah! (RUN)

B). Suddenly loud noises interrupt the peace and they turn around to Lady the

Penguin pushing a slide on wheels. Sam the Scorpion

comes from under the log and looks at Lady with anger!

Gomez: A Lady what is this thing u are pushing man?

Lady: Well………..It’s a tea slide!!!

Gomez: Huh?

Sam: can I plz ice her out?

c). Steer 3000 and Steer Franklin come to calm down Sam.

3000: No you can’t do that man!

Franklin: My brothern steer away from angry thoughts. Focus your energy on
positivity. Yes! It makes me want to Stomp.

D). The twin gospel turtles now have an opportunity to do what they do best.

Turtles: My brother can’t you see I got the Victory…Stomp! Stomp! Stomp!(SING)

Pot: Oh Yeah!!! (SING)

E). With all the praise and singing Gloria the cow couldn’t help but to join the crowd.
Gloria: A-men, A-men, A-men!! Ya see God is a good God. And He’s worthy!!!

Franklin: Yes! He is Hosanna!

Turtles: Hosanna, Forever we worship you! (SING)

Turtles: Hosanna, Forever we worship u!

Lady: Well that there was nice!

Sam: Nobody asked You!

Lady: Naw that aint true.

Sam: I need a smoke.

F). Sam leaves and everyone is distracted by a calming buzzing sound. Suddenly
Lady realizes it is the unique umm hummm sounds from lil Ranni the yard knome.

Lady: Well there she is

Ranni: Umm Hummm

Steer 3000: How are you doing lil ranni

Ranni: Hello to you all! I am well! Umm hummm!

Ranni: eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

G). Suddenly lady is fascinated by a flying object!

Lady: Look yall it’s a plane.

Gomez: Man dat is not a plane..man!

Lady: Well what is it!

Gloria: It’s Quinten Quail!

H). Lady waves her hands repeatedly and shouts to grab his attention.

Lady: Ka ka! Ka ka!

Gomez: man she loco fo real!

3000: Yes! This behavior is very puzzling!

Quinten: Sup!
I). Before anyone can respond Lady begins to speak!

Lady: Oh I’m fine. Just tryna make it. You know I had my surgery and I’m not as fast
as I used to be. All my kids are doing fine and I’m thinking about changing insurance
companies. But yeah I put some Rid-X down brother toilet and I cleaned out sister
sink with some Comet. I graduated last spring and now I’m re-enrolled to get my
bachelors. But yeah I took in a homeless boy he lives with me now and he sure does
love to Sang! Kirk you should know all about that business industry.

Kirk: Yeah

Lady: So then my son-n-law got in trouble with the law so now he is a convicted
murderer…I’m sure. So we have to avoid him now. But I’ve been at Penguin Tots
Playcare Facility for 19 years now. Yeah those children just love me. We play with rat
poison, lighters, and butcher knives. And we eat healthy food like flat cake, and
spoons of fat and cups of grease and they just love their salt straws. Oh and did I
tell ya that my daughters bra size went up again. I tell ya her breasts just keep
getting bigger and bigger

Gomez: oOOH! I Like!

Lady: and bigger but yeah I’m tryna see if I was the victim of a scam cuz my credit
score is in the negatives. Well come to think about it Ipod the weasel said he could
help me get a good deal on some shrimp, fish and lobster packages. All I had to do
was give him my Penguin Security Letters CBF-AA-NAWG but he must have
accidently dropped my card and somebody picked up!

J). ……………..By this time all the other characters except lil Ranni and Quintenhave
left. Quinten trys to cut her off.

Lady: I just can’t imagine

Quinten: Lady!!

Lady: How that happened

Quinten: Lady!!!

Lady: I’m just so shocked that

Quinten: LAADDYYYYYYYYY!

Lady: What!!!

K). Suddenly weasel pops up!

Ipod: I believe I heard my name earlier!

Lady: Well Hi, Did u get my seafood packages!

Ipod: Yes! They will be here in 5 months

Lady: 5 months ah ah ah ah naw!

Ipod: Ms Lady I so sorry but the company suffered through a fire in there West
Warehouse.

L). Clearly he just made that up!

Lady: A firreer!

Ipod: Yes but for your trouble we want to offer you a free gift………a brand new pair
of shoes!

Lady: Shoes………………What are those??!!!

M). Ipod sneaks away The end!!