FAMILY INFLUENCES

Special Parenting Situations

Teen Moms & Dads Single Parenting Foster Care & Adoption Parents with Disabilities Parents with Mental Illness LGBT Parents Military Deployment Family Violence
Source: U.S. Department of Health: Womens Health (http://www.womenshealth.gov/

Teen Moms & Dads

Ang mga dalagita ng Sapang Kawayan Teenage Pregnancy in the Philippines

TEEN PARENTING ISN'T EASY. THEY MUST LIVE TWO LIVES IN ONE, AS A TEEN AND AS A PARENT. RAISING A CHILD ISN'T AN EASY THING TO DO. RAISING A CHILD WHILE THE PARENTS ARE STILL IN THEIR TEENS IS EVEN HARDER. DEALING WITH THE DAY TO DAY CHORES THAT INVOLVES A BABY

http://www.essortment.com/teen-parenting-50093.html

TEEN MOMS & DADS: PROS AND CONS +

High energy Pushes them to a new level of responsibility Feeling of unconditional love New, amazing experience

Role strain Financial difficulty Criticism & Discrimination Lose the chance of being a teen Rare that teen parents will stay together Time management Lack of parenting skills

IMPLICATIONS FOR THEIR CHILDREN]S HEALTH AND DEVELOPMENT

Born prematurely and at low birth weight Children of teen mothers do worse in school than those born to older parents Suffer higher rates of abuse and neglect than would occur if their mothers had delayed childbearing The sons of teen mothers are 13 percent more likely to end up in prison The daughters of teen parents are 22 percent more likely to become teen mothers themselves
http://www.docsfortots.org/resources/talkingPoints/docs/teenpregnancy.pdf

Single Parenting

SINGLE PARENTING: PROS AND CONS +

Developing strong bonds Experiencing community Shared responsibilities Handling conflict and disappointment Seeing real-life balanced opportunities

Being isolated (constant moving) Low self-esteem Behavioral and emotional distress Sinking grades (trauma)

WHAT TO DO WHEN THEY ASK WHERE]S DADDY?

Adoption

IF WE AREN'T STRAIGHT WITH OUR CHILDREN ABOUT THEIR PAST, THEY WILL PICK UP ON IT AND FANTASIZE SOMETHING THAT MAY BE MUCH WORSE.
-CAROL WILLIAMS, UNIVERSITY OF NORTH CAROLINA.
http://www.adoptivefamilies.com/articles.php?aid=881

PROS AND CONS: ON ADOPTED CHILDREN +

Children find permanency, stability, and a home Needs provided Curiosity and Identity Development

Rejection and Loss Guilt and Shame Need for Intimacy Feel a lack of Control

http://www.ehow.com/info_7871622_effects-adoption-kids.html

TELLING THE TRUTH:

Pre-school years:

"YOUR BIRTH MOTHER COULDN'T TAKE CARE OF YOU, BUT SHE WANTED YOU TO BE SAFE. SO SHE FOUND A SAFE PLACE TO PUT YOU WHERE OTHER ADULTS WOULD TAKE CARE OF YOU.|
Elementary years:

"WE FEEL SAD SOMETIMES, AND EVEN MAD SOMETIMES, THAT WE CANNOT GIVE YOU ANY MORE INFORMATION. DO YOU EVER HAVE ANY SAD OR MAD FEELINGS ABOUT NOT KNOWING Source: National Survey of Parents with Disabilities; State of New Jersey; Parent Link ANYTHING? IT IS IMPORTANT TO UNDERSTAND (http://www.nj.gov/njparentlink/services/special/) THAT YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE

TELLING THE TRUTH:

Middle School Years:

"ALTHOUGH WE DO NOT HAVE SPECIFIC INFORMATION ABOUT YOUR BIRTH PARENTS, WE CAN STUDY YOUR COUNTRY AND TRY TO UNDERSTAND WHY BIRTH PARENTS HAD TO MAKE SUCH DIFFICULT DECISIONS. WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT YOUR BIRTH PARENTS, WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT? ARE YOU EVER SAD OR ANGRY THAT YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THEM?" PARENTS CAN BEGIN TO BRING UP THE SOCIETAL, ECONOMIC, AND CULTURAL ASPECTS OF THEIR CHILD'S COUNTRY THAT WOULD FORCE BIRTH PARENTS TO MAKE SUCH A DECISION.
Preteen:

Parents with Disabilities

SILENCE OF LOVE

HAVING A DISABILITY DOES NOT KEEP A PERSON FROM BEING A CAPABLE, LOVING PARENT. PARENTS WITH DISABILITIES FACE THE SAME CHALLENGES OF RAISING CHILDREN AS ALL PARENTS. YET, PARENTS WITH DISABILITIES ALSO CAN HAVE UNIQUE NEEDS AND CONCERNS.

