OLIVER Crash of Thunder. Rolling of drums, cracks of lightning. Gymnasts dance stormily.

Pregnant woman struggles down aisle to stage carrying Moses Basket- collapses at Workhouse Gates. Lights Out. Screams of Labour- Baby crying. Narrator 1 In the first half of the 19th Century, there existed in most English Towns a grim building known as the workhouse. This was where the parish authorities sent the old, the homeless and the poor who could not work and had nowhere else to go. It was in this workhouse that Oliver Twist was born. Olivers mother, a beautiful young woman, had been found lying in the street the night before. Nobody knew who she was and she died within minutes of giving birth. Oliver Twist was given his unusual name by Mr Bumble, the parish official in charge of the workhouse. That was eleven years ago though and Oliver has been growing up. Watch out, here come Mr and Mrs Bumble. WORKHOUSE SCENE Enter Mr and Mrs Bumble in hot conversation. Mr B Mrs B Mr B Mrs B Mr B No! No! No! Mrs Bumble we cannot give the children more fruit and vegetables. Oh But Mr Bumble a balanced diet would help them grow and stay healthy. Oh what rubbish- I sometimes wonder where you get your insane ideas from my dear. I beseech you; we cant feed them watery gruel every day of their miserable lives. Why on earth not? Are their lives even worth worrying about my dear? Watery gruel is all their good for. Now we must be getting on; its nearly dinnertime. Curtain back revealing dinner-tables with scruffy children waiting hungrily. SONG Orphan 1 Orphan 2 Orphan 3
Is it worth the waiting for if we live till eighty-four All we ever get is gruel Every day we say a prayer Will they change the bill of fare Still we get the same old gruel Theres not a crust Not a crumb can we find Can we beg can we borrow or cadge But there's nothing to stop us from getting a thrill When we all close our eyes And imagine Kitchen Shutter flies up and children run out of Kitchen with food.

Narrator 2

Narrator 1 Narrator 2

Orphan 4

ALL

FOOD GLORIOUS FOOD Hot sausage and mustard While we're in the mood Cold jelly and custard Pease-pudding and saveloys What next is the question Rich gentlemen have it, boys Indigestion Food We're anxious to try it Three banquets a day Our favourite diet Just picture a great big steak Fried, roasted or stewed Oh, food, wonderful food Marvellous food, glorious food Food, glorious food Don't care what it looks like Burned, underdone, crude Don't care what the cook's like Just thinking of growing fat Our senses are reeling One moment of knowing that Full up feeling Food, glorious food What wouldn't we give for That extra bit more That's all that we live for Why should we be fated to do nothing but brood on food Magical food Wonderful food Marvellous food Heavenly food Beautiful food Glorious Food Shutter slams down- Children run back into kitchen.

Mr Bumble

For what you're about to receive May the Lord make you truly thankful AMEN

Children

Children hungrily wolf down the gruel- licking bowls and spoons.

Orphan 1 Orphan 2 Oliver Orphan 3 Orphan 4

Im still starving as usual. Yes I know, even though that gruel is cruel and tastes disgusting I could still eat ten more bowls. Why dont you ask for some more? Are you stark raving mad? Bumble would kill me and boil me up in tomorrows gruel.

Now thats what I call cruel gruel.

Orphan 5 Orphan 6 Oliver

Thats what I call cannibalism. Go on, go on, I dare you; ask for some more.

Alright- I will! Stands up with bowl and walks hesitantly towards Bumble and Boiling Pot

Oliver Mr Bumble Oliver Mr Bumble

Please Sir May I have some more?

What did you say?

Please Sir May I have some more?

MORE!

MORE! MORE!

Oliver drops his bowl and starts running. Porter 1 Porter 2

Catch him, Snatch him.

Hold him, Scold him.

Porter 3 Mr Bumble

Pounce him, trounce him Pick him up and bounce him

Wait! Before we take the lad to task. May I be so curious as to ask his name?

