Love and Sexuality

Far Eastern University

Foundation for Adolescent Development, Inc.

The 5 Is of Adolescent Development

1. Independence
Your desire to be independent from your parents and elders grows during adolescence. You want to take charge of your life and be able to make your own decisions. You want to have the power to choose your friends, plan your activities, and dream your dreams.

2. Identity
You search for identity is all about finding out who you are and what you want to become. .

3. Integrity
As an adolescent, you face the challenge of putting together all the values everyone else tries to teach you, and coming up with your own set of guidelines for your life. You choose what seems to be right to you, and you use that as a guide for your actions and choices.

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The 5 Is of Adolescent Development

4. Intellect
Your brain develops the power to think in new and exciting ways during adolescence. In other words, you get smarter. You get batter at understanding difficult ideas and become more resourceful at solving problems.

5. Intimacy
During adolescence, you feel the need to be in close relationships with significant people, like your parents, relatives, and friends, whether theyre boys and girls. You want to have special connections with people who understand and accept you for who you are.
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What is Sexuality?
Sexuality is not just about sex. Sex is just a small portion of what human sexuality is all about.

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What is Sex?
Sex has something to do with your being male or female, which is dependent on your physical makeup: parts of your body, like your sex organs, hormones, and others.

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Different elements of human sexuality

a. Physiology
It is based on your physical make-up or parts of your body, such as sex organ, hormones, and reproductive system, which will tell whether you are male or female.

Foundation for Adolescent Development, Inc.

Different elements of human sexuality

b. Gender
It is also defined by the roles and activities that you have learned to perform, which culture or society has prescribed because you are either male or female.

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Different elements of human sexuality

c. Values and Attitudes
It is dependent, too, on your unique life experiences, as well as your own set of personal values, attitudes, and beliefs about males and females.

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Different elements of human sexuality

d. Feelings
It is comprised as well by the feelings and emotions that you have towards yourself and other people because you are either male or female.

Foundation for Adolescent Development, Inc.

Different elements of human sexuality

e. Choices and Behavior
It is expressed in the way you act, the choices you take, and the relationship you make with other people because of your being male or female.

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Sexuality is
Sexuality is not just about having SEX. It is about who you are, how people view you, how you feel, how you view things, what you do, and how these all affect your being a male or a female.

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Sexuality is
The ability to control ones sexual urge is a sign of ones healthy attitude towards his or her sexuality.

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What do you think are the similarities and differences of males and females as they develop their sexuality?

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Development of Sexuality in girls and boys

a) Her body prepares for reproduction. Her hips widen, her breasts enlarge, and her body hair increases. She suddenly gets taller and more shapely b) a) His body prepares for reproduction. Hormones make his voice change and make hair grow on his face, under his arms, and in the genital area. He gets stronger and taller, looking more and more like the man he will become. He experiences sexual pleasure for the first time through wet dreams. Through nocturnal emissions, his body at times releases semen during sleep, whether he stimulates himself or not. He enjoys this sensation and becomes familiar with it. Having experienced it, he even sometimes finds himself looking for it, which results to consciously stimulating himself

b)

She gets her first menstrual period. Every month after that, she goes through a physical, hormonal, and emotional cycle which continues until the time that she undergoes menopause

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Development of Sexuality in girls and boys

c) She experiences her sexual awakening on the emotional level. She just feels a strong, emotional need to be in a loving boy-girl relationship. For females, there is no equivalent experience of sexual pleasure similar to the males repeated wet dreams. She doesnt typically experience a regular and persistent need for physical satisfaction, like adolescent males do. C) The early experience of sexual pleasure increases in him a strong desire for sex. His first encounter with sexual pleasure produces in him a strong, insistent, and sometimes urgent desire to have sexual relations with a female any female. In fact, given a chance, males can have sex just for the sheer pleasure of it, and they can do it even with someone they dont love. At this age, he does not need to be emotionally bonded or be inlove with a woman before he goes to bed with her.

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Development of Sexuality in girls and boys

d)

Her sexuality grows with a more integrated view of love and sex. She instinctively identifies emotional bonding with the physical act of sex. She does this without imagining herself immediately getting into bed with whoever happens to be her boyfriend at that time .

d)

He experiences confusion and guilt He feels confused and guilty when he experiences this same sexual desire directed towards someone he actually likes and is emotionally close to. He feels embarrassed about these feelings. He thinks its okay to feel sexually attracted to a sexy female stranger, but not to a female friend.

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Development of Sexuality in girls and boys

e)

She doesnt normally have casual sex. Most girls would not engage in sex just for the fun of it or with someone whom she doesnt love or who doesnt love her. This is why she is saving herself for the man wholl spend the rest of his life raising a family with her.

e)

He is not aware that he is experiencing two different sides of his sexuality. He doesnt know that his body is developing two sets of drive: 1) his growing need for physical satisfaction, and 2) his similarly growing but less urgent need for emotional closeness with a girl. He finds it hard to reconcile these two sides at first, because each starts out being unrelated to the other. He thinks that the two drives are totally distinct from each other.

