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Ballroom Lessons

The Giger Chronicles

A play by Pamela Olson


Where Ballroom Dance is a dark place for women and a bright side for men. Savvy, mate?
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Copyright 2001 - 2012 by Pamela Olson All rights reserved. All wrongs revenged. Its a story. Semblance to anyone is not intended --nor should be inferred. Savvy, mate?

Doc Severinsen's There Is A Girl http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MjG0S6dc-sY

A graduate of College of Marin then Sonoma State University, in the middle of The American Wine Country, California USA, Planet Earth, Milky Way, Pamela Olson is A Marin County Volunteer of the Year, founding board member North Bay Multimedia Association,

Home Designer, Raconteur, Gardener,


Time Traveler, Swimmer, Veteran,

Friend, Real Estate Authority, Ballroom Dancer, Mama,


Color Junkie, Bon vivant, Professor, Author, Wife, and

Landlord Extraordinaire
aka opinionated.
May all your storms be weathered,

and all that is good get better.

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Cast
JOE as played by Morgan Freeman MARGA as played by Charlotte Rampling

CAROL as played by Kristin Davis JAMES as played by Ryan Reynolds TRACY as played by Barbara Hershey

ALICE as played by Lucy Lawless

J. K. OLSON as played by Burt Ward LANCE as played by Jamie Bell EDGAR as played by Matt Smith

ELEKTRA as played by Frances Fisher FATA MORGANA as played by Joanna Lumley JIM as played by Dwight Yoakam MORGANA as played by Rene Russo

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Director
Director W. ALLEN TAYLOR

Costume Designer
Costume Designer MIA BAXTER

Guest Stars
DIANE KEATON as Joan Westin KATIE HOLMES as Jessica Freitas-Hamilton, RN, MS

PETER DINKLAGE as himself

Cameo
Herb Alpert as himself Tanya Tucker as herself
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Billie Holiday Cover as Billie Holiday

Peggy Lee Cover as Peggy Lee

The Pretenders as themselves

Forester Sisters as themselves

Marcia Ball as herself

Wynonna as herself

Barbra Streisand as herself

Andy Gibb Cover as Andy Gibb

Settings
Margaret Todd Senior Center, City of Novato, Marin County, California
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CONTINUED FROM Episode 13 Whistling Away the Dark"


http://www.scribd.com/doc/104750462/Whistling-Away-the-Dark-a-Giger-ChroniclesEpisode

Second star to the right . . . and straight on 'til morning

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Tunes
The Giger Chronicles Theme Song
Herb Alpert's Behind the Rain @ http://www.myspace.com/herbalpert/music/songs/behind-the-rainalbum-version-285816

Tanya Tucker's Everything That You Want @ http://www.youtube.com/watch? v=zbNX3G7OCsY

Billie Holiday's Comes Love @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6FrwC0TsIvE

Peggy Lee's I'm A Woman @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=obUTg6vkdpk

The Pretenders' Thin Line Between Love and Hate @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4pCCdclkdLY

Forester Sisters' Men @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6DI0Z2x_xZE

Marcia Ball's Find Another Fool @ http://www.youtube.com/watch? v=AOhX4hK8x9M

Wynonna's That Was Yesterday @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6NrCelfsp8A

Barbra Streisand & Andy Gibb - Who's Sorry Now http://grooveshark.com/#!/s/Who+s+Sorry+Now/94QvK?src=5

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Character Descriptions
JOE: an old reliable Charlie Wilsons War work truck with nightmares, the real G.I. Joe. Overweight paunch, losing hair, amiable, intelligent, methodical, lumbering painfully from old military wounds with still a healthy dose of his younger swagger, prone to bar fights, smoker, drinker, practical, seasoned, inventive to the core, treacherous, full of quiet purpose. JOE is a total What would Sam do? guy. JOE is several times divorced, a womanizer, apathetic to his children, fiercely patriotic, ballroom dance troller, wryly comic, and is deadly in some areas. He is a Viet Nam Army vet, 40-year lifer, retired E9, 100% disabled, although to the then world Joe was just an E4, simple, black and The Grease Monkey needed well everywhere. Joe is from a poor family in Biloxi, Mississippi where Joe grew up around the Air Force base there. When drafted into the Army, Joe earned an Associates Degree in Business while working as a heavy vehicle mechanic. Joes deceptive manner covering still waters running deep came to the attention of higher ups in the chain of command when the Nam war ended and choices were made as to what to keep, get rid of, and develop anew. Joe was wisely sent to Intelligence school and college for appropriately, a Masters degree in Organizational Development, group behavior. He had the perfect Intel cover, heavy vehicle mechanic. Joe resides in Point dIronie in San Francisco. He is a CONEHEADS NOT MY PLANET SNL Junkie, a George Carlin Junkie, a R. Crumb
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Junkie, a RENO BROO Junkie, and a Mary Hartman Mary Hartman Junkie. Joe listens to Shirley Bassey and Gerald Wilson. JOE is Quirk with poignancy. His favorite movies are 1970's Kelly's Heroes and its there's no booze, there's no broads, there's no action! And 1958's The Young Lions' [amused] Can I talk about what I did with your wife the last time I was in Berlin? Young Lions was and remains so much quirk it totally rearranged Joes self-centered head the first time he saw it. And it still does. JOE inhales marijuana through a Vapolution. Joe, equally charming, cruel and broken, is a sad bad man with a big-scarred heart, his shell-shocked sensibilities emotional instability only held in check by training and his intellect. Joe is straight from Olympus. The troops know it. He is their talisman and they will follow him anywhere. JOE drinks shaken not stirred Maker's Mark bourbon with crushed spearmint leaves or Russian River Pliny the Elder. Always armed personally with nine-round Glock 27, five-round Smith & Wesson snub nose .38 revolver, CRKT Ultima With Black Blade, Raider I Boot Knife, mace, rubber bullets, blank bullets as well as a variety of cool spy toys. Always carries around a VA stressball he inevitably squeezes. JOE, along with MORGANA, ELEKTRA, FATA MORGANA, ALICE, JIM, LANCE, and EDGAR does a daily noontime hour-and-a-half lap swim at San Francisco's North Beach Swimming Pool. Friends with George Duke, Alaura Eden, J. R. Hildebrand, Gary Fisher, Brande Roderick, Jacquie Phelan, Jonny Moseley, Tim Lincecum, Tyler Florence, Courtney Thorne-Smith, Annette Haven, Mary Magdalan, Charlie Kelly, Clint Eastwod, Gavin Newsom, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Charlie Sheen, Larry / Lana & Strix Wachowski, Charles Schwab, Karl Olson, Barry Zito, Craig Chaquico, Will Venable, Jon Fisher, James Hetfield, Prince Andrew Romanov, Theresa Sparks, and Lee Unkrich. Drives a late-model Porsche 911 Turbo S Edition 918 Spyder.

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What would Sam do? is from Anton Myrer's novel Once An Eagle published in 1968, at the height of the Vietnam War. It is a touchstone for the military professionals who devise and carry out Americas defense. According to the New York Times, Once An Eagle has worked its way over a generation into the mindset and lexicon of the American military. Named to the Marine Commandants Reading List, it is required reading for all marines, is assigned to West Point cadets, and is featured in the United States Army War Colleges annual leadership seminar. Soldiers emblazon the protagonists nameSam Damonacross their tanks, and military officers at every level make decisions by asking themselves, What would Sam do?

MARGA: During the world wide Great Depression Marga was born in Munich, Germany on December 3rd. The Munich Bavarian State Operetta recognized early in Margas childhood that she was a gifted dancer. In just one year Marga danced in more than 300 performances of Johann Strauss Die Fledermaus (The Bat). That same year, Germanys then Chancellor, Adolph Hitler, invaded Poland, drafted Margas father into the German Army over her fathers futile protestations, and attended several of Margas performances. Margas father died five months later in a Munich Army Hospital at the age of 39. He died never seeing his talented daughters performances. In January 1940 while dancing for Adolph Hitler Marga did not know then that in less then three years she would have an accident completely severing her Achilles tendon. Never again could she stand on her toes. An American air raid on Munich later destroyed the Theater. Marga married a disabled American WW II vet. Now a widow, Marga remains committed to supporting American Veterans causes. Marga is known for her thoughtfulness. She is a Silver Level ballroom dancer, polite, attentive. Her eyes flash like swords, her smile is grave and gentle. Drives a late-model Lexus CT Hybrid. She inhales marijuana through a Vapolution and drinks espresso with Kahlua, or sun ice tea with spearmint or peppermint sprigs from her garden. Fan of Bette Davis, Bette Midler, Annette Bening. Friends with Annette Bening, Phil Frank, Clint Eastwood, Maria Muldaur, Barbara Boxer, Walter Murch,
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Robin Wright Penn, Montgomery McFate, Edwin Catmull, Pernell Roberts, Sean Penn, Andy Samberg, Brenda Chapman, George Lucas, Bill Rafferty, Barry Levinson, Pat Paulsen, Don Novello, Peter Coyote, David Crosby, Bonnie Raitt, Peter Tork, David Strathairn, Huey Lewis, Lars Ulrich, Robin Wright Penn, Charlie Cunningham, Kevin Lima, David Fincher, Kathleen Quinlan, Terry McGovern, Robin Williams, Van Morrison, John Lasseter, Connie Nielsen, Scott Thunes.