Children SONG Mr B

OLIVER! Oliver, Oliver Never before has a boy wanted more Oliver, Oliver Won't ask for more when he knows what's in store There's a dark, thin, winding stairway without any banister Which we'll throw him down And feed him cockroaches served in a canister

Porters

Mr B

Oliver, Oliver, what will he do

when he's turned black and blue He will rue the day somebody named him Oliver

Mrs B

Oliver, Oliver Never before has a boy wanted more Oliver, Oliver, won't ask for more when he knows what's in store There's a long, thin, winding stairway without any banister Which we'll throw him down And feed him cockroaches served in a canister Oliver, Oliver What, heavens pray will the governors say They will lay the blame on the one Who named him Oliver Get that greedy good- for- nothing little toe-rag out of my sight, before I skin him alive and add him to tomorrows gruel.

Porters

Mr B

Mrs Bumble

Mr Bumble

Lights Down

Narrator 1

As you can imagine Oliver did not fancy being tomorrows dinner and so he decided to run away as quickly as possible.

Narrator 2

The poor boy gathered the few possessions he had and ran for his life- as he had no family or friends he decided to head for London. Where he had heard the streets were paved with gold. He travelled alone, on foot, for two days. Eventually he arrived in the great City of London. Tired, hungry and a little bit frightened.

Narrator 1

STREET SCENE (2)

Oliver hobbles in with knapsack. Awe-struck looking around at City of London. Rich window shoppers. Artful Dodger watches Oliver from side stage.

Artful Dodger Oliver AD O AD

What you gawping at? Aint you never seen a Tof before? Excuse me I didnt mean to stare. Its just Ive never been to London before and it all seems so busy, exciting and very confusing. Never been to London? Where you been all your life then? Ive run away from the workhouse where I used to live. Oh I get it- youre on the run from the Law- why didnt yer say so. Dont worry me ol mate youll be fine with the Dodger. The Dodger? Whats that? The Dodger thats me, the Artful Dodger. At your service (bows courteously). How do you do, my names Oliver. Pleased to meet you Mr Dodger. Charmed Im sure. Ere I spose youll be ungry and in need of a bed for the night. Oh Yes - do you know anywhere? Well I do as it appens I know just the place for you. Fagins Place. I dont have any money at the moment but I can find a job and I will pay my way. No fear about that mi lad youll pay your way alright. Follow me Ill take you to Fagins Place. CONSIDER YOURSELF Now keep up Oliver we aint got all day! (Exit Stage)

O AD O AD O AD O AD SONG AD

FAGINS DEN SCENE (3).

Narrator 1 Narrator 2

So Oliver was led through the grimiest and darkest streets in Old London Town. Passed beggars and thieves, wild dogs and scurrying rats. The horrible sights, sounds and smells he encountered were a long way from the streets paved with gold he had set off to find. Eventually, however, they reached their destinationFagins Place. Wake Up Wake Up you lazy little so and sos. The suns up why arent you?

Fagin Alright Fagin gis a chance. Pete Pat Fagin Ang on a minute what about me brekkie? Paul Pen Fagin Morning Fagin, Ive got a new guest whose interested in lodging wiv us. AD Fagin Oliver. Oliver Twist. Sir O Fagin Oh Yeah, youll love it. (in unison) Pick pockets Im Pete, Pete Pen Paul Im Arnold but they all insist on calling me Pat. Pat Pete Paul Were the pickers, the pokers, the pocketeers, Im Pen, Im Paul, Welcome young Oliver, I fink youll fit in very well. Dont yer fink boys? Lodging? Oh I see, I see. Well do come in. Whats your name young gentleman? Ere these sausages are mouldy. Shut up and drink yer gin. Blimey Fagin! Is that the time already? Yes it is- now urry up weve got work to do.

Pen the pranksters , Pat the practical jokers, Pete the posers Pen The Practically Perfect Posse PPP Fagin You're staring at the pocket handkerchiefs, eh, my dear? We hung them up, ready for the wash, that's all. - Is this a laundry then, sir? O F - That's right, a laundry. Well not exactly, my boy. I suppose a laundry would be a very nice thing, indeed! But our line of business pays a little better. Don't it, boys You see, Oliver... YOUVE GOTTA PICK A POCKET OR TWO SONG So my little artful one, what you got Today? Fagin AD Fagin AD Fagin Ingenious workman, ain't he, Oliver? Pat - Does he make these himself? O Thats right with those skilful little hands of his. Pete - What've you got, Paul?? F - Couple of wipes. Paul Couple of wallets. - Lined? - Only the best Not as heavy as they might be...but very nicely made.

