Chapter 5

Healthy Relationships and

Sexuality
Making Commitments

Intimate Relationships
Close relationship
you offer and are offered
validation
understanding
sense of being valued
intellectually, emotionally and
physically

Characteristics
Behavioral Interdependence
mutual impact on each other
daily activities intertwined
grow together
missed if gone

Characteristics
Need Fulfillment

approval/sense of purpose.
need for intimacy - share feeling
social integration (worries and
concerns).
being nurturant - someone to take
care of.
need for assistance - help when
needed.
affirmation of worth - we matter.

Characteristics
Emotional attachment

feelings of love and attachment

impossible to judge from outside
can be sexual or non-sexual
intimate relationships go beyond
sexual contact
can be an important part but not
a requirement

Emotional Availability
to give and receive
emotionally
without the fear of
being hurt or
rejected
times to be less
emotionally available
- recovery from loss

Types of Intimate Relationships

Balanced Intimacyseveral dimensions

Sexual - expression of closeness

Intellectual - sharing of ideas
Emotional - significant feeling
Aesthetic - sharing experiences
Recreational - having fun
Work - house, family, employment and
community
Crisis - successful coping with internal
and external threats
Spiritual - sharing the meaning of life

Forming Intimate Relationships

Changes throughout life
family, friends, co-workers and
acquaintances
Families - changed over the
years both parents working, lifes
demands and society
Is todays Family..
different???

Friendships: finding the Right

Ingredients

Enjoyment
Acceptance
Trust
Respect
Mutual Assistance
Confiding
Understanding
Spontaneity

Significant Others, Partners,

Couples
Sexual Relationships
Four Categories:
married heterosexual couples
cohabiting heterosexual
couples
lesbian couples
gay male couples

Friendship with Passion

Fascination - spend as much time as
possible with the other person
Exclusiveness - love relationship takes
priority/only person
Sexual Desire - physical intimacy may not
be acted upon b/c of religious, moral, or
practical reasons
Giving the Utmost - others need/sacrifice
Being a champion/advocate - unselfish
acts to help other succeed

LOVE
Companionate:
family/close friends
relationship - common
interests/attached/wellbeing/express
reciprocal liking & respect

Passionate:
state of high
arousal/ecstasy of love - agony
of rejection

Passionate Love..
concept of Falling in Love excepted
by culture
suitable love Objectmust
be presented
Object
taught attributes to seek out - parents,
peers, pop culture..
physiological arousal in presence of
person!

Attraction and Love!

Imprinting evolutionary patterns,
genetic predisposition, past
experiences.. trigger romantic
response
Attractionneurochemicals
- feelings
Attraction
of euphoria and elation
Attachmentendorphins,
natural
Attachment
opiates - peaceful, secure and calm
Production of a cuddle chemical..
oxytocin - satisfaction and attachment
during love making...

Fourth Year Divorce Rate Present in 60 cultures

Tolerance to PEA
levels drop and the
feeling of love
reduces
Past four years endorphins - soothing
substances that give
lovers the feeling of
peace, security and
calm

Gender Issues: Men, Women, and

Relationships
Understanding and
communication very
important
styles of men and
women differ
can create problems /
seems like different
cultures
Differences Why?

Barriers to Intimacy - lack of personal

identity, emotional immaturity, not responsible, fear
of being hurt, low self-esteem.
Other reasons
Dysfunctional Family interactions inhibit
instead of enhancing
psychological growth
Jealousy - adverse
reaction to from actual or
perceived relationships
with a third party

Committed Relationships
Feeling of love or sexual
attraction
and a committed
relationship.?
Love without
Sex without
Committed - intention to
perpetuate wellbeing of the
other person, yourself and the
relationship

Marriage - traditional committed

relationship in many societies
Monogamy - exclusive sexual
involvement / one partner
Serial monogamy- series of
monogamous relationships
Open Relationship - agreed sexual
involvement outside the relationship
Cohabitation - Living together / not
married
Common-law marriage - cohabitation
3 years / similar to marriage but not all
legal aspects

Success in Committed
Relationships
Marriage - success
based on how long the
couple stays together
Cohabitation - meets
others situations and
needs
Both can be healthy
and successful

Success in Committed
Relationships
Partnering Scripts - what is expected
from society / passed along from
parents - marry and have children
Accountability - responsibility for
personal decisions, choices and
actions
Self-nurturance - developing
individual potential / realistic
/appreciation for self-worth and
ability

Elements of a Good Relationship

Predictability - knowing
your partner
Dependability - reliable /
supportive
Faith - certain about
partners intentions &
behaviours
Trust

Ending a Relationship
The Warning Signs!

Communication breakdown
lack of interest
emotional confrontations
feelings of being unappreciated
/ unwanted / unloved
Autonomy -self-care /
emotionally, socially, and
physically

Seeking Help: Where to Look - trusted

friends / trained professional counsellors
Seeking Help: Where to Look trusted friend / trained
professional counsellors
Trial Separations - time out to
heal and to reflect on the
relationship / professional help
Why Relationships End
Unmet needs, differences, loss
of a child .. Many . many
reasons

Deciding to Break Up
Troubled couples decide
relationship not worth
saving
Difficult - strong
emotions, pain, guilt,
revenge, hurt, confusion,
worthlessness
Seek support and help to
cope

Defining Your Sexual Identity

We are born sexual beings
Taboos, mores. Laws and
sexual myths abound!
Must be comfortable with
personal sexual identity
Sexual Identity recognition of ourselves as
sexual creatures
Genetic / environmental /
physiological factors

XX a Female / XY a Male
Gonads - reproductive
organs / male (testes) or
female (ovaries)
Puberty - sexual maturation
Pituitary Gland - controls
release of hormones from
gonads
Secondary sex characteristics
- associated with gender but
not reproduction

Gender Identity and Roles

Gender - sense of Masculinity
or Femininity / your society &
culture
Gender Roles / stereotypes generalization to how males
and females should express
their gender
Androgyny - male and female
traits in same person

Gender Identity and Roles

Socialization - society
identifies behaviours
for its members
information from
parents, schools,
friends, popular
culture, tradition...