ALICE: mother of KEN married to his father J. K. OLSON who she is shamelessly irretrievably in love with. ALICE lives at 2136 Great Hwy, San Francisco, California or at her Sausalito pied--terre houseboat Fountainhead moored at Sausalito Arques Marina. Air Force veteran, Viet Nam Era, E5, Bachelor's Degree in Linguistics, Masters degree in Kinesiology, both from Sonoma State University, California, charismatic, model from age six until her first pregnancy at the age of 45, brilliant, mercurial, born into privilege and wealth, exuberant, resourceful, full of promise, imperious, compassionate, intense, saturnine, has depth in her green eyes, winning grin, sensitive, catches everything, ebullient, dancing laughter, presumptuous smile, disciplined, loyal, rogue, full of gaiety, has the magic gift of the born bon vivant, shes graceful, romantic, vulnerable, apricot glow, her hair in soft, happy disarray --a woman of great passion. She is so alive, mystical moments come to life. Understands everybody. High-strung, high-maintenance, is worth it, charming, plays well with others. She seeks the far horizons and shores that once lured generations of her Italian and Austrian forebears, has close, connected, deep, educated and wealthy Italian, Austrian European cousins and Palo Alto, California American Savoy cousins, has unbounded confidence, a complete surrender to delight, believes one

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can be anything, do anything, is interesting, effective, well-adjusted, and occasionally surprising. ALICE gracefully saunters, undulates and jiggles as she moves. Her clothes are usually pot-holed and paint-smudged. She inhales marijuana through a Vapolution and drinks Ocean Spray diet 100% cranberry juice and Perrier on ice, or sun ice tea with spearmint or peppermint sprigs from her garden. ALICE, along with JOE, ELEKTRA, LANCE, FATA MORGANA, JIM, MORGANA, and EDGAR, does a daily noontime hour-and-a-half lap swim at San Francisco's North Beach Swimming Pool. Friends with Gemma Arterton, Dr. Mark Schram Christensen, Kiku Collins, Lucy Gaskell, Emanuele Filiberto, Chris Draper, Egizia Maria Carla Chiara Benedetta Lombardo di San Chirico (Anna), Ferrante Gennaro Antonio Francesco Lombardo di San Chirico (Carlo), Maria Carlotta Claude Silvia Stefania Tommasa Vittoria Lombardo di San Chirico (Elena), Dr. Lotte Holmegaard, Alison Balsom, James Spithill, Maggie Gyllenhaal, and Clint Eastwod. Drives a late-model Porsche 911 Turbo S Edition 918 Spyder. ALICE'S favorite movies are A League of Their Own, Basic Instinct, Basic Instinct 2, Body Heat, Jackie Brown, The Fountainhead, and The Unsinkable Molly Brown. First-rate Blog Opera player. A fair silver-level ballroom dancer. Accomplished card counter and Blackjack player.

CAROL: Navy veteran, retired Commander, Masters degree in South & Southeast Asian Studies from U.C. Berkeley, blend of Little Nell and Lady McBeth, brass knuckles in a velvet glove, vitriol up a lace sleeve, martial arts blackbelt, accomplished card counter and Blackjack player, Silver Level ballroom dancer, romantic. Her timing is always flawless. Has black humor, courage, nobility, honesty, and selflessness. Powerful, inspirational and unforgettable. Has the habit of of holding her
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drink in the palm of her hand. Bracing, lively and full of certainty and power. A flaming comet. JAMES is not her only lover, long or short-term. Deft, assertive. More than competent with weapons. Always armed personally with nine-round Glock 27, fiveround Smith & Wesson snub nose .38 revolver, CRKT Ultima With Black Blade, Raider I Boot Knife, mace, rubber bullets, blank bullets. Always carries around a VA stressball she inevitably squeezes. San Francisco sex clubs regular. Drinks Gundlach Bundschu Cabernet Franc or Perrier. Fan of George Carlin, Douglas Adams, Robert A. Heinlein. Friends with Gavin Newsom, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Charlie Sheen, Larry / Lana & Strix Wachowski, Charles Schwab, Karl Olson, Barry Zito, Craig Chaquico, Will Venable, Jon Fisher, James Hetfield, Prince Andrew Romanov, Theresa Sparks, and Lee Unkrich. Drives a red convertible late-model Aston Martin DBS.

JAMES: former Marine, just retired Major, a total What would Sam do? guy. Masters degree South & Southeast Asian Studies from U.C. Berkeley, charismatic, sensuous, charming, fashionable, swaggers, Silver Level ballroom dancer, his timing is always flawless, dash and honor, still gets fear shakes, romantic, puts duty, honor, and the people he commands above self-interest. Graceful, eager, consummate political animal, brilliantly advances by making the right connections behind the lines and in corridors of power, always is pushing himself up and onward, believes his life is a well-charted avenue toward power and distinction; lives on the edge, lusty, irrepressible, wellmannered, courtly, King of Hearts, obsessed with dreams of High Adventure. Has martial arts black belt. Sometimes his eyes for a second glaze over like one hit by a round. Other times a burning desperate look floods them for a couple seconds. Other times he has a brief air of
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awkward diffidence that was not excessive modesty but naked fear. For he leaped astride a tiger, and wasn't always sure where it would take him, or whether he even could ever dismount and return alive. Married to TRACY, and having long term now eight-year affair with CAROL. Listens to the Blues, Etta James, Billie Holiday, Janis Joplin, Robert Cray, Chris Isaak, Gaye Adegbalola. Driven by his own war nightmares. Accomplished card counter and Blackjack player. Has the habit of of holding his drink in the palm of his hand, been trying unsuccessfully for years to seduce ALICE. JAMES inhales marijuana through a Vapolution and drinks Russian River Pliny the Elder or shaken not stirred Maker's Mark bourbon with crushed spearmint leaves. More than competent with weapons. Always armed personally with nine-round Glock 27, five-round Smith & Wesson snub nose .38 revolver, CRKT Ultima With Black Blade, Raider I Boot Knife, mace, rubber bullets, blank bullets. Always carries around a VA stressball he inevitably squeezes. Friends with Gavin Newsom, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Charlie Sheen, Larry / Lana & Strix Wachowski, Charles Schwab, Karl Olson, Barry Zito, Craig Chaquico, Will Venable, Jon Fisher, James Hetfield, Prince Andrew Romanov, Theresa Sparks, and Lee Unkrich. San Francisco sex clubs regular. Fan of George Carlin, Douglas Adams, Robert A. Heinlein. Drives a late-model BMW Mini Cooper yellow convertible. What would Sam do? is from Anton Myrer's novel Once An Eagle published in 1968, at the height of the Vietnam War. It is a touchstone for the military professionals who devise and carry out Americas defense. According to the New York Times, Once An Eagle has worked its way over a generation into the mindset and lexicon of the American military. Named to the Commandants Reading List, it is required reading for all officers, is assigned to West Point cadets, and is featured in the United States Army War Colleges annual leadership seminar. Soldiers emblazon the protagonists name Sam Damon across their tanks, and military officers at every level make decisions by asking themselves, What would Sam do?
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TRACY: Catholic schooled including Bachelors degree in Art History from San Rafael, California Dominican University, former model, Silver Level ballroom dancer, heedless extravagance, reflective and irresponsible alike, impulsive, generous, not afraid to deal with the tender side of Marines who have not forgotten they are men, envious of privilege and wealth. Drinks a Gordon's gin Dirty Martini with a couple Piquillo Pepper Stuffed Manzanilla Olives by La Tienda. Conspicuous Consumptionist Yuppie. Drives a 1954 red kit Morgan. She inhales marijuana through a Vapolution. Friends with Isabel Allende, Tess Uriza Holthe, Joe Breeze, Martin Cruz Smith, Joyce Maynard, Don Novello, Dave Eggers, Anne Lamott, Amy Tan, Joe Eszterhas, Kay Ryan, Vendela Vida, Twinka Thiebaud, Strawberry Saroyan, Aram Saroyan, Ki Longfellow, Jason Roberts, Gary Snyder, Tom Merritt, Cerridwen Fallingstar.

J. K. OLSON: Navy veteran PO3, nine years older than his wife ALICE, messy, short, charismatic, fat, eyes speculative, Masters degree in Music, retired Band Director Redwood High School, Larkspur. Charming, insecure, talented, immature, insincere, moody, kinky, self-centered, coarse, sensuous, sarcastic, obsessed with controlling others, feels of solid land and rolling sea, cycle of desire and tyranny, passive aggressive, tense, imaginative, solemn, raffish, impulsive, envious of privilege and wealth, a merry-go-round always on the verge of settling down, elitist, self-dramatizing selfish, tendency to look like a sullen child who had been thwarted, oscillates rapidly through all kinds of moods, shirks his responsibility to a defiant son and wife.
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Knows temptation and corruption well and dreams sought then, and the blunders committed in their pursuit, treacherous, arrogant, subdued warmth, junk food junkie, high strung, manic depressive, conflicted, mercurial, capricious, cynic, cross dresser, leather vinyl rubber bondage mirror fetishes, in need of a haircut, ballroom dance instructor, sailor, in scruffy loafers, fat socks, sardonic, wears a wrinkled striped button down collar shirt, has his sleeves rolled up his forearms, in rumpled, dark, pleated and cuffed trousers too big for him, and a hip length black leather aviator jacket, also too large. Anti-children racist anti-Semitic anti-gay homophobic J. K. OLSON lives at equally anti-children racist anti-Semitic anti-gay homophobic senior-only trailer park Marin Valley Mobile Country Club in Novato, California since he was 55 when he abandoned his then 4 1/2 month pregnant 45 year old wife Alice after stealing $3 million. He is on the Board of Directors of the Marin Valley Mobile Country Club as the Treasurer. Drives a restored 1985 Corvette he keeps up himself-- it shows. Is a top-of-the-game Blog Opera player. San Francisco sex clubs regular. Does not play well with others. Started out as a cool Reg Blank ended up a Conspicuous Consumption Yuppie. Drinks Gundlach Bundschu Cabernet Franc or diet Pepsi. Teaches ballroom dance at the Novato Recreation Department.

Conspicuous consumption is extravagant and ostentatious expenditure. Conspicuous consumption is meant not to satisfy any physical need, but rather to gratify the psychological craving for status or the favorable opinion of others. The term was first used by the US sociologist and
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economist Thorstein Bunde Veblen (1857-1929) in his 1899 book 'The Theory Of The Leisure Class. A Yuppie is a Hippie who sold out and said 'yup' to 'the man'.

LANCE: Lives at 146 Marina Vista Ave, Larkspur, Marin County, California 94939, and keeps at The Giger Building his San Francisco pied a terre, an 800 s.f dark hardwood walnut / mahogany floor studio with cedar and mirrored shelved walk-in closet with brushed nickel mirrored wardrobe doors and a 1 and a 1/2 bath as his San Francisco pied a terre penthouse. Never married Twin Cities Police officer with comfortable vampire erotica fetishes. Does his job well, his excellance is for his fetish life.

