Enneagram Inservice

Enneagrams
Ken Murray, LCSW
kenmurrayLCSW@gmail.com
Simple to Extremely Complex System

9 Types
Type One-Nine
9 basic types
18 types
Adjacent Type A
Wing
Adjacent Type B
Wing
SelfPreservation
Instinctual Variant
Sexual
Instinctual Variant
Social
Instinctual Variant
54 Variants 486 Possible Variants
Level of Development
Lvl One-Nine
Ken Murray, LCSW
The Triadic Groups
Instinctive (Body) Center Eights, Nines and Ones
Attachment Three, Six, Nine
Assertive Group Three, Seven, Eight
Positive Outlook Two, Seven, Nine
Thinking (Head) Center Fives, Sixes and Sevens
Frustration One, Four, Seven
Dutiful Group One, Two, Six
Competency One, Three, Five
Feeling (Heart) Center Twos, Threes and Fours
Rejection Two, Five, Eight

Withdrawn Group Four, Five, Nine
Intensity Four, Six, Eight
Ken Murray, LCSW
Centers of Intelligence: Head, Heart, and Gut

Each of us has access to all three centers, but some are left dormant Using all in an integrated way helps us get out of the box
Head Center Functions: Gather information Generate Ideas Mental Processing Rational Analysis Planning
Productive Uses Non-Productive Uses Objective Analysis Overanalysis Astute Insight Projection Productive Planning Overplanning
Fives, Sixes and Sevens Engage in extensive mental analysis; value facts, information, and ideas. Share a common concern about safety and trust in response to the Head Center emotion: FEAR
Heart Center Functions: Experiencing feelings Emotional relating Sensitivity to others
Body Center Functions: Movement Physical Sensations Action or Inaction Control
Productive Uses Non-Productive Uses Empathy Emot. Manipulation Authentic Relating Playing Roles Compassion Oversensitivity
Twos, Threes and Fours Want others to respond to them in specific ways and create an image to get the desired results. Concerned about how others perceive them, feel not valued for who they are. SORROW
Productive Uses Effective Action Steadfastness Gut Knowing
Non-Productive Uses Excessive Action Passivity Reactivity
Eights, Nines and Ones Primarily trust their guts and instincts and have different ways for dealing with control that arise from Body Center emotion: ANGER
Ken Murray, LCSW
Centers of Intelligence: Responses to Signature Emotion

Head Center: FEAR Five: Withdraw from fear of intrusion and loss of energy by trying to depend solely on their own resources; gather abundant information to analyze for the purpose of understanding how everything works Six: Develop continuous anticipatory scenarios in order to overcome potential problems and reduce their fear that something could go wrong, and/or go headlong into fearful situations to prove their own courage Seven: Move away from fear of pain, sadness and discomfort by imagining positive future possibilities and by generating exciting ideas rather than feeling fearful or uncomfortable Heart Center: SORROW Two: Create an image of being likable, generous and concerned with other people, then look to others for affirmation of their self-worth Three: Create an image of self-confidence and success, then seek the respect and admiration of others for what they accomplish Four: Create an image of being unique, special and different, then use their emotional sensitivity to avoid feeling not good enough Body Center: ANGER Eight: Readily express anger starting from the gut, believing that anger is simply energy that needs release; exert control by taking charge Nine: Avoid both their own and others anger, seeking instead to mediate differences and create harmony; do not let others control them One: Manifest anger as irritation and resentment, believe anger is a negative emotion that must be kept under control, and exert control by being self-controlled and highly structured.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Dominant Functions of Types (Attitudes and Behaviors)
Five: Mental Focus and Expert KnowledgePotential for curiosity, perceptiveness, acquisition of knowledge, inventive originality, and technical expertise. Negatively, the potential for speculative theorizing, emotional detachment, eccentricity, social isolation, and mental projections. Six: Trust and PerseverancePotential for emotional bonding with others, group identification, sociability, industriousness, loyalty to others, and commitment to larger efforts. Negatively, the potential for dependency, ambivalence, rebelliousness, anxiety, and inferiority feelings. Seven: Spontaneity and Diverse Activity Potential for enthusiasm, productivity, achievement, skill acquisition, and the desire for change and variety. Negatively, the potential for hyperactivity, superficiality, impulsiveness, excessiveness, and escapism. Two: Empathy and Altruism the potential for other-directedness, thoughtfulness for others, genuine self-sacrifice, generosity, and nurturance. Negatively, the potential for intrusiveness, possessiveness, manipulation, and self-deception. Three: Self-Esteem and Self-Development The potential for ambition, self-improvement, personal excellence, professional competence, self-assurance, and social self-distinction. Negatively, the potential for pragmatic calculation, arrogant narcissism, the exploitation of others, and hostility. Four: Self-Awareness and Artistic Creativity The potential for intuition, sensitivity, individualism, self-expression, and self-revelation. Negatively, the potential for self-absorption, self-consciousness, self-doubt, self-inhibition, and depression. Eight: Self-Assertion and Leadership The potential for self-confidence, self-determination, self-reliance, magnanimity, and the ability to take personal initiative. Negatively, the potential for domination of others, crude insensitivity, combativeness, and ruthlessness. Nine: Receptivity and Interpersonal Mediation The potential for emotional stability, acceptance, unself-consciousness, emotional and physical endurance, and creating harmony with others. Negatively, the potential for passivity, disengaged emotions and attention, neglectfulness, and mental dissociation. One: Ethical Standards and Responsibility The potential for moderation, conscience, maturity, self-discipline, and delayed gratification. Negatively, the potential for rigid self-control, impersonal perfectionism, judgmentalism, and self-righteousness.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Harmonics
The Harmonic Groups are useful for transformational work because they indicate how each person copes when they do not get what they want (as indicated by the Center they are in). The Harmonic Groups are important because they reveal the fundamental way that our personality defends against loss and disappointment.
The Positive Outlook Group Respond to conflict and difficulty by adopting a positive attitude, Reframe disappointment in some positive way Look at the bright side of things. Morale-builders Have difficulty facing the dark side of life Do not want to look at anything painful in themselves or others. Has trouble balancing their own needs with the needs of others
The Competency Group Learned to deal with difficulty by putting aside their personal feelings and striving to be objective, effective, and competent Put their subjective needs and feelings on the back burner try to solve problems logically and expect others to do the same have issues related to working within the confines of a structure or a system
Emotional Realness Group React emotionally to conflicts and problems Have difficulties knowing how much to trust other people. Look for an emotional response from others that mirrors their concern. Want the other person to match their emotional state Strong likes and dislikes. Simultaneously trust and distrust others
Ken Murray, LCSW
Main Themes of Harmonic Groups

POSITIVE OUTLOOK GROUP Type TWO SEVEN NINE
Emphasizes Positive self-image. I am a caring, loving person. They focus on their good intentions. Positive experiences, enjoyment, activity, excitement and fun. The positive qualities of others and of their environment. They idealize their world. Avoids Seeing Their own neediness, disappointment, and anger. Their pain and emptiness: their role in creating suffering for self and others. Problems with their loved ones or their environment as well as lack of their own development. Problems With Needs Twos overemphasize the needs of others, and neglect their own needs. Sevens overemphasize their own needs, and easily feel burdened by the needs of others. Nines can feel overwhelmed by their own needs and needs of others. They do not want to deal with either.
COMPETENCY GROUP
ONE
Being correct, organized, and sensible. They focus on standards, improving themselves, and knowing the rules. Being efficient, capable, and outstanding. They focus on goals, being pragmatic, and knowing how to present self. Being the expert and having deep information. They focus on the process, objective facts, and on maintaining clarity and detachment. By repression and denial. Feelings are channeled into activity, getting things done perfectly. Feelings also held as physical rigidity in the body. By repression and keeping attention on tasks, staying active. Achievement offsets painful feelings. Threes look to others for feeling cues. By splitting off and abstracting feelings, Fives stay preoccupied and cerebral, as if their feelings were happening to someone else. Ones want to work with the system. They try to be a good boy or girl, and are irritated with people who disregard the rules. Threes want to work with the system but also like being outside of itbending rules and finding shortcuts. Fives reject the system and want to work on their own, outside of it. They have little patience with rules or procedures.
THREE
FIVE
EMOTIONAL REALNESS (INTENSITY) GROUP

FOUR SIX EIGHT
A rescuer, someone to understand them and support their life and dreams; Fours want to be seen. Both independence and support. Sixes want someone to rely on, but also needs to be the strong one. Independence and self-reliance. Eights want to need others as little as possible, to be their own person. Abandonmentthat no one will care for them; that they will not have enough support to find and become themselves. Being abandoned and without support, but also fears becoming too dependent on others. Being controlled or dominated by others. Thus, they fear intimacy and becoming vulnerable by trusting or caring too much. Keeping others interested by limiting access, playing hard to get, and holding onto supporters. Being committed and reliable while trying to maintain their independence; they are engaging, but also defended. Keeping their guard up, not letting others get too close, and toughening themselves against hurt and their need for others.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Arrows
The Direction of Stress for each type is indicated by the sequence of numbers 1-4-2-8-5-7-1 or 9-6-3-9. An average to unhealthy One under stress will eventually behave like an average to unhealthy Four The Direction of Growth is the opposite of its unhealthy direction. Thus, the sequence for the Direction of Integration is 1-7-5-8-2-4-1 or 9-3-6-9. An integrating One goes to Seven.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Wings
No one is a pure personality type:
Everyone is a unique mixture of his or her basic type and usually one of the two types adjacent to it One of the two types adjacent to your basic type is called your wing (one is dominant)
Basic type dominates your overall personality

Wing complements it and adds important, sometimes contradictory, elements 8w7 The Independent A very aggressive subtype. Blunt, realistic, and extroverted. Consistent in self-presentation- same at work as at home. Cut to the chase, no nonsense. Healthy: Action oriented, Extremely energetic. Combine a quick mind with vision for practical possibilities. Confidently take initiative. Average: Interested in power and experience. A strong business sense. May use their resources to manipulate others. Unhealthy: Ruthless and impulsive.
8w9 The Bear The traits of the Eight and those of the Nine are in some degree of conflict with each other. More domestic than other variant. Exude an aura of quiet strength and of power held in reserve. Healthy: Possess a quiet power and an understated wisdom. Steady in the execution of goals. Calm, reassuring, and protective of others. Average: Discrepancies in their attitudes- hardnosed at work, warm and affectionate at home. Unhealthy: Quietly menacing. Vengeful.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Instinctual Variants (Each One in UsOne is the dominant focus)

Self-Preservation Instinct Preoccupied with the safety, comfort, health, energy, and well-being of the physical body Concerned with having enough resources to meet life's demands Tend to be concerned with food, money, housing, medical matters, and physical comfort Attention naturally goes towards clothes, temperature, shopping, decorating, and the like Tend to be more grounded, practical, serious, and introverted than the other two instinctual types
Sexual Instinct Intense drive for stimulation and a constant awareness of the "chemistry" between themselves and others Immediately aware of the attraction, or lack thereof, between themselves and other people Constantly moving toward that sense of intense stimulation and juicy energy in their relationships and in their activities Most "energized" of the three instinctual types, tend to be more aggressive, competitive, charged, and emotionally intense Enjoy being intensely involvedeven mergedwith others
Social Instinct Adapt themselves to serve the needs of the social situation Highly aware of other people, whether they are in intimate situations or in groups Aware of how their actions and attitudes are affecting those around them Most concerned with doing things that will have some impact on their community, or even broader domains Tend to be warmer, more open, engaging, and socially responsible than the other two types Lose their sense of identity and meaning when they are not involved with others in activities
Ken Murray, LCSW
Centers of Intelligence and Therapy Issues

Head Center Anxiety Trust Overanalysis Heart Center Quality of relationship Value and Prestige Reactions of Others Presentation in Therapy
Fives, Sixes and Sevens Fives: Shy or guarded in affect; brief responses or intellectual verbosity; Can act superior, over-intellectualize and avoid feelings; Loneliness often a motivator; May come to understand emotional and social systems; May easily answer subjects taboo: eating disorders, substance abuse; sexual compulsions; Substance use to quiet social anxiety Sixes: Phobic-Sixes may be anxious and scan environment; Counter-phobic-Sixes may be confrontational and aggressive; Can offer questioning yes-butting contradictory statements; Maybe mistrustful of therapist authority; May talk worst-case scenarios; More likely to last minute cancel apt; Substance use to reduce anxiety; May become isolated and paranoid with use and isolation Sevens: May be curious and interested, minimize pain and difficulty; May be charming and self-referencing, positive spin; Can project an air of superiority on how to live; Come as part of a couple to understand and then flee; Sometimes childhood trauma; Can be critical if pinned down or limited; Substance abuse to reduce pain Twos, Threes and Fours Twos: Can be engaging, seductive and flattering; May be dressed attractively and maximize eye contact; May act emotional; Can be disconnected from own needs; Focused on relationships and caretaking; May be focused on sig. other; Give without boundariesneediness, anger, exhaustion, demands. May abuse substances for anxiety Threes: Workaholics; lists, clichs; Self-image damagedwork or relationship lost; Anxiety often results in positive spin and swing back; Avoid introspection, but do suggestions and tasks well; Substance use may quiet anxiety- mask usage well. Fours: Present as outsiders; Moody, introspective or quietly reserved; Others have dramatic art style; Depression, unresolved grief common; Low selfesteem, feelings of being flawed; Can be angry, provocative or intentionally shocking; Search for authentic, deny the ordinary; Distorted body image; Substance use toward image of artist-addict Eights, Nines and Ones Eights: Big energy and noticeable intensity; Forthright and direct; Play Good Parent role and be protective; May be confrontational and demanding; can readily shift to anger and self-blame; Selfreferencing; may positively spin their behavior; In relationships, can be controlling and overwhelming; In conflict, can seem to have amnesia of own negative behavior, at other times ruthlessly hard on selves. Substance use from excessive sensory pleasure drive and denial of underlying pain Nines: Can be easygoing, pleasant, passive and agreeable; Perhaps difficulty making decisions or defining opinions; May speak in sagas and lots of inessential details; May appear distant and passive in Couples Tx; Diffuse energy and respond slowly; Difficulty identifying own needs, focus on others; May use indirect angry humor and be passive-aggressive; Substance use to numb feelings that could lead to conflict. Ones: Can be self-critical, self-deprecating; Avoid or analyze emotions; May be workaholic; May be depressed or have relationship issues; Prone to compulsive behaviors, anxiety d/o and intrusive thoughts; May be overly fair and truthful; In couples, may be self-righteous. May abuse substances to allow shadow side of morals
Body Center Direct Action Control Honesty and Clarity
Ken Murray, LCSW
Levels of Development and Behaviors/Attitudes

