Conflict Management

Toolkit

Prawin RamBhojan
 Table of Contents
I. Determining the current level of conflict level in my work life (self-assessment)

II. Determining my conflict style (self assessment)

III. Resolving a conflict with one other person

IV. Resolving a group conflict.

V. Supervisor’s role in resolving employee conflict

VI. The art of disciplining employees (for supervisors)

VII. The role of HR in conflict resolution

VIII. Listing of informal and formal conflict resolution processes

IX. Conflict Management Reference list

X. Supervisor Network: “Share your wealth of experience”

Determining the level of conflict in
my life

Conflict Management Toolkit

Part I
 Determining the source of
conflict
At times you may sense conflict at work, but not know
exactly why.

The conflict self-assessment will help you to pinpoint

the specific area in which you are experiencing
conflict so that you can begin to resolve it. The
areas addressed are supervisor, self, peers,
employees, and productivity.
What is my conflict style?

Conflict Management Toolkit

Part II
 Conflict Style
• Not only is it important to know what relationship or
situation is causing conflict in our life, but it is also
important to look at how we normally resolve conflict
(our natural inclination).

• We must then decide whether we are satisfied with

our current approach or if we would like to change it in
some way to improve our effectiveness at conflict
resolution.
 Style Explanation
As you discovered through the conflict resolution
assessment, our natural inclinations usually place us
into one of these styles.

• Avoiding
• Accommodating
• Compromising
• Competing
• Collaborating
 Style Explanation
• Avoiding Style (-,-)
– If I ignore the problem, it will go away
– If I confront the problem, I may hurt someone’s
feelings
– Why bother… it won’t change anything
• Accommodating (-,+)
– It’s easier to just give in and give them what they
want
– You will be better liked if you just agree
– By letting the other person win this time, you will
win next time… you have to pick your battles.
 Style Explanation
• Compromising Style (-,-)
– It’s only fair because then neither of us get what we want.
– Both parties are on an even playing field
– We can choose to give up something we really don’t need, thereby
winning.
• Competing Style (+,-)
– I’m right and you’re wrong
– There is only one solution
• Collaborating (+,+)
– We can find a solution that works for both of us.
– By asking the other person’s perspective, I can understand them.
– Once we find a common ground, we can work from there.
 Conflict Style
If you find yourself adopting a
conflict style that you’re not happy
about…

1. Analyze why you have adopted that style.

2. Develop some simple action steps that will help

you break your habit.

3. Read on for helpful tips that will guide you

through various conflict situations.
 One-to-one
Conflict
Conflict Management Toolkit
Part VI
 If you want to constructively
resolve a conflict with another
person…

• FIRST, get into the right frame of mind for a positive

discussion, always remembering to treat the other
person with respect

• SECOND, agree on the best time and place for both of

you to discuss the conflict with each other.

• THIRD, Set some ground rules.

• FOURTH, have a discussion.

 Step 1:

Adopt the right frame

of mind
 The Approach
When you are ready to approach
the other person remember to:

• Go in with the right attitude

• Send positive non-verbal signals
• Focus on the real issues
• Pay attention to communication style
 Your Attitude
Leave Behind…
• Your desire to win, punish,
or control
• Your desire that
everything be “fair”
• Your assumption that it
won’t work
• Your tendency to think in
“black and white”, “right or
wrong”
• Your determination to be
right.
Take With You…
• A willingness to work at this
• An understanding that
“perception is reality” both
for you and those around you.
• A willingness to learn from
the situation
• A willingness to see and
acknowledge your own
contribution to the problem.
Be aware of your nonverbal
signals:
Others impression of you is based on:
• 7 % of the words used;

• 38% on voice quality; and

• 55% on nonverbal
communication
 Focus on underlying Issues
• What happened?
– Difference in expectations:
• What did I expect to happen?; What actually
happened? Who did what?
– Intention inventory (Who meant what?)
• Feelings
– Don’t ignore or fail to acknowledge
– Feelings make relationships enjoyable and difficult
conversations difficult (can’t have one without the
other!)
• Identity
– Must face ourselves as well as other person
– Am I competent?; Am I a good person?; Am I worthy
of love?
 Communication Tips
 Avoid “you” statements
 Focus on behavior, not employee
 Focus on actions, not intent
 Be descriptive and specific (bring data)
 Practice active listening skills
 Ask open and closed questions to
clarify points
 Step 2:

