Listening

Seek first to understand Then to be understood. (Covey, 1997)

Listening is not a communication action, it is a human action.



Understanding how to listen effectively is an essential skill that benefits everything from family life to business.

Introduction and Overview



What listening is not:

Hearing vs. listening  Faulty listening behaviors  Reasons for poor listening


Introduction and Overview



What listening is:

Stages of successful listening  Personal listening styles  Situational listening


What listening is not



Hearing vs. Listening:



 

Hearing: Sounds waves strike the ear drum and cause vibrations that are transmitted to the brain. Automatic and effortless Listening: The brain gives the sounds meaning. Unnatural, requires effort

Faulty listening behaviors

1.

2.

3.

Pseudo listening: imitation, or fake listening. Pretending to listen. Selective listening: responding only to the parts of a speakers remarks that interest the receiver and rejecting everything else. Defensive listening: taking innocent comments as personal attacks.

Faulty Listening, cont.

4. Ambushing: using listening skills to collect information to use for an attack on the speaker. 5. Insulated listening: avoiding a particular topic. 6. Insensitive listening: unable to look beyond words for other meanings.

Faulty listening, cont.

7. Stage Hogging: attempting to turn the conversation to oneself.

Reasons for Poor Listening

      

Effort: listening is hard; it is not natural Message overload Rapid thought Psychological noise Physical noise Hearing problems Faulty assumptions

Reasons for Poor Listening, cont.

 

Cultural differences Media

What Listening is: Listening Defined



Listening: Occurs when the brain gives the sound transmitted meaning.


Listening is not like breathing. It is unnatural and requires effort.

What listening is: Stages of Successful Listening

1. 2.

3.

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Attending: paying attention to a signal Understanding: making sense of a message Responding: giving observable feedback to the speaker Remembering
1.

Residual Message: what is remembered

Personal Listening Styles



Content-Oriented: interested in the quality of the message. This style is useful when looking at a wide range of perspectives and options. People-oriented: concerned with creating and maintaining positive relationships

Personal Listening Styles, cont.



Action-Oriented: concerned with the task at hand. Useful when business needs to be attended to. Time-oriented: most concerned with efficiency.

Situational Listening
Informational listening:
Used when one wants to understand another. The goal is to receive the same thoughts the other person is trying to convey.

Informational Listening, cont.

1. 2.

3. 4.

5.

Listen first Don t kill the messenger : separate the message from the speaker Look for big ideas and main points Paraphrase: restate what the speaker is saying in one s own words Take notes

Critical Listening


Judging the quality of a message and deciding to accept or reject it. 1. Listen for information first 2. Evaluate the speakers credibility - check the source 3. Examine evidence and reasoning 4. Remove emotion

Empathetic Listening


Stages of listening (Covey, 1997)

    

Ignoring Pretend listening Selective listening Attentive listening Empathic listening: the first step in beginning to understand someone

Empathetic Listening


The goal is to build a relationship or help solve a problem. This style of listening has the most respect for the other s point of view.

Empathetic Listening
Ways to practice empathetic listening: 1. Advising: offering suggestions 2. Judging: look for constructive judgments 3. Analyzing: offers and interpretations of the speakers message

Empathic Listening, cont.

4. Questioning: helps sort out problems 5. Supporting 6. Prompting: The goal is to help the speaker draw conclusions for him/herself 7. Paraphrasing: rewording