Level 1: The Level of Liberation Level 2: The Level of Psychological Capacity Level 3: The Level of Social Value Level 4: The Level of Imbalance/Social Role Level 5: The Level of Interpersonal Control Level 6: The Level of Overcompensation
General Behavior Can respond out of choice rather than habit Responds out of habit most of the time Self-Awareness Accesses and is honest about own thoughts, feelings, behaviors. Realistic self-image; Self observant usually Can be self aware, but not routinely a priority; more difficult task under duress. Intermittently self-observing Responsiveness to Feedback Welcomes feedback and uses it constructively. Can distinguish between opinion and accurate feedback Sometimes responds to feedback, but can also over- or underrespond to feedback. Self-Responsibility Takes full responsibility for own actions Can act self-responsibly, but also has difficulty differentiating own responsibilities from that of others. Self-Motivation Is highly self-motivated and self-determining Partially self-motivated. Expects others to be the motivating force. Self-Management In control without being over self-controlled or controlling. Sometimes makes conscious choices, but more often is on autopilot Emotional Maturity Can rise above personal responses to understand multiple factors and perspective affecting a situation most of the time. Moderate to low emotional maturity; fluctuates between reactivity and perspective of self/others Integrity Generally has positive values, but behaviors not always consistent kenmurrayLCSW@gmail.com Behaves and acts inconsistently with values or has destructive Has low emotional maturity; perceives self as victim Is over-controlled or out of control; behavior is highly reactive. Either unmotivated or motivated by negative factors like internal fears or external threats Distorted perceptions of own motivation; Sees others as causing their behavior; Projects own thoughts/feelings onto others. Defends against, denies, and ignores feedback or blames others when criticized. Unaware of own thoughts, feelings, behaviors or dishonest about true motivations. Reactive, unproductive behavior most of the time
Level 7: The Level of Violation Level 8: The Level of Obsession and Compulsion. Level 9: The Level of Pathological Destructiveness
Has positive values and walks the talk Ken Murray, LCSW
Overview of Types
Ken Murray, LCSW
Enneagram Types
1 THE REFORMER The Rational, Idealistic Type: Principled, Purposeful, Self-Controlled, and Perfectionistic 6 THE LOYALIST The Committed, Security-Oriented Type: Engaging, Responsible, Anxious, and Suspicious
2 THE HELPER The Caring, Interpersonal Type: Demonstrative, Generous, People-Pleasing, and Possessive
7 THE ENTHUSIAST The Busy, Fun-Loving Type: Spontaneous, Versatile, Distractible, and Scattered
3 THE ACHIEVER The Success-Oriented, Pragmatic Type: Adaptive, Excelling, Driven, and Image-Conscious
4 THE INDIVIDUALIST The Sensitive, Withdrawn Type: Expressive, Dramatic, Self-Absorbed, and Temperamental
8 THE CHALLENGER The Powerful, Dominating Type: Self-Confident, Decisive, Willful, and Confrontational
5 THE INVESTIGATOR The Intense, Cerebral Type: Perceptive, Innovative, Secretive, and Isolated
9 THE PEACEMAKER The Easygoing, Self-Effacing Type: Receptive, Reassuring, Agreeable, and Complacent
Ken Murray, LCSW
The Program of Perfection and Resentment

Talk Style: Preach and Teach
Zero defects. Sustain Strive for Quality Organized Perceptive Honest Critical Opinionated Impatient
Develop Reactive
Want to be valued and accepted without criticism, reservations, or conditions; however, act so critically toward others that they push people away, and are so self-critical that they would not really believe that someone else could value them without also judging them.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Type 1: The Reformer

Ones are conscientious and ethical, with a strong sense of right and wrong. They are teachers, crusaders, and advocates for change: always striving to improve things, but afraid of making a mistake. Well-organized, orderly, and fastidious, they try to maintain high standards, but can slip into being critical and perfectionistic. They typically have problems with resentment and impatience. At their Best: wise, discerning, realistic, and noble. Can be morally heroic. Basic Fear: Of being corrupt/evil, defective Basic Desire: To be good, to have integrity, to be balanced Key Motivations: Want to be right, to strive higher and improve everything, to be consistent with their ideals, to justify themselves, to be beyond criticism so as not to be condemned by anyone. The Meaning of the Arrows: When moving in their Direction of Disintegration (stress), methodical Ones suddenly become moody and irrational at Four. However, when moving in their Direction of Integration (growth), angry, critical Ones become more spontaneous and joyful, like healthy Sevens.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Ones: Interacting With Them

How to Get Along with Ones Take your share of the responsibility so I don't end up with all the work. Acknowledge my achievements. I'm hard on myself. Reassure me that I'm fine the way I am. Tell me that you value my advice. Be fair and considerate, as I am. Apologize if you have been unthoughtful. It will help me to forgive. Gently encourage me to lighten up and to laugh at myself when I get uptight, but hear my worries first. CARDINAL RULES WHEN WORKING WITH ONES Neatness counts Be polite and considerate Be on time Gentle teasing and humor go a long way Go through proper channels Admit your mistakes and mean it Play by the rules Ask what if questions rather than disagreeing Remember theyre trying to help when nitpicking Ask permission before taking them to task Give reasons for your position based on objective data
Appeal To: Duty Ethics Procedures The Golden Rule Canon Law
Dont Appeal To: The Quick, Dirty Fix Because I Said So
Ken Murray, LCSW
Type 1: The Reformer

Level 1: Become extraordinarily wise and discerning. By accepting what is, they become transcendentally realistic, knowing the best action to take in each moment. Humane, inspiring, and hopeful: the truth will be heard. Level 2: Conscientious with strong personal convictions: they have an intense sense of right and wrong, personal religious and moral values. Wish to be rational, reasonable, self-disciplined, mature, moderate in all things. Level 3: Extremely principled, always want to be fair, objective, and ethical: truth and justice primary values. Sense of responsibility, personal integrity, and of having a higher purpose often make them teachers and witnesses to the truth. Level 4: Dissatisfied with reality, they become high-minded idealists, feeling that it is up to them to improve everything: crusaders, advocates, critics. Into "causes" and explaining to others how things "ought" to be. Level 5: Afraid of making a mistake: everything must be consistent with their ideals. Become orderly and well-organized, but impersonal, puritanical, emotionally constricted, rigidly keeping their feelings and impulses in check. Often workaholics"anal-compulsive," punctual, pedantic, and fastidious. Level 6: Highly critical both of self and others: picky, judgmental, perfectionistic. Very opinionated about everything: correcting people and badgering them to "do the right thing"as they see it. Impatient, never satisfied with anything unless it is done according to their prescriptions. Moralizing, scolding, abrasive, and indignantly angry. Level 7: Can be highly dogmatic, self-righteous, intolerant, and inflexible. Begin dealing in absolutes: they alone know "The Truth." Everyone else is wrong: very severe in judgments, while rationalizing own actions. Level 8: Become obsessive about imperfection and the wrong-doing of others, although they may fall into contradictory actions, hypocritically doing the opposite of what they preach. Level 9: Become condemnatory toward others, punitive and cruel to rid themselves of "wrong-doers." Severe depressions, nervous breakdowns, and suicide attempts are likely. Generally corresponds to the Obsessive-Compulsive and Depressive personality disorders.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Ones: 1w9
Ones with this wing can have an aura of 9-like calm although eruptions of temper are possible. Often have a detached quality and can be mistaken for Fives. Tendency to formulate and embrace principles that have little human content, but this is also their strength. When awakened, may be objective and balanced, cool and moderate in their evaluations. More entranced, might have perfectionistic expectations that are not humanly possible to meet. May hold social or political opinions that are supremely logical but ultimately heartless and draconian. The rules come first no matter what. Can be merciless or unwittingly cruel. Often a little colorless in their personal appearance. Many Ones with this wing are plain dressers, preferring functional clothing that is appropriate to context but not flashy. The emphasis on function may extend to their general lifestyle. Practicality is highly valued. Real-Life Ones With a 9 Wing: The culture of the Amish, David Brower, Angela Davis, Michael Dukakis, Harrison Ford, Ralph Nader, John Cardinal O'Connor, Colin Powell, the culture of the Puritans, Yitzhak Rabin, Vanessa Redgrave, Bernard Shaw.
Movie Ones With a 9 Wing: Henry Fonda, On Golden Pond; Harrison Ford, The Mosquito Coast; Alec Guinness, The Bridge On The River Kwai; Katharine Hepburn, Rooster Cogburn; Anthony Hopkins, The Remains Of The Day; Jack Lemmon, Missing; Lilia Skala, Lillies Of The Field; Tom Skerritt, A River Runs Through It.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Ones: 1w2
This wing generally brings more interpersonal warmth. High standards are tempered by humanism. May understand and partly forgive humanity for not doing its best. Work hard to improve the conditions of others, sacrificing time and energy to do good works. When more entranced, can be volatile and self-righteous. Authoritarian inflation and moral vanity on the low side. Can give scolding lectures or display a kind of touchy emotionalism. "Do as I say, not as I do" attitudes possible. Hypocrisy likely because the person is so convinced they have moral good intentions. Overlook inconsistencies in their own behavior. Dependency in relationships. Far more likely to be a jealous intimate subtype than Ones with a 9 wing. Real-Life Ones With a 2 Wing: Jane Alexander, William Bennett, John Bradshaw, Susan Brownmiller, Hillary Clinton, Barry Goldwater, Lillian Hellman, Glenda Jackson, Miss Manners, Gregory Peck, H. Ross Perot, Sidney Poitier, Marilyn Quayle, Meryl Streep, Joanne Woodward.
Movie Ones With a 2 Wing: Norma Aleandro, The Official Story; Glenn Close, The World According To Garp; Katharine Hepburn, Summertime; Glenda Jackson, House Calls; Gregory Peck, To Kill A Mockingbird; Joan Plowright, Enchanted April; Sam Waterston, The Killing Fields.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Ones: Instinctual Variants

As a Perfectionist, you believe that there is a correct or right way to live, and you vigilantly scan for standards that are being violated and need to be restored and respected. The anger (or guilt) that you feel is a signal that something or somebody (including yourself) is wrong and needs to be corrected or punished. You express and neutralize anger (or guilt) by righting wrongs or correcting errors. This energy manifests differently through three instinctual subtypes.
Self-preservation: Worry and anxiety/tenseness You believe that your very survival depends upon getting things right. Your life is about shoulds instead of wants and desires. You channel anger (or guilt) into perennial worry and anxiety about doing the right thing and not making mistakes. You dont believe the world is either generous or forgiving, so ultimately you worry alone. You resent the unfairness of life, but so what? You still must avoid the annihilating punishment from your inner critic, the thought-and-desire policeman. So you keep busy doing self-preservation tasks that keep the anxiety away, such as cleaning, keeping things in order or stocking up on provisions. You attempt to assert control and impose order over the natural world in matters of self-survival. It can look like you would rather be right than happy. Rightness becomes an imperative despite your desire and longing. At your worst, this worry can become very limiting and accompanied by much inner tension and little pleasure Social: Inadaptability/inflexibility In the social domain, you channel your desire for rightness and its associated tension and anger into correct positions. You make the system better or right according to your absolute standards. You become a social reformer so to speak. Where these are concerned, you become inadaptable or inflexible, and screen out evidence contrary to your fervent position. You not only find what is wrong with other groups, causes and convictions, but you also see what is wrong about your own group. There is one right way and you must support it. While you may become comfortable temporarily with a secure social role and clear set of rules, you later resent and then become driven to correct deviance from the correct standards. At your worst, you can become possessed by righteous anger and dominated by black-white thinking characterized by an inability to see differing viewpoints. One-to-One: Zealousness/heat You guard intimate relationships and become vigilant and zealous about your conduct, your partners conduct or that of special others. You feel that nobody should violate your right to pleasure youve earned it! You express anger through fierce zealousness at the presumed violation of your high standards. Nobody should take what is rightfully yours. She shouldnt do what she is doing. Special others must adhere to correct behavior and standards. You shouldnt. Youre wrong. This zealousness encompasses the violation of anything you judge as important in the relationship a confidence, time spent together, getting undeserved recognition or fidelity. At your worst, you get totally possessive and intolerant, monitoring situations and special others, even flaming up in righteous rage.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Type 1
This cartoon shows the happy potential that's possible for the Type One personality.When the critical super ego in their head either dissolves or is seen through, the person can trust their deeper instincts and intelligence. This allows them to be spontaneous, happy, tolerant, loving and flexible while still being able to be disciplined and fundamentally good.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Preaching to themselves and others, worrying about details, easily irritated, seeing what's wrong and what needs to be corrected and judging everything and everyone as an automatic response. Eye for detail, self disciplined, organized, immaculate, being fundamentally a good person and being able to see how to improve things, there are certainly negatives as well. Most with this personality are driven by a strong voice coming from their conscience that orders them about and judges everything they do, which makes them feel uptight with worry that they'll make a mistake. Or even worse they fear their human instincts will pour out and they'll act like an animal. Since they go through life bottling up their natural urges as a way to be good they feel that if they let them out then they'll be bad. The underlying unconscious feeling that they're resisting is imperfection. This creates a lot of stress for this type as they actively seek strategies to rid themselves of this fear of being imperfect. (Allowing yourself to feel imperfect can lead to freedom. Allowing yourself to acknowledge that we're all imperfect alleviates the stress and helps us to see life in broader terms than just 'good' and 'bad'.
This is how it can be for this type of personality if they take their ideal of perfection too far and we've all come across people like this in parents, and especially the teaching field and religion. Rigidly pursuing perfection at the expense of everything else leads to an unhappy and unnatural way to live. Often we see these types in religion where they preach ideals (which are too strict even for themselves, so they secretly act out the behaviors they're preaching against.)
Type 1
Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder may begin at Level 6. Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder may begin at Level 8. Excessive use of diets, vitamins, and cleansing techniques (fasts, diet pills, enemas). Under-eating for self-control: in extreme cases anorexia and bulimia. Alcohol to relieve tension.
Ones typically run from imperfection or being wrong and seek righteousness. They run towards perfection, correcting and cleaning things as they go. Without meaning to they see what's wrong first and don't feel they'll be happy until things have been made right. They're often principled perfectionists who finally learn to relax.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Type 1
Ken Murray, LCSW
Personality Type One as a Parent
Ken Murray, LCSW
Type 1
Ken Murray, LCSW
The Program of Helpfulness With Manipulation

Talk Style: Help and Advice
I am needed.
Sustain Empathetic Supportive Motivating Warm Develop Accommodating Indirect Feeling Unappreciated Tend to Overextend
Want to have their own desires materialize- for example, their desire to be appreciated and supported, to get rest, and to follow their own dreams. However, they spend so much time and energy helping others that they often are either unaware of what their own needs truly are or downplay their desires, giving little indication that they, too, want something.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Type 2: The Helper

Twos are empathetic, sincere, and warm-hearted. They are friendly, generous, and self-sacrificing, but can also be sentimental, flattering, and people-pleasing. They are well-meaning and driven to be close to others, but can slip into doing things for others in order to be needed. They typically have problems with possessiveness and with acknowledging their own needs. At their Best: unselfish and altruistic, they have unconditional love for others. Basic Fear: Of being unwanted, unworthy of being loved Basic Desire: To feel loved Key Motivations: Want to be loved, to express their feelings for others, to be needed and appreciated, to get others to respond to them, to vindicate their claims about themselves. The Meaning of the Arrows (in brief) When moving in their Direction of Disintegration (stress), needy Twos suddenly become aggressive and dominating at Eight. However, when moving in their Direction of Integration (growth), prideful, self-deceptive Twos become more self-nurturing and emotionally aware, like healthy Fours.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Twos: Interacting With Them

How to Get Along with Twos Tell me that you appreciate me. Be specific. Share fun times with me. Take an interest in my problems, though I will probably try to focus on yours. Let me know that I am important and special to you. Be gentle if you decide to criticize me. In Intimate Relationships Reassure me that I am interesting to you. Reassure me often that you love me. Tell me I'm attractive and that you're glad to be seen with me. CARDINAL RULES WHEN WORKING WITH TWOS Face-to-face contact is best Be generous with praise, approval, affection and approbation Never embarrass a two Speak from real needs without whining Be personal Dont try to bully them or lead by the nose Dont try to meet their needs the way that they meet yours Make deposits in their favor bank. Dont ask questions like what they need Dont be dismayed to see them socializing at work
Ken Murray, LCSW
Appeal To: Personal Relationship Their desire to help Their talent with people Their Influence Their Indispensability Their Powerful Networks
Dont Appeal To: Scientific Evidence Theories Surveys Economic Trends
Type 2: The Helper

