- The relationship between husband and wife.

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7.

Devitalized couples Financially focused couples Conflicted couples Traditional couples Balanced couples Harmonious couples Vitalized couples

Typified by pervasive unhappiness with all relationship issues. Marriage relationship itself lacks excitement and interest.

- Couples seem to devote

themselves to their careers rather than to the relationship.

For those who have fallen into pattern of nearly constant fighting and arguing. Either the pattern of conflict has become a habit, or they have adopted a pattern that they learned in their own families of origin.

- Marriage seems to be stable

Express satisfaction with both internal and external couple issue despite some specific areas of difficulty. They experience a strong and positive relationship.

Are well adjusted in their intimate relationship but demonstrate less satisfaction with some external aspects of marital life ( for example, financial ) They experience strong and positive relationships.

Characterized by a high degree of satisfaction with all aspects of their marriage. The key to the vitalized marriage relationship is that couples are intensely bound together psychologically in important life matters.

UTILITARIAN MARRIAGES
-

In which the couple stay together for convenience or because of the partners lack of a better alternative.

1.Devitalized 2.Financially

focused 3.Conflicted marriages

INTRINSIC MARRIAGES
-

Couples stay together because of the relationship itself.

1.Traditional 2.Balanced 3.Harmonious 4.Vitalized

Characteristics of a Healthy Marital Relationship

 Not

only do you feel happy and safe with your spouse, you are able to have those same feelings when alone. You motivate each other to live life to the fullest. To pursue your dreams and are able to work together toward common goals. You accept each other for who you are. There arent any expectations that the other will or needs to change.

 You

both feel secure in expressing your opinion. You know your spouse will listen and take into consideration your feelings on issues that arise. Your relationship with each other is your main priority. If something comes up that will cause stress in the relationship you always defer to what is best for the relationship.

 If

you are asked about your relationship the majority of what you have to say about it is positive. You are able to communicate in an open and honest way with each other. You always feel loving, kind and giving toward your spouse.

Characteristics of an Unhealthy Marital Relationship

 You

feel insecure and needy when not around your spouse. You are dependent on your spouse for security and feelings of happiness. withdraw intimately by withholding sex or emotionally by withholding love when there is a conflict. Instead of finding solutions to problem one or both of you shuts down and refuses to deal with the conflict.

You

 You

do not make your relationship a priority. You put your own desires and level of comfort before the relationship. manipulate your partner into doing things they are not comfortable doing regardless of the harm it will do the relationship. If you want something you will nag, beg or us emotional blackmail until you get

You

 Sexual

intimacy gives couples a level of closeness and loving intimacy they may not reach any other way.

VARIETY OF NEEDS

One partner usually has a stronger sex drive than the other.

 Desired

frequency may be different for men than for women. On the average, men seek sexual relations in marriage 7 times as often as their wives. The average frequency is 2-3 times per week;however, there is great variation among couples.

 Sex

is most rewarding when it is part of a caring, enduring relationship.

Affection,

respect, and trust are the most important parts of a good sexual relationship.

 The

key to a happy and healthy intimate relationship in marriage is open and honest communication that focuses on the good and assists the relationship to move forward into a more positive situation for both partners.

SPECIAL PROBLEMS IN MARITAL RELATIONSHIPS

- Consists of two people of the opposite sex living together, sharing sexual expression, who are committed to their relationship without formal legal marriage.

1.Stability

- Cohabiting relationships are fragile. They are always more likely to break up than marriages entered into at the same time, regardless of age or income.

2. Cheating
Both

men and women in cohabiting relationships are more likely to be unfaithful to their partners than married people.

3. Health
Cohabitants

have more health problems than married people, probably because cohabitants put up with behaviour in their partners which husbands and wives would discourage, particularly regarding smoking, alcohol and substance abuse. Cohabitants are also much more likely to suffer from depression than married people.

4. Domestic violence

Women

in cohabiting relationships are more likely than wives to be abused.

 Infidelity

(colloquially known as cheating) is a violation of the mutually agreed-upon rules or boundaries of an intimate relationship.

REASONS OF INFIDELITY
1.Emotional -

need

Extramarital affairs are an effort to fulfill emotional needs. Extramarital affairs can be an important validation of attractiveness and self esteem.

2.

Ambivalence about marriage Single people who are ambivalent about getting married may seek sexual partners who are already married because they feel safer knowing they wont have to make a permanent commitment. They escape the responsibilities of being a spouse but gain the benefits of being a lover.

3. -

Pleasure and excitement They want the excitement of sexual variety. A new relationship may seem more exciting than an old one, primarily because it is different and new.

4. Permissive values

- Some individual dont really see anything wrong with extramarital sex as long as their spouses dont find out or it doesnt hurt anyone.

PREVENTING INFIDELITY:
1.Keep

the lines of communication open in your marriage relationship. to fulfill each others physical, social, emotional, and intellectual needs through your relationship.

2.Strive

3. Learn to be loving and affectionate, frequently expressing warmth and physical affection. 4. Strive for variety and imagination in your lovemaking. 5. Commit yourself to sexual fidelity and live by that commitment. 6. Show respect, appreciation and acceptance of spouse.

7. Be honest and dont try to hide anything.

 Partner

Violence actual or threatened physical or sexual violence or psychological / emotional abuse.

Includes threats of physical or sexual violence when the threat is used to control a persons actions. other terms: domestic abuse spouse abuse domestic violence battering rape

 Although

estimates vary, as many as 6 M women are abused annually - one every 12 seconds.

Characteristics 1. Generation to-Generation Continuum of Violence without intervention , is self- perpetuating. It is a cyclical health problem. Children who witness one parent abuse another are more likely to become delinquents or battered themselves.

 they

see abuse as an integral part of a close relationship. Thus, abusive relationships between father and mother can perpetuate future abusive relationship. of abused parent: grow up with feelings of fear, inadequacy, anxiety, anger, hostility, guilt. they often lack coping skills, blame others, demonstrate poor impulse control, generally struggle with authority

Children

phases: 1. tension building phase the longest phase. Tension escalates between the couple . excessive drinking, jealousy, or other factors might lead to name -calling, hostility, friction. the woman often accepts the partners building

2. Explosion

The stage two of domestic violence is more violent than stage one and the victim can do or say or stop the abusers violence.

. All the tensions are visible in this stage two of domestic violence. . The abusers have lost all the selfcontrol and can seriously injure his or her partner by way of heating, in many cases. . The phase is shorter then the other stages of domestic violence.

3. Calm/Relief

The stage three of domestic violence is now recognized by both the abuser and the victim. The tension is less and brutalness has released with all the loving kindness. The abusers will in the state of shock, as to what he has done with the partner and the children.

Both the abuser and the victim want to believe that the domestic violence will never happen again and they will have self-control over them. The stage involves promises that are made to the victim and the abuser may some shed tears. Stage three is when most victims of domestic violence get the courage to leave.

1. Family

violence may be related to stress of one kind or another pregnancies and premarital pregnancies problems, unemployment , or job dissatisfaction incompatibility

2. Unplanned

3. Financial

4. Spousal