Enjoyable Conversations

Learn the Basic Steps

The ways of making the conversation are simple

Topics you talk about How you talk about them Questions you ask How you listen

Topics you talk about

Ideally, the topics you introduce should be interesting to your talk-partner(s). Such is not often the case. For example, it is common for conversers to talk about what interests them, not others. Thus, they develop very little common ground. One way to show interest in others is to talk about what concerns or interests them. Sports-oriented folks love to talk sports; business people, business; political wonks, politics; mothers, their children. But due to their passionate interest in their own topics, they often forget that many others are not similarly interested. Therefore, this simple step is to find topics of mutual interest and talk about those.

How you talk about them

Do you do so in a flat and ho-hum manner? Or do you express energy and true interest in these topics? A routine, even robotic manner evokes a similar manner in others and makes a conversation boring for lack of energy and involvement. Working on your skills to share anecdotes and tell stories will move you closer to excellence. Most people love stories when they are told well. Therefore, this simple step includes adding vitality and expressiveness to your talk.

Questions you ask

Many conversers tend mainly to ask closed questions, most of the "Yes or "No" type. For example, "Did you enjoy the movie?" A better question would be "What did you enjoy about the movie?" So that you provide your partner with many options, including "I didn't enjoy it at all. I thought the lead actor was unconvincing." Having at least a few question arrows in your quiver will help you to conversational excellence. These would include not only closed questions, but also open questions that you can think of as "What" and "How" questions. Examples: "What did you do then?" and "What happened?" or "How did you solve that problem?" And "How did you feel after you took the medicine?" "If" questions are also helpful to get a person thinking, such as "If you had it to do over again, what would you do differently?" and "If I gave you two days off work, would that help?" Indirect questions are another useful arrow in your quiver. Examples: "I wonder if you're still thinking about going back to school" and "I'm puzzled about how you manage to remember everybody's name." So, this simple step asks you to increase the variety of questions you employ, and to use them appropriately.

How you listen

The most frequent complaint I hear about conversation styles is "poor listening." Instances of this include not paying attention or giving only split attention, interrupting others, mental rehearsal of what you'll say next, and not being responsive (flat or deadpan expression.) Good listening must include both intention to understand and attention to what is said. An effective listener is engaged with the talker and shows it. An effective listener would be able to reproduce at least the gist of what the talk said. The talker is validated by feeling listened to. This simple step requires you to let go of your preoccupations and, when listening, to give your full attention to others. Doing so will take a little time, but it will cost you nothing, and the results will make the practice well worth your effort.

How to Make Communication Effective in Business?

 Effective communication largely depends upon the effective organizational structure. If the structure is complex, involving several layers of management, a breakdown in communication can arise. An organization cannot operate without proper flow of communication. It is said to be the foremost problem of management in the way of making effective communication. It serves as the lubricant, fostering for smooth operations of management process. It is very essential for the management to maintain an efficient flow of communication in all directions. But in actual practice all massages are not effectively transmitted. Several impediments, hurdles, blockades, or stoppages, called barriers to communication distort the message and make communication ineffective.

 These barriers to communication lead to conflicts between men living in the same community, working on the same job and even person living in different parts of the world that even do not know each other. These barriers may be physical, personal, semantic, organizational, emotional etc. A communication is a two way process, distance between the sender and the receiver of the message is an important barrier to communication. Noise and environmental factors also block communication. Personal factors like difference in judgment, social values, inferiority complex, bias, attitude, pressure of time etc. widen the psychological distance between the communicator and the communicatee. Credibility gap acts as a barrier in communication. Semantic is the science of meaning. The same words and symbols carry different meanings to different people. Difficulties in communication arise when the sender and receiver of the message use words in different senses.

