In Praise of Women

An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels. 11 The heart of her husband trusts in her, And he will have no lack of gain. 12 She does him good and not evil All the days of her life. 13 She looks for wool and flax And works with her hands in delight. Proverbs 31:10-1

She is like merchant ships; She brings her food from afar. 15 She rises also while it is still night And gives food to her household And portions to her maidens. 16 She considers a field and buys it; From her earnings she plants a vineyard. 17 She girds herself with strength And makes her arms strong. 18 She senses that her gain is good; Her lamp does not go out at night. Proverbs 31:14-18

She stretches out her hands to the distaff, And her hands grasp the spindle. 20 She extends her hand to the poor, And she stretches out her hands to the needy. 21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household, For all her household are clothed with scarlet. 22 She makes coverings for herself; Her clothing is fine linen and purple. Proverbs 31:19-22

Her husband is known in the gates, When he sits among the elders of the land. 24 She makes linen garments and sells them, And supplies belts to the tradesmen. 25 Strength and dignity are her clothing, And she smiles at the future. 26 She opens her mouth in wisdom, And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. 27 She looks well to the ways of her household, And does not eat the bread of idleness. Proverbs 31:23-27

Her children rise up and bless her; Her husband also, and he praises her, saying: 29 Many daughters have done nobly, But you excel them all. 30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised. 31 Give her the product of her hands, And let her works praise her in the gates. Proverbs 31:28-31

In this passage we are given an example and a mandate . The author of the text praises a godly woman. He then tells us the children and the husband of such a woman should praise her. He then tells us as readers to praise her.

Unfortunately we often accept the lie that somehow praise is not for anyone but God. We feel sure that letting someone know how far they fall short is a more godly way of approaching things. After all praise might engender pride

It has been my observation of myself and others that the most pride provoking experiences are from not being praised. They are from being criticized. The temptation to react by showing them is not usually engendered by people giving thanks for us or commenting favorably about us.

Further it is my absolute conviction that criticism of others is an identifier of one of the deepest strongholds of pride in the human heart. To see oneself as above others.

And He also told this parable to some people who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and viewed others with contempt: 10 Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. Luke 18:9-10 (NASB)

The Pharisee stood and was praying this to himself: God, I thank You that I am not like other people: swindlers, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. 12 I fast twice a week; I pay tithes of all that I get. Luke 18:11-12 (NASB)

But the tax collector, standing some distance away, was even unwilling to lift up his eyes to heaven, but was beating his breast, saying, God, be merciful to me, the sinner! Luke 18:13 (NASB)

I tell you, this man went to his house justified rather than the other; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but he who humbles himself will be exalted. Luke 18:14 (NASB)

The ability to consistently see praiseworthy things in others and communicate it to them is lifegiving both in those who we praise and even more importantly in our selves.

Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear. Ephesians 4:29 (NASB)

This came home in a deep way to me when a friend and I were praying together about strengthening our marriages. I felt the Lord place a challenge on my heart to begin to cease from any critical communication coming out of my mouth towards my wife.

I told my friend we should make a commitment for thirty days to not say one word of criticism to or about our spouses. Instead each morning we would pray and ask what the Lord would have us praise our sweethearts for.

After we heard what it was we would call each other and tell each other what we were going to tell them. Then later in the day we would sit with our wife, hold her hand and tell her what we praised her for that day.

By the fourth day of our doing this my friend and I were both in tears telling each other what God had shared with us that morning. It brought a sweetness into our marriages like nothing had ever done before. For me it became a life changer as I began to see the power it had not only to help others but to change my heart towards others.

I began to practice it in all the relationships in my life. To this very day I purposefully pray to ask God who He would like me to praise and what I am to tell them. I seek to do that for several people a day. The results have been nothing less than amazing through the years since I began this practice.

It has become one of those life changing principles that God has given me to help me and others actually do what God says to do in a very practical way. And I have seen that who ever does it the same wonderful results happen.

Today I would like to share what in the depth of my heart I believe about Gods heart for women. I believe it to be based on an accurate reading of scripture.

The Bible tells us to praise women for what God praises them for.

God intentional created the first woman in a way to create praise for her in the heart of the first man and for all women in the heart of humanity since.

Genesis 2:18

Then the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.

Genesis 2:19

Out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the sky, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called a living creature, that was its name.

Genesis 2:20

The man gave names to all the cattle, and to the birds of the sky, and to every beast of the field, but for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him.

Genesis 2:21

So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place.

Genesis 2:22

The LORD God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man.

Genesis 2:23

The man said, This is now bone of my bones, And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man.

Genesis 2:24

For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.