Reproductive Anatomy and

Physiology
External Female Genitals
Vulva - external genitalia
Labia Minora - Inner lipsor
folds of tissues
Labia Majora - Outer Lipsor
folds of tissues covering sexual
organs
Clitoris - pea-sized nodule on top
of the LM
Urethral opening - urination

External Female Genitals

Vagina - passage
leading from vulva to
uterus
Hymen - thin tissue
covering the vaginal
opening
Perineum - tissue
extending from vulva
to anus

Internal Female Genitals

Uterus (womb) - hollow
area to contain foetus
Endometrium - uterine
lining
Cervix - lower end of uterus
Ovaries - houses developing
eggs and produces
hormones
Fallopian Tubes - tubes
extending from ovaries to
uterus

Onset of Puberty and the Menstrual Cycle

Puberty - maturation of
female and male
reproduction systems
Pituitary Gland (in brain) controls reproduction system
Hypothalamus - work with
pituitary gland
Gonadotropin-releasing
hormone (GnRH) - PG to
release Gonadotropins

Onset of Puberty and the Menstrual

Cycle
Follicle - stimulating hormone (FSH) signals ovaries to release egg /
produces estrogen
Luteinizing hormone (LH) - signals the
release of egg + produce progesterone
Estrogens - hormones that control
menstrual cycle
Progesterone - helps develop the
endometrium

Onset of Puberty and the Menstrual

Cycle
Menarche - first menstrual period
Ovarian Follicles (egg sacs) where
individual eggs develop
Ovulation - egg passes through
ovarian wall
Human Chorionic Gonadotropin
(HCG) - if egg is fertilized
increases levels of estrogen and
progesterone
Menopause - permanent cessation
of menstruation

Male Reproductive Anatomy and

Physiology
External Male Genitals - penis
and scrotum
Penis - male sexual organ to
release sperm into vagina
Scrotum - sac of tissues that
encloses the testes

Male Reproductive Anatomy and

Physiology
Internal Male genitals testes, epididymides, vasa
deferentia, ejaculatory ducts,
urethra and accessory glands
Accessory glands - seminal
vesicles, prostrate gland and
Cowpers gland
Ejaculation - propulsion of
semen from the penis

Male Reproductive Anatomy and

Physiology
Testes - Two Organs,
located in the scrotum,
manufacture sperm and
produce hormones
Testosterone - male sex
hormone
Spermatogenesis development of sperm
Epididymis - place for
sperm maturation

Male Reproductive Anatomy

and Physiology
Vas deferens - tube transports
sperm to penis
Seminal vesicles storage for
sperm and nutrient fluids added
Semen - fluid comprised of
sperm + nutrients
Prostrate gland - secretes
nutrients and neutralizing fluids
Foreskin - flap covering penis /
remove during circumcision

Expressing Your Sexuality

Human Sexual Response - male
and female common stages
excitement/arousal
plateau
orgasm
resolution
refractory period (some males)
Vasoconstriction - engorgement of
sexual organs with blood

Sexual Orientation - attraction and

interest in members of the opposite sex, same sex,
both sexes in emotional, social and sexual situations
Heterosexual - attraction and
sexual preference for the
opposite sex
Homosexual - same sex
preferences and attraction
Bisexual - both sexes
Homophobia - irrational hatred
and fear of homosexuality and
homosexuals

Sexual Expression
What are your Options?
Celibacy - a person not involved in
sexual relationships
Autoerotic behaviours - sexual selfstimulation
Sexual Fantasies - sexually arousing
thoughts and dreams
Masturbation - self-stimulation of
genitals
Erogenous zones - areas of the body
both male and female that when
touched create sexual stimulation

Sexual Expression
Cunnilingus - oral
stimulation of the
female genitals
Fellatio - oral
stimulation of males
genitals
Anal Intercourse
insertion of the penis
into the anus

Sexual Expression
Vaginal Intercourse insertion of penis
into the vagina
Variant Sexual
Behaviour - sexual
behaviours not
commonly practiced

Difficulties that Can Hinder

Sexual Functioning
Sexual Dysfunction problems preventing sexual
satisfaction
Inhibited Sexual Desire - lack
of interest in sexual
behaviour
Sexual Aversion Disorders sexual phobias/ anxieties
about sexual contact

Difficulties that Can Hinder

Sexual Functioning
Erectile Dysfunction - AKA
impotence: a difficulty achieving
and maintaining an erection
during intercourse
Premature Ejaculation ejaculation occurs just prior to or
immediately following penetration
of the vagina
Retarded Ejaculation -inability to
ejaculate once penis is erect

Difficulties that Can Hinder

Sexual Functioning
Preorgasmic - state of never
achieving an orgasm
Dyspareunia - pain
experiences by women
during intercourse
Vaginismus - vaginal
muscles contract so
forcefully that penetration
cannot be accomplished