Managing Conflict

Types of conflict
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN CONFLICT IS
BADLY MANAGED or
IGNORED?????????????????
WHEN CONFLICT IS BADLY MANAGED or
IGNORED, the following often occurs...
 anxiety  anger
 withdrawal  loss of productivity
 Procrastination  resentment
 helplessness  high blood pressure
 Confusion  stress
 Denial  tiredness
 separation  Illness
 escalation  broken crockery
 polarization
 loneliness
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN
CONFLICT IS MANAGED
SKILLFULLY……..
WHEN CONFLICT IS MANAGED
SKILLFULLY, the results are
different.
 a sense of smooth running  a sense of achievement

 comfort  a sense of expansion

 Fun
 Teamwork
 vitality
 change
 Growth
 happiness
 expanded relationships
 openness  Peace
 Efficiency  relaxation
 feeling of power  good health
 relief  restful sleep
 comradeship
Class Activity: Name Types
of Conflict We Face…………….
A road map to identifying
five types of conflict:
Information Perceived
Conflicts Conflicts

Data Interest
Conflicts Conflicts
Relationship
Structural
Conflicts Value
Conflicts
Conflicts

External
Structural
Conflicts
Conflicts
Types of conflict
 By evaluating these five categories of conflict – we
can begin to determine the causes of a conflict and
design resolution strategies that will have a higher
probability of success.

Data Conflicts Interest

Relation Conflicts
ship Structural
Conflict
s Value Conflicts Conflicts
Data aka Information conflicts caused
by:
 Data conflicts occur when people;

 Lack information necessary to make

wise decisions,

 Misinformation,

 Disagreements on the relevancy of

information,

 Different Interpretation of information

 Some data conflicts may be unnecessary since
they are caused by poor communication between
the people in conflict.

 While others may be genuine incompatibilities

associated with data collection, interpretation or
communication. (WTO,UNO…)
Receiver Responsibilities
 A plumber wrote to the National Bureau of Standards to tell
them hydrochloric acid is good for cleaning out clogged
drains.

 A technical specialist wrote back: the efficacy of hydrochloric

acid is indisputable, but the corrosive residue is incompatible
with metallic permanence.

 We cannot assume responsibility for the production of toxic

and noxious residue with hydrochloric acid, and suggest you
use an alternative procedure.

 Finally, Manager wrote: Don’t use hydrochloric acid. It eats

the hell out of pipes.
 A Shared Semantic Code

My My Your Your
World of World of World of World of
Experiences Words Words Experiences

My Semantic Your Semantic

Code Code
Exercise 2: FUZZY MEANINGS

 OBJECTIVE: to illustrate the wide range of

meanings which are often attached to common
words and phrases in our language.

 PROCEDURE: Look at the list of commonly used

words and phrases like the following that
characterize different degrees or frequencies of
events and tell us what they mean to
you…………..
FUZZY MEANINGS
Often
Always 100%
Sometimes
Never
Usually
Most of the time
Occasionally
Seldom please specify a number
A lot from 0 to 100 that, best
Almost indicates the amount
Rarely (percentage) of time that
each word conveys.
Frequently
Quite often
 FUZZY MEANINGS
Often On regular basis

Always Ceaselessly
Sometimes Once in a while

Never Not at all

Usually More often than not

Most of the time More often than not

Occasionally Seldom

Seldom Hardly ever

A lot Plenty

Almost Always Nearly every time

Rarely Once in a blue moon

Frequently Regularly

Quite often Fairly regularly

 Ways to address data conflicts:
 Most data conflicts will have "data
solutions."

 Reach agreement on what information is important.

and relevant

 Agree on information collection process (primary &

secondary research)

 Develop common criteria to assess information.

(how two parties to a contract interpret information)

 Use third-party experts to get outside opinion or

break deadlock.
Relationship conflicts caused by:
 Relationship conflicts occur because of the
presence of
 Misperceptions or stereotypes,
 All Motorcyclists are Hells Angels.

 All Muslims are terrorists.

 All Lawyers are crooks.

 Poor communication or
miscommunication,

 Repetitive negative behaviors

I don't care
I don't give a damn
I don't want to hear.
 Strong negative emotions,

• Don’t judge emotions.

• No one’s feelings are more or less “right” than the other’s.

• Emotions reflect a valid perspective of an individual. Even if you

don’t understand it, acknowledge the other person’s reaction as
important.

• Relationship problems
often fuel disputes and
lead to an unnecessary
escalating spiral of
destructive conflict.
Ways to address relationship conflicts:

 Supporting the safe and balanced expression of

perspectives and emotions for acknowledgment is
one effective approach to managing relational conflict.
Ways to address relationship
conflicts:
 Control negative expressions

 Promote process that legitimizes feelings.

 Clarify perceptions - build positive perceptions.

 Improve quality and quantity of communication.

 Block negative behavior by changing structure.

(Exercise)

 Encourage positive problem-solving attitudes.

Exercise: Changing Negative to
Positive
1. “I have a problem at work.”

2. “You never take me anywhere. We always stay home and watch

TV.”

3. “You should have worked on that management report instead of

filing papers.”

4. “You were really bad for missing work when we had a deadline
to meet.”

5. “One of his faults that drives me crazy, is that his desk is always
a mess.”

6. “You made a mistake.”

PROBLEMS become
SITUATIONS
 A negative statement “I have a problem at work.”

 Contrast this with the more positive, “I have a difficult

situation at work.”

 A problem seems as though it is stuck to you and will

always be there.

 A situation, on the other hand, seems temporary and

solvable.
ALWAYS and NEVER become
OFTEN and SELDOM
 A negative statement, “You never take me anywhere. We always
stay home and watch TV.”