Vegan, well-adjusted, metrosexual, pot user, wiry, lithe, confident, easygoing, trim, charming, kick-boxer, sardonic, Bronze ballroom dancer. Bachelors degree in Museum Studies from San Francisco State University. Is part time security at the de Young Museum. Always armed personally with nine-round Glock 27, five-round Smith & Wesson snub nose .38 revolver, CRKT Ultima With Black Blade, Raider I Boot Knife, mace, rubber bullets, blank bullets. Is a charisma and
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charm top-of-the-game Blog Opera player. Has a Cary Grant manner, timing and style about him. Speaks fluent French. LANCE is known for his preference for trim dominant older women with elegant clothes who showed their appreciation of his gifts and talents --which are large and considerable as he's well endowed. San Francisco sex clubs regular where he works security three nights a week at GIGER, Thursdays 5 pm to 11 pm Fridays, and Saturdays 7 pm to 2 am. He is one of the owners of GIGER. Plays well with others. Has ancient eyes. Has the Giger habit of holding his drink in the palm of his hand. Accomplished card counter and Blackjack player. Cary Grant, George Carlin, Douglas Adams, Robert A. Heinlein fan. Aquarius, beautifully tatooed. LANCE'S Aquarian tattoo on his left arm ripples over his muscles. In love with ALICE. LANCE listens to Miles Davis, Stan Kenton, Henry Mancini, Chuck Mangione Jazz. Drives a DUCATI MOTORCYCLE. He inhales marijuana through a Vapolution and drinks Perrier. Friends with George Duke, Alaura Eden, J. R. Hildebrand, Gary Fisher, Brande Roderick, Jacquie Phelan, Jonny Moseley, Tim Lincecum, Tyler Florence, Courtney ThorneSmith, Annette Haven, Mary Magdalan, Charlie Kelly, Kiku Collins, and Alison Balsom. LANCE, along with JOE, ELEKTRA, ALICE, FATA MORGANA, JIM, MORGANA, and EDGAR, does a daily noontime hourand-a-half lap swim at San Francisco's North Beach Swimming Pool.

EDGAR: San Franciscan. Never married writer and Augmeneter with comfortable Gothic and vampire erotica fetishes. Writes and plays Blog Opera, an adaptation of Augmented Reality. Trim, well-adjusted, good-looking, safe, wears Giorgio Armani suits, Gucci shoes and Frank Sinatra fedoras: a face urban, edged, shadowed, he's artistic, Vegan, metrosexual, pot user, hacker, Masters degree in
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Computer Science from University of San Francisco so uses his software code-writing skills to also write Blog Opera augumented reality Gothic and vampire erotica. Is a charisma and charm top-of-the-game Blog Opera player. EDGAR's a professional liar who spends most of his waking hours dwelling on his lies for his writing, watching, observing-- a voyeur. He draws and writes visionary hallucinogenic William Gibson, William Blake, Jack Kerouac, Allen Ginsberg, Friedrich Nietzsche, Arthur Rimbaud, Norman Mailer, Antonin Artaud, mythological works, shamanistic books, he is a well read mind of stolen ideas. Has dry humor. Speaks fluent Spanish. Accomplished amateur pianist and astronomer. San Francisco sex clubs regular where he works security three nights a week at GIGER Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays 5 pm to 11 pm. One of the owners of GIGER and The Giger Building where he lives on its top floor EDGAR lives in a 2 bedroom each with cedar and mirrored shelved walk-in closet with brushed nickel mirrored wardrobe doors and 2 and a 1/2 baths in a 1,700 s.f dark hardwood walnut / mahogany floor unit. Has martial arts blackbelt. Plays well with others. Sensuous eyes, meditative lips, haunting story teller, a man full and bold wih easy confidence and maintaining his sanity through his words and his Silver Level ballroom dancing. A dramatic presence, impeccably dressed and tailored, lithe, he knows the weight of his words and software code. Has the Giger habit of holding his drink in the palm of his hand. Accomplished card counter and Blackjack player. In love with ALICE. EDGAR's relationaship with people is founded on mutual decent respect for the other's individulaism and personal dignity. Jim Morrison and The Doors fan. Drives a burgandy Lexus CT Hybrid. He inhales marijuana through a Vapolution and drinks espresso with Kahlua, or sun ice tea with spearmint or peppermint sprigs from his garden. Friends with Isabel
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Allende, Tess Uriza Holthe, Joe Breeze, Martin Cruz Smith, Joyce Maynard, Don Novello, Dave Eggers, Anne Lamott, Amy Tan, Joe Eszterhas, Kay Ryan, Vendela Vida, Twinka Thiebaud, Strawberry Saroyan, Aram Saroyan, Ki Longfellow, Jason Roberts, Gary Snyder, Tom Merritt, Cerridwen Fallingstar. EDGAR, along with JOE, ELEKTRA, LANCE, FATA MORGANA, JIM, MORGANA, and ALICE, does a daily noontime hour-and-a-half lap swim at San Francisco's North Beach Swimming Pool.

ELEKTRA: San Franciscan, comfortable Dominatrix with a Master of Arts in Sexuality Studies from San Francisco State University. Has a part time checker gig at the Marina Safeway, part time bartender GIGER and another gig as part time clerk at Good Vibrations. Well-adjusted. Married to a San Francisco judge. Spoiled. She has control of the room: she looks from one man to the other as she speaks. Adult eyes, eerie, powerful, seductive. San Francisco sex clubs regular where she also bartends three nights a week at GIGER Wednesdays and Thursdays 5 pm to 11 pm, and Fridays 7 pm to 2 am. One of the owners of GIGER and The Giger Building where she and her family live on its top floor in a 3 bedroom each with cedar and mirrored shelved walk-in closet with brushed nickel mirrored wardrobe doors and 3 and a 1/2 baths in a 5,000 s.f. dark hardwood walnut / mahogany floor unit. Plays well with others, Silver level ballroom dancer. Methodical. Accomplished card counter and Blackjack player. She looks like a pampered beautiful Persian cat with a look at men like a cat a bird. Has three grown children, two girls, HELEN, the oldest and GALADRIEL, the middle and a boy, THOR, the youngest, and all from different fathers. ELEKTRA'S children work for CHEF as her First Lieutenants in the Giger kitchen; one for each shift, 7 am - 2 pm Apple Shift HELEN, 1 pm 8 pm Basil Shift GALADRIEL, 7 pm - 2 am Curry Shift THOR. Therre is a 1 am 8 am Sage Shift. She knows that knights errant spend their nights erring. She expects it. It has always been so, un droit de la vocation and necessary. Blog Opera Gamer First Class. A walking game. Cheats always, forces you where she
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wants you, sends you like any mark anxious for the best of ass or sass, leaves you to cool your heels, spanks you back into the game and your altered fate-and made you like it. Handy with a whip. She's never fussy about her methods. She knows what she's worth. Has the Giger habit of holding her drink in the palm of her hand. ELEKTRA is the sort of sophisticated and unshockable who could invite an earthquake in for tea and a joint. Drives a late-model Porsche 911 Turbo S Edition 918 Spyder. ELEKTRA's motto is you don't have any right to opinions on things until you know something about them. Listens to Jefferson Airplane, Jim Morrison and The Doors, Pat Benatar, Tina Turner, Grace Jones. Fan of George Carlin, Douglas Adams, Robert A. Heinlein. Friends with Gavin Newsom, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Charlie Sheen, Larry / Lana & Strix Wachowski, Charles Schwab, Karl Olson, Barry Zito, Craig Chaquico, Will Venable, Jon Fisher, James Hetfield, Prince Andrew Romanov, Theresa Sparks, and Lee Unkrich. ELEKTRA inhales marijuana through a Vapolution and drinks Bundschu Cabernet Franc, or sun ice tea with spearmint or peppermint sprigs from her garden. ELEKTRA, along with JOE, LANCE, FATA MORGANA, JIM, MORGANA, and EDGAR, does a daily noontime hour-and-a-half lap swim at San Francisco's North Beach Swimming Pool. ELEKTRA has been an every Sunday Golden Gate Park roller skater 2:30 to 4 pm since she was six years old.