Genesis 3:20

Now the man called his wife's name Eve, because she was the mother of all the living.

Notice the care God takes to unfold the drama of Eves creation. You can feel the awakening of a desperate need within the man he created as God spoke that it was not good for him to be alone. It is said of all the things he did up to that point, it was good. Now he exclaims, It is not good. And here we begin to see His purpose in letting a void be in the mans heart.

I believe God created an Eve shaped hole in Adam. Before he met her he was longing for something but not sure what. In Gods typical fashion He let Adam see all the animals who shared animate life with him. He had them name each one he brought to him. But as they passed by one by one it became more clear with each new name given that none met the heart need he longed for.

I can just imagine Gods delight as he saw Adam growing more and more concerned. I can almost see him laughing to himself and thinking just wait to see what I have for you! You have no idea how wonderful she will be. I want you to appreciate her when she shows up. I want you to always remember a universe without her so when you have her you will always be grateful for her!

Finally all the animals had been named. All the potential candidates for curing the mans aloneness had been considered but for Adam none was found as a suitable one who was his opposite called alongside him to help him thats the literal translation of who God said Eve was.

So that was it. The longing in his heart could not be met in anything on the planet. One thing we must always remember when we sing that we need none but Jesus.. on one level that is absolutely true but on another we desperately need each other as well. And this was purposefully designed by God in us.

This need was placed in humanity before sin ever entered the world. Adams fellowship with God was unhindered. God created Adam with a need that not even He would meet. The only thing that could meet the need in Adams heart was the woman that at that moment only existed in Gods creative genius.

So one of the first things women can be praised for is that each of them are created to be a woman. Just as God created Eve intentionally, specifically, in every aspect of her being, physically, emotionally, intellectually and spiritually to be a woman so He has done with every woman since.

I have always been sure that the timing of Gods creation was intentional. He could have created Eve at the same time as Adam. As I said before I believe the timing was purposeful in Adam to bring forth praise from his lips when he finally saw her. And he did just that! The Hebrew literally says.

Here at last bone of my bones flesh of my flesh!!!!

She is Gods greatest work of art.

But I believe the timing had an even greater purpose. I believe God saved the best of his creation for last.

Its like watching fireworks in Gibbons Park every year. The grand finale is awesome. We see some great stuff before and we arent sure even if weve seen the best yet. But when the end really comes we all are amazed.

Isnt that the way it is with almost everything? We usually save the very best we have to offer in any creative enterprise until the very last. I believe is what God did with Eve.

Eve was the crowning act of Gods creation. She was the final glorious display of His artistry. Each of Eves daughters continue to display that glorious creative beauty and power to this day and will to the end of history.

She is the prophetic display of Gods purpose in history.

I find an even greater purpose in the timing of Eves creation which brings praise into my heart for all women. I believe she and through her every other woman, bears in her being a prophetic picture a picture of what Gods plan is for all of time.

I believe what God did in the seven days of creation mirror the story of history. The story centers on Eve. I believe every woman since mirrors the same story.

I believe the central purpose of the creation of the universe and us as male and female is that at the end of time God is going to take to heaven a bride for His Son Jesus.

The central drama of history is Jesus coming to this broken planet to purchase his bride with his own life. He, as he desires every man to do, fought for her, denied himself for her and gave his life to gain her heart.

The drama continues as he prepares for their wedding day when the full purpose of God in history will be fulfilled.. The marriage of the Lamb and His bride.

Let us rejoice and be glad and give the glory to Him, for the marriage of the Lamb has come and His bride has made herself ready. 8 It was given to her to clothe herself in fine linen, bright and clean; for the fine linen is the righteous acts of the saints. 9 Then he said to me, Write, Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb. And he said to me, These are true words of God. Revelation 19:7-9(NASB)

The design expressed in the creation of Eve as Adams spouse was intentional.

Their union was to represent Jesus and His Bride the Church.

Ephesians 5:25

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her,

Ephesians 5:26

so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,

Ephesians 5:27

that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless.

Ephesians 5:28

So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself;

Ephesians 5:29

for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church,

Ephesians 5:30

because we are members of His body. 31 FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND SHALL BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH.

Ephesians 5:32

This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church.

The last act of physical creation was to bring Adam his bride Eve.

The last act of history will be to bring to Jesus his bride the church.

Revelation 21:9b

Then one of the seven angels who had the seven bowls full of the seven last plagues came and spoke with me, saying, "Come here, I will show you the bride, the wife of the Lamb.

Revelation 21:10

And he carried me away in the Spirit to a great and high mountain, and showed me the holy city, Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God,

Every woman who has ever lived or will ever live bears that prophetic image in the core of her being even if she never marries. God has chosen women to show us the wonderful plan God has for the whole of history.

