Empathy takes time, and efficiency is for things, not people.

Stephen Covey

Stephen E. Lucas 2001 All rights reserved.

Stephen E. Lucas 2001 All rights reserved.

Hearing

Listening

Vibration of sound waves on eardrum & firing of electrochemical impulses in brain.

Paying close attention to, & making sense of, what we hear.

McGraw-Hill

Stephen E. Lucas 2001 All rights reserved.

The Nature of Listening

Listening
The ability to understand, analyze, respect, and appropriately respond to the meaning of another persons spoken and nonverbal messages

Time Spent Listening

How Well Do We Listen?

Most people cannot accurately report 50% percent of a spoken message. Without training, most people listen at only 25% efficiency. Listeners often distort or misunderstand the intended meaning of spoken messages.

Causes of Poor Listening

Not concentrating Listening too hard Jumping to conclusions Focusing on delivery and personal appearance

Stephen E. Lucas 2001 All rights reserved.

Thought-Speech Differential
Difference between speaking rate & thinking rate Speak at about 150 wpm Think at 400-600 wpm Where your mind goes with that extra thinking time can hurt or help your listening effectiveness!

McGraw-Hill Stephen E. Lucas 2001 All rights reserved.

At a LectureOnly 12% Listen

20% are pursuing erotic thoughts 20% are reminiscing 20% are paying attention to lecture, but of those only 12% are actively listening Others are worrying, daydreaming, thinking about lunchor religion (8%)
San Francisco Sunday Examiner and Chronicle

McGraw-Hill

Stephen E. Lucas 2001 All rights reserved.

Types of Memory

Short-term memory the content a person remembers immediately after listening to a series of numbers, words, sentences, or paragraphs. Working memory the subsystem we use to understand, remember, or use information to solve a problem or communicate with others.

Types of Listening

Discriminative Listening Comprehensive Listening Empathic Listening Analytical Listening Appreciative Listening

Discriminative and Comprehensive Listening

Discriminative Listening: Do you accurately distinguish auditory and/or visual stimuli? Comprehensive Listening: Do you accurately understand the meaning (main ideas and arguments) of messages?

Empathic and Analytical Listening

Empathic Listening: Do you understand and identify with a members situation, feelings, or motives? Analytical Listening: Do you analyze and form appropriate opinions about the content of a message?

Pathetic Listening Garfields Empathetic

McGraw-Hill

Stephen E. Lucas 2001 All rights reserved.

Appreciative Listening
Do you appreciate the way group members speak and think? Do you appreciate the use of effective language? Do you appreciate a members humor, persuasiveness, or eloquence?

Group Roles and Listening

Members who assume important task roles are often good comprehensive and analytical listeners. Members who assume important maintenance roles are often good empathic and appreciative listeners.

Leadership and Listening

Effective Leaders:

are good listeners. know when and how to use comprehensive, empathic, analytical, and appreciative listening. are proactive listeners.

Major Listening Strategies

Use

your extra thought-speed to listen more effectively.

the Golden Listening Rule.

Apply

Speech vs. Thought Speed

Most people talk at 125150 words per minute. People think at 400+ words per minute. Thought speed is the speed at which most people can think compared to the speed at which they can speak. What do you do with this excess time?

Use Your Extra Thought Speed

Use your extra thought speed to . . .

identify and summarize main ideas. interpret nonverbal behavior. analyze arguments. assess the messages relevance.

Apply the Golden Listening Rule

Listen

to others as you would have them listen to you. Suspend your own needs in order to listen to someone elses.

Group Listening Skills

Listen

for big ideas. Overcome distractions. Listen to nonverbal behavior. Listen before you leap. Help your group listen.

The Art of Paraphrasing

Paraphrasing
The ability to restate what people say in a way that indicates you understand them

A form of feedback that asks Am I rightis this what you mean? Matches the content, depth, meaning, and language of a members message

Male-Female Listening

Men are more likely to be comprehensive and analytical listeners. Men tend to hear facts. Women are more likely to be empathic and appreciative listeners. Women are usually more aware of the mood of communication.
Deborah Tannen, You Just Dont Understand

Myers-Briggs & Listening

Introverts: Good comprehensive listeners Extroverts: More eager to speak than listen Sensors: Listen for facts and figures Intuitives: Listen for key ideas and themes Thinkers: Effective analytical listeners Feelers: Effective empathic listeners Judgers: Leap to conclusions Perceivers: Effective appreciative listeners

Chinese Symbol for Listening

Self-Listening in Groups

Monitor and understand the effects of what you say. Translate feedback into useful information about the way you speak and listen. Be aware of and analyze your internal thought processes: What you want to say may not be what you should say.

Self-Listening in Groups
1. 2.

3. 4. 5. 6. 7.

What do I want to say? What are the consequences of saying what I want to say? Have I listened comprehensively? Have I listened critically? Have I listened empathically? Have I listened appreciatively? So, what should I say?

How to Become a Better Listener

Take listening seriously. Dont create or tolerate distractions. Dont be diverted by appearance or delivery. Suspend judgment. Focus your listening. Develop note-taking skills.

McGraw-Hill

Stephen E. Lucas 2001 All rights reserved.

Meaning of Empathy

Understand another persons emotions and feelings Understand ones own feelings and emotions. Supporting others who are in need. Making people feel better about them. To be able to exercise self-control. To treat others the way you want to be treated.
Stephen E. Lucas 2001 All rights reserved.

Ways To Show Empathy

Be aware of another persons feelings by showing concern. Show sensitivity by looking at their facial expressions. Ask questions to understand feelings. Give a simple sign of affection such as hug or a tender touch.

What is Empathetic Listening?

Empathetic listening is when one listens with the intend to understand how the speaker feels. To understand his/her ideas. Identify with persons emotion and feelings

How to Listen Empathetically

Actively attempt to understand the Others point of view Take in information without passing judgment Acknowledge the speaker Model empathetic practices Create a trusting environment Allow the expression of emotion and sharing of problems
Stephen E. Lucas 2001 All rights reserved.

Benefits of Empathetic Listening

Builds trust and respect Allows for emotional release Reduces tensions Uncovers hidden information Creates a safe environment Helps clarify parties thoughts Aids understanding of context

Stephen E. Lucas 2001 All rights reserved.

Specific things to DO

Be attentive Be interested Be alert Create a positive atmosphere Allow the Other to bounce ideas off of you Indicate you are listening Reflect your understanding back to the speaker
Stephen E. Lucas 2001 All rights reserved.

Specific things to AVOID

Change the subject Discount the speakers feelings Let the speaker hook you into an emotional exchange Interrupt Give advice Interrogate
Stephen E. Lucas 2001 All rights reserved.

Empathetic listening Tips

Be interested in speaker. Have good eye contact and body language. Have less distractions. Allow the speaker to talk Respond in a tone that is appropriate for that situation.

Points to Remember

Listening without judgments Understanding point of view Supporting Reflecting back Sincerity Showing self-control

Stephen E. Lucas 2001 All rights reserved.