The Internet Pornography Plague

Protecting Our Youth,

Our Friends, Ourselves
John R. Williams
Purity Is Power

When you enter your married life

after keeping your purity, you will
be able to love wholeheartedly.
Father Moon

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The Pornography Problem

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What Would Be the Most Perfect
Kind of Recreational Drug to Sell?

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 Internet Pornography
Perfect Drug

1. Accessible 6. Appears harmless

2. Affordable 7. Adult-looking
3. Approved 8. All-new
4. Anonymous 9. Anything-goes
5. Abstinent-looking 10. Addictive

Almost half of all internet users look at porn

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 What Is Internet Pornography?

Photos, videos, and online interactive media

designed to get people sexually aroused
Includes cybersex

Simulated encounters through chatrooms,

webcam, avatars and other means

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Internet Pornography
Destroying Innocence

7 years old: Age of Half of male and 1 in 6

first exposure female college students
Children 12-17 spend up to 5 hours
years: Largest group online weekly for sex
of users 21% of males do daily

Ads and searches I dont know any BC

lead to porn sites boy who doesnt struggle
Pop-ups cannot be with porn use
clicked off
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Porn, Girls & Women

28% of all 1. Often start by wanting to

porn users please men
are female 2. Drawn to chatrooms
40% of Intimate talk leads to
admitted sex talk and porn
addicts 3. Women are more likely to
under age act out their fantasies
35
See in person those met online

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Why Is Internet Porn Enticing?

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Appeal of Internet Porn to Youth

1. Curiosity and wanting to understand about

sex, the opposite sex, and the adult world
2. Pleasure and excitement of sex
3. Sexy bodies, fantasy encounters
4. Variety and quick gratification
5. Escape from unwanted feelings, especially
loneliness
6. Feel wanted and powerful
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Anatomy of the Sex Impulse

Heart
Seeks love and
oneness of heart with
Heart another
Physical Physical instinct
Seeks to substantiate
instinct
love in bodily oneness
Two aspects may get and lineage
confused
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Internet Porn Exploits
Male & Female Fantasies

The brain is the most important sexual organ

Men Women
Arousal by sight of beauty Aroused by
and body parts romantic
Sex-focused partners, interaction
no affection or foreplay Caring,
Performance oriented cooperative
Man in control partners

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 Risks of Porn Use

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Damages Ourselves

Corrupts the heart Erodes self-

and mind with respect and
crude, unforgettable spiritual
images connections
Teaches degrading Blocks emotional
standards of man- growth and
and womanhood maturity
Promotes insecurities Desensitizes
Enslaves
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 Internet Porn Combines Power
of Video Gaming & Junk Food

Porn is even stronger than both because it

involves the deep need for love and sex
Videogaming Junk Food
High speed and Intensified version of
exciting a pleasurable need
Interactive control Always interesting

Entrancing Overrides natural

Always new and appetite

improved
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 Internet Porn Has All Factors that
Make Activities Hard to Stop

These cause the brain to highly value something

1. Strong emotions 3. Thrill of the hunt
Surprise, excitement, Searching and
anxiety, disgust finding what we want
2. Novelty 4. Exceeding
Newness, variety, expectations
promise of more Unexpected bonuses
or dangers
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 Compulsive Porn Use
Changes the Brain

Porn can reprogram the brain like too much

eating, gambling and video gaming
Numbed response to normal pleasures

Heightened response to things related to the

habit
Shutdown of normal signals when enough

Shrunken brain matter controlling reason and

self control
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 Signs of a Serious Porn Habit

Emotional numbness For males,

Depression, irritability or depleted
sadness testosterone
accounts for
Difficulty concentrating
many
Social discomfort, isolation symptoms
Chronic fatigue, little motivation
Inability to cope without it
Male failure to be aroused by a
real woman
 Stages of Porn Compulsion I

1. Fascination, disgust
Mixture of guilt, fear,
aggression and
pleasurable arousal
2. Desire for more
daring and exotic
images
Former thrill wears
off; desensitized
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 Stages of Porn Compulsion II

1. Fascination, disgust 3. Habitual use

Mixture of guilt, fear,
aggression and
pleasurable arousal
2. Desire for more
daring and exotic
images
Former thrill wears
off; desensitized
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Endless new images
Hard to stop
Dependent on mood-
altering effects
(4. Acting out)
5. Despair
Use more porn to
escape
Damages Our Relationship with the
Opposite Sex

