Mentoring

Slide 1

Ice Breaker

Whos My Best Mentor in this group? Interview any 5 participants Ask them any 4 questions Write down your questions & their answers Score them on a scale of 1=low to 10=high Tell them your score Who has the highest total score in the group? What were the most important questions? What did we learn? Slide 2

Introduction
What is mentoring? Benefits of mentoring Mentor Skills Mentoring process Mentoring guidelines Mentor quotes Case studies

Slide 3

Course Introduction

Course Facilitator Participants Course Objectives Your Objectives Course Schedule Ground Rules Logistics Any Questions?
Slide 4

Individual Introduction

My Name What I like to be called My Greatest Success My work background What mentoring means to me My course expectations How I will use my mentoring skills
Slide 5

Course Objectives
Aim: To provide information & practice skills needed in working as a mentor Objectives: Consider how to communicate effectively as a mentor Clarify how the mentoring programme works Explore support & resources

Slide 6

Ground Rules Participation Interaction Confidentiality Mobile Phones Questions Manage Time Have Fun!

Review Slide 7
7

Participation

Participation

What you put in is what you get out

Slide 8

Having Fun

Should we? If so, how? With sensitivity & in moderation.

Slide 9

Questions

Please Ask Questions Any Time Be ready to answer Any Aspect Develop your reasoning
Slide 10

Introduction - Agenda
Introduction What is Mentoring? Benefits of Mentoring Mentor Skills Mentoring Process Mentoring Guidelines Mentor Quotes Case Studies
Slide 11

Introduction What is mentoring? Benefits of mentoring Mentor Skills Mentoring process Mentoring guidelines

Mentor quotes
Case studies

Slide 12

Exercise 1
In small groups discuss these questions & record the responses on flipchart. 1. What is mentoring? 2. What are the benefits of mentoring for mentors & mentees? 3. What skills and qualities do mentors need?

Slide 13

What is mentoring?

What is Mentoring? Who is a Mentor? What is the Mentors role?

Slide 14

Mentoring Definition
A one-to-one, non-judgmental relationship, in which an individual mentor voluntarily gives his/her time to support and encourage another, the mentee. Organized relationship: (partners carefully selected) It is voluntary It is confidential Serves mentee needs

Home office 2001

Slide 15

Mentoring Definition
Mentoring is a means for sharing experience between two parties a two-way street with benefits for both sides Mentoring is actually a form of informal learning
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A mentor is
a good listener open to challenges non-judgemental non-intrusive 100% reliable 100% committed. constructive

trustworthy

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Introduction What is mentoring? Benefits of mentoring Mentor Skills Mentoring process Mentoring guidelines

Mentor quotes
Case studies

Slide 18

Benefits of Mentoring
For Mentors: increasing personal effectiveness as a result of experiences as a mentor experiencing the satisfaction of helping mentees to gain clarity and achieve their goals becoming informed about the services & resources available to mentees in their area being able to use the experience on your CV to enhance your career prospects
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Benefits of Mentoring
For Mentors: interpersonal skills such as negotiating and listening communication skills, including clear oral communication report writing and recording skills target and goal setting skills confidence, self esteem and resourcefulness
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Benefits of Mentoring
For Mentees: Experiencing the positive effects of being deeply respected Having a clearer understanding of the issues that face them Becoming clearer about ways to solve difficulties

Slide 21

Benefits of Mentoring
For Mentees: Realising that they have knowledge and skills regarding their situation Increased self esteem and confidence An increased sense of direction and purpose The acquisition and development of new skills

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The Mentor is
respectful genuine empathetic humble personal integrity quiet enthusiasm a good listener

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The Mentor is
constructive open to challenges non-judgemental non-intrusive trustworthy 100% reliable 100% committed
Slide 24

How to be a good mentor

Be positive Be reliable Be a good listener Show interest Be reliable Be non judgemental Be approachable Be realistic

Slide 25

MENTORING SKILLS Key stages in mentoring process

getting to know each other establishing rapport diagnosis agreeing a programme and mutual expectations implementation periodic review exit strategy.
Slide 26

The structure and organisation of a typical mentoring meeting

Prepare for the meeting. First thing when you meet your mentee is to reconnect to the last meeting. Establish progress since the last meeting. What is the central focus of the meeting today? Work through todays agenda. Agree an action plan for the following week(s), ready for the next meeting. Review the meeting and agree date/time/venue of next meeting.

Discussion Dos
Agree on the framework of the discussion. Maintain a constructive & supportive atmosphere and tone. Be certain you have all the necessary information. Encourage your mentee to reflect on her responses, performance, attitudes etc.

