Questioning and

Listening Skills
Shared by Le Duy Quang
Email: duyquang.le@gmail.com
Phone: 0913 165 665

Stephen Covey - Seven habits of highly effective people

Seek first to understand,

then to be understood
Copyright ISC 2013

4 possible communication
styles
Attack,
Dominate,
Threaten

Inform,
Persuade,
Direct

Aggressive

Assertive

Passive

Responsive
Question,
Listen,
Summaris
e

Withdraw,
Silent,
Apologise

Copyright ISC 2013

Characteristics
Assertive

Responsive

Inform
In Control
Convince
Persuade
Influence

Question
Explore
Summarise
Listen
Empathise

Aggressive

Passive

Dominate
Sarcastic
Patronise
Attack
Put down others
Dismissive

Apologise (for everything)

Withdraw
Sit on the fence
Keep the peace
Put down self

Copyright ISC 2013

Assertive - Responsive
WIN / WIN

Relaxed

In balance with others

Eye contact

Non-threatening

Chooses influential position

Paced
Open posture

WIN / LOSE

Closed posture

Avoids eye contact

Out of balance with others - stand vs. sit

Erratic

Tense

Aggressive - Passive
Copyright ISC 2013

Most people listen in order to respond; good listeners listen in order

to understand.

Listening skills

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Listening vs. Hearing

Animals and machines can hear; i.e. respond

to sensory inputs

Sheepdog following commands from shepherd

Voice recognition software on a PC

Only people can listen; i.e. interpret the

meaning behind words and react accordingly

Can you pass me some water please?

Copyright ISC 2013

Listen and remember

%
Remembered

Start-up Effect
(Strong Introduction)

Recency Effect
(Strong Summary/
Ending)

Impact
Repetition

Time
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Keys to effective listening

Find areas of interest

Judge content, not
delivery
Hold your fire
Listen for ideas
Be flexible in note-taking

Work at listening
Resist distractions
Exercise your mind
Keep your mind open
Capitalise on the fact that
thought is faster than
speech

Copyright ISC 2013

Active listening

Behaviours which demonstrate active listening

include...

An attentive posture, leaning forward, with uncrossed arms

(open body language)
Nodding your head
Smiling (genuinely)
Verbal cues (Uh huh, I see, Yes, Go on)
Making eye contact (but not staring)
Asking Reflective Questions
Taking notes
Summarising
Copyright ISC 2013

Active listening

Confirmation and acknowledgement

Showing empathy

Yes, I agree
Uh huh, I see

What you seem to be saying is

So, you feel
If I were in your position
I understand your points

Appropriate Body Language

Open and positive

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We pay 5 times more attention to the body language than we do to

the words.

How you are, is as

important as what you say!
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Do you want to come to

Fantastic
my party?
I like you very
decision!
much

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2013

I think
youre great
Ref!

Questioning techniques

Open Questions
What, Where, When, Who,
Why, How
To get the candidate talking
and open up discussion
Closed Questions
Did, Can, Was, Were, Is
To confirm facts and close
down discussion
Probe Questions
Why did that happen?
How did that affect you?
To get behind the first answer

Reflective Questions

You mentioned training, in what

way was...

Challenging, how was that...?

Reflects back the candidates

answer and leads to a further
question

Demonstrates active listening

Leading Questions

Do you prefer X or Y?

You agree, dont you?

Should not be used

Multiple Questions

What... & was...?

Should not be used

Copyright ISC 2013

Remember...
Prejudice is a great time
saver.
It enables you to form
opinions without having to
gather the facts.
(Anon.)