ELT- 702 Academic Writing

Data commentary
by, Betl GLERYZ Osman AYDOAR 16.03.2012

 While data commentaries may be "stand-alone"

pieces of writing, they generally occur in the Results or Discussion sections of a report or thesis. The main purposes of a data commentary are to present the results of research, interpret these results, and to discuss the significance and implications of the results.

 Data can often be best expressed by a chart,

graph, table, or other illustration. The type of writing that accompanies a visual display is called data commentary.

 The data should be presented and analysed in logical manner;

in other words you are expected to analyse and evaluate the data, not just describe it.

Why use a data commentary?

Highlight results
Assess standard theories, common beliefs, or

generals practices in light of the results

Compare and evaluate different data sets

Assess the reliability of data in terms of the methods that produced it

 Discuss implications of the data Calls attention to something not directly apparent from the table, chart, or graph. Analyzes data for a reason: to support a claim which in turn helps achieve the main goal of the paper.

Structure of Data Commentary

Data commentaries usually have the following

elements in the following order. 1. Location elements and/or summary statements 2. Highlighting statements 3. Discussions of implications, problems, exceptions, recommendations, etc.

Paragraph structure of a data commentary:

Topic sentence (claim)
Location elements and summaries (support) Highlights (examples) Implications (restatement of claim)

Highlighting Statements
The central sections of data commentaries consist of

highlighting statements. Highlighting statements are generalizations that you can draw from the details of the data display. Highlighting statements need good judgment. They are an opportunity to show your intelligence..

 In particular, they are an opportunity for you to

demonstrate
that you can spot trends or regularities in the data, that you can separate more important findings from less

important ones, and that you can make claims of appropriate strength

So, do not
simply repeat all the details in words,
attempt to cover all the information, or claim more than is reasonable or defensible.

Verbs for introducing highlights:

Table 2 shows the most common factors are
Figure 2.3 illustrates the results of a study that

Table 9 demonstrates how the use of

the most common are displayed in Table 3. details of the operation are given in Figure 4.4. these qualities are suggested by Figure 9.3. Other verbs: provide, present, summarize, reveal,

indicate

Language Focus: Linking as-Clauses

These linking clauses (where as does not equal since or

because) are exceptional in English grammar. In the passive, these linking clauses have no subjects. Compare the following sentences. a. As it has been proved, the theory may have practical importance. b. As has been proved, the theory may have practical importance. In sentence a there is a causal relationship between the as-clause and the main clause. Because the theory has been proved, it may have practical importance.

Some Specific ways for qualifying or moderating a claim

1-Probability

2-Distance

3-Generalization

4-Weaker verbs

Indicative Summary
- Indicates what has been done in the work.
Table 5 shows the most common modes of computer

infection for U.S. businesses. Figure 4.2 gives the results of the second experiment.

Indicating the strengths of data results

A reduced speed limit will result in fewer

accidents. A reduced speed limit may result in fewer accidents. A reduced speed limit could result in fewer accidents. It is certain that It is almost certain that It is highly probable that

 It is possible that
It is unlikely that There is a strong possibility that There is a slight possibility that There is a remote possibility that

Informative Summary
- Provides a summary of the data.
Table 5 shows that home disks are the major source of

computer viruses. Table 4.2 suggests that the experimental results confirm the hypothesis.

Table 5. Means of PC Infection in U.S. Businesses

Source Percentage Disks from home Electronic bulletin board Sales demonstration disk Repair or service disk Company, client, or consultant disk Other Undetermined

43% 7% 6% 6% 4% 9% 29%

 1) A computer virus is a program that is specifically and

maliciously designed to attack a computer system, destroying data. 2) As businesses have become increasingly dependent on computer systems, concern over the potential destructiveness of such viruses has also grown. 3) Table 5 shows the most common modes of infection for U.S. businesses.-location and indicative summary
4) As can be seen, in the majority of cases, the source of the

virus infection can be detected, with disks being brought to the workplace from home being by far the most significant (43%). 5) However, it is alarming to note that the source of nearly 30% of viruses cannot be determined.-highlightment

 6) While it may be possible to eliminate home-to-

workplace infection by requiring computer users to run antiviral software on diskettes brought from home, businesses are still vulnerable to major data loss, especially from unidentifiable sources of infection. -implications

Combined qualifications
A strong claim

We add some qualifications

We have a new claim:

Passive voice:
a. The most common modes of infection are shown in

Table 5. b. Details of the fertilizers used are provided in Table 2. c. The results of the second experiment are given in Figure 4.2.