FATA MORGANA: Lives in Sausalito, Marin County, California USA on a houseboat Savvy, mate at Sausalito Shipyard & Marina formally Arques Shipyard & Marina. 2350 Marinship Way (access on Road 3) Sausalito, just north of the San Francisco Golden Gate Bridge. Well-adjusted, charismatic and married to a Marin County Supervisor. Full time bartender at GIGER 7 pm to 2 am Fridays and Saturdays, 6 pm to 11 pm Sundays, Mondays, Tuedays,
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Wednesdays, and Thursdays. One of the owners of GIGER and The Giger Building. She is the building and business operating manager for her five GIGER partners. A fata morgana is the most bizarre of superior images. There is something unnerving about watching reality bend before ones eyes. There is what one knows to be true, and that which one can see through an eye or telephoto lens or binoculars with Fata Morgana, the three are difficult to reconcile. Something is happening on the mind's horizon. While someone suffering from the madness of love exhaustion could, however unlikely it may seem, conceivably mistake deception for love. Mirages cannot be held in ones hand they appear some distance away, and like rainbows can only be followed, never reached. Mirages, from the Latin mirare, meaning to look at, to wonder at, are natural optical phenomena they are real, objective events, that only cause problems for us when we interpret them incorrectly. They are formed by the bending, or refracting of LED LIGHT rays through layers of air of differing temperatures, a projection giving a shimmering wet appearance and appear thus giving the impression that they are closer than they really are. Makes far-a-way objects seems to tower in. Then there are Fata Morgana an Italian term referencing Morgan le Fay, the elfin, shape-shifting half-sister of King Arthur. In our context, the Fata Morgana is also a complicated, rapidly changing superior mirage, a comfortable Gothic Dominatrix that display inverted objects, stretched landscapes and other weirdness of smoke and mirrors. Mirages, these fata morganas, have long left us spellbound. Their power to play tricks on our minds endlessly fascinates. Uses unlit cigarettes (doesn't smoke) like her fedoras. Has Master of Arts in Drama from San Francisco State University. Fata Morgana's motto is As a human being do be more than an amateur at it. Fan of Bette Davis, Bette
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Midler, Annette Bening. Friends with Annette Bening, Phil Frank, Clint Eastwood, Maria Muldaur, Barbara Boxer, Walter Murch, Robin Wright Penn, Montgomery McFate, Edwin Catmull, Pernell Roberts, Sean Penn, Andy Samberg, Brenda Chapman, George Lucas, Bill Rafferty, Barry Levinson, Pat Paulsen, Don Novello, Peter Coyote, David Crosby, Bonnie Raitt, Peter Tork, David Strathairn, Huey Lewis, Lars Ulrich, Robin Wright Penn, Charlie Cunningham, Kevin Lima, David Fincher, Kathleen Quinlan, Terry McGovern, Robin Williams, Van Morrison, John Lasseter, Connie Nielsen, Scott Thunes. Has a refined, classically beautiful face. She is not knockout gorgeous; there is a smoky kind of sensuousness about her. She is poised, cool, in complete command of herself, and spoiled. San Francisco sex clubs regular. Plays well with others. Drives a 1954 red kit Morgan. Silver level ballroom dancer. Has the Giger habit of holding her drink in the palm of her hand. Accomplished card counter and Blackjack player. Knobby knees, stringy, foal gawkiness, a gardener so usually has a peeling sunburn, scratches, bruises and an understandable amount of dirt under her nails. Listens to the Blues, Etta James, Billie Holiday, Janis Joplin, Robert Cray, Chris Isaak, Gaye Adegbalola. She inhales marijuana through a Vapolution and drinks Kahlua on ice, or sun ice tea with spearmint or peppermint sprigs from their garden. FATA MORGANA, along with JOE, ELEKTRA, LANCE, ALICE, JIM, MORGANA, and EDGAR, does a daily noontime hour-and-a-half lap swim at San Francisco's North Beach Swimming Pool. First-rate Blog Opera player.

JIM: Has that 'oh so self-important Marin attitude 'cause he's got a Marin address. Is a charisma and charm top-of-the-game Blog Opera player. Jim is a dark Marinite, a creature of the physical, seeks lots of sex. Lives at equally anti-children racist antiSemitic anti-gay homophobic White Supremacist senior-only trailer park Marin Valley Mobile Country Club in Novato, California since he was 55. Holds martial arts Black Belt. More than competent
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with weapons. Always armed personally with nine-round Glock 27 in a shoulder holster, five-round Smith & Wesson snub nose .38 revolver strapped to his calf, CRKT Ultima With Black Blade strapped to his other calf, Raider I Boot Knife, mace, rubber bullets, blank bullets. Abused as a child. Happily drafted by Army out of high school, later General Discharge for killings without orders. Well-endowed, several times divorced. Abusive, stalker, Peeping Tom, drinker, smoker, self-indulgent, White Supremacist, likes to wear women's hot pink Jockey string bikini panties and often leisurely drops his circa 1976 Levi's 501 white boot cut button fly jeans to tuck in his shirt, JIM'S Dead Men Tell No Tales tattoo on one arm and his Pirate Ship on his other arm ripple over his muscles, excommunicated Mormon, pirate tattooed, ballroom dance troller, drugstore cowboy in high heeled steel-toed boots with hollow heels, California licensed gun dealer and California licensed private investigator / bounty hunter, has women's high heel fetish. Libertarian. Drives a restored grey and blue 1981 El Camino he keeps up himself. Always carries around a VA stressball he inevitably squeezes. San Francisco sex clubs regular. One of the owners of GIGER and The Giger Building. Has a storm in his mind. Does not always play well with others. Accomplished card counter and Blackjack player. Listens to Toby Keith and Gary Allan. Into Quentin Tarantino's video Chicks With Guns. In love with ALICE who he has on a pedastal. Has the Giger habit of holding his drink in the palm of his hand. Friends with Michael Savage. Regularly did contract work for ALARIC / STEVE SCHOONOVER / TWEEDLEDUM / MARIN PSYCHO and MICHAEL B. SAMUELS / TWEEDLEDEE till their deaths.
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JIM inhales marijuana through a Vapolution and drinks Russian River Pliny the Elder or shaken not stirred Maker's Mark bourbon with crushed spearmint leaves. JIM, along with ELEKTRA, LANCE, FATA MORGANA, ALICE, and EDGAR, does a daily noontime hour-and-a-half lap swim at San Francisco's North Beach Swimming Pool . JIM is a first-rate Blog Opera player.

MORGANA aka THAT LADY: Air Force veteran, Viet Nam Era, E3, Doctorate, former model, elegant, creative intelligence, graceful, usually has smudges of colorful paint somewhere on her, and her clothes that also have potholes in them, Catholic schooled, alert, proud, gleaming, every inch a queen, esthete, gracious, sardonic, swimmer, high-style, sentimental, charming, vivid, intoxicating. Drives a red kit 1954 Morgan. When she smiles at you, you feel the strength of charisma and charm. She holds you with her smile until shes had enough. She had looked into you, measures your reactions while you are left to try to get her to smile at you again. She is a falcon and bird of paradise both. Women are comfortable around MORGANA. Men see MORGANA as some sort of ideal they strive to impress and protect. In the last 30 years, the only man she had ever been connected with is her husband. She still has fun lusting from afar though. Her voice is aged, confident and rich, deserving of patronage. MORGANA, along with JOE, ELEKTRA, FATA MORGANA, LANCE, EDGAR, and JIM does a daily noontime hour-and-a-half lap swim at San Francisco's North Beach Swimming Pool. She inhales marijuana through a Vapolution and drinks espresso with Kahlua, or sun ice tea with spearmint or peppermint sprigs from her garden. Friends with Isabel Allende, Tess Uriza Holthe, Joe Breeze, Martin Cruz Smith, Joyce Maynard, Don Novello, Dave Eggers, Anne
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Lamott, Amy Tan, Joe Eszterhas, Kay Ryan, Vendela Vida, Twinka Thiebaud, Strawberry Saroyan, Aram Saroyan, Ki Longfellow, Jason Roberts, Gary Snyder, Tom Merritt, Cerridwen Fallingstar Annette Bening, Phil Frank, Clint Eastwood, Maria Muldaur, Barbara Boxer, Walter Murch, Robin Wright Penn, Montgomery McFate, Edwin Catmull, Pernell Roberts, Sean Penn, Andy Samberg, Brenda Chapman, George Lucas, Bill Rafferty, Barry Levinson, Pat Paulsen, Don Novello, Peter Coyote, David Crosby, Bonnie Raitt, Peter Tork, David Strathairn, Huey Lewis, Lars Ulrich, Robin Wright Penn, Charlie Cunningham, Kevin Lima, David Fincher, Kathleen Quinlan, Terry McGovern, Robin Williams, Van Morrison, John Lasseter, Connie Nielsen, and Scott Thunes. A graduate of College of Marin then Sonoma State University, California USA in the middle of The American Wine Country, MORGANA is A Marin County Volunteer of the Year, founding board member North Bay Multimedia Association, Home Designer, Blogger, Gardener, Time Traveler, Swimmer, Veteran, Friend, Real Estate Authority, Ballroom Dancer, Color Junkie, Bon vivant, Professor, Author, and Landlord Extraordinaire aka opinionated.

DIRECTOR W. Allen Taylor: is an actor, writer, director and teacher of theater arts at the College of Marin.

COSTUME DESIGNER Mia Baxter: been a part of Marin Theater Company's production team since 2008. Most recently, she has designed props and costumes for productions at Aurora Theatre Company, Cal Shakes, A.C.T. Conservatory and SF Playhouse. She has also worked with The Jewish Theatre, Sacramento Opera, Music Circus, Word for Word, Teatro Esperanza and Intersection for the Arts. She is an alumni of San Francisco State University.

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Diane Keaton as JOAN WESTIN: An eccentric free spirited feminist born 2:49 a.m. PST January 5, 1943 Los Angeles, California, USA. A 1960 graduate of Santa Ana High School in Santa Ana, California. "The woman in a world of men." Beautiful, selfish, funny, insecure, and driven. Married right out of high school to high school sweetheart she met when they were both in third grade, had open marriage. Husband went onto become a successful plumber, later joining Marin Builders Association. Moved to Novato, California in 1972 after the subsequent manhunt and trial of UCLA professor Angela Davis from the events of August 7, 1970, when Jonathan Jackson attempted to negotiate the freedom of the Soledad Brothers (which included his older brother George). It ended up with the kidnapping of Marin County Superior Court judge Harold Haley, Marin County Deputy District Attorney Gary Thomas and jurors Maria Elena Graham, Doris Whitmer, and Joyce Rodoni from the Marin County Civic Center in San Rafael, California. The resulting shootout, according to one of the hostages was first initiated by police, then according to several witnesses, again by the police a short while later, left four men dead, including both Jackson and Judge Haley. Two others were wounded. Hostage Deputy District Attorney Gary Thomas was seriously wounded in his back, leaving him wheelchair bound. Juror and hostage Maria Elena Graham suffered a wound to her arm. This event galvanized Joan and her husband into political activism, starting with their 1972 move to Marin, becoming life members of the Marin History Museum, and their immediate support of the Democrat Barbara Boxer campaign challenging incumbent and friend Peter Arrigoni for the Marin County Board of Supervisors seat. Now age 69, no children, widowed at age 51 in 1994 by a drunk driver running a red light killing her husband as he was walking back to his truck from Novato Builders Supply at 800 Sweetser Ave, Novato, California.
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Draws hers and deceased husband's Social Security. Lives at Marin County at Marin Valley Mobile Country Club in Novato, California. Roommate deal with JIM. In exchange for rent of private bedroom and bath with fullhouse privileges and a parking space, she buys food and household items, cooks and cleans for JIM and, pays the gas, water and electricity at JIM'S trailer. She has been exploring mediums as she finds her voice. She has been derisively attacked as an amateur, code word for 'not a gatekeeper'. She has been told by Republicans she has a stupid opinion or an opinion she should keep to myself, in other words, to stop complaining. Well, as she herself says, she is not going to stop complaining. In fact, she will continue to make her voice seen and heard. Six months after her husband died, in her loneliness she started ballroom dance lessons which led to an affair with the instructor, married J. K. OLSON, that went on for four years; ended badly, very badly, for her emotionally and financially. She got pregnant, her only pregnancy, with twins, had an abortion. Frequently wears gloves, and white clothes. Licensed California real estate agent since 1972. Now with Century 21 Northbay Alliance at 823 Grant Ave., #C, Novato, CA 94945, 415-898-4500. While her husband was alive, together they renovated, remodeled and redesigned 22 Marin County homes. Has struggled with Bulimia all her adult life. Is an accomplished amateur photgrapher. Has passion, hope and a self-deprecating sense of humor. Drives a pearl colored 2011 Lexus CT Hybrid.