Consider time factors

 Be Timely:

talk to the other person while the

issues are still current

Anger and negative feelings

tend to fester if not dealt with quickly!!
Consider the other person’s
time needs
• Don’t interrupt the other person’s
schedule and state that you need to
talk
• Agree on a time to meet with the other
person and inform him/her of the topic.
• Give him/her time to prepare mentally.
 Step 3:

Set some ground rules!

 3 “Golden” Rules
1. Everyone tells it like they see it.

2. Get everything on the table.

3. Focus on the future.

Sample Rules for discussion
In addition to general rules, it is helpful to agree on
how you will talk with each other

• No interruptions
• No yelling
• Time limit on certain topics of
discussion
• Words to avoid
• Agreement on what to do if you can’t
agree ahead of time
 Step 4:

The Actual Discussion

 The Actual Conversation
1. Define the conflict.

2. Communicate understanding.

3. Explore alternative solutions.

4. Agree on most workable solution.

5. Evaluate after time.

 Define the Conflict
 Describe the problem in clear, concrete
terms. Be specific (use “I” not “you”)

 Focus on behaviors or problems, not people

 Talk about the impact on you

 Define the conflict as a problem to solve

together, not a battle to be won
2. Communicate Understanding
 Listen to really understand the other person’s
feelings, needs, Reflect back.

– Explain how you see the problem after you have

heard them.

– Identify your contribution to the situation.

– Describe feelings (not judgments or accusations)

– Talk about identity issues.

3. Explore alternative solutions

- Take turns offering alternative solutions.

List them all.

– Be nonjudgmental of other’s ideas.

– Examine the consequence of each solution.

– Think and talk positively.

4. Agree on most workable
solution

- Agree on a solution you both

understand and can live with.

– Be committed to resolving the

conflict
5. Evaluate after time

Get together after

some time and see
how the new
arrangement is
working for both parties
 Tips in difficult Situations
• Pacing: one approximates the behavior of the other
person to subconsciously build rapport.

• “Mental Aikido”: mentally moving away from the focal

point of the adversary’s attack. Make a non-linear response
to the adversary’s words. “Sharks expect you to react.”

• “Patterned interruption”: involves varying your

usual response. “You have the capacity to interrupt the
usual destructive pattern by doing something completely
different or unexpected.”
Resolving Group Conflict

Workforce Development
Toolkit
Part VII
 Meeting Conflict
1. If you sense a spoken or unspoken conflict in a meeting over an issue, address it.
“There seems to be some disagreement over this issue. Can we take a few
minutes to clarify the issue.

2. Clarify the conflict.

“O.K. so there seems to be some disagreement over…….”

3. Decide if there is time to deal with it today or if another meeting needs to be set
up to give it full attention.
“Since this seems to be quite an important issue and we don’t have much time
today. Let’s agree to meet again to discuss it further. Can we meet on….”

4. If another meeting is necessary, assign responsibility for gathering more

information on the subject to staff.
“Sue, can you please research information on…. And Diane can you please check
on that State mandate.”

5. Insist employees let it go until the next meeting.

“We have a lot of other issues to discuss today so let’s free our minds of this
issue until the set meeting and move on.”
 Group Resolution
1. Restate the issue to ensure clarity.