Level 1: Become deeply unselfish, humble, and altruistic: giving unconditional love to self and others. Feel it is a privilege to be in the lives of others. Level 2: Empathetic, compassionate, feeling for others. Caring and concerned about their needs. Thoughtful, warm-hearted, forgiving and sincere. Level 3: Encouraging and appreciative, able to see the good in others. Service is important, but takes care of self too: they are nurturing, generous, and givinga truly loving person. Level 4: Want to be closer to others, so start "people pleasing," becoming overly friendly, emotionally demonstrative, and full of "good intentions" about everything. Give seductive attention: approval, "strokes," flattery. Love is their supreme value, and they talk about it constantly. Level 5: Become overly intimate and intrusive: they need to be needed, so they hover, meddle, and control in the name of love. Want others to depend on them: give, but expect a return: send double messages. Enveloping and possessive: the codependent, self-sacrificial person who cannot do enough for otherswearing themselves out for everyone, creating needs for themselves to fulfill. Level 6: Increasingly self-important and self-satisfied, feel they are indispensable, although they overrate their efforts in others' behalf. Hypochondria, becoming a "martyr" for others. Overbearing, patronizing, presumptuous. Level 7: Can be manipulative and self-serving, instilling guilt by telling others how much they owe them and make them suffer. Abuse food and medication to "stuff feelings" and get sympathy. Undermine people, making belittling, disparaging remarks. Extremely self-deceptive about their motives and how aggressive and/or selfish their behavior is. Level 8: Domineering and coercive: feel entitled to get anything they want from others: the repayment of old debts, money, sexual favors. Level 9: Able to excuse and rationalize what they do since they feel abused and victimized by others and are bitterly resentful and angry. Somatization of their aggressions result in chronic health problems as they vindicate themselves by "falling apart" and burdening others. Generally corresponds to the Histrionic Personality Disorder and Factitious Disorder.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Twos: 2w1
This wing brings conscience and emotional containment to the basic Two style. When healthy, they act from general principles about the value of serving others. Ethics come before pride. May hold themselves to high standards. More discreet and respectful of other people's boundaries. When upset, tend to go quiet and experience strong emotions internally. More melancholy than Twos with a 3 wing. When less healthy and entranced, tend to confuse their sense of mission with self-centered needs. Go blind to their own motives; invade and dominate others. Believe their actions are perfectly justified by their ethic of helping. May repress their personal desires and focus on others as a way to avoid guilty dilemma between the rules and their inner needs. If really blind they will warp their ethics crazily to justify personal selfishness and prideful hostility. Real-Life Twos With a 1 Wing: Alan Alda, Yasser Arafat, Harry Belafonte, T. Berry Brazelton, Ken Burns, Barbara Bush, Jesus Christ, Glenn Close, Bill Cosby, Betty Friedan, Danny Glover, Pamela Harriman, Jerry Lewis, Yoko Ono, Mr. Rogers, Virginia Satir, Desmond Tutu. Movie Twos With a 1 Wing: Kathy Bates, Misery; Joan Cusack, Men Don't Leave; Piper Laurie, Carrie; Laurence Luckinbill, Star Trek V - The Final Frontier; Kate Nelligan, The Prince Of Tides; Barbra Streisand, The Way We Were; Marlo Thomas, In The Spirit; Charles White Eagle, Three Warriors.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Twos: 2w3
This wing brings Twos an extra measure of sociability and the capacity to make things happen. When healthy, can be charming, good-natured and heartfelt. Really get things done, serve effectively on projects that involve the well-being of others. Thrive on group process and are generally good communicators. Enjoy keeping several threads or projects going at once. Entranced Twos with a 3 wing can be quite emotionally competitive and controlling. 3 wing brings a double dose of vanity. Strong tendency to live in one's images. May grow brazenly deluded, preferring their glamorous, self-important scenarios to reality. Tendencies to deceit and emotional calculation. Highly manipulative. This wing is also more extroverted; dramatization of feeling in the form of hysterical snit-fits is far more possible. Real-Life Twos With a 3 Wing: Leo Buscaglia, Kathie Lee Gifford, Leona Helmsley, Whitney Houston, Arianna Huffington, Sally Kirkland, Susan Lucci, Madonna, Imelda Marcos, Susan Powter, Nancy Reagan, Danielle Steel, Richard Thomas, Jennifer Tilly, John Travolta, Ivana Trump, Xuxa. Movie Twos With a 3 Wing: Glenn Close, Meeting Venus; Maynard Eziashi, Mr. Johnson; Joel Grey, Man On A Swing; William Hurt, Kiss Of The Spider Woman; Angela Lansbury, The Manchurian Candidate; Shirley MacLaine, Postcards From The Edge; Madonna, Truth Or Dare, Michel Serrault, La Cage Aux Folles; Meryl Streep, She-Devil.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Twos: Instinctual Variants

As a Giver, the pride of fulfilling others needs is a survival strategy that you believe will assure love and approval. This strategy manifests itself through the instinctual subtypes, which serve to compensate for the loss of the original state of giving and receiving freely. You know best what others need or desire even before they know it themselves. It is reassuring to be indispensable even though it feels like a burden.
Self-preservation: Privilege You assure your survival indirectly through earning privilege by meeting the needs of others in your life, especially important others. Being personable, nurturing and supportive of others helps create a sense of entitlement. Your pride manifests as a sense that you deserve to have your needs met: Ive given so much. Its my turn to have my thirst quenched. You deserve a special seat, nice clothes, attention and to go first. You can get upset or emotional, when they havent honored you or given you preferential treatment. In this way you protect your position as a selfless giver while assuring that your own needs get met. At your worst, however, you can become preoccupied with and demanding of what you believe you need for nurturance and personal survival, such as being taken care of, attended to or put first. Social: Ambition Your pride manifests itself in the social arena by giving to those in position or power, thus assuring prominence, even indispensability in the special group, family or organization. You manifest your ambition and desire for distinction indirectly through your indispensability and attachment to visible social accomplishments and linking people and groups together. You gain stature and a positive public image through your alliances and alignment with mentors, authorities and leaders. You gain prominence through helper roles in visible social groups, work or causes. Or you become the hub of the family. In all these settings you look after the groups well-being, which bolsters your feeling lovable and hence worthy. At your worst, however, you can disparage and/or simply reject others inputs and contributions, believing that only you know what is really needed. One-to-One: Seduction/aggression Here you manifest pride by being personally needed, attuned to the other and empathetic. You feel that you can meet the needs and desires of a special other better than anyone else, thus gaining approval. You seduce by matching to the feeling tones in others and altering subtly to your desired others emotional state. You seek attention and affection by giving what is needed and being flattering to the noteworthy other, thus putting yourself in a place of prominence. Using your active energy assertively or aggressively, you captivate and capture the special other by taking on his/her interests, making him/her feel good, and matching exquisitely to what is required to win the other one. At your worst, you paradoxically become possessive and demand indirectly through emotion or by complaining about your unfulfilled needs and desires.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Type 2
Here is a happy type Two personality who is no longer being driven by the underlying, unconscious feeling that they're worthless.
Here is what it's like for the typical Two personality type. Feeling worthless creates a neediness that drives the person to look after everybody whether it's wanted or not. These people feel genuine love and compassion for everyone they help and they're often inspirational. Yet however much they give they can never quite get rid of that awful feeling that deep down they're worthless and they can never find other people to help them like they look after others. Allowing themselves to acknowledge and feel the worthlessness allows them the opportunity to be free from this unconscious feeling which they work so hard to resist. When they allow this feeling to be consciously felt they discover their real value (which is priceless no matter how much they give or not).
When a person with this personality type believes they need to do more and give more, no matter what, they can end up desperately and slavishly giving to others and desperately seeking love for their efforts.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Type 2
Histrionic Personality Disorder may begin at Levels 4-5. Somatization Disorder may begin at Level 6. Hypochondriasis may begin at Level 7. Abusing food and over-thecounter medications. Bingeing, especially on sweets and carbohydrates. Over-eating from feeling "love-starved;" in extreme cases bulimia. Hypochondria to look for sympathy.
This personality type is often known as the helper. They feel worthwhile helping others and giving advice. They're big hearted, sweet and loving but can unknowingly be sacrificing their own desires because they're so busy looking after everyone else.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Ken Murray, LCSW
Personality Type Two as a Parent
Ken Murray, LCSW
Type 2
Ken Murray, LCSW
The Program of Achievement with Emphasis on Image

Talk Style: Self-Promotion
Just do it. Sustain Energetic Entrepreneurial Confident Results Oriented Abrupt Overly focused Selectively Disclosing
Develop Competitive
Threes want to be valued for who they are rather than just for what they do; however, because they try to create a positive image and share only what they achieve, no one really knows the person behind the persona.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Type 3: The Achiever

Threes are self-assured, attractive, and charming. Ambitious, competent, and energetic, they can also be status-conscious and highly driven for advancement. They are diplomatic and poised, but can also be overly concerned with their image and what others think of them. They typically have problems with workaholism and competitiveness. At their Best: self-accepting, authentic, everything they seem to berole models who inspire others. Basic Fear: Of being worthless Basic Desire: To feel valuable and worthwhile Key Motivations: Want to be affirmed, to distinguish themselves from others, to have attention, to be admired, and to impress others. The Meaning of the Arrows: When moving in their Direction of Disintegration (stress), driven Threes suddenly become disengaged and apathetic at Nine. However, when moving in their Direction of Integration (growth), vain, deceitful Threes become more cooperative and committed to others, like healthy Sixes.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Threes: Interacting With Them

How to Get Along with Threes Leave me alone when I am doing my work. Give me honest, but not unduly critical or judgmental, feedback. Help me keep my environment harmonious and peaceful. Don't burden me with negative emotions. Tell me you like being around me. Tell me when you're proud of me or my accomplishments.
CARDINAL RULES WHEN WORKING WITH THREES Get on their list Be prepared and well organized and get right to the point Dont interrupt when they are in go gear Do what you say you are going to do Set clear parameters for success Notice and reward their efforts Provide short range plans and regular feedback Dont compete with them, collaborate Dont look to them for emotional strokes for a job well donethey expect it.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Appeal To: Dont Appeal To: The Bottom Line Warm, fuzzy Effectiveness vibes Efficiency The need to Image pace or slow Winning down The Competition Their Career Path
Type 3: The Achiever

Level 1 (At Their Best): Self-accepting, inner-directed, and authentic, everything they seem to be. Modest and charitable, self-deprecatory humor and a fullness of heart emerge. Gentle and benevolent. Level 2: Self-assured, energetic, and competent with high self-esteem: they believe in themselves and their own value. Adaptable, desirable, charming, and gracious. Level 3: Ambitious to improve themselves, to be "the best they can be"often become outstanding, a human ideal, embodying widely admired cultural qualities. Highly effective: others are motivated to be like them in some positive way. Level 4: Highly concerned with their performance, doing their job well, constantly driving self to achieve goals as if self-worth depends on it. Terrified of failure. Compare self with others in search for status and success. Become careerists, social climbers, invested in exclusivity and being the "best." Level 5: Become image-conscious, highly concerned with how they are perceived. Begin to package themselves according to the expectations of others and what they need to do to be successful. Pragmatic and efficient, but also premeditated, losing touch with their own feelings beneath a smooth facade. Problems with intimacy, credibility, and "phoniness" emerge. Level 6: Want to impress others with their superiority: constantly promoting themselves, making themselves sound better than they really are. Narcissistic, with grandiose, inflated notions about themselves and their talents. Exhibitionistic and seductive, as if saying "Look at me!" Arrogance and contempt for others is a defense against feeling jealous of others and their success. Level 7: Fearing failure and humiliation, they can be exploitative and opportunistic, covetous of the success of others, and willing to do "whatever it takes" to preserve the illusion of their superiority. Level 8: Devious and deceptive so that their mistakes and wrongdoings will not be exposed. Untrustworthy, maliciously betraying or sabotaging people to triumph over them. Delusionally jealous of others Level 9: Become vindictive, attempting to ruin others' happiness. Relentless, obsessive about destroying whatever reminds them of their own shortcomings and failures. Psychopathic, murder. Generally corresponds to the Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Threes: 3w2
Threes with this wing are often highly gregarious. They have a tendency towards persona - playing a role of themselves in real life. Social perception, prestige and recognition important. Healthy side brings personal warmth, leadership qualities. Sincere desire to do well by others; may be genuinely nice people. If they have achieved some measure of success they are generous in their mentorship of others. When more entranced, they are preoccupied with seeming ideal to others. This can extend to friendships, family, as well as at work. Want to seem a perfect spouse, friend, parent, employee, good son or daughter. Strong social focus because they need so much validation from others. Preening and boastful behavior possible. Bursts of egotism. Wanting to be on top, better than others. Slip into impersonation easily, may falsify feeling and not know it themselves.al nutrition. Deep emotional recognition is Malicious intentional deceit possible. Behavior of con-artists and sociopaths.
Real-Life Threes With a 2 Wing: Ron Brown, Dick Clark, Cindy Crawford, Joan Crawford, Tom Cruise, (Mrs.) Debbi Fields, Vince Lombardi, Joan Lunden, Ali MacGraw, Reba McEntire, Demi Moore, Oliver North, Elvis Presley, Burt Reynolds, Anthony Robbins, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Cybill Shepherd, O.J. Simpson, Will Smith, Sharon Stone, Kathleen Turner, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Marianne Williamson, Oprah Winfrey, Natalie Wood. Movie Threes With a 2 Wing: Annette Bening, The Grifters; Tom Cruise, Rain Man; Jamie Lee Curtis, A Fish Called Wanda; Richard Gere, American Gigolo, Sommersby; Tony Goldwyn, Ghost; Jack Lemmon, Glengarry Glen Ross; Arnold Schwarzenegger, Pumping Iron; Cybill Shepherd, The Last Picture Show, Texasville; Sharon Stone, Basic Instinct; Kathleen Turner, Body Heat.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Threes: 3w4
May be slightly less image-conscious or project an image that is more implicit and subtle. 4 wing brings a degree of introversion. May measure themselves more by their creations, artistic or social. Tend to compete with themselves first more than with other people. High side brings the motivation and ability to work on oneself. May accomplish everything they set out to do materially, then embark on a path of self-analysis. Artistic explorations or teaching possible. Will still like a challenge, but thoughtful, intuitive or humanistic concerns of prime interest. The low side of this wing can bring a haunted, self-tormented quality or a haughty, competitive pretentiousness. Might be snobs or accuse critics of being too plebian to appreciate them. Cool, hard shell. In private, can lapse into Fourish selfquestioning and melodrama. Instability and moodiness can be factors. Unrealistic grandiosity.
Real-Life Threes With a 4 Wing: James Baker, Joseph Biden, David Bowie, Johnnie Cochran, David Copperfield, Rebecca DeMornay, Nora Ephron, Werner Erhard, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Phil Gramm, Bryant Gumbel, Michael Jordan, Ed Rollins, Diane Sawyer, William Shatner, Wesley Snipes, Sylvester Stallone, George Washington. Movie Threes With a 4 Wing: John Cusack, The Grifters; Charles Dance, Pascali's Island; Jeremy Irons, Betrayal; John Malkovich, Dangerous Liaisons, In The Line Of Fire; Robert Morse, Tru; William Shatner, Star Trek V - The Final Frontier; Sting, Bring On The Night; Christopher Walken, At Close Range, The Comfort Of Strangers.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Threes: Instinctual Variants