Katie Holmes as JESSICA FREITAS-HAMILTON, RN, MS: Of Portuguese heritage, descended from 1850's Marin County dairy farmers who to Northern California during its Gold Rush. Born 1978 at Marin General, began working at Marin General Hospital at age 17. Now a Registered Nurse who works in the Marin General Emergency Room. Although Catholic schooled including pre-K through 12 at San Domenico School and, Bachelors degree in Art History and Masters degree in Nursing both from San Rafael, California Dominican University, now secular. She is working on her Ed.D. doctorate at University of San Francisco as she plans to teach after she retires from Marin General Hospital. Widow, husband eleven years older, a Navy
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Lieutenant Commander, killed in Iraq in 2002 when his plane was shot down three weeks after their marriage and while she was in college. She never remarried, no children, plans for neither. Part-time model and part-time actress with Sausalito, California's Samantha Paris Casting. Hobbies are ballroom dancing and Kung Fu; Silver Level ballroom dancer, holds Black Belt from 10000 VICTORIES at 167 Tunstead Ave. San Anselmo, Marin County, California. She is heedless extravagance, reflective and irresponsible alike, impulsive, generous, envious of privilege and wealth. Drinks a Jean-Marc XO vodka Dirty Martini with a couple Piquillo Pepper Stuffed Manzanilla Olives by La Tienda. Drives a 1954 red kit Morgan. She inhales marijuana through a Vapolution. Friends with LANCE, Isabel Allende, Tess Uriza Holthe, Joe Breeze, Martin Cruz Smith, Joyce Maynard, Don Novello, Dave Eggers, Anne Lamott, Amy Tan, Joe Eszterhas, Kay Ryan, Vendela Vida, Twinka Thiebaud, Strawberry Saroyan, Aram Saroyan, Ki Longfellow, Jason Roberts, Gary Snyder, Tom Merritt, Cerridwen Fallingstar.

PETER DINKLAGE as himself

Pacing
Slow, languid, undulates, jiggles, long beats of silence with body language, costumes, music, and eyes telling the story, ebbs and flows, lazy backwaters, deliberate, savored, everything's sipped not chugged, drawn out, nuances, sway, trances, thoughtful, all the time in the world, rhythmic.

Acts & Scenes


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Act I Scene One - The world is full of girls like me Act II Scene One - It's not my mind that needs to change Act II Scene Two All choked up

Opening: Start MUSIC The Giger Chronicles Theme Song Herb Alpert Behind the Rain @

http://www.myspace.com/herbalpert/music/songs/behind-the-rain-albumversion-285816. LIGHT on to HERB ALPERT performing. HERB ALPERT PERFORMANCE ends, LIGHTS down on HERB APERT who exits. Act I Scene One - The world is full of girls like me. End MUSIC. Start MUSIC Tanya Tucker's Everything That You Want @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zbNX3G7OCsY. LIGHTS slowly on TANYA TUCKER and CURTAIN opens to TANYA TUCKER performing off to the side as the scene opens to exterior Margaret Todd Senior Center parking lot, City of Novato, California. The time is 8:12 p.m. Saturday, August 25, 2012. It is a sunny 72 degrees, the wind is WSW at 10 to 15 mph. The humidity is 50 percent. JOE, JIM, JOAN WESTIN and J. K. OLSON, Marin Valley Mobile Country Club Director and Treasurer, stand in the MARGARET TODD SENIOR CENTER parking lot. JOE, cool and unruffled in Chrome Mirrored Aviator sunglasses, wears custom tailored British Khaki Brooks Brothers Elliot Advantage Chinos, dark blue loafers, dark blue thin socks, with a square cut dark blue, dark yellow, dark orange short-sleeve Hawaiian shirt worn out, and a holster and nine-round Glock 27 on his hip. He has a toothpick in his mouth. OLSON is in need of a haircut, wears scruffy
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loafers, fat socks, a wrinkled striped button down collar shirt, in rumpled, dark, pleated and cuffed trousers too big for him, and a hip length black leather aviator jacket, also too large. The music comes from the MARGARET TODD SENIOR CENTER where a City of Novato ballroom dance is going on. LANCE'S late-model DUCATI MOTORCYCLE is parked in the MARGARET TODD SENIOR CENTER parking lot, along with JOE, ELEKTRA and ALICE'S late-model Porsche 911 Turbo S Edition 918 Spyders, JIM'S beautifully restored grey and blue 1981 El Camino, MARGA, EDGAR and JOAN WESTIN'S late-model Lexus CT Hybrids, TRACY, JESSICA FREITASHAMILTON, MORGANA, and FATA MORGANA'S kit red 1954 Morgans, JAMES' late-model BMW Mini Cooper yellow convertible, CAROL'S red convertible late-model Aston Martin DBS, and J. K. OLSON'S 1985 Corvette he keeps up himself and it shows. OLSON'S right arm is only fifty percent of the use it was before his son, who he had abandoned before birth, tracked him down and shot him six months earlier. J. K. OLSON puts JOAN WESTIN up against her car, a pearl colored late-model Lexus CT Hybrid. She struggles, breaks away from OLSON, he roughly grabs her, pulls her back, and presses her back against her parked car.) JOAN WESTIN as played by Diane Keaton No! Stop! (JIM watches JOE, OLSON and JOAN. JOE has a toothpick in his mouth, he squeezes a VA stressball as he watches OLSON and JOAN, and wonders whether or not he should he get involved. JIM adjusts a gun holster-strapped to his left calf with a five-round Smith & Wesson snub nose .38 revolver) in it, looks around as he adjusts a CRKT Ultima With Black Blade and Raider I Boot Knife, holster-strapped to his right calf. Then OLSON hauls back and slaps JOAN across her face.) JOAN WESTIN as played by Diane Keaton
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No! Stop! Stop! (Now, JOE feels he has no choice. He drops the toothpick and VA stressball to the ground, moves calmly to JOAN'S rescue. JOE professionally pulls OLSON off JOAN; JOE punches OLSON in the stomach. OLSON goes down hard. Terrified and hurt, JOAN leans against her car for support. OLSON comes up on one knee, raises his head, pants hard. He glares at JOE. JOE stands by calmly -- what's OLSON'S next move? OLSON puts a hand to his stomach. JOE'S ready for the worst. But OLSON staggers up and heads off towards car, the 1985 Corvette. Fight's over. JOE turns away from OLSON and comforts JOAN. OLSON gets into his 1985 Corvette, on come the lights, he starts the engine, puts it in drive, and speeds toward JOE and JOAN, who move aside. OLSON still nearly runs them down. JOE and JOAN watch as the speeding 1985 Corvette disappears.) JOAN WESTIN as played by Diane Keaton Please, ... no police, and don't tell Alice. (LANCE, ELEKTRA, ALICE, FATA MORGANA, MORGANA, TRACY, MARGA, CAROL, JESSICA FREITAS-HAMILTON, EDGAR, and JAMES step out of the MARGARET TODD SENIOR CENTER. JIM squeezes a VA stressball as he moves towards them, they spot him, he leans his head towards JOE and JOAN, then walks towards JOE and JOAN. LANCE, ELEKTRA, ALICE, FATA MORGANA, MORGANA, TRACY, MARGA, CAROL, JESSI, EDGAR, and JAMES walk towards JOE and JOAN.) JOAN WESTIN as played by Diane Keaton