Harder to connect as siblings and friends

1. Reduces spiritual beings to being accessories
for our needs and fantasies
2. Promotes shopping mentality, based on looks
3. Creates impossible expectations
Physical attractiveness

Sexual and romantic behavior

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Damages Our Marriage

Habit is likely to Dissatisfaction from

persist comparing spouse to
Teaches warped fantasy partners
ideas about sex, Weakens desire for
desire and our spouse over time
performance May create
No sense of the dysfunction
unselfish effort Deeply offends our
needed for satisfying spouse, like an affair
marriage John R. Williams
Effects of Masturbation

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Masturbation Multiplies the
Harm of Pornography

Masturbation amplifies Two Types of

its addictive power Masturbation
The brain bonds with 1. No sexual
what is related to fantasies
sexual release Less harmful
Connects porn to the 2. With images
highest pleasure, and fantasies
pain relief and comfort More harmful

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 Masturbation without
Images or Fantasies

Self-soothing Self-centered use

physical release of holy organs
Grounded in body, Compromise sense
no disconnection of proper position
No misuse of and self-respect
imagination

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 Masturbation with
Images and Fantasies

Burns images into Trains a multi-

brain and links them focused sexual
to highest pleasure arousal
Mental adultery Trains in sex
connects sex with ungrounded in
multiple partners our body and
Invites compulsive relationship
porn use

John R. Williams
The Goal Is to Teach Our Brain to
Desire Only Our Spouse

Purity sets up
one arousal
Spouse pathway in the
brain for maximum
fulfilment
Porn Porn and
masturbation
(Partners)
divide pathway
Spouse and weaken bond
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with spouse
Masturbation Damages Lovemaking
in Marriage

Builds habit of quick, reliable climax

without accommodating our spouse
Trains in unnaturally strong and perfect
stimulation and frequent sexual release so
that married life may not satisfy
With fantasies, the habit of sex mentally
disconnected from body and partner is likely
to leave our spouse feeling lonely and hurt

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Overcoming the Porn Habit

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 Helpful Spiritual Efforts

1. Pray for help 3. Discipline the body

Pray for other 4. Seek Gods heart
strugglers Towards yourself
2. Read Gods words and opposite sex
Learn Gods view of Use affirmations
love, sex and marriage 5. Serve God
Recognize the evil Help others
behind pornography
John R. Williams
Kinds of Challenges of Overcoming
Any Bad Habit
1. Gain and maintain 5. Cope with the
motivation to problems caused
change by the habit
2. Stop the habit 6. Replace pleasures
of the habit with
3. Cope with urges positive addictions
4. Resolve the
underlying
problems behind
the habit
 Overview of Basic Strategies
to Reduce Negatives

1. Get informed 7. Prepare for

2. Study your habit temptation
3. Aim to stop for a 8. Resist urges
certain period 9. Celebrate daily
4. Make clear successes
boundaries 10. Keep motivated
5. Get control 11. Expect relapses
6. Find accountability
allies
John R. Williams
 Overview of Basic Strategies to
Build Up Positives & Grow

12. Meet the 15. Expand and

underlying fortify love
needs relationships
13. Exchange 16. Make healthy
support with new habits
others 17. Keep higher
14. Learn new happiness in
skills mind

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Reducing Negatives

John R. Williams
 Overview of Basic Strategies to
Reduce Negatives

1. Get informed 7. Prepare for

2. Study your habit temptation
3. Aim to stop for a 8. Resist urges
certain period 9. Celebrate daily
4. Make clear successes
boundaries 10. Keep motivated
5. Get control 11. Expect relapses
6. Find accountability
allies
John R. Williams
Basic Strategies to
Reduce Negatives I

1. Get informed
Understand the effect of the habit on your
brain, heart, thinking, and your marriage
and other relationships
Learn about the porn business and how
porn is made
Recognize how fake and distorted it is

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 Basic Strategies to
Reduce Negatives II
2. Study your habit
Triggers of porn Examine why you like it
use What does it help you
How the urges cope with?
come What would you miss if
Rationalizations you stopped?
Cycles of use Need to find a better

Periods of no use way to satisfy those

desires
 Basic Strategies to
Reduce Negatives III

3. Aim to stop for a certain period

Stopping the habit allows your Expect
system to rest and recover to feel
The brain and spirit can begin depressed
to repair the damage and try at first,
to return to normal like losing
The habit gets much weaker
a great love
Good feelings will outweigh the bad

Between 30 and 45 days is effective

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Basic Strategies to
Reduce Negatives IV

