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Chapter 6

Dating, Single Life, and Mate


Selection

Chapter Outline

Premarital American Dating

Dating and Extended Singleness

Changing Sexual Mores

Date Rape and Courtship Violence

Chapter Outline

Cohabitation: Unmarried-Couple
Households

Finding the One and Only: Mate


Selection

Engagement

Why Do We Date?
1.

2.
3.

Dating fills time between puberty and


marriage. It is often simple recreation, an
end in itself.
Dating is a way to gain social status
based on whom and how often one dates.
Dating is an opportunity for the sexes to
interact and learn about each other.
Dating is also an avenue to selfknowledge.

Why Do We Date?
4.

Dating meets ego needs. A person


needs to be understood and considered
important.

5.

Dating leads to mate selection for most


individuals.

Modern Dating Characteristics


1.

There is greater opportunity for informal,


opposite-sex interaction.

2.

Subsequent dating is less formal.

3.

There no longer seems to be a set


progression of stages from first meeting
to marriage.

College Dating

Hooking up is defined as a sex-withoutcommitment interaction.


The term joined at the hip refers to couples
who spend much of their time together but
rarely go out on formal dates.
Because of the close proximity of living
conditions in college, there is a great deal of
hanging out, where time is loosely spent
together without explicit interest in one another.

Timing of First Sexual Intercourse


Characteristic

% Distribution

% Who Have
Had Sex

Median Age at
First Sex

Total

100.0

26.6

16.9

Male

53.4

29.7

16.6

Female

46.6

23.3

17.2

Factors Influencing the Decision to


Have Sex
1.

Personal principles

2.

Psychological principles

3.

Social principles

4.

Religious principles

Problems Associated with


Premarital Sexual Relations

Sexually transmitted diseases (STDs)

Unwanted pregnancies

Early commitment and isolation

Quality of sex

Date Rape and Courtship


Violence
The term date rape has suddenly
become popular in the mass media. A
better term that encompasses rape but
also speaks to broader problems is
acquaintance violence.

Miscommunication About Sex


1.

Many men and women do not discuss their


sexual intentions openly and frankly.

2.

Differences exist in perceptions of sexual


intent.

3.

The use of token resistance by some women


may create a belief in some men that protest
encountered is not really meant by the woman.

Miscommunication About Sex


4.

There are differing expectations


concerning the stage of the relationship
when sexual intercourse is appropriate.

5.

Miscommunication is more common


when alcohol or drugs are being used.

Statutory Rape
Statutory rape is the case in which
an adult has consensual sex with a
minor.

Cohabitation
A couples desire to spend more
time together may lead them to
cohabit, that is, live together without
marriage.

Cohabitation & Common Law


Marriage

An unmarried partner is now defined by


the Census Bureau as a person unrelated
to the householder, but who shares living
quarters and has a close personal
relationship with the householder.
In some states,a couple living together for
more than a certain number of years can
be treated as legally married, which is
called a common law marriage.

Factors Influencing Cohabitation

Societys increased tolerance toward


nonmarital sexual relations makes
intimate cohabitation more acceptable.
Higher education, especially for women,
and the increasing entry of women into
the workforce have lessened womens
dependence on marriage as a way of
economic survival.

Factors Influencing Cohabitation

Increasing urbanization leads to


increased anonymity and fewer
restrictions on individuals.

The high rate of divorce may make young


people more wary of rushing into a
marital relationship.

Cohabiting Relationships

Many couples consider these experiences to be


no more than short-lived sexual flings.
Other couples consider cohabitation a practical
arrangement.
Some see cohabitation as a trial marriage, while
others see it as a permanent alternative to
marriage.
For some who have been divorced, the fear of
making the same mistake again leads them to
cohabitation.

Mate Selection

Propinquity refers to dating and marrying


someone living quite close geographically.

Homogamy is the tendency of people to marry


persons similar to themselves.

Endogamy is the tendency of people to marry


within their own group.

Mate Selection

Exogamy is a requirement that people


marry outside their group.
In our culture, requirements to marry
outside your group are limited to incest
and same-sex prohibitions.
Miscegenation laws prohibiting interracial
marriages are no longer legal in the U.S.

First Impressions

The halo effect is the tendency for first


impressions to influence succeeding
evaluations.

Cognitive compatibility (how the other


thinks, what his/ her interests are, and so
on) are also important first impressions.

Quick Quiz

1. The term joined at the hip refers to


a)
b)

c)
d)

a sex-without-commitment interaction.
couples who spend much of their time
together but rarely go out on formal
dates.
where time is loosely spent together
without explicit interest in one another.
None of these.

Answer: b

The term joined at the hip refers to


couples who spend much of their time
together but rarely go out on formal
dates.

2. The requirement that people marry


outside their group is
a)

Propinquity

b)

Homogamy

c)

Endogamy
Exogamy

d)

Answer: d

Exogamy is the requirement that people


marry outside their group.

3. Which of the following is listed in the


text as a common reason for
cohabitation?
a)
b)
c)
d)

Practical Purposes
Sex
Trial Marriage
All of the above

Answer: d

Couples studied listed practical purposes,


sex and a chance to have a trial marriage
all as reasons to cohabitate.

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