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(wry through now red lips and cheeks beginning to swell as she leans up against JOE) Ballroom dance is not as gloriously depicted on Dancing With The Stars. (JOE motions JESSI closer. JESSI steps forward, notices JOAN'S injuries. JOE steps over and picks up his VA stressball and begins to squeeze it.) JESSICA FREITAS-HAMILTON, RN, MS as played by Katie Holmes Joan, you need checked for injuries. You okay with me doing that? (JOAN nods yes, and JESSI begins an exam) Start MUSIC Billie Holiday's Comes Love @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6FrwC0TsIvE. LIGHTS slowly on BILLIE HOLIDAY COVER performing. ELEKTRA as played by Frances Fisher Ballroom dances dirty little secret, Cherie, is that men do ballroom dance for sex and money and women do it to get a husband. FATA MORGANA as played by Joanna Lumley (dry) With more than a dozen women for every male, the odds favor the men.
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ALICE as played by Lucy Lawless (glances at JOAN as she winces through JESSI'S exam, then murmers) Happened to me. Men quickly figure it out and soon sleep with every woman there, successfully playing on her hopes of snagging a husband. CAROL as played by Kristin Davis Thats not just the single men, so do the married men. Like a condemned woman, she seizes for her hope any man. Therefore, women advertise that if a man doesnt have something nice to say about his wife, come dance with me. JAMES as played by Ryan Reynolds (matter-of-fact) The instructors never teach ballroom dance. Instead, they only teach the men and women to take more lessons. MARGA as played by Charlotte Rampling The male instructors have the added benefit to the sex they get of also being paid for their lessons. Men quickly learn to practice with the women. JESSICA FREITAS-HAMILTON, RN, MS as played by Katie Holmes
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The result is the incident of sexually transmitted diseases is extraordinarily high in the ballroom dance world. JOAN WESTIN as played by Diane Keaton (wistful) The world is full of girls like me. EDGAR as played by Matt Smith Olson clearly went too far this time Once is a happenstance. Dos veces es una coincidencia. The third time it's enemy action. LANCE as played by Jamie Bell (LANCE'S Aquarian tattoo on his left arm ripples over his muscles) Another result is because ballroom dance attracts male sexual predators, they prey on the women desperate for a husband. Therefore, there is a high level of physical and emotional abuse in relationships with a man who ballroom dances. Savvy, mate? Start MUSIC Peggy Lee's I'm A Woman @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=obUTg6vkdpk. LIGHTS slowly on PEGGY LEE COVER performing. TRACY as played by Barbara Hershey
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(looks at JOAN) Men are never as good of a dancer as the women because they know they do not have to be. JOE as played by Morgan Freeman (He has a toothpick in his mouth) Women who marry a man they meet in the ballroom dance world think they have won a victory. However, the women soon find it was a Pyrrhic one. First, if he does marry one of the women dancers, he still sleeps around. Second, because he knows how desperate the women are for a husband, and that women literally run up to the men to dance with them, he knows he can get away with mistreatment to the women. Third, men in the ballroom dance world usually have secrets. ELEKTRA as played by Frances Fisher (soft) Like theyre married, sometimes twice at the same time. Alternatively, theyre a cross-dresser (ya think with the wardrobe and those costumes!) Or, theyre bisexual. Or, theyre gay. Or yes, they live in some rich place, but forget to
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tell her on a boat, a very small one, or in a trailer. JOE as played by Morgan Freeman Fourth, men who have figured out the benefits of the ballroom dance racket will commit Elder Abuse on the widows and single women by isolating her. JIM as played by Dwight Yoakum (JIM leisurely drops his white Levi 501 boot-cut button-fly jeans revealing he's wearing women's hot pink Jockey string bikini panties, then tucks in his shirt, pulls up his white Levi 501 boot-cut button-fly jeans, and buttons himself up. JIM'S Dead Men Tell No Tales tattoo on one arm and his Pirate Ship on his other arm ripple over his muscles. He squeezes a VA stressball ) They will flatter her, all the while fleecing her out of every dime as she pays for everything. JOAN WESTIN as played by Diane Keaton (voice of experience) First, she pays for his dance shoes. Next, its his dance lessons. Then its his wardrobe. Then hes borrowing money from her. He buys her gifts. ALICE as played by Lucy Lawless (voice of experience)

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Too late she finds out he charged it to her account. Then he moves in with her but she pays for everything. Soon he gets her to elope to oh so romantic Lake Tahoe there getting married with a Confidential Marriage Certificate, a dubious offer at best and a hollow victory for her. JOAN WESTIN as played by Diane Keaton (voice of experience) She then puts his name on the free and clear house(s) and car(s) and the bank account(s). ALICE as played by Lucy Lawless (angry) Then starts her downward slide. The now former dance partners square off as he then divorces her. He gets half of everything as she co-mingled everything into community property. JOAN WESTIN as played by Diane Keaton (angry) More often than not, he even gets alimony. All along, hes been sleeping around by saying his wife just doesnt support his dancing; successfully repeating his pattern time and again.
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ALICE as played by Lucy Lawless (angry) Then starts her downward slide. The now former dance partners square off as he then divorces her. He gets half of everything as she co-mingled everything into community property. ALICE as played by Lucy Lawless (angry) Then hes on to his next victim, who hes already had a covert operation going with. JOAN WESTIN as played by Diane Keaton (angry) So women, do ballroom dance and youll get your heart broke, your bank account emptied, broken bones and teeth, sexual diseases, and lose your home and future. Men, run, do not walk, to the nearest ballroom dance. Sex, money and never having to work again is your reward. Start MUSIC The Pretenders' Thin Line Between Love and Hate @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4pCCdclkdLY. LIGHTS slowly on The Pretenders as they perform. MUSIC ends. CURTAIN closes. End of Act I Scene One.
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Act II Scene One - It's not my mind that needs to change. Start MUSIC Forester Sisters' Men @ http://www.youtube.com/watch? v=6DI0Z2x_xZE. CURTAIN opens onto interior MARGARET TODD SENIOR CENTER, City of Novato, California. LIGHTS slowly on FORESTER SISTERS performing. On set are J. K. OLSON, JOE, JOAN WESTIN, JIM, LANCE, ELEKTRA, ALICE, FATA MORGANA, MORGANA, TRACY, MARGA, CAROL, JESSICA FREITAS-HAMILTON, EDGAR, JAMES, PETER DINKLAGE as himself, and EXTRAS. JOE, JOAN WESTIN, JIM, LANCE, ELEKTRA, ALICE, FATA MORGANA, MORGANA, TRACY, MARGA, CAROL, JESSICA FREITAS-HAMILTON, EDGAR, and JAMES sit at tables. PETER DINKLAGE as himself stands with the EXTRAS in front of OLSON. There are 11 EXTRAS, all obese, white and elderly. 9 are women, 2 are men; most who reek of cigarette or cigar smoke, and all of various alcohols, stand in front of OLSON. OLSON is teaching PETER and the EXTRAS Beginning West Coast Swing. OLSON is in need of a haircut, wears scruffy loafers, fat socks, a wrinkled striped button down collar shirt, in rumpled, dark, pleated and cuffed trousers too big for him. OLSON'S right arm is only fifty percent of the use it was before his elevenyear-old son, who he had abandoned before birth, tracked him down and shot him six months earlier. It is Sunday afternoon, September 2, 2012. JOE and JIM each squeeze a VA stressball. There is a briefcase at JOE'S side. Jim wears Wiley X Active Series Combat sunglasses. EDGAR wears original Ray-Ban Wayfarer sunglasses, an L.L. Bean nonwrinkle navy blazer, pink shirt, tan-and-blue bow tie, tailored
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tan slacks, dark brown belt, light brown thin socks, and brown loafers. EDGAR strokes a throwing knife against a leather strap. There is a shoulder bag at EDGAR'S side. ELEKTRA wears a long rust, yellow, red, orange, and black summer skirt to her ankles, a long-sleeved red silk blouse, and red twoinch spiked summer heels. She has a yellow and black silk scarf around her glittered neck, and her whip lies on the table. ALI CE wears glitter and a sleeveless red and yellow summer dress, and yellow one-inch summer sandles. JESSI, MORGANA and CAROL each wear a curve-enhancing black leather Catherine Malandrino dress. There is a gymbag by CAROL'S feet. FATA MORGANA wears a brown fedora, black spike heels, black and white checkered miniskirt, black thigh high stockings, and a tailored short black shirt-jacket. JOAN, ELEKTRA, ALICE, FATA MORGANA, MORGANA, TRACY, MARGA, CAROL, and JESSI wear glitter. JIM stands up, puts his VA stressball on the table, leisurely drops his white Levi 501 boot-cut button-fly jeans revealing he's wearing women's hot pink Jockey string bikini panties, then tucks in his shirt, pulls up his white Levi 501 boot-cut buttonfly jeans, and buttons himself up. JIM'S Dead Men Tell No Tales tattoo on one arm and his Pirate Ship on his other arm ripple over his muscles. JIM sits down, puts his cowboy boot shod feet on the table and resumes squeezing his VA stressball. There is a gymbag by JIM'S boots. JAMES wears a Giorgio Armani suit, Gucci shoes and a Frank Sinatra fedora. Restless, JAMES stands up, his posture erect. There is a briefcase at JAMES' side. LANCE stands up, takes off his leather jacket and dark red silk shirt, hangs them on the chair, and sits back down in his leather harness. LANCE'S Aquarian tattoo on his left arm ripples over his muscles. LANCE wears custom tailored British Khaki Brooks Brothers Elliot Advantage Chinos tucked into his Keen Dallas Steel Toe Wellington Boots in dark brown. There is a gymbag by LANCE'S boots. All nine of the female EXTRAS are working with PETER on various steps. PETER is no fool, he's enjoying all the female attention being lavished on him.) CAROL as played by Kristin Davis
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(CAROL wears a curve-enhancing black leather Catherine dress. She looks around in disdain at all nine of the EXTRAS working with PETER on various steps. PETER is enjoying all the female attention being lavished upon Novato is . . . different. The Novato Narrows is a Numbing Time-Eater. Where's the flying cars? And what were the Novato people thinking when they let an I. M. Pei designed jarring-contrastultra-modern-very-un-Marin building go in below the oak-studded grass of Mt. Burdell Open Space Preserve. A gleaming-white, sharp, modernistic building squating all alone on the verdant and gracefull flanks of Mount Burdell. JOAN WESTIN as played by Diane Keaton

Malandrino female clearly him.)