 The meaning intended by the sender may be different from the meaning followed by the receiver. Status in the hierarchy is the most fundamental barrier that obstructs free flow of information. A superior may only give selected information to subordinates so as to make status difference and subordinates tend to convey only those things, which the superior would, appreciate. Effective communication largely depends upon the effective organizational structure. If the structure is complex, involving several layers of management, a breakdown in communication can arise. Moreover information traveling through formal structures introduces rigidity and causes delay because of long line of communication. Barriers may also arise due to emotional attitude because when emotions are strong one cannot judge the predictability of human nature.

How to Make Your Messages Memorable

What makes a memorable TV commercial, product design, or marketing campaign? Why do you listen to certain politicians or business leaders, and glaze over at the very mention of others? Why is it that you dread opening certain senders emails, but open others as soon as they land in your inbox? Its all about messaging. When a piece of communication is to the point, relevant, worthwhile, and compelling, it moves you the listener or reader to action.

The 4Cs Model of Effective Communication

The 4Cs model is a useful tool for objectively evaluating the effectiveness of many forms of communication: whats working, what isnt working, and why. The 4Cs can assess marketing communication, as well as business communication, political communication, entertainment, and plain old everyday personto-person communication, from email and blogging to relationship talk.

The First C: Comprehension

Does the audience get the message, the main idea, the point? What does the message instantly communicate? Can the audience play the message back? This confirms that they get it and the first C is working. Here are three tips for better comprehension: Make the message clear and sharp. Repetition helps. Tell them what youre going to tell them; next, tell them; and then tell them what you told them. Keep it simple - dont go too deep.

The Second C: Connection

Making a connection with a communicated idea or message means not only that the audience gets it, but that it resonates with them, has meaning and significance for them, and usually triggers an irrational or emotional response: frustration, excitement, anger, passion, joy, happiness, sadness, and so on. When connection is there, it will spark new behaviors and actions.

The Third C: Credibility

The audience needs to believe who is saying it (the brand or messengers voice), what is being said, and how it is being said. Otherwise, any connection begins to break down - immediately. Credibility is the critical C, because the audience may completely understand a communicators message, and even connect with it on an emotional level, then promptly turn around and say that coming from this particular source: company, political candidate, supervisor, whatever, they arent buying it.

The Fourth C: Contagiousness

In communications, contagiousness is a good thing. You want your audience to catch the message, run with it, and spread it around. Think of the last time you saw a TV ad that was so funny or clever that you discussed it with your friends, found yourself reenacting it, or repeated the slogan or catch phrase in conversations. Thats contagiousness. To be contagious, a message has to be energetic, new, different, and memorable. It should also evoke a vivid emotional response, have talk potential, motivate the target to do something, and elicit a demonstrable reaction.

Effective Office Communication

Communication is technically the process of the transfer of information between the communicating entities. But we know the meaning implied by communication is much more than mere transfer. It is the sharing of ones thoughts and feelings with the intension of being understood.

 Office communication includes the communication between the employees as well as the business talks and communications with the clients of the company. The interactions between company employees determine the work environment and organization culture. Communication involves in formal meetings, discussions with clients or business negotiations has a direct effect on the company business. Office communication could be verbal or a non-verbal one. It could be a telephone conversation or one using an electronic mode of communication. The bottom line is that it needs to be effective. You need to express yourself clearly and completely. The person on the other end should understand you. An effective communication is the one that includes clarity in expression and exchange of ideas and emotions. Let us see some forms of office communication and ways to make the communication effective.

Office communication over a Telephone

While conversing on phone, remember to start the conversation by introducing yourself. It is important to convey to the receiver of your call who you are and the purpose behind your call. Remember that you are taking his precious time. Keep your conversation brief and precise. Make your point without wasting time much time in coming to the actual topic. A telephone talk is quite impersonal, as it does not involve a face-to-face communication. Gestures and facial expressions do not exactly support communication because you are not visible to the person receiving your call. If you do not happen to get to the person on the phone, you might prefer leaving a message. Clarity is again of prime importance. To make it easy for the person to reply, leave your phone number with the message. In case, you have not been able to answer your calls, respond to them. The person who has been trying to call you might have been in need to communicate with you. It could be urgent. So it is better to reply to the unanswered calls. Do not end the call abruptly. Make your point, give the person on the other end, a chance to respond and end the call with a suitable greeting. It is important to give due consideration to the age and position of the person on the call.