As a Performer, you believe that your worth is based on how you look in the eyes of others and on what you do and accomplish. Therefore you must alter your image, energy and actions to produce the desired response. When this altering of image works, you become the characteristics of the role, thus shifting your presentation to make people like you. In the process you deceive or fool yourself, sometimes to the extent that you are unable to distinguish your own feelings from those that accompany the role. This active go-ahead emotional energy of deceit plays out in the instinctual subtype behaviors.
One-to-One: Masculine or Feminine Image In important one-to-one relationships, the Performer automatically adopts the masculine or feminine image of maximum star appeal. You manifest deceit by altering yourself to look good and have charisma. As a human doing, you automatically perform the required role to get the result. Your life depends upon winning respect in special business or love relationships, as measured by the approval and personal attention you get for your efforts. You gain status in an intimate relationship by adopting a role with the characteristics that your partner finds appealing. This also may result in uncertainty about your own genuine feelings and sexuality. At your worst, your significant other may feel that you are disingenuous and dont truly care.
Social: Prestige Self-preservation: Material Security If you are oriented toward the social subtype, With the self-presentation instinct of material called prestige, then your run of active, striving security, your image energy gets channeled into energy is linked to your need for recognition. You material things, position and possessions. must receive public honors, titles, influential Sometimes this means endlessly working very hard connections, and/or appreciation for what you to earn money far beyond what you really need. accomplish, and look good in the process. You have You manifest self-deception or deceit by identifying to be a somebody in the eyes of others or youre your self-survival with externals such as wealth, a nobody inside yourself. You manifest your assets, occupation, and even simply doing. You energy of deceit by projecting the appropriate feel reassured when you are busy, active, moving persona, and taking on the appropriate thoughts up, succeeding and aligning with the company and feelings for the group situation. You gain social goals. You gain material status that you believe will status to assure acceptance and love. Therefore, assure you and important others survival and your drive for success and recognition can become satisfaction. Your success also must match your quite political to assure productivity. Whether very image of approval and therefore may take a genuine or self-serving, it is directed toward modest form, such as having an older, inexpensive winning social approval and achieving power in car because its the right kind of automobile. At social institutions, such as the government, your worst, there is no end to activity directed at businesses or community groups. At your worst, both acquiring objects and completing projects your drive for recognition can be ruthless, that you believe will bring security. Others can accompanied by outright dishonesty without being become obstacles that elicit your impatience and aware of your own deceit. anger. Ken Murray, LCSW kenmurrayLCSW@gmail.com
Type 3
Here is a happy three type personality once they've discovered they've been relentlessly pursuing success and desperately seeking approval and realized it will never be enough to stop the fear of rejection and failure that niggles under the surface. They've discovered they're lovable whether they produce or not and whether they're a success or not. They can pursue genuine interests from a place of love.
Here is the typical three type personality, who rarely rests because they have a schedule to follow, as well as countless agendas and meetings and people to meet and projects to finalize . . . and they have to keep the spin about their success uppermost in everyone's minds. The experience they're resisting is failure. Its beneficial to stop chasing success and feel what failure actually feels like. When we stop to feel and acknowledge failure it allows us to discover that we're all worthwhile vital human beings and that competition only exists in their own minds. Judging themselves and others in the narrow framework of just success and failure limits their perception of people in a way that is unfair, untrue and doesn't allow everyone's different gifts to flourish. This is not to take away from their brilliant gifts of having enormous energy, charm, focus and ability to achieve. The enneagram is not about limiting ourselves or our gifts. Its about discovering which beliefs and drives don't serve. The belief that a person has to keep producing as a way to receive love is not very satisfying or healthy.
If the person spirals downwards they may find that they're burnt out, exhausted and desperate to find ways to keep the spin of success happening.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Type 3
Narcissistic Personality Disorder may begin at Level 6. Over-stressing the body for recognition. Working out to exhaustion. Starvation diets. Workaholism. Excessive intake of coffee, stimulants, amphetamines, cocaine, steroids or excessive surgery for cosmetic improvement.
This personality type is often known as the achiever. They're usually efficient workers who multitask and manage to look good at the same time. This type is rewarded in our society because they're the ones producing results. But watch the video and see the relief it can be to get off the treadmill of relentless production.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Type 3
Ken Murray, LCSW
Personality Type Three as a Parent
Ken Murray, LCSW
Type 3
Ken Murray, LCSW
The Program of Excellence with Moody Nostalgia

Talk Style: Sad Stories
Beauty is truth, truth beauty, That is all you know on earth, and all you need to know Sustain Inspiring Creative Introspective Expressive Develop Intense Self-Conscious Moody Guilt Ridden
Want to have deep and lasting connections with others, but their behavior frequently reflects their desire to feel different, unique and separate. Engage in push-pull behavior when others get too close, and often pull away entirely when they feel disappointed or rejected. All of these behaviors cause others to pull away from them.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Type 4: The Individualist

Fours are self-aware, sensitive, and reserved. They are emotionally honest, creative, and personal, but can also be moody and self-conscious. Withholding themselves from others due to feeling vulnerable and defective, they can also feel disdainful and exempt from ordinary ways of living. They typically have problems with melancholy, self-indulgence, and self-pity. At their Best: inspired and highly creative, they are able to renew themselves and transform their experiences. Basic Fear: That they have no identity or personal significance Basic Desire: To find themselves and their significance (to create an identity) Key Motivations: Want to express themselves and their individuality, to create and surround themselves with beauty, to maintain certain moods and feelings, to withdraw to protect their self-image, to take care of emotional needs before attending to anything else, to attract a "rescuer." The Meaning of the Arrows (in brief) When moving in their Direction of Disintegration (stress), aloof Fours suddenly become over-involved and clinging at Two. However, when moving in their Direction of Integration (growth), envious, emotionally turbulent Fours become more objective and principled, like healthy Ones.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Fours: Interacting With Them

How to Get Along with Fours Give me plenty of compliments. They mean a lot to me. Be a supportive friend or partner. Help me to learn to love and value myself. Respect me for my special gifts of intuition and vision. Though I don't always want to be cheered up when I'm feeling melancholy, I sometimes like to have someone lighten me up a little. Don't tell me I'm too sensitive or that I'm overreacting!
CARDINAL RULES WHEN WORKING WITH FOURS Fours like process, not rigid goals Be careful when offering a carrot Honor their unique depth and insight Dont minimize their feelings Dont presume that you know what will satisfy them Be empathetic rather than helpful Dont suggest they be less intense The creative idea is everything Make clear your commitments Let the four make things beautiful
Ken Murray, LCSW
Appeal To: Creativity and Self-expression Elite Standards and Unique Contribution Emotional Skill, Depth and Power
Dont Appeal To: Convention A Fast Buck Emotional or Artistic Compromise Everyone else is doing it
Type 4: The Individualist

Level 1 (At Their Best): Profoundly creative, expressing the personal and the universal, possibly in a work of art. Inspired, self-renewing and regenerating: able to transform all their experiences into something valuable: self-creative. Level 2: Self-aware, introspective, on the "search for self," aware of feelings and inner impulses. Sensitive and intuitive both to self and others: gentle, tactful, compassionate. Level 3: Highly personal, individualistic, "true to self." Self-revealing, emotionally honest, humane. Ironic view of self and life: can be serious and funny, vulnerable and emotionally strong. Level 4: Take an artistic, romantic orientation to life, creating a beautiful, aesthetic environment to cultivate and prolong personal feelings. Heighten reality through fantasy, passionate feelings, and the imagination. Level 5: To stay in touch with feelings, they interiorize everything, taking everything personally, but become self-absorbed and introverted, moody and hypersensitive, shy and self-conscious, unable to be spontaneous or to "get out of themselves." Stay withdrawn to protect their self-image and to buy time to sort out feelings. Level 6: Gradually think that they are different from others, and feel that they are exempt from living as everyone else does. They become melancholy dreamers, disdainful, decadent, and sensual, living in a fantasy world. Self-pity and envy of others leads to self-indulgence, and to becoming increasingly impractical, unproductive, effete, and precious. Level 7: When dreams fail, become self-inhibiting and angry at self, depressed and alienated from self and others, blocked and emotionally paralyzed. Ashamed of self, fatigued and unable to function. Level 8: Tormented by delusional self-contempt, self-reproaches, self-hatred, and morbid thoughts: everything is a source of torment. Blaming others, they drive away anyone who tries to help them. Level 9: Despairing, feel hopeless and become self-destructive, possibly abusing alcohol or drugs to escape. In the extreme: emotional breakdown or suicide is likely. Generally corresponds to the Avoidant, Depressive, and Narcissistic personality disorders.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Fours: 4w3
Fours with a 3 wing can sometimes seem like Sevens. May be outgoing, have a sense of humor and style. Prize being both creative and effective in the world. Both intuitive and ambitious; may have good imaginations, often talented. Some are colorful, fancy dressers, make a distinct impression. Self-knowledge combines well with social and organizational skills. When more entranced, often have a public/private split. Could conceal feelings in public then go home to loneliness. Or they could enjoy their work and be dissatisfied in love. Tendency towards melodrama and flamboyance; true feelings can often be hidden. Competitive, sneaky, aware of how they look. Some have bad taste. May be fickle in love, drawn to romantic images that they have projected onto others. Could have a dull spouse, then fantasize about glamorous strangers. Achievements can be tainted by jealousy, revenge, or a desire to prove the crowd wrong. Real-Life Fours With a 3 Wing: John Barrymore, Kate Bush, Mary Chapin Carpenter, Judy Collins, Neil Diamond, Judy Garland, Martha Graham, Billie Holliday, Julio Iglesias, Janis Joplin, Naomi Judd, Jessica Lange, John Malkovich, Mary McCarthy, Rod McKuen, Anas Nin, Nick Nolte, Laurence Olivier, Edith Piaf, Anne Rice, Liv Ullmann, Robert James Waller, Tennessee Williams. Movie Fours With a 3 Wing: F. Murray Abraham, Amadeus; Anne Bancroft, The Turning Point; John Barrymore, Dinner At Eight; Judy Davis, Impromptu; Jill Ireland, From Noon Til Three; Vivien Leigh, A Streetcar Named Desire; Winona Ryder, Mermaids.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Fours: 4w5
Healthy side of this wing brings a withdrawn, complex creativity. May be somewhat intellectual but have exceptional depth of feeling and insight. Very much their own person; original and idiosyncratic. Have a spiritual and aesthetic openness. Will find multiple levels of meaning to most events. May have a strong need and ability to pour themselves into artistic creations. Loners; can seem enigmatic and hard to read. Externally reserved and internally resonant. When they open up it can be sudden and total. When entranced or defensive, Fours with a 5 wing can easily feel alienated and depressed. Many have a sense of not belonging, of being from another planet. Can get lost in their own process, drown in their own ocean. Whiny - tend to ruminate and relive past experience. Prone to the emotion of shame. Air of sullen, withdrawn disappointment. May live within a private mythology of pain and loss. Can get deeply morbid and fall in love with death. Real-Life Fours With a 5 Wing: Diane Arbus, Marlon Brando, Richard Brautigan, Jackson Browne, Kurt Cobain, Leonard Cohen, Isak Dinesen, Pink Floyd, Harvey Keitel, Philip Larkin, Thomas Merton, Sylvia Plath, Edgar Allen Poe, Arthur Rimbaud, Anne Sexton, James Taylor, Vincent van Gogh, Virginia Woolf, Neil Young. Movie Fours With a 5 Wing: David Andrews, Cherry 2000; Albert Finney, The Playboys; Claude Rains, The Phantom Of The Opera; Winona Ryder, Beetlejuice; Campbell Scott, Dying Young; Meryl Streep, The French Lieutenant's Woman, Out Of Africa, Plenty.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Fours: Instinctual Variants

As a Romantic, your mission is to regain the lost ideal love or situation, and, at the most fundamental level, your original connection to essence itself. Your self-esteem and well-being depend upon compensating for these losses and inner lack through the driving forces of envy and longing. You search for what is authentic and meaningful to compensate for the loss of the original connections.
One-to-One: Competition/hate In one-to-one relationships, envy and longing drive you to compete for the special position, partner or mentor. Competition is an invigorating energy: Ill show you; Ill get the connection I deserve. You use competition with others to overcome feelings of inner deficiency. You fight for what is noteworthy, exquisite and elegant. This makes you worthy and deserving. You go for the very best. If necessary, you slam your imagined or actual opponents; a hateful streak can emerge. You compete not so much to win but not to lose. And your own sense of esteem tends to rise and fall in comparison with others through establishing your excellence. Rather than lose and fall into lacking and deficiency, you may reject someone or something before you can be rejected. Its better to abandon than to be abandoned. In this way you combat the envy, control the situation and keep your feeling of being special. At your worst, you may end up destroying vital relationships, paradoxically trying to win the ultimate connection.
Self-preservation: Reckless/dauntless Social: Shame/counter-shame How can being reckless and dauntless serve In the social domain you easily can feel shame for survival? For the Romantic, to be ordinary, not measuring up or being a misfit. You feel that mundane or regular feels like death. You must be a your protective cover is removed and that your somebody or something by finding meaning deficiencies or shortcomings will be exposed and authenticity in what you do. You assuage your publicly. You mitigate your envy through shame. envy by playing the edge, walking the cliff, You want to hide your defects and deficiencies, throwing caution to the winds or jumping into new keep your fatal flaws from being detected and situations whatever will provide a sense of avoid disgrace. Your shame also helps you feel or authenticity. You even may neglect your basic keep a connection to others: Theyll notice me survival needs. In this way you feel enlivened and and my deficiencies, and Ill matter. This makes special your life is meaningful and intense. You you feel special in the eyes of others. Shame also have a reckless urgency to obtain those ultimate motivates you to do better create an elegant and uniquely elite experiences that make you feel image, produce pride of elitism, look unique and alive and quell longing. Even the ordinary events special, in short to develop counter-shame and a get a jazzed-up spin or dramatic flare. Perhaps you sense of honor for your integrity and what you do create a mini-crisis with big feelings by threatening for the group. You may become an emotional rejection or breaking the ordinary rules. You truth-teller in the group. At your worst, shame can temporarily dissolve or defy envy Not me, I lead to retraction into self-absorption, depression wont succumb. At your worst, your selfor despair. absorption in recklessness paradoxically can lead to disastrous outcomes and a re-emergence of a sense of inner lack and depression. Ken Murray, LCSW kenmurrayLCSW@gmail.com
Type 4
Here is a joyful four personality who has discovered that their flaws are imaginary and their life isn't as tragic as they'd thought. They know that even though their emotions will come and go they needn't have a negative meaning or adversely affect their day. They can discover that if they actively pursue their creativity and dreams with discipline they have an enormous amount to offer the world. This is all possible when the belief that they're flawed and inadequate is discovered to be false.
Here is a typical representation of the four personality - selfabsorbed, emotional, hoping they're special, feeling unrecognized and feeling unable to deal with the mundane side of life, especially with the gloomy cloud of despair hanging over them. Even though their gifts of creativity, flair, style, depth of feeling and an unusual take on life are wonderful to have, these needn't be over-shadowed by sensitivity, hurts, despair and tumultuous emotions. The feeling they're resisting is the shame of being flawed. They then have to actively cultivate special airs and elite yearnings to compensate for their flaws. Yet when they consciously allow themselves to feel the shame and feel the flaws they discover freedom and joy, a sense of humor and a commonality with their fellow human beings.
When this personality spirals downwards they fall into a deep depression, their emotions become oppressive and they feel as if they have fallen into a deep pit of despair.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Type 4
Avoidant Personality Disorder may begin at Level 5. Narcissistic Personality Disorder may begin at Level 6. Borderline Personality Disorder may begin at Level 7. Over-indulgence in rich foods, sweets, alcohol to alter mood, to socialize, and for emotional consolation. Lack of physical activity. Bulimia. Depressants. Tobacco, prescription drugs, or heroin for social anxiety. Cosmetic surgery to erase rejected features.
This personality type is often dramatic and emotional - high spirited one moment and down in the dumps the next. This fixation can find themselves stuck on a treadmill as they desperately run towards the unique and beautiful and run away from the common and ordinary things in life. This is a difficult task and draining on the emotions but . . . there is joy to be found off the treadmill . . .
Ken Murray, LCSW
Type 4
Ken Murray, LCSW
Personality Type Four as a Parent
Ken Murray, LCSW
Type 4
Ken Murray, LCSW
The Program of Knowledge with Withdrawal

Talk Style: Dissertations
Cogito ergo sum (I think, therefore I am) Sustain Analytic Objective Systematic Expert Develop Highly Private Detached Overtly Autonomous Relationships
Want to experience life fully and to genuinely connect with other people; however, their stance of observing life from afar and their disconnection from their own feelings prevent them from fully engaging in life and developing deep connections with others.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Type 5: The Investigator

Fives are alert, insightful, and curious. They are able to concentrate and focus on developing complex ideas and skills. Independent, innovative, and inventive, they can also become preoccupied with their thoughts and imaginary constructs. They become detached, yet high-strung and intense. They typically have problems with eccentricity, nihilism, and isolation. At their Best: visionary pioneers, often ahead of their time, and able to see the world in an entirely new way. Basic Fear: Being useless, helpless, or incapable Basic Desire: To be capable and competent Enneagram Five with a Four-Wing: "The Iconoclast" Enneagram Five with a Six-Wing: "The Problem Solver" Key Motivations: Want to possess knowledge, to understand the environment, to have everything figured out as a way of defending the self from threats from the environment. The Meaning of the Arrows (in brief) When moving in their Direction of Disintegration (stress), detached Fives suddenly become hyperactive and scattered at Seven. However, when moving in their Direction of Integration (growth), avaricious, detached Fives become more self-confident and decisive, like healthy Eights.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Fives: Interacting With Them

