You Dont Find Love,

You Inspire It

Force moves the body

Persuasion moves the mind
Inspiration moves the spirit

Force can get you a physical

response

Persuasion can get you

agreement

But only inspiration ignites the

dual engines of love

To inspire a woman means...

(1) to (happen to) breathe life into
her being by virtue of the man you
are in the world and
(2) to (consciously) breathe life into
her by virtue of the man you choose
to be with her

and

To inspire a woman means

(3) to be the support/agent of her
transcending her own physical and
mental limitations, her doubts and
self-doubts

 to transcend her cycles of

getting and spending, her
resignation, her cynicism

Context

You Inspire Love by

(1) what you do in the World
(2) what you do in her World
(3) what you do for HER World

Each of these steps means

moving beyond stasis

This is only for you if you want

this most vivifying level of love

and not merely

security
a strategy of ego
social standing and expectations
attachment strategy
feeling needed
economic strategy

How We Talk About Identity

Frames How We Talk About Love

All I Want is a
Billionaire, Bisexual,
Nymphomaniac Chef
.. (whos enlightened)

Homo Inspiratum

Mans nature is an ever

emergent open system that
evolves in saccadic
quantum-like jumps.

- Claire W. Graves
Spiral Dynamics

My working hypothesis
Anything less than living from your
inspired self sells your evolving
love/life short

Identity?

Or this place of identifying as a

being who at core lives as
actively inspired

so that

Your Inspired Unique Self meets and

inspires your partners
Inspired Unique Self

Im Going to Argue That There

are 3 Aspects to Inspiring Love in
a Worthy Woman

Step #1

Step #2
Inspire Her With
Your Relationship Skills

Step #3
Support Her Expansion
into Her Inspired Life

www.AdamGilad/Inspired

You Inspire Love by

(1) what you do in the World
(2) what you do in her World
(3) what you do for HER World

Category #1
In The World
The Inspired Man
Inspires Love
by Living an Inspired Life
(* EDGE beyond mental filters)

1: Physical mastery, prowess

accomplishments
2: Financial acumen, power,
penetration, success
3: Emotional connectedness and
authenticity, character

4: Intellectual power and reach/ wit

5: Social leadership, embeddedness

service/ humanity
6: Sexual expression and skillset
7: Creative artistry

8: Play and Fun

9: Spiritual groundedness, practice

Category #2

In her world
The Inspired Man
Inspires Love With
Inspiring Partnership
Skills
Applied Character

Safety
Felt and Seen
Validated and Valued
Special and Unique
Cherished

Category #3
For Her World
(* beyond her mental filters)

You can inspire her into the

journey into HER unique self

Dianne
Ive been inspired by the feeling of
being safe and looked out for.
There's nothing more sexy and
inspiring that a man who's got it
handled
(Physical Competence, Relationship
Skills, Safety)

Deb
My short answer is: His Mind. That's
typically the biggest turn on for me. It both
inspires me and excites me to BE a better me
and think bigger, be better, and reach levels I
never imagined as a little farm girl just
wanting to escape my town and travel the
world.
(Intellectual)
*opens new landscapes

Annie:
I fell in love with Eben at Burning Man
when he was giving a talk about he
future of mankind

(Social Purpose, Intellectual,

Spiritual)

Mariana:
His brain, his spirituality, his
commitment to his work.
Athleticism. And math skills

(mental, spiritual, financial,

intellectual)

Samira
Passion for what he creates in the
world for the greater good this is a
contagious joy and an inspiration. If
there is a level of mastery within the
creative realm, this makes him
sexier still
(Social, Creative)

Trez
I have been inspired by men who can be
strong, independent, respected leaders in
their community, work and family while being
tender and passionate with me. l I can respect
and honor him for his strength and feel safe
and cared for when we are together. Having
this man in my life inspires me to really step
into my beauty, grace, power, love and joy.
(Social, Partnership skills) * threshold

Katja
Doing the Work that is "him" and of a high
integrity and impact (there is always impact if
there is purpose) to me is a huge eye catcher.
I simply adore such men as I know they Love
humanity. Obvious Masculinity is a huge one,
I personally Love Masculine Men. And the
way he treats me. If he is present, this means
worlds. If he cares to learn and grow another big turn on.
*Character, Social, Relationship skills,
Intellectual/Emotional growth)

Sarah
I am inspired by A. because he is
HONEST. He is so genuinely kind and
good that it feels innocent. I can and
always could see that in his eyes,
and then in his loving nature. It
inspired my trust which #1. Then, he
is fun

Hes laid back and knows how to enjoy

himself, which helps ground me and give
some variety from my ambition and
intensity. .. He completely turned his life
around, which is what inspired me on our first
date. Hes intelligent in the way I most like:
strategic, relentless, inquisitive, objective as
hell. He inspires me because he is all these
things Ive loved in different men, rolled into
ONE! Amazes me every day.