Effective Electronic Communication

Emails help in case of language barriers and accent problems. They lack the audio component, making them even more impersonal. Emails are useful in case of a time difference due to the varying time zones of different countries. Electronic communication increases the turn around time, as it lacks immediate feedback. A phone call can actually take less time than writing out the thoughts and mailing them. Some may find it difficult to express themselves through writing. They might prefer personalized calls. But emails are best options for formal communication. Of course, you need to be careful in writing because electronic communication puts your expression into black and white. Precision in expression and a thoughtful use of words are essential constituents of written communication. Do not respond to emails without considering the effects of your response. Think before you write! Forwarding options in e-mails should be used carefully.

 Business deals happen over phone, contracts are signed over the electronic media, thus making these ways of communication, key players in business. Learning to effectively communicate is the need of the day. Effective office communication is the vital component of the corporate world. So, are you ready to make a new entry into this world? This time you will be equipped with the tips to effective office communication.

How To Build Effective Communication Skills?

Having effective communication skills is considered to be one of the keys to leading a successful life. Generally, people learn how to communicate during their early years and that learning gradually builds up with time and life experiences. However, effective communication in particular is not something that people necessarily learn during the course of their lives.

 Its generally observed that people, who have good oral and written communication skills, tend to easily tackle challenges that life throws at them. Those people normally tend to do better at work, get early promotions, get along well with others and lead satisfactory lives. Hence its imperative to continuously learn and build up your oral and written communication skills. Consider the following five important elements that are necessary to build effective communication skills.

Improve language skills

The more knowledge you have about the language that you use for communication, the better. Improve your vocabulary and practice newly learned words by using them in your daily language. During communication, try to avoid saying long sentences. Try to make your sentences short and to the point. This may be difficult to do initially but with practice youll get better.

Listen with concentration

If you are having a conversation with someone, listen to the other person with concentration. This will ensure that you have a good understanding of the other persons point of view before you speak. Generally, people tend to concentrate more on what they are going to say instead of listening to the other person with full attention. Therefore, both fail to understand each other and the conversation does not go anywhere. Effective listening will allow you to reflect back on what the other person said and your response will be more relevant and to the point. It will also make the other person feel good and s/he will be more responsive to what you say.

Learn to handle objections

Never enforce your point of view on others and never think or assume that whatever you are saying is absolutely right and unobjectionable. Always be mentally ready to face objection on whatever you say and dont become defensive right off the bat. Open your mind to other possibilities. If an objection is thrown at you, look at it without prejudice and know that you could be wrong and always be willing to accept it.

Learn to control your emotions

You should try to be in control of your emotions when you communicate, especially negative emotions. During a conversation, if something is not said according to your liking or in line with your point of view, dont get angry. Keep anger at a miles length and always keep reminding yourself that you have the right to control your reaction. In case of a conflict, try to reach a compromise by finding a solution that makes both people happy. If you get defensive and angry at any point, it is more than likely that the other person will do the same.

Learn to master your body language

People are more visual and they generally tend to make an opinion about what you say by observing how you say it. During a conversation, your tone, your volume, face expressions, hand gestures and other body movements make the most impact on the other person, even more than your words. So mastering your body language and synchronizing your gestures with your speech will help you achieve your objective to become an effective communicator.

Barriers To Communications
There are 7 top barriers. Physical barriers Perceptual barriers Emotional barriers Cultural barriers Language barriers Gender barriers Interpersonal barriers

Physical barriers
Physical barriers in the workplace include: marked out territories, empires and fiefdoms into which strangers are not allowed closed office doors, barrier screens, separate areas for people of different status large working areas or working in one unit that is physically separate from others. Research shows that one of the most important factors in building cohesive teams is proximity. As long as people still have a personal space that they can call their own, nearness to others aids communication because it helps us get to know one another.