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Development of Sexuality in girls and boys

f) She sees sex as not just a physical or biological activity but an emotional act of love and surrender. why a girl may be misled into thinking that having sex with a guy actually proves that she loves him, when it actually doesnt prove anything like that to the guy at all. But sadly, by the time she finds out, its often already too late, and she cant get back what shes already given him. f) He unites these two separate needs as he matures. As he grows older and more mature he will hopefully be able to unite these two separate needs, emotional and physical, into a single drive. He will be able to see sex as a natural, physical activity that is not separate from emotions. More importantly, he will see sex as a means of expressing emotional bonding and commitment.

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Love and Relationships

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COMPLETE THE SENTENCE Love is

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What Love is NOT:

a) Love is not just a romantic feeling or an emotion Love is not focused on what you need, but on what is good for you and your partner. Love is not just focused on the present, but also on the future.

b)

c)

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Stages of a Healthy BGR

STAGE 1

Stage 1 Acquaintanship Becoming acquainted: Who are you?

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Stages of a Healthy BGR

STAGE 2

Stage 2 Friendship Forming a bond: Who am I to you?

Foundation for Adolescent Development, Inc.

Stages of a Healthy BGR

STAGE 3

Stage 3 Courtship Discovering each other: Are you the one for me?

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Stages of a Healthy BGR

STAGE 4

Stage 4 Going Steady Officially ON

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Potential Dangers in BGR

a) Not being able to fully grow as a person.

Being in an intense and exclusive BGR at such an early point in ones life can slow your growth as an adolescent. Being involved with someone too early and too deeply may distract you from growing in the different areas of your life.

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Potential Dangers in BGR

b) Losing ones identity in the relationship.

You may be so busy trying to please your partner that you lose sight of what you really want or what kind of person you really want to be. Instead, you are molding yourself into the kind of person your partner wishes or expects. .

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Potential Dangers in BGR

c) Isolation from other healthy relationships.

When you build your world around the person, you become emotionally cut-off from your parents, your siblings, your friends, your teachers, and everyone else who loves you. Remember: True love is not two people looking at each other, but two people looking at the world together. . .

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Potential Dangers in BGR

d) Disillusionment
When you are emotionally attached to someone, it becomes harder for you to see when a relationship is already harmful to you. You are afraid of losing it, and so, you close your eyes to even the most obvious signs that there is a problem. In this case, you need to step back and be objective when making decisions about your relationship . . .

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Potential Dangers in BGR

e) Growing physical intimacy.

Too much exclusivity can tempt you to move into dangerous, physical situations. From kissing it can develop into actual sex that can bring about unfavorable consequences such as

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Level of Sexual Intimacies a) Holding Hands b) Hugging c) Kissing d) Necking e) Petting f) Sexual Intercourse

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Reasons why Adolescents Engage in Premarital Sex

a) Curiosity
 They want to find out what makes sex popular and appealing to teenagers like them.

b) External influence
 Teenagers are bombarded with messages coming from friends and other sources, such as television, radio, and movies that tell them that sex is an in thing.
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Reasons why Adolescents Engage in Premarital Sex

c) Relationship ingredient
 Many young people believe that sex should happen in a relationship. They see it as something that can spice up the relationship and make them better lovers

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Reasons why Adolescents Engage in Premarital Sex d) Pressure from partner

 They are asked to give in as a form of birthday or anniversary gift to their partner. They trust their partner so much or believe that their boyfriend or girlfriend knows what he or she is doing .

e) An act of rebellion
 They justify their sexual acts as substitute for the lack of love and attention they receive from their parents. Having sex with their partner makes them feel loved .
Foundation for Adolescent Development, Inc.

How to Say No

a)

Say NO and Mean It

Use a firm tone of voice to support the NO message. Repeat the No message as much as needed.

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How to Say No

b) Give a strong nonverbal NO message

Hands off gesture: Use hand or arm movement for emphasis. Stiff body: Sit or stand stiffly. Stomp away from the other person if you have to. Serious expression: Use an I mean it face. Other body movements: Cross arms and legs for emphasis. Fight back: If all else fails, push the person away and protect yourself.

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How to Say No

c) Avoid getting into tempting situation

KKK Rule BBB Rule

d) Leave the situation

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Keep in Mind that



The way a boy grows up to become a man is very different from the way a girl grows up to become a woman.

Because boys and girls grow in their sexuality in different ways, they also come to regard love and sex very differently.

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Keep in Mind that



Feelings involved during this stage of boy-girl relationship changes unexpectedly. Thus, there is a great concerns to avoid becoming sexually intimate with ones partner. Young couples should be aware that their acts of sexual intimacies can lead to a point of no return where they may find it difficult to stop the sexual intimacy they have started until it leads to premarital sex.

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Keep in Mind that



Premarital sex can lead to many negative consequences that teenagers may not be able to handle. Both boys and girls must share the responsibility for avoiding the degree of sexual intimacy that would make it difficult or impossible for them to back out from.

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Keep in Mind that



You can have an exciting, wholesome and healthy relationship with someone special without compromising your own future.

Real love is a decision, a commitment to ensure the growth of you and your partner into better persons.

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Keep in Mind that

Loving someone with all your heart involves learning how to love right.

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For more information and Free Telephone Counseling CALL

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