 Contrast this with the more positive, “ Since we seldom go out in

the evenings, and we're often so tired we just watch TV, I get
frustrated. I would love to have a special evening out with you. Can
we plan one together?”

 Always and never are negative words because they are rarely true
and exaggerate a situation. Since they are usually used to criticize,
people feel attacked and become defensive.

 In the second statement, however, you are explaining your own

feelings and desires, so there is no need for your partner to get
defensive, and you are more likely to get your wish – an enjoyable
evening out.
SHOULD HAVE becomes COULD
HAVE
 A negative statement, “You should have worked on that
management report instead of filing papers.”

 Contrast this with the more positive, “You could have

worked on that management report instead of filing
papers.”

 Using the words, should have, creates guilt and shame for
something that has already been done and cannot be
changed,

 whereas the words, could have, don't condemn anyone.

They let someone know he or she had a choice, and this
experience then becomes a lesson for making better
choices in the future.
BAD becomes UNWISE
 A negative statement, “You were really bad for missing
work when we had a deadline to meet.”

 Contrast this with the more positive “Missing work when

we had a deadline to meet was not a wise decision. The
rest of us had to work overtime. Would you please find a
way to make it up to us.”

 Using the word, bad, is a judgment of a person's

character, and causes resentment. On the other hand,
using the word,

 unwise, refers to the natural consequences of the

person's actions, and doesn't judge a person's basic
character.
FAULTS become DIFFERENCES
 A negative statement, “One of his faults that drives me
crazy, is that his desk is always a mess.”

 Contrast this with the more positive, “One of the

differences between us is that he keeps his desk messy,
while I get frustrated unless everything is put in its place.”

 In using the word, faults, you are judging someone's

actions as right or wrong.

 Using the word, differences, removes the critical tone,

because you are pointing out how you are different, not that
one person is right or wrong.
MISTAKES become VALUABLE
LESSONS
 A negative statement, “You made a mistake.”

 Contrast this with the more positive, “There is a valuable

lesson in what you did.”

 The first way makes others feel ashamed of what they

did, and will probably inhibit them from trying new
things in the future.

 The second way gives others something positive to do

– to learn from their actions, thereby encouraging
learning and experimentation.
 The bottom line is that words can either be
destructive or enriching to your
relationships with other people.

 So, before you allow the words to simply

flow out of your mouth without considering
what they mean, remember this one very
important word - THINK.
 Value conflicts caused by:
 Value conflicts are caused by perceived or actual
incompatible belief systems.

 Values are beliefs that people use to give meaning

to their lives. Values explain what is "good" or
"bad," "right" or "wrong," "just" or "unjust."

 Differing values need not cause conflict.

 Beliefs are not true. They are constructs
around which we organize our behaviors.
 So we each behave as though our beliefs
were true. (Conservatives vs. liberals)

 What are attitudes?

 "A settled opinion, or way of thinking"

 Attitudes - we can only infer them from a

person’s behavior

 They are attributes of personality

 Values are deeply held beliefs about
what is good, right, and appropriate.

 Values are deep-seated and remain

constant over time.

 We accumulate our values from childhood

based on teachings and observations of
our parents, teachers, religious leaders,
and other influential and powerful people.

 Example: Maria felt stressed out and didn't

know what to do when her boss implied she
should lie to a client; honesty is one of
Maria’s most deeply held values.
Value conflicts caused by:
 People can live together in harmony with
different value systems.

 Value disputes arise only when;

 people attempt to force one set of

values on others or (TALIBAN, the
WEST, etc.)

 lay claim to exclusive value systems

that do not allow for divergent beliefs.
 Ways to address value conflicts:
 Reframing
 Third parties can sometime help the disputants to redefine or reframe
their conflict, focusing more on attainable interests and less on non-
negotiable positions.

 Dialogue
 Dialogue is a process of in-depth communication that allows parties to
get to know each other better and to find commonalities with the other
side.

 Allow parties to agree and disagree.

 Search for goal that all parties can agree to.

 Focus on the behavior, situation or problem
area without attacking the person involved.

 Do not assume your values or beliefs are

“right.” They reflect a view of the world from
your unique perspective.

 Respecting another’s viewpoint as equally

valuable opens an opportunity for learning and
growth.
Structural conflicts caused by:
 Structural conflicts are caused by forces external to
the people in dispute.

 Limited physical resources or authority,

 Unequal power and authority
 geographic constraints (distance or proximity),
 time constraints (too little or too much),
 organizational changes,

 These and others can make structural conflict seem

like a crisis.
Ways to address structural conflicts:
 Parties' appreciation that a conflict has an external
source can have the effect of them coming to jointly
address the imposed difficulties.

 Clearly define roles.

 Reallocate ownership or control of resources.
 Establish fair and mutually acceptable decision-making process.
 Change negotiations from positional to interest-based bargaining.
 Modify means of parties (less coercion, more persuasion).
 Change physical and environmental relations.
Interest conflicts caused by:
 Interest conflicts are caused by competition over
perceived incompatible needs.

 Conflicts of interest result when one or more of the

parties believe that in order to satisfy his or her
needs, the needs and interests of an opponent must
be sacrificed.

 Interest-based conflict will commonly be expressed

in positional terms.
Interest conflicts caused by:
 Interest-based conflicts may occur
over substantive issues (such as
money, physical resources, time, etc.);

 procedural issues (the way the

dispute is to be resolved); and

 psychological issues (perceptions of

trust, fairness, desire for participation,
respect, etc.).
 Resolving Interest conflicts:

 Focus on interests, not positions.

 Look for objective criteria.

 Look for solutions that meet needs of all parties.

 Search for ways to expand options/resources.

 Develop trade-offs to satisfy interests of different strengths.

Causes of conflict:

Data Interest
Conflicts Conflicts
Relationship Structural
Conflicts Value Conflicts
Conflicts