Perceptual barriers
The problem with communicating with others is that we all see the world differently. If we didn't, we would have no need to communicate: something like extrasensory perception would take its place. The following anecdote is a reminder of how our thoughts, assumptions and perceptions shape our own realities: A traveller was walking down a road when he met a man from the next town. "Excuse me," he said. "I am hoping to stay in the next town tonight. Can you tell me what the townspeople are like?" "Well," said the townsman, "how did you find the people in the last town you visited?" "Oh, they were an irascible bunch. Kept to themselves. Took me for a fool. Over-charged me for what I got. Gave me very poor service." "Well, then," said the townsman, "you'll find them pretty much the same here."

Emotional barriers
One of the chief barriers to open and free communications is the emotional barrier. It is comprised mainly of fear, mistrust and suspicion. The roots of our emotional mistrust of others lie in our childhood and infancy when we were taught to be careful what we said to others. "Mind your P's and Q's"; "Don't speak until you're spoken to"; "Children should be seen and not heard". As a result many people hold back from communicating their thoughts and feelings to others. They feel vulnerable. While some caution may be wise in certain relationships, excessive fear of what others might think of us can stunt our development as effective communicators and our ability to form meaningful relationships.

Cultural barriers
When we join a group and wish to remain in it, sooner or later we need to adopt the behaviour patterns of the group. These are the behaviours that the group accept as signs of belonging. The group rewards such behaviour through acts of recognition, approval and inclusion. In groups which are happy to accept you, and where you are happy to conform, there is a mutuality of interest and a high level of win-win contact. Where, however, there are barriers to your membership of a group, a high level of game-playing replaces good communication.

Language barriers
Language that describes what we want to say in our terms may present barriers to others who are not familiar with our expressions, buzz-words and jargon. When we couch our communication in such language, it is a way of excluding others. In a global market place the greatest compliment we can pay another person is to talk in their language. One of the more chilling memories of the Cold War was the threat by the Soviet leader Nikita Khruschev saying to the Americans at the United Nations: "We will bury you!" This was taken to mean a threat of nuclear annihilation. However, a more accurate reading of Khruschev's words would have been: "We will overtake you!" meaning economic superiority. It was not just the language, but the fear and suspicion that the West had of the Soviet Union that led to the more alarmist and sinister interpretation.

Gender barriers
There are distinct differences between the speech patterns in a man and those in a woman. A woman speaks between 22,000 and 25,000 words a day whereas a man speaks between 7,000 and 10,000. In childhood, girls speak earlier than boys and at the age of three, have a vocabulary twice that of boys. The reason for this lies in the wiring of a man's and woman's brains. When a man talks, his speech is located in the left side of the brain but in no specific area. When a woman talks, the speech is located in both hemispheres and in two specific locations. This means that a man talks in a linear, logical and compartmentalised way, features of left-brain thinking; whereas a woman talks more freely mixing logic and emotion, features of both sides of the brain. It also explains why women talk for much longer than men each day.

Interpersonal barriers
There are six levels at which people can distance themselves from one another: Withdrawal is an absence of interpersonal contact. It is both refusal to be in touch and time alone. Rituals are meaningless, repetitive routines devoid of real contact. Pastimes fill up time with others in social but superficial activities. Working activities are those tasks which follow the rules and procedures of contact but no more. Games are subtle, manipulative interactions which are about winning and losing. They include "rackets" and "stamps". Closeness is the aim of interpersonal contact where there is a high level of honesty and acceptance of yourself and others.

Overcoming Communication Barriers

The act of communicating involves verbal, nonverbal, and paraverbal components. The verbal component refers to the content of our message the choice and arrangement of our words. The nonverbal component refers to the message we send through our body language. The paraverbal component refers to how we say what we say - the tone, pacing and volume of our voices.