4. Get control
If you cant quit outright, Separate porn from
gradually taper off masturbation
Do the habit on a Learn to
schedule masturbate
Reduce frequency without images
Break up the ritual Giving up porn is
before, during and after harder

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Basic Strategies to
Reduce Negatives V

5. Make clear boundaries

No more playthings, playmates or
playground
Put computer in public area

Use software monitoring

Tell others your standards

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Basic Strategies to
Reduce Negatives VI

6. Find accountability 7. Prepare for

allies temptation
No secrets Anticipate and avoid

Find special high risk situations

helpers to report to Have 5 people to call

Ask friends to Have something to

monitor you distract yourself

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Basic Strategies to
Reduce Negatives VII
8. Resist urges as long as possible
Addictions are the habit of satisfying an
urge to make it go away
Urges come on strong, but they will end

As you resist, they naturally fade in

intensity, frequency and duration
 Dealing with Urges: Argue with
Overly Positive Expectations
Recalling only the upside of the habit feeds urges
1. Remember the downside 3. Imagine the worst
Do you feel bad after possibilities
giving in? Being discovered

What other unpleasant by your wife

things result? Being exposed in

2. Imagine talking a loved public

one out of viewing porn Being unable to
perform in bed
Basic Strategies to
Reduce Negatives VIII

9. Celebrate daily successes

Focus on one good choice at a time
Praise any progress
Appreciate your gains
Study your progress to learn how to
keep it going

John R. Williams
 Basic Strategies to
Reduce Negatives IX

10. Keep motivated

Externalize List the benefits of stopping
porn as the What do you dislike about
enemy this habit?
What harm does it do?
Reframe your
struggle as a What are you afraid might

heroic fight for happen if you dont stop?

self and others How would your life
improve without it?
John R. Williams
Basic Strategies to
Reduce Negatives X

11. Expect relapses

When stressed, New habits take time and
old urges will effort to develop
surface 6-9 months needed to
Familiar way retrain the brain
to cope Requires
perseverance with
the new behaviors

John R. Williams
 Unhealthy Guilt and Despair Can
Fuel the Habit

Resist all-or-
nothing Stress & Porn
thinking Distress Use
Feeds
self-hatred
and despair
Porn Guilt &
Use Despair

John R. Williams
 Get Stronger from Relapses

Gain the lessons: Quickly get back

1. You have faced a new on track
level of challenge Admire your own
Need to study it and strength
adjust Dont get
2. You misjudged the discouraged
temptation
Or you misjudged your
level of skill
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For the Spouse of a Porn User

1. Get educated about 3. Find support

the habit Fellow sufferers
Keep your reactions Counselor
and expectations for
4. Find others to
change reasonable
help your
2. Be careful about spouse
learning details Dont be porn
May be too distressing police
John R. Williams
Building Up Positives

John R. Williams
Overview of Basic Strategies to
Build Up Positives & Grow

12. Meet the 15. Expand and

underlying fortify love
needs relationships
13. Exchange 16. Make healthy
support with new habits
others 17. Keep higher
14. Learn new happiness in
skills mind

John R. Williams
Basic Strategies to
Build Up Positives & Grow I

12. Meet the 13. Exchange

underlying needs support with
Cravings signal the others
need for love, etc. Open up to let

What distress are other strugglers

you avoiding? help you
Face and address Give the same in

specific fears return

Check for Learn by

depression John R. Williams

teaching
Basic Strategies to
Build Up Positives & Grow II

14. Learn new skills

Dealing with emotions

Stress release

Managing conflict with others

Problem solving

Self expression

Making friends

Healthy bonding with others

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Basic Strategies to
Build Up Positives & Grow III

15. Expand and fortify love relationships

Need good vertical Fight any
and horizontal reluctance to
connections get close to
To give care and key people
receive it Father

Non-sexual physical relationship

affection is important

John R. Williams
Basic Strategies to
Build Up Positives & Grow IV

16. Make healthy 17. Keep higher

new habits happiness in mind
Exercise and rest Remind yourself of

Good engaging what you really want

activities Use pictures and

Harmless phrases
distractions

John R. Williams
 Helpful Resources

1. Porn Filter and 4. Purity Education,

Accountability Support and Coaching
Software YourBrainOnPorn.com
Max.com 3xPureOnline.com
2. Filtered Internet DrDougWeiss.com
BSecure.com CandeoHealthySexuality
3. Movie filter .com
Maxplay.com

John R. Williams
John R. Williams, M.M.F.T.
973.340.8642

John.Coach1@gmail.com

John R. Williams