Presented by: Omid

It is important to regularly assess your business relationships. Have you got the balance right? There is a big difference between assertiveness and aggressiveness and your style of communication may need to be adapted slightly. Assertive communication is the clear, direct confident communication style that works in business.

What is aggressive behavior?

It is standing up for yourself in such a way that disregards the other person's feelings, position, or interests. Aggressive behavior therefore comes across as an attempt to humiliate, control, hurt, belittle or disregard the other person.

Whether the aggressive behavior is conscious or unconscious it will encourage the recipient to be more aggressive in his/her response.

'I am tired of being the only person in this organization who can keep on top of things. 'It surprised me that you did not discuss this matter with me. You insulted my professional experience by taking action without consulting me. 'Why haven't I heard from you by now? You are not giving me the service or response I expect. It is obvious that you just don't know what you are doing.

'Let me know why this is happening or sort this problem out. If you cannot do this then refund the money you have already taken by credit card. 'I am sick and tired of the management of this company. It is obvious that you don't care about other people.'

What is passive aggressive behavior?

Passive aggressive behavior is the indirect expression of anger or frustration. On the surface the person looks passive and content as there is no visible sign of aggression but in reality the person is quietly boiling below the surface.

Examples of passive aggressive behavior include: Giving someone a wide berth or ignoring the person. Slamming doors or drawers hoping that someone will notice. When asked 'what is wrong?' just snapping 'nothing' in reply. Making hurtful sarcastic comments about someone.

What is assertive behavior?

Assertive behavior is standing up for yourself in such a way that is does not violate the rights of the other person. It is means that you can be direct and honest when expressing your feelings and opinions.

By adopting an assertive approach you will encourage others around you to be more assertive too. The simple rule for effective communication is the KISS rule.
Begin with something positive Explain what made you feel the way you did Do not attack Do not exaggerate Do not mind-read

Be sure your spouse is listening. Focus on preferences, not principles

Clarify your needs

Limit yourself to one or two topics

Allow time for questions at the end

'I like our business relationship the way it is. I would like to present some ideas to you about how it could be enhanced further. When would be a good time to do this? Yes. Excuse me, Sir. I would like to finish off what I was saying. 'I think some of the points you raised are true. I hadn't quite seen it that way before. I would like to prevent this happening again and would therefore like you to be less personal about my shortcomings in future.'

Talk from I. It is always best to talk from 'I'. 'I see it differently' or 'I remember it differently'. Be for something, not against. When expressing a different opinion give positive reasons for your view rather than arguments against the other person's views. 'I believe we can produce results more quickly if we make this a team project.' Rather than, 'Your idea of giving one person responsibility for the project won't work.' Look for areas of agreement. You can make others more receptive to your ideas if you recognize their ideas as well. 'I want to incorporate as many of your ideas on people and resources. I would like to discuss further these specific areas so that we can move towards agreement'. Express yourself. State your reaction to the other person's behavior directly and clearly without becoming negative. 'I find it frustrating'. 'I think that it is unfair.' Specify your wishes. Get your point over calmly. ''I would prefer that you '