Communication Involves Three Components:

Verbal Messages - the words we choose Paraverbal Messages - how we say the words Nonverbal Messages - our body language

Verbal Communication Barriers

1. Attacking (interrogating, criticizing, blaming, shaming) "If you were doing your job and supervising Susie in the lunch line we probably wouldnt be in this situation, would we?" "Have you followed through with the counseling we asked you to do? Have you gotten Ben to the doctors for his medical checkup? Did you call and arrange for a Big Brother? Have you found out if youre eligible for food stamps?" "From what I can see, you dont have the training to teach a child with ADHD. Obviously if you did you would be using different strategies that wouldnt make her feel like shes a bad person." 2. "You Messages" (moralizing, preaching, advising, diagnosing) "You dont seem to understand how important it is for your child to get this help. Dont you see that hes well on his way to becoming a sociopath?" "You obviously dont realize that if you were following the same steps we do at home you wouldnt be having this problem. You dont seem to care about whats going on in this childs life outside of school." 3. Showing Power (ordering, threatening, commanding, directing) "If you dont voluntarily agree to this evaluation we can take you to due process. Go ahead and file a complaint if you want to." "Im going to write a letter of complaint to the superintendent and have this in your file if you dont stop humiliating my son in front of his classmates. I know my rights." 4. Other Verbal Barriers: shouting, name calling, refusing to speak.

Nonverbal Communication Barriers

Flashing or rolling eyes Quick or slow movements Arms crossed, legs crossed Gestures made with exasperation Slouching, hunching over Poor personal care Doodling Staring at people or avoiding eye contact Excessive fidgeting with materials

Ways to Overcome Interpersonal Communication Barriers

Use Simple Words to Convey the Message.
To have an effective process of interpersonal communication, you have to simplify language. Say simple structure sentences that will be easy to understand. Everyone hates to decipher spoken words, reserve the deciphering to the writing and when speaking, keep it simple and easy to understand. In a work environment, teammates can use word jargons to be able to understand each other using simple words or acronyms. Aside from this, the use of specialized acronyms will create a special bond that only the team will be able to understand.

 The process of interpersonal communication requires one to learn the [tag]art of listening[/tag]. We say art because not everyone can do this. A person will always try to get his opinions across first before listening to the other persons point of view. To master the art of listening, try these tips: a. Listen Attentively - Listening does not mean hearing what the other person has to say. Hearing is not the same as listening. When we say listen, we mean to hear and understand. The speaker will know if the person he is speaking to is listening or not by randomly asking indirect questions about what he just said. But if he learns that the receiver was able to understand what he has just conveyed, then the process of interpersonal communication is a success. b. Listen Proactively - Listening is actually a two-way [tag]communication[/tag] and not one way as others believe or perceive to be. When two persons are communicating with each other, an effective process of interpersonal communication will require the use of asking questions while the other person is speaking. This will make the conversation richer and more interesting. Also, asking questions will keep the conversation in the right direction.

Learn the Art of Listening

 Keeping Composure While Communicating

The process of interpersonal communication is more effective if emotions are kept at bay. Keeping your composure while talking or negotiating with a business partner will maintain a mysterious air while at the same time keep you on the right track towards your goal. When you are in a casual conversation, however, showing some emotions can be helpful to build rapport to the one you are talking to. Showing emotions will let the other person know that you have sympathy and compassion towards him and definitely are signs of genuine interest.

 Feedback is perhaps the best sign that you are communicating with the other person on a more personal level. Both the sender and receiver of communications may use feedback for effective interpersonal communication. If used by the sender, it will be in the form of a question such as Did you understand what I have just said? While when used by the receiver, it can be in the form of a remark or a statement such as, What a wonderful speech! When making a constructive criticism, be sure to say it only within the earshot of your subject. Remember, a constructive criticism for you can be misconstrued as a negative feedback. To excel in the process of interpersonal communication, you must hone your skill in providing constructive criticism, especially for team leaders wherein they have to be mindful of the development of their team members. Expect many instances requiring constructive criticism as part of your job function.

