Chapter 6

Writing Process
Phase 3:

Revise,
Proofread,
Evaluate
 The Business Writing
Process: Phase 3
Revising Tips Proofreading

Proofreading
Evaluating Marks

Ch. 6, Slide
2
Revise for Clarity,
Conciseness,
Keep it simple. and
Readability
Keep it conversational.
Remove opening fillers.
Eliminate redundancies.
Reduce compound
prepositions.
Purge empty words.

Ch. 6, Slide
3
Revise for Clarity,
Conciseness, and
Kick the noun habit.
Readability
Dump trite business
phrases.
Develop parallelism
(balanced construction).
Apply graphic
highlighting.
Measure readability.

Ch. 6, Slide
4
 Keep it Simple
Avoid indirect, pompous
Foggy: language.
It would not be Employees have not
inadvisable for been made sufficiently
you to affix youraware of the
signature at thispotentially adverse
point in time. consequences
involved regarding
these chemicals.
Clear: You may sign Warn your employees
now. about these
chemicals.
Ch. 6, Slide
5
 As per your verbal
Keep it Conversational
instruction, steps will
be undertaken
immediately to
Use natural, familiar language.
investigate
our billing problem
Formal: Our accounting
department takes pleasure
in informing you that we
have credited your
account for the
Conversational: Were happy
aforementioned sum ofto
$100.credit your account
for $100.Im
At your suggestion
investigating
your billing immediately Ch. 6, Slide
6
Remove Opening Fillers
Avoid wordiness.
Wordy: 1- There are four menu
items we must promote.
2- It is the client who
should
make application for a
Concise: license.
1- We must promote four new menu
items.

2 - The client should apply for a license

Ch. 6, Slide
7
 Eliminate
Redundancies
Say it only once!

collect together personal opinion

contributing perfectly clear
factor unexpected
past history surprise
basic few in number
fundamentals
To say unexpected surprise is like saying surprise surprise because
unexpected carries the same meaning as surprise.
Redundancies do not add emphasis, as some people think. Instead,
Ch. 6, Slide
they identify a writer as inexperienced.
 Reduce Compound
Prepositions
Say it more concisely.
at such time, at which time Reduce to when.
at this point in time Reduce to now.
due to the fact that, Reduce to
at a later date because.
despite the fact that Reduce to later.
Reduce to
Although

Ch. 6, Slide
9
Purge (remove) Empty Words
Unclutter your sentences.
As for the field of athletic shoes,
the degree of profits sagged. (for
class)
This is to inform you that we have
a toll- free service line.
Not all members who are
registered will attend the
conference.
Ch. 6, Slide
10
Purge Empty Words
Unclutter your sentences.
As for the field of athletic shoes,
the degree of profits sagged.
This is to inform you that we have
a toll- free service line.
Not all members who are
registered will attend the
conference.
Ch. 6, Slide
11
Purge Empty Words
Unclutter your sentences.
As for athletic shoes, profits
sagged.
This is to inform you that we have
a toll- free service line.
Not all members who are
registered will attend the
conference.
Ch. 6, Slide
12
Purge Empty Words
Unclutter your sentences.
As for athletic shoes, profits
sagged.
This is to inform you that we have
a toll- free service line.
Not all members who are
registered will attend the
conference.
Ch. 6, Slide
13
Purge Empty Words
Unclutter your sentences.
As for athletic shoes, profits
sagged.
We have a toll-free service line.

Not all members who are

registered will attend the
conference.
Ch. 6, Slide
14
Purge Empty Words
Unclutter your sentences.
As for athletic shoes, profits
sagged.
We have a toll-free service line.

Not all members who are

registered will attend the
conference.
Ch. 6, Slide
15
Purge Empty Words
Unclutter your sentences.
As for athletic shoes, profits
sagged.
We have a toll-free service line.

Not all registered members will

attend the conference.

Ch. 6, Slide
16
 Kick the Noun Habit
Use simple, dynamic verbs.
conduct an investigation investiga
of te
give consideration to consider
make a decision about decide
perform an analysis of analyze
take action act
Some writers become addicted to nouns, needlessly
transforming verbs into nouns (we make a
recommendation of instead of we recommend) Ch. 6, Slide
 Dump Trite(ordinary, dull)
Business
Eliminate Phrases
stale (old, dry), puffed-up
expressions.
as per your as you
suggestion suggested
pursuant to your as you
request requested
enclosed please find enclosed is
please feel free to please call
call thank you
thank you in Ch. 6, Slide
18
 Dump Trite Business
Phrases
Eliminate stale, puffed-up
expressions.
Trite: Pursuant to your request,
enclosed please find a job
application.
Improved: As
requested,
I have
enclosed
a job
Ch. 6, Slide application.
 Develop Parallel
Expression
Express similar ideas in balanced, matching
constructions.
Not Parallel Improved
The policy affected all The policy affected all
vendors, vendors, suppliers, and
suppliers, and those consultants.
involved (Series matches nouns.)
with consulting.
Good managers analyze
a problem, collect data,
Good managers analyze and evaluate
a problem, collect data, alternatives.
and alternatives are (Series matches verb
Be evaluated.
certain that you express similar ideas in balanced or parallel construction.
forms.)
To achieve parallelism, match nouns with nouns, verbs with verbs, phrases with phrases,
and clauses with clauses. Avoid mixing active-voice verbs with passive-voice verbs.