Pat Pen

Very nice, lovely quality but you haven't...embroidered them too well, have you? So we'll have to pick the initials out with a needle. You'll need to learn how to do this, too, Oliver. Won't he, boys?

Fagin Yeah, the trademark. PPP But in the meantime, you must learn how to make wallets. Fagin Like the Dodger? O Would you like that? Fagin Yes, Mr. Fagin, if you'll teach me. Oliver Fagin Certainly, my boy. No fee. Just do everything that Dodger and the others do. Make them your models! Especially Dodger. Well now Oliver I think its time I showed you some of the tricks of the trade Come on me old mate Keep Up. I aint anging round ere no more. Are you comin or wot? Im coming Dodger. (AD and O exit) O PPP Youve got to pick a pocket or two .boys.. Youve got to pick a pocket or two. (PPP exit)

AD

Narrator 2

So the Oliver went off with his new found friends on a crash course on how to become a pick pocket. Unfortunately Oliver got more than he bargained for. But more of that later. Whilst the Practically Perfect Posse were on their business, Fagin had some other business to attend to with a rather shady character called Bill Sykes. Ooh that man gives me the creeps- I dont know what that Nancy sees in him.

Narrator 1

Narrator 2

THE PUB SCENE (SCENE 4) (Partying, drinking and chatting- raucous laughter.) Oh Hello Fagin- what you doing down ere? Nancy I dont spose hell be spending any of his cash. Thats for certain. Bella Not likely- not at your inflated prices. Fagin Suit yourself Fagin- you miserable old goat. Bella Nancy Steady on Bella. Fagins a friend of Bills. Now Fagin if youre ere to see Bill, park yourself over there hell be along in a while. (sinister music- spot light on Bill, carrying a heavy bag of swag, Bullseye and Slimy Sid) Evening Bill you seem a little over burdened there. Here let me give you an and. Fagin Get yer ands off Fagin. I tell you when you can touch the goods, and not before- right. Bill Yeah get yer ands off Slimy Sid Grr Grr Bullseye Of course Bill whatever you say Bill. F Take a look at this little lot, a regular treasure trove ere. (Takes swag out of bag). Bill Yeah- a treasure trove Slimy Sid Grr GRR Bullseye My My Bill you have done well. F Bill Yes I have and I expect rich rewards- Ill send Nancy for the cash tomorrow, and if you try and short change me, youll find some of your fingers missing. No clear out of ere before the cops turn up. Yeah before the cops turn up. Slimy Sid Grr Grr Bullseye Of course Bill, Ill bid you goodnight then. (Fagin exits with the bag) F Nancy. Nancy.Nancy Wheres my Dinner? Bill Yeah wheres his dinner? Slimy Sid Grr Grr Bullseye Hello darling didnt see you come in Ill get it for you right away. Nancy

Bill Slimy Sid

You should have it ready for me now. What you been doing all night sitting on your fat behind while Ive been out making a living. Yeah out making a living. Grr Grr

Bullseye Sorry Bill Ill get it right now. Sorry Bill. Nancy Narrator 2 Narrator 1 Sorry Bill Sorry Bill (mimicking Nancy) Whats wrong with Nancy? Cant she see that man is a pig? Dont worry; shell see the light one of these days, Im sure. Any way we need to see what Oliver and his new mates are getting up to. Come this way.