In the mystery of Gods principle of design God choose the woman to be the life giver.

I once was listening to a feminist speaker at UWO and she made the statement that the only difference between a woman and a man was the ability to bear children.

In keeping with the spirit of our age she felt this was a very minor point.

I immediately thought, That difference is so huge that it effects everything there is about our identity.

And yet she was very wrong in saying that her only difference is the ability to bear children.

It is only in the age of disposable relationships that we can fail to see that from the dawn of time the unique place God gave women in His design.

They are LIFE GIVERS, not only in the ability to bear children but in every aspect of their being - spirit, soul and body.

Eves life giving began with her relationship with her husband Adam.

Before she was a life giver to children she was a life giver to Adam.

She shared common aspects of his creation but the differences in her body, soul and spirit were centered in her awesome gifting of being a life giver.

Before she gave life to her children she gave life to her husband.

Genesis 4:1

Now the man had relations with his wife Eve, and she conceived and gave birth to Cain. . . .

It has been so ever since the first couple held each other in the wonder of Eros.

And so the mystery of Gods design is revealed.

The mystery of mutual dependence and mutual love bringing forth life.

1 Corinthians 11:11 However, in the Lord, neither is woman independent of man, nor is man independent of woman. 12 For as the woman originates from the man, so also the man {has his birth} through the woman; and all things originate from God.

As Paul Stookey wrote in the Marriage Song, Woman draws her life from man and gives it back again, and there is love.

Before she responded to the first helpless cry from the heart of her baby, she responded to the cry of her husbands heart for one to share his life with.

Malachi 2:14

. . . she is your companion, the wife of your marriage vows. 15 Didn't God make you one? Your flesh and spirit belong to him. And what does the same God look for but godly descendants?
(Gods Word Translation)

Our mothers womb was not the only place she was a life giver to us.

Again we see Gods design for life giving in a womans body. Her body is the source of life giving nourishment in those first moments of our lives.

One of the great tragedies of Hudson Taylors life was the loss not only of his wife Maria shortly after she gave birth, but also of his infant son. That son died only because he had no mother to nurse him.

The love, the presence, the provision and the protection an infant has from his nursing mother is used as one of the most powerful biblical symbols of Gods love for us.

Isaiah 49:15

"Can a woman forget her nursing child And have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, but I will not forget you.

Far beyond the early physical dependency we have on our mothers her influence will mark our lives indelibly. If she fulfills her mandate from God we will be given the best beginning we could possibly have.

The nurture, training and protection a good mother gives out of her love for us could never be purchased.....

But even if she was not the best of moms we can never repay what was given to us through her.

Because each one of our days are a gift from God through her.

By giving us life she gave us a chance to know and belong to God.

The most important life giving role in human history was Mary giving birth to Jesus.

Had there been no womb to receive Him....

Had there been no one to nurse him....

Had there been no one to care for him as only his mother could.....

We would not be sons and daughters of God today.

Galatians 4:4 But when the fullness of the time came, God sent forth His Son, born of a woman, born under the Law, 5 so that He might redeem those who were under the Law, that we might receive the adoption as sons.

In the same way if our mothers had not chosen to have us we would have never known the joy of our relationship we have with God today.

She gave us the greatest gift given beside what Jesus himself gave. She gave us the chance to live and in doing so the chance to find a lifegiving relationship with God.

Now some. Perhaps many of you listening today have been feeling uncomfortable with the things I have been sharing.

Some of you may feel that there are only a few women that you could whole heartedly praise.

Others of you may be remembering ancient wounds inflicted on you by one or many of the daughters of Eve.

Some may even be feeling shame, regret or condemnation as you are tempted to hear this message as a plumb line you must measure up to.

I know from my own journey of seeking to be the man God wants me to be that I must have Jesus in my life before I can be anything he may want me to be.

But I also know that we can help each other become what God intends when we value each other as God does.

When we see each other as God sees us. When we encourage each other as God desires.

When we commit to each other in love the way He commits to us in love.

When we commit to each other in love the way He commits to us in love.

Prayer Points: That we all would honor Gods image in His creation of women. That we would praise the women in our lives for what God praises them for. If we have wounds from women we would forgive those who have not lived up to Gods desire for them. If , as women, we have wounds from men not fulfilling their role in our lives we would forgive them. That we, as men, would love, honor and respect all women especially those we have a closer relationship with. That God would capture hearts of women who are trapped in bitterness by using us to show his love for them and the value He holds them in. That we would honor our mother no matter what she was like because God used her to give us life.