MOST CHALLENGING ASPECTS OF PARENTING WITH A DISABILITY

Physical exertion Doing everything that needs to get done Social messages given to children Keeping up with children Transportation Discipline Maintaining continuity in children's lives Limited income Participation in school events Communication
Source: National Survey of Parents with Disabilities; State of New Jersey; Parent Link (http://www.nj.gov/njparentlink/services/special/)

POSITIVE EFFECTS OF PARENTING WITH A DISABILITY

Child learns compassion Child is more open-minded towards others More time with kids Child is more resourceful

Source: National Survey of Parents with Disabilities State of New Jersey; Parent Link (http://www.nj.gov/njparentlink/services/special/)

Parents with Mental Illness

MENTAL ILLNESS CAN BE FRIGHTENING -- NOT ONLY TO THE PERSON WHO HAS IT BUT ALSO TO PEOPLE AROUND THEM. IF YOU ARE A CHILD AND RELIANT ON THE CARE OF AN ADULT WHO HAS A MENTAL ILLNESS, THINGS CAN BE EVEN MORE CONFUSING. CHILDREN MAY HAVE A NUMBER OF QUESTIONS, SUCH AS "WHY IS MY MOM OR DAD THIS WAY?"

PROBLEMS THE FAMILY GOES THROUGH:

Harming the child Relationship breakdown Negligence Attachment issues Parentification Isolation Passing on the symptoms

Source: Mental Health Association of Southeastern PA

MOST CHALLENGING ASPECTS OF PARENTS WITH MENTAL ILLNESS

Making your children understand the situation Children of any age can be cruel to each other (teasing/bullying) Children may feel guilty about being embarrassed by their parent's illnesses Children often feel responsible for their parent's illness or feel as though it is somehow their fault Children may feel unsafe, unsecured & unloved

Source: Mental Health Association of Southeastern PA

WHAT YOU CAN DO

Take time to address their questions and concerns

5-YEAR OLD: "DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN YOU HAD CHICKEN POX? YOU CRIED A LOT, YOU DIDN'T FEEL LIKE DOING ANYTHING AND YOU WERE GROUCHY TOWARD ALL OF US. IT WASN'T BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T LOVE US OR WANTED TO BE THAT WAY BUT BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T FEEL WELL. RIGHT NOW YOUR MOMMYSource: Mental HealthFEEL WELL. PA DOESN'T Association of Southeastern THAT'S WHY SHE'S CRYING A LOT, NOT

WHAT YOU CAN DO

Take time to address their questions and concerns

10-YEAR OLD: "YOU KNOW HOW PARTS OF OUR BODIES GET SICK SOMETIMES, LIKE WHEN WE GET STOMACH ACHES OR SORE THROATS. WELL SOME PEOPLE GET SICK IN THE PART OF THEIR BRAIN THAT CONTROLS FEELINGS. THAT'S WHAT'S WRONG WITH DAD. HE HAS A SICKNESS IN THAT PART Source: Mental Health Association of Southeastern PA OF HIS BRAIN THAT CONTROLS FEELINGS. THIS

WHAT YOU CAN DO

Children of any age can be cruel to each other (teasing/bullying)

WHAT TO SAY? ""MY DAD DOES THAT BECAUSE HE IS SICK. I WOULDN'T MAKE FUN OF YOUR DAD IF HE WAS SICK PLEASEREALLY UNDERSTOOD WHAT IS "IF YOU DON'T MAKE FUN OF MINE." WRONG WITH MY MOTHER, I DON'T THINK YOU'D SAY THAT. SHE HAS AN ILLNESS THAT MAKES HER DO THAT. SHE'S TAKING MEDICINE AND TRYING TO GET Source: Mental Health FOR of Southeastern BETTER. IT'S REALLY HARDAssociationME, SO PA PLEASE DON'T TEASE ME