2. Have each group member, share information gathered and give his/her opinion.

3. Make sure everything is put on the table (no unresolved feelings popping up
later)

4. Brainstorm alternatives

5. Agree on best solution using team decision-making steps (see reference list at
end)

6. Develop action steps.

7. Agree on follow-up session.

Supervisor’s role in resolving
conflict

Conflict Management Toolkit

Part IV
 Your Role as a Supervisor
Involves:
• Looking for ways to reduce and
prevent conflict in your work area

• Handling conflict as a third party

• Handling grievances as they come

to you
 You can reduce conflict by:
• Being a good leader

• Being aware of your management style

• Training yourself and your staff on

conflict resolution

• Looking out for signs

 Be a Good Leader
• Set a good example

• Communicate clear standards

• Set ground rules

• Provide clear rationale for decisions

• Ensure employees have resources and training to do their

jobs

• Get to know your employees

 Be a Good Leader
• Conduct performance counseling

• Assist employees who have performance problems

• Address misconduct promptly

• Get advice from HR when you have questions or concerns

prior to the need to pursue disciplinary actions

• Treat employees fairly and equitably, applying rules

consistently
 Be aware of your own
behavior
1. Allowing aggressive or inappropriate conduct without taking
action can foster a hostile or intimidating work
environment.

2. Decision-making without employee input or participation can

lead to frustrated employees who don’t feel valued as
anything but “worker bees.”

3. Your staff looks to you to assist in resolving conflicts. You

are better equipped to resolve conflicts if both you and
your staff have had conflict resolution training.

4. If you are inconsistent or unpredictable, your employees

will be unsure of your expectations and become frustrated.

5. Engaging in relationships with your employees that are

personal or too informal may lead to misunderstandings, as
well as other employees feeling alienated.
 Lookout for Signs of
discontentment
• A usually outgoing, communicative employee becomes withdrawn and
quiet.

• An employee frequently comes in late for work.

• An employee is more argumentative and erratic than usual.

• An employee suddenly takes no interest in maintaining his or her personal

appearance or hygiene.

• An employee makes comments about violent means of dealing with, or

coping with, a particular situation.

• An employee talks about “having nothing to lose” or not caring about

anything anymore.
Handling conflict as a third
party
 Handling Employee Conflicts
• Situation 1: An employee complains to
you about another employee

• Situation 2 You observe a conflict

situation

• Situation 3: An employee would like to

file a formal grievance
 If an employee comes to you
with a possible grievance:
• Take the complaint seriously

• Set a professional tone for the interview– put the complainant at

ease

• Provide assurance of confidentiality & non-retaliation

• Ask for– but do not require- a written statement.

• Gather facts, do not make judgments.

• Listen and get answers to: “who, what, when, where, why, how.”

• Communicate your concern and describe the available options.

 Handling a formal complaint
cont…
• Ask how the complainant would like to proceed.

• Tell the complainant that prompt action will be taken.

• Ask about the person (s) need for immediate assistance.

• Refer them to UMW’s grievance policy

• Set a time for a follow-up meeting and/or refer the person

to the HR office

• Document and contact HR.

The art of disciplining
employees
 Proactive Steps to Disciplining
employees
(Smart Discipline)

1. Make sure you know UMW’s discipline policy.

2. Share the policy and potential consequences

with your employees.

3. Treat all employees consistently and fairly.

4. Before taking any action, be sure of the facts.

Discipline
Policy
 Progressive
Discipline

Progressive Discipline means you move through increasingly

stronger counseling or training in an attempt at causing or
convincing the employee to bring his/her performance to an
acceptable level
Key Ingredients in Progressive
Discipline

• Due notice

• A chance to improve, and

• A review process

The process should be FULL, FAIR, PROMPT,

and CONDUCTED IN GOOD FAITH.
Advantages of Progressive Discipline

1. Protects you against accusations of firing a

person without due process.

2. Chance to turn the employee around into a

well functioning employee.

3. Chance to improve policies and practices

4. Demonstrates to fellow employees that you

are fair and willing to give employees a
chance.
Steps in Progressive
Discipline
 1. How to act when you become aware
of a disciplinary problem
1. Personal Observation
If you observed the negative behavior personally,
you can proceed to the slide labeled counseling.
(Slide 56.)

2. Complaint from a 3rd party

If a 3rd party makes you aware of the negative
behavior, you must make sure you conduct
thorough and fair fact finding steps. (see next
slide).
 2. Fact Finding
1. Talk to the accused using the “counseling” guidelines on next slide.

2. If the employee denies the behavior or recounts a different scenario,

explain to him/her that further fact finding is necessary.

3. Talk to only those directly involved in the situation in a confidential

manner.