STREET SCENE THE ARREST (SCENE 5) Rich people walking back and forth window shopping- PPP picking pockets and handkerchiefs with ease. Mr Brownlow perusing a bookstore to the side of stage. AD Now look at that one Oliver my son. That one is loaded. Look at the cut of his suit. Oh yes he is game- ready for the taking. Watch the master at work. (sneaks up behind Mr Brownlow- attempting to remove his wallet) Oliver stares in shock and horror Shopkeeper Mr Brownlow Cop 1 Hold him, Scold him. Cop 2 Cop3 Oliver Narrator 1 Narrator 2 Narrator 2 As you can see things are not going too well for Oliver. Not going too well! Thats an understatement if ever I heard one. Hes been arrested for stealing, all his friends have scarpered and now hes being dragged up before a judge. A judge, in a courtroom? How exciting! Yes but before that happens, The Practically Perfect Posse have to break the bad news back Pounce him, trounce him Pick him up and bounce him Oh no Not Again!! (Cops grab Oliver-Lights down) Watch Out Stop Thief (Dodger grabs the wallet runs to Oliver gives over the wallet and scarpers) What- Stop. Come Back here. Police, Police Stop the Thief. (Pointing at Oliver- who runs off chased by the Police) Catch him, Snatch him.

Narrator 1

at Fagins. Lets go and take a look.

BACK AT FAGINS (SCENE 6) Afternoon Fagin. Nancy Oh Hello Nancy- To what do I owe the great privilege of your presence? Fagin Oh come off it Fagin- You know why Im ere. So hand over the cash. Nancy Oh yes of course, clean slipped my mind. Here you go Nancy (passes some cash). Fagin Nancy Fagin Nancy PPP and AD run in out of breath. Afternoon boys back so soon- had a good day? Fagin Not really Fagin- Olivers been nicked! AD Nicked how could this happen? Fagin I dunno it all appened so quick. AD Oh that poor boy all on his own in a prison cell. Nancy Dont worry about Oliver- Worry about whats going to happen to us if he spills the beans. Fagin Dont let Bill find out about this, whatever you do. Nancy Bill Slimy Sid (enter Bill Sykes) Find out about what? Yeah find out about what? I think Bill might feel a bit short-changed Fagin. I wouldnt want to see you short of some fingers would I? Humph How am I meant to keep the boys fed and watered with this kind of daylight robbery? Dont knock robbery Fagin- it seems to be paying all our bills. (cackling laugh)

Grr Grr Bullseye Narrator 1 Narrator 2 Well as you can guess. Bill went crazy when he found out that Oliver had been caught by the Police. He ordered Nancy to go to the court to make sure that Oliver didnt give away any information to the Cops.

THE COURTROOM (SCENE 7) Silence. Silence in court. Clerk Judge Clerk Well, what crime is this one charged with? He looks guilty to me. Speak up, man! What's he charged with? He's not charged at all, Your Worship. This gentleman appears against the boy. Boy? What boy? I see no boy. The boy in the dock, Your Worship. Oh, yes. Stand up, boy. I can't see you. Judge - He is standing up, Your Worship. Clerk Judge Clerk Prosecutor Judge Oliver Don't be impertinent. - Well, what's he charged with? Picking pockets, sir.

Judge Clerk

This piece of low life is the scourge of London town and needs to be dealt with firmly. I recommend a good beating and a life behind bars. What's your name? Oliver Twist

Hmm. And does your father know you're here? Judge Im an orphan, Sir. Oliver Where do you come from? Where do you live? Who looks after you? Judge He doesnt seem to be answering your lordship. Clerk Judge Shop Keeper Judge Shopkeeper I will speak! I saw what happened. It was outside my shop. Two other boys stole Mr. Brownlow's wallet. This child had nothing to do with it. But sentence has been passed! Hasn't it? If this boy is innocent I will adopt him as he has nobody else to look after him. Mr Brownlow Very Well - Case dismissed- Anyone for a drink? (hiccup) Judge Well now things seem to be looking up for Oliver. Narrator 1 Yes certainly does seem to have landed on his feet this time. Narrator 2 MR BROWNLOWS HOUSE- (SCENE 7) (Oliver opens window to reveal beautiful square- peddlers and sellers milling around) Who Will Buy? SONG Narrator 1 Narrator 2 So is that it then? They all lived happily ever after? Narrator 3 Well not exactly- Bill Sykes has other plans. Narrator 4 (Bill and Nancy appear and look up at Mr Brownlows House) Oh leave him be. Hes happy now; he wont breathe a word about what hes seen. Nancy Bill Are you mad? If he talks Ill be swinging from the gallows. No time for sweet sentimentalities you go and fetch him back. Yes he seems to be very happy. Its the first time in his life that someone has actually cared about him. Mr Brownlow was very kind and made sure Oliver was really comfortable. Very well the boy is committed to three months with hard labour Stop this is disgraceful! Remove this lunatic. Clear the court.