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Discussion Dos
Encourage trust and mutual responsibility. Be prepared to discuss and negotiate. Be comfortable with silences. Recognise when you dont have the skills to deal with a problem and find appropriate help and advice

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Discussion Donts
Allow outcome to dominate the process. Allow paperwork to dominate the discussion. Inhibit the mentee from talking. Be a know it all. Be bland or over-cosy

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Discussion Donts
Use inappropriate language. Pressure the mentee to adopt your own views. Appear rushed or pressed for time. Show extreme agreement or disagreement. Only praise or approve behaviour because it only conforms to your own standards.

Slide 31

Exercise
In groups of three: Take turns to play mentee, mentor and observer This is the first or second meeting. Each person speaks for 5 mins with 2 minutes feeback and then swap over.

Mentoring Focus
Directing (Tell)
Intellectual / Skill Need Emotional Need

Coaching

Facilitating

Mentoring

Networking Counselling
Non-Directing (Ask)

Slide 33

The Mentoring Focus Finding the right balance (Between Protg Needs and Mentor Approach)
Telling Intellectual / Skill Need Intellectual / Skill Need Directing (tell) Emotional Need Emotional Need

Mentor Approach

Coaching

Facilitating

Mentoring Protg Needs

Networking

Counselling Non-Directing (ask)

Asking

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Styles of Mentoring
High Assertiveness

High Expressiveness

Low Expressiveness

Spirited

Tells

Direct Hides Emotions

Shows Emotions Asks

Systematic

Considerate

Low Assertiveness
Slide 35

Style of Mentoring
Direct Spirited High Assertiveness

Tells

High Expressiveness

Low Expressiveness

Facilitation

Coaching

Hides Emotions

Mentoring
Asks

Shows Emotions

Networking

Counseling

Systematic

Low Assertiveness

Considerate
Slide 36

Mentoring Styles
Style
Direct Spirited Description
High assertiveness, low expressiveness High assertiveness, high expressiveness.

Mentors By
Taking charge Inspiring Building group harmony Planning carefully

Low assertiveness, Considerate high expressiveness

Systematic

Low assertiveness, low expressiveness

Slide 37

Mentoring Styles
Produces quick results Gets people moving Takes charge no matter how
challenging the situation Most Effective in crisis situations or rapidly changing situations in which bold action and quick decisions are needed

Direct Direct

Less Effective in situations requiring careful planning and in situations requiring tact and sensitivity to others feeling

Slide 38

Mentoring Styles

Inspires others to develop fresh, new approaches Create a fun atmosphere by acting spontaneously

Spirited

Most Effective in situations in which people need to be motivated to develop fresh, innovative ideas. Less Effective in urgent situations in which deadlines must be met and in situations in which long-term planning is vital.
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Mentoring Styles
Provides a space for mentee to explore feelings Creates an opportunity for selfreflection and challenging

Considerate

Most Effective in situations in which people need to problem solve & deal with setbacks. Less Effective in situations which there is not enough time and the mentee is not relaxed
Slide 40

Mentoring Styles

Makes decisions based on facts Asks for specific details Is analytical

Systematic

Most Effective in situations calling for careful, long-term planning, accuracy, and objective analysis.

Less Effective in situations requiring quick decision-making or flexibility because of ambiguity or interpersonal conflict.
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Habit 1 Be Proactive
Stimulus The Initial Reaction Model Response
Initial Reaction

Choose Your Response

Response = Initial Reaction? Reactive Response
No Choice

Stimulus

Response

Response = Chosen Reaction? Proactive Response

Choice

Habit 2: Begin With The End In Mind

Base todays choice

On your long term goal

Habit 4 Think Win-Win

Win-win Attitude

Mentoring Skills - Principles

Understand Before Responding

Understand First

Then

Be understood
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Mentoring Base Skills

Listening
Most people dont listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply Steven Covey

Attention Hearing Understanding Feeling

Responding with empathy

Slide 46

Mentoring Base Skills

Types of probes Neutral (Follow-up) That would be one way to Summary From your perspective About How do you feel about Brief Assertion You have more to say about this Reflective You dont feel comfortable with? Pause .. Open What/How? Closed Which/what specifically? Leading Dont you think it would be better if? Framing Help me see how this fits in with Hypothetical What would happen if?

Questioning

Slide 47

Mentoring Secondary Skills

Rapport
Listen deeply

Cultivate empathy & respect for the protgs experience

Put your own agenda on hold Elicit & respect the protgs values Mirror the protgs language Check for matching body language
Slide 48

Exercise Paraphrasing
Listen Repeat in own words

Reflect emotion
Ask for confirmation

Slide 49

49

Mentoring Secondary Skills

Socratic Direction
Facilitation
Developing your protg by asking the right questions

Learning Styles
Understand and adapt to the learning style your protg

Slide 50

Mentoring Socratic Direction

Developing the protg by asking the right questions Questions Statements Pauses
Reformulated question

Socrates

Information Thoughts Opinions

Answer

Mentor

Question

Mentee

Direction of learning

Answer

Slide 51

Mentoring Learning Styles

Understand and adapt to the learning style of the protg

The Activist
Testing new knowledge or skills immediately and then correcting

The Reflector
Thinking carefully about how to apply new learning before acting

The Theorist
Conceptualizing how the learning fits with coherent models and theories

The Pragmatist
Highly practical; only learns if new knowledge makes sense and can help achieve goals
Slide 52

Mentoring Secondary Skills

Activity Outcome

Goal Setting

Focus on outcomes not activities

Choose good measures of success

Quantitative Leading Time based

Good stretch

Too little? Too much?