4. Document all discussions with related parties.

5. Review all relevant documents, pictures or diagrams to substantiate

the fact finding.
 3. Counseling the Employee

• Assure employee that only those who need to know will be informed.

• Share concrete examples with the employee of the negative behavior

• State the effects of this negative behavior.

• Describe the behavior you would like to see (what changes must
occur).

• Give the employee a chance to explain or comment.

• Agree together on a plan of action.

• State the consequences if this change of behavior does not occur

 Additional Tips about
Counseling

• Documentation of counseling should be

retained in supervisor’s files, not in
employee’s personnel file.

• Don’t soften the blow, the employee must

understand the severity of his/her actions.
 4. Formal Discipline
1. Before taking any formal disciplinary action, consult
with your supervisor.
2. Reference the “Code of Conduct” to match severity
of discipline with negative conduct.
3. Issue a written notice when counseling did not work
or when the conduct was severe enough to warrant
immediate discipline.
4. ALWAYS place a warning about the consequences
of failure to improve performance in writing before
implementing any discipline measures such as
suspension, dismissal.
 4. Formal Discipline Continued
5. If the employee’s performance remains poor and
you feel you have provided enough counseling and
given enough warning, follow through on the
threatened discipline.
6. ALWAYS make sure of what you are doing and that
your final decision is fair.
7. Listen to employee and review the evidence one
more time from the employee’s point of view.
8. Finalize the discipline by following your policies.
9. Consult HR as to the actual method of implementing
the discipline.
 5. Termination
* NEVER TERMINATE WITHOUT CONSULTING HR

LOGISTICS:
Before conducting a termination, you need to:

* Schedule (when, how long)

* Location
* Extra Support (HR, EAP)
* Prepare (physical & psychological)
* Review separation package
* Think about employee’s state of mind and potential reaction
 5. Termination Cont.

OBJECTIVES:
* Deliver the message quickly, respectfully, & professionally
* Ensure individual understands that employment if
terminated immediately or in the near future
* Deliver the separation package
* Strongly encourage employees to utilize Employment
commission or through any job search centre
* Provide structure for the next 24 hours
* Ensure to collect agency property before employee leaves
for the day.
 Key Points in
Smart Discipline
• Always follow your written policies and past
practices in similar situations
• Lack of consistency will cause a judge to assume
you are discriminating against the employee in some
way.
• Remember that other employees will be watching
you to see if you are fair.
• Always listen to employees and give them a chance
to improve
 Top Ways to Get Sued…

1. Discharge the disabled worker (without accommodation)

2. Misclassifying a non-exempt employee as exempt and not
paying overtime.
3. Allowing managers and supervisors to use offensive words
as a “joke”.
4. Failure to stop sexual harassment.
5. Punishing the victim (intentionally or unintentionally)
6. Letting managers “go postal” when acting on behalf of
employer.
In a disciplinary situation…
“not taking action” is a
decision!
 The Role of the

Office of
Human Resources

in Conflict Resolution
 The Role of HR
If you are in a conflict situation and don’t know how to
deal with it, the Office of HR can:

• Provide you with guidance and tools to approach the conflict

situation.

• Direct you through the appropriate chain of command.

• Present formal and informal options available to you.

• Coordinate mediation, facilitation, or counseling sessions for

you.
 Things that will help us to help
you…
HR will try to help you no matter
what your situation, but we can best
assist you if you come to us:

• At the onset of the conflict;

• With clear examples or facts; and

• With your ideas of what you would like changed in

your situation.
 Consult HR as a proactive
rather than reactive measure

A single injury is much easier to fix when

compared to multiple wounds!
Informal and Formal
Conflict Resolution
Processes
 Informal Processes
“Open Door”:
- Present concern to any available level of management
– Make an appointment
– Be aware of the supervisory chain of command

“Internal Mediation”
- If the conflict issue involves only work
- related situations, your supervisor or a higher level manager can try to assist
the
- two conflicting parties in reaching a solution.

“Mediation”
– Voluntary Process
– Neutral mediators assist discussion
– Parties working out own solutions
– Call HR office or EDR for more information
Thank You

Prawin RamBhojan