The power of listening

Nature gave us one tongue and two ears so we could hear twice as much as we speak.

 In a Biology class, the teacher asked the students to refer to the book entitled Origin of Species by Darwin. One of the students sincerely rummaged through the library bookshelves looking for Oranges and Peaches, but to his utter dismay, he just could not find it. When he approached the teacher, he found to his consternation that the book was entitled origin of species and not what he thought he had heard. Sounds funny! But in reality this embarrassing situation could happen to any of us.

 According to a management guru Tom Peters, listening is an essential management and leadership skill. Similarly effective listening is extremely important for students, as they spend most of their time listening to lectures.

So What is listening?
Listening is a process of receiving, interpreting and reacting to a message received from the speaker. No communication process is complete without listening.
Hearing and listening are not the same.

An executives communication is spent in the following proportion:

Writing- 9% Reading- 16% Speaking- 30% Listening- 45%

Types of listening
1. Appreciative listening 2. relationship listening

3. Comprehensive listening
4. Critical listening 5. discriminative listening

Appreciative listening
The three factors that form the basis of appreciative listening are: Presentations Perception Previous experience

Relationship listening
The purpose of this is to improve ones relationship with the other person. The behaviors needed for this listening are: Attending Supporting empathizing

Comprehensive listening
In this type of listening, the listeners most important concern is to understand the message. There are three requirements of this listening: Vocabulary Concentration memory

Critical listening
In critical listening, we assess and judge what we hear based on our values and beliefs. The three things required for critical listening are: Ethos Logos pathos

Discriminative listening
In discriminative listening we identify the difference between sounds. The differences are important as they express different meanings. Three things needed for this type of listening are: Hearing ability Awareness of sound structure of the language Integration of non-verbal cues.

Roadblocks to listening
Noise- focus on what you are listening to and block out what is not important. Thinking ahead- if you are thinking what to say next then you are hearing and not listening to the speaker. Mind moving too fast- most receivers listen and think at a rate exceeding 1000 words a minute. If you are ahead of the speaker then mind starts wandering. Use this valuable time to review what the speaker has said.

 Lack of attention- we listen to various forms of communication in an unconscious manner thus missing out important information.
Tendency to criticize- it shows lack of interest, narrow views, prejudice and unwillingness to see a different point of view.

Being self- centered- such people find it difficult to take interest in what others say.

 Emotional blocks- it is the tendency to block views that disturb our emotions and develop deafspots. Other negative attitudes- distraction, wandering, mental laziness, poor health and personal anxieties.

Good listening skills

1. Prepare yourself to listen- prepare yourself both mentally and physically. 2. Shift from speaker to listener- do not spend time thinking what you are going to say next. 3. Listen actively- The active listener takes time to listen responds non-verbally Blocks out noise listens with an open mind Provides feedback

4. Being non-evaluative- accept the person without making any judgment of right or wrong, good or bad, suitable or unsuitable. 5. Be patient- the speaker may need time to say. 6. Do not create distractions- like interrupt, advise, question, critisize or take conversation in a different direction. ---------------x------------------x----------------------------.

Listening to non-verbal messages

To be a good listener, you have to be aware of your own body language as a listener as well like: Facial expression, gestures, postures Tone, pitch Omission of facts, failure to explain or give proof shows gaps in speakers knowledge or ability.

L-Look I- Inquire S- Summarise T- Take notes E- encourage N- Neutralise

5 levels of listening
Ignoring Pretending Selective listening Attentive listening Empathic listening

listening

Ignoring

listening

pretending

Selective listening

Attentive listening

Empathic Listening

 thans

 Create a need to listen by thinking about what you can learn from the speaker Set aside the time to listen so that you wont feel rushed or become distracted by other responsibilities Dont prejudge the on who is delivering it. Focus instead on the content of the message. Monitor the way you listen by asking yourself questions such as Did I really pay attention or was I thinking about what I was going to say next? Was there information I missed because I allowed myself to become distracted?

 Prepare to listen by focusing on the speaker Control and eliminate distractions so that you can focus on the message. Dont do anything else (writing, reading, email) but listen Establish appropriate eye contact to show interest See listening as an opportunity to get information, share anothers views, and broaden your own knowledge

to 4.30 p.m. Tuesday through Saturday. There are eight paid holidays during the year. I would be lead accountant in accounts payable. Chip assures her that her notes are correct. What active Listening skills did Audrey demonstrate in this example?

Chip wants to tell Audrey about the possibility of a job opening that she is qualified to hold. Chip tells her that the job involves working with accounts payable for the Asia corporation. Audrey asks, what does the Asia company produce? How many accounts are held by the company?Chip tells her. Chip further explains that the salary will be determined based on her experience and education. Audrey asks, do you know what the salary range might be? Is there a fringe benefit package provided by the company?Chip responds that there is a fringe benefit package but he isnt sure about the salary. Audrey asks, does the fringe benefit include dental insurance? He pulls out a small notebook from her handbag and jots down some notes. Audrey attempts the boom box blaring from the street and moves a little closer to Chip. Chip talks about the hours, job duties. And the other personnel involved in accounts payable. Audrey replies, now, lets make sure I have this correct. The hours are 7.30 a.m.