How to Get Along with Fives Be independent, not clingy. Speak in a straightforward and brief manner. I need time alone to process my feelings and thoughts. Remember that If I seem aloof, distant, or arrogant, it may be that I am feeling uncomfortable. Make me feel welcome, but not too intensely, or I might doubt your sincerity. If I become irritated when I have to repeat things, it may be because it was such an effort to get my thoughts out in the first place. Don't come on like a bulldozer. Help me to avoid my pet peeves: big parties, other people's loud music, overdone emotions, and intrusions on my privacy. CARDINAL RULES WHEN WORKING WITH FIVES They love inside information Give read aheads before meetings Stay within the agreed upon areas of inquiry Dont fill every space in the conversation. Allow them time to think Give them privacy Shut the door and hold calls when in a meeting with a Five Dont expect emotional fireworks in response to great ideas Give plenty of advance warning for anything
Appeal To: Intelligence Scientific Method Theories Mental Models Intellectual Competition
Ken Murray, LCSW
Dont Appeal To: Spontaneous Impulses Emotional Longings Societal Expectations Conventional Wisdom
Type 5: The Investigator

Level 1(At Their Best): Become visionaries, broadly comprehending the world while penetrating it profoundly. Open-minded, take things in whole, in their true context. Make pioneering discoveries and find entirely new ways of doing and perceiving things. Level 2: Observe everything with extraordinary perceptiveness and insight. Most mentally alert, curious, searching intelligence: nothing escapes their notice. Foresight and prediction. Able to concentrate: become engrossed in what has caught their attention. Level 3: Attain skillful mastery of whatever interests them. Excited by knowledge: often become expert in some field. Innovative and inventive, producing extremely valuable, original works. Highly independent, idiosyncratic, and whimsical. Level 4: Begin conceptualizing and fine-tuning everything before actingworking things out in their minds: model building, preparing, practicing, and gathering more resources. Studious, acquiring technique. Become specialized, and often "intellectual," often challenging accepted ways of doing things. Level 5: Increasingly detached as they become involved with complicated ideas or imaginary worlds. Become preoccupied with their visions and interpretations rather than reality. Are fascinated by off-beat, esoteric subjects, even those involving dark and disturbing elements. Detached from the practical world, a "disembodied mind," although high-strung and intense. Level 6: Begin to take an antagonistic stance toward anything which would interfere with their inner world and personal vision. Become provocative and abrasive, with intentionally extreme and radical views. Cynical and argumentative. Level 7: Become reclusive and isolated from reality, eccentric and nihilistic. Highly unstable and fearful of aggressions: they reject and repulse others and all social attachments. Level 8: Get obsessed yet frightened by their threatening ideas, becoming horrified, delirious, and prey to gross distortions and phobias. Level 9: Seeking oblivion, they may commit suicide or have a psychotic break with reality. Deranged, explosively self-destructive, with schizophrenic overtones. Generally corresponds to the Schizoid Avoidant and Schizotypal personality disorders.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Fives: 5w4
The difference between the 4 wing and the 6 wing in Fives is like the difference between Art and Science. 4 wing brings an abstract, intuitive cast of thought, as though the Five were thinking in geometric shapes instead of words or realistic images. May be talented artistically and inhabit moods like Fours do. Combine intellectual and emotional imagination. Enjoy the realm of philosophy and beautiful constructs of thought. The marriage of mental perspective and aesthetics is the best of life for them. When more defensive may seem a little ghostly, have a whisper in their voice. Fluctuate between impersonal withdrawal and bursts of friendly caring. Can get floaty and abstract. Act like they're inside a bubble, sometimes with an air of implicit superiority. Clich of the "absentminded professor" applies especially to Fives with this wing. Environmentally sensitive and subject at times to total overwhelm. Touchy about criticism. Can be slow to recover from traumatic events. Melancholy isolation and bleak existential depression are possible pitfalls. Real-Life Fives With a 4 Wing: Laurie Anderson, Samuel Beckett, Paul Bowles, Tim Burton, David Byrne, Agatha Christie, Daniel Day-Lewis, T.S. Eliot, Albert Einstein, Jeremy Irons, Philip Kaufman, Gary Larson, George Lucas, David Lynch, Peter Matthiessen, Ian McEwan, Thelonious Monk, Georgia O'Keefe,
Movie Fives With a 4 Wing: Jeff Bridges, The Fabulous Baker Boys; Kerry Fox, An Angel At My Table; Glenda Jackson, Turtle Diary; Gena Rowlands, Another Woman; Dean Stockwell, Tucker A Man And His Dream.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Fives: 5w6
The 6 wing brings an orientation to detail and technical knowledge, along with the tendency to think in logical sequence. Especially intellectual, far more analytical than Fives with a 4 wing. Can be loyal friends, offering strong behind-the-scenes support. Kind, patient teachers, skillful experts. May have a sense of mission and work hard. Sometimes project an aura of sensitive nerdiness and have clumsy social skills. When defensive, they can be unnerved by the expectations of others. May like people more but avoid them more. Especially sensitive to social indebtedness. Could have trouble saying "thank you." Fear of taking action, develop "information addiction" instead. Ask lots of questions but don't get around to the decision at hand. When more entranced, they develop a suspicious scrutiny of other people's motives but can also be blind followers. Misanthropic and Scrooge-like when defensive. More able to keep their feelings cut off in a constant way. Can be cold, skeptical, ironic, and disassociated. A Five's 6 wing can be phobic or counterphobic. Counterphobic 6 wing brings courage and antiauthoritarian attitudes. When defensive they may mock authority, or angrily tell others off. Tend to "push the envelope," experiment, find what the limits are. Real-Life Fives With a 6 Wing: Michael Crichton, Bobby Fischer (counterphobic), Jane Goodall, H.R. Haldeman, Arthur (The Amazing) Kreskin, John le Carr, Vladimir Lenin, Leonard Maltin, Sam Neill, Michelle Pfeiffer (counterphobic), Oliver Sacks, Ebenezer Scrooge, B. F. Skinner, George Stephanopoulos, Madeleine Stowe. Movie Fives With a 6 Wing: Bernard Pierre Donnadieu, The Vanishing; Ben Kingsley, Turtle Diary; Peter O'Toole, Goodbye, Mr. Chips; Ally Sheedy, Only The Lonely; James Spader, sex, lies and videotape; Hugo Weaving ("Martin"), Proof; Robin Williams, Awakenings.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Fives: Instinctual Variants

As an Observer, you believe that to want is to lack. You strive for self-sufficiency and independence as protection from intrusion. You dread being drained or depleted, so you conserve your energy by retracting into your mind with avarice for private time, space and knowledge. This avarice plays out in the three instinctual subtype behaviors.
One-to-One: Confidence You bond to special others by sharing confidential information, private knowledge, your energy and even feelings. In these sacred, necessary relationships you dont need to hide or guard your boundaries. Your avarice shows as you move back within yourself for replenishment. You then can treasure the experience in your mind and memory. You release your boundaries of privacy in intense, often physical encounters. Key disclosures are made and treasured for a lifetime when recreated in your imagination. These shared confidences assuage the loneliness that comes from isolating yourself from feelings while maintaining your autonomy and power. At your worst, the intense one-to-one sharing can operate like an on-off switch, to the dismay of special others.
Self-preservation: Home/castle Social: Totems What better place to protect your boundaries of We all need to belong. As an Observer with avarice privacy and person than in your own space? for knowledge, time and energy, this is no easy Through the sanctuary of your own mind or special matter. Your avarice manifests through cleaving to place, you can keep others out or guard their totems, the representation of things that a group access to you. You have avarice for your own space, shares, but is one step removed from ordinary whether its your mind, room, home or castle. In involvement. Needing a knowledge-based role that this way, you can preserve your time and energy, buffers you from direct access, you are attracted to acquire more knowledge, build a storehouse of groups that share special knowledge, such as a necessary subsistence items and assure your field of study or systems, or a shared intellectual survival. As an Observer, you keep your precious pursuit. You have avarice for and affiliate with independence by needing very little and hoarding people or groups who influence culture, events and what you think that you need. You experience seek greater knowledge through the power of the pleasure doing with less, and often spurn mind. You align in the mental domain with leaders, possession and luxuries, You cling to whatever you movements and systems where knowledge is believe assures your independence money, valued and shared, such as history and philosophy books, energy, collections, food stores, even groups, scientific and technical endeavors, sports traveling from place to place with your backpack. expertise, and literary or art interests. Here you No one owns you nor do you own anyone. You can feel needed, comfortable and a part of things. You obtain your sufficiency, so you believe, by assuring attempt to obtain sufficiency through knowledge boundaries and the sanctuary of your place and that befits the group. At your worst, you use person. At your worst, you can become so totems, whatever they might be, as a substitute for retracted that you end up lonely and lacking heartfelt human contact, paradoxically isolating nurturance. yourself from others. Ken Murray, LCSW kenmurrayLCSW@gmail.com
Type 5
Here is a peaceful five personality type who can actively engage in life - without the fear of not having enough knowledge to survive. Instead of studying life from afar as an observer (or via their own theories or books) they can broaden their understanding of life by actually participating in it.
Here is how the typical five personality manifests. The person is dissociated from their body and emotions and lives mainly in the head as an observer. They feel overwhelmed by the world and other people so they withdraw into themselves and arm themselves with facts as a way to survive. The gifts that come with the five personality are enormous yet the downside is that they often miss out as they attempt to live life from a distance or through a book. While understanding the theory they miss the full understanding that comes from actual experience.
This personality can spiral down to the point where they isolate themselves from the world and drastically minimize their needs. They can become highly strung, secretive and fearful.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Type 5
Schizotypal Personality Disorder may begin at Level 7, as may Schizoid Personality Disorder. Poor eating and sleeping habits due to minimizing needs. Neglecting hygiene and nutrition. Lack of physical activity. Psychotropic drugs for mental stimulation and escape, narcotics for anxiety.
This personality is investigating, analyzing and storing all the facts. The physically sensitive but brainy nerds, geeks, artists and hermits would most likely have this personality type.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Type 5
Ken Murray, LCSW
Personality Type Five as a Parent
Ken Murray, LCSW
Type 5
Ken Murray, LCSW
The Program of Security with Fear and Doubt

Talk Style: Group talk
Be Prepared
Sustain Loyal Collaborating Persevering Anticipate Problems Develop Worrying Dislike Ambiguity Analysis Paralysis Martyring
Want to have faith in themselves and to trust other people; however they continually secondguess themselves, project their own concerns and suspicions onto others, and then behave in guarded and accusatory ways. Causes them to distrust themselves and others, and it causes others to become suspicious and guarded in return.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Type 6: The Loyalist

The committed, security-oriented type. Sixes are reliable, hard-working, responsible, and trustworthy. Excellent "troubleshooters," they foresee problems and foster cooperation, but can also become defensive, evasive, and anxiousrunning on stress while complaining about it. They can be cautious and indecisive, but also reactive, defiant and rebellious. They typically have problems with self-doubt and suspicion. At their Best: internally stable and self-reliant, courageously championing themselves and others. Basic Fear: Of being without support and guidance Basic Desire: To have security and support Key Motivations: Want to have security, to feel supported by others, to have certitude and reassurance, to test the attitudes of others toward them, to fight against anxiety and insecurity. The Meaning of the Arrows: When moving in their Direction of Disintegration (stress), dutiful Sixes suddenly become competitive and arrogant at Three. However, when moving in their Direction of Integration (growth), fearful, pessimistic Sixes become more relaxed and optimistic, like healthy Nine.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Sixes: Interacting With Them

How to Get Along with Sixes Be direct and clear. Listen to me carefully. Don't judge me for my anxiety. Work things through with me. Reassure me that everything is OK between us. Laugh and make jokes with me. Gently push me toward new experiences. Try not to overreact to my overreacting.
CARDINAL RULES WHEN WORKING WITH SIXES
Keep your word Dont assume you can gain trust easily Dont engage in a win-lose argument on something their mind is made up on Dont exaggerate Make your allegiances clear Disclose your self-interest Salt the positives with negatives Dont pooh-pooh their fears or offer reassurances Dont order a Six around Restate reality Lay out clear plans Understand a Six is at odds with herself- not just you Admit you're in trouble when you are
Ken Murray, LCSW
Appeal To: Preparing for Dont Appeal To: battle or survival Because I Said To the noble So cause Theres no To Rational reason to worry Analysis Things will take Taking care of Calculated Risks themselves To Whats Really Happening Under the Surface
Type 6: The Loyalist

Level 1 (At Their Best): Become self-affirming, trusting of self and others, independent yet symbiotically interdependent and cooperative as an equal. Belief in self leads to true courage, positive thinking, leadership, and rich self-expression. Level 2: Able to elicit strong emotional responses from others: very appealing, endearing, lovable, affectionate. Trust important: bonding with others, forming permanent relationships and alliances. Level 3: Dedicated to individuals and movements in which they deeply believe. Community builders: responsible, reliable, trustworthy. Hardworking and persevering, sacrificing for others, they create stability and security in their world, bringing a cooperative spirit. Level 4: Start investing their time and energy into whatever they believe will be safe and stable. Organizing and structuring, they look to alliances and authorities for security and continuity. Constantly vigilant, anticipating problems. Level 5: To resist having more demands made on them, they react against others passive-aggressively. Become evasive, indecisive, cautious, procrastinating, and ambivalent. Are highly reactive, anxious, and negative, giving contradictory, "mixed signals." Internal confusion makes them react unpredictably. Level 6: To compensate for insecurities, they become sarcastic and belligerent, blaming others for their problems, taking a tough stance toward "outsiders." Highly reactive and defensive, dividing people into friends and enemies, while looking for threats to their own security. Authoritarian while fearful of authority, highly suspicious, yet, conspiratorial, and fear-instilling to silence their own fears. Level 7: Fearing that they have ruined their security, they become panicky, volatile, and self-disparaging with acute inferiority feelings. Seeing themselves as defenseless, they seek out a stronger authority or belief to resolve all problems. Highly divisive, disparaging and berating others Level 8: Feeling persecuted, that others are "out to get them," they lash-out and act irrationally, bringing about what they fear. Fanaticism, violence. Level 9: Hysterical, and seeking to escape punishment, they become self-destructive and suicidal. Alcoholism, drug overdoses, "skid row," selfabasing behavior. Generally corresponds to the Passive-Aggressive and Paranoid personality disorders.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Sixes: 6w5
Sixes with a 5 wing are generally introverted and somewhat intellectual. When healthy, they often have many realms of interest as well as surprising competencies and skills. May have an original and idiosyncratic point of view. Can be bookish; some are interested in history or feel rooted in the past or related to a long tradition. Also good at predicting the future. May test potential friends for a long time but once you're in, you're in - a friend for life. When more entranced, they may project a willed remoteness. Have a "tip of the iceberg" quality - they show little but you sense hidden dimensions, intensity and activity. Tension between needing to be seen and withdrawing for protection. Might act arrogant or cryptic or cynical when afraid. When phobic, can be diplomatic and say things without saying them. Entranced counterphobics are either cool and loners or argumentative, tending towards violence. Can brood over injustices to them, entertain conspiracy theories, spend time alone building cases. Paranoia in private. May like secretive behind-thescenes group activity. Sneaky vengeance, passive/aggressive toward others, self-attacking and self-destructive at home. Real-Life Sixes With a 5 Wing: Warren Beatty, J. Edgar Hoover, Tommy Lee Jones, J. Krishnamurti, Spike Lee, Steve McQueen, Richard Nixon, Chuck Norris, Lee Harvey Oswald, Anthony Perkins, Robert Redford, Janet Reno, Steven Seagal, James Spader. Movie Sixes With a 5 Wing: Keir Dullea, David And Lisa; Gene Hackman, I Never Sang For My Father; Rock Hudson, Send Me No Flowers; Wendy Hughes, Lonely Hearts; Ben Kingsley, Pascali's Island; Martin Landau, Crimes And Misdemeanors; Sheila McCarthy, I've Heard The Mermaids Singing; Sam Neill, The Piano; Anthony Perkins, Psycho; Michelle Pfeiffer, Frankie And Johnny; James Spader, Bad Influence; John Turturro, Barton Fink; Henry Winkler, Night Shift.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Sixes: 6w7
Sixes with a 7 wing are generally outgoing and may appear more overtly nervous. More plainly want to be liked and will pursue others in contrast to 5 wing who pulls in. Can be charming, sociable, ingratiating. Have a faster tempo, stronger connection to 3. Often self-preservation subtypes, characterized by a personal warmth. Can have a cheerful, forward-looking drive and be disarmingly funny. Self-effacing, gracious and curious. When more entranced, may be self-contradicting and seem as if they want two things at once. Sometimes test others overtly, drive you crazy with mixed messages. It may be hard to follow what they're saying. When threatened, one defense is to become impossible to please. When counterphobic, they tend to be accusative. Some get caught up in big plans that they hope will result in material security. Also can be insecure, irritable, petty, irrational, chaotic. Subject to mood swings, inferiority complexes, runaway fears. May have hair-trigger flare-ups of paranoia. Falsely accuse others and then seem not to realize it. Other times they plead to be taken care of. Sometimes defensively conservative in their lifestyle. Some struggle with appetite. Real-Life Sixes With a 7 Wing: Jason Alexander, Kim Basinger, George Bush, Judy Davis, Carrie Fisher, Mel Gibson, Diane Keaton, Jack Lemmon, Richard Lewis, Marilyn Monroe, Mary Tyler Moore, Rosie Perez, Sydney Pollack, Richard Pryor, Meg Ryan, Susan Sarandon, Carly Simon, Suzanne Somers, Patrick Swayze, Sean Young, Vladimir Zhirinovsky.
Movie Sixes With a 7 Wing: Woody Allen, most any film; Victor Bannergee, A Passage To India; Billy Crystal, City Slickers; Judy Davis, Husbands And Wives; Teri Garr, Tootsie; Holly Hunter, Broadcast News; Diane Keaton, Annie Hall; Jack Lemmon, The Apartment; Steve Martin, Parenthood; Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio, Class Action; Chris Mulkey, Patti Rocks; Bill Murray, What About Bob?; Sydney Pollack, Tootsie; Meg Ryan, When Harry Met Sally; Martin Short, Innerspace; Meryl Streep, Postcards From The Edge; Janine Turner, Northern Exposure
Ken Murray, LCSW
Sixes: Instinctual Variants