First Level:

(1) In The World

(2) In Her World
Most Women: Love =
Proud, Admiring +
Safe, Accepted, Valued,
Heard, Cherished

Second Level:
The surge of freedom the ability
and desire to self-express that
women experience when they are
inspired by their man

Why Do I Focus on Inspiration?

2 reasons

Anything less feels like living life

short of possibility

When its over, I want to say: all my life

I was a bride married to amazement.
I was a bridegroom, taking the world
into my arms.
When its over I dont want to wonder
if I have made of my life something
particular, and real

I dont want to find myself sighing

and frightened
or full of argument.
I dont want to end up simply having visited
this world.
- Mary Oliver, When Death
Comes

(2) And because I learned that

the more inspired I was, the
higher quality woman I attracted,
and the more passionately
and with more layers
they loved me

Attract Connect - Inspire

Phase 1: Attract
Physical Realm
The Oxygen of Sex
Egobonking

Trust
Cocky/Funny
Indifference
Status
Electric Contrast
Erotic Forward Pacing

Kindness
Generosity
Purpose
Friendships
Passion
Empathy
Vulnerability

It gets you up to being

1st Oxygen:
Desired, Infatuated/Physical
Face of Love

The Transitional Trigger

From Fucking Everything that
Moves to Being Moved by
Everyone You Fuck

Phase II: Connect

What makes you a unique voice?
With whom & how do you attach,
bond, love?
Your unique awareness
Your stories
Your unique wounds
Your unique rise from struggle and
barriers broken

This gets you to:

The 2nd Oxygen:

Companionate or Connected Love

The Next Trigger?

Force moves the body
Persuasion moves the mind
Inspiration moves the spirit

Inspired and Inspiring Love?

Three Things..
(1) what you do in the World
(2) what you do in her World
(3) what you do for HER World

Lets Now Dive Into

1st:
What Inspiration Is
2nd:
How You Can Turn it On and Up
in the world, in her world,
for her world

What is Inspiration and why

is it inherently

Listen as way of re-imagining

who you are at core

[1] The Inspired Man is Free

Inspiration is the feeling of
freedom and joy from realizing that
who we are is beyond the body, and
beyond all limiting beliefs...
- John Marshall Roberts

[2] The Inspired Man is Expansive

To be inspired is to feel vaster in
engagement with what you value
most beauty, love, your art or skill,
teaching, learning, service,
mastery

more than

[3] The Inspired Man is Enraptured

Inspiration originates from neither
the body nor the rational mind. It
arises from a deeper dimension
something more like wonder

When you are inspired, you are

uniquely alive to the mystery
of Being and Becoming

Connected to grandeur

[4] The Inspired Man is Erotic

Inspiration is inherently
pleasurable connected to
the Eros of both being and
becoming

[4] The Inspired Man is

Evolution
The Evolutionary Life Force (Love
Intelligence) in that you are moving
the species, consciousness,
creativity forward

Sustained inspiration adds constant

creative energy to a persons mental
system, which ultimately produces a
wholesale transformation of their
world-view. This process is the
ongoing basis for mankinds mental
and spiritual evolution on both a
micro (personal) and macro (global)
level - JMR

[5] The Inspired Man is

Founded in Love (of life).
You are openness opening.
Rather than fear-founded, which
constricts

[6] The Inspired Man is Empowered

inspiration puts us back in touch
with our limitless creative potential,
and reminding us that we are each
authors of our own experience.
- JMR

[7] The Inspired Man is Dynamic

He is in action.
Inspiration grows from the soil of
action
-

Business Secrets of the Trappist Monks: One CEOs Quest for Meaning and
Authenticity, August Turak

Inspiration is sustained by action

and must ultimately lead to
measurable real-world results or
it will backfire, over time

[8] The Inspired Man is Unique

Inspiration grows from, marks
and amplifies your Unique Self

[10]: The Inspired Man is

Connected To Infinity
Inspiration Can Map Across Your
Whole Being, Making You
Alive to YOUR unique Being and
Becoming

In short, how you live as an inspired

man makes you exciting to yourself
and to her

How do We Wake Up
Our Most Inspired Selves?

Are you Inspired and Inspiring in

THE World?
Are You Inspired and Inspiring IN
Her World?
Are You Inspired and Inspiring
FOR Her World?

[1]Physical competence or accomplishments

or prowess
[2] Financial acumen, penetration, success
[3] Emotional connectedness, authenticity
character
[4] Intellectual power and reach/ wit
[5] Social leadership, skill, service
[6] Sexual aura manner and skillset
[7] Creative artistry
[8] Play, fun
[9] Spiritual groundedness, practice

#1:
How Can You Be Inspired in
Your Physical Life?