Ch. 6, Slide
Develop Parallel
Expression
Express similar ideas in
balanced, matching
constructions.
Not parallel: We can collect
information, store it, and it
can also be updated.
Parallel: Fill the blanks

Ch. 6, Slide
21
Develop Parallel
Expression
Express similar ideas in
balanced, matching
constructions.
Not parallel: We can collect
information, store it, and it
can also be updated.
Parallel: We can collect, store, and
update information.

Ch. 6, Slide
22
Apply Graphic Highlighting
Letters, such as (a) and (b) within the
text.
Numerals, such as 1, 2, and 3, listed
vertically.
Headings and bullets.
Font type and size
CAPITAL LETTERS
Underscores
Boldface
Ch. 6, Slide
23
Use Numbered Lists for
High Skim Value
(Using Numbered and Bulleted Lists for Quick
Comprehension)
Lists provide high skim value. This means that
readers use lists to read quickly and grasp main ideas.
By breaking up complex information into smaller
chunks, lists improve readability, comprehension, and
retention
Follow these steps to archive a
document:
1. Select the document.
1.

2. Select a folder.
2.

3. Provide a file name.

3.

4. Click Save.
4. Ch. 6, Slide
24
Use Bulleted Lists for High
Skim Value
Consumers expect the following
information at product Web sites:
Price
Quality
Performance
Availability

Ch. 6, Slide
25
Add Headings for Visual
Impact and Readability
Headings help the reader separate major ideas from
details. Moreover, they enable a busy reader to skim
familiar or less important information.

We need to discuss aa number of topics

at our
our next meeting:
meeting:
Budget. Come prepared to discuss ourour
expense requests.
Schedule. Who will be taking vacations
or leaves?
Hiring. Soon we must begin the hiring
Ch. 6, Slide
process to replace Matt. 26
A Word of Caution
Dont overdo graphic highlighting!
Too much emphasis leads to busy-
looking documents, clutter, and
confusion.

To be safe, use no more

than three highlighting
elements on a single
page.
Ch. 6, Slide
27
Proofreading: What to
Watch for Spelling

Grammar
Format

Proofreading

Names and Punctuation

Numbers

Ch. 6, Slide
28
How to Proofread Routine
Documents
For computer messages, print a
rough copy to read.
Look for typos, misspellings, and
easily confused words.
Watch for
inconsistencies and
ambiguous
expressions.
Check for factual
errors.
Ch. 6, Slide
29
 How to Proofread
Complex Documents
Print a copy, preferably double-spaced.
Set it aside and take a breather.
Allow adequate time for careful
proofing.
Expect errors. Congratulate, not
criticize, yourself each time you find a
mistake!
Read the message at least twicefor
meaning and for grammar/mechanics.
Reduce your reading speed. Focus on
individual words. Ch. 6, Slide
30
Evaluating
Did you encourage How successful
feedback so that will this
you will know communication
it is a success? be?

Does the message

say what you
want it to say?
Ch. 6, Slide
31
Basic Proofreading Marks
Delete

Capitalize

Lowercase (dont
capitalize)

Transpose (switch,
swap)
Ch. 6, Slide
32
Basic Proofreading Marks
Insert

Insert space

Insert punctuation

Insert period

Start paragraph
Ch. 6, Slide
33
Marked Copy
This
This isis to
to inform
inform youyou that
that beginning
beginning
september
september 11 the the doors
doors leading
leading toto the
the
Westside
Westside of of the
the building
building will
will have
have alarms.
alarms.
Because doors
Because of of the
the fact
fact that
that these
these exits
exits also
also
function
function as as fire
fire exits
exits they
they can
can not
not actually
actually
l
be
be locked
locked consequently
consequently we we are
are instaling
instaling
alrams. use
alrams. Please utilize
Please utilize the
the east
east side
side exists
exists
to
to avoid
avoid setting
setting off
off the
the ear
ear piercing
piercing
alarms.
alarms.
Ch. 6, Slide
34
Class Exercise on Proof
reading
Editing: How many mistakes can you find?
Anthony Visits Nick

On sunday, Anthony went over to Nicks

house to play basketball. They played a
gam of one-on-one. Anthony made six
baskets, bute nick made eight Nick was
the winner.

After the game, both boys whent in side to

Ch. 6, Slide
35
Class Exercise on Proof
reading
Editing: How many mistakes can you find?
Anthony Visits Nick

Ch. 6, Slide
36
Ch. 1, Slide
37
End

Ch. 6, Slide
38