(is confounded at just how un-Marin the Buck Institute for Research on Aging campus is, beautiful as it is, its ultra-modern building is clearly better suited elsewhere than open space-obsessed Marin) With cattle grazing below, and restricted access to this building by Pei, an internationally renowned architect. Pei is the architect of the National Gallery of Art in Washington, D.C., the glass-andsteel pyramid for the Louvre museum in Paris and the John F. Kennedy Presidential Library in Massachusetts. JOE as played by Morgan Freeman

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(He has a toothpick in his mouth, he speaks dry) Even the rocks of Mt. Burdell knew they had a better life elsewhere than Novato as they became cobblestones in the streets of San Francisco. JESSICA FREITAS-HAMILTON, RN, MS as played by Katie Holmes (JESSI wears a curve-enhancing black leather Catherine Malandrino dress. She turns to CAROL, catchers her eye, then recites.) When Marin goes driving, traffic jams hoosegow. Drivers avow, Where's the flying cars? We want 'em now. CAROL as played by Kristin Davis Bravo, Jessi. J. K. OLSON as played by Burt Ward (OLSON is in need of a haircut, wears scruffy loafers, fat socks, a wrinkled striped button down collar shirt, in rumpled, dark, pleated and cuffed trousers too big for him. OLSON'S right arm is only fifty percent of the use it was before his son, who he had abandoned before birth, tracked him down and shot him six months earlier. He looks at himself in the mirrors of the MARGARET TODD SENIOR CENTER, he is angry.) The theater is a starship that takes you everywhere while going nowhere.
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(pause, OLSON eyes JOE, JOAN, JIM, LANCE, ELEKTRA, ALICE, FATA MORGANA, MORGANA, TRACY, MARGA, CAROL, JESSI, EDGAR, and JAMES. OLSON speaks to the EXTRAS.) I'll see you next week. (One of the female EXTRAS has latched on to PETER and is not letting go. The FEMALE EXTRA collects her coat and then protectively walks PETER out the door, advertising her triumph in getting a man and just what all she planned to do keeping him. She alternately looks adoringly at PETER and menacingly at the other women. The rest of the EXTRAS collect their coats and shuffle out, each looking at JOE, JOAN WESTIN, JIM, LANCE, ELEKTRA, ALICE, FATA MORGANA, MORGANA, TRACY, MARGA, CAROL, JESSICA FREITAS-HAMILTON, EDGAR, and JAMES sitting at tables, then saying good-bye to OLSON, who only looks at himself in the mirrors of the MARGARET TODD SENIOR CENTER. After the last EXTRA has left, OLSON again eyes JOE, JOAN, JIM, LANCE, ELEKTRA, ALICE, FATA MORGANA, MORGANA, TRACY, MARGA, CAROL, JESSI, EDGAR, and JAMES.) JAMES as played by Ryan Reynolds (wears a Giorgio Armani suit, Gucci shoes and a Frank Sinatra fedora, speaks confidently) So, Olson. Isn't that something about your friend, Marin County Judge Terrence R. Boren? (laughs sarcastically) Is the jingle in your pocket worth the jangle in your mind?
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(JAMES pulls his nine-round Glock 27 from out of his hip holster, and lays it on the table. JAMES picks up his briefcase and and lays it on the table. He opens it up and takes out what Chef had prepared earlier, 10 purple plastic wine glasses, a wine opener and a fifteen-year old Gabbiano Chianti Classico, with its flavors of berry and pepper, which he opens. James places the 10 purple plastic wine glasses on the table and fills each with the fifteen-year old Gabbiano Chianti Classico, its smokey flavors of berry and pepper breathe out.) LANCE as played by Jamie Bell (wears custom tailored British Khaki Brooks Brothers Elliot Advantage Chinos tucked into his Keen Dallas Steel Toe Wellington Boots in dark brown, a leather harness, and a holster and nine-round Glock 27 on his hip. LANCE'S Aquarian tattoo on his left arm ripples over his muscles. LANCE smells of varnish as he just came from working on his racing scull where he thought only about its performance, drag coefficients, leverage and, the power generated by a human being. Twenty feet long. Narrow and sleek. The wooden craft's dark and elegant reddish blonde glass-like color glows from beneath nine coats of shellac while reflecting its surroundings. LANCE wears a solar powered Casio ProTrek GPS watch, and a GPS receiver and transmitter. JOE, JOAN WESTIN, JIM, ELEKTRA, ALICE, FATA MORGANA, MORGANA, TRACY, MARGA, CAROL, JESSICA FREITASHAMILTON, EDGAR, and JAMES all wear a GPS receiver and transmitter. LANCE speaks to JIM.) Jim, the only reason I haven't already killed him is because Alice asked me not to. (LANCE pulls his nine-round Glock 27 from out of his hip holster, and lays it on the table, speaks dry)

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The Northern Pacific Rattlesnake of all things. Judge Boren really should have been paying more attention in Marin County's forests and grasslands. Savvy, mate. (LANCE picks up his gymbag and and lays it on the table. He opens it up and takes out what Chef had prepared earlier, which is toothpicks, a bottle of Piquillo Pepper Stuffed Manzanilla Olives by La Tienda which he opens and places on the table.) JIM as played by Dwight Yoakam (JIM'S Dead Men Tell No Tales tattoo on one arm and his Pirate Ship on his other arm, ripple over his muscles as he continues to squeeze his VA stressball. JIM wears white Levi 501 boot-cut button-fly jeans, cowboy boots and Wiley X Active Series Combat sunglasses.) Lance, the only reason I haven't already killed him is because Alice asked me not to. (JIM pulls his nine-round Glock 27 from out of his hip holster, and lays it on the table. OLSON, in need of a haircut, wears scruffy loafers, fat socks, a wrinkled striped button down collar shirt, in rumpled, dark, pleated and cuffed trousers too big for him. OLSON looks at himself in the mirrors. OLSON is now unsure. JIM picks up his gymbag and and lays it on the table. He opens it up and takes out what Chef had prepared earlier, a pound bag of shelled California Walnuts which he opens and places on the table.) EDGAR as played by Matt Smith

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(EDGAR wears original Ray-Ban Wayfarer sunglasses, an L.L. Bean nonwrinkle navy blazer, pink shirt, tan-and-blue bow tie, tailored tan slacks, dark brown belt, light brown thin socks, and brown loafers; strokes a throwing knife against a leather strap) Ooh la la. The only reason I haven't already killed him is because Alice asked Elektra to tell me not to. (EDGAR picks up his shoulder bag and and lays it on the table. He opens it up and takes out what Chef had prepared earlier, a bag of 10 blue plastic water glasses and a gallon of Green Tea. EDGAR places the 10 blue plastic water glasses on the table and fills each with the Green Tea. OLSON looks at himself in the mirrors of the MARGARET TODD SENIOR CENTER.) CAROL as played by Kristin Davis (CAROL wears a curve-enhancing black leather Catherine Malandrino dress. She nods slow then laughs and speaks with sass.) The only reason I haven't already killed him is because Alice asked Elektra to tell me not to. (CAROL pulls her nine-round Glock 27 from out of her bag, and lays it on the table. CAROL picks up her gymbag and and lays it on the table. She opens it up and takes out what Chef had prepared earlier, 20 paper napkins, 10 red plastic wine glasses, a wine opener and a bottle of a 15-year old Giacomo Conterno Barbera dAlba Barbera, which she opens, places the 10 red plastic wine glasses on the table, and fills each with the 15-year old Giacomo Conterno Barbera dAlba Barbera. OLSON looks at himself in the mirrors of the MARGARET TODD SENIOR CENTER.) JOE as played by Morgan Freeman
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(JOE, cool and unruffled in Chrome Mirrored Aviator sunglasses, wears custom tailored British Khaki Brooks Brothers Elliot Advantage Chinos, dark blue loafers, dark blue thin socks, with a square cut dark blue, dark yellow, dark orange short-sleeve Hawaiian shirt worn out, and a holster and nineround Glock 27 on his hip. He squeezes a VA stressball. He has a toothpick in his mouth.) The only reason I haven't already killed him is because Alice asked Elektra to tell me not to. Savvy, mate. (JOE pulls his nine-round Glock 27 from out of his hip holster, and lays it on the table. Pause, speaks off-hand) Sitting on Judge Boren was easy. Getting the snake was even easier. (JOE picks up his briefcase and and lays it on the table. He opens it up and takes out what Chef had prepared earlier, 15 Saran-Wrapped pastrami sandwiches made with Boudin San Francisco Sourdough rolls, which he places on the table. JOE, JOAN WESTIN, JIM, LANCE, ELEKTRA, ALICE, FATA MORGANA, MORGANA, TRACY, MARGA, CAROL, JESSICA FREITASHAMILTON, EDGAR, and JAMES pour drinks. OLSON looks at himself in the mirrors of the MARGARET TODD SENIOR CENTER. JOE picks up and hands one of the Saran-Wrapped pastrami sandwiches made with a Boudin San Francisco Sourdough roll, and hands it to ELEKTRA who unwraps it and takes a bite. EDGAR wears original Ray-Ban Wayfarer sunglasses, an L.L. Bean non-wrinkle navy blazer, pink shirt, tan-and-blue bow tie, tailored tan slacks, dark brown belt, light brown thin socks, and brown loafers. EDGAR picks up two of the Saran-Wrapped pastrami sandwiches made with a Boudin San Francisco Sourdough roll. EDGAR hands one to TRACY and unwraps the
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other, looks at it as he is vegan, shrugs as he knows you always eat what Chef prepares for you, and takes a bite. JIM wears white Levi 501 boot-cut button-fly jeans, cowboy boots and Wiley X Active Series Combat sunglasses. JIM picks up two of the Saran-Wrapped pastrami sandwiches made with a Boudin San Francisco Sourdough roll. JIM hands one to MORGANA and unwraps the other and takes a bite. JIM'S Dead Men Tell No Tales tattoo on one arm and his Pirate Ship on his other arm, ripple over his muscles as he eats. JAMES wears a Giorgio Armani suit, Gucci shoes and a Frank Sinatra fedora. JAMES picks up two of the Saran-Wrapped pastrami sandwiches made with a Boudin San Francisco Sourdough roll. JAMES hands one to CAROL and unwraps the other and takes a bite. CAROL picks up and sips a glass of a fifteen-year old Gabbiano Chianti Classico, with its flavors of berry and pepper, then unwraps her pastrami sandwich.) JOAN WESTIN as played by Diane Keaton (picks up and unwraps one of the Saran-Wrapped pastrami sandwiches made with a Boudin San Francisco Sourdough roll, speaks flat) I've been thinking about Agatha Christie. JESSICA FREITAS-HAMILTON, RN, MS as played by Katie Holmes (JESSI wears a curve-enhancing black leather Catherine Malandrino dress. JOE picks up and hands one of the Saran-Wrapped pastrami sandwiches made with a Boudin San Francisco Sourdough roll, and hands it to JESSI, who unwraps it and takes a bite. LANCE wears custom tailored British Khaki Brooks Brothers Elliot Advantage Chinos tucked into his Keen Dallas Steel Toe Wellington Boots in dark brown, a leather harness, a holster on his hip, a solar powered Casio ProTrek GPS watch, and a GPS receiver and transmitter. LANCE'S Aquarian tattoo on his left arm ripples over his muscles. LANCE smells of varnish as he just came from working on his racing scull. LANCE picks up two of the Saran-Wrapped pastrami sandwiches made with a Boudin San Francisco Sourdough roll. LANCE hands
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one to ALICE and unwraps the other, looks at it as he is Vegan, shrugs as he knows you always eat what Chef prepares for you, he takes a bite, then sips his glass of a 15-year old Giacomo Conterno Barbera dAlba Barbera. Alice unwraps the sandwich and sets it down while she sips her glass of a fifteenyear old Gabbiano Chianti Classico, with its flavors of berry and pepper.) Her Ten Little Indians 1965 film has quite the clever plot, doesn't it. Start MUSIC Marcia Ball's Find Another Fool @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AOhX4hK8x9M. LIGHTS slowly on to MARCIA BALL performing. MARGA as played by Charlotte Rampling (picks up and unwraps one of the Saran-Wrapped pastrami sandwiches made with a Boudin San Francisco Sourdough roll, nods) Ten Swollen Marinites. FATA MORGANA as played by Joanna Lumley (sips her glass of a 15-year old Giacomo Conterno Barbera dAlba Barbera, takes a few shelled California Walnuts, speaks dry) Ten swollen Marinites went to Fresh Choice to dine; one choked his swollen self and then there were nine. MORGANA as played by Rene Russo (MORGANA wears a curve-enhancing black leather Catherine Malandrino dress, takes a few shelled California Walnuts, she purrs)