Constructive Criticism is Important

Overcoming Communication Barriers in Organizations

The following communication barriers in organizations and ways to overcome them-

Information Overload.
Too much information is as bad as too little because it reduces the audiences ability to concentrate effectively on the most important messages. People facing information overload sometimes try to cope by ignoring some of the messages, by delaying responses to messages they deem unimportant, by answering only parts of some messages, by responding inaccurately to certain messages, by taking less time with each message, or by reacting only superficially to all messages. To overcome information overload, realize that some information is not necessary, and make necessary information easily available. Give information meaning rather than just passing it on, and set priorities for dealing with the information flow. Some information isn't necessary.

Message Complexity.
When formulating business messages, you communicate both as an individual and as representative of an organization. Thus you must adjust your own ideas and style so that they are acceptable to your employer. In fact, you may be asked occasionally to write or say something that you disagree with personally. Suppose you work as a recruiter for your firm. You've interviewed a job candidate you believe would make an excellent employee, but others in the firm have rejected this applicant. Now you have to write a letter turning down the candidate: You must communicate your firms message, regardless of your personal feelings, a task some communicators find difficult. To overcome the barriers of complex messages, keep them clear and easy to understand. Use strong organization, guide readers by telling them what to expect, use concrete and specific language, and stick to the point. Be sure to ask for feedback so that you can clarify and improve your message.

Message Competition Communicators are often faced with messages that compete for attention. If you're talking on the phone while scanning a report, both messages are apt to get short shrift. Even your own messages may have to compete with a variety of interruptions: The phone rings every five minutes, people intrude, meetings are called, and crises arise. In short, your messages rarely have the benefit on the receivers undivided attention. To overcome competition barriers, avoid making demands on a receiver who doesn't have the time to pay careful attention to your message. Make written messages visually appealing and easy to understand, and try to deliver them when your receiver has time to read them. Oral messages are most effective when you can speak directly to your receiver (rather than to intermediaries or answering machines). Also, be sure to set aside enough time for important messages that you receive. Business messages rarely have the benefit of the audiences full and undivided attention.

Differing Status Employees of low status may be overly cautious when sending messages to managers and may talk only about subjects they think the manager is interested in. Similarly, higher-status people may distort messages by refusing to discuss anything that would tend to undermine their authority in the organization. Moreover, belonging to a particular department or being responsible for a particular task can narrow your point of view so that it differs from the attitudes, values, and expectations of people who belong to other departments or who are responsible for other tasks. To overcome status barriers, keep managers and colleagues well informed. Encourage lower-status employees to keep you informed by being fair-minded and respectful of their opinions. When you have information that you're afraid you boss might not like, be brave and convey it anyway. Status barriers can be overcome by a willingness to give and receive bad news.

Lack of Trust Building trust is a difficult problem. Other organization members don't know whether you'll respond in a supportive or responsible way, so trusting can be risky. Without trust, however, free and open communication is effectively blocked, threatening the organization's stability. Just being clear in your communication is not enough. To overcome trust barriers, be visible and accessible. Don't insulate yourself behind assistants or secretaries. Share key information with colleagues and employees, communicate honestly, and include employees in decision making. For communication to be successful, organizations must create an atmosphere of fairness and trust.

Inadequate Communication Structures Organizational communication is effected by formal restrictions on who may communicate with whom and who is authorized to make decisions. Designing too few formal channels blocks effective communication. Strongly centralized organizations, especially those with a high degree of formalization, reduce communication capacity, and they decrease the tendency to communicate horizontally thus limiting the ability to coordinate activities and decisions. Tall organizations tend to provide too many vertical communication links, so messages become distorted as they move through the organization's levels.