Link to goals of others

For synergy
Slide 53

Guidelines for good mentoring 1

Make sure you meet

Keep meetings brief

Use a simple process (KISS)

Develop the ask, dont tell habit

Remember its all about learning

Plan your own self improvement

Slide 54

Guidelines for good mentoring 2

Make the protg independent of you

Share your failures & your successes

Prepare specific goals for your relationship

Use a stepping stone process to build on success

Celebrate successes no matter how small

Make mentoring a fun experience for both of you

Slide 55

Mentor quotes
What would you like to talk about today? You have said very little about X, but that seems to be central to this issue It seems you dont feel comfortable talking about this I went through a similar experience 25 years ago Tell me about your experience of What I understand youre saying is The way you are talking now reminds me of the time I Lets look at the pros & cons of this option. Lets explore this issue some more Shall we start by recapping on our previous meeting?

Well done! That feels like a breakthrough.

How could we find out what we dont know about this?

How would you assess the mentoring process so far?

Slide 56

Boundaries
Boundaries help the mentor and mentee to know exactly where they stand on issues of confidentiality, conduct and working limits. If boundaries are not clear this could cloud the development of the relationship. An example of a boundary is time: mentors need to be reliable and consistent.

Slide 57

Boundaries
Your relationship should be friendly and supportive. You should not get over emotionally involved. You should not be a bank or a taxi service. Your mentee may want to give you a thank you gift at the end of the mentoring relationship and while you wont be expecting this, it is fine to accept.
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Boundaries
You should never give or loan money Do not gossip, but be aware that if something serious is raised you are obliged to seek advice. Always be aware of your personal safety when visiting your mentee at home and leave if you are not comfortable. You should not become involved in complex personal, domestic, or political issues with the mentee.
Slide 59

Boundaries
You should not talk about the personal/intimate areas of your life. You should not provide advice on anything that is beyond your knowledge or skills.

Slide 60

CONFIDENTIALITY DOS AND DONTS

You should share with the Programme Coordinator any concerns about anything your mentee has disclosed. Be careful who you talk to about your mentee. Keep to general information. Maintain safe systems for recording information. Be aware of your own limits when dealing with difficult issues.
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CONFIDENTIALITY DOS AND DONTS

Never promise to keep secrets. Never reveal personal information about your mentee to anyone outside the project. Never disclose personal information without the mentees consent although there are some exceptions to this. It is important that mentees feel that most of what is said is confidential and kept within the mentoring programme
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CONFIDENTIALITY DOS AND DONTS

But mentees need to know that content of sessions is not strictly confidential. Mentors have to keep logs and write reports, which may have to be referred to. Sometimes information has to go outside the mentoring programme child protection issues, offending etc.

Slide 63

CONFIDENTIALITY DOS AND DONTS

Mentees should have this explained to them before they begin the programme. I have not got the authority to keep secrets Im part of a larger project. Confidentiality needs to be discussed in the first session as part of setting up ground rules.

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Types of questions
Open: To gather information and opinions Probing: To explore and extend Summary: To check/clarify what has been said Reflective: To get views and opinions

Types of questions
Factual: To get facts Comparison: To explore similarities and differences Hypothetical: To think more widely

Effective Questioning Checklist

Keep your objectives clearly in mind. When a mentee asks What do you think I should do/say? turn it round and send it back What do you think you could do/say? giving them a chance to find the solution before you give one. Establish a pattern of questions that can be sustained: e.g. ask open questions, followed up by probe questions.

Effective Questioning Checklist

Limit the number of closed questions. Avoid counter-productive questions. Use plain language. Allow thinking time for responses, dont feel you have to rush in to fill a silence.

Effective Questioning Checklist

Analyse replies. Observe and interpret the non-verbal signals of the mentee. Maintain an atmosphere of friendly neutrality. Dont talk too much.

First Session with Mentee

Introduce yourself first Who you are? What should your mentee call you? Get your mentee to write down your name but be aware that she may not be able to write in English, the Mentoring Programme Co-ordinator will have briefed you about her literacy in both English and her first language. AND/OR Spend the first session finding out what you have in common.

First Session with Mentee

CHECK LIST FOR FIRST SESSION Introductions Have your questions ready, decide on your introduction in advance What have you both got in common? What is mentoring about? be prepared to answer the question Why are you both meeting for a mentoring session?

