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He was born in Israel in 1922 He studied clinical psychology at Columbia University in New York He was a clinical psychologist, parent educator and author of 3 books: Parent & Child, Parent & Teenager, Teenager & Child
He worked with troubled youth in a guidance clinic in Jacksonville, Florida He believed that there was no such thing as an unacceptable child, only unacceptable behaviours
His experience in Jacksonville has guided him to his unique combination of compassion and boundary setting
DEFINITION
According
Appropriate
and suitable exchange of expressions or information between the speakers. communication is a style of speaking that does not attack others, but instead remains harmonious with feelings being experienced. (Ginott, 1971) (cited in Charles 1999, 57)
Congruent
Use congruent communication Promote self-discipline for both teachers and students Accept and acknowledge students and their actions without belittling the individual Avoid evaluative praise, and use appreciative praise Avoid sending you messages and use I messages to describe how a behavior makes the someone feel Demonstrate their best behaviors or those that contribute to a classroom environment
He reminded teachers that learning always takes place in the PRESENT TENSE (teachers must NOT judge students or hold grudges)
He believed in harmonious communication communication that is harmonious with students feelings about situation and themselves
1) Sane Messages
(Messages that focus on what needs to be corrected without attacking students character or personality) Address situations rather than students characters Acknowledge and accept students feelings Often teachers use language that blames, orders, accuses or threatens to students Use language that focuses on situation and facts not threatening students self esteem
You-message, example : Why are you always talking, I told you to stop talking
3) Invite Cooperation
Describing the situation when a problem occurs and indicating what needs to be done Do not boss the students around give them choices in matters that effect their life in the classroom (seating arrangement/classroom procedure) Provide opportunities for students to experience independence, accepting their capabilities Always ask yourself, How can I be most helpful to my students right now?
4) Praise
EVALUATIVE PRAISE Comments on students character Example Good boy for raising your hand
APPRECIATIVE PRAISE Responding to effort or improvement Teacher shows appreciation for what the student has done
NO WHY QUESTIONS! Why cant you be good for a change? Why do you forget everything I teach you?
Strengths
1. Addresses the students action rather than the students character. The class moves along much better, Terry, when you raise your hand and I call on you.
2. Invites cooperation between the teacher and student. Devin, would you please take our new student to the restroom? 3. Congruent communication accepts and acknowledges the feelings of both students and teachers. I realize, Martha, that you would prefer not to speak at the graduation. However, your parents would be so disappointed if you let this opportunity pass by. You one day would also feel terrible about not seizing the opportunity. 4. Congruent communication uses brevity in correcting misbehavior Stacy, please put that away. 5. Expresses anger appropriately. Victor, I am sorry that your aunt felt that I was mistreating you. I do not remember ever calling you down for attempting to answer our Daily Oral Language answers. But, if I have, I will do my best to make sure that you do get an opportunity to respond with your answers occasionally.
Teachers clearly communicate their expectations in a manner that helps students feel accepted
This open communication promotes autonomy among the students
Teacher would be more of a facilitator for conversations that include every member of the class and address all the important issues
It is important to value the contributions and to listen to everyones ideas
Teacher should always strive to guide students to acceptable behaviour rather than critisize Negative criticism can lead to the lowering of a childs self-esteem and increase self-doubt Criticism should be used constructively for improvement Negative remarks should not be made about a childs personality (i.e. character should not be attacked, embarrassment should be avoided)
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