Judge

Yeah fetch him back. Slimy Sid Grr Grr Bullseye Ill do no such thing. The poor boy's done you no arm. Nancy Bill Slimy Sid Grr Grr Bullseye (Oliver comes out with a package to deliver- meets Nancy and they chat, AD and PPP ambush Oliver in a sack and carry him off) Nancy left alone on stage crying with guilt. Lights down. Oh no this is terrible where are they taking him? Narrator 1 Where do ya think? Bill Sykes place. Narrator 2 I was afraid you were going to say that. Narrator 1 Hang on whats Nancy doing now? Narrator 2 Nancy rings Mr Brownlows doorbell. Good evening how may I help you? House Keeper Nancy H Keeper He dont know me but I know where the boy is. Nancy Oliver? H Keeper Yes Hurry Up I need to see him. Nancy Where is he? Mr Brownlow I cant tell you that but I can bring him to you. Nancy When? Where? Mr Brownlow I will meet you at midnight by the bridge- come alone. Nancy Very well Mr Brownlow Excuse me is the Master in? Yes who shall I say is calling maam? Youll do as I say or you will feel my hands around that pretty little neck of yours. Now get moving. Yeah get moving

THE PUB SCENE (SCENE 8). Partying, drinking and raucous laughter. Nancy and Oliver in corner. Guard him with yer life dont let im out of your sight. Bill Yeah dont let im out of your sight Slimy Sid Grr Grr Bullseye Alright Bill I will. Nancy Oomp Pah Pah SONG (Oliver is whisked away by Nancy and they make their way to the bridge). Bullseye starts barking Bill What is it boy? What where are they? Why that two timing vixen. Wait till I get my ands on er. Come on Bullseye show me the way. (Exit Bill, Sid and Bullseye) This is all getting too much for me. I cant keep up. Narrator 1 Nancy is taking Oliver back to Mr Brownlow. Narrator 2 I hope they make it before Bill catches up with them. Narrator 1

THE BRIDGE SCENE (SCENE 9) Come on Oliver Keep Up. Mr Brownlow will be waiting for us. Nancy Im trying Nancy. Thank you for helping me. Oliver Thank me later- keep running. Nancy (Bullseye barking in the background) Nancy Oh no Bills on our trail- weve ad it now. Theres Mr Brownlow. Run to him. Ill slow Bill down. (Enter Bill,Sid and Bullseye) Where is he? You useless piece of dirt. Bill Yeah where is he? Slimy Sid No Bill Leave him. Its my fault I led him here. Nancy

Bill Slimy Sid Bullseye Cop 1

Then youre going to pay dearly my dear. (Shadow of murder scene) Yeah very dearly. Grr Grr (Whistles blowing Policeman run in) Stop that Man Catch him, Snatch him.

Cop 2 Hold him, Scold him. Cop 3 Cop 4 Pounce him, trounce him Pick him up and bounce him ( Cops arrest Bill Sykes)

At last that evil man has been caught- what a creep. Narrator 1 What about poor Nancy- she gave her life to save Oliver. What a hero. Narrator 2 Oliver was formally adopted by Mr Brownlow and will never forget what Nancy did for him. Narrator 1 What about Fagin, the Dodger and the Practically Perfect Posse? Narrator 2 Narrator 1 As for the Dodger and others Nobody really knows what happened to them. Narrator 2 (enter AD and PPP arm in arm) Well boys which career shall we embark upon now? AD Pat Pen Paul Pete Narrator 1 Remember Crime Never Pays and the heroes of this world are the ones that can stay on the Right Path. Goodnight. Narrator 2 What about the legal profession? (picks pocket) How about the Banking profession?(picks pocket) I know- we could all be Estate Agents- nobody believes a word they say. (picks pocket) No No Surely its got to be Tax Collectors (picks pocket) Goodnight Ladies and Gentlemen we hope you have enjoyed our tale of murder and morality. Well Fagin saw the error of his ways and set up an antiques business- hes making a killing on eBay.