WHAT YOU CAN DO

Children may feel guilty about being embarrassed by their parent's illnesses

ASK A CHILD ABOUT THE WAY THEIR PARENT ACTS AND HOW IT MAKES THEM FEEL. EXPLAIN THAT MENTAL ILLNESS CAN MAKE PARENTS ACT IN STRANGE, CONFUSING OR SCARY WAYS SOMETIMES.
Source: Mental Health Association of Southeastern PA

WHAT YOU CAN DO

Children often feel responsible for their parent's illness or feel as though it is somehow their fault

WHAT TO SAY? "YOU KNOW I SOMETIMES WISH THERE WAS SOMETHING I COULD DO/OR WISH I HAD DONE DIFFERENTLY TO MAKE YOUR MOM/DAD BETTER. BUT I KNOW THAT MENTAL ILLNESS IS NOBODY'S FAULT . . . "
Source: Mental Health Association of Southeastern PA

WHAT YOU CAN DO

Children may feel unsafe, unsecured & unloved A consistent routine helps children feel safe. Explain to children that sometimes talking can help and keeping things in can make one feel worse. Make sure children know what to do and who to call if they don't feel safe, them exactly who to call and where to go if something happens that scares them when they are alone with their ill parent and they can't reach you.
Source: Mental Health Association of Southeastern PA

LGBT Parents

CURRENT RESEARCH SHOWS THAT CHILDREN WITH GAY AND LESBIAN PARENTS DO NOT DIFFER FROM CHILDREN WITH HETEROSEXUAL PARENTS IN THEIR EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT OR IN THEIR RELATIONSHIPS WITH PEERS AND ADULTS. IT IS IMPORTANT FOR PARENTS TO UNDERSTAND THAT IT IS THE QUALITY OF THE PARENT/CHILD

Source: American Academy on Child & Adolescent Psychiatry

CHILDREN OF LESBIAN, GAY, OR TRANSGENDER PARENTS:

Are not more likely to be gay than children with heterosexual parents. Are not more likely to be sexually abused. Do not show differences in whether they think of themselves as male or female (gender identity). Do not show differences in their male and female behaviors (gender role behavior).
Source: American Academy on Child & Adolescent Psychiatry

SOME LGBT FAMILIES FACE DISCRIMINATION IN THEIR COMMUNITIES AND CHILDREN MAY BE TEASED OR BULLIED BY PEERS. .

Source: American Academy on Child & Adolescent Psychiatry

PARENTS CAN HELP THEIR CHILDREN COPE WITH THESE PRESSURES IN THE FF. WAYS:
Allow for open communication and discussions that are appropriate to your childs age and level of maturity. Prepare your child to handle questions and comments about their background or family. Help your child come up with and practice appropriate responses to teasing or mean remarks. Use books, Web sites and movies that show children in LGBT families. Consider having a support network for your child Consider living in a community where diversity is more accepted.

Source: American Academy on Child & Adolescent Psychiatry

Military Deployment

CHILDREN GOING THROUGH DEPLOYMENT MAY EXPERIENCE MANY OF THE SAME EFFECTS AS CHILDREN OF DIVORCE.

SEPARATION ANXIETY
Preschool or Kindergarten Age Children Clinging to people or favorite toy or blanket. Unexplained crying or tearfulness. Choosing adults over same-age play mates. Increased acts of violence toward people or things. Shrinking away from people or becoming very quiet. Sleep difficulties or disturbances (waking, bad dreams) Eating difficulties or change in eating patterns. Fear of new people or situations. Keeps primary care giver in view.

SEPARATION ANXIETY
School-Age Children Any of the signs listed above, and: A rise in complaints about stomachaches, headaches, or other illnesses. More irritable and crabby. Problems at school (drop in grades, does not want to go, or general complaining) Anger toward at-home parent.

SEPARATION ANXIETY
Adolescents Any of the signs listed above, and: Acting out behaviors (trouble at school, home, law) Low self-esteem and self-criticism. Misdirected anger (lots of anger over small things; directed at siblings/parent) Sudden or unusual school problems. Loss of interest in usual interests and hobbies.