Self-preservation: Warmth/affection As a self-preservation subtype, you disarm others with your warmth and affection. By acting kindly with thoughtfulness and deferral, people wont be angry with you or harm you. Youll make friends and get people to like you by pleasing, supporting and aligning with them in effect creating a safety zone populated with allies. This makes you feel safe and secure. Avoiding risks and staying within wellknown boundaries also can abate your fears. At your worst, you give away your authority and power, paradoxically making you more vulnerable. Social: Duty In the social domain, you assuage your fear through your loyal duty to a group or cause. You feel safe bonded together with others in a common cause where you understand the needs and assure the code of behavior. You align with people you trust through mutual obligations and sacrifice: United we stand, divided we fall. You find power and hence safety in the groups authority. Knowing the rules and creating clear agreements with friends and colleagues are vital for overcoming your fear. As a Loyal Skeptic, your tendency to project negative power onto the world makes underdog causes particularly appealing. You align with the needy, the oppressed and the persecuted. You work for the cause. The call to duty mobilizes you rather not personal gain, which would expose you. But at your worst, you give away your own authority and power. One-to-One: Strength/beauty Having power and influence in the one-to-one domain with significant others counteracts your fear. It is safer to manifest power and influence with strength and beauty, appealing qualities that are less likely to create adversarial reactions than raw power moves. Instead of craving reassurance, it comes to you through strength and beauty. Knowing that you affect those close or important to you through your brilliant ideas and physical ability provides assurance. Aesthetic qualities (creating beauty in your environment) and attractiveness command allegiance from others, as do intellectual strength, including fiercely held ideological positions and physical fitness, strength and bravery. Your fear evaporates when you obtain the respect of associates or a mate. While the preoccupation with strength and beauty in one-toone relating is more common for counter-phobics (because it is more congruent with the coping style), it is more obvious in phobics because it stands out more against a general lack in courage or self-confidence. At your worst, you can become possessed with the need to influence others, and evoke reactions by testing and challenging others.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Type 6
Here is a secure, independent courageous six personality who has seen through the fears and trusts her own judgment. This is not to say fear and doubts don't arise but there is a secure peace that underlies the personality and this can be trusted to always be present.
Plagued by doubts and fears, seeking safety but mostly seeing danger. Looking for safety in decisions or other people or by acting responsibly and dutifully and being loyal (even though they feel rebellious). This personality type has many gifts. They're organized, friendly, dependable, responsible, inspirational, kind, able to 'get things done' and they can successfully create networks and groups that work as a team. Yet they often make their decisions based upon safety simply because they're 'seeing' danger everywhere. Fear is the underlying emotion they're resisting. When these types consciously allow fear to be present they often discover it to be an 'energy' that they needn't label as fear. They become free to make decisions, trust their intuition and intelligence and can see the world in broader terms than just safety and danger.
If the person spirals downwards they become paranoid and increasingly insecure. They become suspicious, anxious and feel paralyzed by fear.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Type 6
Passive-Aggressive Personality Disorder may begin at Level 5. Dependent Personality Disorder may begin at Level 7. Paranoid Personality Disorder may begin at Level 8. Borderline Personality Disorder may begin at Level 9. Rigidity in diet causes nutritional imbalances ("I don't like vegetables.") Working excessively. Caffeine and amphetamines for stamina, but also alcohol and depressants to deaden anxiety. Higher susceptibility to alcoholism than many types.
Fear is the motivating factor for the six personality. This fear is often masked by a questioning doubting mind which is working overtime to make things safe. Afraid of fear itself this type tends to initially avoid the enneagram because they don't want to be boxed in by a system . . . . but . . . . then derive enormous benefit from it as they discover it gives them a greater understanding of their fears so they can lay them to rest.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Type 6
Ken Murray, LCSW
Personality Type Six as a Parent
Ken Murray, LCSW
Type 6
Ken Murray, LCSW
The Program of Easy Optimism and Uneasy Activity

Talk Style: Anecdotes
Lets Take a Flyer Sustain Imaginative Enthusiastic Engaging Quick Thinking Develop Impulsive Unfocused Rebellious Pain Avoidant
Want to feel whole, complete, and totally okay about themselves; however, they avoid behaviors that would ultimately make them feel settled, fully satisfied, and completely self-accepting- for example, staying focused on a task until it is complete, delving into feelings and thoughts in greater depth, and accepting pain as well as pleasure.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Type 7: The Enthusiast

Sevens are extroverted, optimistic, versatile, and spontaneous. Playful, highspirited, and practical, they can also misapply their many talents, becoming over- extended, scattered, and undisciplined. They constantly seek new and exciting experiences, but can become distracted and exhausted by staying on the go. They typically have problems with impatience and impulsiveness. At their Best: they focus their talents on worthwhile goals, becoming appreciative, joyous, and satisfied. Basic Fear: Of being deprived and in pain Basic Desire: To be satisfied and contentto have their needs fulfilled Key Motivations: Want to maintain their freedom and happiness, to avoid missing out on worthwhile experiences, to keep themselves excited and occupied, to avoid and discharge pain. The Meaning of the Arrows (in brief) When moving in their Direction of Disintegration (stress), scattered Sevens suddenly become perfectionistic and critical at One. However, when moving in their Direction of Integration (growth), gluttonous, scattered Sevens become more focused and fascinated by life, like healthy Fives.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Sevens: Interacting With Them

How to Get Along with Sevens Give me companionship, affection, and freedom. Engage with me in stimulating conversation and laughter. Appreciate my grand visions and listen to my stories. Don't try to change my style. Accept me the way I am. Be responsible for yourself. I dislike clingy or needy people. Don't tell me what to do.
CARDINAL RULES WHEN WORKING WITH SEVENS Be prepared for rapid give and take Align with the dream Ask lots of questions Help them see how their dreams can work Help them be a container rather than a sieve Share your problem and process it with them Make job descriptions crystal clear
Appeal To: Fun Impact Adventure Novelty Idealism
Dont Appeal To: Duty Stability The way we do things around here Prudence Industry Norms
Ken Murray, LCSW
Type 7: The Enthusiast

Level 1 (At Their Best): Assimilate experiences in depth, making them deeply grateful and appreciative for what they have. Become awed by the simple wonders of life: joyous and ecstatic. Intimations of spiritual reality, of the boundless goodness of life. Level 2: Highly responsive, excitable, enthusiastic about sensation and experience. Most extroverted type: stimuli bring immediate responses they find everything invigorating. Lively, vivacious, eager, spontaneous, resilient, cheerful. Level 3: Easily become accomplished achievers, generalists who do many different things well: multi-talented. Practical, productive, usually prolific, cross-fertilizing areas of interest. Level 4: As restlessness increases, want to have more options and choices available to them. Become adventurous and "worldly wise," but less focused, constantly seeking new things and experiences: the sophisticate, connoisseur, and consumer. Money, variety, keeping up with the latest trends important. Level 5: Unable to discriminate what they really need, become hyperactive, unable to say "no" to themselves, throwing self into constant activity. Uninhibited, doing and saying whatever comes to mind: storytelling, flamboyant exaggerations, witty wise-cracking, performing. Fear being bored: in perpetual motion, but do too many thingsmany ideas but little follow through. Level 6: Get into conspicuous consumption and all forms of excess. Self-centered, materialistic, and greedy, never feeling that they have enough. Demanding and pushy, yet unsatisfied and jaded. Addictive, hardened, and insensitive. Level 7: Desperate to quell their anxieties, can be impulsive and infantile: do not know when to stop. Addictions and excess take their toll: debauched, depraved, dissipated escapists, offensive and abusive. Level 8: In flight from self, acting out impulses rather than dealing with anxiety or frustrations: go out of control, into erratic mood swings, and compulsive actions (manias). Level 9: Finally, their energy and health is completely spent: become claustrophobic and panic-stricken. Often give up on themselves and life: deep depression and despair, self-destructive overdoses, impulsive suicide. Generally corresponds to the Bipolar disorder and Histrionic personality disorder.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Sevens: 7w6
Healthy Sevens with a 6 wing are responsible, faithful, lovable, nervous and funny. They are generally more oriented to relationship and want to be accepted by other people. Can be steady, more willing to stick with commitments; the 6 wing brings a longer sense of time. Usually funny or enjoy a good laugh - an amazing number of comedians are Sevens with a 6 wing. More openly vulnerable, have an unguarded, tender sweetness. Some have trouble expressing anger even when they are justified. May evade or finesse authority but still aware of it like a 6. Canny and practical, they look for the deals and the loopholes. When more entranced, may have surprise episodes of sensitivity and insecurity. Their feelings can be easily hurt sometimes. Sensitive especially to comparisons. May avoid putting themselves to the test. Grow dependent and addicted to other people, afraid to be alone, suspicious and skittish. Can feel guilt easily, may project their conscience onto others and then act irresponsibly. Make themselves shallow, fall in and out of love easily. Sometimes breezily betray others by running away. Can be reckless, unstable, and self-destructive. When Sevens have a counterphobic 6 wing their idealism can motivate a sincere desire for social reform. May work hard for a cause. Can be antiauthority, passive/aggressive, flippant, defiant. Some report hating to be told what to do. Clashes with Ones likely. May call down trouble on themselves. Complain about the status quo. The realm of hippie rebellion. Real-Life Sevens With a 6 Wing: Dave Barry, Kenneth Branagh, Joseph Campbell, Chevy Chase, Katie Couric, David Crosby, Hugh Downs, Peter Fonda (counterphobic), John Gielgud, Cary Grant, Goldie Hawn, Marilu Henner, Magic Johnson, Ken Kesey, Timothy Leary (counterphobic), Eddie Murphy, Brad Pitt, Jerry Rubin (counterphobic), Rosalind Russell, Martin Short, Steven Spielberg, Lily Tomlin, Robin Williams, Jonathan Winters, William Wordsworth. Movie Sevens With a 6 Wing: Richard Burton, The Night Of The Iguana (counterphobic); Ruth Gordon, Harold And Maude (counterphobic); Andre Gregory, My Dinner With Andre; Hugh Hefner, Hugh Hefner: Once Upon A Time; Audrey Hepburn, Breakfast At Tiffany's; Tom Hulce, Parenthood; Christine Lahti, Housekeeping; Rosalind Russell, Auntie Mame; John Shea, Missing (counterphobic); Dick Van Dyke, Mary Poppins; Jon Voight, Midnight Cowboy.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Sevens: 7w8
When healthy, Sevens with an 8 wing are often generous, gregarious and expansive. Tend to be exceptionally loyal to their friends, especially when social subtype. Leap aggressively to the defense of those they care for. Might seem loud or boisterous although some are urbane and witty. Enjoy social celebrations, storytelling, jokes, food and travel. Generally have a strong self-confidence for worldly matters and getting what they want. Talent for making something out of nothing - entrepreneurial. Usually share what they have when healthy, want everyone to enjoy their sense of bounty and wide range of interests. When more entranced, they may be demanding, displaying a selfish impatience and a selfjustifying narcissism. May want what they want right now. Aggressive, hasty drive to acquire money and material options and recognition. Can demand that the people in their lives say only what the Seven wants to hear sugarcoated truth. Lash out angrily if reality doesn't meet their expectations; sometimes vengeful. Often perfectionistic as parents (low side of 1). Moralize to others and then are themselves irresponsible. Amnesia for promises made in an expansive moment. Particular difficulty with sexual fidelity. Real-Life Sevens With an 8 Wing: Victor Borge, Chuck Berry, Robert Bly, Michael Caine, Joan Collins, Francis Ford Coppola, Barry Diller, Clark Gable, Ava Gardner, Newt Gingrich, Jackie Gleason, Tom Hanks, Richard Harris, Alan King, Larry King, Robert Klein, Henry Miller, Jack Nicholson, Anthony Quinn, Leni Riefenstahl, Louis Rukeyser, Barbra Streisand, Jann Wenner, James Woods. Movie Sevens With an 8 Wing: Klaus Maria Brandauer, Mephisto; Jeff Bridges, Tucker; Cher, Mermaids; Richard Dreyfuss, Once Around; Ava Gardner, The Night Of The Iguana; Andy Griffith, A Face In The Crowd; Bob Hoskins, The Long Good Friday; Michael Keaton, Clean And Sober; Ray Liotta, Goodfellas; Paul Newman, Blaze; Jack Nicholson, Batman.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Sevens: Instinctual Variants