(1) achievement
(2) capability
(3) fitness, flexibility, endurance
(4) performance
(5) healing/recovery
(6) craft, home skills

*
*
*

Inspired Sight
To see the universe in a grain of
sand
Scale of space and time
We are a visual species shortterm thinking long term problems.
Wake up to art, nature, patterns,
beauty

Sense of Smell
Sense of Hearing
Sense of Taste
Sense of Touch
Ever refining subtlety...

Your Body Awareness

* Breath
* Yoga
* Meditation
* Nutrition

* Connected to environment
* How You Move Through Space
* Do you feel the joy of being alive

#2
How Can You Be More Inspired
in Your Financial Life?

The Eros of Abundance

How can you make your will felt in
the world?

How can you create value?

How can you acquire resources?

How can you contribute?

#3:
How Can You Be More Inspired
in Your Intellectual Life?

* How are you deepening

Mastery?
* How are you challenging your
beliefs?
* How are you refining your
distinctions?
* How are you incorporating other
perspectives (cultural, gender
etc)?

#4
How Can You Be More Inspired
in Your Social Life?

* How are you growing, invested in

your social web as human
connection (its own value)?
* How are you growing, invested in
your social web as social
wealth?

* How are you growing, invested in

your social web as inspiration
engine?
* How are you in service
(intertwined with the active
good of others?

#5:
How Can You Be More Inspired
in Your Emotional Life?

*
*
*
*
*

Self examination, awareness,

Honesty
Responsive v Reactive (triggers)
Empathic (equal agents)
Identity
How limited your self-identity
* Multiple perspective/altitude
* Stay in the game

* Are you engaging your shadow?

* Are you engaging your wound?
* Are you engaging/bringing your
greatness?
* Are you opening into
experience or closing?

And by doing so are you

meeting, feeling, seeing, healing
the wounds, shadows, fear,
greatness, opening and
closing of others?

#6:
How Can You Be More Inspired
in Your Sexual Life?

* Prowess
* Presence
* Erotic Connoisseur
* 24 Hour Foreplay
* Expanding your sexuality into
life-eros

#7:
#
How Can You Be More Inspired
in Your Creative Life?

* The arts
* Your living environment
* Your self expression
* What havent you expressed?

#8:
How Can You Be More Inspired
By Your Playful (Fun) Life?

* Non competitive athletics

* Humor, clowning
* Relaxation
* Conversation

#9:
How Can You Be More Inspired
in Your Spiritual Life?

dco

The thing that you wish the

person you lived with was more
of

Release from need for approval from

others

Release from Illusion of

Separate Skin Encapsulated Ego

Release from the Need to

Control Your Environment

If you want to inspire others,

choose to have faith in your
connection to the source of life,
and in the unity behind
appearances.
- JMR

All of these categories not as

expressions of fear ego - I exist and I need validation

But rather as

 an expression of
love-ego your love of being
alive and a part of the ongoing
evolutionary expression of
the Life Force

Are you Inspired and Inspiring in

THE World?
Are You Inspired and Inspiring IN
Her World?
Are You Inspired and Inspiring
FOR Her World?

What Does She Need To Feel In a

Love Relationship?

Safe Special

Sexy Feminine

SAFE

(a) Physically Safe(r)

Voice
Body
Physical World

(b) Emotionally safe

With
(Vow/free attention)
Soothing
Trust
Word

(c) Inspired in Safety

How do you Occur For her?

How to make your unique gifts,

wounds, shadows visible to connect
with and interact with her unique
gifts wounds and shadows so that
both of your gifts emerge and both
of your shadows and wounds come
into light and find healing.

Your Unique:
Shadow
Fears
Voice
Self
Aspirations
Unexpressed Self
Wounds

Sexy

Proust
Inner-Outer Connection
Infinite Praise

Special

[1] G.B. Shaw

[2] I love the way you
[3] Public Brag
[4] Love language - how does
she feel special
[5] Honored

Feminine

Are you Inspired and Inspiring in

THE World?
Are You Inspired and Inspiring IN
Her World?
Are You Inspired and Inspiring
FOR Her World?

Basic Definition of Love:

When you care for someones
well being as much as or more
than your own...

What does it take to be able to be

her riverbanks/trampoline?

Come back to Question of

Identity

Her Unique Contribution

3 Steps

People crave inspiration, but

they usually fight like hell when
we try to inspire them
- JMR

You Dont Find Love:

You Inspire Love by
(1) what you do in the World
(2) what you do in her World
(3) what you do for HER World

Can You teach love?

Can teach the conditions to make it

flourish

How Do You Make it Flourish?

(1) Moment-by-moment Choice

(2) Moment-by-moment practice

Love is not
a slice of the pie.
It IS the pie

Where we had thought to travel

outward, we will come to the center
of our own existence. And where we
had thought to be alone, we will be
with all the world.
- Joseph Campbell

AdamGilad.com/Inspired