POSITIVE ASPECTS
Fosters maturity Encourages independence Strengthens family bonds

Family Violence

FAMILY OR DOMESTIC VIOLENCE REFERS TO AN INDIVIDUAL'S USE OF ANY FORM OF PHYSICAL, EMOTIONAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL MEANS TO CONTROL HIS PARTNER OR OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS. ONE-FOURTH TO ONE-HALF OF THE ABUSING MEN BECOME VIOLENT IN ASSOCIATION WITH DRUG OR ALCOHOL ABUSE. ABOUT THREE MILLION CHILDREN

EFFECTS OF FAMILY VIOLENCE ON CHILDREN

Unsafe Environment Emotional Symptoms Behavioral Difficulties

1.LOW SELF-ESTEEM 2.INCREASED LEVELS OF ANXIETY 3.REPRESSED FEELINGS OF FEAR, ANGER, GUILT AND CONFUSION 4.REGRESSION 5.CLINGINESS 6.AGGRESSION/TEMPER TANTRUMS

EFFECTS OF FAMILY VIOLENCE ON CHILDREN

7. SLEEPING PROBLEMS, SUCH AS NIGHTMARES, DIFFICULTIES FALLING ASLEEP ETC. 8. FEAR OF BEING TOUCHED OR CLOSE TO SOMEONE 9. LACK OF TRUST 10. FEAR OF MAKING MISTAKES 11. RESTLESSNESS 12. SUICIDAL THOUGHTS 13. INABILITY TO FORM STABLE

EFFECTS OF FAMILY VIOLENCE ON CHILDREN

15. STRESS-RELATED PHYSICAL SYMPTOMS, SUCH AS BED WETTING, HEADACHES, STOMACH ACHES ETC. 16. POOR SCHOOL PERFORMANCE 17. DIFFICULTIES TO CONCENTRATE 18. DECREASED COGNITIVE ABILITIES 19. LACK OF SOCIAL COMPETENCE 20. SELF-HARMING TENDENCIES, SUCH AS HAIR PULLING, NAIL BITING, ETC. 21. ALCOHOL AND DRUG ABUSE

EFFECTS OF FAMILY VIOLENCE ON CHILDREN

Children often feel responsible for the violence Children feel the need of protecting the ones that are being hurt Feeling of confusion Loyalty conflicts Acting out their feelings by increasing their negative behavior Parents are role models and children who experience Family Violence learn from their parents

1. Role of Play 2. Influences of Mass Media

 Play is the language of very young children. It helps children to manage their feelings and to cope with upsetting things that happen in their lives. It is one of the ways children learn about and practice living in their world and their culture. It helps build relationships. And play is relaxation and fun!

Infants (0-2)
Play Type: SOLITARY PLAY He plays alone. There is limited interaction with other children. Role of Play: Infants need to make sense of their world. They need things to see and hear (changes of scenery, parents' voices, music, mobiles). They start to learn cause and effect They start to learn turn-taking

Toddler (2-21/2)
Play Type: SPECTATOR/ONLOOKER PLAY Observe other children playing around him but will NOT play with them. Role of Play: It teaches the toddler how to act when he's ready to join in the fun. Watching the big kids play is a great way for him to learn the politics of the playground.

Toddler (2-21/2)
Play Type: PARALLEL PLAY Play alongside others but will not play together with them. Role of Play: The kid is learning loads about socializing and playing just by building blocks next to another kid. This sort of play will teach him basic concepts and rules of play.

Preschooler (3-4)
Play Type: ASSOCIATIVE PLAY Starts to interact with others in their play. Develops friendships and the preferences for playing with some but not all other children; in mixed sex groups. Role of Play: The kid may be playing in a group, but still doing his own thing. It teaches kids how to cooperate and possibly start making real friends. It also helps with language development and problem. This is the first category that involves strong social interaction between the children while they play.

School-age - Adolescence (4-6+)

Play Type: COOPERATIVE/COMPETITIVE PLAY Plays together with shared aims of play with others. Play may be quite difficult and he's supportive of other children in his play. As he reaches primary school age, play is normally in single sex groups. Role of Play: This competitive sort of play can help develop self-esteem and ultimately, foster real friendship. Some organization enters children's play.

School-age - Adolescence (4-6+)

Role of Play: Cooperative play involves a high degree of complexity. Children share materials, work together to create a theme and storyline for the play, adopt roles to carry out the play and assign roles to others.