As an Epicure, you cannot stand limitations. You attempt to assure a good life and survival through gluttony for interesting interrelated ideas, fascinating future possibilities and adventures. You express an outer-directed upbeat energy while rationalizing your defenses. This gluttony plays out in the three instinctual subtype behaviors that compensate for the original limitless capacity to travel the full spectrum of life fully and freely.
Self-preservation: Like-minded defenders/family You feel secure when you identify with others of like mind and ideals. You find other deserving people to bond with who mirror your ideals and dreams. These people who share your life view may exist mainly in your imagination, as possibilities, or they may be family, friends and associates who fit into part of your dream. Your gluttony plays out through these like-minded defenders who protect you from being trapped or limited in a boring or painful life, and assure enjoyment in family-style gatherings and the good life. They are like family to you, although often not your biological family. You share pleasures such as dining out or planning interesting projects. As trusted fellow travelers, you brainstorm together and sustain a part of each others vision of a positive future. At your worst, your claims on others to support your point of view or material desires can be highly demanding and thoughtless. Social: Sacrifice In the social area you must rein in your gluttony for stimulating experiences or interesting ideas, plans and projects. To function in the group you must sacrifice some of your own desires for the higher social cause. You can postpone your own gratification and accept limitations willingly for the sake of group ideals or worthy endeavors with which you identify and enjoy, and through promoting a better society. You participate with others who mirror your philosophy and interests. Often the hardest part of adhering to the norms and requirements of the group is dealing with authority. You dont want to be told what to do or waste time in routine tasks. In this instance, sacrifice acquires a martyr flavoring. You accept suffering for the sake of the larger cause, while imagining an idealized future that equalizes authority. You feel good about the sacrifices you make for family and valued choices. At your worst, you overbook yourself with too many social interests and activities, making it difficult to commit. kenmurrayLCSW@gmail.com One-to-One: Fascination/suggestible When your upbeat energy and active imagination manifest in the one-to-one relationship, you connect by finding what fascinates and interests you. Your attention goes to what in the special other sparks your interest and imagination, providing a channel for your gluttony energy. You feel magnetized to this person and begin to idealize him/her. You are likable, charming and disarming. This person basks in your energy and gets caught up in the rush of your ideas, plans and possibilities. When you lose some interest in the relationship or the spark cools, someone else naturally catches your eye. You find a way out, not realizing you are breaking promises that, from your standpoint, you never really made. Or you stick with it, ironically finding ways through suggestibility to keep the vision of a positive future, even when the situation may be disastrous. You just dont see the negatives. At your worst, you can rationalize your way out of a seemingly committed relationship when it loses its thrill, seems confining or ceases to be self-serving.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Type 7
Here is a sober, steady, satisfied seven personality. They're still enthusiastic, highly imaginative and bring a positive energy to any project their involved in. But they've seen through the false energy that drives them to keep on the move. They understand that life is shallow and meaningless without the depth that comes from accepting boredom and pain.
Restless, grabbing at highs, wanting to experience everything that life has to offer except boredom and pain. They'll leave before they've fully integrated an experience because they fear they'll miss out on life. The feeling they've resisted is the feeling that they're incomplete and not ok. When they consciously allow themselves to feel incomplete they become free of this itchy energy. They're no longer being unconsciously driven by the restless energy driving them to seek completeness in external activities or by staying on the run.
What this personality can spiral down to. They become impatient and frustrated and act recklessly as they become more and more determined to keep life on a high.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Type 7
Histrionic Personality Disorder may begin at Level 5. Hypomanic Episode may begin at Level 7. Manic Episode may begin at Level 8. Bipolar Disorders may begin at Level 9.
The type most prone to addictions: stimulants (caffeine, cocaine, and amphetamines), Ecstasy, psychotropics, narcotics, and alcohol but tend to avoid other depressants. Wear body out with effort to stay "up." Excessive cosmetic surgery, pain killers.
Enthusiastic, highly energetic, imaginative types best describe this personality. Running towards the ever new, the exciting, the different and away from anything that could be boring is how this personality type manifests. With each of these personality types there is the good and the not so good. In this case the not so good is when someone with this personality can never hang around long enough to have dessert because they're in too much of a hurry to be elsewhere.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Type 7
Ken Murray, LCSW
Personality Type Seven as a Parent
Ken Murray, LCSW
Type 7
Ken Murray, LCSW
The Program of Self-Defined Justice with Arrogance
Talk Style: Imperatives
Truth and Justice My Way or the Highway

Sustain Direct Strategic Protective Action Oriented Develop Controlling Demanding Disdain Weakness Intimidating
Want to be accepted and supported completely for who they are, including their vulnerabilities. However, they act so strong, independent, and in charge that very few people ever see their softer, more vulnerable sides or their need for nurturance and affirmation.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Type 8: The Challenger

Eights are self-confident, strong, and assertive. Protective, resourceful, straight-talking, and decisive, but can also be ego-centric and domineering. Eights feel they must control their environment, especially people, sometimes becoming confrontational and intimidating. Eights typically have problems with their tempers and with allowing themselves to be vulnerable. At their Best: self- mastering, they use their strength to improve others' lives, becoming heroic, magnanimous, and inspiring. Basic Fear: Of being harmed or controlled by others Basic Desire: To protect themselves (to be in control of their own life and destiny) Key Motivations: Want to be self-reliant, to prove their strength and resist weakness, to be important in their world, to dominate the environment, and to stay in control of their situation. The Meaning of the Arrows (in brief) When moving in their Direction of Disintegration (stress), self-confident Eights suddenly become secretive and fearful at Five. However, when moving in their Direction of Integration (growth), lustful, controlling Eights become more open-hearted and caring, like healthy Twos
Ken Murray, LCSW
Eights: Interacting With Them

How to Get Along with Eights Stand up for yourself... and me. Be confident, strong, and direct. Don't gossip about me or betray my trust. Be vulnerable and share your feelings. See and acknowledge my tender, vulnerable side. Give me space to be alone. Acknowledge the contributions I make, but don't flatter me. I often speak in an assertive way. Don't automatically assume it's a personal attack. When I scream, curse, and stomp around, try to remember that's just the way I am.
CARDINAL RULES WHEN WORKING WITH EIGHTS Show up. Dont flake Spit it out. Quick and straight. Dont embellish or waffle Dont whine Respect Eights as substantial figures, not minions When blasted by an Eight, dont simply blast back. Dont tell him he cant do it. Explain problems in black and white terms Do you need this fight? If not, close the deal without it. Tell them directly and bluntly when they are screwing up or pissing you off. Eights like to be in charge of their bailiwick, which they naturally try to expand
Appeal To: Power and Influence Justice Helping the Underdog Taste for Immediate Engagement
Dont Appeal To: Sympathy Diplomacy Propriety The Rules
Ken Murray, LCSW
Type 8: The Challenger

Level 1 (At Their Best): Become self-restrained and magnanimous, merciful and forbearing, mastering self through their self-surrender to a higher authority. Courageous, willing to put self in serious jeopardy to achieve their vision and have a lasting influence. May achieve true heroism and historical greatness. Level 2: Self-assertive, self-confident, and strong: have learned to stand up for what they need and want. A resourceful, "can do" attitude and passionate inner drive. Level 3: Decisive, authoritative, and commanding: the natural leader others look up to. Take initiative, make things happen: champion people, provider, protective, and honorable, carrying others with their strength. Level 4: Self-sufficiency, financial independence, and having enough resources are important concerns: become enterprising, pragmatic, "rugged individualists," wheeler-dealers. Risk-taking, hardworking, denying own emotional needs. Level 5: Begin to dominate their environment, including others: want to feel that others are behind them, supporting their efforts. Swaggering, boastful, forceful, and expansive: the "boss" whose word is law. Proud, egocentric, want to impose their will and vision on everything, not seeing others as equals or treating them with respect. Level 6: Become highly combative and intimidating to get their way: confrontational, belligerent, creating adversarial relationships. Everything a test of wills, and they will not back down. Use threats and reprisals to get obedience from others, to keep others off balance and insecure. However, unjust treatment makes others fear and resent them, possibly also band together against them.
Level 7: Defying any attempt to control them, become completely ruthless, dictatorial, "might makes right." The criminal and outlaw, renegade, and con-artist. Hard-hearted, immoral and potentially violent. Level 8: Develop delusional ideas about their power, invincibility, and ability to prevail: megalomania, feeling omnipotent, invulnerable. Recklessly over-extending self. Level 9: If they get in danger, they may brutally destroy everything that has not conformed to their will rather than surrender to anyone else. Vengeful, barbaric, murderous. Sociopathic tendencies. Generally corresponds to the Antisocial Personality Disorder.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Eights: 8w7
Awakened Eights with a 7 wing are often expansive, and powerful. Gregarious and generous, they may display a cheerful bravado. Can be forceful but with a light touch, funny. Often have a sense of humor about themselves. Generally more extroverted, ambitious and materialistic. May talk loud and be sociable partygoers. Sometimes driven to bring the new into being. Can be visionary, idealistic, enterprising. Willing to take risks. May think more clearly than Eights with a 9 wing; 7 wing brings an intellectual capacity. When more entranced, aggression combines with gluttony to form an almost virulent tendency to addiction. Many entranced Eights with a 7 wing have had drug and alcohol problems or tensions around addiction. Prone to temperamental ups and downs - can be moody, egocentric, quick to anger. Tendency to court chaos, inflate themselves narcissistically. Some are ruthlessly materialistic. Can use people up, suck them dry. Maybe be explosive or violent, prone to distorted overreaction. Real-Life Eights With a 7 Wing: Leslie Abramson, F. Lee Bailey, Lucille Ball, Sean Connery, Jimmy Connors, Robert Conrad, Brian Dennehy, Lawyer Alan Dershowitz, Danny DeVito, Kirk Douglas, Rush Limbaugh, Fritz Perls, Ann Richards, Geraldo Rivera, Telly Savalas, Frank Sinatra, Grace Slick, Donald Trump, Zorba the Greek. Movie Eights With a 7 Wing: John Cassavetes, I'm Almost Not Crazy; Michael Douglas, Wall Street; Robert Duvall, The Great Santini; Gene Hackman, Class Action; Christine Lahti, Leaving Normal; Laura San Giacoma, sex, lies and videotape; Ron Silver, Reversal Of Fortune; Elaine Strick, September.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Eights: 8w9
Healthy Eights with a 9 wing often have an aura of preternatural calm, like they haven't had a selfdoubt in decades. Take their authority for granted - queen or king of all they survey. May be gentle, kind-hearted, quieter. Often nurturing, protective parents; steady, supportive friends. Informal and unpretentious, patient, laconic, generally somewhat introverted. Sometimes a dry or ironic sense of humor. May have an aura of implicit, simmering anger rather like a sleeping volcano. Slow to erupt but when they do it's sudden and explosive. When entranced, the 9 wing brings an Eight a kind of callous numbness. They can be oblivious to the force of their anger until after they've hurt someone. Calmly dominating, colder; may have an indifference to softer emotions. If very unhealthy, they can be mean without remorse or aggressive in the service of stupid ends. Paranoid plotting, muddled thinking, moral laziness. Can be vengeful in ill-conceived ways, abuse those they love, don't know when to quit. Real-Life Eights With a 9 Wing: Edward Asner, Johnny Cash, Fidel Castro, Ty Cobb, Michael Douglas, Milton Erickson, Linda Fiorentino, Geronimo, John Huston, Evel Knievel, Lee Marvin, Golda Meir, Robert Mitchum, Dixy Lee Ray, Mickey Rourke, Marge Schott. Movie Eights With a 9 Wing: Robert De Niro, The Mission; Clint Eastwood, White Hunter, Black Heart; Rutger Hauer, Ladyhawke; Judd Hirsch, Ordinary People; William Hurt, The Doctor; Shirley MacLaine, Used People; Lee Marvin, Gorky Park; Jack Palance, City Slickers; Gena Rowlands, Gloria; John Wayne, The Shootist.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Eights: Instinctual Variants

As a Protector, you move quickly from urge or instinct into action against opposition or obstacles to your sense of truth or justice. Your big, assertive, lustful, excessive energy drives an unremitting belief in your own strength and power. Simultaneously, you avoid weakness and vulnerability. Your lust energy gets acted out through the three subtype behaviors.
Self-preservation: Satisfactory Survival You need adequate amounts of provisions and environmental security to assure satisfactory survival for yourself, your intimates and groups. If you give a party, for example, you might serve at least twice the food and beverages that your guests can consume. You assert big control over your own survival needs and those you protect. You are generous with them. Your tendency toward excess shows up everywhere. You dont hoard things, but you want to make sure that what you need is available so that you wont be deprived or dependent. You have control of your creature comforts and environment. Your motto for satisfactory survival is Be prepared. Taking charge of your creature comforts and environment gives you the illusion that you are invulnerable and in control. At your worst, this drives you to become preoccupied with never-ending demands for security and to excessive control or domination over the physical environment and those in it. Social: Friendship In the social domain the robust assertive energy (lust) tests for and builds true friendships with people who share your values and sense of justice. You develop camaraderie after youve tested the limits and seen that others can match your stamina and be counted on honorably for directness and feedback. You join in activities, events and social causes that take precedence over your personal needs. You are true to the group and influence it according to your own sense of justice, giving your vital energy unhesitatingly. Leadership seems to fall upon you. Together you struggle for justice and wins, all of which overcome any sense of powerlessness. You are like brothers and sisters in arms sharing a mutual respect and common purpose. These affiliations even overcome your loner tendency. At your worst, your intense absorption in social friendships, in community building, and in worthy projects can, paradoxically, dominate your life. One-to-One: Possession/Surrender As a Protector, your passionate lust energy wants to possess your intimate relationships. You want to know everything about your special other mind, body and soul. You want to protect him/her and be consulted in significant matters. You can be highly physical. You wouldnt think of your control and impact as dominating youre simply taking charge and care for special others who depend upon you. Your vitality and verve infuse every molecule of your intimates. In business, this takes the form of commanding presence, relentless competition and the power to do battle as necessary. Struggles over control let you know whom you can count on. Possession and potency with others verifies your power, strength and efficacy. After you have tested your intimates fettle and commitment, you can move to the polar opposite in your all-or-nothing style of attending. You can surrender control, trusting that you wont be betrayed. At your worst, your intense energetic focus can lead to dominating and controlling relationships with the my way or the highway approach to life an outcome you actually deplore.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Type 8
Here is a happy eight personality. Free from the need to forcefully control others, point out faults, prod at people's weakness, explode regularly and blame everyone else for their problems, they can turn their enormous reservoirs of energy and power into lovingly helping others as well as realizing their projects.
A typical representation of the eight personality. Angry, vengeful, bossy, determined to be the leader and seeing weakness in everyone but themselves. They're also passionate, industrious, hardworking and have a 'can do' attitude. Their personality is forceful and larger than life. The emotion beneath their behavior is fear of weakness. They rarely allow themselves to acknowledge this, in fact they don't feel weak but its there and driving their actions. When this personality type consciously allows themselves to feel vulnerable they can become free of the fear that they might be weak. When weakness or vulnerability aren't resisted they no longer need to use their energy as an aggressive power to prove they aren't weak.
When this personality slides down the spiral they can become violent, vengeful and abusive. They actively threaten anyone who they feel is against them.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Type 8
Antisocial Personality Disorder may begin at Level 7. Ignore physical needs and problems: avoid medical visits and check-ups. Indulging in rich foods, alcohol, tobacco while pushing self too hard leads to high stress, strokes, and heart conditions. Control issues central, although alcoholism and narcotic addictions are possible.
Bold blunt blaming and angry is how most would describe the eight personality. This isn't how they'd describe themselves. They'd describe themselves as truthful, innocent and hard working and wonder why everyone has it in for them. They're certainly the leaders, the bosses and the tyrants. Yet they're also quite vulnerable and easily hurt. Not that they show that side of themselves very much. They're happier expressing their anger and their power.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Type 8
Ken Murray, LCSW
Personality Type Eight as a Parent
Ken Murray, LCSW
Type 8
Ken Murray, LCSW
The Program of Non-aggression with Indolence and Indecision

Talk Style: Epic Stories
Let it Be Sustain Diplomatic Easygoing Accepting Affable Develop Conflict Avoidant Nonassertive Procrastinating Indecisive
Want to be acknowledged and taken seriously; however, they act so easygoing and accede so readily to what others want that they dont assert themselves, and others then discount what they have to say.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Type 9: The Peacemaker

Nines are accepting, trusting, and stable. They are usually creative, optimistic, and supportive, but can also be too willing to go along with others to keep the peace. They want everything to go smoothly and be without conflict, but they can also tend to be complacent, simplifying problems and minimizing anything upsetting. They typically have problems with inertia and stubbornness. At their Best: indomitable and all-embracing, they are able to bring people together and heal conflicts. Basic Fear: Of loss and separation Basic Desire: To have inner stability "peace of mind" Enneagram Nine with an Eight-Wing: "The Referee" Enneagram Nine with a One-Wing: "The Dreamer" Key Motivations: Want to create harmony in their environment, to avoid conflicts and tension, to preserve things as they are, to resist whatever would upset or disturb them. The Meaning of the Arrows (in brief) When moving in their Direction of Disintegration (stress), complacent Nines suddenly become anxious and worried at Six. However, when moving in their Direction of Integration (growth), slothful, self-neglecting Nines become more selfdeveloping and energetic, like healthy Threes.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Nines: Interacting With Them

How to Get Along with Nines If you want me to do something, how you ask is important. I especially don't like expectations or pressure. I like to listen and to be of service, but don't take advantage of this. Listen until I finish speaking, even though I meander a bit. Give me time to finish things and make decisions. It's OK to nudge me gently and nonjudgmentally. Ask me questions to help me get clear. Tell me when you like how I look. I'm not averse to flattery. Hug me, show physical affection. It opens me up to my feelings. I like a good discussion but not a confrontation. Let me know you like what I've done or said. Laugh with me and share in my enjoyment of life. CARDINAL RULES WHEN WORKING WITH NINES Nail down plans and follow up Dont mistake silence for agreement Be humble rather than pompous Establish clear performance goals Remind them of their importance Asking them for input helps Nines focus Give explicit directions Dont be controlling or domineering. Collaboration and cooperation Give Nines a regular meeting with undivided attention
Ken Murray, LCSW
Appeal To: Peace Harmony Unity Team Spirit Fairness Selflessness Inevitability Least disruptive alternative
Dont Appeal To: Competition One right way Your Authority Their Authority Deadlines
Type 9: The Peacemaker