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Nine swollen Marinites at Todd Senior for dates; one booze-overdosed herself and then there were eight. CURTAIN closes. End of Act II Scene One.

Act II Scene Two All choked up. Start MUSIC Wynonna's That Was Yesterday @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6NrCelfsp8A. LIGHT on slowly to WYNONNA performing. WYNONNA PERFORMANCE ends, LIGHTS down slowly on WYNONNA who exits. CURTAIN opens onto interior MARGARET TODD SENIOR CENTER, City of Novato, California. LIGHTS slowly onto WYNONNA as she performs. On set are J. K. OLSON, JOE, JOAN WESTIN, JIM, LANCE, ELEKTRA, ALICE, FATA MORGANA, MORGANA, TRACY, MARGA, CAROL, JESSICA FREITAS-HAMILTON, EDGAR, JAMES, and EXTRAS. JOE, JOAN WESTIN, JIM, LANCE, ELEKTRA, ALICE, FATA MORGANA, MORGANA, TRACY, MARGA, CAROL, JESSICA FREITAS-HAMILTON, EDGAR, and JAMES sit at tables. There are 11 EXTRAS, all obese, white and elderly. 9 are women, 2 are men; most who reek of cigarette or cigar smoke, and all of various alcohols, stand in front of OLSON. J. K. OLSON is teaching the EXTRAS Beginning West Coast Swing. OLSON is in need of a haircut, wears scruffy loafers, fat socks, a wrinkled striped button down collar shirt, in rumpled, dark, pleated and cuffed trousers too big for him. OLSON'S right arm is only fifty percent of the use it was before his son, who he had abandoned before birth, tracked him down and shot him six months earlier. It is Sunday afternoon, September 2, 2012. JOE and JIM each squeeze a VA stressball. There is a briefcase at JOE'S side. Jim wears Wiley X Active Series Combat sunglasses. EDGAR wears original Ray-Ban Wayfarer sunglasses, an L.L. Bean non-wrinkle navy blazer, pink shirt, tan-and-blue bow tie, tailored tan
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slacks, dark brown belt, light brown thin socks, and brown loafers. EDGAR strokes a throwing knife against a leather strap. There is a shoulder bag at EDGAR'S side. ELEKTRA wears a long rust, yellow, red, orange, and black summer skirt to her ankles, a long-sleeved red silk blouse, and red two-inch spiked summer heels. She has a yellow and black silk scarf around her glittered neck, and her whip lies on the table. ALI CE wears glitter and a sleeveless red and yellow summer dress, and yellow one-inch summer sandles. Her clothes are pot-holed and paint-smudged. There is dirt under her long nails from gardening. JESSI, MORGANA and CAROL each wear a curve-enhancing black leather Catherine Malandrino dress. There is a gymbag by CAROL'S feet. FATA MORGANA wears a brown fedora, black spike heels, black and white checkered miniskirt, black thigh high stockings, and a tailored short black shirt-jacket. JOAN, ELEKTRA, ALICE, FATA MORGANA, MORGANA, TRACY, MARGA, CAROL, and JESSI wear glitter makeup. JIM stands up, puts his VA stressball on the table, leisurely drops his white Levi 501 boot-cut button-fly jeans revealing he's wearing women's hot pink Jockey string bikini panties, then tucks in his shirt, pulls up his white Levi 501 boot-cut button-fly jeans, and buttons himself up. JIM'S Dead Men Tell No Tales tattoo on one arm and his Pirate Ship on his other arm ripple over his muscles. JIM sits with his cowboy boot shod feet on the table and squeezes his VA stressball. There is a gymbag by JIM'S boots. JAMES wears a Giorgio Armani suit, Gucci shoes and a Frank Sinatra fedora. Restless, JAMES stands up, his posture erect. There is a briefcase at JAMES' side. LANCE stands up, takes off his leather jacket and dark red silk shirt, hangs them on the chair, and sits back down in his leather harness. LANCE'S Aquarian tattoo on his left arm ripples over his muscles. LANCE wears custom tailored British Khaki Brooks Brothers Elliot Advantage Chinos tucked into his Keen Dallas Steel Toe Wellington Boots in dark brown. There is a gymbag by LANCE'S boots.
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TRACY as played by Barbara Hershey (eats a Piquillo Pepper Stuffed Manzanilla Olive by La Tienda, feels troubled, looks at OLSON, who watches himself in the mirrors of the MARGARET TODD SENIOR CENTER) Eight swollen Marinites traveling in Heaven; one said he'd stay there and then there were seven. ELEKTRA as played by Frances Fisher (sips her glass of a fifteen-year old Gabbiano Chianti Classico, with its flavors of berry and pepper, gives a grim look to OLSON, who watches himself in the mirrors of the MARGARET TODD SENIOR CENTER) Seven swollen Marinites, Novato's chopsticks; one chops herself in halves and then there were six. JOAN WESTIN as played by Diane Keaton (sips her glass of Green Tea, she narrows her eyes and looks at OLSON, who watches himself in the mirrors of the MARGARET TODD SENIOR CENTER) Six swollen Marinites messin' with a beehive; bumblebees stung one twicethrice, then there were five. JESSICA FREITAS-HAMILTON, RN, MS as played by Katie Holmes (eats a couple Piquillo Pepper Stuffed Manzanilla Olives by La Tienda)
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Five swollen Marinites do anything for much more; one put in San Quentin and then there were four. MARGA as played by Charlotte Rampling Four swollen Marinites going out to deep sea; red herring swallowed one and then there were three. FATA MORGANA as played by Joanna Lumley (eyes ALICE protectively. The last of Chef's Saran-Wrapped pastrami sandwiches lies on the table. OLSON looks away from the mirrors of the MARGARET TODD SENIOR CENTER and eyes that sandwich. He moves his right arm toward the sandwich. It is only fifty percent of the use it was before his then elevenyear-old son, who he had abandoned before birth, tracked him down and shot OLSON six months earlier.) Three swollen Marinites walking in the Muir Woo'; a lawyer milked one and then there were two. MORGANA as played by Rene Russo (speaks cold as she looks at OLSON) Two swollen Marinites sitting in the noon sun; one got very burnt up and then there was one. (OLSON picks up the last of Chef's Saran-Wrapped pastrami sandwiches. He watches himself in the mirrors of the MARGARET TODD SENIOR
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CENTER as he unwraps it, and then takes a large bite. He takes another large bite. He begins to choke.) TRACY as played by Barbara Hershey (looks at ALICE protectively, but speaks with satisfaction to OLSON) One swollen Marinite always eating a tonne; pigged out, choked himself, and then there were none. Start MUSIC Barbra Streisand & Andy Gibb - Who's Sorry Now http://grooveshark.com/#!/s/Who+s+Sorry+Now/94QvK? src=5. LIGHTS slowly up to BARBRA STREISAND and ANDY GIBB COVER performing. ALICE as played by Lucy Lawless (ALI CE wears glitter and a sleeveless red and yellow summer dress, and yellow one-inch summer sandles. Her clothes are pot-holed and paintsmudged. There is dirt under her long nails from gardening. She sadly looks at OLSON choking, then shrugs.) I am loving you and, you, you're just fucking me. ELEKTRA as played by Frances Fisher (ELEKTRA wears a long rust, yellow, red, orange, and black summer skirt to her ankles, a long-sleeved red silk blouse, and red two-inch spiked summer heels. She has a yellow and black silk scarf
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around her glittered neck, and her whip in her hand. She walks up and looks directly into OLSON'S panicked eyes over his choking.) Just so you understand, Olson. Giger doesn't enter into cooperative arrangements with others whose practices are incompatible with ours. JAMES as played by Ryan Reynolds (wears a Giorgio Armani suit, Gucci shoes and a Frank Sinatra fedora. JAMES is a proud lover himself, he speaks confident and with anger as he's in love with ALICE who's in love with OLSON.) Olson, husbands should always be lovers too. ALICE as played by Lucy Lawless Olson, and, what of your precious marriage vows? JESSICA FREITAS-HAMILTON, RN, MS as played by Katie Holmes (JESSI wears a curve-enhancing black leather Catherine Malandrino dress. She sips her glass of a fifteen-year old Gabbiano Chianti Classico, with its flavors of berry and pepper, as she clinically observes OLSON choke.) Alice's misjudgments, however egregious, pale against the solely self-enriching recklessness of Olson. ALICE as played by Lucy Lawless

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I'm occasionally selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I occasionally make mistakes. I am occasionally out of control and at times hard to handle. But, if you can't or won't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. Olson, I don't know who you are. Do you?. CURTAIN closes. The End

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