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9 Powerful Life Lessons From Studying with a Monk Dr Ak...

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9 Powerful Life Lessons From Studying with a Monk

by Robert Piper
When I was 18 years old, I suffered from anxiety and stomach problems. A compassionate physician and practicing Buddhist referred me to a Taoist monk who specialized in meditation and martial arts. I ended up healing myself of anxiety and stomach issues by doing meditation, and went on a great journey of self-discovery. Here are 9 lessons I learned while studying with a monk:

1. Keep trying until you get it right.


The most important life lesson I learned was trying something three times (maybe even four times) before you stop trying and move on. Also, this monk taught me that, even after multiple tries, you should work on different angles to approach things that are difficult. If you keep trying, youll eventually get where youre going.

2. The answer to your question is inside of you.


As part of the original monastery training, a monk didnt answer direct questions from a student unless it was a well thought-out question. A Chinese proverb says, Teachers open the door, but you must enter by yourself.

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9 Powerful Life Lessons From Studying with a Monk Dr Ak...

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Some forms of Zen Buddhism use a very similar style of training. An old saying (by Taoist monks) goes like this: In making a four corner table, the teacher shows the student how to make one corner. Its the students job to figure out how to make the other three. They did this because they were preparing a student to deal effectively with problems in the real world. I traveled to South Korea one time, and I found it fascinating how much you have to rely on your intuition when you dont speak the native language of a country. I remember one instance, I had trouble explaining to the cab driver where my hotel was, and he didnt speak English. So I had to get out of the cab and ask several people until I could find someone to tell the cab driver in Korean how to get to my hotel. In life, whenever we try new things, we have to go into new places with only a small amount of information. The real world doesnt give us all the answers. The greatest teacher is inside of us.

3. Real wisdom in life comes from doing something and failing.


Prior to starting meditation, I used to get upset when Id try something and fail. Ive been in sales since I was sixteen. I remember going to work and getting so angry with myself because I didnt get a sale. If I ever got rejected, Id get upset with myself, and Id want to quit my job. But I just keep failing over and overuntil I became good at it. I remember, when I first started doing meditation, I ran into several problems. For example, at first it was difficult to calm down; but if you stick with it, its gets easier and easier. I tried for only a few minutes, and then every day, I added more time onto my meditation. When we struggle, we learn about ourselves and what we need to do to become stronger.

4. When you start to do meditation you recognize the egotistical mind.


Everything in the egos world is the result of comparing. I compared myself to other salesmen and would blame myself because I wasnt making as much money as them. When I started doing meditation, I began to build separation from this egoistical mind, which is consistently making these comparisons. A lot of us try something and get rejected, so we give up. Even worse, we blame ourselves for a long time and get depressed. When I started to do meditation, I began to identify my ego and was able to build separation from it. Thats what happens when we meditate: We separate from the part of ourselves that dwells on comparisons, and start learning to live a life that isnt driven by our egos.

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9 Powerful Life Lessons From Studying with a Monk Dr Ak...

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5. We must be both compassionate and resilient.


The monk wouldnt meet with me to train unless I called him a minimum of three times. I hated this part. I used to call and call and he would never answer. But this is how life is. How many times do you have to call or email someone to get something done in the real world? Its usually several times. Most of us blame ourselves when we try once to do something and fail. At the time, I hated this part of the training, but now I think it was the most important life lesson. Theres a Taoist proverb that says, Cotton on the outside, steel on the inside. It reminds us to be compassionate, but not weak.

6. Patience is a virtue.
The monk always made me waitand I dreaded this. For example, when I got to his house to train, hed make me wait for a minimum of a half-hour, sometimes longer. Wed go out to dinner on Friday nights and hed show up at the restaurant an hour late. Hed tell me to meet him at a particular restaurant at 7:00. Id get there and find out that he wasnt there. So Id usually be sitting in the restaurant by myself fumbling with my phone, acting like I was texting someone, while worrying about what everyone at the restaurant was thinking about me. Keep in mind, its not like I could call him; I dont think the guy ever turned his cell phone on. Then hed show up at about 8:15 and act like nothing happened. His first question was always, Hows your mother and father? (Of course in my head Im thinking, What do you mean, Hows my mother and father? I just waited here for an hour and fifteen minutes.) But after a few years of this, it never bothered me; and not only that, it spread to every area of my life. Because of this training, I can honestly say that I very rarely get upset about anything. I never get agitated anymore when I have to wait in a long line or when someone cuts me off on the highway. Patience is the gift of inner calm.

7. Detach from your ego.


At first, its hard to sit at a restaurant by yourself. Youre constantly worrying, thinking that people probably think youre a loser because youre sitting by yourself. But the reality is, you will never be happy if you care about what people think you! Prior to starting meditation, Id get upset over just about anything. Now, nothing really bothers me. Recently, I was in the airport and there was a several hour delay on my flight. I just used that time to do meditation. Ten years ago, I would have become extremely upset. An airplane delay would have ruined my day.

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9 Powerful Life Lessons From Studying with a Monk Dr Ak...

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When you let go of your ego needs, its easier to accept and even benefit from whatever comes at you.

8. In Taoism, they say, No self, No enemy.


Its the enemy within that causes all of our fears, worries, and insecurities. If you come to terms with this enemy within, it will impact every area of your life. Its the identification with the self/ego that causes all of lifes problems. How many times do we not go for something because of fear? Think about all the fears that we have conjured up in our minds that stop us from being truly happy. If you can conquer the enemy within yourself, you wont have an enemy outside yourself.

9. Happiness come from within, and also comes from outside.


I learned this from observing the Buddhist Physician I met. He used to do meditation in his office before he would interact with his patients. He was one of the happiest and most compassionate people Ive ever met. By creating happiness inside, he was able to increase that emotional state by spreading it to others. We must cultivate happiness from within, and work to spread it around to everyone we interact with. The monk used say, Everyone has a purpose or a mission in life. We have to find happiness within, and also find our purpose on the outside.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Robert Piper is a meditation instructor & the creator of monkinthecity.com. He studied with a Taoist monk for 9 years & traveled to Asia & Australia in search of other meditation teachers. Robert is currently writing a book on meditation to make it more accessible for stress relief, health & happiness.

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9 Powerful Life Lessons From Studying with a Monk Dr Ak...

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6 Responses to 9 Powerful Life Lessons From Studying with a Monk


tanita McNealy June 14, 2012 at 2:44 pm nice read Reply

Sunday Chijioke Ijah June 14, 2012 at 3:40 pm This is just perfect Reply

Quinton June 15, 2012 at 4:28 am just what we need. Reply

rrendon86 June 15, 2012 at 5:58 pm Woah I am amazed! Very helpful post, I will put into practice about meditating. Reply

otove June 20, 2012 at 5:25 am Reblogged this on The Borscht of times, the Wrste of times and commented: Inspirational! Reply

Thomas Ross June 20, 2012 at 9:16 am Thank you for sharing this amazing wisdom. Reply

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