First Session with Mentee

You will need to outline some sort of Ground Rules or Contract. See example of a contract. Complete the Mentor/Mentee Contact Sheet in the first session Log Sheet photocopy the log sheet in your folder Have prepared your set of open-ended questions See examples in your guidelines both in First Session and in Active Listening

Mentor/Mentee Contract
This contract is to encourage both Mentor and Mentee to think about the relationship and what you expect from the mentoring process. Some examples of mutual agreements are: Attend all mentoring sessions as agreed Arrive on time for mentoring sessions Let each other know if there are any changes to the arrangements Respect confidentiality Add your own: Contract Points Mentors Name Mentees Name Signature Date

Action Planning and Target Setting

The targets should be: Clear and precise Realistic Limited in number Achievable Interesting and challenging Monitored over the agreed timescale Revised as appropriate

Action Planning and Target Setting

Specific and clear Measurable Achievable Relevant Time limited

Action Planning and Target Setting

Target Action Date for Completion Progress Update

MENTORING PROGRAMME LOG SHEET

Mentors Name: Mentees Initials Date: Session #: Content of Todays Session: Additional notes on session: Targets set: Mentee: Mentor: What went well? What went wrong? What skills I used today Would I do anything differently? Any problems? (mentee, journey etc) Date & time of next meeting:

ENDING THE MENTORING

You may come to realise that the mentoring relationship is just not going to work: You must ensure that your mentee is given an opportunity to signal their need for ending. You need to manage positively any differences that may have arisen between you and your mentee. You need to be aware of limits of own competence and responsibilities. The ending process needs to include a review and mutually agreed summary of the interaction between you both. In any case, mentoring comes to an end when mentee has had their one year or equivalent.

PREPARING THE LAST SESSION

As the end of the programme approaches, decide when your last meeting date will be. Prepare your mentee for the approach of the last session by beginning to talk about the end of your meetings together. Begin to do this about three sessions before the last one, and mention the end at every meeting from then on. Give them the date of the last meeting. It is recommended that the last session will be only about saying good-bye. Reflect on all the positive aspects of the relationship, be as specific as you can, letting them know what made the meetings successful for you

PREPARING THE LAST SESSION

Then begin to look at the work you did together, again being as detailed as possible, and describing what you perceive to be real achievements. Ask them to do the same. If you are going to do this work in the last session, and you bring a card for them, then you can mention all these things there, so that they have something written down to go away with. Apart from looking back at the work youve done together, also look forward. Your mentee will have other support in their lives, and when mentoring is finished, explore who will be supporting them. There is a handout called Support Networks, if you havent already used it with your mentee, do it now. Bring to their attention all the people in their life who will continue to offer support.

PREPARING THE LAST SESSION

Your mentee may have gained confidence, and acquired skills which they may want to use by becoming a mentor themselves, sharing with another person their experience of mentoring. Decide in advance if you would like to be in contact with them when mentoring has ended, and in what form that contact will take, for example: through emails, occasionally exchanging news? meeting once a month? phoning for news and update? sending birthday/religious cards? will you exchange addresses?

PREPARING THE LAST SESSION

Finally, the end of the last session think about how you would like that to be, for example: with a hug/handshake? with a present/card taking photos of you together? Endings are as important as beginnings, and can be painful to experience. It is important, however, to model a positive ending, sharing whats been good and useful about meeting. This kind of ending lays the foundations for future positive endings for your mentee.

SUPPORT NETWORKS
Mentoring is about enabling and supporting others. The notion of support needs looking at closely. All of us have people and other sources of support to which we can turn when we need it. But what one person finds supportive another may find inhibiting.

SUPPORT NETWORKS
family member partner

work colleague

Who gives me support?

neighbour

doctor

friend voluntary agency

health visitor

Mentoring Tools
Mentoring Wheel Mentee Assessment Form Mentor objectives & targets

MENTORING WHEEL OF LIFE Physical Environment Career Fun and Recreation Finances Health and Fitness Personal Development Significant Other / Romance Friends and Family Our life can be represented by the eight areas above. When they are all in balance we feel fulfilled and successful. Assess how fulfilled you feel in each area by drawing a straight or curved line in each segment to create a new outer edge. The centre of the wheel represents 0 ie no fulfillment and the outer edge equals 10 ie complete fulfillments.

Review & Action Planning

1. What are you feeling now? 2. What have you heard or seen today that has inspired you? 3. What changes will you make to you practice as a result of attending this workshop?

Slide 88

Mentoring Socratic Direction

Developing the protg by asking the right questions Questions Statements Pauses
Reformulated question

Socrates

Information Thoughts Opinions

Answe r Mentor

Question

Mentee

Direction of learning

Answer

Slide 89