Passive Verbs in Reference to a Visual

Shown in

Illustrated in
Presented in Given in

Listed in
Seen in Provided in

Summarized in
Seen from

Active voice:
a. Table 5 shows the most common modes of

computer infections. b. Table 2 provides details of the fertilizer used. c. Figure 4.2 gives the results of the second experiment

Active Verbs Following Reference to a Visual

Shows
Illustrates Demonstrates Provides Lists Reports

*Presents *Summarizes *Contains *Depicts

In order to investigate the hypothesis that 8-year old boys are more aggressive than 8-year old girls, 8-year old children were observed playing in schoolyards and incidents of certain aggressive behaviors were recorded.

Aggressive behavior Pushing Kicking/Hitting

Cursing Chasing

Girls
21% 15% 9% 78%

Boys
35% 61% 30% 1%

Commentary 1
In order to investigate the hypothesis that 8-year old boys

are more aggressive than 8-year old girls, 8-year old children were observed playing in schoolyards and incidents of certain aggressive behaviors were recorded. 2)Table 1 shows that boys are more aggressive than girls. 3)The percentage of pushing is 21% of girl; on the other hand that of boys is 35%. 4)Except for chasing, the percentage of aggressive behavior is higher in boys. 5)From this data you can agree that boys are more aggressive than girls. (Rating: 73)

Commentary 2
In order to investigate the hypothesis that 8-year old boys

are more aggressive than 8-year old girls, 8-year old children were observed playing in schoolyards and incidents of certain aggressive behaviors were recorded. 2)As you can see in Table 1, we only considered four human aggressive behaviors in our study. 3)The most common children aggressive conduct are pushing, kicking/hitting, cursing, and chasing. 4)After several weeks of observation in different schools playground we found the percentage that appeared on table 1. 5) (See attachment 1) 6) Sixty percent (61%) of the boys like to kick and hit compared to fifteen percent (15%) of the girls. 7)This is more aggressive than chasing. 8)The chasing behavior was the only one girls were more aggressive than boys. (Rating: 77)

Commentary 3
In order to investigate the hypothesis that 8-year old boys

are more aggressive than 8-year old girls, 8-year old children were observed playing in schoolyards and incidents of certain aggressive behaviors were recorded. 2)It was assumed that aggressive behavior consisted of the following: i) pushing, ii) kicking and hitting, iii) cursing, and iv) chasing. 3)As can be seen from the table above, the average 8-year old boy was more aggressive than the 8year old girls. 4)Chasing was the one behavior that was more pronounced for the girls. 5)This result, however, does not disprove the theory since chasing seems to be a less aggressive behavior than the other behaviors that were tested. 6The 8-year old boys got more involved with the more aggressive behavior, which is kicking/hitting, much more than the 8-year old girls. (Rating: 93)

Commentary 4
In order to investigate the hypothesis that 8-year old boys are more

aggressive than 8-year old girls, 8-year old children were observed playing in schoolyards and incidents of certain aggressive behaviors were recorded. 2)At first glance it appears that 8-year old boys exhibit more aggressive behavior than 8-year old girls if all four recorded behaviors are equally weighed. 3)But, this last assertion is false. 4)Since the ability to record will vary with playground size and the number of observers (not to mention the skills of the observers or accounting for children entering or leaving the playground), and that it takes a certain amount of an observer's time to note the behavior, short-lived behaviors such as cursing or pushing could be underrepresented. 5)Simply because more can occur during the time an observer notes another behavior. 6)Conversely, long-lived behaviors such as chasing could be over-represented because they occur over a longer period of time and thus allow more latitude for the observer marking the behavior. (Rating: 93)