Level 1 (At Their Best): Become self-possessed, feeling autonomous and fulfilled: have great equanimity and contentment because they are present to themselves. Paradoxically, at one with self, and thus able to form more profound relationships. Intensely alive, fully connected to self and others. Level 2: Deeply receptive, accepting, unselfconscious, emotionally stable and serene. Trusting of self and others, at ease with self and life, innocent and simple. Patient, unpretentious, good-natured, genuinely nice people. Level 3: Optimistic, reassuring, supportive: have a healing and calming influenceharmonizing groups, bringing people together: a good mediator, synthesizer, and communicator. Level 4: Fear conflicts, so become self-effacing and accommodating, idealizing others and "going along" with their wishes, saying "yes" to things they do not really want to do. Fall into conventional roles and expectations. Use philosophies and stock sayings to deflect others. Level 5: Active, but disengaged, unreflective, and inattentive. Do not want to be affected, so become unresponsive and complacent, walking away from problems, and "sweeping them under the rug." Thinking becomes hazy and ruminative, mostly comforting fantasies, as they begin to "tune out" reality, becoming oblivious. Emotionally indolent, unwillingness to exert self or to focus on problems: indifference. Level 6: Begin to minimize problems, to appease others and to have "peace at any price." Stubborn, fatalistic, and resigned, as if nothing could be done to change anything. Into wishful thinking, and magical solutions. Others frustrated and angry by their procrastination and unresponsiveness. Level 7: Can be highly repressed, undeveloped, and ineffectual. Feel incapable of facing problems: become obstinate, dissociating self from all conflicts. Neglectful and dangerous to others. Level 8: Wanting to block out of awareness anything that could affect, them, they dissociate so much that they eventually cannot function: numb, depersonalized. Level 9: They finally become severely disoriented and catatonic, abandoning themselves, turning into shattered shells. Multiple personalities possible. Generally corresponds to the Schizoid and Dependent personality disorders.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Nines: 9w1
Tend to have been "model children." Instinctively worked to please their parents by being virtuous, orderly, and little trouble. When awakened, they have great moral authority plus good-hearted peacemaking tendencies. Often have a sense of mission, public or private, that involves working hard for the welfare of everyone they are committed to. Principled expression of love. Desire to contribute, do little harm. May be well-liked, modest, endearing, gentle yet firm. Some have great grace and composure with bursts of spontaneity and sweetness. Elegant simplicity. When entranced, they tend to be self-neglectful. May go passively dead and operate from a dubious, fractured morality. Dutiful to what they shouldn't be. Play the good child, disappear into contexts, settle for being overlooked or just partly recognized. Passive tolerance of absurd or damaging situations. One-sided relationships where the Nine gives too much. Rationalize, minimize, tell themselves they had a great childhood, everything's fine. Placid numbness creeps over them. Intolerance of their own emotions. Gradually deaden their soul. Real-Life Nines With a 1 Wing: Annette Bening, Tony Bennett, Warren Christopher, Connie Chung, The Dalai Lama, Annette Funicello, Mahatma Gandhi, Charles Grodin, Patty Hearst, Audrey Hepburn, Anjelica Huston, Grace Kelly, Nancy Kerrigan, Martin Sheen, James Stewart. Movie Nines With a 1 Wing: Tom Cruise, Risky Business; Annette Funicello, Back To The Beach; Chief Dan George, Little Big Man; Graham Greene, Dances With Wolves; Audrey Hepburn, Robin And Marian; Eva Marie Saint, Nothing In Common; Wallace Shawn, My Dinner With Andre; Tom Skerritt, The Turning Point; Harry Dean Stanton, Paris, Texas; Donald Sutherland, Ordinary People; Joanne Woodward, Mr. And Mrs. Bridge.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Nines: 9w8
Awakened Nines with an 8 wing have a modest, steady, receptive core. They are charged by the dynamism of 8 - when focused on goals they often have great force of will. Get things done, make good leaders. May have an animal magnetism of which they are only partly aware. Can seem highly centered, take what they do seriously but remain unimpressed with themselves. 8 wing can bring a strong internal sense of direction. Relatively fearless and highly intuitive. Generally not intellectual unless they have it in their background. When more entranced, they manifest the contradictions of the two styles expressing them in sequence. Could be passively amiable like a Nine and then turn horribly blunt like an 8. One moment they are opinionated or nasty, next moment kindly and supportive. Often don't hear their voices when angry. Can have a sharp, grating edge. May be slow to anger and then explode. Or angry but don't know it; may confuse being assertive with being rude. Placidly callous - both styles support numbness. Tactless and indiscriminate and indiscreet. May be unwittingly disloyal, spilling everyone's secrets. Sexual confusion, sometimes they are driven by lust. Real-Life Nines With an 8 Wing: Clint Eastwood, Peter Falk, Gerald Ford, James Garner, John Goodman, Elliott Gould, Woody Harrelson, Helmut Kohl, Carl Rogers, Gena Rowlands, Gloria Steinem. Movie Nines With an 8 Wing: Richard Burton, Beckett; Sean Connery, The Russia House; Clint Eastwood, Tightrope, Unforgiven; Sam Elliott, Lifeguard; Elliott Gould, The Long Goodbye; Woody Harrelson, White Men Can't Jump; Bob Hoskins, Mona Lisa; Ann-Margret, A New Life; Al Pacino, Sea Of Love.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Nines: Instinctual Variants

As a Mediator, you believe that merging into others and/or seeking little comforts will compensate for the value and significance that you dont believe can come from within. You forget your own inner agenda and replace this with substitutes. Your energy goes into merging with and accommodating others. This results in inertia or sloth (laziness toward yourself), which gets manifested through the instinctual subtype behaviors.
Self-preservation: Appetite In the Self-preservation instinct, your inertia energy flows into appetites. You seek comfort through interests, daily rhythms, and little things, not realizing that the appetite or craving is a substitute for your true needs because it feels so compelling. These outer interests draw your energy or soothe you. They can feel vital, comforting, and even a temporary replacement for love. You like a practical structure and daily rhythm that supports your life. You get lost in chores or errands, or veg out in front of the TV. You become engrossed in your routines, reading, collections or hobbies. Having lost touch with the inner you, you reconnect through these substitutes, and your discomfort temporarily abates. At your worst, you become preoccupied (stubbornly involved) with a myriad of inessentials (small talk, ruminations about what to wear, all the errands, etc.), resulting in no time for the completion of your own priorities. Social: Participation In the social domain you join with a group and channel your sloth or inertia into comforting group and social activities. Through participation, you feel included and loved. You can totally forget your own agenda as you fill up with social interaction and activities. In leadership you can be quite selfless. You dispense and disperse your energy into timetables, procedures, roles and goals. You promote the welfare of the group or community through your selfless participation and ability to mediate. You can find a comfortable niche and sense of belonging. Moreover, participation and defined activities keep you from experiencing the inertia or sloth toward yourself. At your worst, you can get swallowed up in the minutia of group activities, and become preoccupied with fitting in. You dont speak up when you know a better way, because its easier to go along to get along. One-to-One: Union In the one-to-one arena, you seek comfort through the special other. Your sloth or inertia manifests through absorbing the other into yourself his/her point of view, agenda or feelings. You feel safe and whole in this union with your partner, with nature or with the divine. Your experience of being overlooked or disregarded evaporates as your identity merges into the other, nature or the divine. You are swept along feeling, I gain belonging, importance and love through union. At your worst, since there is a you inside, you can get lost in the other and then become quite resistive, passive-aggressive, and even countermerging, all the while not being present to either yourself or the special other.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Type 9
Here is a present, awake, dynamic nine personality. They know what they want, they believe in themselves, they realize their desires are important and they no longer need to avoid confrontation or pressure. They no longer always accommodate others as a way to avoid conflict.
Here is how the typical nine personality manifests. They imagine pressures and conflict about to invade their peace in any moment. To escape these pressures they feel they have to numb themselves as their only means to find peace. They strive for harmony, peace and comfort but this desire makes them amiable and agreeable as a way to be left alone. It also drives them to seek comfort in routines, television, food, computers, alcohol or drugs. They go along with the others but then feel resentful and get back in passive-aggressive ways (Saying they'll do something but never getting around to it even if they've promised to do a task.) The experience they're unconsciously resisting is anger. They're afraid of anger and can feel mortified if it rises up. Yet when they consciously allow anger to be felt they can become free of their fear of this anger. In fact they discover the anger to be masking a large reservoir of energy that they actually enjoy being in touch with.
They refuse to see if there is any problem, they obsessively numb out and they can waste their lives by seeking comfort instead of realizing their dreams. They'll also live vicariously through others, never actualizing their own dreams but supporting others instead. We see this when the nine plays the supporting role in a business or supports a stronger personality in their lives. (Nines can join communities or support teachers or bosses and hide out in a numbing supporting role rather than go after their own dreams or go for the lead role themselves.) They can of course be brilliant leaders . . . think of the Dalai Lama. It's not that nines can't be leaders. They can and wonderful leaders too. So it's important for this type to realize it if they're hiding out in a supporting role, when deep in their hearts they'd prefer to be an 'alpha' rather than the 'beta'. Once they realize they're hiding out they can begin to play a leading role.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Type 9
Passive-Aggressive Personality Disorder may begin at Level 5. Dependent Personality Disorder may begin at Level 6. Schizoid Personality Disorder may begin at Level 7. Dissociative Disorders may begin at Level 8. Over-eating or under-eating due to lack of self-awareness and repressed anger. Lack of physical activity. Depressants and psychotropics, alcohol, marijuana, narcotics to deaden loneliness and anxiety.
This personality is friendly, peaceful and can talk the leg off a chair. They run to comfort using food, conversation, computers, TV or anything which could be used to numb themselves from the pressures of life. They run from conflict and say yes when they mean no because it seems less confronting that way. But once they've said yes they're annoyed with themselves so they seek comfort to avoid the pressure of doing what they said they would do.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Type 9
Ken Murray, LCSW
Personality Type Nine as a Parent
Ken Murray, LCSW
Type 9
Ken Murray, LCSW
Minutiae
Ken Murray, LCSW
Kens Typology Using Full RHETI and RHETI Sampler

RHETI v2.5 (144 Questions)
Type 1 Type 2 Type 3 Type 4 Type 5 Type 6 Type 7 Type 8 Type 9 0 24 11 12 10 16 12 21 28 2
RHETI Sampler (36 Questions)
Thinking (Head) Center Fives, Sixes and Sevens 49 Feeling (Heart) Center Twos, Threes and Fours 41
Hornevian Group
Centers
Assertive Group Three, Seven, Eight Ennea Type 69 Dutiful Group One, Two, Six 47
Harmonics Group
5 Instinctive (Body) Center Eights, Nines and Ones 54
10
15
20
Competency One, Three, Five 52 Intensity Four, Six, Eight 50 Positive Outlook Two, Seven, Nine 34
25
30
Ken Murray, LCSW
Withdrawn Group Four, Five, Nine 28
8w7 Sexual instinct Body center Assertive Hornevian Group Intensity Harmonics Group
Ken Murray, LCSW
Communication Styles
1: Tend to talk in black and white and often sound over-controlled. Visible restraint, even when theyre feeling great emotion. 2: Usually talk about others, not themselves. Twos divert attention to you. More emotional volume than most styles. That was the absolute best Ive ever seen. This change for me was HUGE! 3: Want to look good in order to succeed, tend to speak in the language of the role theyre playing. What words would a manager be expected to use, for example? A movie star? A politician? 4: Sometimes lost in their own moods. Tend toward lamentation and lots of feeling words. Events are recalled by their emotional reaction. Tend to dwell on the past. 5: Likely not to talk, desire to keep a distance. But if asked an important question on a topic about which theyre knowledgeable, can go on far longer than you thought possible. A dissertation, and can seem academic, even condescending. 6. Conversation represents the group. One Six interrupted a meeting with something from his own agenda, and when challenged about its relevance replied petulantly, But its for the good of the group! Can also change their thinking to match that of the groups, which is subtle and more difficult to see happening. 7. Usually upbeat, energetic, positive people who love to talk. Energy from their search for variety and pleasure. Like to entertain in conversation, often talking in pictures. 8. Tend to have loud voices and are not given to circumlocution. Its this way and no other reflects their strategy to take control and their dislike of showing weakness. 9. May talk in sagas. Can take them five minutes to say its raining. This stems from their taking all points of view, seeing everything as interconnected, and not being practiced in stating a position clearly.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Focus of Attention Each style sorts for different things. Each notices some things first and other things later.
1. Ones notice whats wrong, 2. Twos notice people. 3. Threes notice what others expect. 4. Fours notice how they feel. 5. Fives notice information. 6. Sixes notice what can go wrong. 7. Sevens notice opportunity and action. 8. Eights notice who has what kind of power. 9. Nines appear not to notice, but in fact they dont notice themselves.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Parental Orientation
Parent Nurturing Figure Protective Figure Both Connected 3 6 9 Ambivalent 8 2 5 Disconnected 7 1 4
Everyones personality type is the result of having had a primary orientation to the nurturing figure (usually the mother or mother-substitute) or a primary orientation to the protective figure (usually the father or the father-substitute), or a primary orientation equally towards both.
Ken Murray, LCSW
Relative Frequency
The types are not distributed equally - at least not in US culture. Estimates are: Ones: 10% Twos: 15% (Heavily skewed: [women >20%, men <5%) Threes: 9% Fours: 10% Fives: 10% Sixes: 18% Sevens: 10% Eights: 5% (Men make up >7%, but women only <3%) Nines: 12%
Ken Murray, LCSW

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Enneagrams

Ken Murray, LCSW

Simple to Extremely Complex System

54 Variants 486 Possible Variants

Ken Murray, LCSW

The Triadic Groups

Instinctive (Body) Center Eights, Nines and Ones

Attachment Three, Six, Nine

Assertive Group Three, Seven, Eight

Positive Outlook Two, Seven, Nine

Thinking (Head) Center Fives, Sixes and Sevens

Frustration One, Four, Seven

Dutiful Group One, Two, Six

Competency One, Three, Five

Feeling (Heart) Center Twos, Threes and Fours

Rejection Two, Five, Eight

Withdrawn Group Four, Five, Nine

Intensity Four, Six, Eight

Ken Murray, LCSW

Centers of Intelligence: Head, Heart, and Gut

Heart Center Functions: Experiencing feelings Emotional relating Sensitivity to others

Body Center Functions: Movement Physical Sensations Action or Inaction Control

Productive Uses Effective Action Steadfastness Gut Knowing

Non-Productive Uses Excessive Action Passivity Reactivity

Ken Murray, LCSW

Centers of Intelligence: Responses to Signature Emotion

Ken Murray, LCSW

Dominant Functions of Types (Attitudes and Behaviors)

Ken Murray, LCSW

Ken Murray, LCSW

Main Themes of Harmonic Groups

EMOTIONAL REALNESS (INTENSITY) GROUP

Ken Murray, LCSW

Ken Murray, LCSW

Basic type dominates your overall personality

Ken Murray, LCSW

Instinctual Variants (Each One in UsOne is the dominant focus)

Ken Murray, LCSW

Centers of Intelligence and Therapy Issues

Body Center Direct Action Control Honesty and Clarity

Ken Murray, LCSW

Levels of Development and Behaviors/Attitudes

Ken Murray, LCSW

Ken Murray, LCSW

The Program of Perfection and Resentment

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Type 1: The Reformer

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Ones: Interacting With Them

Dont Appeal To: The Quick, Dirty Fix Because I Said So

Ken Murray, LCSW

Type 1: The Reformer

Ken Murray, LCSW

Ken Murray, LCSW

Ken Murray, LCSW

Ones: Instinctual Variants

Ken Murray, LCSW

Ken Murray, LCSW

Ken Murray, LCSW

Ken Murray, LCSW

Personality Type One as a Parent

Ken Murray, LCSW

Ken Murray, LCSW

The Program of Helpfulness With Manipulation